A/N Marry late Christmas! This hasn't been beta read either. My girl is busy and I'm comfortable with it. Plus I really liked this chapter and wanted to share it. Let me know what you think!

Chapter 19

Sakura

Six-hundred and twenty-six days into the past

Sweets.

They were all Sakura wanted lately, particularly rakugan. She wondered if it was her son, already demanding them from her. They certainly couldn't be a nutrient related craving. Whatever the cause, she was making them at least once a week. Every time Kakashi found her making them, he would chuckle and dutifully open his mouth to accept whatever colored crane she offered.

She wasn't entirely sure he actually liked them or if he ate them because she made them for him. It made her wonder about why his older self ate them. Did he actually like them or did they just remind him of her and this brief happy time together? He really didn't eat other sweets. Her rakugan were pretty much the only sugar he would accept. Maybe it was all a big circle of nostalgia and he only ate them for her; now because he knew she liked to make them for him because he ate them in the future, and then because he missed her so much.

It made her head hurt.

Either way, she wanted more. At five months pregnant, she was showing quite a bit and found herself bumping into things now and then with her belly. Standing in the kitchen, humming along to the music playing softly behind her, Sakura took extra care not to knock any of the bowls of powder.

"Hmmhmm" her hips swayed in time to the music as she mixed the color into the sugar. Orange this week.

"Hmm-" She thought she heard something. Leaning back and letting her chakra surge, she searched the apartment. Nothing.

Shrugging, she went back to her mixing. The tune was one she liked and without thinking about it, she started singing along—the steps she took as she worked rather than the lyrics. "Mix, mix, mix… scoop. Pour in the mold. Pour in the mold. Presssssss—oh! Oh! Dammit! Kakashi!"

The mold clattered to the floor, orange powder scattering as her sneaking husband darted in for a kiss around her flailing arms. He'd come up behind her, surprising her terribly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you so badly." He ducked her tea towel attack, holding his hands up. "Here, let me grab the broom, I'll clean this up." He snuck another kiss as he danced around her.

"Tch." Smile slipping through her pout, Sakura gave him one last swat with her towel before crouching to pick up her mold. "I don't know how I didn't notice you. I thought I heard something and let my chakra search the apartment and still—"

She paused, looking at her wooden mold, Kakashi talking as he swept around her. "I suppressed my chakra and might have stayed on the balcony until you retracted yours. I honestly thought you'd notice me, you usually do. Are you feeling alright?"

"I…" She stood, looking down at her mold, holding it out to him. There was now a chip on the corner—a familiar, oddly shaped chip. These weren't just like her mother's kashigata, they were her mother's kashigata. "I think so but… Kakashi look."

He did. "Shit. I'm sorry, Sakura. Are they still usable? I can get you another—"

"No…" Sakura ran her thumb along the chip and laughed softly. "My Mother's set had a chip too. Exactly like this one. See? It's a strange shape. She never told me where she got them, I always assumed she'd had them forever. But…" She shook her head in disbelief. "Now that I think about it, she never made rakugan. She pulled these out when I was about twelve and wanted to learn how to make them for…"

Kakashi took a step closer, leaning on the broom to look at the molds—and Sakura—closer. "You must give them to her at some point. But…" He pushed his hitai-ate up and—tipping her chin up with two fingers so she was looking at him—gazed at her with his Sharingan. "Are you sure you're OK? I wasn't kidding earlier, usually you notice me and just pretend to be surprised."

She scoffed. "That's not…" He gave her a look. "Okay, yeah. It's kind of cute." She shrugged. "I had the radio on and I was distracted. I've been a little tired lately but that's normal. I am growing a whole human, you know."

The right corner of his mouth turned up as his red gaze dropped to her stomach along with one of his hands. It caressed the side of her stomach where she assumed he could see their son resting. "Yeah, I know. He looks like a fuzzy little person. Strong chakra signature already." He glanced up at her. "Yours looks a little weaker though. Have you eaten yet today? It seems like you've been losing chakra faster lately. I've only been gone four days but it's worse than when I left. You're sure that's normal?"

Sighing, and not altogether sure he wasn't justified in his concern, she covered his hand with both of hers. "I'm fine, Kakashi. If you're worried, now that you're home, you can run down to Hatsue's and get us dinner. I'll sit down and rest, and you can feed me."

Kakashi smiled wider and leaned in to kiss her. "Sounds good. Let me finish cleaning this up, and I'll change and head out. Anything in particular you want or just whatever he gives me?"

Sakura took off her apron and hung it in its place, chuckling. "Whatever he thinks is best. He always knows."

"Okay. Hey…" He caught her wrist as she turned away, pulling her into his arms.

Grinning, she leaned up on her toes to kiss him. "I'm glad you're back. I missed you."

"Me too, Sakura."

"Kakashi?"

"Yes, wife?"

She pouted. "I still want my rakugan."

KSK

Six-hundred and thirty-four days into the past

"And… Here are the most recent hospital reports, Hokage-sama." Sakura handed him the usual storage scroll and began packing up her med-kit. She had given him his monthly physical for Asimada-sama on her way home from the hospital.

The Sandaime took it from her and began pulling the files out, stacking them on his desk. "Thank you, Sakura." He glanced across his desk at her where she'd slumped into one of the open chairs. "Are you feeling alright?"

Sitting up straighter, Sakura pushed down the lingering anxiety and smiled. "Yes, sorry, Hokage-sama. I just…"

His face darkened with seriousness. "Sakura, what is it?"

She sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I just wish Kakashi was back. I have a bad feeling about this mission. I don't know why…" She shook her head and tried to smile again. "It's probably just knowing how close we are to the end. I'm still not sure what's going to happen to me, and he's gone, and I just… I probably just miss him. Ignore me, Hokage-sama, please."

"Hm." Still frowning, he went back to sorting through reports. "Before you go, I have something for you. Though…" He straightened the pile, closing the storage scroll. "I suppose it's really for Kakashi. I have a feeling he isn't going to be in the mood for guests and well-wishers after your son is born. So I'm giving it to you."

He looked genuinely sad for a moment before forcing a smile on his face and standing. "I hope it will be helpful to him."

He was reaching for something in one of his many desk drawers when Pakkun landed on the window ledge, leaping into the room. "Hokage-sama."

"Pakkun!" Sakura stood and crossed the room to kneel in front of the pug. "Pakkun, is Kakashi ok?"

The ninken looked anxiously back and forth between her and the Hokage. Clearly, she was not the intended audience for whatever he had to say. "Eh…" He gave her an apologetic look before stepping around her to address the Hokage. "He's requesting backup. No one is hurt—but the circumstances have changed. They need two more teams to deal with the target."

The Hokage sighed, forming a hand sign. Immediately, one of his personal ANBU guards appeared at his side. "Get me Bear's team. At once." The masked nin nodded once and disappeared as the Hokage turned back to them. "Unfortunately I only have one team available at the moment. That will have to be enough."

The bubbling anxiety Sakura had been feeling for the last two days erupted into full on panic. Was this going to end up like the mission in the Land of Rivers? Did he need her? Was she supposed to be there for him this time too?

"It will." Pakkun sat back on his haunches to wait for the extra team, but Sakura was not able to let it go quite so easily.

"Hokage-sama, send me too."

Both he and Pakkun sputtered protests immediately.

"No way, Hana-san."

"Hana-san, this was a dangerous S-rank mission to start with and it's only gotten worse. Hound would not thank me for sending his pregnant wife into the fray. I can't in good conscience—"

"Please!" Sakura brought a palm down on his desk a little harder than was respectful. "What if he needs me again? Like last time! What if…" She glanced down at Pakkun before returning her gaze to the Hokage, trying desperately to make him understand. "What if I'm supposed to be there? He would have died in that cave with any other medic in this village but me, what if this is another time like that? You don't have enough backup to send, what if he's hurt like that again?"

The Hokage sighed but was cut off by a gruff bark. "It's out of the question, Hana-san. He knows what he risks every time he goes on a mission. He won't forgive either of us if you're hurt. You're carrying his pup—"

"I know that, Pakkun." She cut him off. For some reason she could not explain, Sakura had to be there. She had had a bad feeling since he'd left, something was going to happen on this mission, she just knew it. It would be fine for her to be there. Nothing would happen to their son, because he was going to graduate from the Academy in twelve years. She'd already lived that. "I won't fight. I'll hang back and be there if he, or any of them are hurt."

Pakkun snuffled, looking determinedly away from her but the Hokage seemed to understand. "Fine. You're right, I don't have enough backup so they might need a medic." Just then four masked ANBU she did not recognize appeared, kneeling in the office awaiting orders. "But no interfering. You are there for medical needs only. Am I clear, Hatake?"

Sakura bowed respectfully as she waited for him to address the ANBU team, thankful she had brought her field med kit for the Hokage's physical. Orders were given quickly and in minutes, they were off, following Pakkun through the trees.

It was an immense drain, racing through trees at shinobi speed. Her chakra drained faster than it should have, but she pushed past it. They were only going half a day's run. She could handle it.

Finally, Pakkun stopped, the ANBU team landing around him silently. "Hana-san, you wait here. You're close enough if you're needed but far enough their sensors shouldn't be able to pick you up. I'll find you if we need you." He looked up at the ANBU captain. "Follow me."

Alone, Sakura sagged against the tree she was in. Exhaustion hit her all at once. Her chakra felt weak and her heart raced. Sitting with her back against the trunk, Sakura took several deep breaths. She would be ok. She needed to be here.

Waiting in the too quiet trees, she wondered if she should take a soldier pill. It wouldn't hurt Kazuki at all, she knew, but the crash might be significant to her. Maybe this was what took her in the end. Maybe her chakra gave out completely and she just died of exhaustion after delivering her son, not even the chakra stored in her seal enough to save her.

If that was the case, this would have to be the last time she did anything major. No more surgery or regular rounds at the hospital. Teaching barely expended any chakra, but everything else would have to be cut. She had to make it to Kazuki's birthday. She would make it.

Sounds of battle rang through the dense forest, by the sound of it at least a half a mile away. Her chest tightened, anxious for what she felt certain was coming. "Maybe just half a soldier pill."

She pulled one out from her med kit, crushing it into smaller pieces in her hand so she could eat it slowly. Unfortunately, before she put the first foul, herby smelling bite in her mouth, an unfamiliar, threatening feeling chakra approached. Replacing the soldier pill and drawing one of her poisoned kunai, Sakura prepared herself.

"Hmm. Interesting. I thought I sensed another person up here." Sakura did not recognize the enemy that stepped out from between the dense tree branches in front of her, but there was something familiar about him—a certain offness that reminded her of… "They brought a medic? Very good, they'll be needing you I'm sure." His gaze felt disgusting as it wandered over her, landing on the round belly she could not hide. "Very interesting. Too bad for your comrades, I think I'll take you home with me while they're distracted. I know someone that would pay extra for a pregnant kunoichi." He chuckled darkly. "Why on earth would they bring you into the field."

As he took a step closer, Sakura stood, her back against the tree, and brandished her kunai. "Not another step or it will be your last."

His grin was wicked. "Your chakra is weak. You might be a fearsome kunoichi, but right now you should be at home with your feet up. Not out here. What kind of man would let you take a mission in your condition?" He tsk'd as he took two more steps towards her. "Well, his loss will be my gain."

When he sprang at her, she was ready for it, her kunai blocking the blade he'd hidden up his sleeve. Gathering what chakra she had, Sakura pushed him back but he landed easily only four feet away on the long branch. "You'd attack a pregnant medic?" She scoffed. "Pathetic." Wondering if she was right about who she thought he was working for, she tried to press him. "Who could possibly have any use for me?"

"You'd be surprised how useful you could be. My master has a particular… scientific interest. You present a unique opportunity. Now, let's not waste what's left of your chakra fighting, kunoichi. We both know what would happen if I wore you out first. You'd be no use to anyone then."

This time when he lunged for her, another, intimately familiar chakra erupted through the trees. Fury and death poured off of Kakashi, his body a blood splattered, impenetrable wall between her and her would-be kidnapper. "You should have run home to your master like the good little pet you are. Now I'm going to kill you."

The grin on the unnamed villain's face as Kakashi held back his blade with a sparking kunai, sent chills up Sakura's spine.

"Don't tell me, she's yours, isn't she?"

Kakashi didn't spare him any more explanation as he fought the cackling bastard off with a viciousness Sakura had forgotten he possessed. Slashing through whatever experimental body horror jutsu this enemy had been given, he made quick work of him. Not, unfortunately, without taking a deadly looking hit to his left side.

"Kakashi!" He did not look at her. Instead—as he stood over the body of the man that had tried to kidnap her—one hand held his bleeding side, the other reached up to his radio.

"Status." He was quiet as he listened, still not looking at her. "Do any of them need immediate treatment or can they make it back?" He swore once before responding. "Fine. We'll be right there."

Finally turning to face her, Kakashi looked her over. "Are you hurt?" His voice, only slightly softer than when he'd addressed his team, was curt. When she shook her head, he let out a sharp breath. "Can you move on your own?"

Standing on shaky legs, Sakura reached for one of the lumps of soldier pill in her pouch. He was in front of her, catching her wrist before she could pop it in her mouth. "Is that safe?"

Sakura sighed. "It will be fine. I need a little more chakra if I'm going to be healing anyone." He let her eat it but when she tried to reach for his side, he stopped her again. "Kakashi I—"

"It's fine. I'll make it to the hospital. Let's go." As he leapt down from the tree, expecting her to follow, Sakura felt as if he'd slapped her. She could already tell he was upset, but his dismissal hurt. Volunteering to get treated at the hospital by someone else? Kakashi was furious.

Ignoring the stinging in her eyes, she followed. In minutes, they were in a small clearing. Five ANBU besides her husband stood around in a macabre tableau. All bloodied and looking haggard, they leaned against trees or one another. Two were on the ground, one—Tenzō—was being supported by Genma. There was a gash that, even beneath his flack vest and shirt, Sakura could tell was potentially fatal.

Not wasting any time or any of her chakra, Sakura immediately got to work. "Take this off of him."

Genma immediately did as she asked, unclipping his ruined flack vest. "What are you doing here?"

Ignoring the glare she could feel coming from Kakashi, and the heavy gazes of the others, Sakura whispered back as she worked. "I happened to be with the Hokage when Pakkun arrived. He didn't have the two requested teams to send, and I had a feeling I needed to be here."

He scoffed and nodded at the extra team. "Aiko could have been ready as fast as they were. You didn't need to risk—"

"I didn't think about that. I just knew you'd need someone and I was there. I'm fine."

It sounded like he had opened his mouth to say something else, but a glance up and over her shoulder silenced him. Not bothering to look back at her masked husband, Sakura did what she could for Tenzō.

He was badly hurt, and she had been right. It was definitely fatal. Not something Aiko couldn't have handled easily had she been called, as Genma had suggested, but he would never have made it back to the village.

It wasn't Kakashi, but Tenzo was important too. They couldn't lose him here.

KSK

Kakashi didn't speak to her the entire way home. Injured himself, he'd ordered Genma to carry her back so she did not exhaust herself as the soldier pill wore off. One of the other team carried Tenzō.

She had wanted to go to the hospital with them, but he'd silently refused, Genma taking her home to wait for him instead. Eating something she found in the fridge, Sakura lay down in their bed alone, hoping he would be able to forgive her.

This was a first for them. They hadn't really fought before. There had been a few snide comments when they'd been assembling furniture, but that didn't count. And this time, she wasn't sure 'fight' was even going to be the right description.

She had unnecessarily risked not only her life, but the life of their unborn son. Sure, Tenzō would have died without her, but Genma was right. If she hadn't been so panicked, if either she or the Hokage had taken a few seconds to think, Aiko could have been sent just as easily. It didn't have to be her. He was furious with her and she had nothing to say in her defense that wasn't easily refuted.

The only thing she clung to was the knowledge she'd had that she would be fine because Kazuki was fine, and it was still four months out from his birthday. Had it been a real risk?

Knowing her husband was out there, grudgingly being treated by some other medic and so angry he'd hardly been able to look at her, made Sakura feel almost ill. Every minute that ticked by while she waited for him in the darkness of their bedroom felt like an eternity. Would he even come straight back to her or would he stop somewhere for a cigarette first so he could process his anger before seeing her again?

She got her answer after a couple of anxious hours. It was late by the time he came in, but it had already been dark when they'd gotten back to the village. He dropped down on the balcony outside of their bedroom and came in.

He didn't look at her at first, dropping the flack vest he'd been carrying on the chair in the corner. She could see that he wore thickly wrapped bandages around his torso beneath his sleeveless uniform. More than anything, she wanted to go to him and check his wounds herself, to wrap herself around him and forget the whole day.

But she could tell by the rigid way he stood, still facing away from her, that this wasn't going to be that easy. "Aiko said that Tenzō wouldn't have made it back to the village if you hadn't been there. But Genma was right, she could have been there just as fast." He took his mask off, staring down at it in his hands. "Was it like before? Did it have to be you or could another medic have managed it?"

Sakura sighed, and sat up, drawing her knees up against herself. "No. She would have been able to do it. Honestly, it was a devastating injury but not something most of the medics on mission rotation couldn't have handled."

He nodded. "Then why did you feel the need to risk yourself when you know your chakra is failing? How could you risk…" His hands tightened around his mask so hard it creaked under the strain. "I can't lose you yet, Sakura. I'm not—" His breath caught. "Not ready. And our son… I can't lose him either."

Heart breaking to hear the pain in his voice, pain she had caused, Sakura said the only thing she could think of. "You weren't going to. I wasn't in any danger, Kakashi. Our son is going to be fine, I've already watched him grow up—"

His mask clattered hard against the wall where he threw it, finally turning to face her. Sakura recoiled at the furious, hurt expression on his face. "Are you serious? That wasn't good enough for you, what makes you think it would be good enough for me?" He struck his chest for emphasis, making her jump. "Me, who hasn't lived it yet." And again. "Me, who has nothing but my own interpretation of all the hints you've dropped about the future—hints that don't exactly paint the best picture."

Sakura covered her mouth with a hand as he pressed both of his against his eyes, trying to calm down. After a few deep breaths, his hands dragged through his hair before fisting at his sides. "What did you ask of me, Sakura?"

"Kakashi, I—"

"What did you make me promise? Every time I leave?"

A sob caught in her throat. She hated that he was right. She hated that she was so clearly in the wrong and that she couldn't even defend herself. "Not to rely on my future, and not… not to be reckless."

"Not to be reckless. Sakura… do you have any idea how I felt when that bastard ran off from the fight and Pakkun told me you were back there? When I saw him attack you? If I'd been just two seconds slower… He worked for Orochimaru, did you know that? Do you know what would have happened to you if he'd taken you back to him, to our son? If I hadn't made it in time, Sakura do you have any—" This time when his voice broke, he covered his face with his hands.

Unable to watch him any longer, Sakura slid off the bed and fell to her knees in front of him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against him. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi." A sob escaped before she could help it. "You're right, it was so reckless, Kakashi. I have been so worried about you since you left this time, and I didn't know why. And then when Pakkun showed up and the Hokage didn't have all the backup you needed, I panicked. I didn't think— I'm so sorry, I did exactly what I asked you not to do. Anything could have happened to me."

Just exactly how close she and their son had come to some horrible fate hit her squarely in the chest, and she choked on another sob. She had guessed who their target had been and she knew what the twisted snake Sannin did, especially to children. "If you hadn't gotten there when you did… oh Kami—Kakashi, I'm so sorry. I should have sent Aiko or someone else. I'm so sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?" What if he didn't? What if he couldn't? Sakura wouldn't be able to survive if he spent their last few months together angry with her.

"Tch." She felt his hands on her head, in her hair, down her neck and around her shoulders as he sank to the floor with her. "Sakura…" He dropped his forehead to hers. "Sakura, promise me… Promise me—please—that you won't do that to me again. Please, promise me you won't be reckless, not ever."

Recognizing her own plea thrown back at her now, Sakura clung to him. "I promise, Kakashi. I promise I won't be reckless. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry." She sniffed, trying to stop her tears. "I promise, Kakashi."

He let out a pained sigh and kissed her. "Okay. I forgive you." Suddenly, he was moving, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her to their bed. Climbing in beside her, he pulled her against his chest and buried his face in her hair. "I love you, Sakura. I was so… I've never been so scared in my life. I'm sorry I shouted at you. I shouldn't have—" He cleared his throat and kissed her temple.

"You had every right to be angry with me, Kakashi." She held him tight, nuzzling into his chest. "I love you too." Hands brushing over his bandages, she suddenly remembered he'd been hurt. Jerking back to look him in the eye, she gentled her hold on him and caressed his injured side. "Are you okay? How bad was this? Which medic did you see? You didn't leave before they were finished, did you?"

He huffed a tired but still amused breathy laugh. "It wasn't as bad as it looked. Aiko patched me up after she finished with Tenzō, that's why it took so long. She told me to come home and remind you that you're not the only competent medic in Konoha, and you can look me over yourself in the morning."

Shamed at her friend's assessment, Sakura dropped her forehead back to his chest. She would definitely be hearing it from Aiko the next time she saw her too. "Okay."

One of his hands slipped down between them to rest protectively on her stomach as he kissed her temple again. "Goodnight, Sakura."

Covering his hand with hers, she finally relaxed. "Goodnight, Kakashi."