Kakashi's POV

Several months had passed and the seasons changed again. It's the seventh of March and Sumire just turned eighteen today.

It's been more than two years since I last saw her at the Land of Sea and I still miss her everyday.

I couldn't bring myself to move out of my bed as I remember her.

I have been awake for a few hours now. It was dark when I opened my eyes earlier, it was quiet outside while the shadows still lingered on the walls of my room. Now, daylight had already made its way into all the corners of my studio apartment, making me squint at the bright and blinding light as I stared at the beige ceiling overhead while the buzz of the busy street outside my humble abode filled my ears.

I was lost in my own thoughts as I remembered her birthday today, and also reminisced about the very first one that I wasn't able to celebrate with her more than a decade ago. She disappeared so I never had the chance to spend her special day with her, not even once.

I took a trip down memory lane to remember our farewell on the day they were ambushed twelve years ago.

We were standing by the carriage in front of their clan grounds as we were saying our goodbyes for her supposedly short trip to the capital. I told her to come back to me soon. She replied that she would, and that I should wait for her. I hugged her tightly that time while I channeled my chakra towards her to give her a "power hug" before she left. I still remember her captivating smile as she peeked at the window and waved at me and my dad.

I am still waiting for her up to this day despite the sleepless nights, the tormenting days, and harrowing years that have gone by. I might have encountered her briefly at Umi no Kuni, but it felt like a dream and seemed unreal because I barely even had the chance to ask how she had been. All I could do was savor her presence as much as I could before she ran away, breaking my heart into pieces as I watched her leave again that night.

I would give everything up to have her back.

I would leave this forsaken place if that's what it would take to be with her again. I could sacrifice that much for her even though I have built my current standing in the village with tears, sweat, and blood.

I would not hesitate to leave this all behind for her.

But it would be even better if she voluntarily returns or if I could find her and bring her back home instead. I pray for it every time and I could wait another decade if it meant I get to be with her forever afterwards.

I sent pulses to the necklace to greet her good morning today, hoping she felt it and wishing she was alright. The flare of her chakra still lingers inside me. I am glad we got bonded before she disappeared, at least I know she is breathing and alive despite her absence because I still feel her very familiar and comforting essence within me.

I tilted my head to my bedside table and stared at the purple-eyed girl standing next to me in the picture. The tears on the corner of my eyes freely fell down as I glanced longingly at her.

The most recent I saw her was through a photograph that was captured on some random street about a year ago. She looked kind of different back then, how much more could she have changed now and it left me wondering all this time.

Her wavy locks might have gotten longer or she may have changed its color again, she would undoubtedly be more beautiful no matter what kind of alterations she made in her appearance. Her voice probably sounded more enchanting, I could get lost in listening to her talk for hours. And I remember her laughter, giggles and smiles being so adorable, it probably still is until now.

Sumire probably still paints since she likes the art so much, the artwork she created that I found at the bookstore at the Land of Sea was the only decor adorning the walls of my apartment. She might have gotten better at experimenting with herbal plants and creating the balms that worked like magic, or maybe she even discovered something else as a new hobby since she is very talented in a lot of things anyway.

Kami-sama, how I miss her.

The thoughts of her bring me happiness and sadness at the same time. It makes me smile and tear up simultaneously every time I remember her. I feel comforted and distressed when I think of her. She always had a way to make me feel emotions that are in a frenzy.

I knew as soon as I met her that she would leave a permanent mark on me, something that would stay with me as I grew older. And I was right, because we became bonded almost a year after our first encounter, just before her sudden disappearance in my life.

I did not regret it all, but it scarred me deeply since her absence brought a great deal of sadness in my heart. Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if we did not get bonded at all, but when I think thoroughly about it, I was crazy for her even before that so it probably wouldn't change much compared to how things are right now.

Indeed, the bond completed me when we accepted each other's chakra essence, but being bonded broke me too.

Her absence left a gaping hole in me that I cannot close and heal. I am always in agony, like I am suffering an illness that won't go away and the only cure is her.

I can feel her but she is not with me.

She is like a shadow that I cannot touch, I know she's there but I cannot hold her. She's like the air that I breathe, I need her for sustenance but I could not see her. She is like the stars in the sky that I continuously admire, very beautiful but too far to reach.

This is what being bonded and broken feels like.

But loving Sumire Senju was worth all the emotional scars and heartaches.

The fleeting happiness I experienced with her when we were younger helps me to keep going on and it fuels me to wake up in the mornings, hoping that one day I get to feel that bliss again with her. I need to keep on living my wretched life so I could finally get to the day when I would be able to find her.

But then I realized, does she want that kind of future with me by her side as well?

Or is it just me hopelessly daydreaming about her?

She's out there somewhere living her life freely, but do I cross her mind like how she does in mine twenty-four seven?

Does she even want me the way I yearn for her, or does she only consider me as a childhood friend that connected her to the past which she unintentionally forgot about?

I love her too much, but does she feel the same way for me?

However, no matter how much I think about it, I cannot answer these questions by myself as she was the only one who could.

I might have her in my heart, but I do not know who was in hers.

Sumire might not see me romantically the same way I do nor does she want to find me again since it's been years and she still hasn't paid a visit to Konoha even though she knew I was right here, but it doesn't mean that I gave up on her.

The heart wants what it wants, and mine has been screaming her name continuously even though it's been hurting because of her all this time.

Goodness gracious, here am I again, being all gloomy and sad. This is a day to celebrate her so I shouldn't have these thoughts right now, it should be a happy occasion since it's her birthday.

She might not be here right now, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't celebrate her birthday and remember her today.

I forced myself to get out of bed to shower and get dressed.

Maybe I'll get food at Ichiraku's right now and then drop by the dango shop later. Sumire loved eating in those places before when we were still kids. Then, I would even get flowers from the Yamanaka's and give them to her dad at the hospital. I could celebrate her birthday this way.

That was a good plan.

I headed to my first stop, the Ichiraku's ramen shop is not too far from my apartment so I took my time to go there. It was almost lunch anyway, so an order of miso ramen would be nice.

I have to say that eating the ramen there gave me a comforting feeling, a sense of nostalgia. I remember the times I would treat my Sumire here whenever I got paid from my missions as a genin and she would say that it was the best ramen she had eaten in the Land of Fire. I have to agree with her since I haven't found another ramen place that can compare to Teuchi-san's cooking talents.

I left the ramen stand with a full belly and then made my way to my next stop- the flower shop.

There is an assortment of floral arrangements at the Yamanaka's today. Since spring had already arrived, the colorful bundles of flowers all looked so bright and cheery. Hideo oji-san would like something that would remind us of her, so I picked the sumire flowers that were arranged artistically in a bunch. The flowers are in purple color too, so it is perfect just like her eyes.

"Kakashi, I haven't seen you in a while." Inoichi Yamanaka greeted me cheerfully as I walked up to the counter to pay for the bouquet of violets.

I replied in a lazy tone, "Hai Inoichi-san, please ring this up for me."

"Nice pick, the sumire are in full bloom now in spring. Beautiful, right?" Inoichi is really trying his best to keep the conversation lively despite my monotonous reply to him.

"Yeah, she is beautiful." I said mindlessly as I stared at the flower that she was named after, not realizing that I am daydreaming about my purple-eyed girl again with longing clearly shown in my eyes and a bit of tenderness in my voice.

Inoichi seemed to recall who I was talking about, he had been in that emergency meeting before that I shamelessly barged in upon her disappearance and he was privy to the information about Sumire.

"Indeed, she is." He replied as I gave him the payment, then left for the hospital.

The flowers made oji-san's hospital room livelier since everything inside is stark white. It added some flair to the place since the pop of color stands out against the blankness of the walls.

"Oji-san, this is Kakashi. Have you been doing okay?" I held the man's hand to let him feel my presence and started to talk to him. "Today is the seventh of March, it's Sumire's eighteenth birthday. I hope she is alright and gets to celebrate happily even without us by her side. I ate at Ichiraku's for lunch earlier since she said that's the best tasting ramen ever, then I would go to the dango shop after I visit you. She used to drag me along with her to go there when we were younger because she liked those sweets so much."

I felt a sudden twitch from his hand after I said that.

His sudden movement surprised me, maybe talking about Sumire helps with getting a reaction out of the man somehow. I quickly called for the medics and informed them about the development, a few of them came by and checked his vitals.

After a while, Hideo oji-san opened his eyes and tried to move.

He is very weak though, so the medical personnels tried to stop him from further making unnecessary movements. The man became restless as the medics tried to calm him down and held him in place, so I went back to his side and tried my best to calm down the confused man.

"Please calm down." I tried to comfort him and held his hand. He stopped moving and directed his eyes on me as soon as he heard my voice, "I am Kakashi. Do you remember me, oji-san?" He seemed to recognize my name upon hearing it and nodded in response as tears started to well-up in his eyes. I tried to sooth his emotions by assuring him that everything would be okay and to let the medics look at his condition first.

The man still had a tube in his mouth, it's helping him breathe since his body was still too weak to function by itself. After the many years he had been in comatose, he still needed to recover before he could do anything independently. The medics left the room after making sure he was fine at the moment.

I decided to continue talking to him for now and stay in the hospital while he was awake. He couldn't say anything back yet but I knew he could comprehend what I was saying.

I reached for the flowers and showed it to the man lying on the hospital bed. "I bought these flowers for you, it's the violets you named Sumire after. It reminded me of her eyes when I saw it at the flower shop, a beautiful shade of purple that I could look at for days. I miss her all the time, oji-san. I see her in my dreams when I sleep, and when I wake up she's all I could think about." I admitted tearfully.

"Did you know Sumire wrote me a poem for my sixth birthday? She even painted the page with dainty flowers in her own coloring- purple, silver and pale yellow. That was the best birthday gift I received, of course the canine summon from father is a nice gift too." I paused for a bit before continuing the one-sided conversation, "But Sumire gave me something that's a part of her, her thoughts and feelings on paper. It's precious."

I took a deep breath before speaking again, "I love her oji-san, even when we were younger." I paused for a while after admitting loudly what I felt for her. It was the first time I said that out loud to anyone and I was glad it was with her father.

Hideo oji-san was the closest person I consider to be family, he's like a father figure to me, so I am comfortable enough to discuss this with him even though the subject of my affections is his daughter.

"I was very crazy about her. I think you knew and my dad probably did too. I still love her now and this feeling probably wouldn't go away. It's sad because I have no means to tell her now, but I will find her soon though so I can tell her about what I feel." I held the man's hand and squeezed it, "You better recover well before she returns."

He looked at me with tears in his eyes as I told him all about Sumire. He nodded from time to time at my words, indicating that he understood whatever I was saying at the moment.

My conversation with him was becoming too emotional so I tried to lighten up the mood, "You know oji-san I have been a jonin since I was twelve years old, I am even an ANBU captain now. I still remember what you told me before. I took your words seriously, you know? If I find her, would you allow me to ask for her hand then?" I chuckled lightly as I remembered the moment in my mind. I saw his eyes light up at my words, with his mouth moving slightly upwards on the corners, like he was trying to give me a smile.

"Don't worry, I will be able to protect her now. They call me different nicknames these days because of my reputation as a shinobi, and I will tell you all about it once you are recovered enough to have a conversation with me. So you better get well soon, because we have a lot to talk about and catch up on. Okay?"

The man gave me a nod and tried to squeeze my hand to signify that he understood what I just said, his grip was very weak though.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at Hideo oji-san's room.

I've brought a book with me to pass time, but it was the Make-out Tactics that was written by Jiraiya of the Sannin. It's not really ideal to read it to somebody else so I opted to ask the medics in the hospital if there's any book I could borrow. Luckily, there were a few in the Lost and Found Section, I borrowed one and read it out loud for Hideo oji-san to entertain him for a while.

After reading until the last page of the literary piece for my godfather, the man became drowsy and closed his eyes to sleep so I decided to leave to let him rest.

I kept in mind to bring a different book aside from my favorite that I carry with me all the time. I don't know if oji-san would approve of my taste in literature even though it was written by somebody he considers as his close friend.

I'll make sure to come back whenever I have no missions or training, he needs to have some company after years of being in comatose. I am aware that I need to inform him about everything that happened in the past decade while he was in a comatose state, but I would do that once he was in a better condition because most of it were bad news and it wouldn't do him good as he was still in the process of recovering so it's better to tell him later on.

After the hospital visit, I headed to the dango shop where Sumire and I would always go together from time to time during our youth. I bought a stick of dango with some green tea and chose to sit at the table in a corner. I still kept my mask on and used a high-level Genjutsu so I can eat in peace without revealing my face.

The group of girls sitting across from my table were clearly interested in me and were obviously trying to see the face behind my famous mask. But I have a lot of tricks when it comes to hiding it, so it is unfortunate for them. I held the Make-out Tactics book I brought with me in front of my face as I enjoyed eating the dango, another cover in case there's a shinobi inside the shop who can see through my Genjutsu.

Several women in Konoha are vying for my attention ever since I had been a teenager who was on an acceptable age to date or have a romantic relationship- the first one to confess was Rin, my deceased genin teammate, but I turned her down when she told me all about her feelings.

However, I haven't really dated anyone, unlike most of my comrades, maybe except for Guy.

Several girls become really interested in me, maybe because of the shinobi rank I hold, my popularity as the Copy Nin, or perhaps they were just attracted to my appearance. It's definitely not because of my attitude or character though because I am probably one of the worst if we're to talk about that. I've been asked out by women too many times to count, but I have rejected all of their offers and bluntly told those individuals that I am not interested in them.

I've broken a few hearts multiple times without batting an eye as I am sure I would not date anyone that's not her.

Sumire already had me smitten with her when I first met her and being bonded to her definitely sealed the deal. It is not just physical attraction that ties me to her, but it's the innate connection that we have towards each other.

People wouldn't understand what being bonded meant to a Hatake, so I never bothered to say anything about it. Not a lot of people even knew about my bond to her, and I take my private matters seriously anyway so no one really dared to question me regarding my personal life.

The public have heard that I was interested in a girl that one time when I went out to have a drink with my team and I unintentionally declared it out loud, but that was a long time ago and I'm sure that already slipped out of people's mind since newer gossips have replaced their interests since then.

Suddenly, I noticed a group of shinobi sitting on a table not too far from mine.

Some of those people attended the same class as Sumire and I back at the academy, they're huddled together on the other side of the room and were observing me intently. They looked surprise to see me out and about during my free day because I rarely make an appearance in public ever since I've become an ANBU operative, being in the Black Ops meant that I mostly stay in the shadows instead of being out in the open even when I am back in the village. Additionally, I did not really hang around with a lot of people except for Team Ro or Guy since he was adamant in issuing silly challenges with me whenever he saw me around town and he seemed to always find me whenever I am at Konoha.

Sumire's childhood friend was there too, Kurenai Yuhi, the red-eyed girl.

I looked at the group without emotion and said directly to Kurenai, "It's her birthday today. She used to like dango, remember?" I couldn't stop myself from blurting that out. I just needed to talk about her, it's her day after all so she needed to be remembered even by just a few people in her hometown.

The whole shop turned quiet after my statement.

They probably wanted to know who I was referring to as they watched my interaction with Kurenai, the curiosity on their expressions was evident as they observed in silence.

Kurenai's face was passive but recognition soon settled in her eyes as she finally realized who I was talking about. I heard a surprised gasp coming from her, maybe she did not remember her birthday today or she had totally forgotten about her and felt guilty about it.

Either way, I saw her trying to hold the tears from falling in the corner of her eyes when she replied, "Of course, I remember!"

Judging from her reaction, she also misses her, and I was glad that someone else aside from myself and her father still does after all the years that had gone by. She became silent for a while before she started to cry quietly while the others sitting with her comforted her.

Nobody from our generation knew the reason for her disappearance, except for me, so our previous classmates probably still wondered what happened to the lovely purple-eyed girl. She was only supposed to be gone for a few days, but years had passed already and she still hasn't come back.

I feel bad for Kurenai though, she did not know what happened to her friend.

If it were me, I would probably have gone crazy about not knowing what happened to Sumire. I am glad I had the bond with her too, it eases my worries a little because I know she is still alive despite her being lost somewhere.

I stood up after that and was about to leave the premises.

Kurenai stood up from her spot and yelled at me as I was about to exit the door, "Kakashi, where is she? I care about her too, why don't you tell me?!"

I halted my steps and froze on my spot as I thought of how to reply to her sensitive question.

I clenched my fist tightly as I forced myself to turn around and look at her. I saw the faces of the rest of the people inside the shop, they looked very curious as they waited for my answer. A pin dropping could probably be heard because of the silence that flooded the room.

"I've wanted to be with her ever since she left that day." I replied firmly at the red-eyed female in the room while others held their breath as they listened to my response. "If I knew where she is now, I wouldn't be suffering this much." I took a deep breath before I spoke again, "It had been a fucking nightmare."

I said that last statement in a deep voice as I stared at the group of people with the steely glare I was known for.

The people looked shocked at my words and some even looked scared. Maybe I got a little bit carried away and even released a bit of my killer intent. To be fair, it felt kind of good to say what I've been feeling out loud.

Kurenai was not able to say anything after that, she just slumped down on her seat as tears rolled down from her face. I hear murmurs and chatter of people talking about the scene they just witnessed, they probably are trying to figure out who the conversation is all about.

I left the place as fast as I could after that unexpected situation. I might tear up as well just like Kurenai did if I stayed there and thought about her, it's not very fitting to see a an ANBU captain having my reputation to be crying out in public. I could hold the tears and break down in my bed as much as I wanted to after I returned home.

The village looked so peaceful as I walked home to my apartment.

The sun was about to set and the sky was pigmented with the sunset colors, the birds were soaring freely and contentedly overhead, and the sound of children's voices and laughter filled the streets as they ran around the area.

Most people walked with ease and comfort knowing they are protected inside a peaceful Konoha.

These thoughts made me think about her again.

I hope she is doing fine at the moment. I pray that she feels at ease when she walks around wherever she is everyday. I wish she still laughs and smiles every time she looks at the beautiful sky. I want her to be happy and free while living her life even though she is away from me.

I desire for my heart to find this kind of peace that the village emanates and gives to its people, but I know it would only happen once I find my Sumire and be with her again.

"Happy Birthday, Sumire." I said in a whisper while sending three pulses to my purple-eyed girl as my way of greeting her.

The day was not entirely how I wished it to be but it had been good so I couldn't really complain much.

I wish that I get to be with her on her next celebration.

I hope to be present in all the birthdays she'll have for the years to come and for her to be in all of mine as well.

I want nothing more than for me to grow old with her by my side, counting all our years together until the end of our mortal existence.

It's something too good to be true but I know it's not entirely impossible. I need that to happen, so I am willing to take all my chances just for that dream to be a reality I can live in for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short it may be.