Not the D-20!

Considering that a string of random emojis were Lucifer's primary way of communicating by text, the fact that he used actual words was more than a little bit alarming. Chloe nervously jiggled her foot as the elevator made its way to the penthouse, causing the plastic bag to rustle against her leg. She glanced at her phone to reread the message thread.

Sex Devil: If it's not too much of a bother, could you please come by LUX? We seem to have run into a bit of an issue. Also, if you could perhaps pick up some bandaging and other first aid supplies, I'll gladly reimburse you for your trouble. Thanks ever so.

Chloe: Lucifer, what did you do?

Chloe: Lucifer?

Chloe: Lucifer, if you don't answer me in ten seconds

Sex Devil: I can't exactly explain this over text, darling. It's a bit complicated. I would have Ms. Lopez explain, as she's more of an expert, but she's a tad preoccupied at the moment.

Putting her phone into the inner pocket of her jacket, Chloe felt the elevator come to a stop. The doors opened.

In front of her was the weirdest fucking scene she'd ever seen. Which, considering this was the penthouse where the actual devil lived and crazy celestial-level shit happened all the time around him, that was saying a lot.

Maze had her karambits in her hands, standing threateningly over a… Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide. There was a lone D-20 sitting on top of the books. She had that 'talk, scum, before I eviscerate you and feed your liver to the hell hounds' expression aimed at the inanimate objects.

Said objects were in the middle of a circle of salt.

Lucifer stood next to her, flipping through the pages of a really old book and muttering under his breath.

Dan pointed at Lucifer. "Chlo, he rolled a nat twenty and summoned an elf out of thin air." He was apparently still pretty shell-shocked. "An elf, Chloe! A fucking wood elf!"

Registering her arrival, Lucifer honestly looked a little bit spooked. "I didn't do it on purpose, Daniel! How the bloody hell was I to know what would happen? I've never played this infernal game before!"

"Uh… what?"

Ella came around the Assyrian-carved wall that separated Lucifer's bedroom from his living area. "Oh thank God you're here. Did you bring the bandages?"

"Yeah." Chloe lifted the bag, still trying to make sense of what was happening. "I… what's going on?"

"Well," Ella gestured for her to hurry, "Lucifer and Maze wanted to know more about D-and-D, since I play it on the regular with Rae-Rae when she gets time off. I found out that Dan's a closet nerd who plays, too, so we decided to meet up tonight so I could run a quickie campaign."

"Right." Chloe stopped at the foot of the bed and found herself staring at a very naked, very injured… creature. He looked human enough, except for the really pointy ears and general sense of… otherness. The pile of medieval style clothes on the floor next to the bed were a big indicator as well.

"So, anyway, Lucifer's character is a sorcerer, and I had him roll to do a perception check."

She nodded, having picked up some of the game rules from Dan trying to teach her a bit when they were still married.

"Well, then the air over the coffee table kinda started… glowing? Like, a full-on portal type circle, just opened up over our heads." Ella said. "It was making this hella loud 'ssskkksssshhhsskkshhhhskkkshhhhsss' noise and made my ears pop, and then, WHAM!"

Chloe jumped.

"This dude slammed down on top of the table, breaking it, and… then I told Lucifer to text you for bandages, 'cause, I mean, he's bleeding from all kinds of cuts and stuff."

Feeling a really strong blue-screen-of-death sensation in her head, Chloe just nodded and handed the excited human coffee bean the bag of first aid stuff. "Uh huh."

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

Lucifer popped his head around the corner. "Just so we're all one hundred percent clear," he said, "I had absolutely nothing to do with the portal. It's literally impossible for me to rip a hole in space-time without the Flaming Sword, and that's locked safely away in Mum's universe now." Squinting distrustfully at Ella, he added, "I'm still not entirely convinced that she's not some sort of interplanar sorceress, however."