Hello! This is my Xmas giftfic for Tasch! Based on the following prompts: 1. (Post NEO) Wicked Twisters xmas sleepover. Blanket fort with hot cocoa, maybe watching a movie? 2. Frindo exchanging gifts for a secret santa (yes they got each other)
...Well, sorta.
These prompts actually posed an interesting challenge because Christmas actually works very differently in Japan! Rather than being a holiday focused on family and gifts, Christmas in Japan is a couple's holiday. THE couple's holiday in fact. Funnily enough Valentine's Day in Japan is actually for platonic gifts, and even the chocolate holidays often seen in anime are actually more gifts of obligation than romance.
Also KFC had a wildly successful marketing campaign that claimed that Americans eat KFC as their big Christmas meal, and this will never not be funny to me. What's even funnier is that KFC has actually become a higher-end restaurant in Japan because of this, with higher quality food for higher quality prices. It's always so fascinating seeing how different restaurants adapt and change to different countries. I sure wish we had this Japanese version of an American company here in America, because their food actually looks delicious.
Anyway, I adapted the prompts to better fit the Japanese version of the holiday, since TWEWY is set in Japan after all. I hope you enjoy, even if it isn't exactly what you asked for.
This is also something of a follow-up to My Precious Moments, though you do not need to read that fic in order to understand this one.
Thank you so much to oddvector and Darkblaw for being the best friends and betas ever. They helped immensely with Japanese Christmas research, and reminding me that Shoka exists.
Disclaimer: I don't own TWEWY. I do now own a Neku figure though.
A Forlorn Treasure
"Many things—such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly—are done worst when we try hardest to do them." –C.S. Lewis
Rindo had been dating Fret for a few months now. Hard to believe that the Game had been almost a half a year ago now. And...it had been going well.
For the most part. Rindo only had the occasional panic attack to be gently supported through. And sometimes Fret would text him in the middle of night about grief and nightmares. But it would be okay. They would carry each other through their shared traumas and hold onto each other no matter what.
Well, at least metaphorically. Rindo still wasn't super great about touch, and would probably never be. At least the colder weather meant that he was bundling up even more than usual. That helped a little bit, with less of his super-fussy skin directly exposed to contact. But often his body still crawled upon prolonged contact anyway. Even with Fret, his boyfriend, who was the one person who he should have wanted more contact from.
And according to Fret, that was okay. It was just how Rindo was, and Fret respected that. Fret would just offer airhugs and comforting words instead. All Fret really needed was a little handholding every now and then, literally or otherwise. He could get all the hugs he needed from Beat, or Shoka, or anyone else happy to hug him really. He'd only ask for a hug from Rindo if he really really needed it.
And Fret would smile and say something like, "Hey, if you're not feeling up to any hugs, then don't worry about it! I'll just, like, wrap himself up in blankets and hug a pillow or something. That usually does the trick anyway. So yeah, actually, just forget that this conversation even happened and keep being the lovable you, my Rindude! By the way, I've told you that I love you lots and lots for forever, right?"
Rindo knew Fret was trying to reassure him when he said stuff like that. There wasn't anything technically wrong with what Fret said...
Yet Rindo had frequently caught Fret leaning toward Rindo whenever they were seated next to each other, only to become aware of what he'd been doing and immediately snap back up. Or very carefully inching his hand toward Rindo's own, patiently waiting to be held when Rindo was ready for it. Or sometimes simply staring at Rindo, in the way that puppies stared through glass at people passing by.
So one day, Rindo decided to just hug Fret out of the blue. Because he could. Because he just wanted to show Fret a little extra affection that day. His body would just have to put up with it for like five seconds.
Fret gaped down at him for a moment, before he smiled and very carefully wrapped his arms around Rindo's waist
But his eyes, his eyes looked so sad, and...
"It's okay, Rindo," he murmured. "I'm here, I'm right here, and I love you, and I'm not going anywhere ever, and..."
...And Fret had assumed that Rindo was hugging him because of another horrible flashback to the Game.
...Because yeah, that really was the only time he ever hugged Fret normally, wasn't it? Why wouldn't Fret think that?
Either way, that was about all the hugging Rindo's body could have handled at the moment, and he pulled away. "N-No, I'm...I just wanted to hug you! That's all! B-Because you're my boyfriend and stuff."
"Really? Aww Rindude." Yet why did Fret's eyes still look sad? "Just remember, you don't hafta force it. I'll still love you even if I don't get hugs! And you can talk to me about whatever whenever! Or not! I know some stuff just isn't easy to talk about. I'll be here with the hugs or the not-hugs either way!"
Did...Did Fret not believe Rindo when he'd said that he'd just wanted to hug him? Did Fret think that Rindo must have been in the middle of a timeline flashback that he didn't want to talk about or something? Because Rindo wouldn't have hugged his boyfriend otherwise?
And suddenly Rindo couldn't meet Fret's eyes at all.
He wanted Fret to be able to enjoy at least some of the hugs they shared, instead of only going into 'must reassure Rindo about reality' mode. A mode that tainted the rest of their day with concerned sorrow.
Rindo might not ever have been entirely okay with direct touch, but...
...No, Rindo should research this. The whole 'weird about touch' thing. Yeah, why hadn't he thought of that before? He had the whole internet with him on his phone at all times! He'd just look some stuff up before he got started on homework that night. Shoka would jump at the excuse to delay homework to help out a friend anyway, and she was even better at internet searches than he was. He alternated between his own searches and articles she texted him.
"doesn't this one sound just like you?" she added to one link.
He opened it. "huh yea that sounds like me." Okay! Touch aversion! That was what it was called!
"thnx shoka ill take it from here," he texted back. "now get back 2 ur hw"
"spoilsport. :p try telling that to your boyfriend, not me."
"ha ha. at least u listen"
Rindo smiled as he focused on the links. He could always rely on Shoka to find him what he ...why had this thing called 'touch starvation' kept popping up in his searches then? That involved craving physical contact, which was like the opposite of Rindo's problem. If anything, that seemed more like...
He'd look more into that in a bit. First, touch aversion, and what made people touch averse, and hopefully how to deal with it, too!
Hmm, well, Rindo had never had any of that kind of trauma happen to him, so that couldn't have been the cause. Though it did seem like people with anxiety were also prone to touch aversion. So maybe if he could just relax a little more, it wouldn't be so bad? But he was usually at his most relaxed when he was with Fret, and that still didn't keep his skin from squirming.
Some people said that it went away after a while. So maybe he just needed to get used to being touched more? Now that he thought of it, for all the fussing his mom did over him, it usually didn't involve direct contact. Making sure that he was bundled up extra for the colder weather, sure. Maybe pressing out some random wrinkles in his coat, or sneaking in some extra goodies into the bento box she prepared for him every morning. But rarely would she simply hug him.
Meanwhile Rindo's dad had an office job, so Rindo didn't see him as often. Though his dad would often call his mom during lunch breaks, and ask to talk to Rindo if Rindo was around. The conversations were often a little awkward, because he didn't have that much in common with his dad, but it was still nice to hear his dad's voice. And when his dad wasn't working late, they had their usual family dinners where they all chatted about their days, and then quietly ate their meals once they ran out of things to say. But it was a peaceful kind of silence, where nothing else was said because nothing else needed to be said. But his dad didn't do things like rustle Rindo's hair, or anything like that.
That didn't make Rindo feel any less loved by his parents though. If anything he had only noticed the absence of hugs and stuff now, because he was specifically thinking about it. His parents just had different ways of showing they cared, and that was fine. But maybe that was why he was so weird about touch, because he just wasn't used to it?
Or maybe his parents didn't touch him as much because they'd noticed him not liking it? Maybe when he'd been little? He'd seen his parents holding hands or hugging before after all. Had he been squirming away from touch from before he could remember?
Hmm...
Though there was also the possibility that his touch aversion was some kind of sensory issue. Some people were just that sensitive to touch, even to the point where it could literally be painful. Sometimes those people were also sensitive to lots of other stuff, including the kinds of food they could eat.
...Rindo had always preferred his food to be as mild as possible...
...And he'd always hated the feeling of cold or even lukewarm air on his skin...
But then what was Rindo supposed to do if he had a sensory issue? Those didn't just go away. If anything, trying to push through or ignore a sensory issue only made it worse, according to a lot of people. Though a lot of other people said the only thing you could do was push through it. That it was a sweet and brave thing to do, for your partner.
Though other other people said that touch-averse people and touch-starved people weren't compatible at all...
Touch-starved...Right, Rindo should look into that too...
Hm...Okay, being touch-starved was when you didn't get enough physical contact. Yeah, that was about what Rindo expected. Not getting enough contact could cause mental and even physical stress? Not what Rindo expected. But apparently going too long without physical contact could lead to elevated heart rate, elevated blood pressure, elevated breathing, weakened immune system, weakened digestive system, and worse quality of sleep. Those were just the physical symptoms. There were also low mood, anxiety, depression...
Was Fret touch-starved though? He did get a lot of hugs from Shoka and Beat and occasionally Nagi. Though he always seemed like he wanted more. Like he was almost sad when they ended.
Did Fret seem more sad lately, just in general? More anxious? Depressed even? But honestly that could've been chalked up to their experiences in the Game. Same with the poor sleeping, since RIndo and Fret often texted each other whenever one of them had a nightmare or something...
...But Fret had done that kind of thing before the Game too. He hadn't texted about nightmares, but he often would text Rindo at 2:48 in the morning for literally no reason. Had he always had trouble sleeping?
Had Fret...always been like this, since Rindo had known him? Granted, Rindo hadn't known Fret for that long before the whole Game thing had happened, but...
But Fret had admitted that he had been hiding all kinds of pain behind his smiles for years. He'd said that he was working on being more honest, and Rindo believed him. But it was probably still tough for him, just as Rindo still struggled with his own anxiety. Maybe Fret had trouble bringing up his needs, even now?
Actually, there was a really simple way for Rindo to ask this. But it would work better when he could see Fret in person. Meanwhile, he should...
...Wow was it really 3:28 in the morning? And he still had homework to do. Great...
IIIIII
Rindo mostly sleepwalked his way to school the next day. Hopefully his homework was at least somewhat correct. But if there was one thing his groggy mind refused to let him forget, it was The Question and The Plan. Okay, make that two things.
Ah, there was Fret. He seemed pretty tired too. Had he stayed up late trying to do homework too? Or...
"Hey Fret?" asked Rindo.
"Yeah?"
"So, like, when was the last time you got hugged?"
"Kweh? Like, when me and Beat hung out yesterday?" said Fret. "Why?"
Right, Rindo should specify. "No, I mean, when was the last time you got hugged by someone who wasn't a Wicked Twister?"
"Uuuuhh..." The pause stretched on painfully.
But that was all the answer Rindo needed. He shuffled up to Fret, stared at him for a bit, and then embraced him tight.
"W-Whoa! Aww, buddy, y-you don't need to do that." Yet Fret leaned against him just slightly anyway. "I know that you don't really like to..."
Indeed, Rindo's body was already starting to prickle all over. "But what if I want to?" he grumbled.
"Oh, uh, then it's all good, I guess?"
The hug and silence lingered on.
"...Buddy, are you, uh, having a—"
"No." Crap, that came across as more tense than he meant to. "Don't worry, I'm fine."
"Oh. Um, okay."
More silence. Fret was warm, if squirmy. Everything else was cold. He finally stopped the hug, not just because his skin was crawling, but because he just wanted to go to someplace less chilly. "So, uh, does that help?"
"I mean, I'll always take a free hug!" Fret winked, but his eyes shifted away from Rindo uncomfortably soon after. "But, um, thanks, I really do appreciate it. Just, uh, don't force yourself too much, okay?"
"Fret...I appreciate that you're always careful about not touching me too much, I really am," Rindo began. "But this relationship isn't just about me. Relationships are supposed to be two-way streets."
"Well, yeah, but I don't need that much attention, don't worry!" Fret answered cheerfully. "It's not like I'm gonna die without getting hugs or anything."
"I know that you like touch, though," said Rindo. "And I don't want you feeling like you can't ask for physical contact from me ever. I love you."
"Aww, I love you too, my Rindude!" said Fret, his bright smile more genuine this time. "And gotcha! Good to know! If I really need a hug or something, then I'll just ask! Now, uh, guess we better hurry up if we wanna get to school on time, huh?"
Oh crap, Fret was right! "Y-Yeah, we better get going."
So...mission accomplished? Maybe? Rindo wasn't entirely sure if Fret fully understood what Rindo meant, that it didn't have to be an emergency, but it was a step in the right direction, hopefully.
IIIIII
Normally Christmas barely registered on Rindo's radar. It was a couple's holiday after all, none of his business. But suddenly he did have a romantic partner for the holidays, which meant he actually had to make plans for it.
Okay! Fret's parents were apparently too traditionally Buddhist to celebrate Christmas, so doing it over at Fret's house wouldn't work. It would also mean that Fret would need to tell his parents that he and Rindo were dating, which he hadn't quite worked up the nerve for yet.
To be fair, Rindo hadn't been brave enough to tell his own parents about dating Fret either. It should be fine, probably, yet Rindo couldn't quite bring it up.
Luckily Rindo's parents were going out for the whole day for their own Christmas date, so Rindo could just have his own date at the house.
Okay, location secured! Next, reserve an order of KFC! It may have been takeout rather than a sit-down restaurant, but Rindo did not want to wait in an insane line during the Christmas rush. Rindo wanted to make the most of his time with Fret, so if he could cut out the line, great! Let's see...a bucket of chicken, some shrimp gratin, and chocolate cake with festive decorations...Yeah, that one looked good!
Alright, now to get Fret a gift! Well actually two gifts, since they had also signed up for the FanGO exchange thing at Nagi's suggestion. After scouring the stores and braving the pushy crowds, Rindo found the perfect gift: a pale yellow Chocobo scarf with feather-like tassels at the ends.
He also wanted to get Fret some EleStra merch, but everything was sold out everywhere. When would the makers of EleStra learn that they needed to make more merch for it? So Rindo went online for fandom-made merch instead, which was honestly much nicer than dealing with the swarmed stores this time of year anyway. Eventually Rindo found this really funny poster of a chibi Lord Tomonami riding a chocobo instead of his usual mount, so he went with that.
So...That should've been everything, right? Rindo sure hoped so. Christmas was almost here.
IIIIII
Wow, his mom had gone all out this Christmas. Every single surface coated with Christmas decorations, a tree threatening to tip over from all the ornaments on it, fridge overflowing with Christmas goodies.
And his parents were hardly even gonna be here for Christmas itself. Guess this was for the rest of the week? Probably trying to avoid going out for groceries during the after Christmas rush, probably. Yeah, that must be it.
Once Rindo's parents left after breakfast, wishing him well, he waited about fifteen minutes to make sure they wouldn't barge back in after forgetting something. Then he texted Fret, before pulling out that red IL CAVALLO DEL RE suit that he had hidden in his closet. If there was anytime to wear this, other than the Game, it was for his first Christmas date ever, right? He'd probably outgrow it before he could use it for any job interviews.
Fret arrived, fashionable as ever. White coat, white pants, yellow gloves, a pale yellow scarf...with feather-like tassels...
"That scarf..." Rindo began.
"You like it? I was saving it just for today!" Then he gaped at Rindo's outfit. "Dude, why are you wearing a suit?"
"W-What? I was just following this guide online, and, uh..." Rindo scanned Fret's fashionable yet casual outfit. "Did I...uh, overdress for this?"
"Juuuust a little. But you're looking damn fine, my Rindude!" Fret winked.
Such a blunt compliment left Rindo feeling flustered. "T-Thanks."
"So, uh...whatcha wanna do?" asked Fret. "Should we go out so I can get a matching suit? Or at least, uh, kinda matching, 'cause there's no way I can afford a suit like that now I can't fight Noise."
What did he want to do? Uh. Plans. Actual plans. Rindo had been so busy worrying about the material stuff that he'd forgotten plans for actual activities.
Crap.
"Uh, well, we aren't due to pick up the KFC stuff for another little while, so...Y'know what, let's start with presents." Since Rindo's perfect gift wasn't so perfect after all, since Fret already had the exact same scarf. Hopefully Fret would like the joke poster at least.
Fret smirked. "Eager to get to the good stuff huh? Me too! So let's do this!"
Oh boy...Rindo fetched his gifts.
"Wow, your wrapping looks so professional, man! Mine, uh..." Fret sheepishly offered up two tiny boxes with wrinkly corners. "...Not so much."
Rindo chuckled. "I mean, it's gonna get ripped up all the same, so I don't think it matters much in the end."
"Heh, guess you got a point."
If anything, the somewhat baggy corners made it a little easier for Rindo to tear off the wrapping paper on Fret's gift. And inside that first tiny box was...another pair of gloves, nice! As much as Rindo liked the chocobo ones Fret had gotten him a while back, the bright yellow didn't go with much of anything. These new ones were dark green, with a Tonberry on each glove.
While Rindo studied the gloves with a smile, Fret effortlessly ripped apart the very meticulous wrapping Rindo had done. When Fret finally got to the scarf, his grin faded slightly, though he seemed more surprised than anything. Then he laughed. "Oh, that's why you gave me that weird look when I walked in. Aw man, Rindude, do you know me or what?"
Rindo chuckled anxiously. "S-Sorry..."
"It's all good! It's just really funny," said Fret. "Now we can have matching scarves!" He draped the scarf on Rindo's shoulders instead. "So it's actually, like, a galaxy brain move on your part! No, a giga-galaxy brain move! My man playing 4D chess here and winning, and he didn't even know he was playing!"
Rindo smiled nervously. "Uh, thanks? Y-You sure that you don't want me to get you something else?"
"Nah! I'd rather have the matching scarves." Fret winked.
"O-Okay...I sure hope you don't have this too." He handed him the wrapped-up poster.
Fret playfully inspected the tube. "Awww, you got me a whole roll of wrapping paper? You shouldn't have!"
"Well, I guess you could use it as wrapping paper if you somehow already have one."
Fret opened up the gift and laughed. "Man Rindude, do we share the same braincell or what?"
"Do you have that one too?" His heart sank.
"Nope! I'm just teasing ya!"
Rindo squinted at Fret in mild irritation.
"But yeah, this is great! Thanks buddy!"
Whew, so at least Rindo's gift-giving wasn't a total bust. He opened up the second box to see...a second pair of FanGO gloves. They were white with little moogles printed on the back.
"Yeah I...uh, wasn't sure what else to get you?" Fret's smile squirmed with uncertainty. "Since we go shopping so much together, and it's hard to figure out what'll go with your current clothes if I can't, like, just see or ask about them? But I noticed that you always wore the same gloves, so I figured, hey, why not add a little variety to my Rindude's glove wardrobe?"
Rindo smiled. "Thanks. I really did need more gloves, so this helps."
Fret beamed. "Aaaand that's another win for the Fretster! So, what now?"
Rindo checked his phone. "Food now."
"Sweet!"
It was cold enough outside to see his breath, and Rindo really wished that he had a mask to match this suit. Then again, a matching mask would have probably cost Rindo half a million yen. But he did have the Tonberry gloves on, because red and green were Christmas colors. Also because he was not dealing with frigid skin on his bare hands.
Plus it made it easier to hold Fret's hand for longer, as they admired all the lights woven through each tree. They could even see the Tokyo Tower in the distance, trussed up in bright red illumination. That wasn't even counting the store displays, though neither of them really had money to spend after already buying presents for each other.
That being said, it sure was a relief to get back inside a heated building to pick up their food. And even more of a relief when they didn't have to waste much time waiting for their food. Slightly less of a relief when they had to go back into that beautiful cold so soon. Man, this suit didn't keep him warm at all. And it was surprisingly uncomfortable to wear for long periods. And he didn't want to get food stains on it either. "Hey Fret, is it…uh, okay if I change into something else once we get home?"
"Don't dig the ritzy style, huh? Sure thing, my Rindude!"
Once they made it back, Rindo ditched the suit and put on a nice fluffy orange sweater and black sweatpants. Then, because he was still chilly from that long walk, he put on his usual coat as well.
Their KFC meal was good. Especially the shrimp gratin. Fret didn't love the chocolate cake, but he sure loved feeding Rindo spoonfuls. They grabbed some festive strawberry shortcake on the walk back; the one-night only sales sign had caught Fret's eye. Finally, something that went exactly according to plan.
As for what else to do...Uh...
Well the most obvious thing was to just snuggle Fret, and he should do at least some of that...It was Christmas after all. But he...didn't feel ready for that yet.
But maybe he knew how to work up to snuggling. "Hey, wanna...Like, do you have any favorite Christmas episodes from anime? We could watch some of those while we have some hot chocolate."
"Sure! In fact, I know how we can make watching stuff extra fun! How many blankets you guys got?"
"Uh, a lot? Most of them should be in the living room?"
"Perfect! You get the hot chocolate ready, and I'll get stuff ready on my end!"
"Uh, what're you planning to do?"
"Blanket fort!" Fret happily declared. "For that extra cozy atmosphere! I used to do it all the time as a kid!"
"Huh, I've never actually done one," said Rindo. "Okay, just be careful. I don't want anything getting wrecked."
"Sure thing, Rindude!"
By the time Rindo got done with the hot chocolate, the blanket fort was complete, with Fret cheerfully curled up inside waiting for Rindo.
"Whatcha think?" asked Fret.
It did look cozy. It kinda looked like a tent for a camping trip, only they didn't have to worry about wet leaves or hungry bears here. "Nice." Rindo paused. "Though I think we should drink the hot chocolate before we go into the blanket fort. In case something spills."
"Fair enough, yeah."
So, finally, after drinking the hot chocolate, setting up the internet on the TV, and turning off the lights, they could finally start watching stuff. Rindo made sure that they weren't sitting too close together, but close enough that Rindo could easily scoot over when he had finally mustered up enough courage for cuddles.
Like most of their times watching stuff together, what they felt like watching shifted over time. They started with old favorite Christmas episodes, which led to meme videos about said episodes, which led to general Christmas meme videos, which led to joke dubs over American Christmas things, like a cranky green man or a trippy felt-clay-deer thing.
And something about an angel giving a man a second chance at life after getting hit by a truck? Only for the guy to decide that the isekai world looked better and turn the angel down.
"Where's that from?" asked Fret. "I dunno if I know that movie."
"I'm not sure either. Lemme check..."
And so that led to a rabbit hole of searching for that movie. After forever they finally found the name. Something called It's a Wonderful Life. Huh. The reviews seem to be pretty good. Apparently it was moving and inspiring and helped people appreciate life? Funny how Rindo hadn't heard of it until now.
"Oh, is this that one movie that made that one Japanese game change its name? 'Cause of copyright in America or something?" Fret hummed. "You know, this movie might actually be fun? Wanna watch it?"
"Sure, why not?"
So after another rabbit hole of trying to find a place to stream the film, they finally got to watch the movie they had only seen in a random joke dub, and...
Man, this movie was so dull. Just some business guy going on and on about business things or whatever.
Rindo noticed Fret starting to nod off, while trying very hard to not lean against Rindo and use him as a pillow.
Hmm...Maybe...
Rindo draped a couple of extra blankets around Fret, and then tugged him close to his chest without touching any bare skin. Fret could probably barely feel the hug through all the blankets, but...
But Fret smiled so brightly, as he wiggled into a more comfortable position, tucking his head against Rindo's shoulder.
"Love you...Just lemme know if it gets to be too much for you, buddy..."
"Don't worry, I will. I think the extra blankets should help. Though if you get too hot, please tell me."
"Okay..."
Surprisingly, Fret did not instantly drift off to sleep like Rindo expected him to. He sleepily mumbled his opinions on the movie, which mostly consisted of "too long" and "too boring".
But then the main character fell into despair as his life fell apart around him, a despair so deep that an angel had appeared to prevent him from...
"...Didn't know that was why the whole...'life without you in it' was..." Fret muttered drowsily. But he didn't say anything after that, and soon all Rindo heard were soft snores.
Ha, so Rindo had outlasted him after all.
And Rindo kinda envied him. This movie...He got what this movie was trying to go for, but all he could think of was when he was missing several people from his life, including Fret, erased from existence without a trace. Leaving only Rindo and his miserable regrets...
Rindo turned off the movie.
Rindo felt Fret wriggle in his arms. Proof that Fret was, in fact, here.
Fret was wriggling a lot actually. Was he getting too warm? Rindo peeled off a couple of the blankets.
It didn't seem to help much though. Fret still squirmed. In fact, he seemed to be squirming more, like he was trying to free himself of the blankets and Rindo altogether.
Rindo loosened both his arms and the blanket. Well, maybe even Fret didn't want to be held for—
Only for Fret to curl up against him tighter, one hand snaking out of the blanket and clamping onto Rindo's bare wrist. Clattering his teeth. Sweating and shivering. Pinching his eyes shut. Muttering something desperately under his breath.
Oh, Fret was having a nightmare! Rindo tried to ignore the intense prickling of his wrist as he shook Fret's shoulder with his free hand. "Hey, hey Fret, wake up. It's okay! You're just dreaming. Hey!"
But Fret only clung to him more, whimpering, his face burying itself into the crook of Rindo's neck. "Don't...don't go..."
"Fret!" It was his nerves as much as his concern that made him shout.
Fret's eyes snapped open. "Huh?" For a bit, he just blinked in confusion at Rindo, frozen in place. "Rindude?" His body relaxed against Rindo's, before he finally seemed to fully process what he was doing and shot straight up. "Shit! S-S-Sorry!"
"It's...It's okay..." said Rindo, though finally having space between them again was a relief. "You were having a nightmare. It wasn't like you meant to do that."
"Y-Yeah, but still..." Fret's feeble chuckle twisted something in Rindo's chest. "Man, imagine being held by your boyfriend and still having nightmares. How lame is that?" He let out a tired, disappointed sigh.
"Fret, you've been through a lot. We all have," said Rindo. "And it's not the kind of stuff that just heals overnight. It's gonna take us all time to really process everything, and that's okay."
Fret barked out a surprisingly bitter laugh. "And what if some stuff just never gets better, ever? Even after years of nightmares?" His sour smile soon gave way to sadness. "Everyone says that I just need to heal, but I'm not sure if I know how to heal. If I ever knew how to heal. Not like I can just tap a pin and fix myself like during the Game."
"Fret..."
"...Rindo, can you...?" His hand was already reaching out for Rindo's.
But Rindo's hand, still overwhelmed by all the previous sudden contact, automatically jerked away.
They drifted in awkward frozen silence for a moment. Then Fret giggled weakly, tucking his hand back under his blanket. "Sorry. Sorry I'm so...clingy..."
Shit. "Fret, you're not...I'm just...I love you."
Fret's smile was so faint it barely even reached his cheeks. "I know, buddy, I know. Love you lots."
Rindo had to do more than just say sweet nothings to Fret though. If he couldn't handle touch...Uh, what were some of the things he'd seen his parents do before? Um, sometimes his dad draped his coat over his mom if it was cold. Maybe something like that? Oh, maybe if he...
Slipping off his coat, Rindo wrapped the sleeves around Fret's chest, twisted the coat arms together, and then pulled them snug. "H-How's that? Does that at least sorta feel like a hug? And you can, um, keep it on as long as you like."
"Aww Rindude." Fret's smile was so warm as he looked down at the coat arms holding him. "This is...really nice actually. Thanks. Though aren't you gonna get cold without your jacket?"
"Eh, we've got plenty of blankets around. I'll just use a couple of those," said Rindo. "So, um, is there anything else you need?"
"Hmm...maybe an extra blanket and a ...pillow to hold?" Fret seemed a little embarrassed about asking. "I find that helps me feel better when I'm...like this."
"Okay. No problem. I'll go—I'll go get that stuff."
A couple minutes later Rindo gave the pillow to Fret, who pressed it tight to his torso with both arms. Then Rindo tucked the extra blanket around Fret.
"That work?"
"Yeah. Thanks," said Fret. "S-Sorry about being so...extra."
"Don't worry, you're fine," said Rindo, sitting next to Fret and wrapping the extra blankets around himself.
Fret simply nodded at the floor.
"You're not a bad person for, like, wanting physical contact," Rindo went on. "That's normal. I'm the one who—"
"And you're not a bad person for not wanting physical contact," Fret interrupted. "We've been over this, Rindude. I'd still love you and would be with you even if I never got to touch you again."
"But you being touch-starved isn't healthy either," said Rindo. "In fact I read that you should see a doctor if you feel touch-starved for more than two weeks and—"
Fret snorted. "Rookie numbers. But I'm still here. Don't believe everything you read online, buddy. Being touch-starved isn't like having cancer or something."
Rindo frowned. "But it can be bad for your physical and mental health overall."
"Didja consult an actual doc about that? Or is that more online jargon?"
Rindo grunted in annoyance "...Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know what's really true or not about being touch-starved. I'm not the touch-starved guy here, after all. So lemme rephrase this: Do you feel touch-starved? And if you do, is there anything I can do to help when I can't touch you directly?"
Fret was quiet for a while. "I mean, I do kinda feel like...like I always need more touch and hugs and stuff, no matter how many I get. But I've kinda always been like that? It's not happening because you specifically aren't touching me. Though it is extra nice whenever we can...B-But only when you can handle it! To be clear!"
Rindo nodded. "Of course."
"A-Anyway, asking me if I get enough hugs is like asking me if I get enough clothes. Technically yes, very yes, but I always want more, y'know? I'm greedy like that." He giggled anxiously. "So don't feel like you gotta hug me all the time just to make me crave less hugs or whatever, 'cause uh, that's never gonna work. Just like you're never gonna magically get over your touch aversion if I give you more hugs, right?"
"Yeah..." said Rindo. "I just...If you want a hug or something, then please just ask me. I can't promise that I always can hug you back, but I'll at least, like, wrap my coat around you. You know me, I always have at least one coat on."
"Heh, true," said Fret. "And the coat thing does feel kinda like a hug, especially since it's all warm from you wearing it. So...Yeah, I think that'll work! If I absolutely, positively need a hug because I feel awful or whatever, then I'll just ask!"
"It doesn't have to be an emergency, Fret," said Rindo. "I don't want it to always be an emergency. I want us to be able to touch and hug or whatever, and for you to be able to enjoy it. Not feeling sad or guilty or just...feeling like you can't have a hug for the sake of having a hug."
Fret stared at Rindo for a bit, like he had just seen him for the first time in twenty years, before he buried his face in his blanket, Either trying to hide a blush or tears, maybe even both. "Nawwww...Y-You're the best. You know that right?"
Rindo smiled. "I'm only the best because I'm with the best."
Fret laughed. "So, uh, whatcha wanna do now? I don't think either of us is really feeling that Wonderful Life movie, so..."
"Wanna scroll through memes and see who falls asleep first?"
Fret gave Rindo a sly grin. "Oh I'm definitely outlasting you this time, buddy."
It didn't matter. They had both peacefully fallen asleep within the hour.
IIIIII
"Kweh? Whaddaya mean that the new Chocobo can't be caught unless you literally go to Brazil?" Fret whined, rubbing his Chocobo scarf between his fingers. "Seriously, what's the point in that?"
Rindo tucked his own Chocobo scarf closer to his face. "Trying to promote trading with players in other countries I guess?" Sadly it wasn't the first time summons were exclusive to countries, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. Even though everyone hated these kinds of events.
"But what if I don't know anyone in Brazil?" Fret continued to grumble. "Aw man, now I'll never have a complete Chocobo collection unless a plane ticket falls in my lap."
"Rhyme could probably hack you one." said Rindo.
"But it wouldn't be the saaaaame." After slumping back and groaning, Fret glanced at Rindo. "Hug?"
Rindo nodded, extending his arms. "Hug."
Fret's previous melodramatic attitude melted away as he scampered over to Rindo, arms also outstretched.
The embrace was very light and brief. But afterward Rindo took off his jacket and tied it around Fret's chest. "Better?"
Fret beamed. "Better!" He snorted. "Of course you have two coats on now."
Rindo smirked. "Hey, 'tis the season, right? And if I do somehow get too hot, I'll just wrap the extra coat around you, and then you get a coat hug for free. Win-win, right?"
Fret grinned. "Oh, you bet! Never happier to be my Rindude's personal coat hanger!"
Then they went on their way to the next store. The new year was approaching, but Rindo and Fret already had a fresh start.
I wanted to write something really sweet and fluffy, while also addressing both Rindo and Fret's different needs. I wanted to make it clear that neither is wrong for being the way they are, and can work out solutions/compromises that are fair for both of them. It's a tricky work in progress, but they're getting there. Also awkward dating shenanigans are always fun.
Also, nothing against It's a Wonderful Life movie itself. It just struck me as a movie that would hit a sour note with both Rindo and Fret, though for different reasons.
Merry (late) Christmas, and (early) Happy New Year!