Author's Note: Merry Christmas, readers! I just want to say thank you for checking out my work/s, and for leaving such great comments and reviews. As of now, I'm busy with work and the holidays. Been driving around most of the day and unfortunately, I couldn't maintain updating every day. However, this is not a sign that I will discontinue this. Believe me, even if no one reads this, I still enjoy writing about Ryoma and Sakuno's mundane but magical life because not only does it help my mental health, but it also boosts my imagination. It's just that, all of the chapters that I had written even before I published this story has all been uploaded now. So, you may have noticed that I only upload after two or three days... or more... which gives me just two to three hours in those days to write. But rest assured, I am doing my best to give you the best, lol. I have a structure of the story in my phone if anyone is wondering if I'm writing aimlessly. I already have the second part in the works!

Anyway, thank you for being interested in this story's slow-paced style. I kind of want it to be as realistic as possible, and not too cringey. I'm not sure if I wrote it well or not, but there. Just want to talk because after thirty chapters (since I miraculously did 30 chaps), I have never put any author's note. I'm actually scared of putting a note. I don't know why but my anxiety was nagging me. But well, I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holidays. :)

Also, I want to mention something about the Chinese friends. I have a deep attraction with these characters since I watched 'Run for Young' a Chinese tv drama. They were adorable! So, if anyone is annoyed by them, sorry! But I liked them, hehe. I just want Ryoma to have different friends whom he felt comfortable to show a different side of him. So, go and watch it. They had the most solid friendships I have ever come to know.

I'm also liking how the two lovebirds are trying to juggle work and relationships. It only seemed relatable, little bits of the story were actually based on a true story, I won't say whose life, but well...

Well, then. I will do my best to return to updating every day.

-xoxoxo-

Chapter 30: Anxiety

"I really think you should go out with her. I mean, it was obvious she likes you, Tujun," Anran said in a teasing voice.

"Yeah, you should just get it over with, man," Jiao sipped on her iced tea while they hung out on Anran's father's shop. It was the usual afternoon for the three friends. Getting together at the same familiar place and talking about trivial things going on in their lives.

"Guys, come on. I'm not that easy to get–" he noticed the two women's knowing glance and continued, "...anymore. But okay, suppose I go out with this girl. I would have to give all my time to her, that means I don't get to be with you guys anymore!"

Anran pouted.

"Don't worry. We're used to it by now. I mean, Ryoma-ge left us without even a letter,"

All of a sudden, the atmosphere became heavy. Jiao sighed heavily as she recalled the time, they finally visited Ryoma's apartment after three days that he hadn't shown up to the shop. His place was clean, although a few of his things were left. They tried to find something that he must have left, a message, or something. But there was nothing.

To be honest, it made them feel angry, bitter, and lonely. But there was nothing they could do. Even if there was a phone in their town, nobody knew Ryoma's number, or his address. They only knew that he lived in Japan, but other than that, he was a closed book.

"Do you think he's going to come back?" Jiao asked the two.

"I don't know…" Tujun sniffed. He was the closest to Ryoma that he treated him like a real brother. When he suddenly left, Tujun was the most upset among them, and until now, he still hoped that Ryoma would come back, at least for a day.

"I miss him," Anran muttered. She wiped her cheeks, not allowing her two friends to see her tears. It's true that she had a crush on him, and it was probably just a teenage crush, but the love she felt for him was for life. Even though he only stayed in Lao Gou for three months, with her dad feeding him almost every day, they all treated him like family. That's the way of the people of Lao Gou, after all.

"Remember when he was too drunk that he tried to eat the cactus in his apartment?" Tujun laughed.

"Yeah, he looked funny! When he woke up the next day, his tongue was all scratched up," Jiao added.

"Oh my God, core memory!" Anran snickered at the thought.

"Ah, you're all talking about me, huh?" a voice said when the bell on the door rang. A man wearing a black cap, white shirt, and jeans entered the shop. When Anran, Tujun, and Jiao turned their heads to his direction, they were all shocked that their eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

"R-Ryoma-ge?!"

"Hey," He did his famous smirk, earning excited laughs from his Chinese friends.

They ran to him and tackled him into a hug that they all fell to the floor.

"Ow!"

After their literally painful reunion, Ryoma invited his friends to his old apartment for dinner. He was surprised by how his old place looked. Since he forgot to end his contract with the landlord, Tujun and his friends decided to use it for when they feel like drinking.

"At least, it felt like you were still with us,"

"You make it sound like I'm dead,"

"You were dead to us when you left,"

Ryoma gulped at Jiao's comment. He knew she just likes to speak like a thug, but Ryoma wondered if they really think that. Well, they deserve a proper apology, like Sakuno's suggested.

"Listen, guys. I'm sorry for leaving suddenly. It's just… I was confused, and I couldn't manage my mind well. I just had to return to Japan," Ryoma couldn't look them in the eyes as he tried to explain himself. Truth to be told, he doesn't actually understand his own mind. Spending a year in therapy wasn't enough to let him speak his mind properly. As a boy, he never learned how to. Now that he's an adult, Ryoma wonders if it's too late to adjust.

"Er… I'm sorry."

Anran, Tujun, and Jiao stared at him with judging eyes. They glared at him like he was the evilest thing that walked on Earth.

"Ryoma-ge. It's okay, even if we're mad at you, we forgive you."

"Yeah, even if we were thinking of strangling you right now, we forgive you."

"And even if you feel threatened by our eyes, we forgive you."

"Hehe…" He could only chuckle nervously. Ryoma wasn't sure if they were already drunk or if they're just sadistic like that. But he was relieved that they forgave him. Looks like buying their favorite snack and alcohol wasn't a waste, after all.

The four friends, reunited at last, spent the entire night drinking and telling each other bizarre stories, especially the times Ryoma was absent. As he listened to them, Ryoma felt content with his life that for a moment, he didn't want to leave. But as they grow older, they need to decide and take action for their own future.

"I will resume my career when I get back to America."

"What kind of career?" Tujun asked. They had little to no information about his past.

"Er… yeah. My tennis career,"

Tujun almost choked on his beef jerky.

"You're an athlete? A real, actual athlete?" He held his breath as he waited for Ryoma's confirmation. He, Jiao and Anran were in awe at his revelation. Looking at him now, his muscles were quite toned, and he was skillful in Badminton, too. How come they didn't think about that?

"Yeah, I was. I had to stop because of… some issues. But I think I need to play again," he sipped on his drink, staring at his friend's expressions.

"Oh, so you're not staying…" Anran muttered.

"I'm afraid not," he looked down on his drink, feeling awkward by the atmosphere. He knew that they were sad when he left, and he thought that it was a good idea not to say goodbye. Then, Sakuno just had to make him feel bad about it, so he returned to Lao Gou without any plans in mind.

Still, he was glad he came back.

"It's okay, Ryoma-ge. Work hard for your dreams," Tujun smiled. "We'll do the same, as well."

"And we'll all meet at the top," Jiao said.

It was just one of the moments that he felt that their friendship was perfect. Even if he hurt them deeply, they still understood him and his intentions, that's why he appreciated all of them and he's sure to treasure them forever.

They will meet at the top.

"Thanks, guys." He smiled sweetly that Anran couldn't help but stare. She adored the way his eyes simply smiled with his lips, which is absolutely rare to see. She adored his green locks that shined when he walked under the sun, and even though his skin became tan over the months, he still looked fair.

And most of all, Anran liked how Ryoma seemed so much happier now than before. She guessed that he finally found his happiness.

A ring was heard inside Ryoma's bag. He grabbed it and saw that it was Sakuno calling.

"Excuse me, I need to take this," he left the living room and went into his bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Ryoma-kun!" He heard her jolly voice from the other line. He was instantly sober.

"Ryuzaki," he greeted with a very lively voice. He noticed that he only talks like that to her, and it was weird.

"Did you get to China safely?"

"Yep, I'm here in my old place,"

"Really? Then did you meet up with your friends? Did you greet them properly? You should give something to them as an apology."

Ryoma scowled at his girlfriend. She's treating him like a kid right now and it was annoying to hear.

"Yeah…"

But he couldn't do anything about it.

"Okay! That's good… um… have you had dinner?"

"I'm having dinner with them right now,"

"Oh, okay. I should probably hang up, I shouldn't disturb–"

"Hey, no. Don't. You don't have to hang up," Ryoma turned around and saw his three friends peeking through his door.

"Yeah, jie jie. Don't go!" Tujun exclaimed. Ryoma shot him a glare before covering his phone.

"Hey, go away!" he hissed.

"Eh? Ryoma-kun, is that them?" Sakuno sat up from his bed. She was suddenly excited to hear about them. The only information she had ever gotten from Ryoma was that they are a group of out-of-school youth who always followed him around like chicks.

"Yeah… I don't know how they heard it,"

"We're Ryoma-ge's friends! Nice to meet you, jie jie!"

Ryoma heard Sakuno's laugh. It was the most beautiful, most comforting sound he has ever heard in a while. He sighed and closed the door shut.

He basked in the silence that surrounded the small room, as Sakuno listened to his breathing.

"How come we can't be together?" he suddenly said. Sakuno looked down on her feet while she sat on her bed, picturing Ryoma's pouting face. She liked it when he did that, but tonight, he was genuinely sad.

"R-Ryoma-kun… I promise, we'll see each other soon."

"I know, it's just frustrating. I'm not pressuring you or anything."

"Don't worry, I got it. Enjoy your dinner with friends, and make sure to give them a proper goodbye," she reminded him. Ryoma just nodded, giving her a reassuring grunt.

"I have to go now, Ryoma-kun. Take care of yourself," Sakuno frowned. She gets what Ryoma means when he said that they couldn't be together. Whenever they finally meet, certain circumstances seem to be a hurdle for them. Take her studies for example. When he decided to come back, she was bound to leave the country. That left them little to no time for each other.

It's always bad timing.

"Sakuno," he said. She only rarely hears him say her given name and whenever he does, it sends butterflies to her stomach. She feels as if he was closer to her despite the distance.

"Ryoma-kun," she shyly answered.

"I love you,"

She tried to compose herself, since hearing him say those three beautiful words were like feathers to her ears. She tried to act normal and stop herself from rolling on her bed.

It was bizarre to think that her middle school crush loves her now.

"I-I love you even more!"

She heard Ryoma chuckle.

"So competitive."

"Hehe…"

"Bye,"

"Goodbye,"

He ended the call. When Ryoma returned to the living room, all three of her friends were smiling at him.

"What?"

"Can you show us a picture of your girlfriend?" Tujun requested excitedly.

"No," but Ryoma flat out rejected him. He wouldn't want them to start drooling over Sakuno's photos. Moreover, he wants himself to keep her cute photos to himself, no one else.

"Oh, come on! If I had a boyfriend, I would show him to all of you in a heartbeat!" Jiao whined.

"But you don't," the prince harshly said.

"She was beautiful," Anran suddenly uttered. Ryoma turned his head at her curiously. He wondered if she even knew what Sakuno looked like or if she's just used to complimenting people all the same?

Well, whatever. He agrees with her.

"Yeah, she is," Ryoma unknowingly smiles as the thought of Sakuno crosses his mind. Anran only looked at him, realizing that he really did find his way back to happiness. He's noticeably happier than ever.

She felt genuinely happy for him, and these feelings of hers, whether it's admiration, crush, or even love, it didn't need to be said. She looked forward to her own path to the future, where she would create her own dream, and someday fall in love much like this, to someone who can be with her.

As Ryoma bid them farewell the next day, she hoped that her older brother would one day visit them again, and they will all spend time together, just like old times.

As he sat in the airplane with his thoughts alone, Ryoma closed his eyes and assessed his situation. Even though his mind was made up about playing again, he realized how the people around him easily affected his decisions, and that he was back to square one. It seemed to them that this is the path that would fit him naturally, and they see no problem with it at all.

Ryoma had long decided that he would not let himself wonder if he wanted it or not, he would just go with the flow, with the natural way of his life. It was crazy to think that a few years ago as a teenager, he was enthusiastic about being a tennis player, nothing negative even crossed his mind. Until what he needed to do and what he wanted to do collided and he realized that he couldn't do it all at the same time.

He still wasn't sure if he would love tennis again if he forced himself into it like this. The same people in his life that pressured him were still the same people who encouraged him, Ryoma wasn't sure if he's happy about it.

All of the uncertainty in his mind was making him uneasy that he needed a drink.

Ryoma pushed the button above and soon; a flight attendant came to him.

"Can I get something to drink? I'm… uh, thirsty."

The man smiled at him before muttering 'right away'. Then, he showed up carrying a trolley full of snacks and different drinks. Ryoma chose to drink something a bit stronger, he needed to fall asleep so he wouldn't think about useless things anymore. He just wanted to silence his mind long enough to forget any lingering troubles.

When Ryoma stepped out of the airport, he didn't miss the familiar image of his brother standing by a taxi, apparently waiting for him. Ryoga had his tennis bag slung on his shoulder.

"Chibisuke!" he waved a hand to the disoriented Ryoma. He felt a little conscious of him yelling that embarrassing nickname, but he brushed it off.

At least he would have someone to train with.

"How was China?" The older man sat inside the cab beside Ryoma.

"Same same," he muttered.

"I still can't believe you went to places without our knowledge. You're too rich for your own good, Ryoma."

"Shut up, I do what I want," The boy merely rolled his eyes on his brother. He recalled the past years he was fresh from therapy, and he boarded countless planes to travel the world alone. He wasn't particularly lonely that time, it's just that… he still wasn't happy.

"Well, then. I prepared a training routine that is specially for quitters who decided to return shamelessly–"

Ryoga noticed the cold glare that Ryoma was throwing at him that he stopped himself from continuing.

"Er– training for you, my little brother!" He awkwardly chuckled watching Ryoma's expression go from irritated to plain bored again. He looked at the window and stared at the scenery.

Before they headed to the training grounds that Ryoga rented, they dropped by their parents' house to say goodbye. Rinko particularly told Ryoga to come before the two siblings went to training.

"Mom, we're home. I just need to get my bag in my room then we'll go," Ryoga trotted into the hallway, leaving Ryoma with Rinko.

"Take all the time you need, honey. I just wish you'd just stay with us." Rinko sighed as she grabbed Ryoma's arm.

"You're back," they turned around and saw Nanjirou by the living room door. He was standing with his hands in his pockets. His eyes reflected uncertainty and sadness; Rinko noticed.

Ryoma only nodded. He suddenly felt awkward with his father avoiding his eyes. He wondered why, but he kind of had a sense that it may have something to do with him returning to the courts.

"Alright, I'm all set. Let's get going, the cab's waiting," they all watched Ryoga drag two duffle bags full of his stuff along the hallway.

"You should have bought a car," Ryoma commented.

"Bah, I don't want to drive you around, Chibisuke," he walked in front of the boy and continued to drag his bags to the cab.

"Well, then," the youngest muttered, wiggling his arm from Rinko. Nanjirou opened his mouth to say something, but he suddenly couldn't think of anything. He certainly didn't want Ryoma to force himself into tennis if it meant he's not happy anymore. Of course, for the longest time, nobody had a clue about his true feelings except for his girlfriend, Sakuno.

"Don't worry about us," he heard Ryoma say. When Nanjirou looked up at him, he had that same, annoying smirk on his face. It would have made Nanjirou pissed off, but he was glad to see his old self again.

He wasn't sure if Ryoma intended to make him feel glad or what, but he was.

He's just happy to see him again.

"Don't stray away again," He cleared his throat, "Or at least tell us before you go."

"Fine," the boy kissed Rinko on her cheek before following his Ryoga out. That day marked the first day Ryoga took charge of Ryoma's training course, preparing him for the next tournament to be held in six months.

Six months in, Sakuno was getting the hang of restaurant life. She would leave her apartment before the sun even sets, then she goes home in the morning. Some days, Sakuno dreaded looking at the mirror because she looked like a zombie. Her eyes had dark bags under it, her hair was even more dry, and she was losing weight! It was alarming that the necklace Ryoma gave her doesn't mean anything anymore.

Six more months, she thought.

Six more months and then she can go back home and start a job. Then she could earn money and someday get married, have children, those kinds of dreams…

"Ryuzaki, focus!" the Head Chef yelled, popping her thought bubble. She hastily ran inside the kitchen and reviewed today's special. She was tasked with waiting tables.

That day, like most days, Ludovic dines in the restaurant and Sakuno almost instantly approaches him. They became close friends as months passed by and it made Sakuno's life easy. She had someone to tutor her about French class and now, she was almost fluent in the language.

"Good evening, Ludovic-san. What can I get you?"

"Bonsoir, Cerize. I'll just start the evening with your finest bottle of wine," he smiled. Sakuno nodded and immediately went into the wine cellar.

As usual, Ludovic had nothing else to do so he would wait for Sakuno to clock out and walk her home. It was comfortable, Sakuno thought. Being friends with a local was one of the advantages she had, and even though she felt a bit guilty for being with Ludovic even though Ryoma specifically said not to, Sakuno reassured herself that this is as far as it will go, they were friends, nothing more.

After all, it's impossible to fall out of love with her boyfriend.

"You're thinking about him again, Cerize," Ludovic pointed at Sakuno's smiling face as they walked past a large mirror. Sakuno blushed and covered her mouth.

"I-It's not like that,"

"How is he, anyway?" the French man asked.

"He's currently training with his brother in America. He'll get back up on his feet soon enough," Sakuno answered with a confident smile. Six months have passed and the two have maintained their communication with each other. Ryoma has been doing his best with Ryoga, while Sakuno is thriving to finish her internship. Soon, she'll be graduating and Ryoma will be in a tournament as well. Their future looks promising and they were both motivated to keep their momentum going.

"Then what?" She heard Ludovic say.

"What?"

"What are your plans? The two of you," he asked again.

Sakuno thought hard. They had certainly never talked about their future together yet. Of course, she obviously dreamed of being together with Ryoma forever. Those things she had thought of earlier, like getting married and having kids, were all with the image of Ryoma by her side. It was her dream besides being a chef.

Sakuno wants to marry Ryoma when the time comes.

After all, he told her once that he planned to marry her when the right time comes. That alone reassured Sakuno that there is a future with him to look forward to.

Sakuno only turned her head to Ludovic and smiled warmly. She doesn't need to think about it now, Ryoma will definitely come back to her, no doubt.

"Who knows," she said.

Ludovic stared at her carefree image. She really has high hopes for the Japanese brat, he thought. She must really trust him.

"That's good, Cerize. As a friend, I only hope that you would be happy and keep that smile forever," he flashed her a comforting smile and they continued their walk home.

He fell on his knees on the ground, and he was pretty sure that the pebbles scratched his knees, but he didn't care. He only focused on how to catch his breath. The exhaustion from his training was not the reason for his foul mood. Knowing that in six months, he would enter a major tournament with a big crowd, Ryoma didn't know how to control his anxiety attack. While Ryoga went to the convenience store to pick up some drinks, Ryoma stayed behind and tried to calm himself down.

He could imagine the countless cameras pointed at him, the lights were flashing non stop at his face, capturing his every move. Ryoma's chest pounded loudly as if his heart was ready to burst. He wasn't sure if this was a heart attack now, but he was having a hard time breathing.

Ryoma grabbed his bag and hastily rummaged for his phone. His hands were shaking and dialing Sakuno's number was a struggle.

"Ryoma-kun, what's wrong?" Sakuno found it weird that he suddenly called him. It wasn't in his schedule to call her and now that he did, Sakuno's instinct told her that something was wrong

"I don't know," He couldn't explain what he was feeling, it felt like he was almost dying. Sakuno could hear his heavy breathing and it alarmed her. It was different from when he was panting from playing tennis.

"Ryoma-kun, are you having a panic attack right now? You have to let Ryoga-san know so he can help you," Sakuno was at the edge of her seat. It was her lunch break but she suddenly lost her appetite. Ryoma was more important than food.

"He's not here," He inhaled and exhaled, concentrating hard because he feared that he might really have a heart attack now.

"Do you see a paper bag? I need you to breathe using that." She instructed. Ryoma looked around but the ground was clean. His vision was blurry and he was sweating all over his body.

This would be the fifth time he was having a panic attack in six months. It wasn't that bad, but he always called Sakuno every time. For some reason, her voice seemed to calm his nerves. That was how powerful Sakuno is to him right now and she doesn't realize it.

"Ryoma-kun? Please talk to me," He heard her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to hear your voice," he exhaled carefully, as if all of the negativity in his body was escaping out of him. He tried to remind himself that the tournament is no big deal, just like all the other ones he participated in for the past years. Being on a break for years was no big deal, right? He can do this, He can face the crowd with the same indifference.

"Thank goodness… Please take a rest for today, let Ryoga-san know. Your mental health is the most important thing right now," Sakuno stepped out of the restaurant and hid behind the building since it was quieter there.

"Thanks, Sakuno." She heard him say. It instantly made her heart relax as well. Since there's still six months before she could go home, Sakuno did her best to keep talking to Ryoma about things, and he knew that he was doing the same. It helped them overcome lots of issues of being apart, including loneliness.

"Break is almost over, I need to get back inside. You're going to rest now, right?" she asked him.

"Yeah… Saku–" he answered. Before Ryoma could ask her if she ever rests, the call ended. His heart sank a bit, but he understood her busy schedule. He felt a little guilty for calling her on her break time, she must have not eaten yet.

Ryoma swore to himself that he will make it up to her when they finally go home. For now, he decided to send her a text message.

On Sakuno's part, it was difficult to maintain her relationship with someone who was a flight risk. He would call her in between her shifts about things that bothered him. It was a good thing that Ryoma wanted to talk to her and share his thoughts, it's just that she might have been neglecting her own health and of course, it was affecting her career sometimes. She admits that it was getting harder and harder on her.

Sakuno's phone beeped and before she left it in her locker, she read it.

Thank you, I love you.

-Ryoma

But all she needed was time management, and better eating habits. Because even before, Sakuno knew that Ryoma was the most important person in her life.

Sakuno composed a reply.

I promise, it will get easier.

I love you very much.

-Sakuno

To be continued.