This is a better written 60th anniversary than the Star Beast by Russel T Davis. There is no diversity hires, no race bent Issac Newton, no Biregeneration. Just a actual celebration of the past without politics or anything. Starring Bowlestrek as the Doctor in the best multi Doctor story of the century (that's this one if you're wondering).

The Kennedy Plot by me BojackFan

"Chinballs! Chinballs!" laughed some school yard bullies as they beat up a speckled wearing nine year old boy. "Doctor Who is so lame" they laughed, flushing the boys head down the toilet.

The boy, Chibnall cried, "I hate Doctor Who noww" he cried, vowing to complain about Trial of a Timelord in Ten years time to Pip and Jane Baker as vengeance for his bullies bullying him for liking such a lame show.

Meanwhile, 16 years earlier, the Doctor and Dixie were travelling to Dallas Texas. "Why ah we headin here Doctor?" asked Dixie, "That idiot baby, Chinballs plans to destroy Doctor Who because he was bullied for liking it. As it was a lame show. In order to prevent Chinballs from killing the show, we musht go back in time and stop the Kennady Assassiation so mor People will watch An Uneatrthly Chilld instead of the John F Kanedy Assassination. And realise that Doctor Who isn't lame and is actully cool". "Thats a fuckin cool idea Doctor" said Dixie, as they landed the Tardis in the Texas School Book Suppository where Lee Harvey Oswald was getting ready to kill JFK.

"GOOD GOD HES JUST ABOUT TO DO IT! QUICKLY DIXIE STOP HIM!" The Doftor yelled as Dixie epically karate kicked Lee Harvey Oswalds head in before grabbing his balls and kicking them as well.

Suddenly a man smoking a cigar walked out of the shadows, it was the cigarette smoking man, it was Fidael Castro. "What the fuck are you waiting for do it now" yelled Fido Castro, "THAT BASTARD MUST FUCKING PAY FOR THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS!"

"CASTRO! I KNEW YOU COMMIE BASTARDS WERE BEHIND THIS" yelled the Doctor.

"Castro? No comrade, the real mastermind behind this assassination is us. The Soviets" laughed Khrushchev.

"I KNEW IT!, IT WAS THE EVIL SJW COMMUNISTS"

"You got me" laughed another man from the shadows. It was the master of exposition, it was Chinballs. "I shall kill the real JFK and replace him with a diversity hire just like I did with Issac Newton. So every historical character will be a diversity hire and that'll destabilise the timeline causing Gallifrey to explode BWAHAHAABAHAHA!". "NO! YOU CANT CHINBALLS! YOU GODDAMN FUCKING CANT! YOU'LL DESTROY THE CANON FOREVER!", "I don't care" laughed Chinballs.

"ChiNballs was a false flag operation" said another man from the shadows. "It was actually us Anti Communists who are behind the Kenady assaissation" laughed David Ferrie. "My buddies here dressed up as Fidel Castration and Khrushchev to fool the public into thinking the Soviets killed JFK. So then our country will go to war with Cuba and Reussia and fucking kill that fuck Fideo Castro and destroy communisim" he laughed.

"Wait.. but what about Jack Ruby" asked The DOCTOR.

"You got me" said Jack Ruby FROM out of thr shawodws, "The Mafia hired me to hire a bunch of people to kill Kannady", "Fucking Why the Fuck DOES THE MAFIA WANT TO FUCKING KILL JUN F KAENNADY!" Shouted the Zoctor. "Because Kennery pissed the Cuybans off, and forced the Mafias casinos out of Cuba. So he lost them like bikloions of dollars, so they want to fucking kill him" Jack Ruby said while saxxing a Hooker.

"Actually, it was the CIA all along" laughed Allen Dulles from out of the shadows. "I want Jon F KaneDay Dead becuase he fired me for ruining the Bay of Pigs incident. So me and my CIA buddies hired the Cubans, the Soviets, the Anti Cubans, and the Mafia to assassinate JFK. But now it's ruined and it's all thx to you Doctor"

Suddenly Lee Harvey Lee Oswald pulled off his Mask, and revealed himself to be Clara Lee Oswald. "Clara? WHY!" Screamed the Doctor.

"Don't you see Doctor, for all the pain and suffering you put me through. I will kill John F Kennady and destroy Doctor Who. I didn't ask you to take me into the Tardis, but you did, and now I am immortal. And you go crazy after an eternity of living. I did everything ever possible, I saxxed everyone ever possible, and that drove me insane. So now I'm a psychotic Abzorbaloff vore loving monster. Are you happy that you did this to me Doctor?" The Doctor had a expression of shame. "Anyway, if there's one thing I haven't done before it's killing JFK. So this is gonna be fun" giggled Clara.

"Don't worry, his car has circled back around and I can fucking kill him again" said Clara Lee Harvey Oswin Oswald. "Yes let's fukcing do it" laughed Jack Ruby.

"NOOOOO SCREAMED THE DOCTOR! MEEP THE BEEP FUCKING DO SOMETHING" he shouted as Castro, Khrushchev, David Ferrie, Jack Ruby, and a hooker held him down.

"Actually" laughed Meep the Beep, "DEAR GOD NOT YOU TOO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL" cried The Doctor.

"Now" laughed Clara, "You must find out who is behind me killing JFK or he'll die now".

The Doctor thought for a second, but then suddenly Dixie Anarchy who wasn't tied up beat up Clara Oswald. Then UNIT and Brigadier and Joy Grunt, and the Third Doctor drove Bessie into the Book Suppository and beat up everyone else.

"YES! Y'all saved JFK from getting his brains blown out" celebrated Dixie Anarchy.

"Goodbye, it's been so nice to meet me" said the Third Doctor to the Bowlestrek Doctor who told his past self to fuck off.

Then the Doctor and Dixie went back to 2023, and JFK wasn't dead. There was no Vietnam War, no 9/11, but unfortunately Kennedy Camps were everywhere. And people were being gassed alive. But Dixie Anerxhy was still governor. So things were fine.

"How did they stop the Assassination of JFK, that's a fixed point in time" cried Clara, "What they don't know, is that I am behind everything" laughed the Meddling Monk.

Dedicated to the late Peter Capaldi