One-Shot: Metamorphagus Mistletoe
Hermione burst into the attic room at the Burrow, slamming the door behind her and bolting it. It was the highest in this house that she could go, the better to breathe clean air…
… and the farthest she could away from him, at least for tonight.
Her eyes were attempting to banish the horrid sight, yet they could not. She had just opened the broom cupboard, to retrieve something innocuous for her mother-in-law that she had long since forgotten, only to walk right into the middle of her soon-to-ex-husband balls-deep inside Romilda Vane.
Romilda Vane! No doubt when she told Harry, her brother-in-law would find the humor of an in-joke in it, even as he attempted to show consolation and solidarity with her.
Hermione knew that the divorce was going to be finalized in short order. Her marriage was over, and all that was left was to get through this last holiday. But couldn't Ron have had the decency to wait until they were both free before hunting for his next wench?
She jerked, starting, not wanting to include herself in that rather blanket statement. Her husband, the father of their children, had been with… now three women in his life, that she knew of. And Hermione also knew that of those three, she was the finest one Ron had ever been or ever would be with, compared to Vane. And Lavender Brown, may she rest in peace.
"Didn't ruddy need Christmas to come early this year, what with birds rushing into my room. I could have waited a little longer."
Hermione jumped, glancing up and gaping: there was Teddy Lupin, standing by the eaved attic window and studying her curiously. A handsome youth of 25, Harry's godson had his hair set in its signature blue color, no doubt in the spirit of the Christmas season.
"Teddy…" Hermione sighed, wiping at her eyes too late, embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I forgot this was your room."
Teddy shrugged. "If you came up to fetch me, I promise I'll come down and read to the little ones soon."
Hermione smirked weakly, amused. "Hugo's 16, Ted: he's too old to be read to."
"Ah, yes. Blimey. I'd forgotten."
Hermione glanced down at her high heels; feeling how they pinched, she stepped out of them.
"…. seen Uncle Ron yet?"
She glanced up in mortified surprise. "Have you?"
Teddy's wince was all the answer she needed. "How anyone could have fun of any sort with that cow Vane is beyond me. It must take a pretty pathetic person indeed to earn a harsh word from Auntie Luna. I know for a fact that Ron should and does have much higher standards. Bastard barked at me to get out."
For some reason, Hermione blushed, though mostly out of embarrassment on her spouse's behalf. "Sorry. Ronald can be a bit gruff when he's inebriated." She was already feeling a bit drunk herself - and, after what she just saw, expected and needed to be even more plastered before the night was through.
Teddy snorted. "Or randy." They both shared a chuckle at this.
"You know…." Teddy said after a silence. "Sometimes, a person we love… can't see past the end of his nose."
Hermione recognized the line: it was from Mary Poppins, one of her favorite Muggle movies; she'd made Ron and the kids watch it. She was touched that Teddy knew it. Moreover, she appreciated that he was sensitive enough to drop one key part: the line actually was, Sometimes, a person we love, through no fault of his own, can't see past the end of his nose. Ron was far from faultless at the moment.
Glancing up, she blasted out a bark of shocked laughter at the sight of Teddy, now sporting a duck's bill. The cheeky lad even quacked, for her benefit.
"Now don't you take no notice of the likes of him, Hermione - just because you've got manners and he ain't!" From the quacking, Teddy's voice was pinched off, as if he had a cold. "Men can be such…. Pigs…" With that, his Metamorphagus skills kicked in, and he had changed his bill for a pig's snout.
He couldn't have known - or maybe he did - how his late mother used to play games just like this to make Hermione and Ginny laugh when they were young girls.
"Don't - Don't let your godfather see that! It'll get him launching right into the story about how Hagrid once gave his cousin a pig's tail!" Hermione shrieked with mirth, holding her sides from laughter, the smile nearly breaking her face.
Teddy changed back, triumphant, his grin pleased. Within a second, the snout was back, briefly, eliciting from her another giggle. Hermione laughed, even through the lingering tears in her eyes.
"Oh, Teddy… Thank you!"
Suddenly, she had surged across the room and pressed her lips to his snout.
She felt his breath hitch. Heard the sucking sound of his nose changing back. When Hermione opened her eyes, Teddy was staring at her, his cheeks rosy pink.
His deep, blue eyes now shifted up, towards the rafters.
"Mistletoe…."
Hermione followed Teddy's gaze: there was indeed a sprig of mistletoe hanging in the rafters. Glancing back down to the young man across from her, Hermione felt her own cheeks flush at the intensity of his gaze.
"You know, Auntie Luna says that nargles burrow in mistletoe. They like to put mad, foolish thoughts in your head."
Hermione felt the flush move down to her chest. Her head was spinning, and she told herself it was the whiskey. The laughter and warmth this sensitive lad had brought her so generously. Or maybe it was the nargles putting thoughts in her head and she was mad enough that she wanted to…
"Oh, they do, do they….?" With that, Hermione curled a palm around the back of Teddy's neck and brought his mouth hungrily down to hers. She kissed him thoroughly. Snogged him like a lovestruck sixth year.
She let out a gasp, and then a moan, as, after a moment of growing stiff in her embrace, she felt Teddy's burly arms steal about her waist as he began to kiss her back.
Logic that had always served Hermione so well pierced through the fog in her brain, and now she squeaked, backing out of the kiss with her jaw dropped in mortification.
"Merlin, Ted, I'm… I'm so sorry! That was out of line…" She wondered if she still had time to chalk it up as following holiday tradition, to kiss under the mistletoe.
She sucked in another astonished breath as Teddy's large hands braced her hips and pulled her close. "Don't apologize."
She nodded dumbly, her chocolate brown orbs growing lidded with want.
Leaning in, Hermione and Teddy let their lips meet. They kissed tentatively.
They were both shocked by how quickly and fiercely the kiss deepened. The couple embraced, their arms winding about each other and clasping each other close. Teddy's fingers wove and tangled into Hermione's chestnut curls, practically disappearing into the strands.
"Mmmmhmmmm…." Hermione moaned, opening her mouth to Teddy's and coaxing his tongue inside to dance and play with hers.
She was aroused by how the boy clearly knew how to kiss. He must have learned from….
"Mmm… wait! Wait…" Hermione leaned back out of the liplock, her palms resting along Teddy's forearms. "What about Victoire?"
"Hadn't you heard? We broke up last week."
Hermione smiled sadly. "No wonder you were hiding. Molly was starting to think about wedding plans. Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry…"
Teddy froze her with his stare. "I'm not. Maybe before long, I'll find someone else to marry…"
Hermione's eyes expanded. She let out a disbelieving giggle. He wasn't seriously suggesting that…?
But then Teddy kissed her again and she melted, snogging him back.
They both staggered back, out from under the mistletoe, stumbling towards the bed in one corner. Sensing this, Hermione trembled in Teddy's arms as she knew exactly what he was doing. What even were they doing? Were they really going to….? They couldn't possibly…
"Our - our family!" She yelped, imploring him to see reason even as she bared the soft and creamy curve neck to his lips' worship. "You know our family would never forgive us if we… Hmmm…."
He kissed her again and she let him as they both swooned back onto his bed and the mattress caught them. "Don't care," Teddy grunted. "After the night you've had, you shouldn't either."
And with that, Hermione made her impulsive decision. It was crazy, it was mad, she was technically still married….!
…. But her almost ex-husband was downstairs shagging a Ravenclaw slut in a broom cupboard. Why shouldn't she get back at him by enjoying some foreplay and shagging of her own.
Gazing at Teddy, Hermione gulped. Slowly, she spread her legs for him.
Teddy scrabbled at the belt buckle of his trousers. He mounted and mated with her. The feeling of such a strong and virulent youth inside her made Hermione arch her back with a moan.
Thrusting against each other, they had sex, letting the creaks of the bedspread, multiple floors and the noises of the party below mask the sighs, groans, grunts and shouts of them mating.
"Huhhh…. Uhhhh…. UGGHHH! Ahhhhh… Ermmmm…. Hmmmm…. Mmmmm….."