AN: Hi all! Here we go with a new WIP story. I have 4 chapters completed and looking for some feedback before I invest more time in it. You can let me know by leaving a review or following the story. For those of you reading Lost Souls of Nott Castle, it will continue to update weekly until finished.
This story is about healing and moving on. It's about friendship, trust, redemption and love.
Synopsis - Draco is ordered to return to Hogwarts to complete his education. His plan - keep his head down, keep his mouth shut, and get through the year as quietly as possible. That plan backfires as soon as it starts. "Don't hide." She said. "Stand out. Let them remember you for who you are rather than who you used to be."
Disclaimer – I do not own HP or the characters. Those are JKR's. The storyline, however, is mine.
Rating – The Girl With the Pheonix Tattoo is rated M for language, violence, and sex. There will also be mentions of non/con (rape). Be warned now, if that kind of thing bothers you, please don't read. I will not post trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter. Also, if you are under 18 go away. This story isn't for you.
Characters – This is a Dramione story told from Draco's point of view (for now). There will be a few OC's. And probably some Harry and Ron bashing.
Timing - This is an eighth year fic. Mostly cannon through Deathly Hallows with slight modifications. EWE, of course.
Reviews – I love reviews, but I understand why readers don't leave them. I read all my reviews, but will probably only reply if you ask me a direct question. That said, it is always nerve wracking to send a new plot bunny out into the fanfic world without knowing how it will be received. Your feedback is much appreciated.
Posting schedule - I hate posting schedules. My aim will be to update every other Wednesday. I make no promises though.
Thank you all for reading!
The Girl with the Phoenix Tattoo
{ 1 }
Platform nine and three quarters was once again a bustling collection of families and students that were excited to return to Hogwarts. The war was over. Life was returning to normal, faster for some than for others.
"It's like the last two years never happened." Blaise scoffed.
We stood along the brick wall, Blaise and I, watching as classmates loaded their trunks on the train, hugged their parents and siblings good-bye, greeted their friends and boarded the Hogwarts Express.
Not a care in the world for any of them. No dark wizard lurking about threatening their families. No Death Eater's in charge at their school this year, either. A return to normalcy, where the worst that could happen is that you could fail a test or lose a quidditch game.
It must be nice to be that carefree in the aftermath of Voldemort's defeat.
My lip curled into a familiar sneer as my gaze landed on the bumbling duo, Potter and Weasley. Of course the whole red-headed brood was there as well. Potter's arm was slung around the girl Weasley and they were smiling and laughing about something inane probably.
I didn't let my eyes linger on them for long. Just past them, though, I finally saw the person I had been looking for. Theo Nott was looking rather lost as his eyes swept across the platform. When his gaze met mine, relief passed over his features for the briefest of moments. He began making his way towards us. A few moments later he leaned against the brick wall next to me and relaxed his stance. He had never been one for crowds, even before the world went to hell in a handbasket.
For everyone else, it may well be a return to normalcy. For the three of us, though, it was anything but. We were not returning to school to finish our education in the hopes of finding excellent careers. We were returning because we had no choice. It was either this or Azkaban. Tough call, that was.
"Pansy and Greg are here," Theo said just loud enough that I could hear him over the cacophony of noise on the platform. "They boarded already."
"Daphne and Tracey as well," I told him. They had gotten here early in an attempt to avoid the current chaos around us.
"Guess we should do the same," Blaise stated. None of us moved, though. There were still too many people standing around. Too many that we would have to pass to get to the train. Including the Weasley brood. No thanks.
"Who is that?" Theo nudged my arm and nodded towards the edge of the platform.
I glanced over quickly, but when my eyes caught on the witch that was obviously in question I found that I could not look away.
Whether consciously or not, the other students and families were giving her a wide berth. It was clear that her entire aura was screaming "back the fuck off" and the masses were only too eager to comply.
She wore clunky black combat boots over skin tight blue jeans that had holes ripped in the knees and hugged the curve of her ass. The shirt she wore was black and form fitting with a low cut v-neck that showcased her ample cleavage. In sprawling silver text across the front it read " You say witch like it's a bad thing."
Her left arm was covered in a colorful tattoo in bright reds, greens and blues. She was standing close enough that I could make out the flames encircling her wrist, and the Phoenix that was rising from the flames, wrapped around her arm and stretching from her wrist to her shoulder.
Her hair was cropped in choppy waves just below chin length. The top of it was pitch black while underneath was a dark cherry red. Her eyes were covered with mirrored sunglasses.
Over her shoulder she had an olive green knapsack that looked just big enough to carry a change of clothes. It had a logo printed on it that I was unfamiliar with, and the letters "U.S.M.C." printed along the seam.
She leaned back against the brick wall and her gaze swept from one end of the platform to the other. I couldn't see her eyes, but I knew exactly when her gaze landed on mine. She held still for a moment, just staring at me as I was staring at her.
Then she tilted her chin up in acknowledgement or greeting. Did I know her? Did she know me? I returned the gesture and she turned away.
There was something familiar about her. About the shape of her face maybe. The way she tossed her hair over her shoulder, as though she expected there to be more of it than there was. The way she confidently strode past the crowd and boarded the train as though she owned the place, paying no mind whatsoever to the stares that followed her.
It reminded me of someone. Someone that I hadn't seen at all yet this morning. Not that I was looking for her.
My eyes darted back to where Potter and Weasley stood. Longbottom had joined them, along with Looney.
The first whistle sounded. Final call to board. One minute warning.
"Right then," I sighed. "Let's get this over with."
I pushed off the wall and crossed the platform. I ignored the stares and the sneers as I boarded the train and started looking for an empty compartment. As soon as I found one, I slid the door open and claimed it as ours. Blaise and Theo followed me inside and sat on the bench across from me.
The Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station, carrying us back to school for the last time. A repeat of our seventh year, since the first run had been shite. My penance for participating in the war. Well, the wrong side of the war anyway.
Bloody hell. This is going to be the longest year ever.
Out the window, I watched the scenery move past as the train chugged along down the tracks, taking us further and further from King's Cross Station and closer to the scene of the battle.
As time dragged on, I started to get more and more restless. Theo and Blaise were debating the Quidditch Cup game that America had won after a twelve hour match with Ireland. None of us had actually seen the match, of course. Our house arrests did not accommodate international travel.
At the halfway point, I couldn't take it anymore. Between their inane chatter and the dread of actually arriving at our destination, I had to get up and move. I slid the compartment door open and moved towards the back of the train. The back half of the last car was an open area. No walls, just a railing around the edge, a roof over top, and a wooden bench in the middle.
Over the years I had always managed to come to this car at least once during each trip. It was my favorite place on the train. An area where I could think. Where I could breathe. Where I could be alone, because there was never anyone else out here. Until today.
Today the girl with the phoenix tattoo stood along the railing. Her elbows rested on the railing with her hands dangling over the back. Her hair blew in the breeze, the shades of black and red dancing together in a mesmerizing effect.
I observed her for a long moment through the glass on the door as I debated my next move. Make myself known and confirm her identity, or return to my compartment?
I hesitated for a few more seconds, took a deep breath, and slid the door open. Her head cocked to the side but she did not turn to see who was invading her space. I crossed the platform and stood next to her, mirroring her stance as I leaned against the railing and watched the scenery as we went past.
Her hand moved. Only then did I realize she had a lit cigarette dangling between her fingers. She lifted it to her lips, took a drag, then blew the smoke out slowly.
"Malfoy." She said, not unkindly.
That's when I knew for certain. My guess at her identity had been correct after all. I let myself smirk in triumph. Got it in one.
"Granger." No malice in my voice. We had gotten past all that. A sort of truce at the end of the battle. A time when emotions were high. A time when I held her in my arms while she cried. Or was it the other way around? Perhaps a little of both.
It was the last time I saw her. Until today.
"What gave me away?" She asked with a bit of humor in her voice.
"Anyone who knows you would figure it out easily enough." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Barely.
She took another drag from her cigarette, snuffed it out on the railing, then flicked it away.
"You might be surprised." She pushed her hair behind her ears. The red and the black contrasting against each other, yet blending together at the same time.
My fingers twitched. How fast would she hex me if I reached over to examine the separation of the two colors? Probably better not to find out.
"It suits you," I say instead as my eyes trail down to the image inked into her skin. The phoenix, rising from the ashes, emerging victorious despite the odds.
She smiled, a full on, radiant smile that lit up her whole face.
"Thanks!" She skimmed her fingers over the skin to push up the sleeve on her shirt, then twisted her arm around to show the full effect of the bird in flight. The design was beautiful, intricate, captivating. My fingers twitched again. What would it feel like? Would it feel like soft feathers and heat from the flames? Or would it merely feel like skin?
The door behind us slid open and a throat cleared. Her shoulders sagged and she sighed. A quick glance behind me showed why. Potter stood awkwardly in the doorway.
"Mione. Can we talk?"
"No." She pulled a box out of her back pocket, flipped the top open and extracted a fresh cigarette. "I'm busy."
She put the box back in her pocket and pulled out her wand.
"What the hell? Are you smoking?" He crossed the platform despite her dismissal. His nose wrinkled up in distaste.
She rolled her eyes. Using her wand, she lit a small flame, cupped her hand around the end, raised the cigarette to her lips and sucked gently until the end glowed red. Then she extinguished the flame and tucked her wand back in her pocket.
Thick silence filled the air between the two of them.
I leaned back against the corner of the railing and waited for the fireworks to start. It was only a matter of time before Potter pushed and she pushed back. If anything, it could prove to be highly entertaining.
"Malfoy. Do you mind?" He glared at me. His meaning was obvious. He wanted me to leave so he could have his little heart to heart, whether she wanted him to or not.
"I do, actually. Granger and I were in the middle of a conversation when you rudely interrupted." I spoke in a bored tone as I crossed my arms over my chest and returned his glare.
His eyebrows rose and he looked back and forth between the two of us.
"Now you're chummy with Malfoy, too? That's perfect. Is there anything else I should know about?"
"You don't need to know anything about me, Harry. Believe it or not, you are not my keeper." Her voice was calm. Her tone was matter-of-fact. It was not an argument, just a statement.
He staggered back a step as though the words themselves wounded him.
"I came out here to apologize," he ground out. "You took us by surprise, that's all."
She appraised him for a long moment as she took a drag from the cigarette and flicked the ash over the rail.
"Fine. You apologized. Was there anything else?"
Potter ran his hand through his hair. He wanted to say something else. Perhaps he thought better of it only because I was still standing there. Regardless, his shoulders slumped and he shook his head.
"No. I'll just...talk to you later." His eyes darted to me, then back to her before he sighed again, turned around and left.
"That was cold, Granger. I didn't think you had it in you." I was impressed, honestly. Whatever Potter had done to piss her off, she wasn't going to let him off easy. That much was pretty clear.
"Whatever, Malfoy." She huffed out a small laugh and resumed her stance leaning against the railing, staring down the tracks behind the train.
The sky had started to darken. We had to be getting close to Hogwarts.
"Are you ready for this?" I don't know what made me ask her. I had been asking myself the same question all day. The answer for me was still a resounding no. I had actually considered taking the six months in Azkaban rather than returning to Hogwarts. I wondered if I could still change my mind or if it was too late at this point in time.
"Wrong question, Malfoy." She smirked at me. I raised my eyebrow and waited for her to continue. She took her time, finishing off the cigarette in her hand and flicking it away before she turned towards me. She took a step closer, standing right in my personal space, then she leaned in so her lips were right by my ear.
"The question is, is Hogwarts ready for me?"
Then she turned and walked away, leaving me standing there by myself. I released a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding and a short laugh to myself.
No. I don't believe that Hogwarts is ready for Hermione Granger. Not at all.
I enjoyed the fresh air for a few more minutes, then I took a deep breath and returned to my compartment. Theo had gone, and in his place I found Tracey and Blaise snogging. She was sitting on his lap and his hand was under her green plaid skirt.
"Please. Don't let me interrupt." I cleared my throat. My eyes might have lingered on her bare thigh and the hint of black lace that I could see under Blaise's hand.
"Feel free to leave again, Mate." He paused long enough to wave towards the door, then captured her lips again. His hand hitched her skirt up even higher. If he kept going, I was going to have a full view of her ass at my disposal.
For her part, she didn't seem to care at all that she was exposing far more of herself than she should be. By the way she moaned when he tilted her head back and sucked on the skin of her throat, I don't think she even realized I was standing there.
With a frustrated growl, I turned and left the compartment. The last thing I want is that image stuck in my head. Especially when I don't have a witch willing to snog me like that.
I started to make my way towards the front of the train, looking for an empty compartment along the way. I did not find one.
I did, however, find Granger sitting in a compartment by herself. I considered going in. There was a time it would have been to mock her for being by herself. Maybe I should do that just for old time's sake? See if I can still get her riled up like I used to...before.
I sighed to myself and kept walking. Nothing is like it was before. Not for me. Not for her. Why is she by herself anyway? Where are those dunderheads she calls friends? Surely she's forgiven Potter already for whatever it was he did earlier.
Speaking of which, several compartments away I found them. Potter, Weasley, the girl Weasley, Longbottom and Looney. The door was open and I heard them before I saw them.
"Honestly, what's she trying to prove anyway?" Weasley whined. "Does she think people will look at her and forget she's the know-it-all that always has her head in a book?"
"All I'm saying is you need to apologize to her for saying she looks like a circus freak." Potter scolded him.
What an idiot. No wonder she refused to talk to him. I shook my head and kept walking, saving that little tidbit for when it might come in handy later on.
I finally found Theo along with Pansy and Greg in the first train car.
"Blaise and Tracey still going at it?" He asked as I sat down next to him.
"Let's just say I cannot unsee what I saw when I went back in that compartment and leave it at that." I rolled my eyes. "You could have warned me."
"You looked pretty cozy with the painted vixen. I didn't want to interrupt." He winked at me. It took me a full thirty seconds to figure out what he was talking about. When it hit me, I couldn't help but laugh.
"What's so funny?" Pansy asked, looking back and forth between the two of us. "What painted vixen?"
"You'll see when we get there. She isn't hard to spot." Theo answered her, then he turned to me. "Is she new? I've never seen her before."
"No, she isn't new." I couldn't help but smirk. As soon as people made the connection and realized who was under that tattoo, the gossip mills were going to go crazy. She knew it, too. Is Hogwarts ready for me?, she had asked.
"You'll figure it out soon enough." I told him with a shrug of my shoulders.
The train slowed down, then lurched to a stop. In the small hallway students jostled each other for the chance to get to the doorway first. You would have thought the train was on fire with the urgency they had to exit. The four of us sat still in our seats until the flurry of activity in the hall had died down. Only then did we stand, extract our robes and leave the compartment.
As I stepped down off the steps and onto the platform, I couldn't help but notice the first years standing in a small huddle at the edge of the lake. Hagrid was instructing them to get into the boats. They looked up at him with such innocence. With awe and adoration.
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Those kids had no idea at all just how lucky they were.
"Alright there, Malfoy?"
Her voice came from beside me. I blinked my eyes several times to focus. Only then did I realize that most of the platform was empty. The boats had already set sail and only one carriage remained.
One carriage that was being pulled by thestrals. For the first time, I could see the monstrous beasts. I imagine more students than not could say the same thing this time around.
"Malfoy?" Concern laced her voice this time. Concern that was sadly misplaced if it was aimed toward me.
"Fine. I'm fine." Only then did I look at her. She had changed into her uniform. Sort of. She still wore the combat boots. Her plaid skirt seemed a little short to be regulation. Her short sleeved blouse was not tucked in and only a few of the buttons were fastened. Her tie was knotted, but loose around her neck.
She cocked her eyebrow and her lip twitched.
"Are you sure?" She asked with a hint of laughter in her voice.
"Absolutely," I said with much more confidence than I actually felt. "Come on, Granger. Let's go see if Hogwarts is ready for you, shall we?"
The thestral glared at us as we stepped into the carriage. It was probably wondering what had taken us so long. As soon as we were seated, it took off, trying to catch up to the other carriages ahead of us. Awkward silence surrounded us as we moved through the night.
Possible topics of conversation flicked through my mind, but I dismissed each in turn.
How was your summer? Loaded question that would bring up memories of how the summer started, which no one wants.
Did you realize your hair looks like it's on fire when you move? Creepy, plus that was probably the whole point.
I overheard your so-called friends saying you look like a circus freak. Too soon. I'll save that to use against the Weasel at some point in time.
Do you have any other tattoos hidden anywhere? Again, creepy. Even if the answer is yes, would she really tell me?
It was hopeless. I couldn't have friendly conversation with Granger, for Merlin's sake! We were more likely to curse each other than to have anything remotely friendly to say to each other.
The carriage turned around a bend and the gates of Hogwart's became visible.
"I just want to say thank you," she blurted out as the carriage began to slow.
Startled, I looked at her with my brow raised. What in the bloody hell would she be thanking me for?
"For what you did for me. For saving me." She took a deep breath and looked me right in the eye. "Thank you."
My heart didn't know whether to stop or beat faster. She was thanking me? After all of the shite I put her through growing up? After watching her be tortured at my house? After knowing that I knew her most humiliating secret? She was fucking thanking me?
Even then, I knew exactly what she was thanking me for. It wasn't enough, what I had done after the battle ended. Then again, maybe it was. Her gratitude was sincere. Her eyes were swimming with it.
The carriage came to a halt but neither of us moved. Finally my brain kicked in and I nodded in acknowledgement.
"I wish I could have done more," I tell her, because really, I do.
She didn't argue with me. No platitudes of 'oh, you did all you could,' or 'you did more than you give yourself credit for'. She had no illusions that I was actually a misguided youth that was forced into a war I didn't want. She knew the part I played, the bad and the good.
The thestral pawed at the ground impatiently, prompting her to hop out of the carriage first. I followed right behind her and we followed the path to the front doors of the castle.
We didn't encounter anyone else along the way, so it was obvious that everyone was already in the Great Hall for the feast. We paused in front of the doors.
"You know, if we go in there together the rumors will be flying before the first course is served." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me. I got the distinct impression that she had just issued me a challenge.
"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" I scoffed. "Trust me when I say there are already rumors flying."
"Touche. Alright then. Let's do this."
She smirked at me, then waited for me to smirk right back. Ah. Who the hell wanted to fly under the radar this year anyway?
I grabbed one door handle. She grabbed the other. Silently we counted to three and pulled them open at the same time. Then we strode through the doors together like we owned the damn place.
You could have heard a pin drop in that cavernous room. Every set of eyes rested on the two of us. As we neared the tables, I glanced over at her. She looked at me at the same time. A quick chin tilt between the two of us, then I turned to the Slytherin table and she turned the opposite way to the Gryffindor table.
I took my usual place between Theo and Greg just as she reached her spot between Potter and Weasley. We sat at the same time. It took a total of ten seconds before the room erupted in a cacophony of excited voices.
" Merlin! That's Granger's seat."
"No, it can't be…"
"Is that…"
"It is!"
"That's Hermione Granger!"
"But wait…"
"Didn't she come in with Malfoy?"
"She did!"
"Oh, Merlin! Do you think...the two of them...are they together?"
Plates of food filled the tables. I looked up. My eyes caught hers. She gestured to the food. She had called it. The rumors were flying before the first course had been served.
"Is that really Granger?" Greg asked, dumbfounded. "What the hell happened to her?"
Was he serious? It was obvious, wasn't it?
War.
War had happened.
"Something you want to tell us, Draco?" Theo nudged my arm. "You and Granger, huh?"
I glared at him for at least five seconds before responding with a curt "No."
"You walked in together."
He wasn't going to just drop it, was he?
"We happened to be the last two on the platform and ended up in the same carriage." See, easily explainable.
"I saw you with her at the back of the train."
Fair point. Still explainable, though.
"I wanted fresh air. She had the same idea." I shrugged my shoulders. I knew that was all the evidence he had, and it was flimsy at best. We were in the same place at the same time and didn't curse each other. End of story.
He raised his eyebrow and shook his head, but ultimately dropped it and returned to the food on his plate.
The whispers persisted. I blocked them out. They were all ridiculous anyway. Did anyone in that room actually think she would give me the time of day? It was laughable at best. We were able to coexist without trying to kill each other. Some would call it progress. Others would call it a miracle.
The food was good, as always. My appetite was non-existent though. Granger had provided a much needed distraction, but now that she was gone I was able to think about the last time I had stepped foot in the Great Hall. Visions of dead students lying at my feet had me pushing my plate away. I had the horrible thought that there will probably be new ghosts at the castle this year. Ghosts of people that I knew in life.
As soon as dessert was served, I left the Hall and headed down to the dungeon. Most of Slytherin house followed behind me.
The common room was warm, despite being below ground. One wall was glass with the water from the Black Lake on the other side. This late at night it was as dark as it's name.
I followed the hallway down past the younger year's quarters. I found my name on the last door at the end of the hallway along with Blaise, Theo and Greg. My bed was in the back corner, which suited me just fine. I set about unpacking, changed into pajamas and laid down with the curtains drawn around me before any of them made their way to the dormitory.
I was sure there was a new-year party going on in the common room by now. It was a Slytherin house tradition. I was not in the mood for a party, though, and I knew no one would even miss me if I wasn't there.
I hated to admit it, but today hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Being back at Hogwarts was strange. Bittersweet. The good memories mingled with the bad.
"You can't change the past. You can only change your future." The words passed my lips as a whisper. That phrase had become my mantra. I speak it aloud every morning when I look in the mirror, and every night before I close my eyes to go to sleep. It was one of the tips the court-ordered therapist gave me. Most of what he said was bullshit, but this one thing did seem to help.
My eyes slid shut and I counted through my inhale and exhale as my body started to relax. Another tip from the therapist - focus on counting rather than letting my mind wander to places it should never visit again.
Still an image formed unbidden. A witch with black and red hair and a phoenix tattoo. She was tempting me. She was daring me.
" Don't hide." She said. "Stand out. Let them remember you for who you are rather than who you used to be."
"And who am I?" I asked.
She smiled at me, threw her head back and laughed.
"That's the best part, Draco. Only you get to decide the answer to that question."
My eyes shot open to reveal a dark room. It was as though she had whispered in my ear, then vanished like a cloud of smoke.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. The only sound in the room was the sound of my own ragged breaths being forced from my lungs. I felt like I had just run a marathon rather than wakened from a dream that felt more realistic than any other.
I willed myself to calm down. Counting my breaths.
Inhale. One, two, three, four.
Exhale. Five, six, seven, eight.
Inhale. One, two, three, four.
Exhale. Five, six, seven, eight.
Inhale. One, two, three, four.
Exhale. Five, six, seven, eight.
As I felt myself drifting back to sleep, I couldn't help but ask the question: who do I want to be? As sleep claimed me yet again, I knew that I did not have an answer to that question. Perhaps it was high time I figured it out.
AN: So there you have it. Let me know if I should continue.
-mezy