Chapter 17 Cartoons and Mistakes

Iggy waited near the entrance to Bowser's Castle. He tapped his foot when he wasn't pacing, and periodically… well, more than periodically, he would pull out his phone to either check the time or his text messages. He let out an audible grunt every single time.

"What are their whereabouts?" he asked. He looked at the castle door again, large enough to compete with a skyscraper. "I am aware that they were in World 4 but…" he shook his head. He massaged his temples, taking deep breaths as he did. "Do not stress, Iggy. They will be back within no time at all. And just imagine the possibilities when they do!" He grinned now, every negative emotion draining away. "It would be fascinating beyond measure to see and observe Morton's talkative nature! He undoubtedly has some interesting things he would want to say." He giggled, tapping his foot in a sporadic rhythm. "Oh, this will be the event to end all events! Surely, this is going to…"

"Wow, you're talking to yourself now?"

Iggy seized up. His heart sank, and he frowned instead of smiling. He turned toward Sarcasm, slowly because he was afraid of what he would see on his face. Sure enough, the trait wore the worst of all smirks. It was the kind of look a person wore when they talked down to someone else (not that Iggy would know anything about that).

Iggy did his best to hide his disdain, but even he noticed the venom in his voice. "Is your presence here really necessary?"

Sarcasm laughed. "Of course, it is! Don't you know Iggy; I light up every room I'm in!" He giggled. "I'm like an explosion, bursting and covering the room with more joy than people know what to do with."

Iggy gritted his teeth. "I am not certain about that last part." This time, he was the one who wore a smirk. "However, I would certainly compare your music to an explosion. It's just as deafening and just as migraine-inducing."

Sarcasm's eyes grew wide. "Wow. Couldn't sugar coat those words at all?"

"Migraine-inducing is sugar-coating it."

Sarcasm rolled his eyes. "You should be a motivational speaker." He shook his head. "You know, my whole really values his music. I bet he would be thrilled to hear you give him such colorful comments. In fact…" Sarcasm closed his eyes. "I'm going to get in touch with Musical Inclination, and see what he thinks."

Iggy blinked. "Uh, I do not believe that to be necessary…"

Unfortunately, his words were far too late. "Hey, Musical Inclination! Iggy just called our music deafening and migraine-inducing! What do you think of that?" There was a pause before Sarcasm nodded his head. "Yep, yep, that's what I thought." He opened his eyes, looking right at Iggy. "Musical Inclination just fell into an existential crisis. Good job, man." He hid his hands in his orange cloak. "Very good job."

Iggy just sighed, shaking his head. "Your ego is not important right now." He turned back toward the door, groaning as he did. "Why are they taking so long?" He got out his phone again. "We've been waiting for five hours."

"Yeah. It's an absolute travesty." Sarcasm laughed. "Everyone knows you shouldn't make the Almighty Iggy wait! That's a crime worthy of the death sentence, as said in the newest law our humble king Bowser passed."

When Iggy groaned again, he put his head in his hands. "Would you please stop!" He turned toward Sarcasm with heat in his eyes. "I will ask once again; is your presence here necessary? There are at least ten people here in the castle who are more deserving of your quips and insults."

Sarcasm, in response to this, crossed his arms. "Um, 'more deserving?' How can anyone be more deserving of insults? Especially when you're the perfect target."

Iggy gripped his hands into fists. "And why is that dear brother?" He was prepared to rip Sarcasm to shreds. He was ready to beat him into a pulp and stand on top of his corpse.

That is until Sarcasm spoke up again. "Do you need to be reminded that it was you who is responsible for the state Ludwig and Morton are in?"

Iggy felt a pang, one that filled him with pain. "I… I…"

"You do know that, right? You do know that you made a mistake by doing that, right? You don't even know how to put us traits back together!"

Iggy's heart felt more pangs, painful as ever. "I will figure it out…"

"Figure it out? You should've figured it out a while ago! You should've tried to get the kinks of the device sorted out before you split up Morton and put us in this tangled mess." Sarcasm scoffed. "But you didn't. And for all we know, that could mean that you doomed us."

Iggy didn't say anything. He looked down at the ground, a gnawing void swirling in his stomach and heart. He tried to speak, but he couldn't say anything. Not while under Sarcasm's scrutinizing gaze. Not while everything he said had the potential to be right on the money.

"I…" he muttered something, the sound softer than the scream of a germ.

"What was that?" Sarcasm asked.

Iggy bit his lip. "I… I'm sorry."

Sarcasm did a double take. "You're… sorry?"

"Yes." Iggy's mind raced to find a way to properly articulate itself. "You're right. I made a mistake. I messed up. I acted without thought. I let my own desires supersede what everyone actually needed."

Sarcasm blinked. He didn't say anything, instead just looking at Iggy with wide eyes. The silence hurt, putting Iggy through the worst kinds of emotional pain he had ever experienced. He waited for Sarcasm to break it. He prayed that Sarcasm would break it.

When he didn't, Iggy decided to speak up despite his own bruised ego. "I just… I just wanted to help." He looked back at the ground again. "And I know that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, but I honestly believed that this was the best course of action. I… I wanted to help my brother." He looked away from Sarcasm. "The thought of one of my own siblings suffering from depression…" he took in a shaky breath. "I can't even describe to you how horrifying of a possibility that was to me. I… I felt like I didn't know Morton as well as I should. Realizing that he might have it, as well as having Foodie directly tell me… it made me feel like Morton and I were strangers." He chuckled, the sound devoid of humor. "That was never my goal. I didn't want to put Morton in a position like this one. I just… I wanted to fix things. I wanted to provide him with a path to recovery." He sniffled. "I figured it was the least I could do."

Sarcasm stared at Iggy. The silence as Iggy rested underneath his gaze was nerve-wracking. Iggy's stomach swirled and twirled, threatening to empty its contents onto the floor.

"Iggy," Sarcasm said. "That's…' he snickered. "Incredibly sappy."

Iggy's entire being buckled under the weight of disappointment. "Thank you," he said, the sarcasm in his voice sharp enough to match Ludwig's trait. He considered going up to his lab. He had just turned and took two steps there when Sarcasm spoke again.

"But… it's also really sweet." Iggy blinked and turned back to Sarcasm, who sniffed. "And darn it, it is very noble. More noble than I thought you and your thoughts could muster."

Iggy stood in place, unsure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. "Um… thank you?"

Sarcasm swept a lock of his hair back. "And honestly, it's also very admirable. It doesn't make up for you being SO MONUMENTALLY STUPID… but it's admirable." He smiled. Not smirked, smiled. "And a step in the right direction."

Iggy stood in place. A smile grew on his lips. His heart melted into a warm puddle. "Thank you." No fear or apprehension were in those words. Not this time.

"And for what it's worth," Sarcasm said. "I think that you could find the answers you seek." A twinge of fear appeared on his face, but it was gone so quickly Iggy wondered if he imagined it. "Now, whether those answers will be pleasant or unpleasant, we can't really say for sure."

Iggy thought about that sentence. He tossed it around in his head, analyzing it and scrutinizing it with utmost caution. It was… there was an ominous note to it. It made him feel things, things he didn't necessarily want to feel. It might point to a reality that Iggy didn't want to believe in. It made him feel… bad. He couldn't remember a time when he felt this bad, this horrible. And now that this emotion was here, he hadn't the slightest clue what to do with it.

Thankfully, he would find that he didn't need to worry about that. The door opened, and Lemmy, Roy, and Chattiness entered the castle (THANK GOODNESS). As the name of the trait would suggest, he spoke to the two Koopalings accompanying him. And the voice he used to do that… wow. There was something so spritely about it, something so dynamic and animated. Was… was this really Morton?

"Hello, dear brothers." Iggy approached the trio, causing Chattiness to stop. "I am very glad to see you."

"Nice to see you too, Iggy!" Lemmy said with a laugh. He turned toward Chattiness. "This is our brother, Iggy Koopa!"

Chattiness looked at Iggy. For a second_ just a split second_ a new emotion appeared on Chattiness's face. He looked at Iggy, this emotion dominating his face. He looked like he wanted to run. He looked like he wanted to hide. He looked like he wanted to vanish.

However, the emotion disappeared after a little bit, so quickly that Iggy questioned its existence. The trait cleared his throat, putting on a smile as he did. "It's nice to meet you, Iggy."

"You as well," Iggy responded. He extended his hand, which Chattiness gladly shook. Iggy turned toward Sarcasm. "And this guy is…uh…"

"The Center of the Universe," Sarcasm said as he extended his own hand.

Chattiness laughed. "Wow. That name's quite a mouthful." He shook Sarcasm's hand with noticeable enthusiasm. "But it's really nice to meet you. This is a nice place too."

"Thank you!" Iggy said. He gestured to the path that led to the East Wing. "Why don't we take you on a tour? We can discuss some things while we're doing that."

"Sounds like a plan!" Chattiness exclaimed. His excitement was unparalleled; was this really Morton?

The five Koopas made their way toward the bedrooms. Chattiness studied the Castle, his mouth hanging open in awe as he looked at the smooth, obsidian walls and the plush red carpet. "This place looks incredible!" Confusion appeared on his face. "And it… it feels familiar… somehow…"

Iggy nodded. "Well, I feel that feeling is completely normal." Sarcasm snorted, but Iggy cast him a look to silence him. "I theorize that quite a few things are going to seem familiar to you in this castle."

"Ooh, that sounds mysterious!" He laughed. "But in a fun way! I like me some good old-fashioned mysteries; yes I do!" He beamed. "Kind of reminds me about this book I read when I was a little kid. I think it was a Shellock Holmes book or something; it was really good, and the mystery was quite strong…"

As Chattiness went on, Sarcasm and Iggy exchanged a look. It was clear to Iggy that both of them had no idea how this could be their brother's trait. Maybe this was a fluke caused by the broken Personality Splitter? Oh man, that was just one more reason Iggy had to regret his choices (and one more reason Sarcasm had to make fun of him). Iggy hoped that wasn't the case.

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it probably wasn't. The more he thought about it, the more he reasoned that Depression was responsible for this trait flying completely under the Koopalings' radar. And if that was the case…

Oh man, that almost made Iggy shed a tear…

"That is so true, Morton!" Lemmy exclaimed. He gasped. "Oh!" He looked at Iggy and Sarcasm. "Hey, why don't you tell Iggy and The Center of the Universe about Rainbow Mare?"

"Rainbow Mare?" Iggy and Sarcasm asked in unison.

Chattiness' face turned scarlet as he and the others came to a stop. "Oh. Uh…" he hesitated, making Roy look ultra confused as he did. "I don't… I don't know…"

"Oh, come on!" Lemmy said, his glee very noticeable to Iggy. "I'm sure they would love to hear about it!"

Chattiness made eye contact with Iggy. The emotion that was in his face when he initially walked in the door returned, but this time, there was no mistaking that it was there. It made Iggy have an internal panic attack. What exactly did that mean?

"Uh…" Chattiness hesitated away before nodding. "Uh… okay." He resumed walking, as did everyone else. "Well, Rainbow Mare is a TV show. A cartoon, more specifically." The smile slowly returned to his face. "It's a really great one too! I've watched every single one of its episodes at least ten times in the past year alone!"

"Oh. Interesting," Iggy said.

"What's it about?" asked Sarcasm.

Chattiness giggled. "Well… this is a little embarrassing…" (another look of confusion appeared on Roy's face, but he didn't say anything). "But it's about this rainbow-maned Pegasus named Rainbow Mare." Chattiness, despite his discomfort, was quick to talk about this particular character, "She's the servant of the Princess of the Kingdom, and is very dedicated to said Kingdom. She would do literally anything to protect it. Anything. And she often doesn't talk to a lot of people, feeling like her job is more important." Chattiness' eyes glittered. "But that all changes one day when she meets her friends. They help her relax, help her realize that it's okay to have fun and take things easy every once in a while." He chuckled. "After all, you can't exactly work at your maximum capacity when you're so high-strung."

Sarcasm snickered. "Man, maybe we should introduce those friends to Iggy."

"Shut. Up." Iggy said through gritted teeth. He turned back to Chattiness. "But that's really cool. I'm glad you found enjoyment out of something like that."

Chattiness beamed. "I… yeah, I am too." He gasped. "Oh! I need to tell you about the Coral Cake arc; that's one of the most wholesome arcs in the entire series!"

With that, Chattiness jumped right into explaining the intricate details of this particular part of the show. As he did, Iggy listened with keen interest. Not necessarily because of the show itself (it didn't sound like his cup of tea), but more so because of the effect it was having on Morton. He went into so much detail one would think he had absorbed the knowledge of the show's wiki page. He didn't leave any stone unturned and didn't let anything go unsaid. On top of that, the way he spoke about it was so… joyful. He sounded like he was in Heaven, like the show had been a gift from God Himself. It was quite a sight to see.

It was also a source of confusion for Iggy. Why hadn't Morton ever talked about this before? Why had he never mentioned this to any of the other Koopalings? Clearly, he was passionate about it. Clearly, it inspired the best sorts of emotions within him, so what was wrong? It didn't add up. It really didn't add up.

"That is quite interesting," Iggy said. He just noticed that they had arrived at Morton's bedroom door, causing him to stop. "Okay, a little bit of explanation is needed." He turned toward Morton as he put his hand on the doorknob. "What you are going to see in this room has the potential to freak you out. But I assure you, there is no reason to panic. Explanations will ensue, and everything will be explained to you in due time. Just…" he put his hand on Chattiness' shoulder. "Just try not to panic, okay?"

Chattiness stood silent for a minute (despite all odds) before nodding. "Okay."

Iggy nodded back before opening the door. The first thing that fell upon his ears was the sound of Laziness snoring. When the Koopalings stepped deeper into the room, Foodie (who had been reading a cookbook in a beanbag chair near the window), smiled and stood up.

"Oh!" he said. "You found him!"

Iggy nodded. He looked back at Chattiness, who gawked at the other traits.

"They…" he lifted his hand and pointed a shaky finger at his fellow trait. "They look like me!"