Sins of the Father chapter 5
Jonathan awoke to the sound of his alarm. He slept surprisingly well considering he still had a dull headache and of course there was an infant in the house. He decided to check in on his parents as he didn't hear anything coming from their room. He knocked lightly but didn't hear any response. He opened the door slowly, but no one was in bed or anywhere else as far as he could tell. He decided to get himself ready and head downstairs.
He finished getting ready and headed down the stairs. He could hear the sounds of the television being played quietly in the background as well as Henry's cooing coming from the portable bassinet placed carefully on the sofa. Both Tony and Angela were sound asleep on the sofa, Angela curled up against Tony and Tony leaning on Angela. He could tell they were both exhausted and could use some more sleep. He decided to pick up Henry and bring him into the kitchen while he made himself some coffee and breakfast.
He walked into the kitchen with Henry and switched on the coffee machine. He was able to maneuver Henry while getting out a bowl, spoon, milk and cereal box, all to his surprise. He got everything set up and then sat down with Henry to eat.
"You know what Henry, you're not half as bad as I imagined you to be. I'd say you're even kinda cute. I wonder how late you kept Mom and Tony up for last night! By the looks of them, I'd say you partied pretty hard!" he laughed, causing Henry to giggle.
Just then, Samantha walk in the back door. She smiled when she caught sight of Jonathan and Henry smiling and laughing.
"Hey dweeb! Where's Dad and Angela?" she asked.
"Passed out on the sofa. I think this guy here kept them up last night. They looked exhausted and were in such a deep sleep I didn't want to wake them. Tony and I still have over an hour until we have to be at the funeral home so I figured I'd just let them sleep" he said.
"It's a good thing he's cute! I think I'll help Angela with him this morning and then she can go back to sleep. Once you get back with Dad, send him to bed for a few more hours. You want me to take him while you eat?" she asked.
"No it's okay. I think we've got a rhythm here! I could go for a refill on my coffee if you wouldn't mind" he said.
"Sure dweeb. Don't get used to me being nice to you. I'm just doing this because you've got the kid in your arms and I wouldn't want to disturb how comfy he looks!" she laughed.
"Riiiight…" he laughed as well, taking a sip of his freshly refilled coffee. Just then, a very tired looking Tony and Angela walked into the kitchen and sat down in the empty seats. Samantha and Jonathan gave each other a quick worried look while Samantha went to get two more cups of coffee.
"Industrial strength please…" said Tony. "Make that two please" said Angela.
"I'm guessing he kept you all up last night?" asked Samantha as she placed their cups of coffee down in front of them.
"Aside from blinking, his eyes never closed from 11pm to 4am… He was up and ready to play from about 11pm to 2am and then decided to test out his lungs, crying nonstop from 2am to 4am, when he finally passed out. On the upside, he likes the Marx Brothers and there was a marathon on last night!" said Tony with a yawn.
"You really should have gotten me up sooner Tony. Although I thank you for those few hours I did get before this guy kept us up most of the night" she said as she sipped her coffee.
"Tony, I can drive us to the funeral home. Once we get back, you need to get some rest" said Jonathan.
"And Angela, you need to go get some more rest. I'll watch Henry and you can get some more sleep" said Samantha.
Neither Tony or Angela had enough strength to argue, so they just nodded and went back to sipping their coffee, both still half asleep. Samantha made them a light breakfast and then helped Jonathan make a bottle for Henry, who started to cry. Jonathan offered to feed Henry, while Samantha cleaned up the kitchen. Angela and Tony made their way back upstairs to get ready for the day. Once they were in their bedroom, they collapsed on their bed.
"Is it possible to sleep with your eyes open? If so, I think I'm doing it Angela. I forgot just how tiring this stage is, how dependent they are on us" he said as he went to rub Angela's back. She let out a soft moan as Tony's hands worked on the knots in her back caused by sleeping on the sofa.
"Yes I know. It's an exhaustion only new parents can know. Are you sure you want to go with Jonathan? I got more sleep than you did last night so I should go so you can rest" she said with a yawn as she curled into Tony's side. They both fell back onto the bed and cuddled into one another.
"I'm going to set an alarm for an hour from now. I'll get up and take a quick shower and then go with Jonathan. You sleep some more and then we will figure out the rest of the day" he said as he gave her a quick kiss. Within moments, they were both sound asleep.
Jonathan was sitting down watching television in the living room when Tony came down the stairs.
"Okay I'm ready to go! Where's Henry?" asked Tony.
"Samantha took him for a walk since it's a nice day. Okay I'll grab the keys and paperwork and we can go" he said as he got off the sofa.
Tony couldn't help but watch Jonathan with a sense of awe as he walked around the house, gathering what he needed. He still pictured him as the cute little eight year old boy with the snake arguing with Angela. While he thought before all this happened that there was some of that little boy left in him, he realized now that that little boy was gone, replaced with this young man standing in front of him now. He quickly wiped away some fallen tears as he grabbed his own coat and belongings.
Jonathan drove them to the funeral home as Tony was still not fully awake and functioning. He pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. Tony was about to get out of the car when he realized Jonathan wasn't moving, his hands still on the steering wheel, staring out the window.
Reaching over, Tony placed his hand gently on Jonathan's shoulder. He turned to look at Tony, tears in his eyes.
"I… I don't know if I can do this Tony" he said with emotion in his voice.
"Hey buddy… I mean Jonathan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I can make the arrangements and you can wait in the car. Your dad and Heather had made plans for what they wanted, so a lot of the decisions are already made" he said.
"Mom planned her dad's funeral. You planned your dad's funeral. I need to do something. He wasn't the best dad… but he was still my dad" he said as he could no longer hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall since it happened. He leaned forward, putting his head on the steering wheel, now uncontrollably sobbing. Tony was momentarily frozen in place as his own emotions overtook him, tears falling down his face. He quickly wiped away his own tears and leaned over to embrace Jonathan, as best as he could in the car.
Tony felt Jonathan just deflate against him, his body just crumpling beneath Tony's embrace. Tony responded by tightening his hold on him, pulling him as close to him as the confines of the car would allow. After a few minutes, Jonathan's crying slowed and he was able to catch his breath. He wiped the tears from his face and slowly pulled away from Tony.
"Okay Tony, I'm ready, let's go" he said as he went to get out of the car. Tony put his hand on his arm to stop him.
"Wait Jonathan. I think we should talk for a minute okay?" asked Tony. Jonathan just nodded his head, a fresh round of tears threatening to fall.
"I'm not going to try and lie to you that I knew your dad all that well, or even liked him that much. He made a lot of choices that I didn't agree with, first and foremost leaving you and your mom. But his loss was more than just my gain. He entrusted both of you to me when he asked me to come back and work for your mom. I think he saw something in the four of us we didn't quite fully know yet- that we were meant to be a family. For that, I will be forever grateful to your dad. I think he also knew that I'd be able to be there for you, no matter what, just like I promised you that Valentine's Day you set us up on that date. I've never tried to replace him in your life and even now that he is gone, I still won't. I just wanted you to know that I am so very proud of you, for the young man you have become and will continue to become as you go through this difficult journey. I may not be your father, but you will always will be my son" he said, choking back his own tears as he gently placed his hand on Jonathan's arm.
Tears were again falling down Jonathan's face as he took in Tony's words. He knew Tony had always been more than a housekeeper, more than his mom's boyfriend turned fiancée then finally husband. He was his dad and had been for years. He also knew this was a big part of why his dad's loss hurt so much.
"Thank you Tony. His loss hurts- it hurts a lot- but what hurts more is all the stuff we didn't get to do when I was growing up. He missed out on everything important to me- trying gymnastics for the first time, moving up a grade, kissing Heather, scratching your jeep with Patricia. I'm angry at him for not being there, but at the same time, it's not like I didn't have a father all those years… I had you" he said through tears as he looked over at Tony, who had his own tears falling down his face. The two hugged each other again, dried their eyes and got out of the jeep.
They walked next to each other into the funeral home. They met with the director in his office. Jonathan handed him all the paperwork with the arrangements. Michael and Heather had prepaid for their funerals; there were just some additional decisions to make that both Jonathan and Tony made together. They decided on a small funeral service at the funeral home the day after next, giving them time to get all the other arrangements finalized. They were given the information for the local florist to put in orders. They thanked the director and headed back out to the car. They opted to head to the florist first and then swing by the suit store.
After picking out some floral arrangements for the coffin as well as some standing floral arrangements from the family, they headed to the suit store.
Jonathan tried on his first suit as he had gone through a few growth spurts recently and had to be completely fitted for a new suit. Tony was easier as he just needed some quick measurements. He had Jonathan try on a few different styles until he found one he liked. Jonathan had packed a dress shirt to change into- he was just missing a tie. Tony grabbed a few ones for him to pick- Jonathan opted for the dark blue tie.
Jonathan spent a few minutes trying to tie the tie, but with no success. Tony came up behind him and grabbed the ends of the undone tie. Tony still had a few inches of height over Jonathan, but he still needed to stretch a bit to see over his shoulder into the mirror.
"The key to tying a tie is to make sure the bigger end is longer than the shorter one. Flip this around, pull it through here and there you go! Just pull here to adjust it so it's centered. The perfectly tied tie!" said Tony with a smile.
"Thanks Tony. Did your dad teach you how to do that?" he asked.
"No actually my grandfather did, before he died. My dad had to help me later on with it- like for my high school graduation and then when I married Marie. It just takes practice" said Tony.
Jonathan looked in the mirror and smiled at how he looked. The smile didn't last long when he remembered that his dad wouldn't be there for his graduation or his wedding, if and when he did get married. He quickly undid the tie and handed it back to Tony with the suit and went to change back into his shirt. Tony grabbed their belongings and went to the register to pay the bill. Everything would be ready tomorrow.
They got back into the car and headed home. When they walked back in the house, Angela was sitting on the sofa feeding Henry.
"How did everything go? Did you get the flowers ordered and your suits picked out?" she asked.
"All the arrangements are made, flowers are ordered and the suits will be ready tomorrow afternoon. If no one needs me right now, I'm going to try and sleep for a couple of hours" he said, not waiting for an answer as he kissed Angela and walked up the stairs.
Jonathan sat down on the side chair and went to grab the remote. He flipped through some channels but nothing came on that interested him. He tossed the remote back on the coffee table.
"Everything go alright sweetheart? You doing okay?" she asked as she finished feeding Henry and moved to burp him.
"Yeah I guess so. Dad made most of the arrangements so there wasn't a whole lot to do. Dad and Heather didn't have any other family besides me. Do you think there will be people at the funeral?" he asked.
"Oh sweetheart I don't know. I let your father's company know about the arrangements in case anyone from the New York office could come. I'm sure our friends and family will come if they can, but even if it's just us, that's okay. They were living abroad for years and in California the other times. Neither of them had made any recent connections on the East coast. What's important is that you, Henry and our family are there" she said.
"I was thinking if it is alright by you, I'd like to speak during the ceremony. I have no idea what I'm going to say, but I'd like the chance to speak, if that's alright" he said.
"Of course it is sweetheart. I know your dad and Heather would be touched to have you speak. If you need any help or going over any drafts, Tony and I would be happy to do it" she said as she started to rock Henry to sleep.
"Okay Mom thanks. I'm going to head up to my room and start working on it" he said as he headed up the stairs.
Angela turned her attention back to the almost sleeping Henry. She began to stroke his cheek and adjust him so he was cuddled in closer.
"Your brother is something else Henry. I can see a lot of your dad in him, but he also has a lot of me in him. He's strong, smart, stubborn and unfortunately holds in his emotions. I hope he finds a way to let it out and doesn't make the same mistakes I made" she said to a now sleeping Henry.