When Remus was eleven, the family received a visitor. In the four years since they'd moved, they'd only seen a handful of visitors, mainly Ministry officials who had business with Lyall. Remus never met up with other children. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd had a friend. He was certainly very lonely, and he didn't imagine that the loneliness would ever go away, what with no school to go to, no neighbours to talk to and no siblings to play with. All he had were his parents, and as much as he loved them, he found himself getting unreasonably wound up by them on a regular basis. He'd simply been cooped up with them for too long.

Their new house was nice, if not isolating. Remus's bedroom was a good size, and there was certainly no lack of outside space. At least with no neighbours around, Remus was much more free to play outdoors whenever he wanted to without worrying about people seeing him and the scars on his face. However, he still found himself missing his old home. It had been an old house, almost ancient, so there had been plenty of secret hiding places and nooks and crannies to explore. Their new house on the other hand, while old, was nowhere near old enough to have any interesting secrets to discover, so Remus spent most of his time bored in his room, reading.

His mother was worried about his social skills. His father said that Remus interacting with a bunch of kids who made fun of his scars would do his social skills no favour.

Somehow this turned into an argument.

Remus was sick of listening to arguing, and he seemed to be the root cause of all of them, so along with the oppressing loneliness, Remus also had to deal with a never-ending cycle of guilt. And at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was go to Hogwarts.

It was Friday when the doorbell rang so his father was at home. His mother was with Lyall in the living room and Remus was upstairs, doing some unfinished schoolwork. He was still being homeschooled, and his workload grew every year as he got older. Along with maths, English and history, he was now doing subjects such as science and geography. He didn't like those subjects as much.

Remus went to the landing when he heard the door. He suspected it was another Ministry official, and therefore someone boring, but he still liked to see another human being who wasn't his mum or his dad, and spy on them, listening in to any conversations. But it wasn't a Ministry official. Or at least, if it was, it was the oddest looking Ministry official that Remus had ever seen. The man was very tall, at least a foot taller than his father, and he had a long silvery beard that went right down to his belt. He was dressed all in mauve, and his hat was very pointy. Remus couldn't help but notice that he looked exactly like the wizards described in Muggle fairytales that his mother would read to him. But the man also looked familiar.

For some reason, Lyall and Hope tried to stop the man from entering the house. Remus didn't know why. They didn't even know the man. But then it hit him: why the man looked familiar. Remus quickly ran to his bedroom, rummaged through a draw full of chocolate frog cards, picked one out and rushed back to his spot at the top of the stairs. He stared at the card, and then at the man, who was still being denied access to the house. Yes, thought Remus, it was definitely him. Professor Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts. Remus's heart jumped into his throat and he decided to brave it...

He stood up and padded downstairs towards the doorway. Dumbledore spotted him first.

"Hello," Dumbledore greeted politely. Lyall and Hope turned to Remus.

"Remus, darling, go upstairs please," his mother quickly ordered, but Dumbledore cut her off.

"Actually it's Remus I'd like to talk to." Remus and Hope looked at the man in confusion, but Lyall gave him a rather different look: a mix of surprise and suspicion.

"Why do you want to speak to Dahlia?" Lyall interjected. Remus's heart plummeted. This man didn't know him. On first glance he would have assumed Remus was a boy, and he was using his name, his real name, without knowing his old name. Why did his father have to go and screw it up?

Lyall had finally got the hang of using the name Remus— he'd eventually given in, and while he slipped up a lot, he did correct himself, unless he was angry, and he hadn't referred to Remus as a "she" for at least a year now. But was he only going to do that behind closed doors, where no one except Remus and Hope could hear? And now that this man had turned up, who was essentially a stranger, Lyall was just going to act like he still had a daughter?

But Dumbledore just looked at him steadily.

"I thought his name was Remus now." Remus's heart, which had travelled an entire journey around his body in less than a few minutes, jumped back into place. Now? Did Dumbledore know? How did he know?

But he used the right pronouns. He knew and he still used the right name and pronouns. Remus looked at him warmly. Lyall started to stutter.

"W-well, I mean... well, um-" Hope rolled her eyes before interrupting.

"Yes it is," she affirmed. "Why do you want to talk to him?"

"I want to give him a letter." The room went quiet. Dumbledore walked over to Remus— Lyall and Hope having given up their mission to keep the Professor out of the house— and handed the boy an envelope. Remus barely hesitated before taking it and reading the address on the front:

Mr R. Lupin

House Number 6, Masters Grove

Gwynedd, Wales

Mr R. Lupin. Mister. He almost wanted to cry. His acceptance letter into Hogwarts. His acceptance into the Wizarding world, and it was addressed to a Mister Remus Lupin.

His father spoke up.

"I don't understand... I'm sorry, Professor, but you must not be aware of our situation—"

"I assure you, Mr Lupin, that I am perfectly aware of the situation, and I am telling you that I want your son to attend my school."

"B-but... how?"

"He only transforms twelve times a year, doesn't he? For the other three hundred and fifty three days he is a completely normal human being. I do not think it fair, therefore, to deny him the proper education that he needs, just for those twelve nights. There are places within the Hogwarts and Hogsmeade grounds that he can safely transform in, away from any living creature but still under my watch. Both he and everyone will be safe and no one need know of his condition." Remus thought it sounded perfectly reasonable, and he was so desperate to go to Hogwarts anyhow. He looked eagerly at his parents, but they still appeared hesitant.

"If it gets out... that he's a werewolf," began his father. "... Professor, I'm sorry. It's too dangerous." Remus deflated. He knew it. He knew he shouldn't have got his hopes up. But Dumbledore continued.

"I shall do everything in my power to ensure that he is safe. Just as safe as he would be at home, if not more, because at least he'll be able to learn how to control his magic." Lyall thought about it, but Hope looked worried.

"Professor, sir..." she began. "Remus being a werewolf isn't the only problem. He... well, I take it you already know, but..." She glanced at her son. "He wasn't born a boy."

"I am a boy, though," piped up Remus. The first words he'd spoken to Dumbledore.

"Yes," continued his mother. "But... if the other children find out... And, will he be treated like a boy? Can he use the boy dormitories? Or the bathrooms?" Lyall looked like he wanted to interject. Remus hoped he wouldn't. Thankfully, Dumbledore spoke before Lyall had a chance.

"I don't see why not. Hogwarts is a home for everyone, and if that's what Remus needs for Hogwarts to feel like his home, then by all means." Remus couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy, but he was terrified that something would go wrong. In fact he was sure it would go wrong. It was all too good to be true.

Dumbledore had allowed Lyall and Hope to spend some time thinking everything over before making their decision. They discussed their concerns in low whispers, setting Remus on edge. He didn't like the thought that they could barge into his room at any moment and announce that they weren't allowing him to go to Hogwarts after all. Every time they brought up the subject with him, he enthusiastically insisted that he wanted to go and assured them that he'd be fine.

However, he had his own reservations of course. He didn't know for sure he'd be fine. He had two big secrets that he simply didn't know if he could keep for the next seven years, no matter what Dumbledore said, and the thought of all those students... Would they like him? Would they bully him? Would they make fun of his scars? And what would they do if they found out that he was actually born a girl?

He didn't admit these anxieties to his parents. They were so close to agreeing to letting him go that Remus didn't want to jeopardise it. So as usual, he suppressed his feelings and kept quiet.

Eventually, nearly two weeks after Dumbledore's visit, his parents sat Remus down at the dining table and told him that after long thought, they had decided to let him go to Hogwarts. Remus grinned and clapped his hands in excitement. His parents allowed him to celebrate for a second before continuing.

"But... we have a lot to discuss," said his father. Remus calmed down, but didn't respond. He simply indicated that he was listening. His parents launched straight into a speech about how Remus had to make sure that no one found out about his lycanthropy; that he let no one spot him leaving the castle to transform, and that if anyone were to ask, he needed to lie about where he got his scars.

But overall, his parents were more focused on Remus's male identity. They reiterated what had all been on their minds for the past year or so.

"You're at an age where you could start puberty at any moment," began his mother. Remus always tried to avoid this conversation. Not only did he find it gross from a pre-teen perspective, but he also didn't want to think about it. He hated the thought of his body changing to match the wrong gender, or the thought of his chest no longer being flat, and he couldn't even describe how much he dreaded getting his period. "But we have to be prepared. So we'll have to pack some things that... you may not want."

Said things happened to be a various selection of period products. His mother had gone out to buy them and she laid them out on his bed. It affected him more than he'd wanted it to, seeing them there. He found himself fighting back tears. He didn't want them on his bed, he didn't want them in his trunk, he didn't want them to be a constant reminder that he wasn't what he wanted to be.

His mum said that he only needed to take one pack. It was only "just in case". If anything happened, he could owl them for more. Remus stuffed the pack right at the bottom of his trunk, and vowed to hide it somewhere as soon as he got to Hogwarts. Somewhere out of sight and out of mind. His mother also made him pack some sports bras "just in case", which he also vowed to hide.

All in all, the build up to Hogwarts just made Remus feel more and more depressed as each day passed until September 1st. Why couldn't he just be normal? he thought, lying on his bed one night. He just wanted a normal school experience without having to deal with his stupid body and his stupid lycanthropy. Having to hide so much, and having to transform every single month for the rest of his life. Every. Single. Bloody. Month. As well as going through the wrong damn puberty. It was all wrong. Everything was wrong.

Remus bit into his pillow. The whole situation, every overwhelming emotion pressing against his chest, just made him want to scream.

His only distraction was when they went to Diagon Alley.

At first, the whole place made Remus feel very nervous. He'd never seen this many people, let alone be right among them. He'd been to Diagon Alley before, of course, but never before the start of term. The place was packed with kids his age and older, running around from shop to shop, pressing their palms against the windows, leaving foggy marks where their breath touched the glass, until the owners came out to tell them to "either buy something or bugger off" in a tone light-hearted enough to make the kids run away giggling.

The first few shops they went into were to pick up the list of supplies such as books and cauldrons. Flourish & Blotts was definitely Remus's favourite shop in Diagon Alley. He loved the old shelves filled with even older books, and the winding staircase leading to the second floor had a great hiding place underneath it where he could sit for hours reading, time passing him by as if it ceased to exist the second he stepped into the place.

However, on this specific day he was much more focused on other places. "Can we go to Ollivander's now?" he asked at regular intervals, to the same reply of "not now. We'll go at the end." Remus had spent most of his life thinking that he'd never get to go to Ollivander's, never get to choose his wand when he was eleven, so now that he actually had the opportunity, he was feeling more than a little impatient.

They skipped Madame Malkin's robe shop. Remus didn't want to be measured so closely, and his parents agreed that it was a risk, so his mother had measured him herself and had picked up his robes a few days previously. He knew they'd be boy robes, of course, but he was still very excited to see them and try them on. The dark grey slacks and the light grey pullover jumper, and the white button-up shirt underneath, all fit perfectly and Remus was reluctant to take it off. It suited him.

Their next shop was the Menagerie, the loudest shop on the street. Screeching owls and mewling cats filled their ears as they got closer. His parents had bickered over which animal Remus should choose. They had ruled out toad from the beginning; no one wanted a toad. But his mother loved cats and she had encouraged Remus to choose a nice one, a kitten perhaps, but his father insisted that owls were much more useful. Besides, their own owl, Solomon, was so old that he spent most of his days sleeping, so his father said it would be good to have a younger, more lively owl around the place. Remus didn't know who to agree with, so he decided to just see which animal he liked the best when he entered the shop.

"Look how sweet this kitty is," said his mother from the left side of the shop where the majority of the cats were. She was stroking the ears of a little black cat, still a kitten, which was purring loudly at her touch. Remus went over and scratched it gently under the chin.

"It's cute," he said, smiling. His dad on the other hand was inspecting the owls on the other side of the shop.

"Remus," he called. Remus joined him. "Look at this fella. Good size. Great feathers." He was pointing at a rather large tawny owl which, in Remus's opinion, looked quite fierce.

"He's a bit big, dad."

"Well he can certainly carry your mail." Remus's gaze wandered over to a much smaller owl, asleep at the moment. It was light brown in colour, with darker brown and white patches all over its coat.

"That one's nice," said Remus. His dad looked at the owl.

"She's asleep."

"So?"

"You don't want an owl who sleeps all day, we've already got one of those."

"How do you know she's a girl?" Lyall raised an eyebrow.

"It says so right there." He pointed at a small sign on the owl's cage that Remus had previously missed:

"Young female Barred Owl,"the sign read, in rather scrawly handwriting.

"I like her," Remus concluded. Hope had joined them by now. "What do you think, mum?" Hope looked at the owl as well.

"She's cute," she replied. "But are you sure you don't want a cat? I asked the shopkeeper and she said that they have some kittens round the back. Lovely little things. Very fluffy."

"No, thanks. I'd rather have an owl." If Remus was being honest, he wanted to choose an animal that boys were more likely to get, and he thought that more boys chose owls than cats. Cats were more of a girl's choice, and he didn't want anyone to call him a girl for bringing a kitten to school. Besides, he'd already grown quite fond of the little brown owl.

"Alright then," conceded his mother. Lyall looked pleased.

"I'll go pay for her," he said, taking the cage down from where it was hanging and handing it to Remus. "You think of a name for her." The movement shook the owl awake and she stared at Remus sleepily with her dark round eyes.

"Hello," said Remus. The owl hooted softly. "I think I'll call you... Arianrhod."

At long last, Remus and his parents— arms full with school supplies and the cage of a very sleepy owl— stood outside Ollivander's. Remus was nervous. It looked dark inside, and inexplicably empty. Lyall nudged him forward.

"Go on," he encouraged. Remus opened the door. A bell tinkled from somewhere within the shop. Remus stepped near the counter, his parents behind him.

"Hello?" he called. A man suddenly appeared, silently, as if he'd popped out of the ground.

"Hello, young man." Young man. Remus smiled. "I take it you're here for a wand." The man had piercing blue eyes, almost watery, and his voice was deep, captivating, seemingly hypnotic.

"Um... yes." Ollivander nodded and retreated into an aisle, disappearing among the shelves of wands. He reappeared a second later holding a rectangular-shaped box. He opened it, picked up the wand from within, and handed it to Remus.

"Try this one," he offered. "Holly and Unicorn hair. Eleven inches." Remus held it in his hand, flicked it, and jumped back as the pile of wand boxes on the counter top flew off. Ollivander took the wand away and handed him another.

"Chestnut and Phoenix feather. Ten inches." Remus had barely raised the wand before Ollivander had snatched it back. "No, not that one..." he muttered under his breath. "This one." He handed another wand to Remus, who only held it for a second before Ollivander had taken it back and started searching for another one.

Remus went through another three wands, each instance playing out the same way. Ollivander would hand him a wand and then grab it back almost as soon as Remus had taken it. Lyall had once told him about the wands. It was immediately obvious when the wand was right for you. You barely had to touch it to know, so Ollivander's erratic behaviour at least made a bit of sense to him. It was no less disorientating though.

Eventually, Ollivander handed him another wand.

"How about this one. Ten and a quarter inches. Cypress and Unicorn hair." Remus took it, and almost immediately he felt a warmthness spread through his fingers. Shiny, silver sparks fizzled gently around the tip of the wand. It looked very pretty. Ollivander smiled. "At last, eh? It seems that you have finally been chosen." At Remus's confused look, Ollivander elaborated. "The wand chooses the wizard. Such has always been the case. Your wand has chosen you." He handed the now sealed box back to Remus. "Treat it well."

"Thank you," replied Remus, still vaguely hypnotised by this mysterious man.

His parents, who had been sitting quietly near the door, walked up to the counter to complete the transaction, and finally, after what felt like much longer than it had actually been, they were able to leave the dark shop and return into the sunshine filled street outside.

The crowds were starting to filter out as the Sun rose higher into the sky, and Remus felt more optimistic than ever since these last few months. He had all his things ready for Hogwarts. He had his owl, his robes, and his wand— wrapped in the rectangular shaped box that he was holding tightly onto. For the first time in eleven years, Remus finally felt like a proper wizard.