James stood over Crowler's shocked and collapsed figure with a wide, disturbed looking grin. The duel had been won, and Slifer had vanished, leaving behind a defeated Crowler and a happy James. Everyone in the stands was too shocked to outwardly react. Had they seriously just witnessed some random applicant summon one of the legendary Egyptian Gods? It was too crazy to believe. James deactivated her duel gear and breathed a subtle sigh of relief when she processed that Crowler was still on the same plane of existence as her.
'Oh thank god, Slifer didn't kill him. I am not in the mood to get arrested because the god inhabiting a magical piece of cardboard woke up and chose violence this morning.', James thought snarkily.
Then two security guards entered the arena area and began to make their way over to her menacingly. James knew this was probably because she had used a card that was supposed to belong exclusively to the best duel monsters player in the world, and that she would likely have a lot of explaining to do with whoever was in the hot seat because she decided to be dramatic. So, with the widest grin she could muster on her face, James ran over to the middle of the arena and spread her arms out dramatically.
"And that's a wrap, folks! Thank you for coming out to see me wipe the floor with the school mascot! Before I go, I'd like to dedicate my victory to the gorgeous man I spoke to before I started this duel! You know who you are!", James exclaimed. Everyone just kept staring at her, except for Chazz, who knew that James was referring to him and had turned redder than Slifer. The security guards got closer, and James knew she had to wrap up what she was about to say. Quickly.
"Woah, would ya look at the time! Looks like it's time to go deal with the shit storm I probably just caused with the higher-ups! Seto Kaiba will not be pleased! See ya later, folks! Oh wow, you guys are strong! You do this often?", James yelled as she pretended to check her watch, before being unceremoniously hoisted into the air by her arms by the two very done looking security guards, who did not respond to her question. James's grin remained unflinching. She was then carted off towards the exit, but not before she was able to get a few more words out.
"Remember folks, if I don't come back alive this is legally considered a cover up~!", James chirped happily with a wave toward her audience, and then with the sliding of an automatic door, she was gone. For a while, no one moved. No one spoke. Then, a single sentence seemed to echo throughout the Kaiba Dome when a very bewildered Chazz Princeton spoke up.
"What the actual fuck?"
—-
James was swiftly dragged from the Kaiba Dome and into a black limousine. She was then driven to another, very tall building with the letters 'K.C' plastered at the top. It didn't take a genius to realize where she was. James was quickly ushered out of the limousine, this time by two men in black suits that could have passed off as Pegasus's mooks from Duelist Kingdom. James grinned when she was once again hoisted up by her arms and noticed that one of the mooks had the same outrageous thumbtack hairstyle as Tristan Taylor. The universe really was making her Yugioh abridged references too easy.
"Oh no, your hair is taking me to an unknown location!", James exclaimed in an exaggerated tone. The man with the outrageous hair sighed in annoyance.
"Kid, can you please shut up?", the man asked in a long suffering voice that said he already knew the answer to his question. James stuck her tongue out at him, too content with being her usual gremlin-self to stop now.
"No.", she replied bluntly. The man sighed, but said nothing else. James was then toted into the Kaiba building (where the people in the lobby were way too cool about a teenage girl being carried in against her will by two big burly guys in suits. James wondered if that was part of the reason the big five got away with so much bullshit in the OG Yugioh series… ), and into an elevator, where she spent several minutes singing along to the elevator music (it was Stayin' Alive by Bee Gees) in the most annoying way possible, causing her captors to look like they were going to blow a blood vessel. James snickered at their reactions.
Eventually, the elevator dinged and opened on the top floor, which was extremely corporate looking with every outer wall being made entirely of windows and unnecessary plants and benches everywhere. James was dragged to the double doors of some important looking office, and again, it didn't take a genius to figure out who it belonged to. The mook with the outrageous hair knocked on the door quietly.
"Enter.", the familiar voice of Seto Kaiba called out emotionlessly. The mooks then opened the door, hauled James inside, and practically threw her onto the leather chair in front of Kaiba's desk. The CEO folded his hands in front of his face and narrowed his eyes at James, the blue light of his open laptop reflecting across his face.
"Leave.", Kaiba said, and the mooks both then left without a word, leaving James alone in the ridiculously dark office with quite possibly one of the most iconic assholes in all of the Yugioh franchise.
There was silence. Kaiba stared at James. James stared at Kaiba. Blue met gold. James began to sweat slightly. She needed to say something, and soon, or else she would sound suspicious. Without giving away any of her true concerns (or her elation at meeting another one of her childhood crushes in person for the first time), James sighed and tried to look as inconvenienced as possible.
"So, on a scale of one to ten, how badly have I fucked up?", James questioned in a serious voice, skipping all of the demands and introductions and questions the CEO was surely expecting. Kaiba blinked at the girl's words. He hadn't expected her to get straight to the point like that. The man remained concerningly silent for a moment, and then he spoke.
"An eleven. It's a miracle you didn't kill anyone with that card. Though, I wouldn't say it's your fuck up so much as it is Yugi's for somehow mixing up an Egyptian God card with a damned Winged Kuriboh.", Kaiba replied. James raised a curious eyebrow. That was a surprisingly mellow reaction in response to all the possible problems she had just caused.
"So you're not going to throw me in your sex dungeon for nearly destroying one of your corporate properties as a result of trying to be a dramatic bitch?", James questioned probingly. Kaiba glared at her.
"No. And I do not have a sex dungeon. That's Pegasus's thing.", Kaiba said, and James couldn't stop herself from laughing.
"Wow, who knew Mr. Resting-Bitch-Face could crack a joke every now and again?", James jabbed casually, as if she were talking to a long term friend of hers and not one of the most powerful men in Japan. Kaiba rolled his eyes at her.
"Yes well, everyone needs a sense of humor. If I didn't have one, I would have snapped years ago.", the brunette responded. James smirked at him.
"Good to know you're not all biting insults, then. Man, how do you get anything done in here? This room is darker than my sense of humor.", James criticized as she got up and walked around the office, because if she could get away with bantering with the man, then she could get away with speaking her mind. Kaiba snorted and made no move to stop her from moving around.
"Funny, my brother says the same thing. He thinks I need more vitamin d.", Kaibe remarked, and James snorted as well as she walked behind Kaiba and looked at the window wall behind him. She was searching for the drawstring for the blinds.
"He's probably right. I mean, sitting in the dark all day with nothing but a laptop screen for light can't possibly be good for you.", James said with a shake of her head, before promptly pulling the drawstring when she found it and exposing Kaiba's office to the light of day. Kaiba then reacted in a way James hadn't been expecting; he fucking hissed like a cat and curled away from the light in his tall-back swivel chair. James gaped at this.
"Jesus fuck, Kaiba! You good?!", James exclaimed, because of all the Yugioh characters she expected to hiss at the light of day like they were an overdramatic vampire, Seto Kaiba was not one of them. Kaiba then gained a bewildered expression, blinked, and glared at James fiercely.
"You didn't see that.", he told her, knowing he would never live it down if what he just did went public. James continued to stare for a moment, then laughed and shook her head at the man's antics. Why did anyone in the series think he was intimidating again? He was basically a cat with a dragon fetish.
"You need to go outside and touch grass, my dude.", she told him, before making the objectively terrible decision of swaggering over and plopping herself onto the lap of the world's second best duelist like she was his lover.
It was a choice that may or may not possibly get her into deep shit for both legal and personal reasons, James would admit, but the girl was willing to take that risk to get up close and personal with Mr. Blue-Eyes-White-Dragon-Kink himself. He was one of the hottest guys she had ever seen, after all. It would be a crime not to try something with him. Kaiba, much to her surprise, did not react negatively. He just gaped at her in shock. He had apparently not been expecting her to do that. James smirked at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I think we skipped introductions, so let's circle back to those. My name is James McKenna, but you probably already know that from your all-knowing database or whatever. And I already know who you are, too. Because you're Seto freaking Kaiba, and everyone knows who you are.", James said in a perfectly confident tone. Kaiba quickly wiped the gobsmacked expression off his face and forced himself to glare at her.
"Get off of my lap.", he demanded in a voice with no real malice behind it. He cursed himself. He sounded like he was scolding Mokuba and not trying to demand a strange woman stop touching him. James's smirk widened.
"No.", she refused simply. Kaiba narrowed his eyes.
"Get off of my lap.", he repeated. James stuck her tongue out at him in a cute way.
"No can do, Kaiba-boy.", she told him. Kaiba shivered, recalling the last person who referred to him by that horrendous nickname.
"Never call me that again.", Kaiba ordered, and James continued to look just as cocky as ever.
"No.", she responded. Kaiba glared at her with what he thought was intensity, but James could clearly see it was embarrassment.
"I hate you.", Kaiba told her bluntly, which in Kaiba-speak meant 'you're pretty alright'. James grinned at the man.
"No, no you don't.", she told him, and Kaiba sighed in frustration, because he knew she was right.
"Meeting you in person was a mistake. That's the last time I do that dweeb Yugi any favors.", the CEO complained, but James only smirked in response and tilted his chin up so he would look her in the eye.
"I think I like you.", she told him. Kaiba scowled, seeing the less than platonic subtext of her words.
"We met thirty minutes ago.", he argued. James raised an eyebrow.
"And? You're hot, snarky and you haven't attempted to shove me onto the floor once since I claimed your lap as a chair. To me, that's as good as a marriage proposal.", James argued back. She was having an absolute blast talking with someone as witty as Kaiba, who could go blow-to-blow with her for remarks and sass. A small blush tinted Kaiba's cheeks and he gave the girl an annoyed look.
"That last part can change.", he threatened. James gave him a patronizing smirk.
"No it won't.", she denied, and Kaiba felt even more frustrated because he knew she was right again. James grinned widely and brought the man's face dangerously close to her own.
"You and I could rule the world together.", she pitched in a seductive whisper. Kaiba gave her a dry look.
"I'm not interested.", he rejected. James thought about a way to rephrase her offer to get him to accept it.
"We could rule the world of duel monsters together.", she said. Kaiba smiled darkly.
"Okay now I'm interested.", he said in an approving voice. It was then that their flirty banter was interrupted by someone opening the office door.
"Kaiba, did you find- ?", Yugi started to ask as he walked through the door, only to go silent in shock when he saw a sight he had never expected to see in all his life; Seto Kaiba with a girl in his lap. More importantly, Seto Kaiba with the girl he had given Slifer to in his lap. Kaiba glared at him, and James looked unphased.
"What have I told you about knocking dweeb?", Kaiba snarked. Yugi continued to stare at the CEO and the girl in bewilderment.
"I-why is she in your lap?", Yugi asked, still unable to believe what he was seeing as he weakly pointed at James. James gave him a dry look.
"Because I wanted to be.", she responded simply. Yugi kepting staring, and James sighed in irritation before standing up. Kaiba gave her an annoyed look, and James responded by doing something that floored both him and Yugi; she kissed the man on the forehead. James sighed in exasperation and shook her head.
"Drama queen.", the girl muttered fondly. James then took a seat in the leather chair she had been thrown into when she arrived at the office, and kicked her feet up on the desk with her hands behind her head. She shot Yugi a cocky grin.
"So, we gonna talk about the shit storm we both just collectively caused or you just gonna stand there staring at me like I'm acting crazier than usual?"
—-
The next fifteen minutes consisted of Yugi explaining to James how she had ended up with Slifer, and by the end of it, the girl was left laughing. Leave it to her weird-ass luck to help her end up with a god card on accident. Yugi gave James a confused look.
"Why are you laughing?", he asked, honestly not seeing any humor in their situation. James smirked at him.
"Because of course only my life could have such a cosmically hilarious joke in it. But moving on from that, I'm assuming you want Slifer back? Having one of the most powerful cards in duel monsters in the hands of some 'unknown rookie' isn't exactly good PR, after all.", James asked, her smirk falling and her face turning serious. Yugi gave her a small smile.
"Actually, I was thinking you could keep it. You showed some real skill out there, and I think Slifer would prefer an owner who uses him instead of just leaving him in a deck box twenty-four seven.", Yugi refuted, and James blinked at him in bewilderment.
'That was… huh. I was not expecting that. I honestly expected him to yell at me for even using it or something. Eh, this is better anyways. But this situation does beg the question… ', James trailed off mentally, before raising a curious eyebrow at Yugi.
"Wait a second, I thought the God Cards vanished years ago when you stopped wearing that weird pyramid around your neck. So how were you able to give me Slifer in the first place?", James inquired, recalling the events at the end of the original Yugioh series and phrasing her question to make it so she sounded as out-of-the-loop as possible and would arouse suspicion.
After the pharoh's final duel, the Millennium Items and the God Cards both went 'poof' with him. She hadn't thought about it earlier because she was more focused on getting into Duel Academy than about the canon constituency of the existence of certain cards, but now that she thought about it, it didn't make any sense. Yugi stared at her in shock for pointing this out, and Kaiba smirked at her.
'So she noticed that the God Cards went missing, huh? She's clever for figuring that one out, I'll give her that.', the CEO thought, praising the girl because she wasn't as dweebish as the morons he usually had to deal with and not because he was attracted to her. Nope, not at all.
Yugi shook his head and quickly fired off an explanation.
"The original copies of the God Cards went missing in an… incident nearly a decade ago, but Maximillion Pegasus made a new set of copies shortly afterwards at my and several others' request. We didn't want the cards to disappear entirely in case there was ever a need for them again.", Yugi explained, recalling about how he and the Ishtars had to practically beg Pegasus to make new God Cards. Even with the Millenium Items and Zorc gone, they were all still paranoid that some great threat might pop up again, and they wanted to have the means to fight it. James nodded in understanding.
'So the God Cards aren't good here, huh? Interesting. That's quite a deviation from canon, which means that nothing from the original Yugioh series is set in stone. I'll have to be on the lookout for any other changes from the anime.', James thought as Yugi gained a slightly worried and confused expression.
"But how did you know the God Cards were missing? I never released that information to the public.", Yugi questioned urgently. James rolled her eyes at his words.
"Oh, that was quite easy. You see, I'm not an idiot.", James replied dryly, thinking that Yugi was way too shocked over her putting two and two together. Kaiba chuckled.
"Yes, that would do it.", the brunette said, and Yugi looked at him with mild offense, not knowing why he was even surprised anymore by the man's scathing remarks. James smirked and pointed at Kaiba.
"See, he gets it. But moving on from that, we have more important things to discuss than the little details of who knows what… like whether or not I got into your fancy-ass school, Kaiba.", James stated, and Kaiba turned his laptop back on and started typing on it.
"You got in. You beat the vice chancellor when he was using his personal deck, if anything you should be made a teacher. You'll be an Obelisk and get all the perks that come with it.", Kaiba told the girl. James smiled smugly at the praise.
"Fine by me, just make sure I don't have to wear one of those ugly-ass mini skirts. Why would you make those things mandatory?", James asked him with a frown. She had nothing against girls who wore skirts and girly clothes, but James would rather spend eternity in the Shadow Realm than wear a skirt shorter than the screen time of most female characters in Yugioh. Kaiba frowned.
"I didn't, that was Sheppard's doing. And it isn't mandatory. Girls can wear the boy's uniform and boys can wear the girl's uniform. It's just mandatory that you wear a uniform in the first place.", Kaiba explained. James smirked. She had an idea.
"Well in that case, do you mind hooking me up with a personalized uniform? The guy's Obelisk uniform is fine and all, but I just can't see myself pulling off a deep blue trench coat. That's more your style.", James said, and Kaiba contemplated her request.
"I don't see why not. What did you have in mind?", Kaiba agreed, shocking Yugi. Kaiba wasn't one to do special requests for people, especially ones he had just met. James grinned at the man.
"I was thinking I could wear the male Slifer uniform with gold accents on the blazer instead of white, and I can wear a blue bandana wrapped around one of my arms to let people know I'm in Obelisk.", James suggested, and Kaiba nodded as he did some more typing.
"I'll put the order in for a few of those jackets and a couple of blue bandanas. What size do you wear?", the brunette man asked, and the conversation quickly devolved into hashing out the details about the clothing order and filling out information to put on James's student file. Yugi watched the casual conversation in awkward surprise, not really sure how to react to Seto Kaiba acting so… normal, especially with someone he barely knew. Eventually, after a particularly long debate over whether or not the jackets should have brass buttons, all the necessary information was gathered and James got ready to leave.
"Well, I should probably get going if I wanna catch the chopper to Academy Island. It was nice seeing you again, Yugi.", James told the shorter man as she got up and put her coat on, which she had taken off after she and Kaiba started arguing about sleeve length. Yugi smiled and nodded at her.
"The pleasure was mine. I expect to be seeing more of you after this. You did vow to take my title, after all.", Yugi reminded. James grinned at him.
"Yeah, I did. And I don't go back on my vows, so watch out!", James said, and Yugi laughed before leaving out this door. Once he was gone. James then turned her attention to Kaiba, who was watching her intently. James pulled a card out of her pocket.
"Here. To finally complete your set after literal decades trying to get four of these little shits. Think of it as compensation for all the trouble I've caused you.", she told him. Kaiba raised an eyebrow and took the card, his eyes widening in shock when he saw what card it was. It was a Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
"What? How the hell did you get this?!", Kaiba asked her, knowing the only Blue-Eyes White Dragon card he didn't have was with Solomon Moto. James smirked at him.
"Magic, that's how.", she lied, knowing she couldn't exactly just tell the guy she bought it on Ebay. James didn't want to reveal she wasn't from the world of Yugioh just yet. It was a can of worms she wasn't willing to open until she felt a little more situated. Kaiba scoffed and glared at her.
"Bullshit.", he responded. James laughed at his blunt remark.
"Yeah, you're right. I won't tell you exactly how I got it, but just know Solomon Moto still has his Blue Eyes and I got this card legally. And it's not a counterfeit, either. You can play it in tournaments and it should work.", James assured the man with (slightly false) confidence.
'At least, I think it doesn't count as a counterfeit. I mean, I used cards from my world and they didn't register as fake in my duel against Crowler. But those were mostly common cards in this world, and the only card I used that wasn't normal was Slifer, and that one is from this world. And not to mention the fact that my duel disk is from the Zexal anime, not GX, and is heavily modified. Christ, all these outlying factors are making playing a children's card game way harder than it needs to be… ', James thought with exasperation. Kaiba closely examined the card, looking for any sign that it might be fake. When he found none, he looked at James with seriousness and reverence.
"Marry me.", he proposed with the utmost severity. James choked on her spit and cackled, thinking he was joking.
"A nice offer, but no thanks Drama Queen. I've got too many things I wanna do before I can tie the knot with anyone; one of those things being that I have to rule Duel Academy. Which reminds me, can you do me another favor?", James requested. Kaiba raised an eyebrow.
"What kind of favor?", he asked. James smirked at him.
"I need you to make sure a rumor floats around that I gave Slifer back to Yugi.", James said. Kaiba tilted his head.
"And why would you want me to do that?", he questioned. James's smirk widened.
"Because if everyone in school thinks I have a practically unbeatable God Card in my deck, no one will want to duel me because they'll just assume they have no chance of winning. Trust me when I say that there are only like, five people in that school ballsy enough or stupid enough to duel someone who they know has a God Card, and at least three of those people are still very iffy. I'm going to Duel Academy for various reasons, but one of the main ones is to kick ass in duels. And I can't exactly do that if no one wants to duel me in the first place, now can I?", James elaborated, and Kaiba contemplated her words before realizing she was right.
"You have a point. Alright, I'll make sure word gets out that Yugi took Slifer back.", Kaiba agreed. James grinned.
"Fantastic. I'll see ya later then, Kaiba. I've gotta date with Duell Academy!", James exclaimed excitedly as she went to leave. Kaiba smirked at her retreating form.
"Goodbye, James. I hope you consider my offer.", he said, referring to his impromptu marriage proposal earlier.
He knew it was random, but Kaiba hadn't been playing around. Every single woman who had expressed any sort of romantic interest in him was either after his fame, his money or both, and even when they weren't, they just weren't interesting to him. But James… James was interesting. James was unpredictable, and smart. She had spent the few hours he had known her for keeping him on his toes, and Kaiba found he liked that about her. He knew it was way too soon for marriage as James had said, but dating wasn't off the table for him. James chuckled at his words and shook her head.
"Take me out to dinner first and then we'll talk, Kaiba. And FYI, I'm seventeen and my next birthday is in seven months.", James told the man with a smirk. She thought he was hot as hell and dating him would be a dream come true for her, don't get her wrong, but she was underage still and a rich CEO dating an underage girl wouldn't exactly reflect well on Kaiba or Kaiba Corp. in general, especially if the tabloids caught wind of it. Kaiba's smirk widened.
"Then I'll see you at a fine dining establishment in seven months.", he said, and James gave him a wide grin.
"I'll be looking forward to it.", she said, and then she left without another word. Once she was out the door, James opened her backpack and grinned down at her various decks.
"Phase one of my plan for world domination, 'getting into Duel Academy', is complete. Phase two, 'make every student in that school cry for their momma', is a go. Let's see how those little shits fair against summons they haven't even heard of.", James muttered to herself with a dark chuckle.
She was gonna have some fun.
And here's the next chapter. Fair warning, as I've said before, this fic is going to disregard a lot of Yugioh canon. The God Cards are still around, and I'm thinking about having the Millenium items make a reappearance, so be on the look out for that. I had a lot of fun writing the banter between Kaiba and James. This whole chapter was basically just them vibing while Yugi was standing awkwardly in the background, confused by the fact that Kaiba can actually be attracted to things that aren't children's card games or Blue-Eyes White Dragons like wtf. Next time, more extremely questionable decisions and arrival chaos!
So long and Goodnight, Thackery Binx.