James laid with her eyes closed against her fully leaned back seat. She was in the academy chopper, on her way to the boarding school with the most weird and occasionally dangerous shit happening at it since Hogwarts. She had no one sitting beside her, since she was sitting by the window and there was only one seat to her left that was currently occupied by her backpack filled with duel-destroying decks and money wadded up in such a precarious manner it probably looked like it had come from a robbed store. James sighed as she ignored the peons chatting around her, and listened to her music through her earbuds. The ride was peaceful and James wasn't on a helicopter with any familiar characters, so she didn't feel obligated to talk to anyone. After a while of sitting peacefully, James felt something long and warm lay on her shoulders. The black haired girl smiled and petted the thing without opening her eyes.

'Yeah yeah Slifer, we're almost there.', James thought as she petted the creature.

James was well aware that Duel Spirits were Jaden's (and eventually Chazz and Johan's thing), and knew that as the new 'main character' of sorts, she would probably need a lot of Jaden's abilities to get anything done moving forward. She had known all this, but imagine her surprise when she felt something warm and scaly curl itself around her protectively as she left the Kaiba Corp. building. It had been a much smaller version of Silfer, who had apparently become her Duel Spirit, like Winged Kuriboh had been for Jaden.

Slifer, unlike the fire-and-brimstone biblical horror that was shown in Pegasus's dreams in the anime, was basically a cat in the body of a dragon. He had shrunk himself down to plushy size for James's convenience, and was basically a glorified danger noodle that liked to demand cuddles at random intervals. He didn't talk, only occasionally making low growling sounds to answer yes or no questions. James hadn't freaked out too much upon finding out about the spirit that had attached itself to her. She had expected to get a spirit, after all, just not one of an Egyptian God Card.

Nonetheless, Slifer had proven to be a good companion/animal sidekick so far, so James was inclined to keep him around. As she stroked her Duel Spirit, a voice could be heard announcing something over the helicopter's intercom.

"Attention new Duel Academy students. If you look outside your windows you'll see your new home away from home. Now now, I know you're excited, but don't shove. Quite a sight, aye? Now then, fasten your seatbelts and set your seats back to an upright position. We're going in to land. Next stop, Academy Island.', the voice of the most tired and done sounding man James had ever heard said monotony. James kept her seat leaned back and didn't bother with her seatbelt, because she was a Bad Girl™, and barely glanced out her window at the island and the smoking volcano on it below. As she did this, her first thought was;

'Who fuck's name builds a boarding school on the same island as an active volcano? Trick question, Seto fucking Kaiba. AKA the same high IQ dumbass that thought creating a school dedicated to learning how to play a freaking children's card game was a good business decision. He probably thinks the volcano 'builds character' or some shit. Kaiba Corp. is gonna get sued into the ground by pissed off rich parents after all the Shadow Riders nonsense starts, that's for sure. I swear, sometimes I wonder why I'm attracted to that anime-mullet-having weirdo.', James ranted in her mind. Then she remembered Kaiba's sexy 'I'm about to fuck you over' smirk.

'Oh yeah, that's why I'm attracted to him. And now I've got a date lined up with him for after I'm legal! Score!', James exclaimed mentally with a proud grin on her face. She fist pumped, making Slifer look at her curiously and everyone else look at her oddly. James opened her eyes and noticed this, so she quickly glared at the staring parties.

"The fuck are you assholes looking at?", James questioned threateningly. Everyone quickly avoided looking at her and nervously returned to what they were doing beforehand, not wanting to incur the wrath of the girl who beat Crowler in a duel. She may not have Slifer anymore, but those Elemental Heroes of hers were still scary. James scoffed at their cowardice.

'Yeah that's right, look away you pansies.', James mocked internally. They were all probably thinking about how she could wipe the floor with them in a duel, but losing children's card games should be the least of their worries.

See, James didn't exactly have the cleanest record back on earth. She hadn't spent any time in juvie, thank god, but she had definitely gotten up to some shit. Most of it involving feral animals, medieval weaponry, civil war cannons and hotwiring cars. It didn't help that she had a drinking problem despite only being seventeen, either. Most of her shenanigans had happened while she was drunk off her ass.

James partially blamed her behavior on her grandparents, who were both very 'take no shit' kind of people and had records themselves. They had raised James to be weird as shit and tough as nails, and while she loved them dearly, she had to admit that they had turned a blind eye to a lot of her antics a few too many times in the law's opinion, even encouraging a few habits. Like the drinking. James's grandfather Tim would buy her a bottle of vodka from the liquor store everytime she got an A on a test after she started high school. It was part of the reason James even liked vodka in the first place, and the main driving force behind her perfect grades.

Basically, James wasn't the type of person the people at Duel Academy wanted to mess with, in a duel or outside of one. Because if she couldn't wipe the floor with someone in a duel, then she could wipe the floor with them using a baseball bat, a bottle of vodka and the spirit of John Wick, and she was not afraid to turn to violence if the peaceful method of children's card games failed to pan out.

In short, Duel Academy was fucked in every way possible.

Just as James started contemplating the merits of pulling out the bat she 'borrowed' (read: stole) from some sports shop on her way to the chopper, the helicopter started to land. James sighed and went back to stroking Slifer like she was some kind of Bond villain.

'Oh well.', she thought off-handedly.

'There will be plenty of kneecaps to bust later. Which reminds me, I should probably get the Shadow Rider bullshit out of the way early on. I should definitely get Banner out of the way first. Maybe I can hogtie him and send him to Kaiba for safe keeping… ', James continued to think, before laughing to herself as the chopper finished landing. Everyone looked at her weirdly for the sudden sound.

'That would certainly be a sight to see; a really funny one. If only Banner were my type, then it would be a really sexy one!'

—-

In an office on Academy Island, a glasses-wearing man with long black hair tied back in a ponytail sneezed as he finished writing something down on a piece of paper. He rubbed his nose and looked up from his work curiously.

"I have the strangest feeling someone is thinking of doing less than kind things to me… ', Banner trailed off worriedly. His cat Pharaoh jumped onto his desk, looking utterly unconcerned with the worries of his owner.

"Mrrow.", the cat said. Banner sighed at his cat's antics.

—-

Once the chopper landed, James and the other passengers were ushered into a random lecture hall for orientation, which was just a prerecorded video of Chancellor Sheppard giving them the low down of the school hierarchy. It was exactly as it was in the anime; Obelisk was on top, Ra was in the middle, and Slifer was at the bottom. Even though she already knew all of this, James couldn't stop herself from chuckling when she heard it.

'Leave it to Kaiba to put the dorm named after his favorite God Card on top, and the dorm themed after Yugi's favorite God Card on bottom. I mean really, Obelisk isn't even the most powerful God Card, but he put it on top anyways and put the actual most powerful God Card in the middle of the hierarchy, and then he put Slifer at the very bottom with the worst living conditions just because he wanted to be petty. If that doesn't radiate Seto Kaiba energy I don't know what does.', James thought as Sheppard's recording droned on.

After being forced to watch half an hour of prerecorded bullshit, James and the other new students were taken to another lecture hall to collect their uniforms. Everyone got in a line in front of a table depending on which dorm they had been told they were assigned to by the staff, but James was pulled off to the side by a man who looked suspiciously like the thumbtack haired guy that had helped to abduct her. James raised an eyebrow at the man.

"So I assume your hair is here to give me my custom uniform while screaming 'attention duelists'?", James questioned sarcastically. The man sighed tiredly.

"Kid, if you don't stop making those hair jokes, I'm gonna quit working for Kaiba Corp. just to spite you.", the man told her. James scoffed.

"I somehow doubt that. And what are you doing working for Kaiba Corp. in the first place? Aren't you one of Pegasus's goons? Shouldn't you be on his island helping him do whatever it is outrageously flamboyant rich people do in their free time?", James inquired curiously, having just remembered who the man was. He was Kemo, one of Pegasus's henchmen from Duelist Kingdom. She hadn't remembered him when she first saw him because he wasn't a very relevant character, but now that she was seeing him again she remembered who he was solely because of all the jokes about him in the abridged series. Kemo gave her an annoyed look.

"I was one of his goons, until I realized Kaiba Corp. pays better and Mokuba Kaiba apparently doesn't hate me for doing my job and kidnapping him during Duelist Kingdom. I do the same work I used to do with Pegasus for Kaiba, only without all the illegal stuff and with twice the employee benefits.", Kemo explained. James nodded at him with an appreciative look.

"Well good for you. So do you have my uniform or not?", James said sincerely. Kemo nodded and held a bag out to her.

"Yep, everything's in here. Oh, and Mr. Kaiba told me to tell you 'please leave my school in one piece'.", the tall man said. James laughed.

"I make no promises.", she said ominously. Kemo sighed again and left, and James went over to the nearest bathroom to change. Once she was done, she admired herself in the mirror with a smirk.

Her uniform was exactly how she had imagined it; the blazer was the same deep red as the Slifer blazer, with the accents being a dark gold instead of bright white. James was grateful that Kaiba had made sure the shades of yellow were dulled down so she didn't end up looking like Ronald McDonald in her new uniform. The bandana around her arm was a dark blue and didn't clash with the blazer. James found she didn't mind the uniform.

'Cruella De Vil who? Miranda Priestly who? Nah bitch, it's James McKenna! I'm the queen of style!', James exclaimed in her head as she admired her outfit again, before leaving the bathroom and heading to collect her school issued PDA from yet another lecture hall. She wondered why they couldn't just hand out all that stuff to the students all at once. Once she grabbed her PDA, James made a break for the building exit and took a seat by one of the decorative stone slabs of monster cards in the courtyard. James leaned against the Dark Magician engraved on the stone behind her as she fiddled with her piece of outdated technology.

'I take back what I said earlier about this place having modern technology. No one I know has used a PDA since 2007. Then again, this anime did take place in 2004… before I was even born. Eh whatever, I'll just use my smartphone. It's still getting signal, so I assume I can still communicate with it. If anyone asks questions, I'll just spew bullshit at them like I did with my duel disk. Speaking of duel disks, I may not have liked Arc-v that much as an anime, but they did have sick-ass solid holograms. I wonder if I can get someone smart to help me create Arc-v technology using the Zexal tech in my duel disk?', James pondered, thinking about how cool it would be to ride around on the backs of her dragon cards like she was Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon, but then she frowned.

James was crazy, not stupid. She knew she had to be realistic with what she could and couldn't accomplish. Arc-v tech would probably be damn near impossible for her to make without the help of some super genius, and where the hell was she going to find one of those? (Excluding Kaiba, because James was not in the mood to hash out the ownership and selling rights she didn't even technically make with the guy who was taking her out on a date in seven months). It wasn't like the answer to all her problems was just going to walk up to her for casual conversation!

But it seemed that Ra and his buddies took pity on her sorry ass, because the next thing James knew, the answer to all her problems walked up to her for casual conversation. And his name was Bastion Misawa. James grinned when she saw the boy walking over to her.

"Hello answer to all my problems… ", James muttered darkly as schemes started to concoct themselves in her head. James shot up off the ground and dashed over to Bastion with her arms wide open and a big grin on her face.

"Bastion, there you are! Praise the God Cards, I've found you at last!", James exclaimed excitedly, garnering the confusion of Bastion and the bewilderment of the other students in the courtyard. Bastion had been on his way to talk to his self-imposed rival, but apparently she had beaten him to the punch… and somehow knew who he was despite him never speaking to her before. Bastion was about to speak to her, but jumped a little when an arm was wrapped around his shoulders unexpectedly. Bastion turned bright red when he saw that James's face was extremely close to his, with burning eyes and a scheming smirk.

"I'm James McKenna, but I'm sure you already know that. Just like I already know that you're the genius who got the second highest scores on the written exams, beaten only by yours truly. And boy do I have a proposal for you, wizkid.", James said as she started walking away from the courtyard with her arm still around Bastion, not wanting to be overheard. Bastion, deciding it was best to just roll with the punches, raised an eyebrow at the girl's words.

"What kind of proposal?", he inquired, wondering what idea someone just as smart (if not smarter) than him had come up with. James's smirk widened.

"I've got two words for you, my highly intelligent friend; solid. Holograms.", James revealed dramatically, emphasizing each of the two hyped-up words. Bastion's eyes lit up with intrigue.

"I'm listening.", Bastion said. James grinned widely. She had him.

—-

After several hours of animated talking and analyzing her duel disk in Bastion's dorm room, James and her new pet scientist (because that was what Bastion was, even if he didnt know it yet) had discovered that yes, solid holograms were possible. They would just need to make copies of the Zexal tech parts in her duel disk with Bastion's 3D printer and scrapped parts from other duel disks that James was planning to acquire through… less than legal means (she only had so much money, okay?). Not that Bastion knew that, of course. She didn't want to break the poor boy.

James was slightly surprised to find that Bastion was actually fun to hang around. He wasn't all equations and studying like the anime had made him out to be, and had a dry sort of humor tht James found utterly hysterical. It seemed her hopes of being best buddies with the brightest boy in her year wouldn't just be hopes for much longer, and now that they had a long-term pet project to work on together, they could be science bros instead of regular bros!

After talking shop with Bastion for several hours, James finally left the Ra dorm when she remembered that oh shit, she had a fancy welcome dinner to go to. James was tempted to just skip the Obelisk dinner all together and eat at the Ra dorm (she wanted to know if the dorm's food was really as good as that one filler episode had made it out to be), but then she also remembered that Chazz and Zane would both be there because they were also in Obelisk, and that was enough for her to go. But then James realized something.

'... I haven't showered since yesterday, and it's a miracle that no one has smelled the day-old vodka on my breath because I haven't brushed my teeth, either.'

Naturally, that was a problem she had to solve sooner rather than later. So James made a break for the Obelisk dorms, took a few seconds to awe over the fact that her dorm was a literal min-castle the size of Kaiba's ego like holy shit, and then collected her room key from her dorm mother in the common room, before making her way to her designated room. James was happy to discover that Obelisks didn't have to share rooms, and that each room had their own ensuite bathroom, but was then quickly made unhappy when she later discovered something else; when she went to take her shower, the water pressure was shit.

'Well, this just won't do.', James thought as she walked out of her shower and wrapped herself in a towel. She needed decent water pressure to take a shower, otherwise she would never get the smell of alcohol off of her (seriously, how had no one smelled it on her? Or had everyone been smelling it on her, and they were just too polite to say anything?).

So James threw her clothes back on and left her dorm to try and find the communal bath from that one episode where Cyrus broke into the Obelisk girl's dorm to try and get laid and failed miserably… only to discover that the communal baths wouldn't open until next week from a helpful staff member. James had given him a thankful smile for the information, but had been internally screaming at her luck.

"No decent shower, no bath access… this the pits! I refuse to go to a party smelling like booze! Everyone knows you're only supposed to leave a party smelling like booze! And it's not like I can bathe in the ocean! How the hell am I supposed to clean myself up?!", James grumbled as she paced back and forth in the empty hall the helpful staff member had just left. She was starting to get frustrated. Just as she was about to say 'screw it' and walk all the way back to the Ra dorms to ask Bastion if she could use his shower, Slifer appeared before her and pointed to the side with his tail. James blinked at the Duel Spirit in confusion.

"Huh? What is it, Slifer?", she asked. Slifer pointed to the side again, and James looked in the direction he was pointing. He was pointing out the window towards the boy's Obelisk dorm. James stared out the window for a moment, before grinning widely as an idea formed in her head.

"Of course! I can just break into one of the guy's rooms and use their shower! Slifer, you're a genius!", James exclaimed with glee, and Slifer sweatdropped at his owner's words. He was suggesting that she could ask someone if she could use their shower, but leave it to James to immediately jump to the most illegal conclusion possible in any situation. James started running towards the guy's dormitory with a wide grin.

'Now, who's room do I break into? I could bust into Zane's, but I don't want his first impression of me to be 'crazy chick that broke into my room to hijack my shower'. His first impression of me should just be 'crazy chick', anything else would be too much. That just leaves Chazz. He already knows I'm batshit crazy, so he won't be too put off by me breaking into his room! Hopefully… probably… maybe. Yeah, maybe.', James thought as she made her way to the boys' dormitory. Then she came to a skidding halt when she realized a glaring flaw in her once-flawless plan.

"Wait… where the fuck is Chazz's room anyway? And how the hell do I get in there in the first place?", James questioned as her grin fell. She thought about it for a moment, before her grin returned and she snapped her fingers. Slifer could almost see a light bulb above her head.

"I've got it!", James chirped with a conniving smile. Slifer began to feel nervous. He didn't like that look.

—-

Chazz entered his dorm room with a hefty sigh, before collapsing onto his perfectly made bed. He wanted to just curl up and sleep, but he knew he couldn't do that because of the stupid welcome dinner later. Chazz groaned. He had just arrived on the island, but he already felt sick of Duel Academy. Mostly because he had had way too many existential crises and epiphanies for one teenager to have in a single day.

After James had been dragged off by that pair of security guards, Crowler had leaped up off the ground and had the arena staff wrap up the exams as if nothing had happened. Chazz had been worried. He hadn't known James for long, but he knew he cared about her. He didn't want her to get hurt because of something as stupid as playing a card in a test duel. Chazz had tried to find out what had happened to James from the other security guards, even threatening to get several of them fired with his family's influence if they didn't fess up to what they knew, but they were all clueless. Even Crowler wasn't sure what had happened if what little Chazz had overheard him say was accurate.

After reluctantly boarding the chopper to Academy Island, Chazz had spent the entire time being annoyed by his 'lackeys' as James had called them. Initially, Chazz had been reluctant to call them that, but now he was starting to understand why James saw them that way. He hadn't noticed it before, but the way his Duel Prep School 'friends' talked to him was in a way that blatantly sucked up to him. Normally Chazz didn't mind when people sucked up to him, but when it was people he was supposed to consider his friends, it got really frustrating. Friends were supposed to be honest and have your back, right? So why was it all his prep school friends did was agree with things he said and use his money and influence to be assholes to other people? Chazz was starting to realize that his so-called 'friends' were nothing but sycophants. He had gotten so annoyed by them and their non stop talking that he ditched them the second the chopper landed.

And once the floodgates for thinking about his friendships opened, Chazz couldn't help but start thinking about his other relationships; like the one he had with his brothers. Their relationship was shit, but that was no fault of his own. Slade and Jagger were each over a decade older than him, and all they had ever done since Chazz was in the goddamn cradle was bully him and pressure him to be the best so he didn't ruin their precious plan for world domination. Chazz honestly didn't give a shit about 'the Princeton plan', now that he thought about it. All he wanted was to be accepted by his brothers, but that was clearly never happening. Slade and Jagger were like the wicked stepsisters in Cinderella, only instead of torturing Chazz with copious amounts of chores, they tortured him by putting the literal weight of the world on his shoulders.

And once his relationship with Slade and Jagger was brought into question, everything else was brought into question too. Did he even want to be a pro duelist? Chazz wanted to be a great duelist because it was something he actually wanted, he knew that much. But he was starting to wonder if he wanted to be the King of Games at all. And that brought James to the forefront of his memory.

"I've got plans. Plans for how I'm gonna become the next King of Games.", Chazz recalled James saying in some capacity before her duel. Chazz had scoffed at her then, but had quickly started to put stock into her words.

James wasn't like any girl Chazz had ever met before. She wasn't one of those rich snobby girls his brothers wanted him to hang around at parties and charity galas. She was a bit like his mother, who dressed sharp and had an even sharper tongue. But at the end of the day, James was James. Eccentric, smart, intimidating, beautiful, and crazy. And Chazz found he liked that quite a bit, and that he liked this crazy-beautiful girl much more than most of the people in his life.

Chazz wasn't a walk in the park, he was well aware of that. He knew he had issues (no thanks to his asshole brothers), and that he was a total jerk to most people, but no one could really blame him for that when he constantly had Slade and Jagger breathing down his neck to be the best of the best. Chazz knew that he had some kinks to work out, and that he didn't have the best rep, but James didn't know any of that. She only knew him as the boy she had talked to before her test duel. The boy she had told her dreams to. The boy she had called gorgeous. The boy she dedicated her duel to.

Chazz blushed as he remembered that little tidbit of information. No one had ever dedicated a duel to him before. No one had dedicated anything to him before. She probably thought of it as a small gesture, but to Chazz it was a big one. It made him wonder if she was interested in him romantically.

Chazz turned red as a tomato and buried his face into his pillows at the thought. James had practically been flirting with him for most of their conversation, but he had just figured that was how she was. And maybe it was, but damn him if it wasn't effective. Chazz sighed and came to a conclusion about what he was going to do regarding James. It was probably doomed to fail, and she would probably laugh him out the door if he tried, but he was going to ask her out as soon as he saw her. She was too interesting and too kind to him for him to just ignore the way he felt. It could be a puppy crush, or it could be love at first sight, but he knew it was something real. Then Chazz glanced up at the clock on his bedside table and groaned. He had almost forgotten he had a welcome dinner to go to in an hour. He didn't want to go, but Crowler had said it was mandatory, so he had to.

Chazz sat up with a determined expression on his face. James was his wake up call to examine his life and had opened his eyes to a lot of the bullshit happening around him (albeit indirectly), and he refused to let her be the one that got away because he was too chicken to ask her out. He was in the perfect position to get close to her. His asshole brothers weren't around to ruin their relationship, and he was about to ditch his sycophant lackeys (because they were lackeys). He was in a whole new place where barely anyone knew who he was, which normally would have annoyed him, but it was quickly turning into a golden opportunity. There was no one around to tell James how much of an asshole he was and deter her from being around him. He could use this as a chance to reinvent himself and become a better person, one that James will want to keep being around.

Chazz smiled as he walked towards his bathroom so he could take a shower. Yes, that was his plan. He would become a whole new man, a whole new Chazz. He would stop giving a shit what his brothers thought, and he would ditch his fake friends. Chaz fist pumped with a fiery gleam in his eye. He would become a man worthy of James's affection!

Just as he was about to open the door to his bathroom, Chazz heard something… odd. He couldn't hear it before because of how thick the doors and walls were (and because he was so lost in his own head), but it sounded like running water, and was that… singing?

Well you can tell by the way I use my walk~!

I'm a duelin' woman, no time to talk~!

Music loud and men warm, I've been kicked around since I was born~!

Chazz blinked in confusion at the sound of a woman's voice singing along to the altered lyrics of Stayin' Alive. He knew he should have been more concerned about a random person breaking into his room and using his bathroom, but the voice sounded… familiar.

Ah, ah, ah, ah~!

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive~!

Ah, ah, ah, ah~!

STAYIN' ALIVE~!

Chazz opened the door as the woman's song reached peak volume, getting frustrated because he couldn't figure out who the voice belonged to when he knew he had heard it before. Chazz was utterly shocked to find James, the girl he had literally vowed to profess his feelings to not even five minutes ago, taking a shower in his bathroom and still holding her high note on the last lyric of her song. She abruptly stopped holding the note when she saw Chazz, and then proceeded to stare at him in shock. Then, the pair did something entirely normal for their situation; they screamed.

"AHHHHHH!"

Another long-ass chapter for a fic no one asked for. If it wasn't obvious from my terrible explanation of James's duel disk tech, I have no clue how most technology works, especially the bullshit in Yugioh. I suck at tech-related stuff. I once nearly failed a digital graphics class my freshman year in high school because I sucked at using computers so much. Bastion is not a love interest, but he is our lunatic MC's science bro. Yes, our MC has a criminal record, and she's not afraid to throw hands. Think of her as Sam from iCarly, only drunker. Fun fact; a lot of the funny scenes in this fic are inspired by the Yugioh GX abridged series by ShadyVox, like James singing Stayin' Alive in the shower. In the abridged series, Crowler sang a Stayin' Alive parody like James's, but with way different lyrics. Look up the Yugioh GX abridged series, it's really funny and if you liked LittleKuriboh's, you'll like Shadyvox's. Next time, more Chazz favortism and chaos!

So long and Goodnight, Thackery Binx.