Holiday Vignettes - Well we have to get back to Earth somehow and not have it take a dozen chapters so here we go...
March 10, 2040
"Know what today is? Taylor asked Mark as he poured his coffee in the mess for breakfast.
"Today?" Mark asked. "I don't know anything right now. I haven't had my coffee yet. Leave me alone."
"But it's March 10th," she said excitedly. "Seriously you've got to help me figure out how we're going to celebrate."
"Michaels, 10 minutes… coffee… then talk!" he snapped.
She rolled her eyes and went back to eating her cereal as slowly as she could. When she'd eaten it all she slurped up the milk from the bottom of the bowl receiving another foul look from Mark. She then took her time to wash and rinse her bowl and spoon, then put them back in the appropriate places before turning. She leaned against the cupboards, crossed her arms, and watched Mark.
He simply sat staring into his cup of coffee, picked it up, drained it, and returned Taylor's look. "Okay, I'm almost human now.
"It's March the 10th," she said. "I would think you would know what that is."
"Me? Why me?"
"Cuz you're a nerd like me."
Mark shook his head but laughed. "March the 10th, okay, let me think. It sounds like it should be familiar, but it's not coming to me," he said.
"Think about it," she replied. "Think about what would happen if you wrote the abbreviation for March and 10 next to each other and what that looks like."
Mark sat thinking for a moment, and slowly a smile spread across his face. "It'sa me, Mario."
Taylor bounced a bit and grinned. "You got it," she crowed. "Now, how are we going to celebrate?"
"You mean other than walking around talking in really racist accents all day?"
"Yeah, that's a bad idea."
"Don't we have some sort of system attached to the TV… the screen… the… Yeah, that thing over there." he pointed across the room to the large screen hanging on the wall. I never really had the time to mess with it on the way here, not here, on the way to Mars. Sometimes I really think my brain isn't quite right anymore."
"Have you told that to Dr. Shields?"
"Kind of, it's in my logs. It hasn't come up other than that. It's not like we can have sessions with the communications lag. Besides, I wasn't really being serious. It's morning and I've only had one cup of coffee. Coffee, a gift from the gods it is. I missed it so much."
Taylor scrunched up her nose. "I don't understand how you drink that stuff."
"Ah, another coffee hater? How have I never noticed that?"
"Usually because you're so busy getting coffee yourself or you're just not here eating at the same time I am. Can we get back to the subject at hand?"
"Mario Day?"
"Yes, and yes there is a system of some sort attached to the screen. I don't know what it does but yeah there is one with games and movies stored on it, tons of them. I haven't played any of the games so I don't know how to access them or even which ones are on there. We've all watched movies but I'm not usually in charge of the remote," Taylor told him.
"Okay so we need to get Lawrence in here then," Mark commented.
"Why?"
"It's a computer, right? He's the computer guy. He should know what the system is and how it works. I think I remember Johanssen saying it had something to do with an emulator. I'll go find him."
"Hey, Lawrence."
"Hey, Mark. What do you need?" the computer scientist asked.
"I have a question about our entertainment computer thing."
Lawrence bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Yeah?"
"It has some sort of emulator on it, doesn't it? Like, can it play video games?"
"Yes."
"Can you show me how it works?" Mark asked.
"Right now?"
"No, but today. It has to be today."
"Why?"
Mark rolled his eyes. "Because it's March 10th. Do you not know what that is?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"You're the computer guy, " Mark said as if the answer were obvious. "What kind of geek are you?"
"The kind who needs a little more information than that."
"March tenth, you know the abbreviatio 0. What would that look like written down?"
Lawrence squinted then smiled. "I got you. I don't know which games are on there, but there's got to be at least one. We'll look later."
"Okay, good," Mark said. "Taylor and I want everybody to play. We can have a tournament to celebrate the day."
"I'm not sure you can get everybody to play," Lawrence replied, "but I'm in."
That night after dinner Lawrence opened up the emulator and discovered the original Super Mario Brothers along with Dr. Mario.
"Okay, which one do you want to start with?" he asked as he pulled out the controllers and turned them on.
"Well we could do a tournament with Dr. Mario," Taylor suggested, "but if we play Super Mario Bros we could just take turns. One person can start and play until they die and then somebody else picks up and keeps going. We just see how long it takes to get through the whole game.
Mark nodded. "I like that idea. We should probably start with Dr. Mario. So, everybody, let's go. Who's first? Should we draw straws or play rock, paper, scissors."
"Well I suck at these games," Marianne said. "I have never been good at video games, no matter which ones I play or how often I play, but I'll try."
Pat rolled his eyes and said. "I'm not going first, but I'll play the winner."
Jack spoke up next. "Sure, why not? I'll go first."
They spent a few minutes figuring out an order of play. Then for the next hour, the crew rotated places at the controllers alternating laughing, muttering, groaning, and cursing before they turned off the game.
"Do we really want to try and make it through Super Mario Brothers today?" Pat asked."I have a better idea."
"What would that be?" Mark wanted to know.
"I'm pretty sure one of the Mario movies is in the media library," Pat answered.
"Which one? The horrible 80s or 90s whatever thing? Or the Crispy Rat version?" Mark asked.
Pat barked out a laugh. "Did you just say Crispy Rat? Seriously?"
"Yeah," Mark chuckled. "I know stupid. I heard it or read it somewhere years ago and it's kind of stuck in my head now."
"Oh please say it's that one," Taylor enthused. "I love Jack Black's Bowser."
"I don't know which one," Jack replied.
"We'll have to turn it on to find out," Marianne said.
The night ended with everyone headed off to their sleeping rooms, several of them singing "Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches."
March 18, 2040
Taylor popped into Mark's lab and said, "Tomorrow is National Let's Have a Laugh Day so everyone has to come to dinner with one joke."
"Just one?" Mark raised an eyebrow.
"Just one," she reiterated. "We want to get to bed at normal time this time."
'Well, fine."
"So are we telling the jokes during dinner or after?" Mark asked as they all sat down that evening.
"I vote after," Pat replied.
"Me too," Taylor said. "Those cannibal jokes last time would have made me lose my appetite."
"Ok, let's not go there again," Alannah declared. "We'll tell the jokes after dinner then we'll watch a comedic movie."
"What movie?" Lawrence wanted to know.
"You'll just have to wait to see," the commander answered. "It's my favorite funny movie."
"I think I'm worried now," Pat put in.
"Oh grow up, I'm sure it'll be great," Marianne said.
Mark rushed through dinner and then sat tapping his foot waiting for everyone else to finish theirs.
Finally, everyone had finished and moved to the rec area. Mark stood in front of the screen.
"Ok, who's first?" he asked.
"I'll go," Taylor answered, jumping up from her seat. "Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?"
"That's an easy one," Mark replied. "She kept running away from the ball."
"Aw man, of course, you knew it," she grumbled goodnaturedly then sat back down.
"I'm not standing up, but I'll go next," Lawrence said. "Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom?"
"Bathroom jokes?" Taylor raised an eyebrow and shook her head.
"Sort of," Lawrence responded. "Any guesses?"
"Don't look at me," Mark shook his head. "I don't know, but I have a feeling I'm going to like the punchline."
Lawrence waited a moment longer then said, "Because the pee is silent."
"I think that counts as a spelling joke," Marianne pointed out with a laugh. "If I recall correctly, you personally complained about those.."
"No, I couldn't have," Lawrence argued.
"You totally did," Taylor giggled.
"Fine, whatever. I had to look up a joke for this anyway," he replied.
"I guess it's my turn," Alannah said. "Where does a polar bear keep his money?"
"A polar bear?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why does a polar bear have money?"
"Jack, really?" Taylor sighed. "It's a joke."
"Well, yeah, but still…" he said.
Alannah smiled and shook her head. "Any guesses?"
No one spoke.
"In a snowbank."
"Of course," Mark laughed. "That one's pretty good."
"What do lawyers wear to court?" Pat asked.
"That one's easy," Mark replied.
"Yeah, even I know that one," Taylor piped up.
"Lawsuits," all three said together.
Marianne spoke up, "You'll probably know mine too. What do you call a pig that does karate?"
"A pork chop," Mark grinned. "I always wished the Kung Fu Panda universe included a pig, just for that joke."
"See if you know this one," Jack said. "What do sea monsters eat?"
"Why do I think the answer should be totally obvious?" Mark asked.
"Because all of these jokes have punch lines that should be totally obvious," Lawrence replied. "That's what happens when we tell elementary school-level jokes."
"I still say they're the best jokes," Mark insisted.
"Are you ready for the answer?" Jack inquired.
He was answered by six nodding heads.
"Fish and ships"
Lawrence groaned, "See totally obvious."
"But funny," Mark argued.
"It was," Taylor agreed.
"That just leaves you, Mark," Alannah said.
Mark nodded, "Well of course you have to save the best for last."
This pronouncement was met with groans and rolled eyes.
"Just tell your joke already," Pat requested.
"Geez, you have no sense of showmanship," Mark complained playfully. "Fine. How do you organize a space party?"
He waited, and when no response came he continued, "You planet."
More groans accompanied by chuckles and shaken heads ended their joke-telling.
April 1, 2040
"Mark come on," Taylor urged the man down the hall. "The Easter Bunny came."
"The Easter Bunny? What are we five years old again?"
"Well, fine then I get your eggs and the chocolate inside," she replied, pushing past him to the ladder.
"Chocolate? Wait, chocolate?" He called up to her climbing as rapidly as he could to the zero-g zone then pushing across to the ladder for the mess following the pilot.
"Yes, chocolate," she answered.
"I'm not sharing my chocolate," Mark insisted.
"Who's asking you to share chocolate?" Jack asked as he entered the tube behind them. "Who could possibly be that cruel?"
"I'm not asking to share it," Taylor argued. "I said if he didn't want his egg I'd take it for him."
"Oh well then," Jack said, "that's just fair game."
"I'm not giving up chocolate," Mark reiterated. "How did the Easter Bunny get here anyway?"
"The Easter Bunny is magic and can go wherever it wants," Marianne replied, holding up a large egg with her name on it. "See."
"Or the Easter Bunny can recruit the commander to do his work for him," Pat joked, pointing to the woman in question who was currently wearing a large pair of fuzzy white ears with pink satiny insides.
"Do we have to search for the eggs?" Mark wanted to know.
"I had a feeling you would want to," Alannah responded, "yours is hidden as is Taylor's."
"What about mine?" Jack asked.
"Yours too," the commander said. "Pat, Lawrence, and Marianne had theirs sitting on the table."
"Any clues?" Mark questioned. "Do we just start looking, is it hot or cold? What if I find someone else's?"
"Don't give it away, but I suppose if you want you can give clues to the other person," Alannah replied after a moment's thought. "You have to find yours first though."
Mark clapped his hands together, rubbed them with glee, squinted, and began turning in a slow circle while Taylor and Jack each headed off to opposite corners to begin hunting. Mark stood still for several more moments looking high and low before he moved. He immediately went to the food cupboards and drawers opening each in turn, carefully sliding aside the things each contained. At one point he paused, grinned, turned to the commander and winked, then resumed searching. Making his way to the recreation section of the room he opened the game cabinet before freezing and spinning and looking back to the food cupboards. A frown crossed his face as he stalked across the room, opened the one door he had bypassed, and pulled out the crate marked 'Don't open until Thanksgiving.'
"Ah ha! Really, really?" He griped as he pulled his egg out from beneath the box of freeze-dried potatoes au gratin.
"Sorry," Alannah said. "I just couldn't help it."
"This was not your idea," Mark insisted. "Martinez got to you didn't he?"
"Absolutely not," she replied with a straight face.
Mark pursed his lips, raised an eyebrow, and stared at her.
It took only thirty seconds and she collapsed into giggles. "I'm really sorry, but it was such a perfect idea."
"I've got mine," Pat announced.
"Not fair, that means I'm last," Taylor complained. "Come on, I want a hint. Please, pretty please."
"I don't know, you threatened to take my chocolate away," Mark commented.
"I did not," she protested. "I offered to take it if you didn't want it."
"Offered?" he scoffed. "More like tried to claim."
"Watney, please."
"You know if you'd kept looking instead of whining to Watney, you'd probably have found it by now," Pat pointed out.
Marianne chuckled and shook her head. "He was awfully excited when he was looking through the food," she told the pilot.
"Aw, Doc, come on, that's not fair," Mark complained.
"Sure it is," she winked.
Mark settled down with his egg at the table and watched as Taylor tore open the food cabinets and began digging through the crates and bins.
"We're never going to be able to find what we want to eat again are we?" Jack asked from his seat next to Mark.
"I'll clean it all up as soon as I find my… Ah hah! Here it is!" Taylor called out.
"Good, now we can all open them up," Pat announced.
Taylor heard a knock on her door that evening. When she opened it she found a snack-size bag of M&M's taped to the wall just outside her room with a little note that said "Thanks."
May 4, 2040
Mark floated up silently behind Taylor in the cockpit of the bridge. He arrested his floating forward by grabbing a hold of the chair behind hers. He began to sing the Star Wars theme softly at first but got louder as he went "Baaaa, baa, ba, ba, ba, baaa, ba, ba, ba, ba, baaa, ba, ba, ba, ba, baaa."
Taylor jumped, turned with a smile, and said "May the 4th be with you, Master Watney."
"Wouldn't that be Master Mark?" he asked. "I mean it's Master Yoda and Master Obi-Wan and Master Qui-Gon and Master Anakin…"
She shrugged, "Probably but Master Mark just doesn't sound right."
He thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, you're right. Master Watney does sound better. So, my Padawan, I believe we have some training to complete for tomorrow. We must beware the Sith on the fifth and even the sixth."
Taylor raised an eyebrow. "How do you plan to do that, and why am I a Padawan," she wanted to know?"
"You are younger than I am."
"By like 3 years," she protested.
"Yeah, yeah, okay, fine. So, I guess you're a master. We still need to train, however, my fellow Jedi master."
"Good. I still want to know how you plan to do that."
"Meet me in the gym in two hours and I'll show you."
"Okay."
"Well, hello there Master Taylor," Mark said.
As she turned from the ladder Taylor's eyes widened and she snorted out a laugh. "Where did you find that? Did you make that? What are you wearing exactly?"
Mark had wrapped himself in what appeared to be robes.
"A Jedi must be dressed appropriately," he responded.
"Then what about me?" she asked.
"Just a moment," he replied and turned to grab something from the bench behind him.
"Are those towels?" she asked before he could do anything or say anything. "They look like towels," she added upon closer inspection.
"Yes, they're towels. How else did you expect me to make Jedi robes?"
"I really wasn't expecting robes."
"Well the towels are clean, I promise. Come on, let's make you a set of robes and then we can get in some lightsaber practice."
"You know from anyone else," she said, "I'd think that was a come-on. Being that it's you, I expect you've actually made lightsabers somehow."
"Wait, you mean anyone else on this ship?" he asked, suddenly curious.
"No, I mean like in general, in life. Tell me that wouldn't be a pick-up line somebody would try on Star Wars Day. You probably tried it at some point."
"I have not," he protested. "I have much better pickup lines than that."
"Like what?"
"If I tell you, will you let me make you robes so we can actually have a lightsaber battle?"
Taylor shrugged. "Sure."
"Ok let me think for a minute… how about you're the Obi-Wan for me?"
Taylor winced and shook her head, "Really?"
"I'd join the dark side as long as you were there."
She giggled.
"Will you be the Leia to my Han so I won't have to be Solo?"
"Ugh."
"I love you to the Death Star and back," he said.
Again she winced.
"You're the droid I've been looking for."
"No, uh uh."
"You're Endor-able."
"Oh, good Lord."
"You R3 beautiful. You're Princess Slay-a. Looks like you've got your blaster set to stun … because you're stunning!"
"Oh stop, you have to stop," Taylor gasped out in her laughter. "Those are horrible."
"They could be worse?"
"How?" she asked.
"I could probably come up with one about death sticks."
"Don't, please don't. I beg you."
"So now can we train?"
"Yes," she replied, wiping her eyes.
"Then let's get this robe pinned on you."
"Pinned?"
"Yeah, I found safety pins on board and I didn't want to sew this on. Didn't want to get in trouble for ruining towels. So it's just been pinned in place."
"Okay." Taylor stood patiently as Marked draped towels, wrapped, and pinned them in places being very careful not to prick her, and made her a set of Jedi robes that matched his.
"Now," he said, stepping back. "We're ready."
He turned and picked up what appeared to be two lightsabers and handed one to Taylor.
"Is this PVC pipe?" she asked. "Where did you get PVC pipe?"
"It's from the hydroponics setup," he replied.
"Um. Don't you need that to hold up the set?"
"There were extras, and hey if I have a lightsaber hydroponic set, then I'm okay with that."
"That would be pretty cool," she agreed. "How did you color them?"
"Sharpies, of course," he grinned.
"You've been planning this for a while haven't you?"
"Naturally."
She laughed and held up the blue "lightsaber" he'd passed to her. He took up his green one and they had a mock fight for several minutes.
As they stopped, both a bit out of breath, Taylor said, "I'm so counting this as my exercise for today."
"Me too. Wanna watch the original movie tonight?"
"You know it, and if anyone complains they can go away."
"They wouldn't dare challenge two Jedi," Mark said imperiously before chuckling. "Besides it's not a scheduled crew recreation night so they absolutely can go do something else."
"Well, thank you, Master Watney."
"You are quite welcome, Master Taylor."
July 2, 2040
"Yo, Watney," Lawrence called as he came into the lab.
"Yo, Jensen. What's up?"
"I'm bored right now. I don't have anything to do, so I decided I should come bug you."
"Me?" Mark raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you."
"Don't you have anything else you can do?"
"Well geez man, if you don't want me here."
Mark shook his head. "I'm just surprised. You know how NASA is about schedules. You really don't have anything to do?"
"No, I'm good." Lawrence watched the other man for a few minutes before speaking. "Have you checked your email lately?"
Mark turned to eye the mission's computer scientist. "What do you know that I don't?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Bullshit," Mark responded.
"I just wondered if you'd checked your email lately, that's all. It's how we all pass the time and you get more emails than any of us."
"What do you know about my emails?"
"How would I know anything about your emails?"
"Lawrence, you're the one that downloads and dispatches everything sent to us. What do you know about my email?"
Lawrence shrugged. "Maybe you should check."
"You know, whatever this is you're really bad at it," Mark said and moved over to his computer. He clicked on the email icon and scanned the list of new messages. "Is this from New Zealand? Like from the country?"
The other man just watched Watney and shrugged.
"Seriously you know what this is. Why don't you just tell me."
"I think you should just open it up," Lawrence suggested.
Mark stared at Jensen for a moment longer then finally clicked the email and groaned as the strains of "I Will Survive" began to play from his speakers. "What the hell?" he muttered through gritted teeth slamming the laptop shut.
"Dude, you're not even going to read it?"
"It's disco!"
Lawrence laughed, "Of course it is. It's July second, that's National Disco Day in New Zealand."
Mark opened and closed his mouth several times before he found the words to reply. "Disco? They have a day to celebrate disco? Remind me to never go to New Zealand. Montrose, New Zealand better not be on my public relations tour list.
Lawrence laughed again and Taylor giggled in the hallway.
"Michaels, get in here."
"What? What did I do?" Taylor said with a grin, leaning just her head into the door.
"Everybody knows about this, don't they? Is everybody out there or just you?"
The crew streamed into his lab. Again Mark groaned and shook his head this time dropping it to the table. "Why me? Why? Why?"
Laughter filled the room.
"Yes, it's National Disco Day in New Zealand," the commander answered. "They pick someone every year to represent them, represent it. I'm not exactly sure, but someone important they want to recognize… They say… Yeah, I'm sorry I don't know I should have thought that through better before I came in here. Anyway, last year… No wait, I have a better one. You know the Grand Marshal of a parade? Every parade has one right? So you're kind of the Grand Marshal of Disco Day this year."
"Aren't there any better choices?" he asked.
"Well," Alannah answered, "Lewis was chosen last year."
"This has to be a joke right? This is just some big joke, and you're all in on it." Mark whined.
Marianne shook her head. "Sorry, Mark, it's real."
"But it's disco," he cried.
"Hey," Jack said. "They chose that song from your list from that interview a couple of years ago.
Mark groaned again. "Now I suppose I need to send them a thank you or some video," he uttered in a monotone.
"It would be a good idea," Alannah replied. "We'll leave you alone now."
The crew turned and streamed back out into the hallway and off to their own places leaving only Lawrence behind.
"Tell the truth. You secretly like disco don't you?"
Mark just glared at him.
September 19, 2040
"Good morning to you me matey," Taylor said with a grin.
"Taylor, what's wrong with you?" Mark asked.
"Nothing be wrong with me, matey. It be September 19th."
"Okay," he chuckled, now used to Taylor and her crazy holiday celebrations, "and what does that mean?"
"It be 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'. Might you be joining us for some grub and entertainment this evening?" she asked, her grin widening.
"'Talk Like a Pirate Day'? I would think if there was such a thing I would know about it," Mark insisted.
"It be a real thing," she promised him.
"Ugh again?" Pat groaned from behind Mark.
Mark spun to look at the other man. "Wait this is real? 'Talk Like a Pirate Day' is a real thing?"
Pat nodded his head. "She did this to us last year, a whole day of talking like that. We were forced to watch pirate movies in the evening."
"No one forced ya to watch the movie ya scallywag. You could have walked the plank," she winked.
Pat rolled his eyes, shook his head, and headed for the ladder.
"What be wrong with him?" Mark asked, eagerly getting in on the act.
"Aye, he be a grump," Taylor deadpanned.
"What be the movie this here evening?"
"Pirates of the Caribbean of course," she replied.
"Arr, I'll be there with me eyepatch, hook, and peg leg. Don't start without me."
"Then you best be on time," Taylor playfully sneered.
Taylor burst out into laughter, nearly falling off her chair as Mark descended into the mess that evening. He had what appeared to be an attempted peg leg attached to his right knee with his foot kicked out behind him. When he turned she began to laugh even harder as the others looked on and shook their heads, a few of them chuckling. He had indeed fashioned himself an eye patch and some sort of hook from an instrument that he had peeking out of his left sleeve.
"Arr, me maties. It be time for movies." He said with a grin.
"Arr it be," Taylor replied. "Here me matey, special for you." She passed him a bottle of apple juice. She had removed the label from the juice and written "Rum" on the bottle with a sharpie. "This be only for special pirates.
"Thank ye, lass," he replied. He then opened the bottle, took a long drink, and said, "Aye that hit the spot.
October 12, 2040
Mark woke up, stumbled to the door, began to step through, and immediately began waving his arms, flailing in the air. "What the hell is this?"
There was no response. He stepped through the doorway and across the hall then turned back looking at his doorway. There were some sort of streamers there. He took a step closer to take a look; they weren't normal streamers of course. Normal streamers are flammable and flammable things are not allowed on spacecraft. He tried to determine just what they were before he took off for the mess to find it empty.
He crossed to the cabinets and pulled out a packet of coffee. He moved to the hot water, combined the two in a mug, and began to drink. He turned back to the lean on the counter.
"Is it my birthday?" he wondered aloud. "No… wait. What day is it? It must be but who remembered? Probably Taylor, the party princess."
"Party Queen," the woman in question said as she hopped off the ladder.
Mark rolled his eyes but smiled. "I suppose I should say thanks."
"You're welcome. I wanted to do something for you. My family always hung the streamers from our bedroom doors growing up. They'd stay there as long as the person could stand it. I'd leave them up an entire month until my parents finally got sick of it and took them down for me. My brother usually left them for a week, but my little sister hated coming out the door and trying to get through the streamers or trying to close the door without the streamers getting caught, so she'd take them down the next day. My mom loved it too. Dad would grumble and groan claiming they needed to go away immediately, but he also made it maybe a week. When Grandma moved in we were all a little worried, so we only put them on the sides of the door. We didn't want anything to get in her way, I mean she was already moving in because she couldn't live on her own anymore and there were some physical issues. She wasn't using a walker, only a cane. We were worried it might get wrapped up in streamers. She was furious, not that we put them up, but that we didn't cover the whole door like we did for everybody else.
"My family never did anything like that," Mark said. His eyes had been widening throughout her story and shook his head, smiling. "It's kind of fun though. I don't think I'm leaving them up long though.
"That's ok," she replied. "I just thought this would be a nice way for you to wake up."
"Well, I do appreciate it."
"I wonder when I'll hear from my parents today?"
"I believe they've scheduled a call for 4:00 Houston Time," Lawrence said, coming into the mess. "There's still a pretty decent delay. I think it's 2 minutes. We might be down to ninety seconds. I'll have to check, but at least you get to talk to them and see them in almost real-time."
"That's a pretty awesome birthday present," Mark said.
"Just a few more months and we'll be home. We're almost there," Taylor assured him.
"Yeah, I know."
At 4:00, Mark sat in front of his computer, waiting for the call from his parents. Lawrence had double-checked the time delay. It would be about a minute and a half lag between each of them speaking. His parents' faces suddenly appeared on the screen, and he couldn't stop smiling. He wasn't sure if he should say anything because they might speak first. This was going to be awkward.
"Hey, Mark! Happy birthday! We love you!" both parents called.
Mark's initial thought that the call would be awkward proved to be correct. The back and forth, waiting, and somehow even with the waiting their voices overlapping, laughing. When they said goodbye he smiled, closed his computer, and headed to the mess for dinner.
He ran into Alannah in the hallway.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "Didn't the call work?"
"It did," he replied. "I'm okay. Why?"
"I'm not sure you've noticed you look like you've been crying."
Mark reached up and touched his cheeks, finding them damp with tears. "I didn't even realize. I promise you they're good tears, happy tears. I'm just happy to see them. I can't wait to get home and actually see them in person. I have no idea how long it's going to be though before I can actually see them without glass between us, a few days, weeks, months even."
"It won't be that long," the doctor said, floating up behind the other two.
"How do you know that?" Mark asked.
Marianne filled him in on the plan for his parents to quarantine before landing so that they could be with him as soon as he landed.
"Why didn't they tell me that?" he wondered.
"I think they wanted it to be a surprise," she responded. "I probably shouldn't have told you, but I wanted to ease your mind."
"Well, I'll try to act surprised then," he said.
The three continued on to the mess/rec module where Mark found birthday decorations had been hung since the morning. There was a small pound cake in the center of the table with a fake candle.
'Where did the fake candle come from? We did not have that when I was on here the first time, or I would have used it on Martinez."
"Don't know," Taylor said. "I was going through the decorations and found it."
"Ok, but I don't remember you using it for anyone else's birthday," he replied.
"Didn't find it before."
He squinted at her then shrugged and shook his head. "Whatever."
The crew sang Happy Birthday and everyone had a slice of cake before they allowed Mark to choose that evening's entertainment. None of them were shocked when he chose the 2011 Avengers movie.
October 31, 2040
"What movie are we watching tonight?" Pat asked.
"Nothing too gross, please?" Taylor pleaded. "I can't do body horror. It makes me sick."
"Me too," Marianne agreed.
"Wait, you're the doctor? How does body horror gross you out?" Mark asked.
"Yeah, that doesn't make much sense," Lawrence added.
"It's not the actual things that happen to people really. It's… I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe it's that it just impacts me more because of all of the horrible things that can happen in real life to people, things I saw when doing my ER rotation," the doctor explained.
"That makes sense," Pat nodded. "How about the original Halloween? People die, but there's very little blood and gore."
"We used to always watch that one on Halloween," the commander commented. "It's still my favorite horror movie."
"Ok then, Lawrence, queue it up, please," Jack requested.
Everyone settled in on the couches and floor in front of the screen. Lawrence started the movie and then turned off most of the lights. The commander pulled out bowls of popcorn she had prepared earlier in the day along with bags of M&M's. Before long the comments started.
"Uh huh sure, your little child is standing there holding a knife dripping blood and so you just stand and look at him. No one would ever go looking to see who was bleeding, like maybe your daughter."
"Who taught him how to drive?"
"He didn't let Michael go! He was just getting there to pick him up!"
"Um, Michael had the mask in the morning, and now after school is when the police are investigating? Has the burglar alarm been going off all day?"
"Loomis, turn around, Loomis, come on, turn around! You're missing, well there he went."
"Laurie, you saw someone behind the bush, then in the backyard, and you're telling Tommy there's no boogeyman. You're gonna regret that."
"Geez, Annie just strip down in the kitchen."
"Bye Annie."
"Lynda's about to be totally dead."
"Don't go in there, Laurie."
"Double tap, Laurie, double tap. You should always double tap."
"Eww, the eye!"
"And he's gone."
"And it's time to go to bed," Alannah said. "Happy Halloween, everyone."
"Happy Halloween, commander."
November 22, 2040
"It's time," Taylor announced, striding into Mark's lab.
"Time for what?"
"Time to make Thanksgiving dinner together," she replied.
"They're not really making us do that are they?"
"It is the only thing on our schedule for today," Taylor answered.
"Uh huh, message received, and what are the odds we have to make a video of us doing it?"
"It's like you work for NASA or something," she quipped.
"Fine, I'm coming."
The two joined the rest of the crew at the table in the mess. On the table sat a crate with a tag that read "Do not open until Thanksgiving."
"So," Lawrence said. "Who's opening it, and who's recording?"
"Let Mark do the talking," Alannah replied. "His videos from Ares III were the best. I'll open it and we'll take turns holding the camera."
Alana reached for the crate.
"Wait!" Taylor shouted.
"What?" the commander asked.
"Shouldn't we get this on video?"
"Oh, I suppose we should," Alannah replied. "All right, someone come and pick up the camera and start recording."
Mark grabbed it. "I'll do it and talk. It's all good. I don't have to be on the screen."
"But I'm sure your parents would like to see you," Marianne commented.
"We just had that video call for my birthday last month. They know what I look like. They won't be worried that they don't see me as long as they can hear me."
"Don't you think everybody else would like to see you too," Pat pointed out. "You know, like the Ares III crew."
"Or Annie?" Lawrence said.
Mark winced. "Yeah, I don't want to piss off Montrose, not at this point. We're close enough to home for her to be able to get back at me."
"It's never a good idea to piss off Annie," Jack replied.
"Hey, when I was on Mars, it was pretty safe," Mark commented. "Fine, I'll be on camera, but I'm still starting out holding it."
He then powered it up and turned it to face him. "Happy Thanksgiving everyone or you know by the time you see this happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year. Okay, I'm going to stop now. Anyway, it is Thanksgiving here on Hermes. We're getting ready to open our Thanksgiving dinner. So commander, take it away."
He spun the video camera around and Alannah again reached to the crate. She slid it across the table closer to herself, opened it, and began removing items.
"We have a can of green beans," she said for the benefit of those who would be watching the video. "We also have a can of cream of mushroom soup."
"Eww," Mark said from behind the camera.
"You don't like green bean casserole?" the commander asked with a smirk.
"No," he responded, "but that's fine. It means more for the rest of you.
"Alannah shook her head and continued pulling out items out of the crate. "A canister of French's fried onions that have been vacuumed sealed, a can of cranberry jelly, relish, whatever you want to call it, a box of stuffing, freeze-dried turkey, and vacuum-sealed potatoes.
The potatoes looked much like the ones Mark had found in the Ares III crate. His jaw dropped and the camera fell to his side. Lawrence snagged it from it and held it up as Mark stepped forward, took the potatoes, and turned them over in his hand. He held the package up, turning them this way and that.
"Solanum tuberosum," he whispered to himself, before shaking his head and putting them back on the table. "Well, I don't want to make these or eat them either, but I can't complain if the rest of you do. I mean potatoes kept me alive, and that's why I'm here. Even if I don't eat them I can still say I'm thankful for potatoes. I never want to eat them again for the rest of my life. You couldn't pay me enough. You could tell me the penalty of not eating them would be hot pokers in my eyeballs…"
"Really, Mark?" Taylor frowned.
"What too much? That can be edited out. You know they edit all of these videos."
"So it's time to make dinner," the commander announced.
Mark took back the camera and watched every little step providing running commentary. When it came time to cook the potatoes, he changed his mind, handed the camera back to Lawrence, stepped up, took the scissors, and opened the packaging. He carefully removed the potatoes, took out a knife, and chopped them into small pieces. The potatoes were placed in a container with water, and placed in the microwave to cook.
"We have salt and pepper right?" Mark asked as he set the cooking time and started the microwave.
"And butter flakes," Taylor replied with a nod.
Mark's eyes went wide. "What the… What are butter flakes?"
"You know, like you put on popcorn," she explained.
"Okay. That's weird," he replied, "but it might work."
"We also have powdered milk," Marianne said, removing that contained from the cupboard. "We just need to mix it with some milk. It might be best to mix it with some of the water we pour off of the potatoes."
Dinner preparations continued and a few minutes later everything was spread out on the table. The crew members sat down and began to fill their plates, passing each bowl or container around family style. True, to what he had said Mark passed the green bean casserole right on to the next person. However, he did grab the bowl of mashed potatoes and took one tiny spoonful. Everyone watched and Lawrence trained the camera on Mark while he picked up his spoon, scooped up the potatoes, and ate them.
"Yeah," Mark said and put the spoon down, "I'm alive and thankful that they kept me alive. I think, however, I'm done with potatoes, or at least these particular potatoes. Sorry, guys."
Everyone laughed and continued eating
A/N: One chapter left, hope you all enjoyed this one. No, there was no Christmas but that's because I have an idea for a future story with three parallel Christmas tales for Mark one on Mars, one on Hermes, and his first back on Earth. My goal is for that to by my NaNoWriMo project in 2024 so I can post it advent calendar style next December, but we'll see if that actually works out.