Christmas was coming, and the whole Halstead-Upton family was excited. It had started snowing most days in Chicago, which they were excited about (but secretly dreading as cops), and Ava was already obsessed with playing in the snow and the Christmas tree they had up in the living room. It wasn't even decorated yet and she was so fascinated by the whole thing.
"We decowate an watch a movie or music, right?!" Ava asked excitedly when Jay and Hailey brought down the remaining boxes of decorations.
"That's right, baby! Music and decorations!" Hailey was loving this, it was like Christmas was a whole new thing with the curious toddler who hadn't really done much for it before.
The family spent the entire afternoon decorating and listening to music and dancing around the living room. Jay even put lights on outside the house. Ava was obsessed with all things Christmas, except Santa, she was very skeptical about Santa they were quickly learning.
After decorating and allowing Ava to put the tree topper on, which Hailey snapped many pictures of, they did Ava's bath time and made taco soup for dinner, which they ate in the living room (with towels down so Ava (and Jay) wouldn't accidentally stain the furniture) and began introducing Ava to some of the Christmas classics. They started with Frosty the Snowman, the cartoon version of The Grinch, and Rudolph.
"They mean! I don like!" Ava cried out during Rudolph. Jay pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back.
"It's gonna be good, baby, we promise," he said and Ava looked over at Hailey, seeming to doubt Jay's words.
"I promise, it will be good baby. They realize they shouldn't have been mean to him. I had a hard time with this one my first time seeing to too," Hailey reassured her and Ava nodded and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
Hailey left out the part where she was 16 the first time she saw Rudolph and it had upset her, Ava didn't need to know that.
By the end of the show, Ava was smiling and half asleep, so they put her to bed and watched Four Christmases together until they were ready for bed. It was only December 1, and they were eagerly awaiting the month ahead of them with their little girl.
December 3 had Hailey stopping at several stores with Ava to pick up the perfect Christmas pajamas for the whole family to wear. Ava was obsessed with Christmas trees, so they finally found some with a white background and green trees all over them that were very footie pajamas for Ava and fitted ones for Hailey, and button up for Jay. Ava was so excited and insisted on carrying the bag to the car. Hailey also got Ava some other Christmas themed footie pajamas so she could start wearing them earlier, the little blonde was so excited.
They went home and started making dinner together, Ava talking about her new pajamas with Jay when he got home.
"Do you want to go ahead and take your bath and put some on?" He asked and Ava bounced in her seat on the counter, super excited.
"Yes yes yes!!!" She cheered and Jay scooped her up, tickling her as he walked upstairs after kissing Hailey.
Jay gave Ava a bath and dressed her in her pale pink footie pajamas with candy canes on them and she was beyond happy while he combed her hair. When they went back downstairs, Jay could see it had started snowing pretty hard, which Ava got excited about. She really loved all things winter, they wondered how long that would last with the potential snow till March in Chicago.
"Mama! Look!" Ava called as she wiggled out of Jay's arms and ran to Hailey.
Hailey put down the spoon she was using to stir the mac and cheese and bent down to Ava's height with a smile. "I see! You look so pretty!" Hailey pulled Ava into a hug and kissed her cheek.
"Eat soon? My tummy hungwy," Ava stuck her tummy out to show Hailey she wanted food and Hailey and Jay laughed.
"Eat soon, kid. Go help Jay set the table and I'll put this on plates," Ava went to help Jay while Hailey plated their mac and cheese, rotisserie chicken, and peas. It was a family favorite and was easy, and Ava was less likely to stain her clothes with it.
They ate dinner and Ava told them about her day while they took in every word the little girl said. They neither one could believe this was their life now, snow, a house, getting ready for the most wonderful time of year with a little girl. Everything was coming together for them.
After dinner, Ava "helped" wash the dishes and load them into the dishwasher before they introduced her to a new movie, Elf. And Ava thoroughly enjoyed it, immediately begging to watch it again as soon as it was over, despite being half asleep against them.
"We can watch again on Saturday, kiddo, we've got something else we want to show you tomorrow, and the rest of the week. It's time for bed now," Jay explained and Ava reluctantly agreed and went to put her pullup on for bed. Hailey and Jay tucked her in and settled in for the night.
Throughout the week, Ava was introduced to all of the Santa Clause movies and Prep and Landing. She was obsessed. But she hadn't asked them about Santa at all, which made Hailey wonder if her mother and father had done anything for Ava her 3 previous Christmases. They hadn't done much for her and her brothers so it was possible they hadn't done anything for her.
The second week of December brought Ava's introduction to Home Alone (1 and 2) and some other random Mickey Mouse Christmas movies and shows. Her favorite was Elf, followed by Frosty. So they were watching those a ton when Ava had TV time. The week was also bringing lots of questions about Christmas, about what it was. They explained that the season was one for giving and that it was about the birth of baby Jesus and also, less importantly, about receiving presents. Ava accepted the answer and kept playing.
However, things changed a little a few days later at school. Hailey was in an interrogation and didn't know her phone was going off when the school called. So, Jay was called next and he answered since he wasn't in the interrogation.
J: Halstead.
A: Hi, Jay, this is Ava's teacher. Can you or Hailey come get Ava please, she's very very distressed. Some kids explained Santa to her and she is very frightened. We can't calm her down, she just wants someone to come get her.
J: i'll be there in 15 minutes max, thanks.
He hung up, told Voight and asked Kim to tell Hailey, then left to go get Ava. When he got to the school, he used the code for Ava to get in and he could hear Ava's cries from down the hall. Crap.
Jay hurried his pace and went to the door, which was opened for him and Ava darted to him, sobbing hysterically. "Daddy, no Santa! No scawy man in house!" She wailed, momentarily stunning Jay at her calling him daddy. That was the first time.
"Okay, okay, daddy's got you. You're okay. Breathe for me," he soothed, rubbing her back as she curled herself into him, and he felt that her jeans were wet. She'd had an accident, poor kid.
"I'm so sorry," Ava's teacher, Allison, apologized.
"Thank you. She hasn't said anything about Santa, we weren't sure what she'd do. I'm gonna change her then take her home," Jay said and he was directed to the bathroom to change Ava out of her soiled clothes and into something dry.
She cried the whole time, frantically saying "daddy, hold" over and over again until Jay picked her up again and swayed with her. Jay hated that it was fear that led to Ava finally calling him daddy, but he was glad she was finally doing it.
"Daddy's got you, you're safe, Ava girl. You're safe. I love you so much," he told her, carrying her out of the classroom, out of the building, and to the truck.
"Okay, kiddo, you need to get in your seat so we can go see mama and talk," he said gently and Ava nodded but kept crying, sucking her thumb as she clung to her stuffed animals.
Jay got them to the district as fast and safe as possible so he could hold his little girl again, her cries breaking his heart. When they got there, he got her out and carried her inside and upstairs to the break room, where he sat down, held her to his chest, and draped her weighted swan over her while he spoke gently to her, trying to calm her down.
Ava pretty much cried herself to sleep before Hailey came in and knelt down at her height. "Hey, baby love, what happened?" She asked, tucking Ava's hair behind her ears.
"No Santa, Mama. Not safe. Man in house not safe, he'll huwt us. No more huwt, mama, no huwt again," she sniffled around her thumb, growing agitated as she squirmed in Jay's arms. "Daddy, I don't want him!" And she dissolved into another fit of tears.
Hailey looked up at Jay as she rubbed Ava's back. "Daddy?" She mouthed and Jay smiled and nodded. That was a discussion for later.
"Baby, Santa doesn't hurt you. He just comes in, leaves presents, eats cookies, and leaves the house. He doesn't come into our rooms or anything, he never hurts us, and you never have to see him. He's not bad," Hailey explained.
"But he only does that fow good kids! I bad, that's why other mommy and father hurt me and leave me! Santa gonna huwt me too!" Ava seemed so serious about this and it was heart breaking.
"No, honey, no. That's not how it works. And you are so so so good, Ava Grace! You are the best! I promise, Santa will not hurt you. We will not hurt you. You are safe in our house, love bug. Santa does not hurt people ever. But if you don't want him in our house, we could send him a letter and ask him to leave the presents in the garage, how about that, would that help you feel safer?" Hailey suggested, wanting Ava to experience some of the child like magic of Christmas if she was open to it.
"Do I hava see him?" Ava asked, looking over at Hailey skeptically.
"Not if you don't want to. We can stick with movies and music, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You tell us, kid," Jay said and Ava nodded and her eyes started to flutter closed as she calmed down.
Hailey shut the door and changed her into a pullup and gave her back to Jay so he could hold her till she fell asleep. Once she was out, they went out to the bullpen and quietly worked with everyone on the case, their hearts hurting for Ava's fear and thoughts that she was bad. That night, when they got home, Ava wrote her letter to Santa, asking him to leave her presents in the garage.
Ava had been hesitant to go back to school after the whole Santa fiasco, so the school had sent out an email to parents of children in her class to ask them to talk to their kids about not talking about Santa. It would be hard, but pointing out to parents that this child's fear came from trauma, all the parents were on board. That said, getting 4 year olds not to talk about it was hard. But, it mostly helped.
The end of the third week of December, Hailey and Jay made apple cider, Ava preferred that to hot chocolate, and they got in Hailey's jeep after dinner and went and looked at Christmas lights. It rocked Ava's whole world. She loved all of the pretty lights and the music they listened to and the inflatables and all of it. She kept saying "mama, daddy! So pwetty!" Over and over again and gasping in surprise at what she saw. Her child like wonder was what Christmas was about. Well, that abd the birth of Jesus.
The next day, they got to making cookies to take to the district the following week. Ava went to the store with Hailey to get everything they needed.
"Okay, Aves, what kinds of cookies do we need?" Hailey asked as she walked to the baking aisle in the store by their neighborhood.
"We need sugar cookies with fosting and WOTS of spinkles. And giner bwead, and chockit chip. And I think that's enough so noone gettsa tummy ache," Ava looked up at Hailey with a grin and Hailey couldn't help but laugh at her child's logic.
"That is a good plan, kid. Let's get it done. You get the sprinkles, we can have 3 colors," Hailey positioned the cart so Ava could reach the sprinkles.
Soon, they had everything they needed, went home, and got baking. The only cookies they were doing home made completely were the gingerbread cookies, and by the end of that, Jay came in from shoveling the driveway and found Ava and Hailey laughing, covered in flour. He shrugged, took his coat off, grabbed a handful of flour, and threw it on both of them. It was a core memory established for all 3 of them.
After baking, Ava changed and went to build a snowman with Jay before her much needed bath. They built a wonderful snowman and Hailey brought out a scarf, hat, and carrot for the snowman, which Ava named Frostier. And he had to stay as long as possible. The day ended with a snowball fight, warm bath for Ava and showers for Hailey and Jay, hot cider, and Frosty the Snowman. A good day, and less than a week to Christmas.
———
Christmas Eve was a little chaotic, Hailey and Jay were up early, cooking like crazy since half the team was coming over after church, as were Will, Natalie, and Owen for a little bit. And Ava woke up from a nightmare and grew clingy as soon as Hailey had her in clean clothes, so that made cooking shrimp stew and a breakfast casserole and some other things harder than expected. Hailey had never been happier Jay was a surprisingly good cook, they were able to pass Ava between each other and get stuff done as Christmas music floated through the house.
Once the cooking was done, Hailey went and started getting ready for church while Jay watched Elf with Ava laying on his chest. She'd perked up a bit, but she still just wanted to be held, and they had no problem obliging. When Hailey was done with her hair and makeup, Jay showered while Hailey did Ava's hair in curls and half up with a red velvet bow. They ate a snack before getting dressed and going to church.
Ava enjoyed it, although she displayed zero interest in participating in the children's nativity scene, which was okay, they would try to encourage her next year. Her favorite part was the candles being lit for "Silent Night" at the end. She was so mesmerized by it, and Jay managed to get the best picture of Ava and Hailey holding their candles up.
After church, they went and met the others at their house and had a lovely time. Ava played with Owen and Adam, who was really just a giant child, and the rest of the adults help with dishing out bowls of shrimp stew, something everyone surprisingly liked, even the kids. They prayed then ate and talked and laughed as a fire crackled in the fireplace with Christmas music playing in the background. They even set up a tripod and got a group picture and spent the whole evening laughing, eating, and enjoying each other's presence. It was wonderful.
After everyone left, Jay got Ava ready for bed and they all put on their matching pajamas and got some pictures using the tripod. Then, Ava set some cookies for Santa in the garage and Jay read Twas the Night Before Christmas, then they tucked Ava in.
"Merry Christmas Eve, baby, we love you," they said and gave her a kiss before leaving. They had to get to sleep too since they'd be getting up ridiculously early to put Ava's Santa presents in the garage. Ava was excited because she'd helped both of her parents pick out a present for the other and she couldn't wait to give them to them.
4 AM came fast, but Hailey and Jay were excited. "Santa" brought Ava a toy kitchen that they went and set up in the garage and all the accessories that came with it; it would be moved to Ava's room later. "Santa" also brought her a couple of princess dresses. Once those were set up, they went inside and Hailey heard Ava in the baby monitor.
"She made it till 6:00," Hailey laughed as they went upstairs to get Ava.
"Merry Christmas!" They cheered when they walked into her room. Ava popped up, happy as could be.
"Mewwy Chwismas!" She jumped into their arms, holding her stuffed animals, and they spend a moment in the hug together.
"Okay, let's change you and go see what you got for Christmas!" Hailey laid Ava down on her changing mat and cleaned her up then they went downstairs in their matching pajamas.
"Did he come?" She asked quietly.
"He did! The cookies are gone and he thanked you for them!" They put on some snow gear and went out to see.
Ava found the note that thanked her for the cookies and milk and apologized for not finding her the previous years. Ava liked that, but she was still wary of the whole thing. Then, they went out to the garage, which Jay opened before Ava could get over there, and he started videoing her reaction.
When Ava saw her princess dresses and kitchen, her eyes lit up and she ran to them, hesitating to touch them. "Mine? I was good?" She asked, effectively breaking their hearts.
"Yours baby, you're so good!" Hailey said and that was all Ava needed to hug the dresses to her chest and squeal, then start looking in the kitchen and at the accessories.
"I love it!" She cheered, so happy she could hardly contain it. She explored her new kitchen and once Hailey snapped a selfie of them in their matching pajamas in the snow, Ava put her Snow White dress on over them and pulled her coat back on.
"You ready to see your other presents? From me and mama? There's actually one in mama's car," Jay asked and Ava nodded eagerly.
Jay opened the back of Hailey's Jeep and Ava squealed when she say a yellow bike with flowers on it and a basket and pink training wheels. "THANK YOU!!!" She yelled as she hugged both of them.
Jay got the bike out for her and she sat on it and smiled as they snapped some pictures. "We'll ride it later when it's not as cold," Jay promised as he lifted Ava's kitchen up to take inside. It would go near their kitchen.
Once they took their snow gear off, the family got warm drinks and settled by the fire. "All fow me?" Ava asked when she realized how many presents were there?
"Pretty much, babe. Some are for me and daddy, but the rest are yours kiddo," Hailey explained as Jay started distributing presents.
"I wan you bof to open fwom me fiwst," Ava insisted, and they helped her find the presents she'd picked.
Ava watched hesitantly as they opened them and beamed when they both hugged her and looked so happy. For Hailey, she'd picked put a mug that said Best Mama Ever, and for Jay, one that said Number 1 Daddy.
"I love it!"
"Oh I'm using this all the time!"
Ava was so happy they liked them. She opened the rest of her presents, a baby doll with clothes and accessories, dress up jewelry, a bike helmet, and some books, before she simply burst into tears, surprising her parents. Hailey pulled her into her lap and started rocking her.
"What's going on?" Jay asked gently.
"M happy!" Ava sobbed and they smiled and just spent some time holding her and soothing her. Once she calmed down, she remained against Hailey with her thumb in her mouth and watched her parents exchange gifts, then they went to eat breakfast.
The rest of Christmas day was spent playing, both inside and outside, having snowball fights and so much more. Then they watched the Santa Clause 2, had cider, ate a snack, and all took a nap together on the couch. After that, they played some more then got ready to go have dinner with Trudy and Mouch and some of the others. It was a great day, and they loved their first Christmas as a family more than anything.