Chapter 7 – Demolition Derby

Zoro

Zoro had never been so comfortable in his life. Sure, he had slept in objectively more comfortable places, but the comfort he felt at that moment wasn't to do with the place.

He felt warm and secure and content. When was the last time he'd felt this content? Usually, it was during moments with his crew – after they'd fought a hard-won battle, at a celebratory banquet watching them carouse, the day-to-day on the Sunny with all the accompanying oddities of each personality on the ship. This was that, but it was also more than that. He didn't have the word to describe it.

He did have a word to describe the previous night – unexpected. After the debacle of that morning, Zoro had gone about his business, ignoring Sanji like Sanji had instructed, knowing he'd fucked up somehow and caring that he had for probably the first time since he'd met Sanji. He just hadn't known what to do about it. It wasn't like he could apologise. Even if he'd had the inclination, which he hadn't, it was a one hundred percent guarantee that Sanji would just throw it back in his face.

Robin had told him once that apologies were not about the response you get but about the act of doing it at all – admitting you're wrong without expectation of forgiveness. Robin was definitely a lot smarter than Zoro, but he wasn't too sure she was on the money about that. If you weren't going to be forgiven, then what was the point?

Zoro thought about that for a second. Thought about the look on Sanji's face when Zoro had said all those nice things to him. Thought about the look on Sanji's face when Zoro had hit a nerve. Maybe apologising was about getting that former look back on Sanji's face. Zoro supposed there was an inherent reward in that alone.

Regardless, it had all worked out without him having to navigate those unpredictable waters. He just had to make sure he didn't fuck up again because he didn't want to leave this cocoon of comfort, and it turns out Sanji was an essential part of this cocoon. There would, in fact, be not a cocoon without him. Zoro wanted to stay there so badly that even though he'd woken up ages ago and the sun was starting to shine through the window, he hadn't said a word or moved a muscle.

Sanji must have felt the same way because he had also been awake for ages. Zoro had felt the change in his breath and the slight stiffening of his body before he'd relaxed again. And surprisingly, the long silence wasn't awkward or strained. In fact, it was pretty comfortable too. Maybe the only way to ensure he and Sanji didn't argue was for them to not talk to each other. Zoro suppressed a smile as he thought of how the crew would react if they saw he and Sanji getting along like this.

Okay, maybe they were doing a little more than getting along, but it's not like the crew would ever find out about that. Zoro assumed this little getting off together arrangement he and Sanji had going on would very definitively end once they were rescued, or turned in for their bounties and then rescued. The thought of this ending – not just the, frankly, incredible sex but also this contentment – sat badly in his gut. That knowledge felt like a ball of lead in there, slowly poisoning his bloodstream. How long did he have left to savour this?

"How long do you think until the others come get us?" Zoro asked aloud before he'd even really consciously decided to say anything. He just needed some sort of timeframe, so he could prepare himself. That was all.

"Hmmm," Sanji hummed and Zoro felt it vibrate against his chest. "This is, what? The sixth day? It's not like the Bomber Pirates took us to the moon. So surely any day now."

"Bomber Pirates?" Zoro queried. He hadn't heard that one before.

"That's the name of the pirates who kidnapped us," Sanji explained. "Bob told me all about them when you were asleep those first few days."

"Seriously?"

Sanji chuckled, shaking Zoro. "Let's just say he's very proud of his crew."

Well, Zoro supposed he could relate to that. But still, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

Sanji huffed. "Because you were pissing me off."

Zoro smiled. "And I'm not pissing you off now?"

"Give it a few minutes, I'm sure you'll get there quickly now you've opened your big mouth," Sanji countered. "It seems the only times you don't piss me off is when you're asleep or shutting the fuck up."

Zoro laughed. "I was still pissing you off when I was asleep."

"That's true," Sanji conceded and they reverted back into a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

But Zoro couldn't stop thinking about the clock ticking on their time here and the growing dread he felt as it counted down.

"Did Bob say when they plan to turn us in?" Zoro asked.

"Turns out their captain – Bombastina – is out on their ship on a loot run and she's due back within next week or two, and he said that days ago," Sanji replied, his hand absently tracing circles on Zoro's back. "Once they have the ship and, I guess, she approves of this particular gambit then they'll move us."

Sanji must have realised what he was doing then, because he stopped moving his hand. Zoro frowned and wiggled against Sanji a bit. Sanji huffed in amusement and resumed his ministrations.

"And did your best friend Bob say how exactly they plan to turn us in to the Navy when they're also a bunch of pirates?" Zoro asked mockingly.

"He said they'd wear disguises," Sanji replied with a smile in his voice.

"Fucking hell," Zoro groaned into Sanji's neck. "Being caught by these morons must my biggest shame as a swordsman."

"Hopefully our crew never finds out how truly inept they are. We'd never live it down," Sanji replied despondently.

"How'd these idiots capture us again?" Zoro griped as he ran his nose along Sanji's skin and then inhaled deeply. Why the fuck did he smell so good, anyway?

"Poison mist, according to you," Sanji reminded him and brought his hand up to card through Zoro's hair. Zoro sighed blissfully. Fuck going to Spa Island, this right here was all he needed.

"How did they get a poison mist on this frozen hellhole anyway?" He complained.

"Unless it was from a plant native to whatever island we were caught on," Sanji guessed. "There were all sorts of strange-looking shit in that place. I'd sooner eat my own shoe than bet they had someone on this crew smart enough to concoct a poison like that from scratch."

"Still, I should've sensed there were people nearby," Zoro reprimanded himself.

"Well, we were a tiny bit distracted arguing. Maybe we should do something about that," Sanji said, sounding reluctant.

"Eh," was Zoro's only contribution. If he was being truly honest with himself – and he liked to think of himself as an honest guy – arguing with Sanji was often the highlight of his day. He didn't particularly want to stop, but only if Sanji wouldn't ignore him again. He'd found that being ignored by Sanji had cut deeper than anything Sanji had ever said to him.

They settled back into another comfortable silence as Sanji continued to run his hand through Zoro's hair and rub his back. Fuck, getting kidnapped and chained up by a crew of imbeciles was worth it for this, no question.

Zoro didn't know how long they stayed there. He had almost drifted back to sleep when the sound of a door unlocking threatened his immaculate peace. Was it breakfast time already? He didn't want food nearly as much as he wanted to stay in his wonderful little cocoon with Sanji.

"Up and at 'em, boys!" Bob called loudly as he entered the room. Zoro groaned, feeling levels of frustration previously unknown to him. Fucking Bob.

Sanji started to shift to get up and Zoro tried to make his body weigh another hundred pounds.

"Zoro, get up!" Sanji hissed.

"No," Zoro protested, sounding petulant even to his ears. Whatever, as long as it got him what he wanted, which was to stay exactly where he was and not move an inch until they were rescued. Who needed food anyway. One time he'd accidentally fasted for five days because he'd forgotten to eat. jump in on Zoro's self-imposed food ban.

"For fuck's sake," Sanji groaned but sounded amused. Maybe Zoro would get away with this after all.

"What're you doing under than blanket over there?" Bob asked curiously.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Butt-fucking, Bob," he drawled, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

"Zoro, what the fuck!" Sanji hissed and violently pushed Zoro off him.

"Huh," Bob uttered as he opened the door to their cell and put their food down. "Guess you boys found something fun to do after all," he observed as he left and locked the cell. "Well, I'll just leave you boys to it then. Remember to eat though - gotta keep your strength up!" And with that helpful remark, he left.

Well, that backfired, Zoro thought as he laid tangled in blankets on the floor, mournfully looking at the ceiling. He should have known sarcasm would've sailed so far over Bob's head that it hit the stratosphere. Now his cocoon had burst and he only had himself to blame.

Sanji sat up and leaned over him. "You do know that their whole crew is going to think we're fucking now," he warned Zoro.

But as Zoro sat with that knowledge, he found he didn't care. In fact, he only found himself wishing that they were fucking.

"I don't care," he declared resolutely.

Sanji furrowed his brow at Zoro in what Zoro assumed was annoyance. "Why not?"

"I just don't," Zoro explained helpfully. Sanji didn't need to know Zoro wanted to fuck him. And then be fucked by him.

"That was very illuminating, thank you," Sanji replied sarcastically before sighing. "Whatever. We're up now so we might as well eat breakfast."

"On one condition," Zoro stated.

Sanji raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief at Zoro's audacity. "I'm the one feeding you. If anything, I should be the one making conditions."

"One condition," Zoro repeated firmly.

Sanji shook his head in defeat. "Fine. What?"

"You rub my back again after."

Sanji tried to scowl at him but he couldn't quite mask his smile. Zoro was elated – surely that indicated success.

"Okay, but only if you lay on top of me again."

Zoro grinned. He didn't know why, but it seemed Sanji had a thing for Zoro being on top of him. He never would've imagined that Sanji – Sanji, who was obsessed to the point of absurdity with big-breasted and soft but slender women– would want Zoro's hard, heavy slab of a body on top of him. But Zoro would happily oblige. Any day. All day.

"Deal."

Easiest deal he'd ever made.

Sanji

Back rubs in exchange for Zoro's delicious weight on top of him was the easiest deal Sanji had ever made. They had laid there all morning, sometimes talking, sometimes not, and Sanji just felt happy. He was chained up in a freezing and objectively uncomfortable cell, had only eaten bread, meat, and mystery vegetables for almost six full days, had only bathed once, was often bored out of his mind and tempted to squeeze Zoro's head between his thighs until his head popped like a grape, and one of his favourite shirts had been turned into a glorified cum-rag, but Sanji was happy.

That could be the only way to describe the feeling that merrily bubbled away in his chest and prevented his face from being able to adopt any negative expression for more than a few seconds. He'd literally been trying to frown all morning in an effort to curb this ridiculous feeling, only stopping when he realised those efforts were truly in vain after Zoro had made him laugh.

The only thing that threatened this intoxicating happiness was Zoro's earlier innocuous question, looming ominously in the back of his brain – how long until the others came for them? Sanji had spent five days cursing Luffy and the others for taking so unbelievably long, but now he found himself hoping they'd take their sweet time. It was absurd.

It's just that he knew there was a time limit on this happiness, because while Zoro clearly enjoyed Sanji getting him off and using Sanji as a pillow, that's all it was for him. What had he said to Sanji on that fourth day? That's right, "sex is sex". Zoro didn't do emotional attachment. And he especially didn't do emotional attachment to Sanji. He didn't even like Sanji.

Sanji, conversely, tended to become a bit infatuated with any woman that showed him even the smallest modicum of affection, so it was no wonder he was feeling…attached. Clingy, even. But it always passed, so this too would pass. It would. It had to.

But for now, he'd just enjoy the now-familiar weight of Zoro on top of him, and the now-familiar feeling of Zoro's breath on his neck, and the now-familiar sensation of Zoro's words vibrating against him. He'd just enjoy feeling more secure and grounded than he'd known was possible to feel. He could've laid there for days.

But then the room shook once, violently, and unceremoniously dumped a significant load of dust on top of them. Zoro and Sanji immediately commenced equally violent coughing fits.

"Fucking hell, what was that?" Zoro wondered once his coughs had subsided.

"Earthquake?" Sanji croaked back, dust coating the inside of his mouth and nose.

"That can't be good," Zoro observed as he rolled off Sanji to gasp in some fresh air, only to start coughing again. "Damn, is this how it feels to be you?"

"Shut up," Sanji coughed. His overwhelming cigarette cravings from the first few days of his time here had receded to a dull throb of need after Zoro had woken up. A dull throb of need that had paled in comparison to the throb of need he'd started to feel for Zoro, so it had been quite easily ignored. The only coughing fits he'd suffered recently had been Zoro-induced.

"Shit, now I'm covered in dirt," Zoro groaned.

Sanji sighed. All that bathing gone to waste.

His mind flashed back to the previous night, to Zoro begging to feel him.

So maybe not a complete waste.

But Zoro had copped the worst of the dust-bombing from being the one on top. Sanji cast his speculative gaze over him. "It's mostly just on your head. The blanket protected you from the rest."

"It's mostly just in my mouth," Zoro grouched.

Sanji stood up and shuffled over to the bucket of water from the previous night. The water would definitely be cold enough to cause icicles to form on their skin, but it looked like it had mostly escaped the dust storm.

"Come over here, I'll clean you up," Sanji offered.

"Clean yourself first. I'm fine," Zoro protested.

Sanji rolled his eyes. Typical. But he knew Zoro wouldn't budge until Sanji had done what he said, so Sanji quickly wet the washcloth and carelessly wiped the dust off his face. And almost gasped from the cold of it. Maybe he'd wash his hair later when he'd worked up the courage to risk losing his entire head by dunking it into that frigid shit. Actually, maybe a little dust in his hair was a good thing. It was like a natural dry shampoo or something.

"There, done. Now come over here," Sanji ordered.

"Have a drink of water first," Zoro ordered back.

Sanji bit back a fond smile. Who'd have thought Zoro would go mother hen on him. It was unbearably sweet. Sanji felt his heart expand in his chest as he shuffled to the drinking water jug, grateful it had a lid to protect it from the dust. Once he'd taken a much-needed drink – damn Zoro for being right – he shuffled over to Zoro to offer him the same. That done, he grabbed Zoro's shirt and shuffle-pulled him over to the tub of washing water.

"I would actually get there faster if I just walked on my own," Zoro pointed out dryly.

"I don't trust you to go on your own," Sanji argued.

"I'm not a child," Zoro grumbled.

Sanji laughed. "You begging me like one to rub your back begs to differ."

Zoro frowned as they finally reached the tub. "You'd be begging me for back rubs too if I could give them to you."

"I'll take a rain check," Sanji said unthinkingly, before freezing when he realised what he'd just implied.

The first rule of The Arrangement was to not talk about The Arrangement. They had already broken that rule a number of times, to mixed results. Sanji calling it mistake and the look in Zoro's eyes when he had particularly stood out.

The second rule of The Arrangement was to not allude to the future of The Arrangement. Sanji had just broken rule two. Of course, Sanji had come up with these rules on his own, but he still dreaded Zoro's reaction to breaking one.

But Zoro just had a slightly bemused look on his face. Sanji breathed a quick sigh of relief as he brought the washcloth up to Zoro's face.

And froze again.

Somehow, Sanji had found himself back where he'd been the night before – looking at Zoro's face and feeling an unrelenting and undeniable need to kiss him. He'd been circling around that word in his head for days, unable to fully accept the fact that he wanted his mouth on Zoro's with a craving that made his bones ache.

But kissing broke the third rule of The Arrangement. No kissing was Sanji's third rule because kissing Zoro would crack him open in some way he could not describe but just knew in his soul. And maybe he could allow himself to be cracked open, but only if Zoro cracked open with him and their broken pieces fit together to form something breathtaking and unbreakable. Kissing Zoro would be an unmaking and a reforging and Sanji didn't know that he could withstand it – if he even wanted to. It was too much, too big, and so bright he dared not look at it for more than a moment.

Sanji trembled as he slowly wiped the dust of Zoro's face, taking advantage of Zoro's eyes being closed to just look at him. Just look. And marvel. When had Zoro's face become so beautiful to him? Sanji softly dragged the cloth over Zoro's lips and he trembled too.

Zoro's eyes snapped open and locked on Sanji's and it was like a thread of tension snapped taunt between them. Sanji lifted his hand to cup Zoro's face carefully, so carefully, fearing the slightest wrong movement would severe the thread drawing them closer together. Zoro's eyes dropped to Sanji's lips and Sanji inhaled sharply.

He was about to crack himself open and damn the consequences.

And then the wall exploded.

Sanji came back to himself with a jarring snap and jumped back sharply from Zoro, noting Zoro doing the same, eyes wide, breathing hard. Sanji's head was ringing and he couldn't make sense of anything.

He looked in the direction the explosion had come from and gaped at the large, jagged hole in the wall beside the door to the prison.

And gaped at Luffy standing in it. So, not an earthquake then.

Sanji's whole body sagged but he couldn't tell if it was with relief or something else, something heavy.

Luffy stepped through the hole and quickly spotted Zoro and Sanji.

"Oh, hey! There you guys are!" He exclaimed.

"Hey, Luffy. Took you long enough!" Zoro complained.

Sanji's heart throbbed painfully.

Luffy laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that. Wasn't easy to find this place."

Turned out secret part of the Bomber Pirates secret hideout was pretty successful after all.

The room shook again and more dust fell from the ceiling. Sanji eyed it nervously. So, the others were here too, causing a ruckus. Inside a mountain.

"Luffy, you shouldn't be punching holes through the walls in this place!" Sanji chided. "Why didn't you use the door?"

Luffy looked at him like he was an idiot. "Because it was locked."

"Yes, but -" Sanji started before he remembered who he was talking to. "Never mind."

Luffy peered into their cell curiously. "So…you guys got any meat?"

"One doesn't usually find an abundance of meat in a prison," Sanji answered wearily.

"Aw, why not? That sucks."

"Prison does suck, Luffy," Zoro replied.

And there Sanji's heart went throbbing again.

"So, you going to get us out of here or what?" Sanji asked testily. If Zoro was so fucking eager to leave then maybe they should just move this rescue right along.

Luffy tilted his head consideringly. "I could probably break the bars."

The bars that might be holding up the solid rock ceiling over their head? "Maybe let's not do that just yet," Sanji replied hastily. "What about keys?"

"Oh yeah!" Luffy perked up. "Franky's looking for them. He should be here any minute." Luffy thought about that for a moment. "Though maybe not. This place is really big and, like, a total maze."

Sanji ground his teeth together. "So I've heard."

"How'd you find us?" Zoro asked.

"I just kept punching through walls until I stumbled across you guys. Great, huh?" Luffy answered cheerfully as the mountain rumbled ominously once again.

"Super great," Sanji replied weakly. Franky better hurry up with those fucking keys.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" Luffy asked innocently.

Sanji started coughing violently again. So did Zoro.

"What's up with you guys?"

"Nothing," Sanji choked out. "Just the dust, you know."

"Yep. Dust," Zoro agreed feebly.

Fortunately, before Luffy could become curious, Franky chose that fortuitous moment to unlock the door to the prison and step inside.

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief and it was definitely one of relief. He may have mixed feelings about being rescued, but he was absolutely thrilled to get out of his chains and also not be trapped in a cell while the mountain inevitably caved in around them.

"'Sup, bros!" Franky greeted them loudly.

"Hey, Franky," Zoro replied. "You have no idea how good it is to see you."

Sanji scowled. Sure, Sanji was happy to see Franky too but Zoro didn't have to be so damn enthusiastic about it.

"Yeah, good to see you, Franky," Sanji mumbled.

As Franky approached the cell to unlock it, Sanji looked at the open door behind him. "Franky, why did you go through the door?" There was a hole right there.

"It's a door, bro. That's what it's for," Franky answered easily.

Sanji's mouth kicked up into a little half-smile. Fuck, but he had missed his crew. He couldn't wait to cook for them again. His hands had been idle for far too long.

He flinched. Okay, so maybe idle wasn't the right word…

Franky unlocked Zoro's chains and he immediately stretched his arms. To anyone else it probably would have looked like his expression hadn't changed, but Sanji could read the relief all over him. He'd never said a word about it, but having his arms in that position so long must have been more than a little uncomfortable.

Sanji kicked his legs up one at a time after Franky freed him. Seemed everything was moving okay. He could definitely fight, and that's all that really mattered.

"Alright, let's go!" Luffy yelled with a fist pump.

"Where are the others?" Zoro asked as he left the cell.

"Chopper's outside, Brook and Usopp are in here somewhere, and we left the girls back on the ship because Nami said beautiful women like them were too delicate for the cold and Robin didn't disagree, so," he shrugged.

"Come onnnnn, let's gooooo!" Luffy insisted from his hole in the wall before running out to the left. Franky followed, using the door, then Zoro.

Who turned right.

Sanji grabbed his hand to pull him in the other direction. "Where are you going, dumbass?" He exclaimed as they ran down the corridor. "Luffy and Franky ran this way. You literally just saw them do it."

"I want to find my swords," Zoro argued.

"Find them on the way out, Mosshead!" Sanji yelled before hearing Luffy yell 'Gum Gum Whip!' from the corridor ahead of them. The mountain shook once more and now whole bits of rock were starting to fall from the ceiling.

"He's going to kill us all," Sanji moaned and ran faster.

"Relax," Zoro replied casually as he ran alongside Sanji. "He'll get us out in time."

They ran and ran through twisting corridor after twisting corridor. This place really was a big fucking maze. But Sanji still didn't see how it'd take someone three days to find a fucking blanket.

They came across a lot of unconscious people. Luffy and Franky were obviously clearing the way. Sanji wished they'd leave some of the Bomber Pirates for him. He felt like kicking things.

At one point they collided with Usopp who yelled in distress before realising it was them.

"Oh, hey, it's you! Phew." He threw a wrapped bundle at Zoro. "I found your swords, by the way! No need to thank me, I was only doing my duty."

"Okay then, I won't," Zoro replied. Usopp deflated. Sanji heard the worrying sounds of large rocks breaking.

"Catch up later – time to go!" He yelled and started running again, pulling Zoro along behind him.

After running what felt like mile after mile after mile, Sanji saw the light of salvation in front of them. It was at that moment that the mountain literally started crashing down around them with an overwhelming onslaught of noise.

"Fuck!" Sanji yelled and ran faster. Zoro was beside him, Usopp just behind. They were making good distance. But when Sanji looked over his shoulder, he saw that the mountain was going to beat them to the exit.

Usopp was sobbing, screaming that he didn't want to die here, and Sanji couldn't agree more. He'd just started to really despair when a long, stretchy arm appeared from the light and wrapped around them all before slinging them outside onto what appeared to be a very large green and red sled with Brook, Luffy, and Franky on it and none other than Chopper pulling it.

"Took you guys long enough!" Chopper yelled by way of greeting as he sprang into action, jolting the sled forward. Sanji, Zoro, and Usopp quickly settled into the sled with Franky and Brook in front of them and Luffy sitting on the head of the sled, of course.

"Hello Sanji, Zoro. Lovely to see you on this fine day," Brook greeted with a small bow.

"We are literally about to be pummelled into specks of dust by a mountain!" Sanji yelled at him in lieu of his own greeting. They were moving very quickly down the face of the mountain now, but there was no guarantee it'd be fast enough.

"Ah, but the sun is shining and the air is refreshingly clear," Brook replied breezily. "Besides, I know we'll make it back to the ship – I can feel it in my bones! Yo ho ho ho!"

"Faster, Chopper, faster!" Luffy yelled in between bouts of laughter. "This is so fun!" He turned around to the rest of them. "Isn't this so fun, guys?"

Sanji and Zoro just stared at Luffy as they held on. Brook and Franky laughed along with Luffy. Usopp, who looked like he was about to pass out, just wheezed.

"We're already going so fast the sled is about to run me over!" Chopper yelled, panicking.

"Then just transform back, hop on, and enjoy the ride!" Luffy shouted in response. "Whaaa-hooo!"

Chopper did transform and hop on the sled but he was not enjoying the ride. "We're going to die! We're going to die!"

Sanji looked behind them, at the whole top of the mountain pounding down the slope towards them only about fifty feet away. Yes, they probably were going to die.

Zoro nudged Sanji with his shoulder. "Stop stressing out, Cook. We'll be fine."

"Fuck off, Mosshead!" Sanji responded, but he was smiling as he said it.

And Zoro's words proved to be prophetic. Finally, Sanji could see the bay below them and the golden shining light that was the Thousand Sunny. Home. To make matters even better, as the ground beneath them levelled out, the mountain rumbling towards them slowed and slowed and slowed again until only pebbles were chasing them.

All of them breathed a collective sigh of relief, except for Luffy who sighed in disappointment. Chopper transformed and hooked himself up to the sled again to pull them over the flat ground towards the Sunny.

Sanji looked behind them at the mountain that was now no more. Bob was going to be devastated.

"Hey," Usopp said suddenly, apparently having recovered from his near-death experience. "Why are you guys holding hands?"

It was then that Sanji realised he'd never let go of Zoro's hand from when he'd first grabbed it outside the prison and he'd kept holding his hand all the way out of the hideout and all the way down the mountain. He fought not to burn bright red as he dropped Zoro's hand like it was covered with pus-filled Black Plague sores.

"It was an accident!" Sanji yelled, flustered despite his best efforts.

Zoro just shrugged and looked away.

Usopp narrowed his eyes at them. "Something's different about you two."

"Can't imagine what you mean," Sanji replied as casually as he could manage at the moment, which, unfortunately, wasn't much.

He glanced at Zoro who was still looking away. Sanji guessed there'd be no help from that quarter. Stupid man.

"I can't quite put my finger on it," Usopp mused. "But rest assured, I will find out! The Great Usopp always finds out!"

"What're you guys yapping on about back there?" Franky said from in front of them.

"Sanji and Zoro were holding hands," Usopp said, pointing at them accusingly.

"Yo ho ho ho!" Brook laughed. "I have only known you all for but a short time, but even I am well aware that is highly unusual behaviour!"

"It was an accident!" Sanji grounded out through clenched teeth.

Zoro crossed his arms and remained steadfastly silent.

"And what are those weird marks on your neck, hm?" Usopp asked threateningly.

Sanji entered his third coughing fit for the day. Fuck, he'd forgotten about those.

"They…" Sanji began, faltered.

"There were rats," Zoro said, finally joining the conversation. His tone was even but was that a slight blush spread over his cheeks?

"Rats?" Usopp narrowed his eyes. "Then why did they only bite Sanji?"

"Because who would want to bite that idiot!" Sanji snapped.

Usopp stroked his chin with his fingers thoughtfully. "Hmmmmm…"

Mercifully, that was when they reached the Sunny. Sanji deflated. Now he just had to hope no one else noticed the marks, but he was about to see the two most observant people on the crew so he didn't like his chances. He'd just have to stick with the lame rat excuse Zoro had concocted.

"Zoro! Sanji! Hey!" Nami yelled at them from the Sunny, waving animatedly, with Robin smiling silently beside her.

Sanji smiled. It was good to be back together with all of them and not crushed under a mountain with Zoro.

"Nami! Robin!" Sanji yelled back, waving. "How wonderful to see your lovely faces again after so long!"

The was a beat of anticipatory silence. Sanji looked around, confused. Brook, Franky, Usopp, and Chopper were looking at him expectantly. Zoro was glaring at him. Luffy was picking his nose.

"What?" Sanji asked, confused.

"That's it?" Franky said.

"'Lovely faces'? That's all you've got for them after not seeing them for six days?" Chopper sounded incredulous.

"And where's your blood nose?" Brook sounded confused.

Sanji didn't know what the hell they were on about.

"Hmmmm…definitely odd," Usopp pondered.

Sanji just mentally shrugged and made his way up the gangplank to the ship, eventually being followed by the others after they got over whatever random shock they had suffered.

Sanji smiled at Robin and Nami. Robin and Nami immediately looked at his neck. Sanji fought another blush. He could not give these sharp-eyed women an inch to work with.

Nami turned to Robin with a sly smile. "Do you think…?" She trailed off with her eyebrows raised.

Robin smiled slightly and nodded. Nami's sly smile grew devious as she sidled up to Sanji.

"What happened to your neck, Sanji?" She asked innocently.

Sanji eyed her suspiciously. "Uh…rats."

Nami sidled in so close her boobs pressed up against his arm. "Oh no, not rats! Poor Sanji, that must have been so painful," she cooed.

This was definitely weird. "Uh…I guess?" Painful was about the complete opposite end of the spectrum to what getting those marks had felt like.

Don't think about it right now! She'll be able to tell! He warned himself.

Nami wrapped her arms around one of his and pressed in. Sanji really started to worry now. Something was definitely up and he didn't trust it. It'd probably be too much to hope that she'd just missed him these six days, but unfortunately, he knew her.

"Well, I'm so glad you're back now, Sanji," she purred.

Sanji was sweating. He was downright terrified. "Uh…thanks?"

Sanji looked around at his crew, hoping for some form of salvation of Nami's machinations, only to find they'd all scattered, completely uninterested in his peril.

All except Zoro, who was standing there, arms crossed, glaring so hard at the place Nami's arms were wrapped around Sanji that Sanji was surprised he and Nami hadn't caught fire.

What the hell?

Nami looked at Zoro then looked at Sanji and then back at Zoro and laughed and laughed. "Oh, this is too good!" She crowed, then abruptly let go of Sanji and walked away, humming to herself.

That was when Luffy trailed over to him, drool dripping from his mouth. "Sanji, can you cook us some food now? I've barely eaten in six days. I'm hungry."

Sanji laughed. He was surprised Luffy had waited that long. "Do we even have any food left for me to cook?"

Luffy nodded. "Uh-huh. Franky wouldn't tell me the code to the fridge."

Ah, bless Franky. "Okay, I'll go whip something up now."

"Can it be meat?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"Don't worry, I'll get you some meat," Sanji assured him.

"Wha-hoo!" Luffy yelled before bounding away to likely pester someone else about something.

Sanji was just happy to have something to do. He was filled with an anxious kind of energy, buzzing uncomfortably under his skin, and cooking always soothed him.

But it felt…weird to go somewhere Zoro wasn't when they'd been together for almost six full days. He glanced over to him, only to see him talking with Robin, smiling, like he didn't have a care in the world.

Sanji swallowed deeply. Fine. That was…fine.

He marched into the kitchen – absurdly pleased he could march instead of shuffle – and unthinkingly started getting ingredients from the fridge and pantry, before putting some pans on the stove and turning on the heat. They didn't have much food left over, but enough to get to the next island. Or then, maybe not considering how much Luffy could eat and how deprived he'd been recently.

Sanji happily busied himself with the familiar routines of preparing food. It was only when he saw a cucumber in the fridge and remembered that one conversation with Zoro, the one during which Zoro had said all the things he valued about Sanji, that it all crashed down on him, every feeling he'd kept so carefully at bay around the others. He slumped over and put his face in his hands.

It was over. It was truly over. He felt…he felt…

Devastated. Completely and utterly devastated. And very, very confused.

All the questions he hadn't thought to ask in his wonderful little bubble with Zoro started pinging around his brain.

How the fuck had he started feeling this way about Zoro? What the fuck had they done? It had seemed all so innocuous in the cell. Just two guys getting off in a moment in time that existed in that space and no other – their own little pocket of reality untouched by the outside world and its consequences. But now their little pocket had burst open and it was bleeding into every part of him.

And did all this mean that he was into guys now? Was he gay? Or pansexual, like Zoro? But could he be gay or pansexual when Zoro was the only guy he'd ever gotten hard for? Who even was he now? Everyone knew him as the woman-obsessed lothario. He knew himself as the woman-obsessed lothario. Was all that just…gone? Replaced by Zoro?

He supposed he could just find a beautiful woman to sleep with when they finally got to Spa Island to see what was what – there'd be plenty of beautiful women there. But the idea of having sex and it not be Zoro's hard body against him, not Zoro's soft, mossy hair under his fingers, not Zoro sucking marks into his neck actually made him feel a little ill.

Oh, he was fucked.

He was going to have to avoid Zoro like he was an infectious disease. Because how could Sanji be around Zoro and not touch him? Not beg Zoro to just lie on top of him one more time? Sanji just had to be away from him. That was the only solution he could think of. He just had to do it. Because as much as he craved Zoro, he knew better than to hope that Zoro craved him back.

"This will pass," he whispered fervently to himself as he crouched on the kitchen floor. "This will pass."