DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

CH 8

Reflection

Rose

I didn't cry because I wanted a boy. I cried because I didn't want my daughter to live the same life I did. I didn't want her raised by the academy thinking she wasn't loved. As much as it pained me to love something that was a product of my assault. I couldn't not love her. The first time I felt her move it was unreal, then she really started kicking me. It was funny watching my belly move when she had hiccups. When I was in my room by myself I would have private conversations with her while rubbing my belly.

I couldn't let her go to an academy only to be used as fodder, her life not being her own. But what could I do? I had no money, no family that would help, I didn't even have a social security number to go live in the human world. Dimitri promised me he wouldn't let anything happen to us and that he would get me out of here. But how could I believe him, he's left me before.

I was questioning what I really wanted to do when I had the baby. Could I really give her up? My mom said she would have a job waiting for me, but was it worth it? After I didn't become Lissa's Guardian I almost quit. That's all I wanted to do was to protect her, she was my best friend and had lost so much. We had so many plans for what we were going to do after graduation. Right now neither of us was doing any of it.

Celeste was hanging with me today while I had my infusion. Dimitri would normally be here, but something was going on that they needed him to be at the gates. Alberta had called him a while ago and Celeste offered to sit with me. It was nice to talk to someone that had been in my shoes.

"Are you really okay with your daughter becoming a Guardian?"

"Yes and No. Look, I have no family and her dads family wants nothing to do with her. This is all I have ever known. Do I wish things were different? Yes, but can I change the world we've been born into? No. If one day she tells me she doesn't want to be a Guardian, I would figure a way to get her out. I would do anything for her and I know you would for your daughter."

"Can we just stay here? Raise our kids in a safe place away from everything?"

"I wish kiddo, I wish."

We watched trashy television for the rest of my infusion. We had nothing more to talk about, since the conversation had gotten so heavy before. I was trying hard to stay awake, but in the end I lost out to sleep. I was woken by Dimitri's voice, he was by the doorway talking to Celeste.

"Is everything ok?" They both stopped talking and looked my way.

"Yeah." Said Celeste.

"I don't believe you."

"There's someone here to see you."

DIMITRI

I was with Rose when Alberta called me over the radio that she needed me right away. There was something going on at the entrance to the compound. The place was gated and warded no one got in or out without permission. I had no clue who could be here that was causing so much trouble, but I was in for a surprise.

"Tanner, what is going on?"

"Zmey is here demanding he be let in." I stopped dead in my tracks, what in the world was Abe Mazer, better known as Zmey doing here? I had met Abe when I was younger, he was in and out of Baia on "business". He was friendly with my mom as they had known each other for years. He wasn't a fan of my dad and when I beat him up at the age of thirteen I went to him for help. It came at a price, I owed him a favor, but it was worth it, my father left after that.

"I'll take care of this." I told Mickhail. I walked out the gate and towards him and his Guardian Pavel.

"Guardian Pavel, Mazer, what can I help you with?"

"Ah Belikov, nice to see you back in the ranks. Could you help me out here, Guardian Tanner doesn't seem to know who I am and won't let us through."

"Thanks. He's just following orders. If you're not on the list of approved visitors, we can't let you in."

"Belikov, you should know that I go wherever I please. Invitation or not.

I need to see someone that is residing here."

"I'm sorry, but if you know someone that is living here then you know you can't just visit."

"Ah yes, I appreciate your discretion and need to protect the girls. But it's of utmost importance that I see this person."

"Who exactly are you here to see?"

"Young Guardian Hathaway." The mask I had in my emotions almost dropped at her name.

"Who's to say she is even here?" I asked. Going into full protection mode.

"Look Belikov, I know about the relationship you had with her and I'm willing to overlook the fact it started when she was sixteen. I'm also willing to overlook how you just got up and left her." My face fell, how in the world did he know, we kept it on the downlow and never went public with our relationship.

"I know she's here and it would be to your benefit to let me through."

"I mean this with all due respect, but what do you want with Rose?"

"Let's just say I made a promise to her mother and after eighteen years it's been fulfilled."