Sonic's Boredom Curse
Written By TheMysticalClover08
Disclaimer: I don't own the Sonic the Hedgehog brand or any of its characters. This was all made for laughs. Try, key word being 'try," to enjoy the story!
Word Count: 1,143 (Not including anything in bold)
A blue streak raced towards Tails' workshop. The blue streak was none other than Sonic the hedgehog, the fastest thing alive. And right now, he was in a rush to find his best friend.
"Hey, Tails!" Sonic exclaimed upon finding his comrade. "I need your help, little bro!"
"Why, with what?" Tails asked, curious.
Sonic explained how bored he has been lately while Tails nodded along. After the speedster finished, Tails clapped his hands together once in confirmation.
"I get it now," The kit nodded. "We need to make things interesting!"
Sonic nodded in annoyance. "Yeah, that's what I've been saying!"
The fox pulled out his laptop and began typing furiously. The blue hedgehog peered over his buddy's shoulder to see what he was up to. Tails was running simulations, much to Sonic's utter bafflement.
"Dude, now? You're running some scienc-ey stuff now?!" Sonic grumbled.
"No, I'm running simulations. You see, something must have happened to curse you with such boredom. Have you dealt with Eggman lately?"
"Yeah, but it was exciting, I beat him so badly that he's pretty much out of commission for a while!" Sonic exclaimed, almost missing his nemesis.
"Well, what happened is that you probably just overused your existing energy, causing your boring energy to overtake your life!"
"...I thought you were supposed to be smart."
"I am smart!" Tails got up and shook Sonic by the shoulders furiously. "Don't you understand the graveness of this situation?! Your universal excitement has been drained out! You got to get it back!"
"Well, you're the genius," Sonic replied. "How am I supposed to even do such a thing?!"
Tails nodded, a serious expression on his face. "Well, in all my simulations, you end up DYING being a boring nobody."
"What?!" Sonic screamed. "That's terrible, what am I to do?!"
"Fear not, citizen!" Tails exclaimed, pointing his finger to the sky. "I, Miles Prower, have devised a solution to your problem!"
Sonic stared in confusion and shock. Why was Tails acting so strangely? "And that solution is…?"
"We have to put your life in danger to make things interesting again!" Tails said. "Ready for some extreme action?!"
"So you want me to push Sonic out of this helicopter?" Shadow confirmed with Tails as they sat in the backseat of a GUN helicopter above Station Square. "Isn't that a bit risky…?"
"Aw, come on, Shads!" Sonic laughed. "After all we've been through, you still doubt my abilities?!"
"It's not that!" Shadow growled. "It's just that this whole plan is plain stupid!"
Tails, leaning against the back wall of the air vehicle, put his cigar down. "Just kick him out already."
"...Fine." Shadow begrudgingly agreed, slapping Sonic in the face. This caused the hedgehog to slip and fall out.
"Aaaaaahh!"
"At least no one of value will be harmed." Shadow concluded, walking back to his seat and sitting down. "So… Do you want to see my collection of cigarettes I picked up off the street?"
"What the– Shadow, the hell is wrong with you?!" Tails exclaimed, looking appalled. "How long has this been going on?!"
"Well, the ultimate lifeform needs an ultimate activity," Shadow sighed. "Nobody seems to get that!"
Sonic was plummeting towards the Earth. If he could pull off a cool stunt like he usually could, his excitement was sure to come back, right? Well, regardless of if he was right or wrong, he was about to find out.
"Aw yeah!" He shouted as he was nearing the rooftops of Station Square. "If I can do some parkour to slow down my descent, that would be the most–!"
WUMP!
He smacked into a blimp. Yeah, you heard that right. Sonic the Hedgehog hit a blimp. The thing is, blimps don't usually fly above the city.
"That was lame," Sonic stuttered, before slipping off the flying object and splashing into the public pool. Drowning wasn't boring at least…
"I'm all out of ideas," The young genius grumbled. "Falling from a plane? Didn't work. Hide and seek with Omega? Well, ya got Rouge shot in the head. Getting drunk at a wild party? You passed out before the real fun could begin!"
"You s-sure you're out, buddy?" Sonic asked as he slowly lost hope.
"Well, there is one more idea I've got…" Tails said, resting his chin on his fist. "But it's a bit risky. I don't know about this one, Sonic."
Sonic got onto his knees and pleaded with his best friend. "I'm begging of you, little buddy! I can't die as a boring old man who is fascinated by nature documentaries and golf!"
Tails was about to say "no," but his response died in his throat. He looked Sonic in the eyes. The eyes of a person in distress. He couldn't let his friend down, there was no way he would. Sighing, he shuffled in his seat.
"...Alright," The young fox began to explain his plan to Sonic. One he had hoped he would never have to enact…
"Are you sure this is safe?" Sonic asked from the metallic table he was strapped to. "Cuz this table is kinda uncomfortable."
"Hopefully," Tails shrugged, putting on his safety goggles. "Don't move, this will only take ten seconds."
"Will it hurt?"
Tails sighed, preparing the device. "Yes."
"Phew, ya got me worried there for a– wait what?!" Sonic screamed as the two-tailed fox pulled down the lever. The weird machine attached to him gave him a large electric shock, causing him to scream in terror. "L-Let me go!"
Yanking himself free, the machine's wires began to tear. This caused it to malfunction and set the rug on fire. Ripping the helmet off Sonic panted in agony.
"Sonic, what have you done?!" Tails yelled, rushing for the fire extinguisher. But it was too late. The rest of the room was burning and the fire alarm was going off. "We have to get outta here!"
"Let's do it to–" A piece of the burning ceiling fell and smacked Sonic in the head. Collapsing, the young inventor had to drag him out.
As Tails watched the burning workshop in the distance, the blue blur was beginning to wake up. Blinking a few times, he tried getting up. Unfortunately, he winced in pain and fell back over.
"What have you done…" Tails muttered, not even turning to face his friend. "You weren't supposed to do that."
"Well, uh, hey!" Sonic replied, half grinning, half wincing. "My boredom curse has finally lifted, eh?"
"Sonic, we're through!" Tails screamed, smacking his former friend in the face. Sonic fell back over.
"Man, when I finally got up, too!" Sonic groaned from the dirt covered ground, slowly beginning to repeat the painful process.
"Consider our friendship over," Tails growled, flying off into the distance.
"Tails, noooo!" Sonic screamed. "Take me to the emergency room first, at the very least!"'
The End…?
Who do you think was the traitor, Sonic or Tails? Personally, I believe it was Tails since he was performing some… unethical experiments on his blue friend. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this for what it was: Garbage. (Just kidding, kind of.)
This was the first "comedy" fanfic I've written, and I don't think I did too bad of a job. Conceptually at least as it leaves a lot to be desired. And yes, I'm aware that they are acting a bit out of character.
Written and finished on 12-20-2023