Napoleon and Illya were in their office working on, of all things, their combined paperwork. The usual, but never taken for granted or anticipated, THRUSH holiday slowdown had started a few days before Christmas and seemed on track for staying that way until at least New Year's Day. Napoleon had shocked his partner by saying he didn't want to start the New Year with old paperwork on his desk so they were going to dedicate at least two days to clearing their desks.
"That's it!" Napoleon declared. "I just signed off on my last mission report and I have finished all of my probationary agent reports and they're in my Outbox ready to go to The Old Man for his review and signature. I have completed my overdue expense account requests and have my current one up to date so it can be submitted on time for once. I am on schedule to head into the New Year completely unencumbered by this year's business."
"For once, Napoleon, you have actually done your own paperwork and finished before me! I will remember this when I see the paperwork in my Inbox reproducing all by itself!"
Napoleon opened his mouth to respond with a snarky remark when someone knocked at the door. Giving his partner a look that said, I'll get back to you later, he called out, "Come in!"
The door slid open to reveal Glenna and Marian, their two friends who worked as a secretary and in Human Resources, respectively. They liked these women partly because they were immune to their charms, but mostly because they both felt like they treated them like human beings instead of pieces of meat or trophies.
"Hello, girls!" Napoleon's smiled dazzled as he greeted them. "I hope you both had a fantastic Christmas! How are you?"
Marian spoke first. "I'm, we're fine, Napoleon, thanks for asking." She glanced at Glenna, suddenly unsure what to say.
Illya noticed their discomfort and asked, "Is something wrong? You both look upset."
Glenna flushed red. "I'm not sure we should even be bringing this to you, but we don't know what else to do."
Alarmed, both agents stared at them. "What is going on?" Illya asked. He looked at the redhead. "Marian?"
"There is a secretary, Theresa," Marian said, "who is in a…problematic relationship and we are very concerned. She came to work yesterday with a black eye and it's not the first time."
Glenna chimed in. "She has been married to her husband for six years. Their relationship was always a bit volatile, but he lost his job about eight months ago and has become horribly abusive to her."
"We didn't know," Marian said. "We would see her with bruises and she would explain them away by saying she had bumped into something or had tripped and fallen. We all arrived at the support staff entrance at the same time yesterday morning and G and I could tell something was wrong. I had Theresa come with us to my office and when I asked her what had happened, she just broke down and cried. She told us about her husband losing his job and how much more controlling he had become. She said it's like he resents that she has a job. He tells her she emasculates him when she asks him to start dinner or take the children to school. When she tells him that's not what she's doing, that she just wants him to do more around the house instead of just watching television all day, he gets angry and slaps her around for making him feel like he's not a man. On Christmas Day, he started drinking around noon and worked himself into a rage because she had bought the presents for the children. Their kids are young enough to believe in Santa Claus so all the gifts were from Santa and he flipped out because…well, who knows why. He threw the entire dinner into the garbage and scared the kids terribly. She said she can't take it anymore and wants to take the children and leave, but doesn't have anywhere to go."
Glenna picked up the narrative again. "So, I made some phone calls to my church's Women's Group members and one of them told me about a very nice shelter that has room for Theresa and her two kids, but she said he knows he crossed a line, so he dropped her off at work and told her to wait for him to pick her up. He's not letting her out of his sight unless it's for work and since it's Christmas break, he has the children at home with him. Plus, he has her checkbook and savings account book."
The two agents were furious. The idea that an Innocent, any Innocent, was being treated badly ticked them both off to no end, but an UNCLE employee? Someone who was supporting the agents who put their lives on the line every day to keep the world safe? That idea was completely unacceptable.
"Glenna," Napoleon said, "Call that shelter and make sure they have room for her and her family and make the reservation. Tell them she will be there tonight. Let me know when it's done. Marian, give me Theresa's address and tell her that Illya and I will be at her door ten minutes after she gets home. And tell her not to worry."
Glenna and Marian would say later after they had done what Napoleon had told them to do, that they had never seen him act like the Chief Enforcement Agent of UNCLE North America nor had they ever seen the dangerous side of his partner surface. They agreed that neither look was one they wanted to see again.
They left by the agents' exit through Del Floria's Tailor Shoppe and drove to Fresh Meadows, Queens where Theresa lived and parked at a coffee shop walking distance from the apartment she shared with her family. Glenna had notified them by communicator that Theresa's husband had picked her up approximately forty – five minutes after they had left, so they were expected to be home in twenty minutes.
Thirty minutes later, the two men knocked on Theresa's door. They could hear yelling on the other side and moments later, a male voice asked, "Who is it?"
"My name is Napoleon Solo from UNCLE and I was sent here to speak to Theresa. Open the door." As an afterthought, he added, "Please."
The door stayed shut stubbornly as Napoleon and Illya could hear an angry mele voice yelling, "Why is he here?" and Theresa answering, "Well, I won't know until I can ask him!"
Finally, they could hear high – heeled shoes approach the door and it was unlocked and opened. "Agent Solo, Agent Kuryakin, hello. Why are you here? Has something happened?"
Illya stepped forward into the apartment. "What has happened is that we were informed that this,,,man has been abusing you and you now wish to leave with your children. Is that true?"
Her husband, whose name was Fred, not that it mattered, stepped into Illya's space and said, "Who the hell do you think you are to come in here and accuse me of anything?"
Illya regarded him cooly. "I know I am the man who will kill you for abusing a coworker of mine if she wants me to and your body would never be found. Theresa, do you want to gather your children and leave as I have been told you wish to do?"
She stood there, with tears in her eyes and said, "Yes, yes I do.I can't do this anymore, Fred. I'm scared and the kids are scared. I love you, but I love me and them more. We have to go."
Napoleon buffed his fingernails against his suit jacket and said, "Theresa, pack up your and your children's things along with whatever items around the apartment you want to take. If it's too large to take now, we'll get some support staff to come get it."
Fred bristled in anger and Napoleon regarded him like he would a cockroach. "I know you think you are tough because you can slap around a woman, but I promise you it won't go well for you if you attack me. In fact, please attack me. I've been doing paperwork for a few days and I am bored senseless because I haven't killed anyone in a while. So please, jump me. And I will give you a warning because you are the spouse of an UNCLE employee: My partner looks skinny and underfed, but he is more ruthless and bloodthirsty than I am. So, before you start thinking that you can take him, be forewarned: He will kill you faster than I will."
The man paled in response to Napoleon's words. He watched in helpless fury as his wife prepared to leave. She packed all the children's clothing and most of hers in two large suitcases and gathered her important papers, including her check and bank books. When Fred saw her emerge from the bedroom with them, he opened his mouth to protest and was shoved back into his easy chair by Illya.
"You are finished yelling for the day," the Russian told him in a voice that dripped ice. "Theresa, if you are ready, take your children to the coffee shop in the strip mall across the street. Leave the suitcases; Napoleon and I will bring them."
She went to the children's room and they could hear her telling them they were leaving on an adventure with her coworkers so they should put their coats on now. Moments later, the children emerged followed by their mother. She nodded to them and without another word, led the children out the door.
"Where are you taking her and how am I supposed to get in touch with her?"
Napoleon replied, "Where we are taking her is none of your business and if she wants to talk to you, she'll call you. I suggest you spend the time you used to spend beating her to look for a job." He bent down, picked up a suitcase and turned his back to leave.
Illya glanced down to pick up the other suitcase and Fred took the opportunity to come off the chair to attack him. The Russian heard him and without even looking, kicked out his right leg viciously and caught the man is the solar plexus, causing him to drop with an "oof!" to the floor where he lay gasping for breath.
Napoleon looked back at Fred, smirked and said, "Told you."
On the drive back to Manhattan, the three adults kept the conversation light as they didn't want to add to the children's distress.
Illya drove directly to the address Glenna had given him and, as promised, she was waiting outside. She smiled broadly when she saw the car approach and helped the children out by holding their hands as they exited. "Take the kids and go on inside, Theresa. Marian's inside and will make the introductions." They watched the threesome head into the building. "How did it go?" she asked quietly.
"No problem at all," Napoleon said. "Piece of cake."
"I can't thank you, both of you, enough. It's a shame that the organization doesn't have protocols in place to help employees with domestic abuse issues. It happens more often than you would think."
"I had no idea," Napoleon said. "I will speak to Lisa Rogers about it and suggest that something be put in place. Oh, please tell Theresa that I will make sure that Section III provides an escort for her to ensure that Fred doesn't ambush her coming to or leaving from work."
"I will. The children will be enrolled in a school close to the shelter so he won't know where to find them, either. I better go in; Theresa needs my support, too."
Illya took her hand and kissed it. "You are an excellent friend, Glenna. Let us know if Fred approaches her again. We will be happy to take care of him."
Glenna smiled at them both even as she thought how dangerous these men truly are and how glad she is that they like her.
"Thank you, Illya. See you at work!" And with that, she took her leave.
The two men got back into the car and Napoleon said, "Let's go to my place and celebrate our good deed! I have a couple of steaks thawed, potatoes to roast and all the fixings for a salad. What do you say?"
"I say: Let's go."