A/N: We're back! Hope you're ready to laugh!
In other news, I've a holiday vacation coming up in three days -30th through the 1st- and I'll do my best to update during it, but I've got a bunch of family coming from all over the country for New Years, meaning this old geezer's not likely to have a moment to himself.
Doesn't help that Covid was awful.
Laid me out for an entire week and devastated my update schedule.
I'm still not fully recovered, but at least I can write again with some semblance of my former vigor.
With my fifteen year anniversary on this site finally here, I find myself reflecting on the little things in life. What was once a lazy pastime meant for me and a few friends really grew and evolved over time. There are days when I look back on the last fifteen years here and I wonder if anyone will remember me; if I made an impact, despite never making a single cent on any of these stories. Some days were happier than others, and some stories I enjoyed writing WAY too much; to the point where I'd stay up all night working on them.
And of course, there are times when I look to the future and wonder what will become of things when I'm gone.
Of course, I try not to dwell on the latter overmuch; I'm still alive and still writing. In an ideal world, I'd like to keep doing so for as long as I can. But old age is catching up to me and these days, the world is filled with so much madness and death. Feels like everyone's lost their minds, the world over. Even before that, so many friends and fellow writers I once knew are gone, now. Will I still be here in twenty years? Ten? Five? Its a chilling thought. But for now, I'm still here, still writing.
Not Q&A for a bit, as someone complained. Ah, well. Can't please everyone I suppose. Trying my best to keep everyone entertained here.
Alight, I've kept you long enough. As ever, I own no quotes, references, quotes, themes or memes!
They're simply tributes to legends far greater than I; an old man who writes as a pastime.
SPOILERS FOR CHAINSAW MAN AHEAD:
"Wanna know the kinda hunters a devil fears most? The ones with a few screws loose.
But as for you...kid, I don't think you've got any screws left.
I'll give you this; you're brave, being with her.
It won't last. Nothing with Makima does.
Sooner or later...she'll get you killed."
.
..
...maybe, but it'll be a helluva ride."
~Kishibe & Naruto.
Cuddles and Cutthroats
"So let me get this straight. Devils are a thing in this world?"
Makima hummed a little. "They are."
"And you're one of them."
"I am." she shifted her weight ever so slightly on the bed, quietly reveling in the annoyed noise Naruto made as she cuddled up against him. "That's a secret few know these days." her hand traced his chest lightly, fingers running the length of his ribs. "I'll thank you to keep it quiet."
"Look, I don't mind, its just that I kinda expected you to have...you know...
She tilted her head mildly bemused. "Have horns and a tail?
"And?" Naruto arched an eyebrow. "What do you want?"
Oh? Were they bantering, now, while they cuddled? She supposed she could indulge him. It wasn't often she lost a fight, let alone indulged in something like this. Cuddling with one's clothes on was something of a novel sensation for her. It had been a long while since she'd been genuinely honest with someone, too.
"If you must know," she rolled over to look him in the eye, "I want an idea world, without fear, death, and bad movies."
Naruto snorted. "That last one was oddly specific."
She shrugged. "We all want what we want.
...there's more to it, isn't there?"
Clever boy.
"To that end," she began stroking his chin. "I need to obtain a certain Chainsaw Devil. He possesses the unique ability to erase any devil he slaughters. If he's alone, that'll make things easier. If he's made a contract with someone, I'll need to break them in order to acquire him.
"And all this is for the sake of your dream?"
"Hmm." She bit his thumb, trying to get a reaction out of him. "It is."
"Is that so?" He drew his hand back and gave her a deadpan look. "What if I want you to stop?"
Such a pure one. Makima couldn't help but titter a little at that. "I'm afraid that option isn't on the table."
A blond brow quirked as he placed a fist against his chin. "I could kick your ass again. How that for tabling it?"
"You could," she allowed, "But a fight between us now would only make the two of us look bad. Surely you don't want that? I'd hate to have to report this to the chief cabinet secretary...
"Don't much care what people think of me, lady...
...he really didn't, did he? Naruto wasn't broken, not by any means or measure, but he clearly had more than a few...what was the darn term Kishibe was so fond of using? A few screws loose? Ah! That was the one! She'd already explained the concept of Devils to him in loose terms, and he'd been mildly amused by it all; so much so that she couldn't help but lend credence to his earlier statement.
"I know why the shinigami sent me to this world."
He'd said those words earlier during their battle and now they rang true once more. Was he truly not a devil, but a warrior from another world? If so, how had he wound up here? What was his world like? Did they have devils over there as well, or something far worse? The prospect intrigued Makima more than she cared to admit. Not nearly so much as the legendary Chainsaw Man, but it was a change, something new, something different, unexpected even.
She had to have him. She needed to make him hers. She must.
By hook or crook, she would turn the tables until she was the one holding the leash, not him.
"...fair enough." in the end, she decided to table her curiosity and let him fiddle with her unbound hair. "You still smell like nine different beasts, you know."
For some reason, that made Naruto smile. "I'm surprised you can tell."
"What can I say? I have a keen sense of smell."
"I noticed."
"Hmmm." She nuzzled his neck, luxuriating in the feel of him and the annoyed noise he made. "How would you like to work for Public safety with me? I can promise you a fantastic wage."
One of his eyes swept her way, mildly annoyed. "Not under you."
Aha! The hook was baited! Now to reel him in!
"Are you certain?" She took his right hand in hers and guided it to her bosom. "The job has the best benefits and I can be very...persuasive."
A blond brow rose...and absolutely nothing else. "It'll take more than coppin' a feel to win me over ya know."
...is that so?"
Makima's opinion of Naruto Uzumaki rose several notches in that moment. Seemed he wasn't easily won over by the promise of sex, then. Good. She'd be disappointed if he were. Easy though it might be to use them, she found herself secretly disliking those who were easily led by their lust.
"Partners, then?" she amended her initial offer. "Just think of the good you can do."
"You mean working together as equals? Don't make me laugh." Those whiskered cheeks dimpled in a devil-may-care smile, and for a fleeting instant Makima could have sworn something incredibly ancient spoke through him; there was something in his tone that gave it away. "Ordinarily I'd agree, but we both know you're not as powerful as you pretend to be."
And didn't that just gall?
A brief spark of anger flashed through her, quickly quelled. "You enjoy pushing my buttons, don't you?"
Naruto clasped both hands behind his head and grinned at her "Its one of the few joys I have in this world, yes."
Hmm. Snarky. Two could play that game. It had been...so long since she'd actually enjoyed a bit of banter with someone. But the last word would be hers...one way or another. She sat up, tugged down her tie, and rolled her shoulders. Buttons popped and her shirt pooled at her waist, exposing a black lace bra, snug against her bosom.
Her erstwhile -what was he? A rival? A potential lover? Maybe her master?- blond glanced her up and down but didn't take the bait. He was much too smart for that. "You just have to be in control, don't you?"
"Its who I am." She shrugged one shoulder, idly toying with the bra strap there. "Control is a key facet of my life, whether that involves controlling, or being controlled. So? Are you going to sit there or...?
His hand rose and stopped just short of her face, fingers splayed, a clear gesture to stop.
Makima did, just shy of unclasping her bra and baring herself to him entirely.
This whiskered warrior had impressive restraint, she'd give him that.
"How rude." she feigned a pout. "Here I am offering myself to you, and you're turning me down...?"
For a moment, just an instant really, his eyes flashed red. "On my terms, not yours."
Terms? Now those she could understand. "And what terms would those be?"
"Lemme see here," he began counting off the fingers on his right hand. "Ideally, I'd like to take you out first, buy you flowers, get to know you, treat you to dinner, maybe see a movie...that sort of thing."
He had her at movies.
So he intended to court her properly. Amusing. No one had done that before.
Oh, there had been attempts, but this one actually piqued her interest.
Today truly was a day of firsts, it seemed.
Remarkable, really. She was quite confident in her charms; she'd wooed both men and women before. Naruto was the first soul in recent memory to actively resist her like this. Aki would've been eating out her hand by now, to say nothing of Himeno, Kobeni and the rest. Even poor Power would've been putty in her hands.
Yet still, Naruto Uzumaki resisted.
It made her feel...warm.
How quaint.
"There's someone I'd like you to meet." quick as a flash, she stood, throwing her shirt back on. "She's a strange, surly little thing, but I think the two of you would get along splendidly.
"Oi," Naruto made no move whatsoever to rise from her bed, "I didn't say I was working with you, yet."
She peered over her shoulder. "But you are amenable to it. Help me with my hair, won't you?"
A long-suffering sigh drawled through the air. "Persistent little thing, aren't you...
His fingers began to thread through her hair with surprising gentleness.
She craned her neck back to smile at him. "...does this mean I win?"
"Keep dreaming, sweetheart."
(.0.0.0.)
Makima brought him to her office readily enough, but not to her superiors.
For that at least, Naruto was grateful.
Not that he'd ever admit it.
He wasn't sure he wanted to meet with the leaders of this so-called "Public Safety" given that he hadn't yet agreed to work for Makima, much less with her. If she thought showing him a few fresh faces was going to sway him...well, it made him curious, but he wasn't about to crumble so easily.
That said, her office was a surprisingly spartan space all things considered, relatively devoid of ornamentation. Makima didn't strike him as the sentimental sort.
He didn't miss her sidelong glances when she thought he wasn't looking either. Sneaky girl wasn't sneaky at all. Really, he was blond not blind.
Tough. If she really craved unconditional affection that bloody badly, she should get herself a few dogs or something.
"Ah, perfect timing." Makima sat behind her desk suddenly, drawing him from his reverie. "She's here."
The door crashed open and "she" came barreling through like a ballistic missile.
He'd sensed the newcomer long before her bombastic entrance.
Not big surprise.
"Prostrate yourself, human!" a darling girl with bright eyes and pink hair stormed in and struck a triumphant pose. "For I am Power! Are you to be my so-called partner?!"
"..."
A beat of silence fell over the office.
Naruto tiled his head a few clicks to the right, mildly perplexed. "...are those horns?"
Makima hummed behind. "Did I mention that she's a Fiend?"
He sighed. "You did not, no."
"Ooops~?"
Makima's newfound sass aside, Naruto found himself mildly intrigued by the newcomer. Well, wonders of wonders. So this was a Fiend. He'd heard they were each distinctive in their own rights and this "Power"...certainly wasn't the quiet type. He wasn't surprised when she marched right up to him and gave him a good long look. This one certainly lacked fear if nothing else.
"Why do you stare at me so?!" she grinned suddenly, thumbing her chin. "Could it be that you are afraid-
A muscle jumped in his jaw.
THUNK!
His hand descended upon Power's skull and struck right between her horns in a ruthless karate chop. 'Heh. Always wanted to do that.'
"Ow!" Poor Power recoiled with a yelp, cradling the rising welt he'd left behind. "What was that for?!"
"For implying something stupid." he lowered his still steaming hand. "Think before you speak."
She conjured a blade of blood to her hand. "I'll kill you!"
Kurama chortled softly in his head. "You can try."
"Now, now, Power." Makima steepled both fingers and laid her chin atop them, her smile never once wavering. "Naruto speaks with my authority. You should treat him the same respect you give me. After all, you wouldn't want to lose your head now, would you?"
Naruto expected many things in that instant. Anger. An explosion of rage.
"But why?!" instead the fiery fiend wrung her hands and surprised him with a subdued whine. "You're already scary enough! Why are there two of you now-wait. What's that smell?" She gave up on her rant, leaned in and sniffed him, much to his chagrin. "That scent...are you a fiend as well?"
Naruto flicked her forehead, drawing another whine fro her. "No."
Her eyes lit up. "Then are you to be my partner?"
A sigh. "Also a no."
She flung up her hands. "Then why do you torment me so, human?! Perhaps I really should slay you and be done with this!"
Naruto frowned. "You're certainly something, but I'm starting to lose my patience. SIT."
Killing intent flashed out, blasting the fiend's hair back in an unseen breeze.
For a moment, he wondered if the surly fiend would listen.
And then, much to his great surprise. Power sat.
.
..
'...hmm. I wonder if...?"
On a whim, Naruto held out his right hand.
"Paw!"
Power's hand smacked into his.
Behind him, Makima began to giggle.
A/N: Aaand there we have it.
Would you like this to continue? Moreoever, would you like weekly updates? Ya or nay! By all means let me know!
So...in the immortal words of Atlas... ...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?
And enjoy the previews. You'll see them soon enough.
If this remains a story, of course.
Ya'll ain't prepared for Power.
(Previews)
"Help me find Meowy!"
...who or what the hell is a Meowy?"
"Were you not listening?! Meowy is my cat! You help people, don't you, human? So help me!"
"Ha? Who do you think you are, givin' me orders, oi?!"
He glared at her until she faltered.
"P-Pretty please?"
You're one of those mature, teasing types aren't you?
Himeno winked at him with her good eye. Bingo~!
Right, you're going to be a handful.
Is this everyone?
Well, we're missing a few at the moment.
One look at Kobeni and he made up his mind.
"Alright."His hands clamped down on the skittish girl's shoulders, effectively anchoring her in pace. "I'm adopting you."
"Hweh?!
"You don't have to call me "papa" or anything, but I'm gonna help you deal with those nerves of yours, okay?"
Denji tilted his head. "Wait, if Makima's basically the mom, does that make Naruto the dad?
Aki absolutely choked on his spit. "How can you even say that?!"
"I mean its obvious, ain't it? They got that parent vibe."
"...do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me? Now be a good boy and die."
"Makima, no."
"Aww, not even a little?"
Naruto began to tap his foot.
...boo." she dropped her victim with a sigh.
"Denji, my man, trust me when I say you DON'T wanna stick it in crazy."
"Ain't that what you're doing?"
"Yes," Naruto flicked his forehead, "But the differences is I can beat Makima's ass if she does something stupid. I've done so several times. Here, lemme tell you a story...
"Oi, oi, oi...just what the hell are you?"
"Annoyed is what I am." Naruto dug the bullet out of his forehead with a sigh. "Really? Guns? You thought guns would stop me? I'll let you in on a little secret. Makima's pretends to be nice. I don't." he made to run a hand through his hair, only to realize he'd gotten blood all over it. "You just ruined a perfectly good suit and tried to kill Himeno." huh. the world was tipsy. Was he drunk after all? "Time to die."
He swept past and tore a gunman's head clean off their shoulders.
The girl panicked and raised her right hand. "Snake-
"I don't think so. Kurama! BITE!"
EDIT: Hope you enjoyed~! Have a great day~!
R&R! =D