The holidays were nearly over, and the Lupin household was quiet. Remus hadn't said much since the incident with his father although Lyall had apologised. He had come into Remus's room the following morning and sat down on Remus's bed, looking rather guilty. He'd apologised for calling him Dahlia, and explained how he had just been angry and wasn't thinking about his words. He promised he'd never do it again, and asked if Remus could forgive him.

Remus knew he had no choice but to confirm that he did forgive him, but whether he actually did or not, Remus wasn't sure. It was too early to tell.

What he did notice, though, was Lyall being more lenient towards him, the way he'd been after Remus had first been bitten. He even took Remus someplace secluded where Remus could try out his new broomstick, which had been enjoyable overall, but the broom itself was now tainted with memories of "The Argument", so using it felt somewhat bittersweet. As for his parents, the two made an effort not to argue anymore, or at least not to argue around Remus, but this just meant ignored tension and fake laughter, pretending that everything was fine when they all knew full well that it wasn't. Remus didn't know which was worse, but one thing was for certain: he couldn't wait to return to school.

He missed New Year's Eve, since the last full moon of the holidays fell on the 31st, so he had to spend the following day and night recovering. This didn't give him a lot of time to prepare before they had to leave for King's Cross on the first of January. His mum did most of the packing while he slept, and they all piled into the car at an ungodly hour of the morning.

Remus didn't have a lot of time to say goodbye to his parents. Not only were they slightly late in the first place, but once he'd spotted his friends on the steam-filled platform of nine and three-quarters, he became much too distracted to stay put. His mother managed a fleeting kiss on his cheek, while his father pulled him into a slightly awkward hug, before Remus dragged his trunk up into the train and followed James and Sirius into an empty compartment.

Sirius was bouncing to talk about the notebook with Remus, and his descriptions of Alice in Wonderland's plot was almost drowned out by his own gratitude. He was thanking Remus in between discussions of the magical aspects in between explaining to James what he was on about in between asking what the difference between a writing desk and a raven actually was.

James on the other hand was equally excited to share about his trip to India, although he waited until Peter and Owain had caught up with them, before launching into stories of New Delhi and visiting the Lal Kila and the Qutub Minar.

"— which is this minaret, and it's hard to get to because it's so crowded and there are school children everywhere, see because there's a garden near it and they're all sitting there, but it's still amazing, because of all the giant pillars and there's a board behind each one telling you the significance of them—"

"Tell Remus about the Taj Mahal," interrupted Sirius, who had been corresponding with James for the entirety of the holidays, and so was already familiar with the stories, but eager to hear them again in person.

"Yeah, you know the Taj Mahal, right? Everyone knows it—" he didn't even wait for an answer. "It's got all these ponds around and all the bushes lining the path, so it's popular with muggle photographers, but I like all the drawings on the wall and the roof, they're all so beautiful and detailed..."

"It's sounds brilliant," said Remus, and the others nodded in agreement, asking questions here and there, which James was very happy to answer.

"When we grow up," James concluded. "I'm taking you all to India and I'm showing you everything."

Hogwarts looked just the same as ever, and there was something very comforting about this, at least for Remus, and probably for Sirius as well. It was a nice constant in the chaos of their lives.

They were led to their dormitories after the start of term feast by the Gryffindor prefect, Arthur Weasley; a nice enough guy. Helpful, if a little scatty. Remus didn't know anything about him except that it was rumoured that he and the Gryffindor head girl were dating. Remus couldn't remember her name. Part of the Prewett family he recalled, some distant cousin of Sirius.

Remus had to see Madam Pomfrey the next day, just as a routine check up, but he also had something he desperately needed to talk to her about. He wanted to see her after dinner, but he thought it would be too noticeable, so he decided on lunchtime tomorrow. For now, however, he focused on unpacking his trunk, and falling into bed half-dressed. He was fast asleep within minutes.

It didn't take long for everyone to resume normal school life. The first day's lessons were a little tricky to adjust to, after a few weeks of hardly working, but everyone soon caught up. Now that they'd been at Hogwarts for a while, it was becoming clear who was best at which subjects. James and Sirius appeared to have a natural flair for transfiguration and were soon top of the class. Peter and Owain were particularly keen on herbology which they spent hours talking about with each other, and Lily was quickly becoming the favourite student of Professor Slughorn, the potions master.

Remus was fairly good at transfiguration as well and he thoroughly enjoyed herbology— not so much potions, but at least he had Lily on hand to help him. He could safely say, however, that his best subject was Defence Against the Dark Arts, most likely because he'd had the advantage of having a father who specialised in dark magical creatures. Even so, he enjoyed writing essays on theories and different defence spells, and not many people at Hogwarts could say that they enjoyed writing essays.

At lunchtime, the day after they'd all returned, Remus excused himself from lunch to go to the hospital wing. Weirdly enough, it wasn't fully empty. One of the beds near Madam Pomfrey's office was occupied, although since the curtain around it had been drawn, Remus didn't see who the patient was.

He knocked lightly on Madam Pomfrey's door, and waited for her to allow him to enter; through the window, Remus could see her scribbling fiercely on a piece of parchment, eyebrows knitted together, so he hoped he wasn't disturbing her. But she signalled him in and smiled in a way that suggested otherwise.

"Mr Lupin! Welcome back, how are you?" Remus shut the door behind him.

"Um, not bad."

"Full moon was okay?" Remus nodded. He was fidgeting with his hands. Madam Pomfrey noticed, and put down the quill she was holding. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" she pressed. Remus sat down in the nearest chair, opposite her desk. He nodded again.

"Um, well... it's my chest. Just before the holidays ended I... noticed it wasn't as flat, and I didn't tell my parents." It was only two days after the fall out with his father that Remus had looked in the mirror and noticed that his chest had ever so slightly started to curve, which had immediately made his breath hitch in his throat. His first instinct was to call for his parents but he quickly stopped himself, suddenly realising that he didn't want his father to know. If he was insecure with Lyall before, he certainly was now, especially about his transition.

So he had kept it to himself, stayed in his room all day and just cried. It wasn't that his chest was noticeable, because it wasn't, not yet, and with a sports bra on, you couldn't even tell that it wasn't flat. It was simply the thought that... this was it. His chest was growing and he couldn't stop it. Even if he got the potion— and especially if he didn't get the potion— he would still have to bind; something he had desperately wanted to avoid.

"Well, darling, if you don't tell your parents, we can't discuss on how to move forward. I can suggest temporary solutions, but the potion is still out of the question if you don't talk to them."

"I know, I know..." Remus was going to tell his parents, of course he was. He wasn't going to let his father ruin his transition. He had simply wanted to wait until he was at Hogwarts, so he didn't have to talk to them face to face.

"Is it noticeable?" Madam Pomfrey asked. Remus shook his head.

"Not yet."

"Well if and when it does become noticeable, you can come to me and we'll figure something out, okay?"

"Okay."

"But for now I can only suggest talking to your parents."

"I will." He stood up again.

"Did you want to talk about anything else?"

"No, that's all. Thanks."

Remus decided to send a letter to his parents, reluctantly telling them about his chest, and once again asking them if he could take the potion yet. A day later, Professor McGonagall called him into her office and told him that his mother wanted to speak to him. Remus kneeled down by the fireplace where his mother's head was floating among the green flames, while McGonagall left the two in peace.

"Where's dad?" Remus asked.

"He's at work," she replied. "Why? Would you rather he be here?"

"No, no, it's alright." Remus was extremely relieved about only needing to talk to his mother. Besides, there was something slightly odd about her voice when mentioning Lyall, an oddness that Remus didn't really want to think about. Right now he had other things to focus on.

"Please can I start taking this bloody potion?" he asked, launching straight into the conversation. He was beginning to get infuriated from having to ask the same question over and over again. "If I take it now, I won't have to worry about my chest." He'd have to worry about it somewhat, of course. but his only task at the moment was to convince his mother.

"Listen, cariad, we really do want you to take the potion, but when we discussed it with Madam Pomfrey, she said she wasn't keen on you taking it until you were at least twelve."

"Why? She didn't tell me."

"She probably didn't want to give you any false hope, because at the end of the day, it's a powerful transfiguration potion, and it can be a strain on your body. The older you are the better." Remus didn't agree with that. The older he was, the harder it would be to transition in his opinion. How would that be any less of a strain on his body? But his mother was clearly set in her mind, and was in no mood to be persuaded otherwise.

"So can I take it in March then?" he bargained.

"We'll see." Remus sighed. 'We'll see'. As if he'd asked for a holiday, or a new pet. His parents could be so stubborn sometimes.

"And my chest?"

"Madam Pomfrey will be able to help you with that."

"Right." There was something about his mother that seemed... off. She seemed almost disengaged with the conversation, as if her mind was only half there, the other half somewhere else. "Can I go now? I'm meant to be meeting Lily." He wasn't actually; break was nearly over, and he'd be heading off to class, but the conversation with his mother was just making him annoyed. They hadn't achieved anything either, so he thought it best to just end it.

"Yes, of course. If you're sure that's all?"

"Yeah, that's all."

"Well, then I'll speak to you soon, love."

"Hm, you too." The flames died down and she was gone. It never registered in Remus's mind that it was Friday, and Lyall didn't work on a Friday.

Remus tried to enjoy his time at Hogwarts, and for the most part he did. He checked his chest in the bathroom mirror every morning, and once more in the evening before bed. He knew it was only a matter of time before his chest became noticeable, but until then he tried to put it to the back of his mind, and participate normally with his friends.

He had a lot of fun with James in particular. There were a number of Hindu festivals in January and James wanted to introduce his friends to as many as possible. On the fourteenth, for example, James spent the day explaining Lohri to them, a day to celebrate the end of winter and the coming of summer. You were apparently supposed to have a bonfire and throw popcorn, peanuts and revdiya onto it as an offering.

"What's revdiya?" Peter had asked, to which James explained that it was a basically a sweet with sesame seeds in it, and that his parents had sent him some especially.

"How are we supposed to have a bonfire though?" asked Sirius. "We're not allowed out after dark."

"No it's alright, I asked McGonagall. She gave us permission as long as she supervised. Apparently it's dangerous for children to be around fire on their own. Can't imagine why, though." He rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "But I can invite whoever I want, so you're all coming, and Evans!" Lily looked up from where she was sitting at the dining table. It was lunchtime. "You can come too!"

"What?"

"We're having a bonfire for Lohri," explained Remus.

"I'll tell you later," said James. "But are you coming or not?"

"I guess? Can Severus come too?" James hesitated.

"Does he have to? We're not exactly friends."

"Well maybe if you made an effort to talk to him." James looked unconvinced.

"Would he even want to come?" asked Owain. "Doesn't seem like the type of bloke who enjoys anything."

"He enjoys plenty of things," defended Lily. "I'll ask him." James sighed.

"Fine," he conceded. "It's not like he talks anyway," he added, once Lily had turned away. "We won't even notice he's there."

The bonfire itself was in the courtyard. McGonagall transfigured the fountain into a fire pit, and she herself lit the bonfire, not trusting James to do so without hurting himself. She allowed them to hunt for twigs, though, to put on the fire, so at least they could all join in.

Then James passed round the peanuts and the popcorn and the revdiya for them to throw onto the flames, although first—according to James— they had to circle the bonfire three times.

The heat from the flames was lovely, especially since it was so cold that night. After they had finished circling, Remus stood with James and Sirius, James explaining more about the celebration itself, how it was seen as a mark of the winter solstice passing. Peter, Owain and Lily soon joined them. Snape wasn't there. According to Lily he hadn't wanted to come, which did nothing to help James warm to him. Then again, Remus didn't think James would warm to him even if he had been there, so he doubted that Snape had any chance of winning either way.

"Are we allowed to eat the food, or is it just for the bonfire?" asked Owain.

"You can eat it," said James. "Try a revdi." Owain did so.

"It's nice," he confirmed. "Wasn't expecting it to be so crunchy." They all stood around together, watching the flames, taking in the warmth and sharing popcorn and revdiya with each other until well after midnight.

On the nineteenth, James told them that it was Ganesh Jayanti, which was a day to celebrate the birth of Lord Ganesh.

"Sounds like a big deal," said Sirius.

"Yeah, I guess. There's nothing much to do to celebrate it, unless we were actually in India. But we can still acknowledge it, I suppose." And so they did.

The 20th was Vasant Panchami which honoured the goddess Saraswati.

"She's the goddess of knowledge and music and arts... oh, and language," explained James. He said he wanted to spend the day studying, since this was something people could do to honour her.

"We can make music, or recite poetry but... does anyone here play an instrument?" Most of the group shook their heads in the negative.

"I can play piano," piped up Sirius. "But I don't think there's a piano here."

"We can just study, I guess." As much as Remus wanted to inform James that he sometimes wrote poems, he simply couldn't bring himself to tell anyone so, but he did write down a poem— someone else's poem— that he had memorised a while ago. It was a Welsh one, that he had spent ages translating, and he gave it to James. James in turn recited it in front of the common room, with more confidence than Remus could ever hope to have, and the students who were sitting around applauded him at the end. James bowed proudly.

Another thing they had to do, which James explained before they even had a chance to get out of bed, was to wear yellow, since it was considered to be the favourite colour of Saraswati.

James himself was wearing a yellow shirt instead of his usual white one, as well as a yellow necklace. He handed an extra one to Sirius who wasn't able to find anything yellow— an offering he enthusiastically accepted. Remus managed to find a yellow sweater, and Peter had socks.

"Is it alright if they have green dots on them?" He asked. James said they'd do, but he also handed Peter a yellow bracelet to wear, since he had one spare.

At dinner, James searched around the long table of food, before grinning at something he'd spotted, picking up a bowl near to where Peter was sitting and bringing it towards him. "Brilliant!" He voiced, partially to himself. "They've got saffron rice!" James spooned out the yellow rice onto his plate. He explained that food was important today. "People have feasts, and they put food in Saraswati's temple the day before so she can join in." The others took a spoonful of the saffron rice as well, since James had said that most people ate it that day.

"Besides, I should probably eat as much rice as I can, because I can't on Ekadeshi. That's on the 26th and it's dedicated to Lord Vishnu, and you can't eat most carbohydrates— although there are some that you can eat— but you can't eat rice. Definitely no rice. Just fruit, vegetables and milk products. You can also fast all day but I'm way too young for that."

"Can we join in?" asked Remus, taking a bite out of the saffron rice, which he instantly decided he preferred to plain rice. It actually had a flavour, for starters, a nice warm flavour that he couldn't quite explain.

"I mean, you can if you want." The others agreed that they wanted to, which James was rather excited about. It was a little tricky for Remus, since he usually couldn't go a day without eating any sort of meat; it made him tired and quite weak, but he didn't think a day would do any sort of damage, and he certainly didn't want to be the only one not joining in, so he did his best. He still ended up thoroughly enjoying the day, regardless. According to James, this year's Ekadeshi had also fallen on India's Republic Day.

"There's not much to do to celebrate here," he said. "But in Delhi there's this parade that lasts three days and there's all this music and these awards are given out. My grandparents will be there, so they'll probably tell me all about it."

As for the full moon, it was finally upon them, and Remus had to remind himself of the route he needed to take to get to the Shrieking Shack. He tried to scribble out the route on a piece of parchment, hiding it inside his pillow case, and he'd once found a good shortcut, which he'd drawn onto the paper too, writing notes on all the places where the moon wasn't visible. It helped keep his mind focused on the night, as trying to remember exactly where to go was tricky in the midst of a transformation.

Luckily, Remus managed to reach the Whomping Willow without any mishaps, and without being spotted. The moon poked out from behind the clouds, and Remus only just made it into the tunnel before his mind went blank, and his transformation began.

The full moon must have been a particularly rough one last night since Remus woke up in the hospital wing, having no recollection on how he ended up there. He was lying in bed on his front, and he could barely open his eyes.

"Hello." He squinted at the unfamiliar voice, unable to raise his head. His vision came into focus, and he saw a boy his age peeking behind the curtain at him.

He knew the boy. They shared the same year, and the same house. Tobin Hyslop. Muggleborn, and best friends with the other Gryffindor boy, Jethro Becker, the boy Remus had spoken to about poltergeists, months ago now. Tobin and Jethro stuck together in their own little duo, but that wasn't the only reason that Remus barely knew them. Tobin was actually more absent from school than Remus was, which Remus had never fully appreciated before, since he was so focused on his own absences. He'd never thought to ask why Tobin was hardly ever in lessons.

But now wasn't the time. Remus could only muster a very hoarse "hi" in return.

"You look terrible. I'll leave you to sleep." Tobin closed the curtain behind him, and Remus all but forgot about him as his eyes began to close shut and his breathing grew slow and deep.

He didn't wake up until the late evening but it was clear his friends had visited, once again indicated by the mound of confectionary on his bedside table. He opened his curtain slightly to see if Tobin was still there, and sure enough, he was. He was sitting up in bed, reading a book, and snacking on a chocolate frog.

"Hi," Tobin greeted again, spotting Remus. Remus finally had enough strength to sit up himself. "This isn't yours by the way," Tobin continued, indicating the chocolate frog. "Jethro brought me some."

"You're in here a lot," said Remus.

"So are you."

"Not as much as you. I never even see you." Tobin looked down at his lap, a little awkwardly.

"I get sick a lot," he explained. "It was worse in the muggle world. Here I just have to take a lot of potions and stuff, but I still have to rest here all the time."

"Oh... Sorry to hear that."

"What about you?" Tobin asked, changing the subject. "How come you're in here?"

"Oh, um... I get sick too, I guess."

"With what?"

"That's none of your business," Remus replied defensively. "I didn't ask what you have."

"Cystic Fibrosis," Tobin offered, matter-of-factly. "It means my lungs are a bit messed up. Got fluid in them. But the potions clear 'em up."

"Okay."

"So what do you have?" If Remus had been more astute, he probably would have been able to tell that Tobin's relentless questions were just him trying to find someone to relate to. But Remus was simply annoyed, especially by someone questioning him as to why he was in the hospital wing.

"I said it's none of your business!" Remus turned around and lay with his back towards Tobin.

Tobin didn't bother him again.

The next time Remus saw Tobin was at a Quidditch match a few days later. Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. James and Sirius were engrossed in the game, as was Remus, but when he spotted Tobin and Jethro weaving their way through the crowd, he waved them over.

Tobin sat down next to him, Jethro next to Tobin, and they all greeted each other, Remus nudging Sirius and James to get their attention. They managed a brief hello and the beginnings of a conversation before Gryffindor scored a goal and everyone was at once distracted.

After the match, which had lasted a good two hours, the Gryffindors were trudging back to the castle after a sudden and very disappointing defeat from the Ravenclaw seeker catching the snitch. Remus ran on ahead from his friends and caught up to Tobin.

"Hey," he said, jogging up beside the boy. "So, I'm sorry about the other day, in the hospital wing. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Oh, that's alright. I didn't mean to be so nosy." James ran up to them.

"Oi, new plan," he greeted, putting an arm around Remus's shoulder. "We need cheering up, so Sirius and I are having a midnight feast in our dorm room. That means you're all coming."

"Sounds fun," said Tobin. Remus nodded in agreement.

"With what food?" asked Jethro, who was standing near enough to hear the conversation.

"Don't you worry about that, I've got it covered." James winked, and Remus didn't know whether he should have been worried or not, a feeling that was starting to become familiar when it came to James.