Irrationality at the face of facts had always annoyed me, to a degree that many wouldn't consider healthy.
But keeping all emotions back to avoid them hampering my rational thought had been a must. If one employee died for being at the wrong time, cracking down on the rules should help, keeping watch of the work time at every moment.
Doing the wrong work with an Abnormality? Drill the necessities and make the consequences known, even if they don't like it. They will have a better chance at survival.
This was a fact in the facility, work with the parameters given to you and hope for the best. But that wasn't enough, so I'll be as strict as I have to be... to get things done.
It is the only way.
...
WAS the only way.
Trigger, a name that I equally despised and respected for his actions and a man of conviction... a complete fool with a heart of gold and a general migraine to deal with.
Someone that threw rationality and procedures through the metaphorical window if he felt like they were wrong, the kind of man that went the extra mile to simply help any way he could.
Cooking for the other employees, advising those that seemed lost, going against the same rules I tried to use simply because he hated their roles and while I understood that... how can he keep doing this?
What kind of rational line of thought did he go through to reach these conclusions? Or was he simply insane? ...Maybe he is, only a madman would help Abnormalities as if they were people.
"Right after the scuffle with the Knight, her whole demeanor had changed, you are the one that pointed that change to begin with. It is small but noticeable, unless you want to call it a one in a million chance which I doubt you will, it happened."
The grinding of metal made me stop, making me sigh...
My metal fingers scratched at my metallic body, just the thought of me sighing was bothersome to a stupid extreme. Who would make a machine with these human reactions? Why do I scratch my fingers along my body when stressed? Why do we need these feelings?
The owner of L Corp must be a heartless monster to make us put up with this nonsense, I heard what happened to Malkuth... meaning these are just functions.
But are these visions necessary? Sometimes I stop and close my eye and I see things from the past, a purple haired man strapped to a table, a small brown haired girl dragging herself across the floor as her body rots, an employee happily playing a game and suddenly dying by one small error.
"What is a man with a dam on his heart?"
Of course that troublesome employee will find a way to pester me, even in my thoughts... what kind of person can take so much without building a wall around their heart? How does he put up with all of these unfiltered emotions?
By my observations, Trigger is a highly emotional person, yet he works quite well and his levels of mental corruption are always stable. The only time he took a hit was his first meeting with the Knight of Despair, a being that seemingly mocked Trigger's stance on life.
Yet... he pushed on, he seemed dead inside but managed to soldier on and look at what had happened. Both with his emotions and mind intact, he could even be in better shape than before.
I couldn't understand why he would do this to himself, why he would encourage others to do the same.
"Yesod." At the peripherals of my vision, I could see Malkuth standing there, looking at me with a small amount of concern and something else I couldn't quite understand.
Damn it... I didn't want anyone seeing me rotting, "Malkuth, I believe you were talking with Rober about strategies?" An obvious lie that was fabricated at the moment to avoid the confrontation between Trigger and I.
Malkuth's stare became flat, "Come now, we both know that was a lie, don't try to hide what I saw." Of course, she would notice. Maybe if she was her usual self it would have worked, if only because she wouldn't have cared.
But whatever happened in the Manager's room changed her... for the better, "There is nothing for me to say. I was simply mulling over my talk with Trigger, that is all." My response was meant to end any attempt at a conversation.
"Yesod... come on, you tried your best at the time. You did all you could and then some, but just trying to hide it all away won't do you any good." Malkuth spoke to me as if we were old friends, something that bothe-
Instead of my fellow Sephirah, for a second... I saw that little girl that at some point was dying a horrible death on the floor.
Malkuth patted my back once, snapping me back to reality, "Simply bottling it all up will make you burst, I would know... Trigger may seem like he just wants to give you the contrary, but he simply cares too much. He must have said something similar to you." I glanced at her once and begun to walk away.
"It's easy for you two to say, he can do all these seemingly crazy feats, and you aren't working directly with Abnormalities. It isn't that simple, it never is." I kept moving, taking note that Malkuth had made no attempt to stop me.
There must be something that I'm missing, dealing with... all of this can't be as simple as spilling everything out.
The Corporation that made this situation, the CEO that started it, and the Manager that perpetuates it... maybe taking a more direct approach will be needed.
The employee's deaths can be avoided, the Sephirah have no need for these... feelings. Angela should have been more than enough to do it all by herself.
What was the point of this whole facility? Where is our energy even going?
My body stopped moving, and I lurched, as if I was about to vomit. A black liquid left from the small gaps of my body...
...
A drowned man... perhaps I was always one.