Madam Pomfrey was right; it took a while for Remus to notice any effects from the potion, or at least he did notice a few, but none of them seemed to be pertaining to anything he actually wanted. He had to take more showers because he was sweating through his clothes, and spots kept breaking out all over his face and arms. He had to keep telling himself that these were all signs of testosterone running through his body instead of oestrogen, that this was all good, but frankly, he was just feeling uncomfortable.

James's birthday took his mind off it, on the twenty seventh of March.

Since it was still term time, none of the boys in the dorm were able to buy James any gifts, but they tried their best. Owain and the others opted for a hand drawn card, signed by all of them, which Peter drew himself— they were surprised to find out that Peter was actually quite adept at art. Everyone that is, except Remus. The two sat quite close together in lessons, and Remus was always catching sight of Peter doodling cartoons on his books, or his arms, or even the desk he was sat at, and at a closer look, the cartoons were actually very good, with surprisingly intricate details.

Even so, despite the card, Peter still wanted to help Remus and Sirius with their gift, when he ran into them in the library. The two of them were trying to be as quiet as possible, although they'd already been told off twice for giggling too loud. It was Sirius's fault. He kept getting distracted and doing exaggerated impressions of the librarian.

"What are you doing?" asked Peter, leaning over their table to get a good look.

"We found a Remembrall in the bushes outside," explained Sirius. "We're trying to transfigure it into a snitch."

"Not a real snitch," continued Remus. "We're not good enough for that, but we want it to at least fly around. Maybe give it some wings."

"Can I help?" Sirius thought about it, and then lit up with an idea.

"You can paint it! Make it all detailed." Peter seemed happy with that idea, and he went to fetch his paints from upstairs. Regardless, though, they needed all the help they could get with transfiguring the Remembrall, so Peter sat down across from them and they all spent the rest of lunch break trying to achieve their goal.

By the end of lunch, they'd successfully managed to get it to fly at least, and luckily keep it only a few metres above the ground so it didn't fly off into the stratosphere. Remus had managed that; he was very much improving in his charms lessons, and was almost top of the class. With the help of an advanced curriculum book, a simple Wingardium Leviosa did the trick. The only trouble was—

"How do we get it to stop flying?" said Peter. The answer was quite a bit beyond their capabilities, and they sat there scratching their heads until the bell rang.

"Shit," muttered Remus. "We don't have time to give it wings now." They began to pack up their books.

"It doesn't need wings," Sirius decided. "But if it doesn't stop flying, how's Peter supposed to paint it?"

"How are we supposed to wrap it?" replied Remus.

"We can put it in a cage. A small one, and wrap that up instead," suggested Peter. Sirius held the remembrall tightly in his hand to keep it from escaping.

"Yeah, yeah good idea," said Sirius. "Owain's sister's got a pet mouse, she'll have a cage small enough."

"I'll ask Owain to ask her," Peter added. "And I can paint it fine, I'll just hold it. Might get a bit messy though..."

Owain's sister, Anwen, luckily had a cage to spare, and happily gave it to them. It was rectangular and small, perfect for the modified Remembrall, which they trapped inside after Peter had finished painting it. Peter had done a good job; the details made it look almost real and the only giveaway was the slight traces of fingerprints where Peter had held it. He'd returned with gold paint all over his hands.

"Do you think James'll like it?" asked Remus, pressing his nose up against the bars of the cage, following the Remembrall with his eyes.

"Of course he will," replied Sirius. "I've seen him playing with a stick for an hour. A stick! He already has a stick and it can do magic! Believe me, this'll keep him entertained for ages."

Sirius was right, James loved the "snitch". He kept it by his side like a pet, catching it every so often when it reached the most impressive of heights— always when he was surrounded by onlookers. During the night, it sat on his bedside table, circling silently around its mouse cage.

He named it Bowman.

The full moon was only a few days later, and at least Remus didn't have to worry about his binder this time. The shrinking spell on his chest was so far working well, and it was nice, seeing it flat again without it being covered. The only annoying thing was needing to see Madam Pomfrey every month to get it re-shrunk, but at least with the potion he could kill two birds with one stone and get his potion refilled at the same time.

He wondered if the potion would have any effect on his wolf form. As a precaution, he tried to stay in an area of the Shrieking Shack that was hard to escape from; the top floor, in case the potion made him more aggressive and led to his escape. He asked Madam Pomfrey about it and she said she simply didn't know, but told him to lock the doors of the Shack— if he was able to— before transforming.

Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to, because the room on the top floor was quite open, having the largest window in the house. The full moon shone right in, leaving streaks of light all over the floor. Remus didn't even have time to shut the door behind him before his body began to change and his wolf mind began to kick in.

When he woke up the following day, he had no idea where he was. He certainly wasn't in the Shrieking Shack. For starters, he was clearly outside. He felt the soft ground underneath his hands, soil and leaves crunching as he moved, and he could hear all sorts of noises. The early morning birds were making a right racket with their chorus. Remus's ears were sensitive around the full moon, so the birds sounded as if they were screaming; the wind was howling, bushes were rustling here and there. What was that? What was that? What was that?

Remus's head was spinning. He rolled over onto his back to get a better look at his surroundings, groaning as he did so. His eyes met the tree tops, a blanket covering the floor, blocking out the weak sunlight.

He must have been in the Forbidden Forest, which couldn't have been good. It was— after all— forbidden for a reason.

He picked himself up, checking himself over for any major injuries. There didn't seem to be any, nothing more than a few cuts and bruises. He tried to find his bearings, but he'd never been in the forest before, and judging by how dark it was, he'd ended up quite far in.

Oh, Godric, what if he was lost? He searched around for any sign of light where the entrance to the forest may be, but the light just stayed the same everywhere he looked: dark and scary. He was beginning to panic now. What if he was lost forever? Could he survive out here on his own? He supposed he had an advantage, being a werewolf and all, but that didn't mean he wanted to. He wanted to go back to Hogwarts and see his friends. And what if he never saw his parents again?

Perhaps he was being overdramatic. Someone would notice he was missing, if they hadn't already. Someone would eventually find him... right? Suddenly, though, Remus thought he saw an opening and began running towards a gap in the foliage, completely unaware of his surroundings until wham!

He ran smack bang into something very large indeed, making Remus fall to the floor, all the wind knocked out of him.

"Bloody 'ell," said a gruff voice from above. Remus blinked, and took in the giant figure in front of him. The scraggly beard was unmistakeable. It was Hagrid.

"Hello," greeted Remus, vaguely shell-shocked. He was relieved to find someone who could take him back to Hogwarts, but he also didn't dare ask how much trouble he was in.

"What on earth are you doing 'ere?" asked Hagrid, holding out a very large hand for Remus to take, almost picking him right up off the floor. "An' what the hell happened to you?" Remus stared down at himself, at how bedraggled and bruised he looked.

"I uh... got into a fight?" was all Remus could think to say, knowing how weak of an excuse it was, since it didn't explain why he was here.

"But what are you doin' in the forest? It's five in the mornin', you should be in bed!" Remus didn't know how to reply. He was out of excuses. Clearly, Hagrid wasn't aware of Remus's lycanthropy.

"C'mon. I'll have to take you to Professor McGonagall." Hagrid led Remus out of the forest, but surprisingly, Remus no longer felt as nervous; Despite he sternness, McGonagall knew about his lycanthropy. She would understand. Unfortunately, now that the adrenaline of being briefly lost was starting to dissipate, the familiar post-full moon exhaustion was beginning to set in. Hagrid couldn't help but notice Remus's slowing pace, stumbling over his own feet, eyes starting to drop.

"You alrigh' there?" asked Hagrid, looking at him from out of the corners of his eyes.

"Hm?"

"Yer not ill are ya?" Remus was about to reply with a typical response of "I'm fine," but he realised that seeing Madam Pomfrey would be more desirable than McGonagall, since he'd hopefully be able to sleep first and talk later.

"Yeah, I think I might be," he mumbled.

"Alrigh', I'll take you to Madam Pomfrey firs' then." To Remus's relief, they ended up bumping into Madam Pomfrey on the way there, near to where the Whomping Willow stood. She looked slightly frantic, and Remus didn't have to guess twice to work out why.

"Mr Lupin!" she exclaimed when she saw him.

"Saw this lad wanderin' about the forest," explained Hagrid. "Was gonna take him to Professor McGonagall, but he's looking 'alf dead at the moment. Thought I should bring 'im to you."

"That's fine," replied Madam Pomfrey. "I'll take him off your hands." She thanked him, and led Remus back to the hospital wing, with Remus desperately trying to keep his eyes open.

He was allowed to sleep first, and he certainly slept for a while: it was dark again by the time he woke up, and quiet. He opened the curtains beside his bed to get a good view of the clock above Madam Pomfrey's office, but he was momentarily distracted by the figure sleeping beside him. Tobin was there again. Remus looked back at the clock. Nine pm. The school was asleep.

Remus got out of bed for a few moments, standing next to his bedside table, he stretched his arms and back, relieving any stiffness; but he accidentally woke Tobin up in the process.

"Hi," Tobin murmured, his voice rough from sleep.

"Hello." Remus sat back down on his bed, facing Tobin. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few hours." Tobin moved himself into a sitting position. "What about you?"

"Since this morning."

"You're always here every month. Jethro thinks it's weird." Remus frowned at the boy's words.

"Why?" he asked, suddenly very aware of his breathing.

"Well, I know you're here a lot, but you're also here at the end of the month, dead on. And..." Tobin laughed lightly, nervously even. Remus was starting to feel a sense of dread building up in his chest.

"What?"

"I noticed that... you're always here after a full moon." Oh God, oh Merlin, oh please no.

"Really?" Remus croaked. "I... hadn't even noticed."

"I only noticed accidentally, haven't been stalking you or anything. I suppose it's a coincidence, it's not like you're a werewolf or anything." He chuckled, and Remus copied him, but inside he was almost screaming. He had to remind himself to breathe. This wasn't good at all. Tobin thought it was a joke at the moment, but the point was, he had noticed...

It was only a matter of time before it no longer became a joke.

Remus tried to put it out of mind as something that he'd have to sort out later. In the meantime, Madam Pomfrey decided to take him to see Dumbledore, a meeting that immediately set Remus on edge. He still couldn't help but find the headmaster intimidating, for reasons that continued to elude him. It wasn't as if Dumbledore had so far given him a reason to be wary; he was perfectly pleasant and his smile made his eyes crinkle at the sides. But whenever Remus was around him, even if he was just passing him in the corridor, he couldn't help but get the feeling that he was constantly being watched.

This feeling creeped back as usual as he stood in Dumbledore's office, with Madam Pomfrey explaining how it may be time for Remus to transform in the forest instead of the Shack. She said she didn't know whether it was the morfosis potion that was making Remus's wolf form more aggressive, or if Remus was simply growing up, but his wolf form was potentially getting more restless as a result.

"Surely that's more reason to keep him contained?" suggested Dumbledore, a statement that began to nag at Remus as the meeting went on, as Madam Pomfrey explained that not only was it dangerous for Remus to be contained somewhere so close to the Hogwarts grounds now that he was growing more confident, but that it wasn't fair.

"He should be able to run freely in the forest rather than stay caged up in a house." And it was this that made Remus finally realise what was bothering him about Dumbledore.

Dumbledore talked about his wolf form as if it was separate from Remus. In his mind, Remus was Remus, and the wolf form was an emotionless monster. One to be contained, whether it made him miserable or not. Remus thought back to their first meeting, in Wales. Dumbledore had said that outside of the full moon, Remus was a completely normal human being, and could therefore attend Hogwarts as long as they sorted out the problem of his lycanthropy.

But that wasn't true. There was nothing normal about Remus at all, even when he was in his human form. What about his heightened senses, or his nausea whenever he was anywhere near silver, or the way that he was destined for a life of ostracism? The Wizarding World didn't pick and choose when to treat him badly depending on the cycle of the moon. To the rest of the world, Remus wasn't a human being. He was a werewolf. He was always a werewolf. His human self and his wolf self couldn't be separated, with one treated normal and the other treated like a monster.

Remus didn't hate his wolf form; he was realising that more and more as he got older. It was an inconvenience, a hassle, and at times— especially when he was younger— there were parts of him that did hate it. And he knew he was hated by the Wizarding World, which gave him no discernible confidence in himself, but he didn't hate himself. Why should he? By separating the two, however, Dumbledore seemingly gave him the option to like his human form and dislike his wolf form, with no consequence to his human form at all, and that just didn't feel right to Remus.

Of course, Dumbledore may have just misspoken, and Remus didn't deny that his wolf form was dangerous, so obviously Dumbledore wanted to prioritise the safety of the school. But he didn't even look at Remus when he said that he should be contained, as if Remus wasn't even in the room with them, or part of the discussion at all.

Madam Pomfrey hadn't done that. She saw Remus's wolf form as part of him, and so was concerned at the unfairness of keeping him locked up. Remus was grateful for that because at the end of the day, he was relatively protective over his wolf form. He barely remembered what happened during the full moon, but that didn't mean his wolf from should constantly be contained against its will. Whether Remus would remember being distressed or not, the point was, he still would be. It wasn't fair.

Remus was so deep in thought, he barely noticed when the meeting ended, which in turn made him wonder why he was even there in the first place, since all he'd managed to contribute to the conversation was a simple greeting. He supposed it saved Madam Pomfrey from telling him what the outcome had been, though, which was that he had now been permitted to transform in the forest, and Hagrid was going to be informed of the situation so he could be there before and after the full moon to ensure that Remus didn't get lost.

"Professor Dumbledore was rather reluctant to inform Hagrid since he tends to run his mouth without meaning to, but he's very trustworthy, so I wouldn't worry. He'd never put a student in danger." Remus hadn't interacted much with Hagrid, but from what he had experienced, Remus could believe what Madam Pomfrey was saying. Hagrid did seem to have an air about him that one almost immediately trusted, ironic since their last interaction had been Hagrid telling on him to Madam Pomfrey. But then again, he hadn't known what was happening. He had just been trying to help.

April came and went. Near the end of the month, Remus was finally beginning to notice a change in his voice. It wasn't exactly deeper yet, but it did sound like his voice was on the verge of dropping. It cracked a lot, which James and Sirius found funny, but Remus didn't mind so much, since it meant that the potion was doing more than just giving him the visage of a pizza, earning him the nickname "spotty" among some of the boys in his year. Uncreative, but hurtful enough to prompt Remus into asking Lily for help. She, in turn, asked her friend Marlene— who had a similar problem with acne— for any cream that might help. Marlene let him borrow some, and it managed to make his face look a little less red at least.

On the evening of the full moon, he was instructed to go to Hagrid's hut and meet him there, so before the sun started to set, he knocked on the wooden door of the one-roomed house and waited for a reply. The door opened, and Hagrid towered above him, beaming over his head.

"Ah, Remus, good to see yer," he greeted. "I've got me crossbow in case we run into any trouble, but I wouldn't worry. I'll be takin' you to a quiet part o' the forest." Hagrid was already leading him towards the wall of trees in front of them, chatting amiably the entire time. It was an odd feeling. Remus hadn't seen Hagrid since last month, and he had been expecting a slight change in attitude after Hagrid was told about Remus's lycanthropy. Instead, if it wasn't for Hagrid leading him into the forest to transform, Remus wouldn't even be able to tell that Hagrid knew. It was nice, being treated normally for once. He decided then that he absolutely trusted the man.

The part of the forest they eventually arrived in was indeed quiet— eerily quiet— but thankfully there was no need for Hagrid to use his crossbow.

"Nothing'll mess with you once you transform," he assured. "An' there's a small lake near here, easy to find unless you go miles out, but I'll be there tomorrow. If you're not there I'll come looking for yer. Either way, yer not gonna get lost; I'll make sure o' that."

"Thank you," replied Remus. He could already spot the lake up ahead, the only place where the moonlight was shining down through the treetops, reflecting off the still water. The sight of it was making him tetchy.

"You alrigh' to be left here?" asked Hagrid. Remus nodded, wanting him to leave. His hands were clenching and unclenching, his fingernails digging into his palms. "Once you get used to the forest and its layout, I won' need to protect you as much. You'll be able to come out here by yerself. Although, I'll still be keepin' an eye out, don' you worry."

"Uh huh... can I, um...?" He wasn't exactly sure how to ask Hagrid to let him transform now without sounding rude, but Hagrid finally got the hint.

"Righ', sorry. Off you go, lad. I'll see you tomorrow." He patted Remus on the back, almost dislocating Remus's shoulder, and began to leave with his crossbow raised. Remus, on the other hand, walked off in the opposite direction towards the lake, the moonlight growing nearer, and stronger. Remus felt his back begin to arch, and his feet start to grow out of his shoes.

He reached the water, sniffed at it, and raised his head back to howl at the moon.

When he woke up the next day, the first thing Remus noticed before opening his eyes was that his leg was very wet. In fact, he was pretty sure it was submerged in water. He opened his eyes, and raised himself up off the ground.

Yup, he was by the forest's lake, and somehow his leg had fallen in. It was actually quite refreshing. He picked himself up, and brushed himself down, checking himself over for any significant injuries. He always had about a five minute window the following day after transforming, where he was in an almost shell-shocked state, despite not being at all shocked, but it meant that any injuries he did obtain didn't immediately hurt, giving him the ability to stand up and examine them.

In this case, he was lucky he could stand up at all, because the leg that had been submerged in water was badly cut, and was starting to bleed profusely, which explained the slight red twinge to the surrounding, murky water. Remus cringed at the idea of the cut being infected by what looked like rather a lot of scum and no doubt thousands of disease-ridden microbes. It made his skin shiver, and the sooner he got himself to the infirmary, the better.

He limped over to a large flat rock a few metres away, before the pain started to set in. On the rock were some pyjamas he'd brought with him last night; he usually brought pyjamas with him on the full moon, and put them somewhere he'd be able to find the next day. Pyjamas were easier to slip into than a school uniform. Though, of course, last full moon hadn't worked out like that, but by some complete miracle— while his clothes had been ripped to shreds (he hardly ever had time to take them off before transforming), they had still managed to cling onto his body— his trousers more so than his shirt— and provided some semblance of covering. Although to Hagrid, it certainly would have looked like Remus had been brutally attacked.

He gingerly pulled himself into his pyjama bottoms, wincing as the material stuck onto the cut on his leg. He lifted the pyjama leg up past his knee, exposing the injury, and used his shirt as a bandage. Just as he finished tying it up, he heard the bushes to his right begin to rustle. The entrance of the forest was in that direction, so he hoped it was just Hagrid, but he still kept his eyes fixed on the foliage, not making a sound until he heard Hagrid's gruff voice calling his name.

"Over here!" he called back. The bushes grew ever more restless, until finally parting as Hagrid stepped through them. He noticed Remus's bandaged leg almost immediately.

"How did you get that?" he asked, examining it without untying the shirt. Remus shrugged. "Hope it weren't a fight or anythin'. Can you walk on it?"

"I think so." Now that the bleeding was temporarily cauterised, Remus felt confident enough to limp back to the castle, Hagrid on hand to help him; Remus was sure that if he couldn't walk, Hagrid would have no problems picking him up and depositing him in the hospital wing. Not that he particularly favoured that option. Being picked up like a child would be rather embarrassing to say the least, but it seemed like it was an almost certain occurrence, as he could feel his body start to shut down as usual, the blood loss not exactly helping.

Fortunately, he managed to reach the Whomping Willow intact, the meeting place where Madam Pomfrey took over. When she saw his leg, she immediately began fussing over it, and Remus was swept up in her clucking, barely having time to say goodbye to Hagrid.

Madam Pomfrey had to clean the wound before closing it up with magic, quite a painful experience that exhausted Remus even more. By the time she had bandaged it up properly, he was fast asleep.

It was dark when he woke up again, the ticking of the clock filtering into his psyche. He was still lying on his back, so when he rubbed his eyes open, he had a full view in front of him. And the view was blocked by a boy.

It was Tobin, in his normal pyjamas, not the ones from the hospital wing, which meant that he'd come straight from the dorm room. He was staring at Remus with an odd look on his face, scared almost, and Remus didn't even have a chance to say hi before he spoke.

"You are a werewolf, aren't you?" he said.