POV: Trigger
I stared at the ceiling of my room with a blank expression, sitting on the floor and leaning against a wall.
Simply waiting there… thinking of my talk with Beth yesterday. I could tell that what she said was true, but even now... I didn't want to think my problem was that simple.
That I just had to accept this is how things are, and the problem was my view on it.
Getting up, I left my room, deciding to just wander the hallways with no real purpose but to waste time. Safety has been a bit of a pain, compared to any other department I was on.
But at least it's color theme is relaxing.
Glancing at the cafeteria, I noticed by just walking past it the distinct lack of the emotions of the Original Team. Rober, Gonzales, Beth, Dakota, BongBong and Amelia… weren't there. It was weird since they always ate together.
Shaking my head and moving past that, I was on my way down towards Safety for no apparent reason other than to walk. I could feel Netzach there, feeling his general lack of 'care' for anything was a bit easy to notice.
Because it also felt like he cared a lot more than he let on.
Weirdly enough, he was alone… usually Tiffany was getting all high with him. Zele couldn't fit that role anymore for… obvious reasons.
Reaching the Main Room, I stared at Netzach's form that I could instantly tell was sober, to my great surprise, "You seem… weirdly sober." I commented. He didn't react that much to my words, but he did glance at me once.
"And you… look weirdly miserable." He commented back, which I responded with a small shrug.
…
I walked next to him, and decided to start an actual conversation with him, "So what's the occasion? I thought you reached the clouds to not see how bad everything else was." Netzach chuckled.
"Doesn't do a lot of good. It's kinda like watching Corporation propaganda, all pretty words and lies that really don't try to hide how much they are lying to you." I quirked a brow at what's basically an admission that doing drugs wasn't helping him, even ignore his situation.
Scratching the back of my head a couple of times, I looked at the giant flower in a giant cup, "Guess even when we know how little it helps, we still stick with it anyway." Because even when I wanted to fit in...
I just couldn't change myself, and if what Beth said was true… I never had to. So why does it feel so hard to accept?
"I think that's called an abusive relationship." He said depressingly.
Giving him a blank stare, I couldn't help but comment on that, "Does it look like I enjoy pain?"
"No, but neither do I. Lo and behold, here I am." He blandly said.
…
We both chuckled specifically once, before we returned to a more neutral state.
"I still think you are a coward."
"There goes our nice little moment."
We both said that with so little energy, anyone watching would think it was a gag taking place. In reality, it was just two guys with not enough energy to give a shit.
I didn't respect Netzach at all, but with a bit more context in my issue… I saw a bit of it on him too, which made me realize...
It's so easy to just give up.
To roll with the punches instead of taking them.
Netzach pulled out a small bottle full of green liquid from… a compartment under his eye, Enkephalin, and he offered it to me, "You are going to say no, but may as well ask." Huffing at this, I simply responded with a shake of my head.
I was walking away before deciding on asking one question, "Does that even do anything for you anymore?" Seeing him just dump the whole thing through his eye socket was quite… interesting.
He simply threw the bottle away lazily, "Not anymore…" He mumbled tiredly, before losing himself in his thoughts.
Yeah, I could tell that he was very much… lucid even after that. Guess he built some kind of resistance after putting so much Enkephalin in his brain.
Sighing at his antics, I left the Main Room, deciding to move back to the dorms and call it a day… until we are all called for work. Almost forgot about that.
That's when I passed by the bathrooms of Safety. Yes, each department had one of those, no surprises there. What held me from leaving was… this weird emotion that came from the women's bathroom.
A weird resignation, there was only one person inside. I found it a little odd, and I would have dismissed this as only someone having a… bad time with the toilet. Yet the feeling grew so deep it was like staring at a bottomless pit.
I approached to knock a couple of times. I got no response, but the feeling had a sudden spike of pure… fear. It was so bright that I recognized it, even if it was snuffed almost instantly by the resignation... fear for your life.
Trying to open the door, I found it to be locked. I glanced at Gold Rush in my right hand and punched the door, sending it flying. Looking side to side, I saw Tiffany of all people hanging from a rope on her neck, tears in her eyes and almost lifeless.
The butterflies moved like a blur and reached all around her body, pulling her up, so that the rope would stop chocking her. Solemn Penitence was handed to me and I shot the rope once, cutting it while the butterflies gently put Tiffany on the floor.
Bathrooms are one of the few places without cameras… I looked down at her in confusion. She was unconscious, I glanced down at the left to see a trashcan on the floor, she must have used it to try and hang herself.
Sighing at this, I walked to one of the three sinks in the bathroom and poured some water in my left hand, before walking back towards the prone Tiffany and dropping it on her face. She flinched and slowly opened her eyes, while flinching when she tried to move her neck.
Slowly it seemed like she was starting to get her bearings before her eyes settled neutrally on me, "Why...?" She sounded desperate, I guess she needs to be completely high to truly keep going. The smoking pipe probably didn't help with that, since it didn't do that.
"Should I just let you die?" I asked sarcastically, she got up all in my face and grabbed my collar. I could tell just pushing her back would send Tiffany toppling, but I saw no reason to do that.
She tried to shake me, but she was too busy keeping herself on two feet, "You… fucking…bastard…" Sounding tired and weak, she simply slumped and frowned at me.
"I just wanted out! If I asked the Manager, I'd die anyway… so may as well go out on my terms, but you just had to come here like the 'hero' you are… what makes you so sure I just won't try again!?" Suddenly she shouted, some saliva landed on my face.
I looked down, she is wearing her WAW suit, and then glanced up to the rope before huffing. She could have definitely ended this before I found her, "Why wear the E.G.O then? Its protection would have made it harder for your neck to give in, why not jump from the sinks instead of the trashcan? If you weren't wearing E.G.O, that should have been enough for your weight to snap your neck." She opened her mouth and found that she couldn't say anything.
I calmly broke her weak hold on my collar, "The truth is… you didn't want to die. Simply as that." Even if I'm still confused by my situation, I had yet to truly give up.
Tiffany didn't want to die, it was that simple.
She looked at me like I was stupid, "Then why did I do all of that!?" She demanded like I would have the answer.
I shrugged, "This is just you basically screaming out 'help me', I could be wrong." My words stopped her, and she crumbled on the floor, simply laughing pathetically.
"Ha…hahaha…HAHAHAHA! God, that's hilarious! Was I really just doing that!? How pathetic can one get!?" She wasn't even talking to me anymore, but to herself.
Humming at her words, I thought back to my own issues. Yes… it's pretty pathetic, "Yeah… hehehe… I can kinda agree. Fighting murderous monstrosities, but a bit of trauma just gets the better of anyone!" I was chuckling while Tiffany was laughing, it was quite funny.
Just discovering how frail everything is.
We progressively stopped. Feeling a bit lighter, I glanced down at Tiffany and offered my left hand, which she took, "Guess I'm not the only one with issues?" She asked with tired and puffy eyes.
I gave her a brief nod, "It's morbidly reassuring everyone suffers equally, even if they experience it differently." Feeling like this shouldn't be going this… smoothly, not that I can complain.
She nodded a couple of times, before glancing away nervously, "I… uh… don't tell Jeremy? He is a bit annoying at times, but he is a good guy, and he genuinely thought I was getting better. I wouldn't want to… well disappoint him." I felt… weird listening to it.
"Can't say I see anything wrong with that." I replied and was about to leave the women's bathroom, when I felt Tiffany's hand land on my shoulder.
"Thanks." I glanced at her once, before nodding and leaving, to finally make my way out of here, moving back towards my room until work starts.
Even if I was wondering where the Original Team was… I think I managed to feel Bethany at some point, in the repurposed Training Room.
I didn't bother to go and check, I was still too unsure on what to do, but something was clear, I had to pick a course of action and I had to do it fast.