POV: Trigger

From having a conversation with Binah, which went rather well… she didn't seem like the type of person that could miss things. But from what I was able to tell in her murky emotions, she does have someone like that, even if she doesn't know who that is.

Oh yeah, now I'm busy seeing everyone on the table devouring their burritos. Using beans and chopped steak for the inside along with a bit of coriander, the big tortilla was neatly done and folded so that nothing went out and had melted cheese on top with peperoni on it.

It wasn't anything to write home about… or so I thought, "Dakota, fucking chew..." I drawled, seeing that she was basically stuffing the whole damn thing inside her mouth. I made those burritos BIG, and she was here stuffing it in her mouth like she never ate anything like that.

Amelia glared at me, "Easy for you to say! When you live in the Backstreets, food that is actually good is so rare and costly that we never cared about it, but you can make shit like this from cheap stuff! You must have lived like a king!" And then she went back to devouring her food.

At least BongBong and Rober are eating with a spoon. I made them too big to be eaten like a taco… I glanced at Gonzales, who just put the whole thing inside his mouth and… slid it in. Just like that, the burrito was gone.

What the fuck?

Beth chuckled next to me, using a spoon to eat her own burrito, "Everyone is really lively." Ain't that the truth…

After telling Angela and Malkuth about my new findings on E.G.O and how compatibility affected its 'true' use, they decided to review the information and stories of the Abnormalities in the facility and search for the one's that would fit our team. Not only that, but Angela mentioned talking with a Sephirah named Hod. What I heard of her are… well, not good things from the clerks.

But I also have to accelerate the training then. After today is done, Amelia is going to get her turn into training with me and then Gonzales. After that, I should try having those sessions with everyone at the same time.

Beth poked my shoulder and I threw her a glance, "How about a song?" Umm… that came out of nowhere.

Gonzales slammed his fist on the table like it was a hammer, "TO CELEBRATE OUR REUNION!" I only distanced myself from you guys like… two days.

"Exaggerated as that reaction may have been, I wouldn't mind seeing you sing." Rober commented, and I hummed. I throw a small glance around the cafeteria before realizing that I just didn't really care if I was being watched.

Eh, may as well do something, "Any preferences?" I asked while my butterflies pulled out the guitar Rober gifted me.

Beth smiled, "I don't care. Just try not to go too emotional with what you sing." It was just one song for fu- oh, whatever.

Yeah… I think this one should work out. I held the guitar loosely and took a deep breath, let's do this then.

I smiled and looked around the table, getting interesting stares from everyone. Rober glanced at BongBong, and she did the same. I quirked my brow at this new feeling I was getting from them, it felt warm, kinda like having a blanket on.

Oh… I see what it is, they should really go up that ladder already. Glancing at Gonzales, I saw him with a handkerchief on his nose, trying to clean the snot on it. So he was crying, that's such a Gonzales reaction.

Wait, who gave him the… Amelia, she noticed my stare and flipped me the bird. My smile just became wider.

Dakota was staring flatly at me, "Sappy motherfucker." She said with a straight face and no emotion.

"You are just angry because of your lack of femininity." I blandly stated, making her sputter in indignation and anger.

Beth was giggling at our talk, I could tell she enjoyed the song as if it were any other. She just kept eating and humming at the tune while I was singing.

Letting the butterflies put the guitar back inside the Coffin, I made an abysmal attempt at ignoring the amount of attention singing in the cafeteria of all places gave me.

Good thing I ate early since Binah just happened to be around and our talk happened rather early. So I just went and had a quick lunch before making the burritos.

Glancing to my right, I saw Tiffany and Jeremy talking at their own table, but I did notice the glances they threw at me while I was singing. Welp, guess it's common knowledge now.

I'm surprisingly okay with that. I wonder what's Netzach doing… I can't say I like the guy, but there is no reason to dislike him either. Maybe I should make an attempt to understand him?

Could work… but he doesn't seem to be interested in a lot of things. Although, from the few times we interacted, he seemed weirdly fond of that giant flower in a cup on his floor. Either that, or I bluntly ask him why he even bothers complaining if he isn't going to do anything about it.

May as well give it a try. All the Sephirah must have a history to tell, like Malkuth did. Yesod would obviously won't tell me his and that's fine, but if what I have seen is correct... then all the Sephirah seem to be miserable from something they perceive of their past life as a mistake/failure.

And I… insulted Gebura in what is most likely hers. Wow… now I feel like a piece of human trash, that'll have to be a problem for future me, hopefully when that happens she doesn't try to kill me... again.

Sure, some of them will be my enemies when shit hits the fan, but I don't want to hate them or be hated by them… even if Yesod makes it hard for me.

Getting up, Beth threw me a curious stare, "I'm just going to have a little chat with someone. Enjoy yourselves." Answering the unsaid question, I started walking away.

Walking through the facility was starting to become a simple affair. Guess that's just me memorizing the layout, and in a few minutes I was in Safety again.

This time, Netzach was staring up at the giant cup with a flower in it. Guess he does like it, "Does it have some kind of meaning to you?" I asked, it felt as if he was appraising it.

Netzach glanced at me once before turning back to the plant, "Does it need to have one?" He asked, and I hummed.

"I don't think so, but you seem to think it should have one." The Sephirah seemed to have ignored my words.

That is, until he spoke again, "It's glorifying, the cup is a metaphor to glorify the plant as if it was more than it is." I looked up at said plant and really focused on that.

Huh… yeah I can kinda see that, "Makes sense, heard art is all about that kind of stuff. People notice due to peculiarities they see or taste." It was how I saw it.

This time he actually turned towards me, "I guess you could be right, but I think it's a cry of desperation, like they are pouring their heart out and no one seems to get it." Well, that's an interesting point of view… wait, have I been pouring my heart out when singing?

Food for thought...

Hmm? I scratched my chin and looked at Netzach and the Enkephalin dripping down the gaps in his metallic body... constantly seems to not care, acts miserable, shows it to everyone…

"Hey Netzach, you seem to hate being here and if I ask why you are here, I have a feeling you'd say you don't have a choice." I suddenly asked. He didn't seem to show any outward reaction to it.

But now his single eye had focus, which was being used on me, "I thought that was pretty obvious, it's not like I'm quiet about it…" It's good to have confirmation.

"Why make it a spectacle? Does everyone else really need to know you are suffering?" Seeing him freeze for a moment told me a lot.

He got his bearings fairly quickly, and I could feel some animosity from him now, "It's not like you were any different, going around in a crazy rampage and all that…" So I touched a nerve, tells me even more.

"The difference being I made an active effort to keep to myself. You, on the other hand, seem to drag others with you? No... that's not quite right, you don't seem that malicious." Not that his words affected me that much. I did feel like punching him for a brief moment, but it wasn't that prominent, and I'm more worried about what I'm finding out about this guy.

He didn't answer, actually I think he wants to leave right now, "I don't know what you are getting at. It's not like the employees don't know how dangerous this place is." Deflecting now? I'm definitely getting somewhere.

And if my experience with Tiffany are anything to go by… I don't think Netzach understands how much HE himself wants to live.

Do I push the issue? May as well, it could get him to hate my guts... but if it ends up helping, it would have been worth it, "Maybe it's just as you said. This is a show of desperation from your part, but no one is catching on what bothers you so much." He tried to hide his reaction, but I'm kind of a master at this. I know I got to him.

I also know he isn't happy with what I said, "What's with this sudden approach? If you have time bothering with me, shouldn't you deal with the one's really in danger?" I huffed at that. Had he said that a couple of days early, I would have done just that.

Now? I guess there are just some things I know not to mess with, "If there is one mistake I made, it would be trying to be personally accountable for things that weren't my fault. Almost went crazy indulging that desire." I commented with a sigh. I'm just being myself, really.

Trying to help because I feel like it, but I can't do much for those that would still do the same thing even after showing another way. I'm not their fucking Nana.

I turned around to walk away, "Just like right now, I could try goading you with pretty words, but that'll be bullshit. You are right in one thing, this place isn't safe, but you aren't making it any better." Leaving the floor after saying my piece, I hummed. Hope that gets him on the right track.

I do wonder what got him to be this… despondent, not that he remembers who he was at the moment. When he gets those memories back, I'd like to know a bit more about him.

To me, it looks like he is a decent guy under all that depression.