The grip on her broom was almost painful. And she didn't feel like she was controlling her broom that much. Which would be a shame, she always proclaimed herself as the expert of magic control.

Okay, on the outside, she was controlling. But inside, she was a mess right now.

No wonder, after everything that happened. Lucius, the paladins, everything… It was honestly a lot to process. Especially now that it was all over. During the battles, there wasn't much time for it. And now, despite the victory… Vanessa didn't felt that much joy, that much happiness.

Why?

Was it just due to the exhaustion? Because this time, some people have died? None of the Black Bulls, but just because none of them died doesn't meant that the other deaths didn't matter, Vanessa was well aware of that. She heard that a lot of the Crimson Lions found their death, sacrificing themselves for captain Mereoleona. She felt bad for the remaining knights of that squad, especially the Fire Vermillion siblings. Captain Fuegoleon always cared a lot for his squad.

Captain Jack also found his death, from what she gathered. She didn't know the exact circumstances, but she knew that captain Yami must have been affected by that, captain Jack had been one of his oldest friends and rivals.

Vanessa didn't know which other people died, be it knights or civilians. But deaths weren't the only stakes, how much trauma must the people have who survived this war against Lucius Zogratis?

How must Nozel felt after he had fought his mother and watched her dying a second time?

Vanessa gulped. Thank goodness that she was alone and that she didn't say that out loud. After all, it was still a secret, no one knows.

And to be honest, she was still rather surprised about their bond they started to share after the whole raid in Spade. It wasn't friendship, it wasn't quite love… she thought.

It just was impossible to describe.

But that didn't change the fact that Vanessa came to care for him. Which was weird as well, since she used to resent him about how he treated Noelle. But she didn't knew Nozel back then.

The truth had been so much different and complex than what Vanessa initially thought it was. After he more or less opened up to her – that took some months – and after she came to know his perspective of the things, how many guilt issues he had, how big his pain was, just like Noelles but for other reasons… Vanessa came to understand him and to forgive him. It was still bad, but Nozel wasn't a monster. Even though he sometimes called himself that way, somehow convinced by this statement.

How could Vanessa be harsh on him, when he was so terribly harsh on himself already?

The grip on her broom tightened. Vanessa wanted to know if he was okay… but she also wanted to forget what happened for a while. For a night.

Was it selfish of her? The Black Bulls and any other squad had so much to do. Asta still was in a coma, each person of all three realms needed help and support, her squadmates didn't come fully to terms with what happened those last few days… It was so many things to handle that Vanessa wasn't able to have everything in mind.

But at the same time, it felt like she needed that. To have comfort, to be in an embrace, to forget all the bad things for a moment…

Was it possible to be selfless and selfish altogether? Because she wanted to check on Nozel and to have his comfort? Maybe he needed comfort too.

Gosh, those were just feelings and emotions, why were they so complicated?

Vanessa was so deeply lost in her thoughts that she didn't realized she finally reached the royal capital until she almost flew into a wall of the Silva Palace.

"Shit, I'm really not in the best shape today," Vanessa groaned, clearly unhappy with herself. Why did she care more than usual, why was she unable to be her laidback and unbothered drunk self?

She almost wished that she could just have some wine, as it was also a good way to forget those difficult times for a while. But unlikely for her, she didn't want wine.

Vanessa was thirsty for something else.

It wasn't difficult to find Nozels balcony. It had a great view over the famous Silva Flower Garden… and the capital, still standing but you could see that there had been a war not so long ago.

There was light in his chamber. And this late, it could only mean that he was here. Vanessa sighed in relief. It would have been so awkward if she would have stumbled upon a random servant instead of Nozel.

Carefully landing on the balcony to not make any noise, Vanessa put her broom against the wall and looked inside. Nozel was alone, sitting on his bed, it looked a framed picture. It looked like there were some tears in his eyes.

Was a small painting of his mother? Oh gosh, how terrible he must feel! She couldn't leave him alone! So, Vanessa knocked softly on the glass.

It wasn't loud, but it was enough startle Nozel. He almost let go of the small painting he was holding, but there was some relief still in his eyes when he recognized her.

Only some relief. It was still a lot of surprise in his metallic lilac eyes. For some reason, it felt like a sting in her heart… But that was just her imagination. Why would he not be surprise to see her? It wasn't like she came announced and they haven't planned to see each other today. To be fair, their meetings were never planned in general.

Nozel still stood up immediately and opened his balcony door. Vanessa was grateful to enter. It was a fresh evening and despite the fact that his bedroom was mostly empty, at least it was warm.

"Why are you here?"

"You don't wanna see me, handsome?"

"That's not it! I mean… But shouldn't you be with the Black Bulls? You all need each other right now."

Vanessa blushed a bit, hoping that Nozel wouldn't see it. But it was so nice of him to remember how much the Black Bulls meant to her and how quickly he came to understand were like family. Vanessa wouldn't have thought it at first, but Nozel was a very good listener.

She wondered if anyone knew that. Did Noelle knew?

"It's fine, the Black Bulls still have each other. But I know a big brother who might be there for his siblings, but who needs someone there for him…"

And I might need some kind of comfort only you can give me…

She wouldn't say that out loud. It didn't felt right. Or at least, if it was, not the kind of right Vanessa was used to.

Nozel didn't answer. Only a sigh escaped his lips. It sounded sad and Vanessa could imagine why. If she had a good relationship with her own mother, how would she react if she had been revived by an evil mastermind and Vanessa would be forced to face her, after barely have starting to heal from the loss?

Vanessa didn't know what to say, so she just went for a hug. He always looked like he needed one.

Nozel was like always taken aback by the hug and only gave in with hesitation. It hurt Vanessa a bit, for him. Even Noelle wasn't that hesitating with the hugs and she was still often a tiny bit reluctant about it.

"Noelle told me you got yourself an armour spell when… when you fought your mother, during the second round… I want to congratulate you, but at the same time I think it's not an easy thing for you."

"Given the circumstances, I would have preferred to not got a new spell… The price seemed too high…"

Vanessa couldn't blame him for feeling that way, so she didn't reply. But still, according to Noelle, his armour must be really cool, hopefully he would grew warm to the situation one day.

"And what about you? No problem with your magic?"

"Nope, thank goodness. Asta stopped his shared Anti-Magic just in time."

Vanessa didn't understood that sharing of Anti-Magic well yet, but one thing was certain, it was pretty cool. She couldn't imagine what Asta would be able to do if he trained more for this new ability, for example if he could share it with more people than just those close to him or if he would be able to activate it on the distance.

But as cool as it was, if course it was bound to have a drawback. Too bad that they had to find it out in the middle of a battle, when Charmy started to feel as if her magic was slowly being weaker… Used to long, sharing Anti-Magic would make the magic of those shared with disappear completely.

A scary thought, even for Asta who had no magic. He had stopped the sharing immediately, thankfully just in time. He had felt so very guilty about it, almost making the magics of his squadmates disappear. Of course it wasn't his fault.

The Black Bulls would need to make Asta understand that he had nothing to feel bad about… Once he would wake up from his coma.

It certainly took him a lot to fight Lucius. It took a lot from everyone and Asta wasn't the only one in a coma. But he was one of the few who faced Lucius Zogratis directly. Vanessa hoped that he would wake up soon. She was of course worried about him and Asta still needed to hear about many things.

She sighed quietly. She didn't want to think about all of those worries right now. Asta in a coma, the aftermath of the war against Lucius Zogratis, her own confused feelings, everything…

"Noelle went to visit Asta tonight," Nozel suddenly said. "She is worried about him, at least she told me so much."

"We all are, honestly. He took a lot in this war. And we Black Bulls are used to take turns when one of us is in a coma. Which didn't happen often, thankfully. Guess Noelle wanted to have her share as well."

Not to mention that it was practically an open secret that she was crushing like wild on him. Okay, not everyone was realizing it, but it was still a very open secret. But not something Vanessa would dare to mention yet to Noelles older brother. At least not yet. Nozel might need to know one day.

"I hope she will be fine. It worries her a lot and I don't know what I can do to at least ease her pain a bit."

Does he realize how cute he was when he was acting like a proper loving older brother towards Noelle?

"How about a hug? This always helps, Noelle loves them and she might especially love it coming from you of all people."

"I do that already… But it's not much…"

"It is a lot already and I'm sure it means the world to her, so don't worry. Don't underestimate hugs, stud."

Nozel just sighed, not sounding convinced at all. Vanessa was ready to bet that he thought he should do so much more. Okay, he wouldn't be completely wrong, but at the same time, he was so terribly harsh on himself already, to a point that he would feel guilty even for things he was innocent.

"Where are your other siblings?" she asked. Not that she wasn't close to Solid and Nebra, nor was she fond of them in particular due to reasons – okay, Nebra actually made some efforts with Noelle over the last year and the sisters became slightly closer – but Noelle and Nozel cared about them a lot and Vanessa refused to deny them that.

"Nebra is on duty at the infirmary. As for Solid… still chained to bed with fever, but according to Owen it's not deadly. At least that…"

"Noelle did mention something like that," Vanessa replied. No wonder her royal squadmate had decided to sleep at the Silva Palace rather often this last few days, when one of her siblings came back terribly ill from the war. Vanessa didn't really liked Solid Silva, but for the sake of Noelle, Nozel and even Nebra a bit, she was relieved that his fever wasn't deadly. It was already difficult for the Silva siblings to have lost their beloved mother a second time, losing one of them as well would have been too much.

Speaking of…

"How are you, handsome?"

"I manage."

In Nozel language, this actually meant that he wasn't doing fine. Vanessa wasn't surprised at all about that, but she would have preferred if Nozel would put his stubborn pride aside and clearly say how badly he felt. Was this a Silva thing?

She would love if Nozel could open more to her in general. But maybe this was too much to ask for. After all, they weren't friends, they weren't in a romantic relationship. What were they?

Vanessa always hated when that kind of question came to her mind. And like always when it happened, she did the one thing that could distract her the best way possible from it. She put her lips on Nozels.

She felt him freeze in her arm. Yeah, maybe that wasn't the best approach. Normally, she would flirt with him a bit, making her intentions clear. Nozel normally don't understood immediately, but he wasn't dense like captain Yami, so he often understood her intentions rather quickly. And then he blushed in such an adorable way.

Still, Nozel didn't take too long before he gave in to the kiss. This reassured Vanessa. What they had, as mysterious as it was, was rather fragile. She didn't know why, but she was afraid to lose it one way or another. Her decisions and thoughts didn't seem to make sense when it came to the captain of the Silver Eagles.

At least to her.

Vanessa couldn't explain why and how exactly they ended up in this unique bond between them. And in a way, she didn't want to explain it either. There was an unknown she didn't really want to unveil, as she didn't want to lose what she had, as unexplainable as it was already.

So, she ignored it, living in the present only, like she always did.

Is it a good idea, though?

"Vanessa… Don't you think… that this might be not the right moment?", Nozel asked quietly, but not letting go of her.

"Maybe… I don't know," Vanessa replied. For once, she wasn't teasing or flirting with him. She had her reasons why she came to him this night, sure. But, was it selfless, was it selfish? Was it both altogether?

Still, she wanted comfort. And she wanted to comfort Nozel. Even if he wouldn't ask for, once you got behind his cold mask, it was actually pretty obvious that he needed comfort. Vanessa just hoped that she was giving him the kind he needed.

Her hands ran softly on his chest. She could feel every muscle under the fabric of his clothes. Nozel wasn't buff, but not thin either, he actually was sexy. And his muscles were still elegantly toned. She had the occasions to see it once in a while…

"Last time was three months ago," Nozel replied, in a resigned tone, but there was also an eager, longing hint within the softness of his voice.

"I know… We were doing fine before this… this whole mess with Lucius happened," Vanessa answered, closing her eyes with a soft gasp as she felt his hands caressing her back and her arms.

They didn't only met for sensual embraces, to spent the night in each other's arms. They also came to talk, to open a bit to each other, to just be together, with some occasional kisses… Mostly coming from Vanessa. It was nice, she even got the rare sight of Nozel smiling from time to time.

His smile was so soft… If only he could smile more often. But his burden was sadly still too huge for allowing that.

Vanessa sighed. She had no intention to leave and she had no intention to torture herself tonight with all those memories. And she didn't want to leave Nozel alone. His loneliness was so painful to witness.

"I… I just don't wanna think about what happened, everything about it. I know I can't ignore it, but… I feel overwhelmed by this whole war, with all of those consequences. It was already so much and right now, it feels like too much. I just… want to forget for a night, to focus on nothing that worries me. It is draining and… I know it sounds selfish, but I really don't wanna feel bad and worried for one night."

"I understand." Nozel started to pepper kisses on her neck. "It's nothing about… what used to dwell you one year ago?"

He didn't quite mentioned it, what exactly lead to their first embrace… But Vanessa understood still what Nozel meant.

For some weird, mysterious reason, she feared for a moment that it would hurt him.

"No. It has nothing to do with that."

Before he could reply, Vanessa went for his lips again, kissing him with all the passion she could manage. The fire went stronger as they started to make out, a familiar feeling that still felt like new and unknown.

Nozel went rather bold as he carried her up and Vanessa instinctively crossed her legs behind his back as they continued to make out passionately while he carried her to his bed. She already started to tug on his clothes.

Their lips barely broke the current kiss as he lied her down on the mattress, while their hands were focused on each other's clothes. There was an urgency both could feel and it was difficult to fight against.

Vanessa opened her eyes again she felt the last piece of fabric being taken away from her skin. Despite all the urgency flowing between them, Nozel never would even think about ripping her clothes and to her own surprise, she highly appreciated this kind of gesture. Within all the thirst, there was always respect from him.

Only his royal underpants were still on him, otherwise everything was free. Vanessa licked her lips at the sight his bare chest, his toned and finely defined muscles, the scars, the pale skin… she had thought for long that buff men were her type. But Nozel Silva was the most handsome man she ever met.

He still had his famous braid on. To undo it was something Vanessa never dared to do so far. It would be such a treat to see Nozel without his braid, but ever since they started to spend time together, it was like something was holding her back. And while she had been one of the few Black Bulls to always mock this particular hairstyle, much to Noelles dismay, now she started to feel bad every time she made fun out of the braid.

Maybe one day, she would feel brave enough. It must be amazing to let her fingers through his bangs. Despite how it looked like, Nozels hair was full, soft and silky, in a different way than Noelles. Vanessa loved to run her hands and her fingers through it. She couldn't help but giggle when she remembered how Nozel reacted when she asked him about what kind of hair products he used.

"Hair products? Only a shampoo and a conditioner, why should I need more? Too much product is not good for the hair!"

Well, she couldn't tell Magna yet, but he had lost their bet. He had been so sure that the captain of the Silver Eagles used a lot of hair products to make his hair look like that. Well, his hair was like this naturally.

"What is so funny?" Nozel asked as he bowed down over her.

"Nothing, stud, nothing at all," Vanessa giggled, while teasingly moving up the mattress, to make him follow her. Nozel groaned, but climbed on the bed completely still. "You still have some fabric on, captain, and I rather want to feel your whole skin brush against mine."

She knew her voice was sensual, it was on purpose to make Nozel blush. It was so different than Noelle and somehow, Vanessa find it more adorable. His cheeks were mostly coloured, but his cold mask always disappeared for a second, making him look so vulnerable and innocent.

Nozel nodded and started to take of his underpants. Vanessa came over to help him, peppering some kisses on his jawline while doing so. Her thirst just grew stronger the closer she was to him and she knew the same applied to Nozel as he started to suck on her cleavage after he was completely naked as well.

While they made out, while Nozel satisfied her with his mouth, Vanessa closed her eyes, enjoying his touches. It was just sex, but it was the best sex of her life!

But, if it was really just that… except for their first time, why did it always felt like souls coming together?

This was the last thought Vanessa had before Nozel finally entered her and they give themselves up completely to the passion, intertwined in their embrace.

It was so weird to see Asta this calm. Okay, of course he had his serious moments and when he wanted, he knew how to be calm.

But this, this was still different. Surely because he was in a coma. Noelle wasn't unfamiliar with that, she had seen captain Fuegoleon in this state as well. But he came back and even stronger, so of course Asta would come back.

Right?

Noelle groaned in frustration. She hated those doubtful thoughts. She was a Black Bull for Heaven's Sake, doubt shouldn't be in her vocabulary!

She hated to doubt, but sometimes it seems that it wouldn't go otherwise. That war had put so much into perspective, questioning beliefs and made so many things reconsider that Noelle came to wonder why she should still hope that everything would be like before, as if nothing ever happened.

It won't be like that, changes were part of life and it was probably stupid to think that everything will be back to normal like it was before. It had already been slightly different after Spade, why not after Lucius and his paladins?

Thinking about paladins made Noelle think about her mother. Lucius was dead now, thankfully, but she hated him that he took Acier Silva away from her rest. Nozel and her hadn't defeated Megicula and freed their mother's soul just for some evil mastermind to use her as one of his puppets! Noelle hadn't shown it during her first battle against Paladin Acier and even though she said that this wasn't her mother anymore, it had still been difficult to fight. It had hurt to hear her mother talk to her own children as if only strength mattered. From all the things she imagined about Acier and the few memories Nozel and later Nebra told her, Noelle had been quite hurt inside by this corrupt vision of her own mother. And she had no memories of her, how difficult must it had been for her siblings? Nozel, Nebra and Solid had a hard time to fight during the first battle and Noelle actually couldn't even blame them for that. She probably would have reacted the same way if she had even some few memories of their mother.

And she hadn't been able to surpass Acier Silva during their first fight.

Thankfully, they got a grip on themselves and during the second fight against Paladin Acier, it wasn't just Noelle alone, but all four Silva Siblings fighting against Lucius' puppet, trying to give their mother finally the rest she deserved. Nozel even surpassed himself and got such a cool armour spell! Even Leviathan had been amazed by it! In the end, with the help of Nebra and Solid of course, Noelle and Nozel gave the final blow together.

That battle, plus her own bond with Leviathan… She had so many things to tell Asta. Once he would wake up.

Right now she just couldn't.

Okay, technically, she could tell him all those things while he was in coma. Gauche told her once that sometimes, people in coma could still hear things… Whether it was true or not, certainly the Black Bulls who already visited Asta told him a lot of things, Yuno too who visited him earlier and Mimosa certainly did.

But Noelle? She was already unable to confess her love for him and it took her years to admit it already to herself. No wonder she was unable to just tell him things while he was in a coma.

Noelle balled her fists, almost diving her nails into her skin. She was a warrior, she came to believe in herself, she grew so much since she became a Black Bull. But when it comes to her feelings, she was still a coward. Especially concerning Asta.

She wasn't even brave enough to at least whispering in his ears that she was in love with him while he was in a coma! Noelle was ready to bet that Mimosa actually did that, her cousin had been more open about her own feelings for Asta. She didn't spent years denying it, neither to others or to herself.

Noelle didn't think she would be able to take it if Asta would one day end up with Mimosa. The mere thought… And at the same time, if it was the other way around, Mimosa would certainly be kind enough to support them even heartbroken. It was so clear that if Asta wouldn't end up with her, her cousin would be supportive.

Does this mean that out of the two of them, Mimosa deserved more to end up with Asta? Because she would be supportive, while Noelle couldn't bear the thought of Asta being with another girl? Even Rebecca seemed more supportive! Did she love Asta enough to let him go, be happy with another girl? Noelle wasn't sure and didn't tried to convince herself either. She spent enough time in denial and her jealousy wasn't always helping.

Should she even focus on her feelings and their complexity while the Clover Kingdom was in shamble and needed to be build up again? Hopefully better than after the attack of the Eye Of The Midnight Sun. Noelle hadn't forgotten the Devil Believers.

People died, people were wounded, people were in a coma. Asta was not the only close person to Noelle to be in a coma. Okay, technically speaking, Solid wasn't in a coma and thank goodness it wasn't deadly. But his delirious fever was still serious. This was why Noelle often slept at the Silva Palace after the end of the war. Just to be here for Solid as well, to not let Nozel and Nebra being alone with their worry. After all, Noelle was worried too for their brother.

She were on so much better terms with Nozel, she started to get along with Nebra and Noelle wanted also to be on better terms with Solid. Despite all the hurtful memories, she still loved them and she wanted to heal together with them. Especially after she learned the truth about their mother… They were all three still children with no proper parent figure after Acier died and Nozel had a heavy burden. Noelle believed that if she had been in his shoes, she wouldn't have handled all this tragedy differently.

Noelle sighed. It was a lot to bear, for herself and for their country.

"I knew it."

Noelle jumped on her chair, but was relieved when she saw Nebra at the door. She knew that her older sister was one of the knights on duty in the infirmary tonight.

"Noelle, your knight robe won't give you enough warmth. It is a cold night, after all."

"Oh… I haven't realized."

Nebra sighed and Noelle could have sworn that it was out of frustration and affection altogether. It was nice to know that from her sister.

Nebra moved over and put a warm blanket over her shoulder. For the first time since a while, Noelle had a small smile.

"Thank you, Nebra."

"Don't mention it. Is your squadmate not ready to wake up yet?"

"No and Owen couldn't tell yet when Asta would be back. No wonder, he had taken a lot during the final battle."

"The kingdom owes him again, it seems. But I fear a lot of nobility still won't accept it."

"Really? But that wouldn't be fair! And given everything that happened, shouldn't the nobles be ready for some changes?"

"Changes will happen, on that I agree with you. But nobles didn't change their mind after the Eye Of The Midnight Sun, after the raid in Spade and they won't either after this new war against Lucius Zogratis. Nobles are very contradictory, Noelle, and for some reason even I can't understand, they might esteem that all those wars and such just confirms their status quo. Sadly, said status quo is very rooted. And I know it's wrong now, but I believed it for quite some time and from that, I know that nobles will cling on their beliefs. Changes won't be easy, not only with how stubborn they are, but also now we don't have our Wizard King anymore."

Nebra looked at her and Noelle understood immediately her unspoken words. It was indeed such a tragedy that Julius Novachrono had to disappear with Lucius Zogratis' death. But she hadn't realized that with their Wizard King not being here anymore, it would be more difficult to fight against the unfairness in the kingdom. After all, Julius had done so much against this injustice…

Noelle couldn't help but look at Asta again. He wanted so much to be Wizard King, he was so determined to give this country more justice and fairness, he admired Julius Novachrono so much… How would he feel about all of this once he would wake up?

"All I hope is that marriage proposals will be hold back for a while, so that Nozel maybe won't end up doing it."

"Hm? What do you mean, Nebra?"

"You don't know? Okay, I shouldn't be surprise that you don't know, I haven't been aware myself until recently."

"About what?"

"That Nozel would sacrifice himself into an arranged marriage in order that you, me and Solid will be free on the matrimony topic."

Noelle gaped, looking at her older sister with shock. Did Nebra realized what kind of bomb she just dropped?

"You… are you sure?"

"He never said it himself. But yes, I'm sure of it. Think about it, Noelle. None of us four are married or at least betrothed yet. Logically, you should have been at least betrothed before you became a Magic Knight and I should have been married since years now. And given what Nozel had given up since mother died and since he took over house Silva…"

Nebra didn't continued, but she didn't need to. Her silence and her worried glance said enough. Noelle looked at Asta, thinking about her feelings for him and about what she just learned about Nozel.

Could she really hope one day to be together with Asta for the rest of their lives when for that, her beloved older brother had to sacrifice his own happiness?

Charlotte took the blanket and put it over Flores face. Flore had been one of her newer knights, still young, the future right in front of her. And her life and future had been taken from her, by Lucius Zogratis.

Flore was avenged now, but Charlotte didn't find it enough. She would have preferred so much that her knight would have lived, that she would have gotten the opportunity to grow, to get stronger, to become a proud and amazing knight of the Blue Rose squad. Like with each of her girls, Charlotte had been looking forward for it.

And it would never happen…

At least, Flore wasn't alone when she died, at least she had the opportunity to go to the afterlife in peace. Charlotte had been here for her last moments.

Dying was horrible. But surviving and watching people die, be it close ones or unknown ones, was somehow even worse. Was this the famous survivor's guilt? Maybe… But Charlotte didn't really care. If she couldn't be able grieve, to feel pain for those who suffer, what was the point of being a Magic Knight in the first place?

Charlotte felt tears falling from her eyes, even more so as she thought about Flores last words…

"It's sad that I won't witness it anymore… Maybe I can in the afterlife. But I'm actually sure that you and captain Yami will soon end up together."

Flore didn't say that she hoped. But that she was sure… Like each one of the Blue Roses, she had been so supporting and happy about her captain's love for the captain of the Black Bulls. And her last thoughts were for this.

Tears were now flowing like a waterfall down her cheeks, while soft cries escaped her lips as she sat down, allowing herself to be vulnerable for a moment.

Since she confessed her love for Yami back in Spade one year ago, Charlotte hadn't been able to do more about that. Instead, she just flew away, like she always did. How pathetic. What a coward she was. She might really have hurt his feelings by her actions, no wonder he was so convinced that she didn't like him.

Which wasn't true! But how would he know? Maybe due his Ki-Reading? Charlotte was vaguely surprised the man she loved never realized so far that she loved him by reading her Ki. And according to Yami himself, emotions were normally easy to read. So… why did he never realized her feelings so far? She knew that Yami could be kind of stupid, but not that stupid! Right?

Why was she even trying to find some faults in him when she was certainly the bigger fool? Would she ever have chance with him? Wouldn't he be better off with someone else? Like the witch from his squad or one of those women from his homeland, who were all so kind to help them during the war?

No! She couldn't give up, despite being unsure, despite her grief and sadness, despite her mistakes! On the contrary, Charlotte knew that she should at least try. Her squad didn't support her for nothing and in a way, it was a bit like the last wish Flore had. She couldn't throw that away.

Besides, he invited her to have some tea before the beginning of the war. First it was for a drink, but Yami remembered like always that she couldn't hold her liquor, so he invited her for tea instead. Wasn't this maybe a possibility that she still had a chance with him? They really needed to talk and Charlotte didn't want to lose another opportunity to make him understand how she felt.

When would they be able to have that tea, though? Charlotte knew that she shouldn't be impatient, that the kingdom would have to come first before their tea, that the cafés and restaurants of the country would first need to be reopen, rebuild, anything.

But at the same time, she had been in love with Yami Sukehiro for over a decade and she barely took action on it during this time. Was she still able to be patient or did she lost this virtue after so long?

Charlotte groaned between her tears, hiding her face behind her hands. Why was everything so complicated and simple at the same time? And why did she felt so motivated and helpless altogether?

It was so frustrating!

"Prickly Queen?"

Charlotte practically jumped on her chair. There was only one person in the world who called her like that and it was the man who didn't even know that her heart only belonged to him.

The door to the chamber had been open, something she hadn't realized. And Yami was standing in the frame.

He wasn't alone, though. One of Clover's allies from Hino were with him. The man with the eyepatch. Sadly she didn't know his name.

Was he close to Yami? Did they know each other before Yami was shipwrecked to Clover? Heavens, she had no idea about Yamis past from before Clover! It was the first time she actually realized that.

"Prickly Queen, are you alright?"

There was so much concern in his voice…

"No… I… one of my knights just passed away."

And with that, remembering Flore who died not even five minutes ago, Charlotte started to cry again.

Yami seemed taken aback, then slowly turned towards his companion. "Um, Ryu, I think I need… Well… Ya know my Wheels is waiting outside, so if it's okay for you…"

"Just do yer businesses here, old friend. Don't worry about me, I'll tell Finral-sama to not wait for you. My condolences for your loss, Charlotte-sama."

Charlotte had no idea what sama meant and she didn't know this stranger yet, but his genuine compassion had something soothing, so she nodded softly.

The man Yami called Ryu left and Yami entered the chamber, sitting down on the chair next to her. Softly, he took her hand.

"Sorry about that, Charlotte…"

"It's just not fair! Flore had still her whole future in front of her, she was always so happy, so full of joy. And now… and now… Yami, could you please stay with me?"

"Sure thing."

He didn't even finished to reply that Charlotte was already clinging on him, her face against his large chest and she wailed like she never did ever in her life before. She barely realized how Yami was taken aback by her reaction, until he put his arms around her.

It was the best comfort Charlotte could ask for.

Ichika sighed and rolled on her other side, but she still couldn't find any sleep. She tried to convince herself that this wasn't her bed, that she was in another country and that she first needed to get used to it.

But this wasn't why she couldn't find any sleep and she knew it. The place and the room she was in had nothing to do with it… expect for the fact that it was at her brother's place, the so-called Hideout of his squad, his new home.

Her brother… Sukehiro…

The war and everything that happened within was already a good reason to not find any sleep and Ichika knew that there was still a lot to came to terms with, for everyone involved. But the fact that she was now close again to her brother after so many years and with everything she just learned a few days ago, this was her own personal insomnia.

Sukehiro wasn't the one that massacred the Yami clan. That had been her the whole time, because their horrible father had forced her to swallow one of the drugs he always wanted to give Sukehiro. This didn't really surprised her from their father…

But… Gosh, she attacked Asta because he defended her brother from her accusations, while SHE had been the one culprit of the massacre! If anything, Asta should have attacked her for that crime.

Does he need to know? When she apologized to him about their fight, Asta had been drunk and just said he was glad that this had just been a misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding… what a nice way to describe the massacre of a whole family clan.

Ichika didn't know if Asta would need an explanation or not. Plus, it would be rather difficult to tell him immediately, since he was still in a coma.

She would probably got the occasion to talk with Asta later. Now, she needed to deal with her brother again… And facing her trauma. Since she only learned about the truth a few days ago, Ichika hadn't been able to come to terms with it. And how could anyone come to terms with this kind of memories?

She had been so certain that her brother was the one who massacred their entire family, while this whole time, she was the murderer. Sukehiro had just been the one who take the blame to protect her, with the help of Ryuya-sama.

The two of them tried to protect her, that she couldn't deny. But has it been the best way? She had still let her anger and her hatred towards her brother eating her from the inside. But Ichika couldn't be mad at them, that wouldn't be fair. They just had been thirteen years old and no time to properly plan this through, while she was the one who massacred all of the Yami clan.

Okay, she had just been six years old and it was because her father forced her to swallow that drug, but it didn't change the fact that she was the one responsible. And Ichika was a woman with principles, it was almost like a second nature for her to face her responsibilities and to make others do it as well.

Ichika groaned again and turned on her back, now facing the dark ceiling. Her pragmatism only gave her headache in this very moment and it hurt a lot to think about what happened all those years ago. No wonder she couldn't find any sleep.

All those people, dead for nothing. She couldn't really be sad about the death of her father, but the rest of the clan? Aunt Yorumi, who always gave her the sweetest mochis, the cousins and quadruplets Haru, Natsu, Aki and Fuyu, who loved fishing to a passion and who teached Sukehiro how to fish, uncle Tsukito who just got married to the lovely Enka-sama, a distant cousin of Ryuya-sama, cousin Yukihime who was considered one of the most beautiful woman of the clan? All the babies, the children, men and woman, young and old? Ichika couldn't really remember so many members of her own clan and even those she could remember were mostly vague, almost blurry memories.

In her doubt, she was certain that none of them deserved to die, if they weren't sharing the bloody ideology of her father.

A talk with her brother was needed, that was certain. But Ichika had no idea how to face him, how to talk to him. They barely had a moment alone during this war. Not during the two battles and not during the short period between them, where each of them mostly had to take care of the wounded or to plan the final fight.

Ichika didn't even know if she was happy to see Sukehiro again or not. Maybe she was, but with everything happening, she couldn't really feel about it. She was at least glad she was able to see him again after she learned the truth. It would have been so difficult to face him with her hate and overwhelming anger.

Plus the rest of the Black Bulls would have been confused or mad to see the sister of their captain react like this to him, if they were loving Sukehiro just as much as Asta. Ichika didn't had the occasion during the battles and the short period to know all of them better – not to mention how shocked all of them were to learn that she was the little sister of their captain – but she from what she learned, almost every one of them were more or less crazy.

Except certainly the vice-captain… that man left quite the impression on her during the war.

Well, Ichika would certainly have the occasion to get the Black Bulls better, maybe the other squads as well. While she had been the first of the Ryuzen to join the war in Clover, the others have followed one after the other. Ryuya-sama had decided to stay a bit in Clover, mostly to help this country and their allies to rebuild and to recover. Three of the Ryuzen should also stay for the help he was offering the Clover Kingdom. Not all could stay, their homeland still needed its protectors.

Given her familiar bond to one of the captains of this country's squads, Ichika was of course one of the three Ryuzen staying. But the other two? Ryuya-sama hasn't decided yet.

Ichika was still glad that she wouldn't be alone in this foreign country, that there would be familiar faces with her. She certainly was going to need that, with the proximity of her brother and all of her current issues.

"This won't help," Ichika groaned again and throwing her warm blanket away, she stood up from the bed with the too soft mattress.

Usually, when she couldn't sleep, she would look into the night, watching the moon and listening to the soft noises of the night, like the wind in the trees or the chirping of the cicadas. She always loved that, even back home in Hino, be it her family's house or the capital. Those things might be the same in this foreign country.

Indeed, the moon croissant was the same, as well as the noises, the wind and the cicadas. The moon wasn't giving too much light, but it was enough for Ichika. This was how she loved it. When the moon wasn't full, just a bow in the dark blue sky, framed by all the stars.

Maybe it was because of her yoryoku. After all, Darkness was her domain.

At least, the night in Clover felt like the one in Hino. If there were any differences, they weren't overwhelming, leaving more place for the similarities. This was so soothing and reassuring.

Maybe Ichika wouldn't get too overwhelmed by Clover. At least, during the night. Hopefully, it would at least help her a bit with her own issues and unfinished business. She always hated uncertainty, but this time, it was not possible to go around it. At least, if she was able to find some comfort in even the tiniest things, it would certainly help her to do her duty and dealing with her trauma a bit easier.

She couldn't recognized the area due to the darkness of the night. She didn't mind. She wasn't familiar with this place yet. At least, the night was the same.

Ichika let out a small contented smile while looking at the moon, feeling the fresh air against her face and listening to both the wind and the soothing song of the cicadas. Maybe it would be easier to find some sleep afterwards.

But just as she was ready enough to close her window, she heard it. Someone crying. Not heavily, more like a soft whine. As if someone was holding back even though being alone and none witness the cries.

And it was a man crying.

For a moment, Ichika feared that it was her brother who cried. Had Sukehiro been hurt during the war, was it mentally? Was it because of her, of her reappearing in his life? She haven't even thought how their reunion would affect him personally!

But then, Ichika realized that it couldn't be her brother. Sukehiro had a deep voice, not like those cries and he wasn't even home tonight. That thought alone relieved Ichika.

But if it wasn't Sukehiro, who was then crying?

Leaning down a bit, Ichika tried to recognize the silhouette. Given her yoryoku, she was actually pretty good at seeing a bit in the darkness and this small ability came quite in handy right now.

So, she soon found a silhouette just under her window, about two floors away, the man certainly hasn't noticed her. But Ichikas eyes widened in surprise when she recognized the man crying so silently in the night.

Nacht Faust, the vice-captain of the Black Bulls.

Why was he crying?

From all the people Ichika would have thought of, he hadn't been even on the list. Granted, she hadn't thought about many people at all and most of the men she knew – which wasn't a high number either, correctly speaking – weren't even present here.

Ichika didn't know why, but seeing Nacht Faust like this didn't sit well with her. She was almost ready to go down there and giving him some kind of comfort, to help him deal with his sadness.

Almost.

But she held herself back.

She didn't even know the vice-captain of the Black Bulls that much and she had no idea how to talk to him. Could she even just go down there and comfort him, when she was unable to know how to comfort him?

Maybe she would even just make things even worse if she just come to him like that with no plan at all.

Ichika hated to be hold back, especially by herself, even more when a person was in need. But she also know how to realize consequences of her actions most of the time and when she could be able to help, the kind of help the person in need actually needed the most.

And this time sadly wasn't that kind of situation.

She actually fought pretty often side by side with Nacht Faust during the war, even more than with her own brother. They haven't talked a lot with each other, except for strategies and battle plans. But it was enough for Ichika to think that the vice-captain of her brother's squad was someone with sense and who was serious.

So what was the reason he was crying for?

Wait a minute!

One of the paladins of Lucius Zogratis they had to face, the one Nacht and herself saved Sukehiro from… Nacht Faust hasn't told her anything, of course. But Ichika had gathered that this paladin had been his brother…

Was this the reason why he was crying? If she remembered correctly, his brother belonged to the kind of paladins that were dead before becoming one of Lucius' puppets. Which meant that after Lucius Zogratis was defeated, they died again…

Heavens, how long had Nachts brother been dead? Had Nacht even been able to grief his brother properly before? What were the bonds of the brothers before they were apart? How deep was the pain to have been forced to fight each other?

If that was the reason for his sadness, then Ichika could very well understand Nacht. How would she have felt if she would have been forced to fight again Sukehiro?

Ichika didn't know Nacht well yet, but right now, she deeply felt for him. And she had no idea to ease his pain. She wondered if they could start to know each other better during her stay in Clover. Maybe she would understand him better…

For some reason, she started to feel a connection to Nacht Faust. Hopefully she would be able to do something about it.

Even if it mostly will add to her business here, her duties and maybe even her issues. But Ichika felt deep down that it was the right thing.

And who was she to not start to finally trust her gut feelings more?