Author's Note: The title is part of my ongoing joke of writing duo holders fics with Jane Austen titles after "Pride, Prejudice, and Vaults." As Sense and Sensibility was about two sisters, this title refers to the Shigaraki brothers. Yoichi has sense (only in relative to his brother) and All for One has insanity. I'm also using the name Kudou to match my last very loosely Austen inspired fic.

Katsuki Bakugo marched up to the front double-doors of the elementary school and demanded, "What are you doing here, Uncle Kaiji?"

Kaiji Kudou rolled his eyes. "I see you're a brat as usual. Your parents both have to work late today, so they sent me to pick you up from school. We can stop by McDonalds on the way home if you promise to behave for me and not to tattle to your mother about me feeding you fast food."

Katsuki raised his eyebrow, a gesture he'd picked up from his mother. "That's two favors."

"Then you can get a milkshake to go with your happy meal." Kudou snorted. "You shitty extortionist."

"Don't know what that word means, but I bet I got it from your side of the family." Katsuki smirked.

Secretly, Kudou felt proud. Giving each other a hard time was how they showed affection in their family. Katsuki was only five years old and already able to hold his own with adults.

"Excuse me!" A scrawny young man stalked over, hands on his hips. Soft white hair fell over brilliantly green eyes and delicate features. He had the most beautiful white eyelashes.

Kudou's heart galloped like a runaway horse. It turned out love at first sight was real, and he'd just met his soulmate. He was already planning their wedding. He'd wear a black suit so his beautiful future husband whose name he did not yet know could wear white, as suited his perfect loveliness.

"Yes, I'm talking to you." The most beautiful man in the universe wagged a finger in front of Kudou's nose. "No swearing in front of children!"

"Uh, it's how we show love in my family," Kudou stammered. He'd become lost in the depths of those emerald green eyes. "At this point I can't teach the brat—I mean Katsuki—any words he doesn't already know."

His future husband crossed his arms. "There are other children here."

"I'm sorry," Kudou mumbled, hanging his head. Oh look, his soulmate had perfect feet too!

Izuku Midoriya peered out from behind the white-haired man. "Hi, Kacchan! Is your uncle here to pick you up like mine? That's neat! Uncle Yoichi, can we go to McDonald's too? Please please please? They're giving out Captain Hero happy toys!"

Yoichi. The modern manifestation of Aphrodite had a name, and it was Yoichi. Kudou became immediately smitten with those three lovely syllables. He should introduce himself, but his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

Smiling down at his nephew, Yoichi said, "Your mother left instructions for me to make dinner at home. I'll text her and Hisashi at their awards dinner and see if they will allow me to change plans. After all, we can't miss out on a Captain Hero toy." His fingers flew across his phone.

"Captain Hero is the greatest," Kudou agreed despite having never heard of Captain Hero before this moment.

Yoichi turned that brilliant smile on Kudou. "Oh, you're a Captain Hero fan too? You have great taste."

You have the most beautiful, kissable lips, Kudou thought, but barely managed to stop himself before something creepy came out. "Yeah, Captain Hero is the greatest of all time." The greatest what, he didn't know. The name sounded like a comic book character but he couldn't be sure.

A phone ringtone played a hero theme song. Yoichi looked down at his messages. "Inko gave permission for us to go to McDonalds."

"Yay!" Izuku cheered, leaping in the air.

"Oh, but I forgot to ask if we could join you." Yoichi tucked back a lock of hair as he turned imploring eyes on Kudou.

"I'd love—" you for the rest of my life "—that."

"We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm always happy to make friends with a fellow fan. I'm Yoichi Shigaraki. Nice to meet you." Yoichi bowed his head.

"I'm Kaiji Kudou. You can call me—" Darling, love, husbando, anything your beautiful heart desires "—you can call me—" It would be too early to be on first name terms in Japanese culture, it might come across as creepy if I try "K—"

"Call him spiky-haired idiot like my mom does," Katsuki said, kicking his uncle in the shins. "Come on, I'm hungry."

"Ow! You—" Kudou glanced at Yoichi. "…adorable child who I love very much."

Yoichi laughed behind his hand. Kudou hoped that was a good sign. But he feared it probably wasn't. Yoichi said, "While the kids play at McDonalds, we can talk about the best parts of Captain Hero."

Oh, yes! Oh, no? What the hell was a Captain Hero?

Kudou had planned to surreptitiously google Captain Hero during the walk over. But he'd gotten too distracted by Yoichi's beautiful eyes. On the hot summer day, Yoichi wore a jade tank top that highlighted his surprisingly strong abs and had completely short-circuited Kudou's brain. While standing in line to place his order, Kudou had found a Wikipedia article about a rather silly TV show parodying superheroes and directed at children. He wasn't sure if that had been the right show. It seemed too young. He'd barely had time to glance at the article.

They sat down to wait for their order to arrive. Izuku and Katsuki immediately ran to play in the ball pit. Yoichi called, "Have fun!" Then he turned to Kudou. "Who's your favorite character?"

"Captain Hero," Kudou said because that was the only character he knew.

"Me, too!" Yoichi smiled in a way that would have sent men to war. Every single bit of the Wikipedia article completely erased from Kudou's brain under the force of that dazzling beauty. He was doomed. Oblivious, Yoichi continued, "I can't believe Captain Hero never placed higher than third in the popularity polls. The Demon King even beat him twice. I'd suspect my brother of rigging the votes except we were only twelve back then. Even my brother wasn't an evil mastermind at that age—probably."

There was a Demon King in this story? Kudou had thought it to be a superhero comic. Was it set in the real world or a fantasy land? Sweat dripped down his forehead. He went for a safe response. "Uh, there's no accounting for taste. Some people like edgy characters, I guess."

"That's my brother to a tee." Yoichi rolled his beautiful, perfect eyes. "What did you think of the trailer for the new Captain Hero remake?"

"Brilliant," Kudou said, trying again for a safe response.

Yoichi frowned. "Really? I was disappointed. It seemed like they wanted to turn the show ridiculously edgy. It's supposed to be fun."

The safe response had been a trap. Kudou purpled. "Uh, you're right."

Yoichi said, "You don't have to agree with me about everything. Honestly, I was hoping to like the remake, so I'd be happy to be persuaded. What did you like about the trailer?"

Kudou's head spun. The world blurred. He wondered if he could escape this trap by faking a heart attack. "The…music."

Yoichi chuckled. "Yes, they did bring back the classic theme song! Oh, but I have strong feelings about Captain Hero's new costume."

As Yoichi rambled on, Kudou tried to absorb every last detail for clues. But he had a bad feeling that next time he got asked a question, he'd be doomed.

Watching from the ball pit, Katsuki said, "Uncle Kaiji looks terrified. He's never seen a single episode of Captain Hero, I dunno who he thinks he's fooling. Do you think he might faint? If he faints then will we get a ride in the ambulance? That would be so cool."

"I think your uncle likes Uncle Yoichi," Izuku said. "Like as in like. My mom says lots of people like my uncle but he's denser than a neutron star."

Katsuki snorted. "My mom says my uncle has less game than a nature preserve full of endangered animals."

Izuku clapped his hands. "We should help them!"

Katsuki stomped on a ball. "Why?"

Izuku tapped his chin, pondering. "Because…I'll give you half my cookie at lunch tomorrow."

"Half a cookie?" Katsuki gasped. "That's way too much. My stupidhead uncle isn't worth more than a crumb. For half a cookie, you can have my uncle's friend Bruce too."

"Oh, then what about a funny-looking bug instead?"

"No, I'm taking half your cookie, I just needed you to know that I won the bargain." Katsuki leapt out of the ball pit and marched over, shouting, "I want to talk about Captain Hero too!"

Yoichi said, "So that's why Captain Hero made the selfless decision of cutting ties with his friends, and I'm tired of people giving him a hard time about it. But I'm talking too much. What's the worst take you've ever heard on Captain Hero, in your opinion?"

"Uhhh…" Kudou muttered desperately. It had been fine when Yoichi had been ranting. Kudou could listen to that lovely voice all day. But now he'd been cornered. He didn't see a way to generically answer this question. If he just kept agreeing with everything Yoichi said, it would be too obvious. Especially since Yoichi had already called him out on that once. What to do? Was it time to fake a heart attack? Or have one for real? "Uhhh…"

Katsuki ran up to the table, jostling them as he grabbed the edge. "I wanna go first. Idiots say that Captain Hero lost to the Demon King when they first met. But the Demon King took hostages! That fight didn't count!"

Kudou leapt on the cue he'd been given. "I agree, that's my least favorite take too." Locking eyes with his nephew, he mouthed, I owe you one.

Katsuki smirked, leaving little doubt he planned to collect later.

Yoichi nodded. "That's a good one. I'm not sure if Captain Hero could have beaten the Demon King that early, but I agree the fight wasn't fair. We didn't get a real assessment of their relative power levels until season three."

Izuku followed at Katsuki's heels. "What's your favorite weapon of the ones Captain Hero used? I like his final sword. It had the coolest powers."

Yoichi said, "The final sword was pretty, but I have a soft spot for his earlier weapons."

While Yoichi wasn't looking, Izuku made a motion as if drawing a bow. Kudou caught on. "Um, my favorite was his bow."

"Oh! Me too!" Yoichi beamed. "Fine, I know it's a less traditional weapon for a main character, but the bow of light was beautiful. And it had such a cool power! A real hero doesn't just defeat his enemies, he saves them. Like the scene where Captain Hero used his arrow of truth to see inside the medusa's heart and realize she was only looking for her missing child. That was one of my favorite moments."

With the help of the two children, Kudou survived the conversation. Now he just needed to spend the evening cramming as much Captain Hero knowledge as possible into his head. Then he would beg his sister (on his hands and knees if necessary) to let him pick up Katsuki again tomorrow.

Hisashi and Inko arrived home carrying a giant trophy. Their cheeks were slightly flushed from drinking and partying. Hisashi Midoriya was the author of an extremely popular superhero manga, and he'd just won a prestigious award.

Yoichi opened the door. "Did you have fun?"

"I drank a little too much," Inko admitted. "The speeches were boring. Except my husband's, of course."

Hisashi sat his trophy down on the coffee table. "Where's my little hero?"

Izuku ran down the stairs and leapt into his father's arms. "Daddy!"

Hisashi peppered his son's face with kisses. "I brought you back gifts, ducky. We saved a slice of cake for you. And we took home a poster." Hisashi proudly unfurled a giant poster of Deku, the main character of his manga. He'd based his main character off his son to fulfil Izuku's dream of becoming a hero. And he'd drawn the villain All for One to look like himself, a joke on how he would play the villain to his son's hero during their make-believe games. "It's even signed by the author," he said with a wink, pointing at his own signature.

Izuku gasped and kissed the poster. "I love it!"

"Who do you love more, the poster or me?" Hisashi joked.

"I love Daddy the mostest!" Izuku spread his arms. "Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!"

"I have even better news." Hisashi's grin widened. "We're getting an anime! And All Might will be voiced by Toshinori Yagi." Deku's mentor was All Might, a character based off Izuku's favorite doll. Toshinori Yagi was Izuku's favorite voice actor.

"Does this mean…?" Izuku asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes, you can meet all the actors for the anime. We're throwing a welcome party in a few weeks. You'll be able to get Toshinori Yagi's autograph."

Izuku squealed. Hisashi cried, "But first you must evade the dread villain All for One!" and chased his son up the stairs.

Yoichi headed home, and Inko went to lie down in her bedroom since she felt a little dizzy. Hisashi took over putting Izuku to bed. After a little chase to wear his son out, and some light tickling, he gave Izuku a bath. Afterward, Izuku sat on the toilet seat in his Deku pajamas while his father combed his hair.

Squirming, Izuku said, "I was a real hero today."

"Hold still, I don't want to hurt you," Hisashi said. "Hmm, what did you do?"

Izuku said proudly, "I helped Kacchan's uncle who has a crush on Uncle Yoichi!"

Hisashi's grin wiped off his face. "That fool Kudou? The one who showed up at the last Bakugo dinner party on a motorcycle? The one with spiky dyed hair and tattoos? My cute little brother, with a punk who once got arrested at a protest? No, no, no!"

Izuku stopped moving. "Did I do something wrong?"

Hisashi said firmly, "Impossible, you're perfect in every way. Only spiky-haired people are to blame for the world's problems. Fear not, ducky, I'll handle this."

Kudou lingered at the school doors even after collecting Katsuki, hoping to see white hair.

But a different white-haired man arrived to pick up Izuku: one much taller, with harder eyes. Hisashi Midoriya stalked over. "Might I have a word away from the children?"

"Of course," Kudou said, eager to make a good impression on a possible future brother-in-law. He stepped behind a pillar.

But Hisashi's next words dashed all his hopes. Hisashi whispered, "You're far from the first shallow idiot to fall in love with my brother at first sight. You made him uncomfortable yesterday with your slavering. I came here on his behalf. Leave him alone from now on."

Then Hisashi stalked off, leaving Kudou to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

The next day, Katsuki approached Izuku during recess holding a stick with a knob at the end. "See this stick? It looks sorta like a sword. Do you want it?"

Recognizing the familiar language of playground favors, Izuku asked, "What do you want in exchange?"

Katsuki scuffed his shoe on the ground. "Uncle Kaiji has been moping around ever since your dad talked to him. He thinks your uncle hates him, but it didn't seem that way to me. Could you tell your uncle to talk to my uncle?"

Izuku said, "Sure! I would have done it for free."

"The sword stick is a bribe so you don't tell Uncle Kaiji that I helped him. I can't have him getting the wrong idea and thinking I like him." Katsuki shuddered in sincere horror at the thing that all Bakugos feared the most: showing a positive emotion.

Kudou supposed he needed to stop moping around his sister's house. Even though he didn't want to be alone (like how he'd be forever alone since his soulmate had rejected him.) He grabbed his helmet and headed outside, planning to ride on his motorcycle to take his mind off his heartbreak.

Yoichi stood on the doorstep. "Oh, good, I was just looking for you."

Kudou stepped backward. "Sorry, uh. I know you told me to stay away from you. I didn't expect you to be here."

"I never said that. My brother warned you off, didn't he?" Yoichi scowled. "Even though we're both adults, he's absurdly overprotective. And he was a weird grudge against spiky hair because of an elementary school bully. You haven't done anything wrong, and you don't need to avoid me. My stupid brother just assumes every single person I meet wants to ravish me."

It felt like the sun had come out after weeks of rain. Kudou could not keep the biggest smile off his face. He still had a chance! High on euphoria, he decided to seize the moment. "I mean, your brother wasn't entirely wrong. Though I was planning to ask you out for coffee. I'm not the kind of barbarian who skips straight to ravishing."

Slowly, Yoichi smiled back. "Shall I let you in on a secret?" He stood on his tiptoes and whispered, "I find people who my brother dislikes to be intensely attractive. And I'm free for coffee right now."

OMAKE TIME!

Yoichi: How delightful, a rare AU where my brother isn't a villain.

All for One: I'm secretly behind the new Captain Hero remake. I bribed the scriptwriter and producer to let the demon king win.

Yoichi: You're WORSE than a villain! Now I'll have to devote my entire life to stopping you again.

#

Katsuki: Izuku owes me a favor for matchmaking, my uncle owes me a favor, and my father owes me for helping him win a bet with Mom. She bet that Uncle Kaiji would die single.

Masaru: I never expected to win, I just felt so sorry for Kaiji that I bet in his favor.

#

All for One: I refuse to accept this spiky-head as my future brother-in-law.

Yoichi: Nothing you say can stop me.

All for One: He doesn't like Captain Hero.

Yoichi: …Is Third single in this universe?

Second: Wait! I've never actually seen Captain Hero but I'm sure I'd love it.

Yoichi: Great, we can watch all twenty-one seasons together.

Second: The things I do for love.

Author's Note: This is WhenSaturnFalls' prize in Three Weeks of Trioholders. Since you requested good dad All for One, I made it a no-quirks AU. Without quirks, there is no reason for Hisashi to become a villain, no reason for Yoichi to die, and no reason for Izuku to ever suffer from bullying. Instead we'll just have a romantic comedy! I borrowed this idea from one of JaneAliceRosewood's old Three Weeks of Trioholders prompts, finally seeing the light of day long after the contest is over.

FYI, Zyla_Sweetbean and I are launching our new science fiction BNHA collaboration over on Archive of Our Own called "How to Stop Fainting and Love Hu-mans." We have a chapter for every member of Class 1-A and we will be updating every day, so I may have less time to update fics over here on fanfiction dot not where, regrettably, they still don't have an option for posting collaborations.