Summary: Opening up.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and everyone have a Happy New Year!
Chapter 6
Severus approached Dumbledore's office and knocked on the door.
"Enter," he heard and opened it.
Closing it behind him, he turned and approached Dumbledore's desk.
"You asked to see me, Headmaster?"
"Yes, have a seat, Severus."
Severus settled into the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk and looked at the Headmaster.
"Severus, I want to ask you about your Housemates, especially the seventh-years."
Severus' eyebrows knit together. "I'm not sure what you want to know, Headmaster."
Albus examined him with a steady gaze. "I'm sure you already know they are being sought after by Tom Riddle. Are they all intending to join the Death Eaters?"
Severus frowned. "You want me to rat out my Housemates?"
"Maybe we could label it spying instead? This is a war, Severus. The more I know about what the other side is doing, the better prepared I can be."
"I understand, it's just that most of them trust me. I am not one to rat out my friends."
"But Severus, are they truly your friends? If they want to follow Tom, they are or will be willing to rat out anyone who is against him. I'm sure you've seen that from some of them already. Draco Malfoy for example."
"Can't you get your information some other way?" Severus ground out.
"I might, but I feel it's important to have someone on the inside."
"Like you do with the Dark Lord's own group."
"Yes."
"So, if I am to spy for you, do I get to find out who the other spy is?"
"At this time, no. His situation is precarious, and I do not want to jeopardize him in any way."
"Well, at least I know it is a man," Severus quipped snidely.
"In any case, what have you gleaned from your friends?" Dumbledore pressed.
"What if I refuse to tell you?"
Dumbledore sat back. "Severus, I can make my own assumptions, but I could use your help. You are part of the prophecy. Don't you intend to help fulfill it?"
Severus waved his hand in frustration. "Yes, of course I do. I'm committed to that, but this is too much to ask."
Dumbledore spoke quietly. "Severus, I need someone within the group. They will get information from Tom that even my spy may not be able to convey to me in time. And you can help me to know what they're doing here in the castle. You can be an invaluable asset, my boy."
Severus regarded Dumbledore carefully. What he said made sense, but it was difficult to accept that he would be spying on his Housemates.
Finally, he sighed in resignation. "I am uncertain where Zabini and Knott sit. They talk the talk but do not seem as invested as the other three. Draco is the leader and he pushes everyone to 'do the right thing' by promising to join the Death Eaters once we've graduated. He has intimated that we may need to join sooner as well. Crabbe and Goyle are their parents' children: somewhat ignorant and just followers. They spout rhetoric word for word from Malfoy's mouth. Despite that, I think they are probably the most dangerous because they have no ability to reason. They just do what they're told, and they have no conscience."
Dumbledore nodded and stroked his beard. "Why do you think Mr. Malfoy says you might have to join before the year is over?"
"He says that the Dark Lord is eager to move forward with his plan. If he does, he is going to want everyone to be a part of it."
"Do you know what his plan is?"
Severus shook his head. "I would assume your other spy could fill you in on that."
Albus put his hands down on the desk and moved in toward Severus.
"I want you to become good friends with Malfoy. Maybe he'll tell you what he knows. You are intelligent. He'll like having you in his corner and will tell the Dark Lord about you."
Severus became thoughtful. "Do you think that being scrutinized more closely by Voldemort and Draco might reveal to them, or anyone, that I am not who I say that I am?"
Dumbledore sat back and steepled his hands in front of him.
"It may, but I think we've flushed out your story well, and telling Malfoy that the Severus Snape from your time is your father makes sense. I'm not sure people will look for mysteries when there is a perfectly believable explanation. If you play this right, Severus, it will strengthen your story with the Death Eaters."
"Malfoy said he's not sure I am trustworthy because my supposed father ran instead of joining the cause."
Dumbledore gave a quick nod. "That makes sense, but here's your chance to gain his trust."
"What about the work I'm doing with Potter?"
"That can continue as normal. Explain to him what is going on so he doesn't get upset when he sees you hanging around Malfoy. He sometimes gets hot-headed."
Severus arched a brow at Dumbledore. "I'll keep that in mind."
With that, Dumbledore dismissed him. Severus immediately went to search out Draco Malfoy. At first, the idea of spying seemed incredibly off-putting, but then he thought of his desire when traveling to the future. He wanted to make a difference. Having an in with the Slytherins would definitely help them in the war effort.
He headed for the courtyard, as it was a beautiful Saturday and most students were gathered outside enjoying it in one way or another. As he emerged, he saw Draco sitting in one of the arches, leaning against a pillar, reading. He ambled over to his new best friend. Hopping up next to him, he looked over at Malfoy.
"What are you reading?" he asked.
Draco flashed the book cover at him.
"Potions Weekly? I didn't know you liked potions that much."
Draco shrugged. "I do well in it. It's interesting to combine things that don't seem combinable and create something that works."
Severus nodded. "That's one of the things I like about it too. There's also something peaceful about a simmering cauldron. With all the stress and crazy things that happen around here, it's nice to get lost in that."
Draco met his eyes. "I agree, although I don't know that I realized it until you put it into words just now."
Severus smirked. They discussed their favorite potions for a bit.
"We should study together," Draco said.
Severus internally arched a brow. That hadn't taken much.
"I think that would benefit both of us. We seem to be well matched in our abilities."
Draco nodded. He was distracted and a sneer came over his face as he looked into the center of the courtyard.
"Potter. He thinks he's so great because he's the 'Chosen One."
Severus glanced over at the trio, who had just come out into the courtyard and had settled on the ground. He sneered as well, hoping to be convincing.
"He struts about as if he owns the place," Severus ground out.
"Well, the Dark Lord will set him straight. I can't wait for that."
Severus nodded. "What's his plan?"
Draco shrugged. "He has kept it under wraps, but it will involve a quick death for Potter."
"Good. I can't wait to see that. Once he's gone, the Dark Lord can take over everything."
"That will be a glorious day."
"Definitely."
oooOOOooo
They were gathered in the Room of Requirement to practice fighting again. Severus had been the first to arrive, but the Golden Trio had come in soon after. He regarded them coolly.
"I want to let you know that Dumbledore has asked me to get closer to Draco Malfoy. He wants me to essentially spy on my housemates. I have agreed to do so. I wanted to let you know because I'm going to try to spend more time with him."
Harry's eyebrows drew together. "Sounds like something Dumbledore would ask. Are you sure you want to spy on your House?"
"As Dumbledore put it, they would turn on me in a second if they knew my true leanings. I would rather have the upper hand than not."
Ron came up to him and slapped him on the back. "Yep, you're a Slytherin."
Severus was annoyed until he saw that Ron was only joking.
"It'll be good to have someone reporting on what Voldemort is doing with you all," Harry said.
Severus nodded and motioned for them all to get into dueling stances. They began to duel with Severus, Hermione, and Ron all fighting one another at the same time. Harry watched for a bit and coached. After a while, he paired up with Severus and they dueled together. After a few minutes, Severus sent a spell that shot smoke into the air around Harry. Potter motioned for them to stop.
"That last spell, what was it?" he asked Severus.
"Fumos?"
"Yeah, I've never seen anything like it before."
"Really? We used to use it often back in my time."
Ron and Hermione had stopped and were listening to Severus. They wandered over to the other two.
"Can you teach it to all of us? It's a great spell to have in our arsenal," Harry asked.
Severus was surprised that Harry, first of all, admitted he didn't know a spell, but then was humble enough to ask how to cast it. Severus spent a few minutes explaining the movements for the spell, then cast it a couple of times so they all could see. He then watched them cast it.
"Yes, that's it. All of you are doing well. How about we use it in a duel with our partners? Don't cast it first. Surprise your opponent."
They dueled for a while, each one of them taking a turn casting against their opponent with the Fumos spell. After that, they broke for the day.
As Severus made his way through the castle down to his room, he mulled over Potter. After his conversation with Granger, he'd kept an open mind. He'd studied him in class, and he didn't seem to be pompous like his father had been. He supposed not being raised by James might have been good in a small way despite having to live in hell with Petunia and her family. He noted that Potter wasn't the head of the class, but he was no slouch either. He tended to not try to gain attention, doing his work but not looking for praise.
The couple of times they'd met to duel like today, he'd been helpful and encouraging and never tried to overshadow any of them despite being advanced in some things they had worked on. As the days passed, Severus recognized that Potter wasn't his father. It made his need to work with him much more palatable. He actually thought he could do it without killing the other man.
He smirked to himself. He was glad, though, that the more he got to know Potter, the less he saw James in him.
oooOOOooo
Severus had spent the week shadowing Malfoy and earning his trust. They were seen everywhere together. The two of them were currently walking together outside. Severus internally frowned as he saw the trio sitting outside studying. He knew Draco couldn't help attacking them either verbally or physically whenever he had the chance.
"Oy, Potter, what are you studying? Hopefully, it's how to cast spells because all you can do well is cast Expelliarmus!"
"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry retorted.
Severus felt he needed to say something so Draco wouldn't question him about his stance.
"Yes, we've all seen how weak you are in Defense, Potter. It's ridiculous that you think you can beat the Dark Lord," he drawled.
Draco smirked, but it looked more like a sneer.
"What about you, Mudblood?" Draco sneered.
Severus flinched but didn't come to her aid.
Hermione stood up and aimed her wand at Malfoy.
"Now, now," Severus said. "Surely, you know your place in our society, Granger. You are the lowest of the low. Sit down and put your wand away."
Hermione looked at him in shock and lowered her wand slightly.
"That's it, Mudblood. Do what your superiors say," Draco crooned.
At that point, Ron sprung up and had his wand at Malfoy's neck. In an instant, Severus' wand pointed at Weasley's neck as well.
"I suggest we all back away from one another before someone gets hurt," his deep baritone voice advised.
Everyone lowered their wands. Severus regarded the trio with disdain.
"Come along, Draco. They're not worth our time. Besides, the Dark Lord will be taking care of all of them soon enough."
"Good point, Severus. I can't wait for that."
They glared at the three before turning and departing.
"You did well, Snape. I was wondering if you had the balls enough to say anything to them."
"You think I'm weak?"
"No, not really. I just want to make sure you're Death Eater material, and that was a good example of you being so."
Severus nodded.
"The Dark Lord is having a gathering, and he wanted me to invite anyone who would be interested in joining the cause. Would you like to go with us? As of now, all our seventh-year Housemates are attending."
Severus bowed his head slightly. "I would be honored. I am eager to meet the Dark Lord and learn more about him."
"It's a week from Saturday. Meet at the gates at seven pm."
"I'll be there."
As they walked away, Severus thought it was ironic that he was right back in the same place he was when he'd escaped his time, yet, this was totally different.
oooOOOooo
Severus entered the Room of Requirement to find the trio glaring at him. He put his hands up in surrender.
"I apologize. I had to do it."
Potter got up and stormed up to him. "You had to do it? Are you mad?"
Hermione rose as well, glaring at him. She stalked up to him and had her wand in his face in seconds. "You had to be foul to all of us?"
He slowly reached out and placed his hand on her wand, lowering it slightly. "If you'll give me a chance, I will explain."
Hermione's face changed. Instead of anger, she looked stricken. She lowered her wand down to her side, but she continued to look at him as if he'd destroyed her. "We thought you were our friend, Severus Snape. How could you behave that way to us?"
The look she gave him made him cringe inwardly. Her hurt was more unbearable than the anger of the other two. He moved up to her and looked her in the eye, hoping she'd see his sincerity.
"I'm sorry. What I said was horrible, especially to you. You have to know I meant none of it."
"It certainly sounded like you meant all of it," she huffed before looking away from him.
"Why, Snape?" Weasley ground out. "We thought you were on our side."
"I am!" he retorted. "You don't understand. I told you last week that Dumbledore told me to become close to Malfoy and report back to him. I needed to make him feel I was an ally."
"Dumbledore told you to act like an arse to us?" Potter derided.
"No, of course not," Severus snorted. "But had I just stood there silently, Malfoy would have questioned my allegiance."
Hermione and Weasley had relaxed, but Potter looked just as angry.
"You didn't have to say what you did!"
Hermione put her hand on Potter's arm. "No, Harry, now that he's explained himself, it makes sense. He did need to say all of it. Malfoy would never believe he was one of them if he didn't tear us apart."
Potter took a couple of deep breaths and calmed down. He turned away from Severus and sighed.
"After that scene, we debated whether we should have told you anything. Merlín, Severus, if you went against us… we'd surely be dead."
"You forget, Potter, I am part of that prophecy too. If I were to say anything to the Dark Lord about it, my life would be just as forfeit as yours."
Weasley came up to him and searched his face. "Why are you really doing this? Is it just to save your hide?"
Severus stiffened and glowered at Weasley.
"Of course not, you dunderhead. You all know I was best friends with Potter's mother at one point. I cannot be on the side of a man who exterminated my best friend. Nor do I agree with what he has done since I left my time." He turned from the three of them and frowned. "I wasn't sure about him then, but seeing how he is now… I could not conscionably follow such a man."
He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to find Hermione there behind him.
"It must be hard realizing someone you admired before is so evil."
He pulled his shoulder from her grasp.
"You understand nothing!" he snarled.
Hermione frowned. "Then tell us! We're here for you. We are supposed to work together. If we don't know how you feel about anything, how can we support you, and how can you learn to trust us?"
He turned and glared at them. As he looked at each one of them, they stared at him with openness and a willingness to listen. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten such a reaction from anyone. Not since his friendship with Lily had dissolved.
Something within him told him to trust these three. It was so foreign to him, though. He'd not trusted anyone in so long, but these Gryffindors had stirred something within him. He wanted to trust someone. He wanted to have some close friends. Merlín, that was why he'd come here. But he'd held back, afraid to open up. Afraid that if he trusted, he would be disappointed once again because no one ever was truly his friend.
He looked to the ground and mulled over what Hermione had said. Within him, there was a tiny bit of non-cynicism, the rest of him was screaming for him to just stalk out of the room and let them stew. But his more positive part nudged him strongly—assuring him it would be okay.
He sighed and looked up at them all.
"All right," he muttered and motioned for everyone to sit on the cushions.
They all settled in. He looked at all of them with almost a glare. He saw Hermione raise an eyebrow at him, causing him to look at the floor again.
"Aside from your mother, Potter, the friends I had were all out for themselves. I could never truly trust any of them. My family… they were untrustworthy as well, so I learned to keep everything in. I don't share my feelings or deepest thoughts with anyone. I can't let myself be that vulnerable."
"That was actually a very vulnerable statement, Severus," Hermione said. "Thank you for telling us that."
Weasley sighed. "I haven't had experiences like that, but with my family, I've learned to keep things close too. Anything said to any one of them becomes the news of the day. It's rather annoying."
Harry looked over at Ron and nodded. "I really didn't have anyone I could trust before I got to Hogwarts. My Aunt and Uncle were horrid, and my cousin Dudley was nothing but a bully. It's hard for me to talk about certain things to this day because of that, but thankfully I met Ron and Hermione. They helped me to be able to express myself better."
Severus looked at Potter. The last thing he had ever expected was to have a life similar to his enemy's son. It was eerie and comforting all at the same time.
"I am an only child," Hermione began. "My parents were my confidants growing up. Most kids thought I was weird. Coming here, I thought it would be different, but most people still think I'm weird." She shrugged.
"Thankfully," she continued, "I found these two early on in my first year. Granted, they thought I was odd for a bit too."
The boys colored at her revelation.
"Over the years I've found a couple of other people who I'm close to, but aside from them, I don't have any close friends."
"We all seem to have that in common," Severus suggested.
"Except we have each other, Severus," Hermione said.
"And that includes you," Potter chimed in.
"Definitely," Weasley agreed.
Severus looked into all of their faces and saw sincerity and determination to convince him he was welcome. A lump formed in his throat as he studied them all. This would be no friendship of convenience if he were to accept it. It would be true friendship… the kind he'd yearned for years to attain.
"I am unsure why you all want to have this type of closeness with me. I mean, I understand we need to work together, but… Slytherins don't do things like this. They don't have to be close to people to work with them."
"Well, we don't either, Severus," Hermione broke in. "But we want to be close to you. We recognize a kindred spirit in you."
Severus stared at her for a long time.
"Mate, she's telling the truth," Ron affirmed. "That's part of the reason we were so hacked off when you treated us the way you did, and we didn't know it was an act."
Severus' eyes moved to Ron, then back to Hermione.
"I don't understand any of this."
"It's called real friendship," Harry said.
"But we hardly know one another!" Severus ground out.
"We know you enough to know that you're someone we want to be friends with," Ron told him.
Severus huffed. "Fine. I accept your friendship, despite thinking you're all mad for wanting to be friends with me at this juncture."
The others nodded. He eyed each one of them before continuing. He cleared his throat.
"I wanted to follow the Dark Lord because of what I said about my upbringing and previous friends."
He stopped and stared at the floor for a bit, wondering just how in-depth he should go. If these three were to be his friends, perhaps he could continue this vulnerable conversation and not be damaged by it.
Perhaps…
In the silence, he made his decision. He didn't look up from the floor as he continued.
"I've always wanted to be accepted. As I said earlier, my parents were too engrossed in their horrid relationship to show me much love. My only true friend was Lily, and I did something horrid and ruined that. My other friends were not really accepting of me. I was just an annoyance most of the time unless they needed something."
His eyes finally came up, and he looked at the three of them, making eye contact with each of them for a little bit before moving on to the next of them. His eyes finally settled on Harry's.
"I never felt accepted. Not truly. Malfoy's father was a mentor for me in my younger years, and he always talked up the Dark Lord and his organization. He recognized my desire to be accepted and urged me to think about joining. My Housemates of course were all on board, so I learned a lot about his organization. All wonderful things. He made sure that I knew I could be respected and have power if I followed the Death Eaters. It seemed rather heavenly to a young boy at the time. But as I grew older, I had questions that weren't able to be fully answered. There were things that were left unsaid that seemed… wrong. I still wanted to join, but I became somewhat disillusioned and realized that if I did join, it was something I could never release myself from. I will say that when I left, though, I had no idea how diabolical the Dark Lord was. I would assume the rhetoric from everyone was set up to get us to accept, then we'd find out the reality of the organization."
Harry nodded. "That's what we've heard about how he recruited back in your day."
Severus looked off at the dueling dummy in the corner. "If I had joined… and he killed your mother… I don't know how I would have gone on, or how I would have continued as a member of that group."
"You were smart to leave when you did," Ron remarked. "And we're a thousand times better than those evil Death Eaters."
Severus smirked at Ron. "At least you're not out to destroy the world," he snarked.
"No, not yet," Harry said.
They all had a good laugh at that.