Editors Note: I'll just get right past all the introductions and all that stuff and get right into the teams.
Also, Bold means its a confessional, and Italics is Editors Note
Chris: Ok, our first team are as follows: Gwen, Trent, Justin, Lindsay, Heather, Beth, Eva, Noah, LeShawna, Katie and Sadie are now the Screaming Gophers.
Editors Note: I hate Katie and Sadie, so I want to write as little lines for them as possible. But aside from my bias, I think (and really hope so) that we can all agree that separating them for like 10 minutes was stupid and used to fill the 22 minute time slot. And I'll take this opportunity to mention that I was going to do a video about the changes I'd make to TDIMW now in 2023 but I'll do it here and make a summary of it in a YT Video
With the rest of you: Courtney, Bridgette, Geoff, Harold, Duncan, DJ, Cody, Owen, Tyler, Izzy, and Ezekiel, you are now the Killer Bass.
Courtney: So quick recap, I have Wannabe Jock, Party Guy, Nerdling, Juvie Punk, Surfer Girl, Tiny Geek, Farm Boy, Psycho Girl, Sir-Eats-a-Lot, and... actually I have nothing insulting to call DJ.
Editors Note: I'm going to skip to the challenge and next episode because nothing interesting happens until then and also it's only the first part of the challenge (The Jumping Part)
Chris: Ok, Killer Bass up first
Duncan: Well, I ain't no chicken, one side I'm first (Jumps off the cliff with his arms crossed and a blank expression like he Saitama)
Bridgette: Wow, that Duncan guy has guts, I'm next! (Jumps down face first like it's a diving board)
Geoff: I wanted to impress Bridgette, so I decided to go headfirst and jump. (Gulps) Hey if I die, give my hat back to my brother, K?
Geoff: (Jumps woo hooing all the way down)
Tyler: WOO! I'm Next! (Jumps off, hits his ribs on that metal thing, then slowly falls in the water and bubbles slowly rise up and pop after he fully falls in)
DJ: Yeah... I'm not jumping
Chris: it's ok Big Guy, but unfortunately, you are a chicken!
Harold: Yes! Yeah! (Jumps while screaming happily then hits his nuts)
LeShawna: That white boy got some guts!
Chris: Who's next?
Ezekiel: Me! I'm not weak like that girly boy DJ.
DJ: I'm not weak!
Courtney: What kind of boy did you say he was?!
Ezekiel: (Ignores them both and jumps off and has that funny ass accident from the actual episode)
Izzy: (Jumps off without a word and screams like a maniac)
Cody: (High Fives Owen and Jumps)
Owen: I've got this! (Jumps) I don't got this! I'm gonna die!!!
Duncan: Well, Owen's dead, 20 more campers left and I get the million, I'd feel a bit more sad if I knew the guy for longer
Editors Note: I decided that the change from 100,000 to 1,000,000 was not really needed and 100,000 was a random amount anyway so let's say it was always 1M and move on
Chris: Courtney, if you jump, only one of the Screaming Gophers will have to refuse for you to get into a tie breaker, if not, you could cost your team the challenge, and you could be a potential target.
Courtney: Fine by me, I don't think Pretty Boy and Bookworm will jump, they look too scared
Duncan: Damn, Courtney keeps it straight, she's cooler than I thought
Editors Note: Duncan has so many confessionals because A. He's my favorite character, so it's easier to write his lines. And B. I searched it up and Duncan, WHO MADE IT TO THE FINAL FOUR IN THE ACTUAL SHOW, had his first confessional at EPISODE 9, and it was him being a perv for Courtney (actually when I think about it, most of his confessionals in Island and Action are him being a simp or perv for Courtney) I get Duncan speaks his mind out in the non-Confessional moments but, when you make a character like Duncan so major, at least give him more time in the one thing that lets us know what's going on in the heads of those involved with drama, WHICH HE IS IN 90% OF THE TIME WHEN HE COMPETES. I think the writers realized this and used Duncan in the confessionals HEAVILY in the merge, damn I really lost track of what this was
Chris: Ok so that's 9 jumpers and 2 chickens. Screaming Gophers, you're up
Heather: there's no way I'm doing this, sorry.
Beth: Why not?
Heather: I'll get my hair wet, we're on international TV
Lindsay: If she's not doing it I'm not doing it.
LeShawna: You're doing it.
Heather: Says who?!
LeShawna: Says me, I'm not losing this cuz you got your hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl.
Heather: Back off, Ghetto-Glamour-Too-Tight-Pants-Wearing-Rap-Star-Wannabe!
LeShawna: Mall-Shopping-Ponytail-Wearing-Teen-Girl-Reading-Peeking-at-High-School-Prom-Queen!
Heather: Well at least I'm popular.
Editors Note: (y'all are probably tired of this by now) it took me so long to realize everyone who heard that had that shocked befuddled ass reaction because that was meant to be a racist joke (even though both Asians and Blacks get discrimination) and I did research cuz I was curious, Heather is Asian. And I'll also say this now because I forgot to earlier, I made Ezekiel's sexism more apparent because that was bullshitted out of nowhere just to keep Courtney in.
LeShawna: (Picks up Heather and throws her off the cliff)
Heather: (Lands) LeShawna, you are so dead!
LeShawna: Hey! You landed safe right?! Now I hope I can do it too
The rest of the challenge goes as follows:
Lindsay: Jumps
Gwen: Jumps
Trent: Jumps
Beth: Refuses
Noah: Jumps (and we actually see it)
Justin: Jumps
Eva: Jumps
Katie and Sadie: Jump
Chris: that's 10 Jumpers and 1 Chicken. The Screaming Gophers win!
In the Main Lodge...
Tyler: So... what now?
Courtney: We need to figure out who to vote off
Duncan: Well, since we haven't figured out a big target, I'm going with Princess or the Brickhouse.
DJ: What dude?
Courtney: Why me?!
Duncan: Nothing personal, y'all seem cool, but if I'm not wrong, you're the only ones here with Chicken Hats
DJ: Did you see what happened to Tyler?!
Geoff: Yeah actually, are you okay dude?
Tyler: Yeah I'm good, I've got a strong body
Ezekiel: I don't understand how we lost to begin with, they have 8 girls and we have 3
The rest of the Bass: (Looks in shock or gasps)
Bridgette: What's that supposed to mean?
Ezekiel: Well guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls are.
Izzy (Grabs his neck and slams his upper body against the table)
Courtney: (Grabs his right arm and twists it into a position on the verge of the bone breaking)
Bridgette: (Grabs his head, picks it up and slams it back on the table, knocking a tooth out)
Geoff: Damn, Bridgette is cool, I'm kinda scared
Duncan: Well, Malibu Girl is cooler than expected.
Geoff: Guys chill, at least he doesn't think guys are smarter than girls
Ezekiel: But they are.
At the Campfire Ceremony...
Chris: (Explains the Marshmallow Ceremony Process) Marshmallows go to...
Bridgette...
DJ...
Izzy...
Geoff...
Tyler...
Owen...
Cody...
Harold...
And the second to last marshmallow goes to... Duncan
Courtney, Ezekiel... this is the last marshmallow of the night... and it goes to...
Courtney.
Ezekiel you're out man.
Votes: 8-2-1, Ezekiel, Courtney and Duncan
Ezekiel: Courtney, Bridgette, Izzy, Duncan, Geoff, Tyler, Cody, and Owen
Courtney: Ezekiel and DJ
Duncan: Harold