I Need A Man That…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling.

'I need a man that can… ' Hermione said hopefully before Ginny interrupted her.

'Oi what about Ron?' Ginny snarked.

'Gin you know Ron will never be able to satisfy Miya.' Luna said dreamily. 'She needs a man that respects her, allows her to grow.'

'Oi, my brother respects her.' Ginny whined.

'Um, no he doesn't. He expects me to … let's see. Do his homework, cook, clean, pop out a shite ton of babies and work.' Hermione huffed.

'No, he doesn't.' Ginny huffed.

'Ginny are you that blind? He is happy to let me work while he waits to get picked up by some team, the only reason he works at 3W's is so he has pocket money to buy his food while he is away from home.'

'He needs time to practice.' Ginny huffed.

'Do you really believe he is good enough to make teams?' Hermione snarled and Ginny shrugged. 'I need a man to love me.'

'He does.' Ginny sniped.

'Get your head out of your arse if you believe that.' Hermione yelled. 'If he really loved me, he wouldn't run to Lavender.' looking to see the surprised look on Ginny's face. 'What you really didn't know or you didn't realize I knew? And he is also doing Millicent, I need a man to stay faithful to me.'

'Well, if you would stop stringing him along, he would.' Ginny smirked.

'Ginevra Weasley are you seriously telling me Ron will keep his bits in his pants if I married him? You are dumber than I thought.' Hermione snarled the last part.

'Oi, we are supposed to be having a fun girls night in. Deep down Ginny you know Ron and Hermione are not a proper match.' Luna stated matter of factly. 'So do you really think Ron truly loves Hermione?'

'No, I guess not. I guess I just wanted Hermione to be my sister.' Ginny whined.

'I am your sister just not by marriage.'

'Hey, I found these.' holding up three crystal goblets. 'We can call our men to us.' Luna grinned as she sat down and passed paper and quills to the other two. 'So, what else do we want in a man?' Luna asked trying to get back to the fun.

'I don't need to do this I have Harry.' Ginny quipped as she pushed the papers and goblet away.

'Are you sure?' Luna asked as Ginny nodded.

'Smart,' both girls wrote it down.

'Faithful, respects me, encourages me to better myself. Loves me for me and not for my money or golden girl status. What else?' They wrote down each trait they wanted.

'Oh fit, very fit.' Ginny laughed.

'That would make shagging better.' Luna grinned. 'And to be good in bed,' they all giggled. 'Anymore?' Hermione shook her head, as Luna tore the papers into stripes with each trait on it and dropped them into a crystal goblet. 'Now spit your drink in here and repeat after me. Men need to be …' as Luna listed off everything they could wish for the perfect man as she also poured some butterbeer into the goblets. 'Now drink.'

'Drink?' as Hermione looked into the goblet of muddy butterbeer. 'I want the perfect mate for me.' as they gulped the last of the drinks down. Not three minutes later they all heard a pop of apparition.

'What was that?' Ginny giggled, as Luna went to go look out the window.

'Well Harry is out there talking to someone.' Luna reported back to the girls.

'Oh well he's home early. Is Ron too drunk to find the door again?' Ginny asked, as the front door fell open.

'Oi you lot order two prats?' Harry asked as he let the visitors in.

'No, why?' Hermione asked back.

'Well, we were just standing at the bar and then poof, we were here.' The first man spoke from behind the wall.

'Yea, I was enjoying the game.' said the other.

'But what are you doing here, weren't you and Ron watching the game? Where is he?' Hermione asked.

'Um, well…' Harry stuttered.

'Just spit it out there Potter, Weaslby left the bar with what's her name… Lavender.' snarled the second man spoke as he came around the corner. Hermione's eyebrow went up as she looked at Ginny.

'Oh, Draco? What are you doing here?' as the second man came around as well. 'Theo? What is going on?' as Hermione looked between the men. 'I didn't think you were friendly.' as she pointed between the three.

'Well Potter and I get along well enough it's just Weaslby is the stick in the mud.' Draco grinned.

'Hermione, I think our spell worked.' Luna said dreamily.

'Luna, I don't think so they just happen to come over at the right time.'

'Um, we didn't decide to leave yet we had just started to get into the game, so not our choice. You Potter?' Theo spoke up.

'Um no I wasn't ready to leave yet either, so what have you three been doing?' Harry's eyebrow shot up, as Luna explained what they had been up to.

'I didn't do anything I have the perfect man.' Ginny giggled.

'Well, they all meet the criteria.' Luna said as she looked over the men.

'Oi, that one's mine.' as Ginny tried to get up to grab Harry. But being a little tipsy she fell out of the chair. Harry helped Ginny back into the chair.

'Someone please tell us what in merlins has been going on here.' Harry said as he got drinks for Draco and Theo. Luna started to explain everything again.

'So, Theo, Harry and I are your matches?' Draco questioned.

'So, who gets two?' Luna gazed between the three guys. 'I kinda of feel a pull to Theo, so Draco and Harry must be yours Miya.'

'Oh, I feel the pull too.' Hermione grinned.

'But you and Weasel?' Draco grinned.

'Well as you saw he is more interested in Lavender and Millicent, than being faithful to me… So… Are you two single?' getting nods from both Draco and Theo. 'But Harry, I know you and Ginny are…'

'Um, like you I would prefer not to be cheated on either.' as he looked to Ginny. 'I know about Dean and the Spanish quidditch coach.' Ginny started to shake her head.

'I didn't…' Ginny whined. 'Kara lied, she was trying to get me in trouble.'

'Stop Ginny, I saw you. I came to surprise you and I found you riding the coach in the bleachers after the game.' Harry frowned. 'Hermione if you want to choose me, I'm ok with it.' Ginny went over to the bar for some firewhiskey.

'But Harry, I love you.' Ginny whined and downed another glass.

'No, you love my money. I would love to stay friends but if Hermione wants me, she gets me.' Harry said as he looked over to Hermione.

'But two of you … I don't think I could choose you both have great qualities. I wouldn't be able to…'

'Well, I could share, Harry do you think you could share her?' Draco asked. 'I get even nights, you get odd nights and we share her every third night?' Draco said as he looked at Harry.

'I could live with that. I don't think the spell would bring both of us if it didn't think she could handle it.' Harry said with a grin.

'She has enough magic for two powerful wizards.' Draco smirked. 'Oh, we could put her on a spit and enjoy the hell out of her.'

'Spit?' Harry questioned.

'Hermione, please?' as Draco pulled her in between them. 'Harry, would you mind lifting our princess up? Princess, would you put your legs around Harry's waist, he moved Harry's hands to her arse. 'Now lean back princess.' as he caught her shoulders, her face right in his crotch.

'Oh.' They all gasped.

'This could be fun.' Draco grinned.

'Oh merlins.' Harry almost dropped Hermione.

'You slut.' Ginny snarled.

'You're just jealous it's not you or your idea.' Draco grinned at the look on Ginny's face.

'I hate you all.' as she slumped into the nearest chair.

'Yes, princess I think we could all enjoy this relationship.' Draco helped Hermione get back onto her feet.

'Um, well… Do you really think we could? Because I really don't think I could decide. Harry, you're my best friend. Draco you have become a dear friend.'

'I can share.' Draco professed.

'I can too.' Harry added as the floo lit up and Ron stepped out.

'There you are… we…' Ron noticed the company. 'I came back from the loo and couldn't find you lot. And why is Ginny crying?'

'I know Ron so don't try to deny it you and Lavender came back in after shagging in the alley behind the bar.' Hermione snarled. Ron hung his head. 'Oh, don't look sorry now. Ginny is crying because she too got caught cheating.'

'We did a find the perfect mate charm, Ron.' Luna explained what was going on. 'Theo is mine and Draco and Harry are …'

'What you got matched to that?' pointing to Draco. 'But he's a death eater and Harry is my best mate and Ginny's boyfriend.' He said indigently. 'And what about me?' he whined.

'What about you? You cheated on her.' Draco snarled.

'Stay out of it ferret. Her-mi-o-nee I love you.' He whined the last.

'Ron if you loved me, you wouldn't have cheated on me. I'm sure Harry and Draco will never walk out on me.' Draco's eyebrow went up and Harry nodded a not now look to his face. 'And both of them know what I'm capable of if they cheat on me.

'Ron, Ginny cheated on me too… we…' Harry looked over to Hermione, getting a nod. 'Don't like feeling that we're not good enough for you two. So not leaving you, Miya, if you'll have me.' Harry grinned.

'Not gonna even think about cheating on you.' Draco said as he grabbed his jaw remembering the punch in the 3rd year. I... we have the smartest, sexiest witch around. I'm not a stupid git, I will bend over backwards to please you.