(Episode opens up in a TV in the dining room of the Hirano house. On the TV, there is a commercial which is on the stage. A kid is featured.)
Kid: (off-key) I met my love in a - (gets hit by a huge boxing glove) OW!
Phil: Oh, boy! Did that kid stink or what? But maybe YOU'VE got what it takes to be: The Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star! Auditions open today at the Googolplex Mall in beautiful downtown Danville.
(Zooms out to the dining room while he's speaking.)
Stacy: Auditions! Today?!
Phil: Yes, today! At two o'clock sharp.
Stacy: (Grabs the TV and kisses it) I gotta tell Candace! (Runs, bringing the TV with her and trips over an unconscious Nazuna Hiwatashi)
(scene cuts to McCloud Co-op in Quadratum)
Sora: Sigh… That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck with a dead end job.
Michiru: Yeah… Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.
Krystal: Well, what you're talking about is a one-hit wonder.
Sora: One-hit wonder? What's that?
Krystal: Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics...
(Flashes back to a time when Linda was known as a singer named Lindana.)
(Song: "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!")
Singers: She's Lindana!
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! l
Singers: She wants to have fun
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun!
Singers: She's Lindana
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun!
Singers: She wants to have fun
Lindana: I wanna, wanna, wanna have
Singers and Lindana: Fun fun fun!
(In the middle of the song:)
Krystal: (voiceover) Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then fade to obscurity. Before they know it, their song ends up as: elevator music. Years later, they have a reunion concert... (Cuts back to her in the dining room upset.) And after that, they never sing again. And no one... remembers them. (stares off into space, but quickly turns back to Sora, Riku and Michiru) Not that I would know anything about that.
Sora: (writing) A one-hit wonder... (Shows checklist, listing in order: Hit record, Diva tantrum, Elevator music, Reunion tour) Guys, I know what we're gonna do today.
(Riku strums a guitar.)
(Nazuna's flashback)
Boris: Miss Desse Louvre…
Nazuna: Boris…
Boris: Please try to forgive me. Alan told me to do all of it. You see, we beastmen cannot disobey the orders from Sylvasta. But this means that you and I are finally free! Let's go together!
Nazuna: There's no way I would go anywhere with you! I want you to stay out of my life from now on!
Boris: You are mine, Desse Louvre! You are mine forever!
Nazuna: Let go of me!
Boris: Come with me, Desse Louvre!
Nazuna: My name isn't Desse Louvre. My name is… NAZUNA!
(Nazuna punches Boris with Gorilla Arms, launching him into a pile a rubble)
Nazuna: You're seriously creepy.
(Nazuna gasps and notices a Nyrvasil Syndrome-succumbed Boris)
Boris: Desse Louvre… YOU'RE MINE!
Nazuna: I don't have time for this!
(Nazuna wakes up in Stacy's room)
Stacy: Oh, good. You're awake.
Nazuna: Who are you?
Stacy: I'm Stacy. Nice to meet you, Nazuna.
Nazuna: How do you know my name?
Stacy: It's a long story. It turns out that in this world, you're from a TV show called "BNA".
Nazuna: What?
Stacy: And there's a singing contest in town.
Nazuna: So, what am I going to sing?
Stacy: Hello, what are you gonna wear?
Nazuna: Hmmm... (In a montage, it cuts to her wearing a blue gown.) What do you think?
Stacy: Too much. (Nazuna wears a bikini; now offscreen.) Too little. (Nazuna wears a pinafore.) Ugh, too clean. (Nazuna wears torn cords and a hippie t-shirt.) Too dirty. (Nazuna wears a street clothing.) Too street. (Nazuna wears a goth suit.) Too goth. Where'd you get that?
(Nazuna wears Krystal's old tribal outfit.)
Nazuna: (wearing Krystal's old tribal outfit) I found it. You like it?
Stacy: Nah, too sexy.
(Nazuna tries more other outfits: a construction uniform, indian clothes, cowgirl duds, biking clothes, a sailor suit, a gorilla costume, a spacesuit, a clown costume, and finally ends up with her trademark clothing.)
Stacy: Perfect!
Nazuna: Nice, huh?
Stacy: Yeah, you should've tried that on first.
Nazuna: Let's go!
(scene cuts to McCloud Co-op; Sora is on the floor writing.)
Sora: "Chika, chika, choo...wah". Meaningless lyrics covered. (To Riku) How's the new catchy tune coming along?
Riku: Watch. (Riku presses a key on the computer keyboard, producing a piano sound in the key of D.)
Sora: Excellent! We'll be done by lunch! Hey, where'd Perry go?
(In the bathroom, Perry flushes himself in the toilet and then swims over his headquarters.)
(In Agent P's liar...)
Major Monogram: Hello? Hello-oo? Anybody there? (Perry crashes down, full of water) Oh, good morning Agent P. We just received word that Alan Sylvasta has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate. We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
(Perry salutes and leaves with his scooter, and stops at the red light. Linda's car stops beside him, and she glances; then when she realized it, Perry puts a pair of Groucho glasses on and Linda just shrugs. The green light then appears and he zooms away.)
(Perry)!
(At the mall)
Linda: We'll meet back in the entrance in an hour.
(Inside...)
Nazuna: Come on, Stacy! We gotta hurry so we could get a spot in li - yayaya. (realized the line's too long) I've never sang in front of so many people!
Stacy: Uh, Nazuna? (shows her a LOT more people in the audience)
Nazuna: (gasps) I can't do this.
Stacy: Oh yes, you can! You're not a quitter; you're a fighter!
Nazuna: I am?
Stacy: Sure you are! You're a lean, mean, singing machine! (Nazuna growls and punches the purse as in boxing.) That's it, yeah! Now you're looking like a winner!
(Nazuna launches the purse with Gorilla arms and looks like a worn out tiger and drools. Jeremy walks by.)
Jeremy: Hey, Stacy. Who's this friend of yours?
Nazuna: (arranges herself) And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food. Oh! Hi, uhhhh…
Stacy: That's Jeremy.
Nazuna: Right, Jeremy. Are you auditioning too?
Jeremy: Nah. I came to see this hot new band called SBT. I downloaded their song this morning. It's tight! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band!
Nazuna: Really? (She walks through the entrance and becomes the 100th contestant.)
Jeremy: Hey, looks like that's you.
Phil: Congratulations! You're the hundredth contestant! (Pulls her away and puts her onstage; over speaker) Ladies and gentlemen, this young fox has the honor of singing onstage with SBT. So now, the band you've been waiting for: Sora and the Beast-Tones!
(Sora, Riku and Michiru are revealed.)
(Song: "Gitchee Gitchee Goo")
Nazuna: Michiru?!
Michiru: Nazuna?! Thank goodness you survived!
Sora: Nazuna? You're the hundredth contestant? How serendipitous. This'll be like a brother and sister thing! Now I'm assuming you've heard our hit single. I mean, who hasn't, right? It's a big hit. (gives her sheet music) So here's the words; don't worry if you get lost. The lyrics are meaningless anyway. I'll point when it's your turn. (He steps forward as Nazuna stares.) Ladies and gentlemen, the Beastettes! I'm Sora and that's Riku, and we're gonna sing a song!
Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!
Beastettes: That's what my baby says!
Sora: Mow-mow-mow!
Beastettes: And my heart starts pumping!
Sora: Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah!
Sora/Beastettes: Never gonna stop!
All: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!
Sora: I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!
Beastettes: That's what my baby says!
Sora: Mow-mow-mow!
Beastettes: And my heart starts pumping!
Sora: Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah!
Beastettes: Never gonna stop!
All: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!
Sora: I said a Bow, Chika, Bow-Wow! (The music abruptly stops.) Nazuna!
(Nazuna looks at her music before noticing Marcus McCloud shouting.)
Marcus: Wait a minute! What are guys you doing?
Sora: I'm cuing Michiru's friend?
Marcus: How'd you get a hit single?!
Sora: Well, it wasn't easy. It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls. But if you're willing to put in the work-
Marcus: That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom!
Sora: Okay...tell her what?
Marcus: (pauses) Ooh, I'm just gonna tell. (He walks away from the stage)
Nazuna: Who was that?
Sora: Oh, that's just my friend, Marcus.
Sora/Beastettes/Nazuna: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!
(Krystal is in a store.)
Marcus: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom, you've gotta see this!
Krystal: (with disdain) Let me guess. Is it unbelieva- (Marcus pushes her) WOOAH!
Marcus: Come on, come on, come on!
(Backstage...)
Nazuna: Nice to meet you, uhh…
Sora: I'm Sora.
Riku: I'm Riku. Nice to meet you, Nazuna.
Ben Baxter: Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records. Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.
Sora: Future? Cool. He must be a psychic.
(Back to Marcus and Krystal.)
Marcus: Come on, come on, come on! (They arrive at the stage; she presents a shadow that appears to be Sora and Riku's heads.) See?! There they are onstage!
Phil: (voiceover) Ladies and gentlemen, once again... (Spotlight lights up to reveal:) Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender!
(Marty the Rabbit Boy performs, playing his blender to The Blue Danube Waltz.)
Krystal: That's it! We're getting you an eye exam. (pulls him away)
Marcus: No, no! Wait!
(Agent P is still driving)
Perry!
Sylvasta Evil Inc.!
Alan: Ha ha, everything is ready! (doorbell rings) Oh, what is it now? (opens the door and saw the disguised Perry) Oh, are you my new temp? Well, let me just get you up to speed. I know it's bit of a mess. I'm just putting the finishing touches of my latest maniacal plan. You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire... (holds a magnifying glass on the eastern coast of the U.S.) ...Tri-State Area! And Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser. (Perry removes the Groucho glasses) Perry the Platypus? You're a temp? Are times that hard?
(Marcus exits the mall wearing glasses.)
Marcus: Ugh! I told Mom I don't need glasses! (takes off glasses) What the- (An SBT bus drives away.) Uh, No! No! Wait! Awwww... (Marcus stops. He turns around, notices a SBT poster on a building and smiles) MMMMMOOOOM?! (He runs back inside.)
(Camera pans from the building to...)
Sylvasta Evil Incor-
Alan: Sorry, Perry the Platypus, but you are too late!
(pushes a lever that makes the building alive as a robot)
(Krystal is still in a store.)
Krystal: (wearing a jacket) Ooh, this one's nice.
Marcus: Mom! Come here! You've gotta see this!
(She drags her out, setting off the shoplifting alarm.)
Krystal: Marcus! I haven't payed for this yet!
Guard: Hey!
(The giant building robot wreaks havoc over Danville.)
Alan: Ha ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me! (Perry removes a metal cover of a storage) Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that! (Perry removes a wire) Hey, hey, no fair!
(The robot almost steps over the building, but turns around.)
(The SBT bus passes by the building after the robot leaves.)
Nazuna: (from inside) Wow, what a great painting! (Cuts to her with Sora, Riku and Michiru in the bus.) How did you get permission for that?
Sora: Oh, they didn't mind. The building's scheduled for demolition.
(A man presses the lever of a dynamite block. The building gets demolished, along with the poster, just as Marcus drags his mom out.)
Marcus: Seeeeeee?! (Krystal does not answer. Marcus turns and sees the building is gone.) AAAAHHHH!
Guard: Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.
Krystal: (flatly) Yes of course, officer. (follows him)
Marcus: AAAAHHHH!
Guard: Hey, aren't you Krystal from Star Fox?
Krystal: Yes, I am! I can't believe you recognized me.
Guard: Well, I was a huge fan. (pauses, serious) You still have to pay for the jacket.
Krystal: (flatly) I know.
(Cut back to the robot)
Alan: Very clever, Perry the Platypus. I tried to ignore you, but you forced my hand. (Pushes a button and traps Perry) And now...I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter. Oh-ho-ho, where are my manners? (Gives Perry his share) Here you go, Perry the Platypus. Care for some pepper? Just say when. (Continues to pour pepper) Anytime.
(At Huge-O-Records...)
Ben: (from inside) Boys, let me start by saying we love your act and we want to be... (cuts to the boardroom) ...in the Sora and the Beast-Tones business. And by the way, aren't you a little not human to be pop stars?
(Pause)
Sora: ...No.
(Another pause)
Ben: Well, okay then! We prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.
Sora: (suddenly angry) Follow-up single? Who do you think we are, some two-bit hacks who will keep writing new songs just because you pay us obscene amounts of cash?! (He rips up the contract.) Sora and the Beast-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder! (The band enters the elevator.) Good day to you, sir!
(In the elevator, "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" plays as elevator music.)
Sora: Diva tantrum, check. (Pauses, listens to the "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" elevator music.)
Riku: Elevator music, check. (Riku checks off "Elevator music".)
(Cut to the boardroom with the robot approaching.)
Ben: Ah, who needs 'em? We still got this video tape of their performance. We could do live CDs, DVDs, podcasts, heck, we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom KINGDOM HEARTS BNA+! We could squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one video tape.
Manager: (screams) That giant robot's coming right at us!
Alan: (still pouring pepper) Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper. I'm more of a paprika man myself. (Perry blows over the pepper, Alan coughs) It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan!
(The robot sneezes them out, and they crash through the Huge-O-Records building)
Ben: The tape!
Alan: AAAAHHH! (Perry loosens the tape's film and successfully lands) AAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Lands on a soft mattress) Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck! (The mattress folds in half) Oof! I'm okay! I'm still better than the... (gets stepped over by the robot) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
(Below...)
Sora: Oh, there you are, Perry. (Perry chatters; a bus pulls up and they get on.) Come on, guys. We still have one thing left to do.
(The bus pulls away to reveal it reads "SBT Reunion Concert".)
(In Googolplex Mall...)
Phil: And the winner of the day's "Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star" is... (Screen zooms out to reveal:) Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender! Oh, give him a hand! He's going to Hollywood!
(Pan to Stacy hangin' on a bench; Jeremy walks over.)
Jeremy: Hey, Stacy. What's up?
Stacy: Hey, Jeremy. Oh, same old, same old.
Jeremy: So why did you run off earlier?
Stacy: Oh nothing.
(sighs) Nothing Phineas and Ferb-related.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Jeremy: I gotta go, I'll see you later. (Walks away)
(pan to stage, Michiru comforts Nazuna)
(Song: "Gitchee Gitchee Goo")
(Music beats)
Sora: (offscreen) Hey Nazuna.
(Shows the stage for the PFT Reunion Concert)
Sora (cont'd.): You're still the hundredth contestant, wanna come up and help us out?
(Candace walks onstage.)
Sora: Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!
Nazuna: That's what my baby says!
Sora: Mow-mow-mow!
Nazuna: And my heart starts pumping!
Sora: Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah!
Nazuna: Never gonna stop!
All: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!
Sora: I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!
Nazuna: That's what my baby says!
Sora: Mow-mow-mow!
Nazuna: And my heart starts pumping!
Sora: Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah!
Nazuna: Never gonna stop!
Sora/Nazuna: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! (X2)
Gitchee Gitchee Goo means: That I love you baby, baby, baby!
Riku: Baby-baby-baby-baby,
Nazuna/Sora: Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!
(Crowd cheers)
Nazuna: That was great! I've been thinking of those two boys all wrong!
They're my ticket back to my home dimen-
Sora: Thanks, you've been great! This is the last time we're ever gonna sing that song. We're retiring, good night!
(The band walks offstage; the lights switch off, leaving Candace in the dark with her eyes still visible.)
Mall Operator: (via loud speaker) The mall is now closed and will re-open at 9:00 A.M. tomorrow. Thank you for shopping with us.
(Nazuna's eyes blink then cuts to black, as the guitar stinger plays.)
(Back at the McCloud Co-op, Krystal watches a commercial on TV)
(Song: "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!")
Singers: She's Lindana!
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun...
(remainder of lyrics under announcer's voice-over)
Singers: She wants to have fun
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun!
Singers: She's Lindana
Lindana: I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun!
Singers: She wants to have fun
Lindana: I wanna, wanna, wanna have
Singers and Lindana together: Fun fun fun!
Lindana: I'm not Veronica or Alison or Donna
And I don't wanna scrub the sink or mow the lawn-
Announcer: You loved her in the '80s. Get ready to love her again. Lindana's mega hit "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun", and been remixed and re-translated into your favorite languages: Portuguese! Dutch! Canadian! Japanese! Esperanto! Pig Latin! Dog! And everyone's favorite-
(Krystal turns off TV)
Marcus: Hey, Mom. Whatcha watchin'?
Krystal: Oh, nothing.
THE END
An Oath to Return
KINGDOM HEARTS