Anselm yawned as he rolled over, waving his hand feebly at the blaring alarm on his phone. Finally getting his wits about him, he careful tapped the screen, the annoying sound silencing in a moment. If he had more awareness, he'd have just used his powers to fix the problem, but he didn't... so he didn't.
He looked over at the empty bed on the other side of the room. Either Yeremi had spent the night with a girl, or he'd already headed to class. But that didn't matter at the moment, if his alarm was going off it was 7:30, leaving him little time to get ready for his godforsaken morning class. He rolled over, stretching his arms up with a satisfying crack as he grabbed a pair of jeans of the corner of his bed, helpfully discarded last night when he fell asleep.
The bright sun streaming through his window left him with a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach as he slipped his arms into the sleeves of his thick coat, shoving his feet into the definitely not signed pair of sneakers.
As he walked down the hall, passing two other students, one with what appeared to be a tongue hanging nearly to his bellybutton, and the other a girl with a glazed look in her eyes, he pulled out his phone, checking the latest rankings.
"Still #3 huh, even though my combat scores are way better than Eli's or Selena's?! Fuuuuck." He growled, running a hand through is hair as he skipped the stairs, jumping to the ground outside with barely a sound. He'd have to hurry to make it to Brink's class on time, but he wasn't worried.
Just another day at Godolkin University...
Four hours later, and his mood not improved, Anselm returned to his dorm room, intending to light up to get rid of his stress, only when he opened the door to his dorm, he found his roommate Yeremi had returned with company in the form of two girls, one of whom was bent over the bed as Yeremi dicked her down like a champ, judging from her enthusiastic moans of pleasure, while the other pressed her tits into his back, whispering for him to ruin the little slut.
"Oh God, come on man, at least put a sock on the door, we've been over this!" Anselm shouted, throwing his shoes on the ground as he flopped on the bed, refusing to give up his space just some his 'friend' could keep getting laid.
"Aww, what's the matter little buddy, jealous that he gets to have a piece of the hottest ass on campus?" The free girl teased as the frustrated boy stuck up a middle finger.
"Fuck you Selena, I'd rather stick my dick in a blender than your crazy cu... your powers are totally unfair for the rest of us who have to go to class, subby bitch." Anselm cursed as Selena giggled airily, slinking onto his bed as she rubbed at his crotch.
"Aww, don't be like that... I still go to class, and study, and get dicked down by at least three guys at once, and nearly suffocated between Natty's thighs, totally worth it, not my fault you can't keep up." Selena taunted as he slapped her hand away.
"I'd tell you to fuck her useless brains out, but I'm afraid it wouldn't do any good. I'm going to The Vortex over on Sixth Street if you can pull yourself away long enough for coffee." Anselm said, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he stomped out of the room, but not before taking a long drag of a vape flavored like cherry. He hated cherry and needed to kick the habit.
Selena, meanwhile, rejected, crawled back on the bed with Yeremi, and shoved the panting clone's head between her legs in the not even weirdest display of masturbation Anselm had seen at this place.
Just another day at God U.
"Hey Anselm, you want the usual?" The barrister... barista, can guys be baristas? Regardless, the purveyor of coffee asked.
"Sure thing, thanks Caleb.?" Anselm said, hands in his pockets as he waited a few minutes. Thankfully, it was past the morning rush, but not quite lunch hour yet, so the place was mostly deserted.
"Here you go, a hot blonde Americano for the hot blond American!" Caleb said cheerfully, his smile peeking from beneath his multilayered scarf.
Anselm smiled gratefully, making sure the barista had looked away before cringing. Caleb was nice, but Anselm wasn't... one of them.
Turning around to find a seat and borrow the Wi-Fi so he could get some homework done, he was immediately rewarded with one of the only people in the place heckling one of the other baristas, Raven.
He was equally uninterested in Raven for different reasons, reasons that he didn't mind in terms of her living her best life but were turnoffs to him. The numerous piercings for one, if it were just earrings, he could overlook them provided they were too gaudy, but the nose ring, tongue ball?, and bellybutton bar? were more than he preferred. The tattoos only further detracted from her appeal in his eyes, a colorful haka pattern adorning her left arm that was admittedly beautiful, but not sexually attractive to him, though at least it wasn't a tramp stamp.
Neither of those things, however, meant he wasn't friendly to her, being on first-name basis, nor that he was just going to ignore the guy clearly pressuring her.
"Come on baby, I'll add a $100 tip for your company." The guy even sounded greasy, as he tried to loop an arm around Raven's waist, pulling her onto his lap.
"Trevor, she's gotta cost at least 300 with an ass like that." A second guy added, hidden behind the first creep.
"I'm sorry, I've got to get back to work. Let me go!" Raven ordered as she tried to stand, only for Trevor to pull her back, squeezing her against his barrel chest.
"Hey, can you let her go please. This is a coffee shop, not a brothel or whatever. Geez, I thought only hipsters, millennials, and awkward college students hung out here, not creeps like you two." Anselm needled, earning everyone's attention.
"Hey man, mind your own business! She doesn't mind, do you sweetheart?" Trevor stated, ignoring as Raven tried to wiggle free. "See she's teasing me with that fat ass of her's!"
"Raven, could you duck please." Anselm requested as the blue-haired barista nodded silently, dipping her head just in time for the God U. student to throw his steaming cup of coffee in Trevor's face, the hefty man shouting in pain as he let Raven go, the girl hiding behind the nearby counter.
"What the shit!? Fuck you asshole!" Trevor yelled, standing with a grunt as he threw a wide haymaker at Anselm, who sidestepped, sticking his foot out as Trevor fell on his face. His buddy ran up, trying to pull him to his feet and out the door as Anselm watched blankly.
Soon after they left, Raven came back out, a new cup of coffee in her hand.
"Thanks for that Anselm, neither me or Caleb really wanted to clean blood off the floors again. Here's another coffee, on me." She said, pressing the piping hot cup into his hand as he looked back at the door.
"Aw man, that would've been a cool one-liner. Here, have a coffee... on you!" Anselm said, posing as Raven chuckled.
Just another day at God Uni's best coffee shop.
It was several hours later, after two more cups of coffee, and a lengthy text from Yeremi about boundaries, whatever the hell that meant, when Anselm left The Vortex. The sky already beginning to darken.
It was two blocks later that Anselm noticed the low hum of a truck following him. Turing around, he easily spotted the double crew cab pickup hot on his trail, Trevor and his buddy behind the wheel.
They must have been out of towners if they thought this was a good idea, but Anselm was annoyed, the small hits of nicotine and caffeine had done little to curb his tense nerves from this morning, so he did the smartest dumb thing he could think of... he jaywalked.
Hardly ones to pass up such an opportunity, the men pressed on the gas, none too subtle about their intentions for revenge.
"I'm not even a half-step off the fucking curb! At this rate, these morons'll chase up onto the sidewalk and plaster some pedestrians." Anselm commented aloud, walking further into the mostly empty street, thankfully the other drivers slammed on their brakes, thinking better than to get involved, or in the way of what was an obvious murder attempt.
Anselm only held up his hand, the hood of the cab stopping the moment it made contact, it barely bent from the impact, not that the men inside were so lucky. Trevor went chest first into the wheel, no doubt cracking at least six ribs. Which was better than his buddy, who had forgone a seatbelt and was sent out the windshield, bouncing across the pavement, leaving a bloody smear.
Anselm burped helpfully as Trevor climbed out of the cab, a bat in hand.
"Bad idea, I wouldn't be moving with your injuries like that, you might make them worse. Besides, if a truck didn't leave a scratch on me, I don't know what you think a bat will do?" Anselm taunted, backstepping just as Trevor swung, the wooden bat hitting the pavement.
"Can someone please call 911, an ambulance for them, or the police to report a murder attempt, I don't care which." He added quietly on the end.
While he was distracted, Trevor came back up with the bat, the Louisville Slugger smacking Anselm's cheek, igniting on contact as he looked back to Trevor. "Are you done now?"
The wannabe vigilante fell on his chubby ass.
Just another day with Godolkin University's future hero.
A/N: Hey guys, it's a me, Aero! I've been watching Gen V, and rewatching The Boys in preparation for the upcoming season, and couldn't get my brain to shut off, so here I go expressing myself again.