Chapter 35
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Liv reassures. "You're exhausted and Noah needs to be someplace that's comforting. Where he feels safe. Right now, that's not here."
Rafael exhales. "Ok….take my phone. I'll take yours home, charge it."
"Thanks."
"I'll try and be back soon-"
"-I'll be ok, Rafa. Take your time. If I need you, I'll call."
His green eyes dance with hers and she reaches for his hand, twining her fingers through his.
He holds it tightly, leaning down to press his lips to hers. "Te amo."
She holds him against her lips a minute longer. "I love you too, Rafa."
. . . . . . . . . . . .
"How good of you to join us, Detective," Tucker comments dryly, glancing at his watch.
Fin ignores the smug look on his face, heading towards the interview room. Tucker follows him, closing the door behind them.
"How is she?" Tucker questions.
There's a softness to his voice that doesn't surprise Fin, considering he knows that Liv was the one to break-up with him. "Good, all things considered."
"….and Noah?" He questions a little more unsurely.
"He's back with his parents; that's all that matters right now."
Tucker nods, taking a seat at the table. "Rollins and Carisi say they weren't at the house. Why is that?"
"That was my call," Fin answers, sitting at the table with him. "We didn't want to gamble having all our eggs in one basket; we weren't 100 percent that Porter would be at one of those houses."
Tucker nods. "What happened in that house?"
Fin recounts the events the exact same way he had told Dodds, and just like his chief, Tucker asks the same questions.
"Neither of you thought to wait for ESU? Or at the very least, put on a vest?"
"There wasn't time."
"That's playing fast and loose, detective, even for you."
Fin doesn't take his bait.
Tucker holds his gaze for a minute too long, before turning off the camera. "Provided that the autopsy backs your story, I don't see any reason to investigate further. From what Dodds says, this entire investigation went by the book."
"Liv's been through enough."
There's a flicker in Tuckers gaze, but it's gone as quickly as it came. "You'll let Barba know that we'd like to see Noah sooner, rather than later."
Fin nods.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
His phone buzzes and she maneuvers around her IV to grab it from the tray table he had left it. Fin's name is flashing across the screen and she answers it.
"Hey Fin, it's me."
"Liv, how you feeling?"
Everything is sore. She probably could sleep for three days straight, and she doesn't know if she wants to cry or laugh or maybe even both. "Taking it one hour at a time."
"That's all you can do….is Raf with you?"
She's so used to hearing her squad refer to him by his last name, that hearing this shortened version of Rafael makes her smile. "He took Noah home and left me with his phone so that he could charge mine."
"Got it….Look, I don't want to lay this on you while you should be recuperating, but Tucker was just here. He wants to see Noah sooner rather than later were his exact words."
"Tucker can go to hell," she replies angrily.
Fin laughs over the phone. "You want me to tell him that?"
She exhales, smiling despite herself. "I'll tell him myself."
"Copy that," he laughs. "You need me to bring you anything?"
"I'm good….Fin, thank you, for everything."
"You know I always got you, Liv."
"….So take the Sargents exam, will ya?"
He chuckles over the phone. "Already on it. Let me get off this phone, let you rest."
"Bye Fin."
He hangs up, and she stares down at Rafael's phone. She hadn't noticed the wallpaper when she answered Fin's call and it's a candid picture of her and Noah, curled up on her couch. When he had snapped this photo, she has no idea, but he's captured a tender moment between the two of them: Noah is mid laugh and she's pressing a kiss to his head and it's a side of herself, a side of her own life, that she realizes not many people get to see.
Curiosity gets the better of her, and she opens his photo app.
There are so many more.
Of Noah, playing, laughing, smiling.
He's managed to capture the very best of her son through his pictures and she can't help the tears that well in her eyes.
As she continues to scroll, there are more than a few of her.
Sipping her coffee, engrossed in her phone.
Putting on her make-up in the morning.
Walking hand in hand with Noah.
Her sleeping.
Right away, the intimacy of the photos causes her throat to tighten.
It's the way he sees her.
They're elegant and soft.
They're beautiful.
There are a few of Noah that she'd like to have, so she sends them to herself, before sending herself a text she hopes he sees.
I love you.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
He had driven back to her apartment on autopilot, his mind consumed with far too much in the silence of his car. Every few blocks he glances in the review mirror just to check on Noah; he had fallen asleep almost instantly.
Dr. Wilder had encouraged them to have him speak with someone, a therapist, to work through the trauma. She had reassured them with support, Noah would bounce back.
He wasn't so sure.
Pulling into her parking garage, he pulls into her spot. He maneuvers Noah out of his seat and the little boy curls into him immediately.
The elevator is vacant and he's able to ride to her floor undisturbed. When they finally make it to her floor, he lets himself into her apartment. Noah stirs in his arms and as his head lifts from his shoulder, he can feel his body go rigid against him.
He steps further into the apartment, reaching to turn on a light, when Noah screams from his arms.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Noah screams, trashing in his arms.
Rafael tries his best to hang on to him but his tiny fist connects with his nose, his knee into his stomach and he sets him down. "Noah, Mijo, it's alright," he tries to sooth.
His eyes are wide in his face, darting around the apartment. He makes a beeline for the door and he's out into the hallway before Rafael can stop him. He's at the elevator slamming his hand into the button in an attempt to get it to come faster and as the door opens, Rafael moves quickly to stop him before he can slip inside. Wrapping an arm around his middle, he pulls him back and Noah thrashes against him.
"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"
The elevator door slides shut and it's only then that he relents, letting him go.
Noah drops to the floor, curling into a ball.
The sob that slips from his tiny body all but undoes Rafael and he's wiping his eyes quickly, kneeling down next to him.
"Noah, mijo," he says gently. "You're safe. No-one is going to hurt you. You're safe." He can see the recognition cross his face and he dares a quick glance at him. "It's me, mijo." Noah moves quickly, barrelling into him and Rafael's knocked off his feet at the force of him. His arms are like a vice around his neck and he rubs his back attempting to calm him. "I've got you," he reassures. "You're safe."
"….don't make me go back there," he whispers into his shoulder. "She'll find me."
His voice is so small, so tiny that he barely hears him. Rising to his feet, Noah wraps his legs around his waist just as tightly and he just holds him there in the hallway. "We can go back to my place. Would that be better?"
The little boy buries his face into his neck, nodding.
"Ok…I'm justing going to go close the door, ok? I'm not going to go in," he reassures. Moving slowly, he approaches the door and Noah tenses next to him. Reaching for the door he tugs it closed, locking it before pocketing his keys. "Ok?" Noah let's out a sob into his neck and the tears immediately well in his own. "I know, mijo, I know," he soothes.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
"Deputy Commissioner, Lieutenant Tucker," Dodds greats, gesturing them into his office.
"Chief," Hank greets. "It looks like your department is in the headlines once again."
Dodds circles his desk, sitting, gesturing for them to do the same. "You'd think the commissioner would be happy the news cycle has forgotten about the fraudulent escapades in his own office."
Hank shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "Be that as it may, he is still concerned about this case-"
"-is he?" Dodds questions. "Or do you just have an ax to grind with Lieutenant Benson? Or maybe it's with ADA Barba? Hell, knowing you, it's probably both."
Tucker smirks from his own chair.
"We had a missing child on our hands. Surely you're not suggesting that we shouldn't have ran the case as we did simply because of who his mother is?" Dodds continues.
"No, I'm not suggesting that," Abraham answers.
Dodds looks between the two of them. "Then I'm not sure why you're here."
"Given the nature of Shelia Porter's death and Benson's record, the commissioners office would like to further investigate."
Dodds turns to Tucker. "And what does 1PP think?"
Tucker folds his arms against his chest. "1PP finds Detective Tututola's statement to be credible. We're waiting on the autopsy."
"But you haven't questioned ADA Barba, Lieutenant Benson, or her son," Abraham points out. "All of whom, were in that house."
"Are you suggesting a 5 year old shot and killed Porter?" Tucker questions angrily.
"It needs to be ruled out," Abraham answers.
Before Tucker can fire back, Dodds leans forward on his desk. "Ok, so you're dotting your Is and crossing your Ts….You wouldn't be here if you weren't going to convene a grand jury."
"Professional curtesy."
Dodds nods, rising from his seat. "You can get the hell out of my office now."
"Excuse me?" Abraham questions angrily.
"You heard me."
"Leave, Abraham," Tucker reiterates.
Hank looks between the two of them before rising from his seat, leaving Dodds office, letting the door slam behind him.
"I hate that guy," Dodds seethes. "The nerve of him to even entertain the idea of putting Olivia through another grand jury! Barba's going to have a heart attack, you mark my words."
"I don't want you to think that just because I came in here with the guy, that I'm supporting this."
Dodds waves him off. "You're a lot of things, Lieutenant, vindictive isn't one of them."
Tucker rises from his seat. "I'll do what I can on my end; make sure your squad has got it together."
Dodds accepts his outstretched hand.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
He startles awake to Noah shaking him.
"Papa, wake up!"
There's fear in his voice, and Rafael attempts to pull himself from sleep. "What is it, Noah?"
"There's someone in your house!"
This pulls him from his sleep immediately. Flinging back the covers, he's reaching for his phone brining up his security app. Before he can view the footage for the door cam, he hears familiar singing coming from his kitchen.
He relaxes, but only a fraction.
"Do you hear that?" He asks Noah.
The little boy nods.
"That's grandma Lucia. She has a key to my apartment. Everything is ok. You're safe," he reassures calmly. "Shall we go say hi?"
Noah nods, taking his outstretched hand as he climbs off the bed. Lucia's singing gets louder as they make their way down the hall and as they turn the corner to the kitchen, Noah is giggling.
"Hi Grandma!" He greets.
Lucia startles, jumping in his kitchen and this only makes Noah giggle more.
It's music to his ears.
"Nieto! You scared me!" She greets. "I didn't think you'd be home yet."
Noah crosses the kitchen and Lucia lifts him into her arms, hugging him tightly. "I was so worried about you, Nieto."
His mother's concern is genuine and it causes his throat to tighten a little at the love she's pouring over Noah.
"What's in the bags?" Noah questions, wrapping his arms around her neck, resting his head on her shoulder.
Lucia rubs his back. "I thought I'd make some meals for you and your mama."
"Papa too," he adds.
His mothers gaze snaps to his and he leans against the fridge, crossing his arms against his chest.
"Papa too," she corrects. "Would you like to help me? Papa looks like he could use a few more hours of sleep."
Pulling away from her shoulder, Noah nods, a small smile on his face.
Setting him down, Lucia frames her hands around his tiny face, giving him a kiss on each cheek. "Perfect! Go give your hands a wash, nieto."
Noah scampers off towards the bathroom and he's pushing away from the fridge, enveloping his mother in his arms. "Te quiero, mamá (I love you, mom)."
Lucia squeezes him a little tighter. "Yo también te amo, hijo. (I love you too, son)."
Tbc