TTAF C19e
Saturday arrived and it was a blustery, cold day. Harry followed his teammates out to the locker room at the pitch, still wiping sleep from his eyes, even though he'd had a quick, light breakfast. The sun was barely up when they went. Wood was determined that their second game of the season would be perfect. Harry wasn't so sure Wood was in control of all his faculties. He seemed to be more determined than he had been for the past two years to ensure they won the Quidditch cup three years in a row. He wanted to set new records.
Harry didn't understand why Wood was insisting on all the extra practices and the long hours he spent on their game strategy. He'd already secured a spot in Puddlemere United. He had everything he'd dreamed of.
Harry hurriedly donned his quidditch gear, hoping that the moisture barrier spells held since it had looked like rain as they came into the locker. He shivered against the cold of the room. It normally was much warmer, and Harry wondered for a moment if Madam Hooch had forgotten to have the elves keep the furnace on. She usually wasn't one to do that, but no one was perfect. He settled onto the bench that was in the centre of the two banks of lockers. Fred and George joined him, one on either side of him.
When Fred sat he asked, "What's up, Harry?"
"Yeah, we haven't seen as much of you since you took ickle Ronniekins and Ginny away from us to sit next to the Slytherins." George added.
"What's up with you and the little snakes?" Harry shrugged, a noncommittal gesture. He was saved from answering them as Wood appeared in the area. He began one of his long-winded talks about their strategy, the game that they would need to win for the glory of Gryffindor, all the things that he had said before each game this year. Harry tuned him out, instead thinking of flying, and envisioning himself catching the snitch. They were playing Ravenclaw, and Harry knew their seeker to be even better than Malfoy. Cho was a pretty girl with long black hair that fell in a silken sheet down her back. He'd started developing a crush on her, but somehow he'd lost interest in her this year.
He turned his mind from that, not willing to admit when he'd stopped admiring the Ravenclaw. He wondered what Snape was doing right then.
Harry hoped that the man would be at the game. Things had kind of changed for Harry as far as Snape was concerned. During the summer and the first part of the school year, Harry had tried to keep Snape at a distance. Now, he kind of wished he could rely on Snape like Draco did with his parents. Even as bad as Lucius Malfoy was, Draco still loved him. And from what Draco had said about the trial, Mr Malfoy had made sure that Draco didn't have to face any embarrassment over the contents of their house. Not that Harry would ever want Lucius Malfoy for a dad. It was just that Harry wanted someone like that, who would be there for him. Who he could rely on for as yet undefined things.
George elbowed Harry in the side. The rest of the team were up and heading out to the pitch. Harry could hear the dull roar of people in the stands. He hastily grabbed his broom and followed the twins out.
It started raining as soon as they were up in the air. Harry was glad he'd cast the Impervious charm on his glasses that Hermione had taught him. His gear seemed to be holding up too. He made a wide pass of the field on his broom, close to the stands. He saw Hermione and Ron and next to them sat Bulstrode and Malfoy. Ginny was beside him, a little too close for Ron's liking from her brother's scowl. He swooped by them with a wave, and then sped on, seeing Snape in the stands next to Professor McGonagall. Harry imagined that Snape paid special attention to him as he passed. Suddenly feeling light, he flew up high so he could best see where the snitch was.
An hour later, he was starting to get cold. No matter how well the spells still worked on his gear, the wind and rain were doing their work to make it one miserable game. Ravenclaw had made several goals to Gryffindor's one, and Harry had yet to see the snitch. He watched Chang, to see if she had spotted the small ball when suddenly the air became frigid. Harry looked about, seeing nothing at first, but then the high-pitched screaming he'd come to associate with the presence of dementors started in his head. He felt dizzy, disoriented even as he tried to move his broom closer to the ground. He let go of the handle as darkness enveloped him. He fell, the scream still sounding in his head as he lost consciousness.
In his quarters, Remus rose, thankful that he hadn't been on the staff roster to monitor breakfast in the Great Hall this Saturday morning. He quickly showered, dressed, and sat at his small table, giving it a rap and saying "breakfast" aloud. Magically, a full English appeared, then magically disappeared to be replaced with the tea, toast, and jam he usually breakfasted on. For some reason, the elf assigned to him could never seem to keep it straight. He poured himself a steaming cup, and munched his toast as he perused the copy of the Prophet that accompanied his repast. He tossed it aside after a few moments, unable to turn his mind from the subject that had occupied it all week.
After the excitement on Halloween had died down, the castle searched, Harry safe, the Fat Lady restored to her painting outside Gryffindor tower, and no sign of Sirius Black, on or off the map, Remus had decided to keep it for the time being. He had been nearly certain the Grim Harry and his friends had seen was actually Sirius in his animagus form. Now, he was convinced it was. Sirius Black had eventually appeared on the map, as Remus thought he would, the day after Halloween, and every day and night since. Remus had been tracking him all week. Always out in the grounds, he appeared to be searching for something, walking the same concentrically circling path again and again. He would start at the perimeter and gradually work his way closer, until he was circling the castle. Remus couldn't fathom what Sirius could possibly be searching for; certainly not Harry, not out in the grounds after dark. Remus would then see that Sirius' would find a spot, in the forest, or behind Hagrid's hut, or near the Thestral pens, and remain unmoving for some hours. Remus assumed it was where he'd bed down for the night, another reason he was sure it was Sirius in animagus form. Surely Hagrid or his boarhound would have seen the man otherwise?
Remus finished his breakfast, refilled his cup and sat back to contemplate. The question now was, what should he do? Alert the Headmaster or go in search of Sirius himself? Alerting Dumbledore carried the risk of Sirius having the dementors set on him, and Remus was loath to do that. He wanted Sirius captured, wanted him to pay for his crimes, but Remus also wanted to talk to Sirius. To ask him why. If Sirius were recaptured, he'd most certainly be kissed, and Remus would never have his answer.
After a few more thoughtful sips of his tea, he made a decision. He would seek Sirius out himself, and then alert Dumbledore, after he had his answers.
Severus watched in horror as the boy plummeted to earth. Screams sounded all around him as he slid his wand from the holster he wore under his robes. He cast frantically, any spell he could think of to keep the blasted boy alive. Albus, Minerva, and several other professors were frantically casting Patronuses, and had Severus felt any less panicked, he might have thought the gambolling, swimming and flying creatures dashing about the field chasing the dementors away to be comical. As it was, he felt his heart in his throat until the boy's momentum was arrested and he seemed to float towards the field. He looked around for who had cast that particular spell, only to see a white-faced Granger, two equally pale Weasleys, and both Miss Bulstrode and Mr Malfoy casting charms. He didn't see them cast anything that would slow the boy's motion as it was, but he made a mental note to give each of them house points.
Once he ascertained that Harry was indeed not going to die from a fall of great height, he made haste from the stands to the pitch. Whatever spell had been cast gave way and Harry's descent speeded up. He arrived just as Harry landed on the ground and bounced up again a fair distance.
Severus thought he might have used too much force on his cushioning charm. As the boy made his way back down, much faster this time, Severus reached out and tried to catch him. He missed, and Potter's body landed with a soft thunk just past the extent of Severus' cushioning charm.
The boy was completely unconscious, his nose and ears bleeding, from what Severus couldn't tell, but he could guess Harry was suffering from at least a concussion from his second fall to earth. The site of the blood made him clutch the boy to his body and run at top speed from the pitch.
He passed the Greenhouses, and ran through his secret entrance to the castle, one Albus had made for him during the darkest days of the war, so that Severus could enter and exit the grounds without need of disguising his clothing or covering his injuries after a session with an increasingly mad Dark Lord.
He ran through the dungeons, and up the stairs to the second floor where sat the infirmary. He waved a hand, blasting open the doors as he yelled, "Poppy!"
The Matron exited her office, "There is no need for dramatics, Sev…"
She stopped and rushed to the boy's side. Severus felt his knees give way and he landed on a perfectly made bed, the white cotton sheets and white wool blanket crushing under his weight.
The matron tsked, "This is why I wish Albus would do away with this sport. Every year I have to treat these poor children…"
Severus wheezed, "It wasn't… Quidditch… Potter… was attacked by…Dementors. He fell from… a great height."
"Oh for pity's sake! Damn that man and his nonsensical interference!" She cast a diagnostic spell that Severus didn't recognise and said, "Get the boy out of that gear and put him under a blanket while I get what he needs."
She bustled off. Severus, his pulse still pounding from his unaccustomed run around the castle grounds, removed the boy's gear. He vanished it, not caring where it ended up. He moved the boy carefully so that he didn't do further harm to him. Once done, he transfigured the boy's smalls into a hospital gown and rolled him until he could get the bedding down. He covered Potter carefully, tucking the sheet and blanket around him up to his chin.
Potter's eyes opened, glassy and unfocused behind his spectacles. Severus removed them, looking directly into the green depths of them. They were so like Lily's eyes, his one true friend during his dismal childhood. Severus found himself holding Potter's hand, his grip tight.
Poppy returned, handing Severus a pain potion. "Give him this."
He sat on the bed and propped Harry's head and put the potion to his lips. Potter grimaced but drank it. Next the matron handed Severus a cheering elixir that contained almost pure cacao. It was one of the few potions that Severus made that wasn't foul. Potter drank it and relaxed into Snape's arms. "Mmm… that's better."
Finally, she Tergeo'd the blood from his face. "He has a concussion. He'll need to stay here overnight for observation, but he should be right as rain by tomorrow morning."
She turned her attention to the boy, "Get some rest, Harry."
Severus settled in for the duration. Transfiguring a chair from the discarded potions bottles on top of the small table next to the bed. He sat next to the bed, watching Harry's eyes droop and then close in sleep.
Remus, the folded map in one hand, his wand in the other, moved quietly across the grounds toward the far side of the Thestral pens, just inside the forest, where the map showed Sirius was. He'd not moved since Remus had left the castle, and he assumed he was either eating or sleeping. He could hear the far off sounds of cheering and shouts from the Quidditch pitch, and he briefly felt bad for missing Harry's match, but considered he'd feel even worse if Sirius managed to somehow get to him.
Remus cast a silencing charm as he neared the Thestral pen, spotting the enormous black dog on the far side, noisily slurping water from the Thestrals' trough. He took aim with his wand, casting Petrificus Totalis, catching the dog unawares. It stiffened and fell over onto its side, and Remus ran around the pen to where it lay, unblinking, in the dirt and pine needles.
He knew this dog well, having cavorted with him many a time under a full moon. Looking down at the shaggy beast, he felt a spark of joy at seeing his old friend again, mixed with an overwhelming sadness at the situation.
"I know it's you, Sirius," he said quietly, "how could I forget, Padfoot?"
The dog made no sound, of course, and Remus moved into its line of sight.
"I can't let you harm Harry. He's all that's left of James and Lily," Remus said, pointing his wand at the big black dog. He uttered the transfiguration spell to force the dog back to human form, Incarcerous to bind the dirty, dishevelled man that appeared, and ended the petrification spell.
"I thought you were going to AK me, Moony," Sirius Black rasped, his voice rough from non-use.
"I should," Remus said, "I certainly have every reason to."
"Do you?" Sirius said curiously, "by the way, Moony, it's not Harry I'm after. My god, he looks like James, doesn't he?"
"He has Lily's eyes," Remus said shortly, "of course, he only knows that because everyone tells him so. You see, he's an orphan." He couldn't keep the sharp sarcasm out of his voice. Maybe he should kill him now. Maybe he didn't need answers.
"I didn't do it, Remus," Sirius said quietly, "why would I? I loved them, yes, Lily too, because James loved her, and I...I...loved James. I would never betray them, even if I'd been able to."
"Why would I ever believe you, Sirius?" Remus said, his anger tingeing his voice, "you were the only one who could. You were the Secret Keeper!"
"But I wasn't," Sirius said, "everybody assumed I was, and because they did, I wasn't."
"That makes about as much sense as anything else you've ever said," Remus scoffed, angry now, "you and James and your private jokes."
"I was the obvious choice for Secret Keeper, James' best friend," Sirius said, "and that's why James made Peter his Secret Keeper. Who would suspect little Peter Pettigrew to be James' Secret Keeper?"
"If that were true, why did I not know?" Remus asked, "why would you kee..." he stared at the other man a moment, then said quietly, "I see. You thought I was the traitor."
"I'm so sorry, Remus!" Sirius cried, "you know Dumbledore told us, the Order, that Voldemort was recruiting the werewolves, Greyback had already joined him! Peter said too, wondering if maybe Greyback hadn't threatened you perhaps. The irony of it makes me sick! Peter planted the seeds that made James and I suspect it was you, but...it was Peter all along! I swear, Remus! I would never betray James and Lily, and I am so sorry for thinking it was you. I should have known better. I should have insisted James make you Secret Keeper!"
"That's a good story, Sirius," Remus said, "you always did have a knack with storytelling, a way with words, always able to talk yourself out of trouble, you and James. But not this time. You betrayed James and Lily, killed Peter, and left poor Harry an orphan. I won't allow you to harm him, Sirius."
"I'm not after Harry!" Sirius said harshly, "I didn't betray James and I wouldn't harm his son!"
"Then why are you here?" Remus growled, raising his wand.
"Because Peter is here!" Sirius shouted back, "he's not dead! He's alive and well and here at Hogwarts! The rat is in rat form, I've seen him! Smelled him!"
"Azkaban has driven you madder than you already were, and that's saying something, Sirius" Remus said, grasping his arm and hauling him to his feet. "I should take you out to the perimeter and give you to the dementors, Merlin knows you deserve it after what you've done, but I'm not as cold-blooded as you are, so I'll take you to Dumbledore, and Merlin help you from there."
"Remus! Moony! I swear, I'm telling the truth!," Sirius protested, trying to twist away.
They scuffled a bit, but Remus was taller and stronger, and he had a wand.
"Stop, or I'll petrify you again and levitate you to the castle!," he snapped. Keeping a firm grip on Sirius' arm, he Accioed the map, which had fallen from his pocket during the scuffle.
"Is..is that...the map?" Sirius said delightedly, "last time I saw that, Filch took it off James and wouldn't give it back, but Remus! Look at it! Peter must be lurking around somewhere! I lost his scent, but he's bound to turn up, and you'll see him!"
"I've been watching you on this map for a week, and there's been no sign of Peter," Remus said, " because he's dead, Sirius. You killed him."
"Well he's probably hiding now he knows I'm on to him!" Sirius said, "but he's bound to turn up again in the Tower, that's where the boy is, after all."
"You know, Sirius, you really didn't need to ruin the Fat Lady's portrait..." Remus began
"Old bint wouldn't let me in, would she?" Sirius grumbled.
"Wouldn't have mattered had she," Remus said, "your quarry wasn't there."
"Of course he was," Sirius said, " he lives there, doesn't he? I chased him all the way to the Great Hall entrance, but he got away. He knew I couldn't follow him in there. I waited with the moggy, but he must have got out another way."
Remus stared at Sirius. He'd lost him after he'd said he'd chased Harry to the Great Hall. Azkaban had clearly messed with his mind. He was dealing with a madman.
"I don't know who you think you chased to the Great Hall, but it wasn't Harry, Sirius," Remus said, "come along now, Dumbledore will..."
Sirius twisted his arm in Remus' grip and said with annoyance, "What are you babbling about, Moony? Peter! I chased Peter to the Great Hall! Peter lives in the Tower, in Harry's dorm! He belongs to his friend, the ginger boy!"
Remus stopped in his tracks, staring once again at his former friend.
Scabbers. Ron Weasley's missing pet rat...was Peter Pettigrew? But...
"Ron Weasley, the ginger boy, told me he got his rat from his brother," Remus said, " it's been in his family for years. You're mad."
"Am I?" Sirius countered, "ask the boy how long they've had the rat. Around 12 years, I expect. Long time for a rat to live, wouldn't you say?"
Remus didn't have an answer for that. It was a wildly insane story, and one not out of character for the man Remus once knew. But...if it were true...could it be?
"But how could Peter Pettigrew still be alive?" Remus asked.
"He blew the street up, it's how he made his escape," Sirius said, "I chased him, I'd figured it out, and I went after him, cornered him. He cut his own finger off, blew up the street, killing all those poor Muggles, turned into Wormtail, and escaped down the sewer. I don't know how he ended up with the gingers, but as soon as I saw the photo of him with them, I recognised him."
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Sirius, at least make it credible! You expect me to believe wishy-washy little Peter Pettigrew cut off his own finger to frame you? You are mad!" Remus laughed angrily, jerking Sirius forward.
"Ask the boy to see his rat!" Sirius exclaimed, "you'll see, it's missing a toe! Moony...Remus, I know how incredible it sounds, but I swear it's the truth! Just look at the damned map! Peter will turn up because the ginger boy...Ron, protects him, he's safe with him. He protects him from the Muggle girl's kneazle cat. Just watch the map, Remus. I'm innocent, I would never have betrayed James and Lily! You know this, Remus, I know you do!"
Remus faltered. If this incredible story did turn out to be true, if Scabbers really was Peter...and Remus condemned an innocent man, how could he ever live with himself?
He suddenly changed direction, pulling Sirius along into the forest til they reached an ancient pile of rocks. Remus transfigured it into a rudimentary shelter of sorts, transfiguring the debris scattered on the forest floor into a pallet, a few leaves into a blanket, and shoved Sirius inside. He set a containment charm around the entire structure, effectively imprisoning the man, and then removed the spell binding him.
"You'll stay here, hidden. I'll bring you food and warmer clothing. Should Peter appear, I will go to Dumbledore and explain. If he doesn't, and you're lying, I will let you starve to death here for what you've done."
He cast a warming charm, several protection charms, as well as a Muffliato and a Notice Me Not charm, then walked away back to the castle, leaving his former friend, telling himself he was doing the right thing.
It was dark, and Severus woke suddenly, feeling sticky from the dried sweat under his robes. He should have cast a freshening charm before he fell asleep, but then, he hadn't intended to fall asleep. He still held Harry's hand, the boy's fingers interlocked in his. He heard a whispered conversation behind the curtain that Poppy had set up for the boy's privacy, so he extricated his hand from Potter's grip, and quickly cast a charm to freshen himself before Harry's little friends could invade the space.
Granger, he could tell by the sibilant hiss she made, said, "I'm not going to go first, you do it. You're in his house. He won't destroy you. He hates me."
A small scuffle ensued,and more whispering before Draco looked around the curtain, his eyes large and suspiciously guileless. Severus nodded to him. He was surprised that Malfoy would risk further alienation from his fellow snakes by visiting Harry. Potter was, after all, the reason many of their families' fortunes had turned.
Malfoy stepped inside the space, holding the curtain open so that Granger, Ronald Weasley, his two recalcitrant brothers, Miss Weasley, and Miss Bulstrode could see in. Draco said, "Hello, Sir. How is he doing?"
The others chorused their greetings as Severus sat up straighter. "He is as well as can be expected, given the events of the day."
One of the twins stepped forward. Severus thought it might be Fred. George was never one to speak first to Severus. "I tried to stop his fall, but I got distracted, sorry 'bout that."
Severus waved the boy's apology off, "Thank you. I saw what each of you did for Mr Potter. You will notice a change in the house points tomorrow."
The only response was from Ronald Weasley who exclaimed, "Cor, we get points from Snape!"
Severus almost laughed when Granger scowled and poked the poor boy in his ribs with her no doubt boney elbow. Malfoy stepped closer to Severus, letting the curtain fall back down. "Sir, everyone knows… about… you being Harry's guardian now."
"I had no doubt they would, Mr Malfoy." Severus said evenly. He was not a man to make mistakes. He orchestrated as much of his life as he could. This turn of events, while not what Severus had planned, was still something he had known would happen. He was secure enough in his position as a Head of House that he would be able to handle any fallout from the facts of his relationship with Potter coming to light.
Granger peeked through the curtain, "Draco, the Headmaster says we only have a bit before curfew. We need to leave."
To Severus' surprise, young Malfoy went quietly at Miss Granger's admonition. He wondered what Lucius would make of this turn of events when he was finally let out of prison. Severus needed to make plans for any repercussions so that the boy wasn't hurt by his father unnecessarily.
Once the children left–and Severus had sufficient time to steel himself for whatever nonsense the headmaster might spew– Albus stepped past the curtain. He seemed more careworn than Severus remembered him being recently. He transfigured a button that he pulled out of his pocket into a large, squashy chair and sat next to the bed. "I spoke with Cornelius. He has removed the dementors from the grounds for good."
Severus snorted through his nose, saying tightly, "They never should have been here in the first place."
"I can agree with you wholeheartedly on that, Severus." Albus answered. "He has increased the number of Aurors stationed in Hogsmeade substantially until Sirius Black is found. They will be patrolling the grounds. I believe young Miss Tonks will be stationed here for the duration. It will be a boon for her family. I understand that her family being here made her have to find lodgings in London. "
Severus made no comment, and Albus went on. "That was a very demonstrative act, what you did for Harry today."
"I suppose it was, Albus." Severus stated, keeping his eyes on the sleeping boy.
The headmaster sighed. "I do hope this proves successful in fostering a less divided school."
Severus sat forward. "I don't give a damn about the school, Albus. The boy could have died today. He is my responsibility and I failed him."
"Come now, Severus." Albus said in the placating tone that Severus hated coming from him. He was not being unreasonable.
"Don't." Snape said through gritted teeth. "When I saw him falling, all I could think about was…I cast a cushioning charm. A fucking second year charm, Albus. I panicked. Fred Weasley was the one who actually saved him from greater injury. I couldn't think past the fear of… losing him."
Albus sat with his hands clasped over his belly, his beard underneath them. He finally said, "I see."
Severus turned from the man in disgust. "No, I don't think you do. I am useless if I can't aid the boy in any way that I can in his fight against the Dark Lord. I couldn't even think of the proper spell to keep him from breaking his fucking neck. Now I've outed myself as his caregiver. What use will I be as a spy if the Dark Lord does return as you fear he will? He will kill me, Albus. Who will protect the boy then?"
Severus stood, turning his back to Potter. "I am useless to you and to him as I am now. I never should have let you talk me into taking Potter on. I kill everyone that I lo… that is close to me. Everyone."
Severus strode from the room without a backwards glance. He had a bottle of whisky to consume.
Harry had heard it all, the entire conversation. Snape had all but said he cared for him. That was… weird… right? In his experience only natural parents loved their kids. Harry wasn't his by blood or even by marriage. He really wasn't worth the effort Snape had put into him until now. Really, aside from being some kind of ninja baby, Harry wasn't all that special. He had no talent like Ron did with chess. He wasn't as smart as Hermione was. He didn't have connections and loads of cash as Malfoy did. There was no reason for Snape to care about Harry. None.
As he pondered, he felt sleep creeping up on him. Madam Pomfrey had given him a dose of that pain potion right before Snape woke up. It made him feel fuzzy and kind of floaty. It was nice to feel that way sometimes. The Headmaster said in the most reassuring tone, "Goodnight, Mr Potter, I had my doubts before, but I believe you have the perfect person to care for you now."
Harry blinked his eyes again as he heard the Headmaster's robes rustle as the old man stood. His soft footfalls grew more distant and then the door to the infirmary opened, letting in a bit of light from the hall.
He closed his eyes and wondered what Snape meant by that last bit about killing everyone that was close to him. Sleep took him before he could try to work it out.
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