Content warning: Mild to moderate Abuse themes, Readers discretion advised.
Vanitas released a guttural whine and ran a hand through his wild spiky black hair as he approached his doorstep. He could hear the blaring music from outside, and it made his sinking despair even worse. Vanitas dreaded entering his home, but there wasn't really anywhere else to go. He had already been kicked out of one of only two bars that the small coastal town had, and even that was a lot for the 'backwater' islands. He could always go to the other one, but he didn't feel like driving across town. So, vanitas bit the bullet and headed inside. The dance music blasted his eardrums and really killed the good buzz he had going. He hated the type of music that was playing, he hated how loud it was, and most of all he hated the person that was playing it.
He stood in the hallway with an annoyed grimace as he watched his wife, Xion, sway to the beat while neurotically cleaning the living room. He could feel a migraine building already. She was spinning and hopping around like an idiot in a kids movie. Yet, she stopped in her tracks when she saw him.
"Vani!" She giggled before dropping her broom and running over to embrace him. He stiffly held his arms up as she did so, allowing the hug but not returning it. He was not one for hugs. "You're home!" His tiny wife smiled.
She clung to him like a rowdy golden retriever and in his mind was just as obnoxious as one. Xion always made it seem like they had not seen eachother in days or weeks as if it was some big deal he was home from his 9 to 5 work day.
Vanitas sighed and shook his head in frustration. It took absolutely no prompting from him for her to begin to go on and on about her day, as if cleaning the house was any interesting. Vanitas zoned out rather quickly and started to think about anything other than listening to her.
That was until Xion looked up from nuzzling into his chest and gave him that same stupid doe-eyed look. "You smell sour, were you out drinking after work?" She asked, being annoyingly nosy as ever.
Vanitas scoffed and muttered under his breath, though not really being careful to be too quiet;
"Of course, I was drinking. It's the only way I can get through being around your obnoxious self" he concluded with an eye roll.
Xion blinked for a moment and then pouted, "Okay…just let me know next time. You know how I get worried about you." She said, before nuzzling into his chest again.
Vanitas likened his wife to an annoying pet…like a yippy mutt that wouldn't stop humping his leg or chewing his shoes. He never even wanted to be married in the first place, not really. They had only dated for 6 or so months when she had a pregnancy scare. Vanitas had, indeed, loved her at some point…so with the help of some social pressure from her family he made the commitment. Well, the pregnancy didn't take and at first everything was fine…until it wasn't. Fast forward 10 years and Vanitas was in his 30s and miserable. He hated his job, he hated her, and he hated this tiny nowhere island where everyone knew everyone and everyone was constantly in everyone else's business. Most of the people around their same age knew him and Xion, due to the small town nature of the place. This made the concept of cheating on her discreetly rather difficult. While some bored housewives and uncaring party girls didn't mind, barking up the wrong tree meant rumors would quickly spread and possibly get back to Xion. Of course, this had not stopped him from having as many affairs as he could over the years, but it was nowhere near the bachelor lifestyle he wished he had.
Even if he wasn't casually cheating and just wanted to leave her he knew divorce would just be messy. The house wasn't his and the entire thing just wasn't something he could afford; Vanitas often daydreamed about winning the lottery and dumping Xion before moving away forever…unfortunately, that just wasn't in the cards for him. So as an internal compromise he did whatever he wanted and performed the bare minimum to keep her satisfied; also, to keep the angry mob that was her social circle at bay.
Vanitas snapped from his thoughts and looked at her again. He had no words to offer her as all he could think about was his own horrible mood from dealing with her and thinking about all his regrets in life. He wordlessly moved away from her and went to sit on the couch to watch tv for a while. He randomly put on one of those awful shows as in his mind anything was better than listening to his wife.
Xion began to clean again and her music continued to play, rudely drowning out the sound of the show Vanitas was trying to watch. He wasn't even invested in trash tv, but the fact that he couldn't hear it because of Xion's antics made him ungodly annoyed.
Vanitwas let out a loud sigh, his buzz was practically gone now. "Xion, can you please turn down the music! I can't hear the TV!"
Xion turned to look at him with a dumb look on her face, as if she had not heard him. When she turned back around to continue cleaning he growled. That was when Vanitas decided he needed some fresh air. He stood up and got his cigarettes, and put one in his mouth as he went outside to smoke. As he took a long drag of his lit cigarette he closed his eyes. He held the smoke in for a moment before exhaling before he leaned his head against the wall and tried his best to calm down.
Vanitas flashed back to a few weeks prior where he was chatting up a new transfer from another branch, a pretty girl with brown eyes. He seemed to be getting somewhere when he was suddenly called away by a coworker. He thought she was interested but she never spoke to him again after that. Apparently words got to her that he was, in fact, married and she thought him an asshole. Vanitas sneered, if only everyone would just stay out of his business.
Vanitas didn't care what people thought of him, and if people had issues with his marital status he would just stick to the women that didn't. He only cared about his own happiness, and he was happy when he wasn't with his wife. In his head he could have whatever he wanted, and he never had to worry about anyone other than himself.
"Why can't anything in this town go right for me?" He said under his breath. "Why do I deal with this crap, when I could leave and do what I want." He spat.
It was fun to fantasize, but he knew why. If he left he would be couch hopping for a long time before he could save enough for his own place. Plus, seeing as how his reputation was rocky, it wasn't a promise that anyone would even let him in. His only family-who he was not close with to begin with-lived far away and those people were the only people he genuinely hated more than his wife.
Vanitas took another drag of his cigarette, and looked up at the sky. He truly had nothing better to do but stand there. That thought made him more frustrated than he already was.
After a few more minutes Xion poked her head out onto the front porch where her husband was and she frowned. "Vanitas…you know that's not a healthy habit." She pouted, lightly reprimanding him for smoking.
He didn't feel like arguing with her right now, so he decided to just take the scolding even though in his point of view he was an adult and didn't need a lecture from his wife.
"Sorry, hunny." He said sarcastically. "I'm almost done I promise." He looked her straight in the eyes, annoyed.
Xion paused for a moment before speaking again. "But…dinner is ready." Xion frowned. She wanted him to eat with her, she wanted him around all the damn time period. Xion hated being alone, which was why she clung to him like a wet cat; her claws digging into whatever little private time he had. Despite that fear she was always home, she never worked as she inherited a nice sum from her late father. Lucky her, Vanitas thought, she never had to work for ANYTHING. She could go anywhere she wanted while vanitas would have to settle for living under a bridge if he left her ass today.
"I'm not really hungry, thanks hun." He smiled, though it came off more as a sneer.
Vanitas took another long drag of his cigarette, though this time he blew the smoke in her direction and produced a large cloud.
Xion coughed and teared up from the smoke. "Vani, that's mean!" She whined. Even when she was being serious she sounded and looked like a fucking child to him.
"Awww do you want me to say sorry?" He chuckled. He put his hand on his heart as if to make a big sarcastic show of it. "Sorry honey, I didn't mean to offend."
She stared at him for another moment before sighing and then smiling. "Fine…but only a couple more minutes. I don't want your plate getting cold." She then went back inside and closed the door behind her. When she closed the door, Vanitas cursed under his breath.
"It's like she wasn't even fucking listening."
Without a doubt, the only thing more annoying than Xion's antics was the fact that she excused everything he did. One would think he would like that he got away with everything, but he despised it. She never took any of his insults or rudeness seriously. When they argued, she would always be the first to back down or concede even if he was being purposefully mean. He couldn't do anything he wanted, as seeing her cry was equally as irritating for him…and her friends had the bite she didn't, Though, her lack of 'respect for herself' as he called it…made her more annoying and awful to deal with. It made him feel like she really was stupid and it also meant she would never let him go free. Her leaving him was the only way for him to somewhat come out of this situation without being drained of his assets or completely killing his social standing but hell would freeze over before she actually held him accountable for something. Maybe she would finally crack if she found out about his affairs, but he could easily see her just doubling down.
He dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it. As he walked back inside the house he slammed the door behind him. The look on his face made it clear how annoyed he was with his life.
They had dinner, something made from a box as she couldn't really cook- Vanitas tended to cook for himself and himself only most days anyway. Then she cleaned some more before following him up to their bedroom like an excited dog. They were intimate. Vanitas wasn't really attracted to his wife anymore…she was not unattractive by any stretch of the means but he was just so used to her at that point. He longed for the touch of other much hotter women. Women that wouldn't ask them stupid questions to quell their insecurities, or be annoyingly vocal when all he wanted was silence, or insist on staring right into his eyes during the act…but when he came home Xion was all he had so…sometimes it was better than nothing. Though, after the deed was done vanitas turned away. He never indulged her cuddling requests, unless it was her birthday or a similar event. He mostly wanted to be far away from her at all times.
Vanitas laid in the bed on his side with his back to his wife, and he looked up at the ceiling. He thought about all of the women that he'd met over the years. He missed their touch, their kisses, their love, and he started thinking about the way life would be if he wasn't married, thinking about all of the women he could be with.
He so desperately wished that life could be different.
…
At around 6 in the morning Vanitas's golden eyes shot awake to the blaring sound of his alarm. He reached over and smashed the button in order to shut off the irritating noise. He groaned and sat up in bed, only to come face to face with Xion who had a big dumb smile on her face.
Even though she had nowhere to be, she insisted on waking up with him to see him off for work. Just like a bee she would buzz around every single moment Vanitas's attention was available to monopolize upon. Upon further inspection she was even wearing one of his shirts, which fit her skinny frame quite poorly. He certainly did not give her one to wear and it wasn't the shirt he was wearing before they got intimate either; she likely just plucked one from his drawer while he was asleep.
"Morning Honey." He scoffed as he looked at her. "Looking good." He added with an eye roll. With a yawn he rolled out of bed and got ready to go. He took a brief shower, brushed his teeth and his hair, got dressed, and ate a quick breakfast all under Xion's supervision. She even tried to munch off his plate which he readily declined with a smile of blatant derision. As Vanitas put on his shoes Xion grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a sneaky kiss on the cheek. She then handed him his thermos of coffee. "Have a great day." She beamed.
Vanitas put on his helmet and looked over at his wife again, giving her a look that made it clear how much he loved her. Perhaps it was a good thing she could only see her own reflection in his visor. He merely shook his head and took the thermos before heading outside to his awaiting motorcycle. Though, muttered profanities could be lightly heard as he insulted his wife under his breath.
…
Work was dull at his desk jockey job and he could not wait to get to the bar afterwards. He headed there straight after he clocked out just as he always did. He rode to the nearby dive bar and sat in his usual spot at the bar top. The bartender there was a sexy blue haired woman that often wore tank tops that showed off her voluptuousness. It was good she was such pretty eye candy because her narc personality was the worst. Her name was Aqua and she was one of xion's best friends, as well as one of Vanitas's biggest critics. She served him begrudgingly and clearly paid him no mind. As much as she obviously hated seeing him she wasn't one to kick him out until he started causing her trouble…maybe due to her connection with Xion? He didn't know nor care to find out why Aqua put up with him. So long as he could keep drinking.
Vanitas's orbs scanned the clientele and saw the usual suspects when his eyes fell upon a redhead sitting a few seats down that he had never seen there before. She had a cute face and blue eyes, with her aforementioned red hair falling just past her shoulders. He wondered why she hadn't looked familiar and considered the possibility that she was new in town. If that was true, why the hell would anyone want to come to Destiny Islands? The place was a shithole.
Vanitas absentmindedly lit a cigarette as he stared, in response he earned a chiding from aqua who didn't even have to turn his way to know he was the source of the smoky smell.
"Vanitas, you can't smoke in here." She scowled as she continued tending the bar. The reprimand caused the redhead to look his way and Vanitas's eyes widened as they briefly made eye-contact. Vanitas quickly snuffed out his cigarette and figured the new girl was prime real estate to shoot his shot with, and right then was as good a time as any.
"Sorry princess, I had a bad day at work." He laughed Aqua's way, demonstrating he knew the bartender well in case the mystery girl was into that. Vanitas leaned back in his stool and bit his lip, shifting gears into his more suave and charming characteristics. He was a wolf on a hunt and he had a matching grin to boot.
Under the watchful gaze of the redhead he shifted a few stools over and leaned into a conversation with her.
"Hey there, sorry to bug you but you look really familiar." He started. "Yeah, from those commercials, right? I didn't know models hung around small towns like this." He smirked.
The girl's eyes widened a bit and she couldn't help but chuckle from his attempt at flirting. Though Vanitas knew exactly what he was doing.
"Sorry, was that too cheesy? I'm not so good at talking to pretty girls." He shrugged and gave a rather sheepish look that couldn't be any more fake than the metaphorical sheep's clothing he was wearing.
The redhead gave a look that said she wanted to decline his advances, but his rather handsome visage and striking colored eyes were so mesmerizing that she almost wanted to humor him. Plus, his feign at nervousness gave off an adorkable vibe. "Oh wow," she smiled. "I can tell. That one sounds like you got it off of a popsicle stick."
"Okay okay, go easy on me." He said, raising his hands in mock defeat. "Seriously though, I don't think I've seen you around town before. Surely I would have remembered those pretty eyes of yours." He flirted, earning a light blush from Kairi in response.
"The names Vanitas, how about you?" He asked, giving her a bit of a shy gaze and reeling back his wolfish appeal. He felt like he could tell the woman before him was one easily swayed by his charm, as the tint on her cheeks hid very little.
Some girls liked the direct approach, and others wanted to sympathize with a potential match first in order to feel like they had a bit more power in the dynamic. In Vanitas's eyes, the mystery girl looked like someone who would be into dorks. In truth, a man as handsome as vanitas would flirt his way out of a concrete cell; but there was an art to capturing prey that made it almost like a game to him.
The woman gave a thoughtful look before holding out her hand for a handshake. "My name is Kairi, nice to meet you Vanitas." She said, returning his shy look with an assuring smile.
Vanitas took her hand, shaking her hand and then subtly pulling her closer to himself ever so slightly. He had a small grin on his face as he looked her in the eyes. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kairi." He paused before continuing. "So what brings you to a town like this?"
"What makes you assume I'm not from here?" She asks rather cheekily.
Vanitas lets his facade slip ever so slightly with a small smirk. "It's easy, this town only has one highschool and you definitely weren't in my graduating class."
Kairi pouted and offered a shrug. "Maybe I was homeschooled." She laughed.
"Then that just means your parents did the world a disservice by locking away the prettiest girl in our grade." Vanitas replied swiftly and with a lower tone in his voice, he was slipping even more into his more wolfish charm.
Kairi blushed a bit more. "Well…I'm actually from here…but I moved to Radiant Garden when I was a kid. Right now I'm back in town for a few months to help my father with something…He was one of this town's old Mayors back in the day but there's not much of a political scene out here so we went elsewhere." Kairi explained. There's not much of ANYTHING out here. Vanitas thought.
"Really now? That's actually pretty cool, I've always had something of an interest in politics." He lied. Though, now that Vanitas knew she wasn't from town he wanted to confirm his suspicions about something. "Hey Kairi, if you're from this town, then you must've heard about me, right?"
Kairi shook her head and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the strange turn in conversation. "No…But let me guess…are you a local celebrity?"
Vanitas smirked, then gave his best chuckle. "Yeah, you could say that I'm a local celebrity"
He said, raising one of his hands, twirling it around to give her a mental image of how he saw his life on this island. "Everyone around here knows me."
Kairi laughed and put a finger to her chin before giving a shy look "Oh really? I guess that shouldn't be surprising…You seem like quite the charmer." Kairi flirted a little in return, before Aqua interrupted as she wiped down the counter between them.
"Yeah, that's what all the ladies say…Until they found out he's MARRIED." Aqua glares at Vanitas.
Kairi's smile fades and she gasps, "I..I'm sorry.." she looks at vanitas confused and a bit put off. "What did she say? Are you…married?"
Usually Vanitas would have just denied it or said something about how they were basically just roommates living in the same house. However, with Aqua right there blatantly calling him out there was not much he could feasibly say. "Um...well...I mean...uh...Yes...I am."
Kairi and Aqua both stared at him in disbelief, but Aqua was used to this occasional behavior from him. "Trash…" Aqua said and shook her head.
Kairi glared, grabbed her drink and threw it at vanitas before walking away.
Vanitas wiped the searing liquid from his eyes and just scoffed at Aqua's glares. "Bitch." He spat with a nasty look, before storming out of the building. He didn't like how he had just lost the most perfect opportunity to finally get his release all because Aqua couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut. What was she doing eavesdropping anyway? She hardly ever got involved outside of her general mistreatment of him. He just wanted some respite from his shitty life, was that so difficult? He didn't like this, not in the slightest. When he got home he started drinking heavily in order to drown his problems in alcohol.
Xion came down to the kitchen after an hour or so where he was seated at the table with one of their wine bottles, she was wearing a different one of his shirts. It seemed like she was napping or went to sleep early when he came home. She rubbed her eyes and let out a soft yawn. "Vani? Is that you?" She looked at him. "What's wrong…Why are you drinking so much on a work night?"
He only met her with a scornful inebriated look and sipped his wine straight from the bottle. "I just… I need to unwind."
Xion frowned, not liking he looked a little worse for wear. She went over behind him and hugged around his shoulders. "I'm sorry your day was so bad." She cooed. Her stupid voice only served to aggravate him further. He couldn't believe he lost out on a potential hook up and had to come home to her.
Instead of shrugging her off, Vanitas sneered. He was getting wine drunk and started to feel a little loose, which meant the conversation that followed would go down one way or another.
"So what did you do today, Xion?" He gave a big toothy grin and put his hands under his chin.
She continued to hug him and shrugged before playfully saying. "I waited for you to get home, silly."
"Hm.." He nodded, taking another sip from the almost finished bottle. "So you waited up for me? You could've been doing something productive, you know?"
Xion paused a bit, surprised at his speech. "I…I mean..I cleaned the house." She spoke, a bit confused.
Vanitas laughed rather bitterly, his speech a bit more slurred "You cleaned the house...That's your only defense Xion, really? You're always cleaning the goddamned house, that's all you do."
Xion pulled away and looked at him, "I'm confused…are you mad at me?" She asked in a quieter voice. She looked a bit hurt. But Vanitas didn't care, his hatred for his annoying wife was bubbling to his lips and the alcohol flowed through his veins.
"YES! YES I AM MAD AT YOU, XION!" He suddenly screamed, earning a jump from her in response. His golden eyes flared with rage as he stared her down. He gripped the table until his knuckles turned white.
Xion frowned and bowed her head, instantly accepting whatever blame he was lobbying at her. Just like she always did. He was sick of always being forgiven, especially when he never asked for it. He felt like she thought she was better than him, when she was the most annoyingly stupid person ever. "I…I'm sorry Vani…please tell me what I did and I'll make it right."
"SHUT UP!" He gave a nasty look, before taking his bottle and throwing it at the wall beside her. The bottle shattered to pieces, causing the glass to scatter all over the tiled floor.
Xion yelped and cowered from the sound. She began to cry "V…vani.."
Vanitas moved from the table and swayed. He growled bitterly and didn't pay any mind to her tears. He was in a drunken rage, and he needed to get his anger out. "Just leave me alone, Xion!"
Xion blubbered and cried like a little baby as he stumbled up the stairs to bed, slurring curses and insults at her as he did. Vanitas stumbled into bed and collapsed onto the mattress, not even bothering to change his clothes. Bitter tears began to stream down his own cheeks as he lamented his lot in life. "Xion, you're an idiot!" He shouts. As Vanitas continued to fume, a small, nearly silent voice in the back of his mind wondered if he took it too far. The alcohol and his ego told him differently though. All Vanitas knew was that Hell would sooner freeze over before he would take back a word of what he said.
A/N: This is the first story I have written in a while and am excited to be on this journey again. The story is more than halfway finished. I just need to put it to official paper, so new chapters should be coming out relatively quickly. I know this may have been a tough read for some people but the deconstruction of Vanitas's ego and psyche is what made me want to write this story to begin with, that just meant he had to start somewhere pretty shitty to begin with. Know that nothing written in this story is my opinion about the characters, their actions, or themes that will be touched on in later parts of the story. This is told from a 3rd person framing of Vanitas's perspective and I deliberately intended for the narrator to be unreliable. I hope people are invested in what happens next, as I am excited for what is coming.
Also the chapter name is based on a song by OKGO, the song reminds me of this story for some reason.
Next chapter: A Cold Day in Hell
