He yawned, lifting her out of the crib and kissing her mop of unruly auburn curls. "Wanna wake Mama up?" he whispered to his daughter. He felt her nod against his shoulder. Matt strode over to the four-poster bed and put Alana down on the quilt, watching her hastily crawl over to her sleeping mother. He couldn't remember when he'd started the morning routine, but he knew his wife cherished the unhurried start to the day filled with cuddles.

"Mama!" Alana squealed and clumsily attempted to climb over Kitty.

"Mornin', sweet birthday girl," Kitty murmured and rolled over, pulling Alana in for snuggles. She kissed her forehead and rubbed her back as she settled down. The girl tucked herself in close against her and yawned. "Wanna go back to sleep?" she optimistically asked and closed her eyes, drifting back to sleep.

Matt smirked softly. Some mornings Alana would go back to sleep, but she was rearing to go other mornings. He took oak logs out of the rack, meticulously placing the pieces into the fireplace. He chuckled to himself as he heard Alana shout.

Kitty felt the little hand patting her cheek and sluggishly opened her eyes. "All right. I'm awake," she assured and took her hand, kissing it. She sat up and watched Alana scramble over to her father as soon as he settled under the blankets.

"You makin' breakfast, or am I?" Kitty inquired.

"I'll make breakfast," Matt said and groaned as Alana's knee landed on his ribs from her failed attempt to stand. "Little lady, you and those knees of yours," he grumbled and tenderly gripped her thigh as she wobbly stood on the mattress. He made a fuss as she climbed onto him and seized a handful of his curls to steady herself. "Lana, sweetheart," he rumbled and tilted his head as she pulled. "You're askin' for it," he warned.

"Oh-oh!" Alana screeched and landed on his lap. "No, Dada, no," she told him.

"I'm gonna tickle you!" Matt snickered at how fast she shook her auburn head and clambered to get to Kitty. She would have made it to the safety of her mother if she hadn't tangled herself in the sheets. He winked at his wife and grabbed a hold of his daughter's foot, yanking off the wool sock and mercilessly tickling.

"Mama!" Alana shouted through her peals of laughter. She kicked at the covers and shakily stood, taking a few steps.

"Baby, I can't do a thing with him," Kitty retorted and caught Alana before she fell into her. "Careful," she cautioned, sitting her up and letting her rest against her until she caught her breath. Kitty brushed Alana's hair out of her blue eyes and kissed her head. Alana pointed at her father and heatedly jabbered at him. "I know, Lana. Let me tell you something, baby. You're a Russell and a Dillon. You handle whatever comes your way, so handle your daddy," she advised and gently pushed her towards Matt. Kitty simpered in amusement since Alana's method of handling her father was throwing her body onto his broad chest and peppering his face with sloppy kisses. "Matt, can you believe a year ago you were worried about knowin' what to do with her?"

He snorted and situated Alana onto his lap. "Sometimes, I still don't," he admitted and watched Alana grab at the buttons of his union suit. He heard the noise of the canine's nails hitting the hardwood floors and felt Alana scooting off him. "Hold on a minute," he instructed, hating how she awkwardly slipped off the bed backwards. "You don't need a bump on that pretty head of yours." Matt gently put her down on the floor, observing her toddle to the Irish setter.

"You got her?" Kitty asked and slipped out of bed.

Matt nodded his head and glanced at his wife, focusing on her middle. "Kathleen, come here," he beckoned and put his socked feet on the floor.

"What, Cowboy?" She walked to him and smiled as his arm hooked around her. Kitty leaned into him and threaded her fingers through his hair.

He covered the small swell of her abdomen with his large hand and looked up at her. "Think this one will be as easy as Alana's been?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I think the first one is supposed to be easy. Trick you into havin' more," she stated with a wink. "And it worked."

Matt shook his head and lightly smacked her on the bottom. "Get outta here, Mrs. Dillon." He listened to her laughter as she sauntered away from him. He glanced at his daughter. "Just me and you for a while," he told her and walked to the rug where she was sitting and babbling to Murphy. "Come on with me. You got eggs to crack, Lana."

"Dada," Alana squealed and pushed herself up to stand. She gave him a toothy grin and swiftly padded to him, throwing herself into his open arms and giggling madly as he swung her in the air.


He ambled into the sitting room with two mugs of piping hot coffee in one hand and a small plate in the other. He set the mugs onto the oak table and glanced at the redhead, joining her on the settee. "Kitty, did you make these?" he asked, picking up the heart-shaped queen cake slathered with vanilla icing.

"All three dozen," she answered and blew on the brew before taking a sip. Kitty slipped off her shoes and let out a sigh. She was grateful the party guests had left sooner than expected, and she could be off her feet for a while. Kitty frowned at the ache in her back and settled into the plush sofa cushions, glimpsing over at Festus lazily pushing Alana in her swing.

Doc wiped the icing from the corner of his mouth. "Where's that husband of yours?"

"He's putting that dollhouse together that I told someone not to buy for his granddaughter," Kitty replied with an arched accusatory brow.

The physician innocently beamed and tugged on his earlobe. "It's a grandfather's duty to spoil grandchildren, Kitty. I took an oath when she arrived." He glanced at Alana and warmly smiled at the adorable redhead. He chuckled at how she fussed with the hairband that matched her pink smocked, ruffled dress with bullions on the neck.

"Oh, I've heard that a time or two," she amiably chided. "Is that oath the same as that Hippocratic one you took?"

"It's better," he commented and pointed to the delicate gold chain around her neck. "Is that new?" he questioned.

"Mmhmm. It's my birthday present from Matt and Alana," she told him and gingerly hooked her thumb into the chain to show off the teardrop pendants. "It's a birthstone necklace."

He squinted, examining the four gemstones. Doc smiled warmly at the two amethysts. He knew they were for her and Alana, and the emerald was for Matt. He focused on the fourth jewel. "Ruby?"

Kitty placed her hand over her middle. "July."

"You and Matt gonna add any more to that necklace?"

"Doc," she muttered and rolled her eyes at him.

"Don't roll those eyes at me, Kitty. I wasn't sure if you and Matt would decide to have a spring and an autumn baby. You have a winter baby, and you're gonna have a summer baby."

She clucked her tongue since she hadn't made the seasonal connection. "Two is plenty," she decided. "I hope we can manage with a seventeen-month-old and a newborn."

"You will. I'll help the two of you, but I wouldn't count on that one," he remarked as the hillman's snoring reverberated through the parlor.

"Poor Festus," Kitty said. Her tone was laced with gratitude and sympathy. He'd been a great source of entertainment during Alana's birthday party. After cake was eaten and gifts were opened, Festus had kept the Roniger children occupied by letting them hop onto his back, crawling around on all fours and braying like a donkey for hours. Alana had latched onto his hand and led him around to nowhere in particular until she made him push her on the swing. He hadn't known what he was getting himself into with that task. The child thought she should be pushed until the end of time. Kitty noticed Alana yawn and rub at her eyes. She hoped she'd fall asleep before the swing stopped moving.

"Oh pshaw," Doc huffed and scrutinized the man in his best attire laid out on the floor using Alana's blanket as a pillow. "He is a remarkable specimen."

Kitty laughed at Doc's expression. "Leave him alone, Doc. He's earned a nap." She finished her coffee, startling at her baby's wailing. She chuckled at how quickly Festus bolted upright and scrambled onto his feet.

"Miss Kitty, I didn't do nothin' to her! I swear!" Festus hollered and delicately wiped Alana's tears with his sleeve. "It's all right now," he soothed.

"You did," Doc piped up.

"I did not, Doc!" he yelled over Alana's crying and winced at her increasing in volume cries. His eyes widened at how quickly the little girl had become red-faced. He lifted her out of the swing and gently bounced her in his arms to calm her. "It pains my ears and hurts my heart somethin' awful for you to cry like this, Miss Alana," he whispered as her shrill whine pierced his eardrum.

"You fell asleep and stopped pushing the swing!" Doc bellowed.

Kitty smacked the older man's arm. Her eyes drifted to Festus' panicked whiskered face since he couldn't calm the toddler. "Festus, bring her to me," she instructed softly.

"Miss Kitty, I didn't mean to upset her," Festus sputtered as Alana reached for her mother. He handed her over and ashamedly shuffled his boots against the floor. "Aunt Thede always said the best remedy for a twelve-year-old man is to cry his heart out. I reckon it ain't true for a one-year-old gal."

"It's all right, Festus. She needs a nap is all," Kitty explained and cradled Alana against her. Alana buried her face into her mother's chest, sniffling and whimpering. "You worked yourself all up, but mama's got you," she whispered, trailing her fingers up and down Alana's back. "Mama's got you," she repeated and stroked the back of her head.

"And she needed her mama," Festus murmured, watching in amazement as Alana slowed her crying and nestled into Kitty. He marveled at how quickly the soft whisperings and caresses lulled the toddler to sleep.

"Can Matthew get her to sleep that fast?"

"I can't," Matt stated as he returned to the sitting room. "Kitty has a magic touch," he disclosed and roguishly grinned as his wife's cheeks beautifully flushed.

"My grandma on my mama's side had a magic touch like Miss Kitty has. She had it real good," Festus twanged.

"Is that so?" Matt prodded and dropped into the oversized armchair.

"Sure did, Matthew. I reckon that's why she had fifteen youngins."

"For heaven's sake," Doc faintly muttered, dropping the last bite of his frosted cake and dumbfoundedly staring at the deputy.


She stood at the mahogany crib and leaned over, putting her elbows on the railing and gazing down at the slumbering child. Alana had thrown her blanket off. Her arms were stretched out. She had a leg up with her foot tucked under her other knee. "Just like your daddy," she whispered. Kitty put the blanket over the little redhead and traced her finger along Alana's cheek. She gasped in surprise and put her hand over her chest. "Matt, dammit," she mumbled.

"I didn't mean to scare you, honey," he apologized and rested his hands on her shoulders. "Come downstairs," he insisted. Alana had been put to bed an hour ago, and he'd patiently waited for his wife to join him in front of the fireplace.

"In a minute."

"She'll be all right in here."

"I'll come down in a minute."

Matt caught the edge to her voice. He pressed his lips to the crown of her head and smoothed his hands down her arms. "Kathleen, we agreed that Alana would move out of our room when she turned one."

"I know we agreed," she sniffled.

He puffed out a sigh and slithered his arms around her. Matt watched his little girl mumble in her sleep, and he wondered what she was dreaming about. "What's the matter?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Make me understand, honey," he implored and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Matt, she's not a baby anymore. She walks and talks. She feeds herself. She puts herself to sleep most of the time. I blinked, and she's not a baby anymore. She doesn't need me," she woefully finished and swept her fingers over the tears on her face. Kitty turned her head and put her hand up, effectively stopping her husband from speaking. "Don't, Matt. Don't tell me I'm overreactin'. Don't tell me she's supposed to grow up. I know she's supposed to, but I don't want her to do it so fast."

Matt brushed his lips against her jaw and held onto her tighter. "I wasn't, Kathleen. I was gonna ask if you wanted me to move her back into our room. Say the word, and I will," he offered and ignored the part of him that selfishly wanted her to say no. He tolerantly awaited her answer until he couldn't stand her silence. "Well?" he asked, letting his palms rest over the swell of her belly.

She placed her hands over his and let her head fall back against his shoulder. "No, Matt. As much as I hate it, she needs to stay in her own room from now on," she determined and turned around in his arms, facing him.

He failed to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and kissed the middle of her forehead. He glanced into the crib to make sure Alana was still soundly asleep. "I'll let you say goodnight again," he whispered and crept out of the bedroom. He treaded into the hallway and stopped short of the stairs, leaning against the wall. Matt reached out, tangling his fingers with hers and tugging her to him. "I forgot to say something to you, Kathleen."

"What?"

"Lana's always gonna need you. I know someone else that needs you," he spoke quietly.

"Oh? Would that be an uncommonly tall and ruggedly handsome United States Marshal?"

"It would," he answered, grasping her waist as her arms wound around his neck. Matt dipped his head and nuzzled his nose against hers. He heard her soft exhale and saw her lips part slightly. He touched his lips to hers and pressed his palm into the small of her back.

She whispered, "I'll just have to do something about that. I think we had a plan for quiet time in front of a fire," she recalled and led him down to the first floor, walking into the sitting room. Kitty ventured to the drink cart as he drifted to the curtains to close them. "Whiskey?" She heard his grunted reply and scrunched her nose as she poured. She jerked her head in his direction at his sharp expletive. "What happened?" she asked, eyebrows rising as she witnessed her husband hopping around and holding his foot.

"Stepped on a block," he answered, scathingly glaring at the wooden baby block and flopping onto the settee.

"This'll help," she said, handing him the short tumbler and smirking as he downed the amber liquid in one gulp. Kitty climbed onto him, settling her body in-between him and the back of the leather sofa. She wriggled to get comfortable.

"Kitty," he grumbled and pushed her bony elbow out of his ribs. "I'm gonna have to get my ribs taped between you and Lana." Matt shifted over slightly and allowed her to have more room.

"Sorry," she mumbled and pushed her copper fringe off her forehead, gazing at him through her long lashes. "You can't fool me, Matt. You wouldn't have it any other way," Kitty said, heaving a knitted blanket off the back of the couch and spreading it over them. She molded her body to his and put her head on his chest.

"I never could fool you," Matt spoke gently, relishing the sensation of her manicured nails trailing across the cotton of his shirt and dawdling circles over his heart. "Would you have it any other way?" he wondered aloud and toyed with the curled ends of her tresses.

Kitty shifted against him, propping an elbow on his torso and putting her chin in her palm. "Not any other way," she solemnly confessed, biting into her bottom lip.

His dark brows furrowed with bafflement. He tucked an auburn twist behind her ear. "But the losses." He still remembered how excited he was when she told him about the first pregnancy. He had been ready to be a father in his opinion. He remembered the hurt of finding out about the second baby and losing the second chance to be a father in one fell swoop.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and drew in a breath, exhaling slowly. "Matt, I wanted those babies. I'll always want those babies, but," she hesitated, momentarily closing her eyes and feeling his fingers comfortingly squeeze hers. Kitty opened her eyes and locked onto his compassionate blue orbs. "I – we – weren't ready."

"We were," he asserted. He narrowed his eyes as she shook her head. "We were ready, Kathleen."

"No," she answered huskily and flattened her palms over his chest to calm him. "Matt, hear me out," his wife requested. "We weren't prepared to have our lives change the way it has now. You wouldn't have hired a deputy, and you wouldn't have taken two months off to be with me back then. You barely let Chester step in. Dodge needed you more. I would have sold the Long Branch, and I would have regretted it. I would have driven myself crazy sitting at home, raising babies, and worrying about you."

He thought he knew the nuances of his lady after ten years, but the streams of her raw heart and deep mind left him wordless. He hated to admit that she was dead-on. They were a little older and a lot wiser and in a better place to balance work and family. He wouldn't be the father he was to Alana if it hadn't been for the first two. He hated the guilt he felt over the insight.

She searched his eyes and knew he was struggling to find words to say. Sometimes it was easier to nail water to a tree than to get Matt Dillon to tap into his emotions. "I know what you can't say, and it's fine that you can't. Just know that I understand what you're thinking," Kitty crooned, inching upward and staring at him with misty eyes. "It took me a long time to understand what our babies did for us. They made us stronger…brought us closer, Matt. I appreciate that sweet little girl sleepin' upstairs and the boy or girl kickin' in my belly more because of the ones we lost, and I love you more than I ever thought I could seein' you be a daddy to Alana," she finished.

He touched her face, letting his tough-skinned fingertips smear the teardrops on her cheek. She'd reminded him that the bravest step to take was by way of going inward. "You've given me more than I'd ever imagined I'd have in life. I love you," he murmured.

Kitty inclined into his touch and brushed her lips against his. She nestled into him and resumed making circles over his heart.

"Don't you wonder what they would look like? What they'd be like?" he asked, tucking his chin to the top of her head.

"I had a dream days after Alana's birth," she divulged and stuck her icy toes under his calves as she looked up at him. "Two girls sitting in our bed with Saoirse. The girls had curls the color of chestnuts and eyes as blue as a Spring sky. The oldest had your crooked grin," Kitty told him and ran her nail along his bottom lip. "The youngest had the shape of your eyes. She was holdin' Alana with Saoirse's help. Both were fascinated by her red hair and how tiny she was. Saoirse said she'd take care of them." Her voice cracked like one of the twigs in the hearth. She turned her face into his button-up and cried softly.

Matt rubbed his hand up and down his wife's back, consoling her without a word and picturing the children she'd dreamed of. He closed his eyes and listened to the crackling and sizzling of the logs in the fire until he startled from a block of oak thudding against the firebox. His eyes darted around the sitting room, gathering his bearings and wondering how much time had passed since he'd drifted off. "Kathleen," he whispered, looking down at her and realizing she'd fallen asleep.

In the quiet, Matt pulled the blanket to her shoulders and stared at the toy books and wooden blocks scattered all over the floor. He regarded his auburn-haired wife as she peacefully slumbered in his arms and silently thanked God for how He'd made her.


Author's Note: Thank you to all that read and took the much appreciated time to review! I'm glad that my first Gunsmoke fanfiction was well received.