UNWANTED – PART 5
It was with a heavy heart Leo had left P3, shortly after Chris had, and orbed to a secluded corner of the Heavens to reflect on everything that had happened. Chris had seemed very unhappy that his secret was out, and Leo was trying to figure out why the situation had upset the kid as much as it did. He knew Chris must have had his reasons for keeping his identity hidden, but did that really explain why he'd reacted the way he did? With so much anger and hurt?
Admittedly, none of them had been treating Chris very kindly during the time he'd been with them. Leo was especially to blame for the awful way they'd acted towards the kid, and he felt sick to his stomach thinking about how much it all must have affected Chris.
"You're not family."
Leo grimaced as he remembered the harsh words he'd so uncaringly spoken to Chris - to his own son. Even though he hadn't known who Chris was at the time, it was inexcusable to treat anyone the way he had. But to tell his future son that he wasn't part of the family… man, those words must have hurt Chris so much. Leo had even physically attacked the kid when he'd returned from Valhalla. His heart dropped when he remembered he'd hit Chris – Leo, who'd rather die than cause any harm on his family, had hit his own boy. He knew he had some major things to make up for when he saw Chris again. If the kid would even talk to him.
Leo hadn't tried to call for Chris again. It had been obvious from the way Chris practically ran out of the club that he really needed some space. In hindsight, Leo realized he hadn't respected Chris' wish to be left alone after their talk at the bar, so Leo knew he was the sole reason for all the commotion that had happened at P3.
After Chris had left, the security guards had been very unhappy with the way Leo threatened to get them fired – one of them still had a bloody nose from when Chris had elbowed him in the face. Leo didn't care much at all about the security guards - not after the way they'd harshly manhandled Chris in the club, which had kicked Leo's paternal instincts into overdrive. When he'd witnessed Chris get attacked, Leo had felt the same type of anger he also did when someone threatened to hurt Wyatt. It was overwhelming, really, how quickly Chris had gotten under his skin. It had happened pretty much the moment Leo had known the truth about who Chris really was. It was hard to explain how that worked, given the fact that Chris technically wasn't even born yet. But it was a sort of instant love – like when you held your newborn baby for the first time. It was both scary and wonderful at the same time.
Leo felt a bit concerned about the amount of anger Chris seemed to carry. Leo couldn't really blame Chris for reacting the way he did, but he did wonder where all that anger came from. Was there more to the story than Chris led on? Probably. The kid had been so closed off and secretive ever since he'd shown up in their time. Leo had caught a few glimpses behind Chris' stoic façade during the months Chris had been there, but he'd never been able to fully see past that mask until today. Leo had been blown away by how much Chris reminded him of Piper when she was upset. He'd also noticed the way Chris clenched his jaw, the exact same way Leo did when he got angry. He had Piper's dark hair and her temper, and Leo's green eyes and his stubbornness. He was as determined, dedicated, and opinionated as the rest of the Halliwells. It was so obvious Chris belonged to them that Leo felt embarrassed he'd been too blind to notice it. The signs all had been there, right in front of their noses, practically screaming at them that Chris was his and Piper's son.
"Why didn't I see it sooner…?" Leo mumbled to himself.
The answer was as clear as the white colors in the Heavens surrounding him though: Leo just hadn't been looking closely enough.
Leo decided to give Chris a little time to settle down before he would try to get the kid to talk to him again. He'd left Chris a note in the backroom of P3 (a little disappointed he didn't run into his son in the process), telling the kid to take a breather for a few days and that Leo would help the Charmed Ones and watch over Wyatt in the meanwhile. Whether Chris got the note or not, Leo couldn't be sure, but when Piper called Chris for help two days later, Leo was the only one to show up to assist her.
"Where's Chris?" Piper asked as soon as Leo orbed in.
"Busy. What's going on?" Leo responded, noticing all the magical creatures occupying the manor.
"Busy with what?" Piper wanted to know. Leo should have known that the short answer wasn't enough to satisfy his (former) wife.
"Other charges." He lied, hoping she would buy it. "I took him off your account again."
"Our account?"
"You know what I mean." Leo said, then noticed the big stone with a sword in the middle of the room. "Whoa, is that what I think it is?"
When Piper dropped her questions about Chris and instead started talking about the current situation, Leo felt both relieved and disappointed at the same time. He was relieved because it meant he didn't have to elaborate on his fabricated story about Chris' whereabouts, but he was also disappointed by how quickly Piper had let the matter go. Did she really care that little about losing Chris as their whitelighter – temporarily or not? Had the kid not done enough to warrant just a little bit of sympathy or protest from her? Leo wanted to tell Piper everything, but he needed to talk to Chris first – maybe find out why it'd been so important to the kid to keep his identity a secret this entire time. So, Leo kept his mouth shut for now, even though it pained him greatly to do so.
Phoebe and Paige didn't ask about Chris at all when Leo orbed into Phoebe's office to tell them Piper needed their help. Throughout the whole ordeal with the Lady of the Lake, the Charmed Ones almost dying and Mordaunt trying to kill Wyatt with Excalibur, Chris' name didn't come up either. Not even once. Leo was beginning to understand why Chris thought no one liked him or cared about him. He could only imagine how lonely the kid must have felt the entire time being there – surrounded by his family and yet completely alone in this time he didn't belong in. Leo thought about all of this while he repaired the manor's washer, the sink, the cable, and the toilet. Those were all things he at least knew how to fix. The situation with Chris was a whole different matter.
After helping Piper tuck Wyatt in for the night, Leo stood by his son's crib for a while, watching Wyatt sleep. He didn't know when (or how it was even possible for it to happen, now that he and Piper weren't together anymore), but someday, Wyatt would have a little brother. A brave one who would travel back in time to stop evil from harming his big brother.
Leo swallowed around the lump that suddenly made his throat feel tight. He couldn't stop thinking about Chris, all alone and hurting, out there in San Francisco somewhere. Or maybe he was tracking down demons in the underworld - or he could be stuck in another time period, without Leo by his side to help him out.
Leo's eyebrows furrowed in worry as he thought about all the possibilities of Chris' whereabouts. Was he a bad father for not having tried harder to get Chris to talk to him? Had it been a mistake to leave Chris alone these past days when the kid had been so upset? Had something happened to Chris while Leo and the sisters had been busy handling dark knights, evil sorcerers, and magical swords in stones? The thoughts were driving him crazy, so Leo finally decided Chris had been giving enough time on his own. It was time to find the kid.
Leo closed his eyes and let his senses spread wide in search of his youngest son. It didn't take him long to sense Chris' presence on top of the Golden Gate bridge, which was quite a relief. Leo had feared Chris had decided to take a trip to the underworld, where Leo wouldn't have been able to reach him.
He reopened his eyes and took a last glance at Wyatt before he bent down and placed a kiss on top of the sleeping toddler's head.
"I'm gonna bring your brother home now, Wyatt." Leo whispered. "That's a promise."
He then disappeared in a bundle of blue orbs.
The sky was dark and full of stars when Leo reappeared on top of the Golden Gate bridge a few seconds later. His shirt fluttered in the wind, as his eyes searched and quickly found the reason he was there. Chris was sitting on top of one of the cable-suspensions - eyes closed, and arms wrapped around his bent knees. Leo's heart clenched painfully when he felt the sadness that seemed to emanate from his youngest son.
He figured Chris must have sensed his presence, because the kid opened his eyes and turned his head to look at him a moment later. Leo noticed the bluish bump on the right side of Chris' forehead, which must have been the result of Chris' confrontation with the security guards at P3. It took all of Leo's willpower to stop himself from running to Chris and heal him right away.
"Hey." Leo said carefully instead.
"What part of 'leave me alone' did you not understand?" Chris asked with a sigh. His voice was a bit rusty, as if it hadn't been used in a while. He didn't sound angry or upset – just resigned.
"I think I've kept my distance long enough, Chris." Leo said. "Can we talk?"
"There's nothing to talk about." Chris answered.
"I think there is. Quite a bit, actually." Leo walked a bit closer. He wasn't far from Chris, but he made sure to keep enough space between the two of them to avoid making the kid feel smothered. Leo stared at the lights coming from the tiny cars that crossed the bridge far down underneath them, but all his senses were tuned in on Chris.
"You know, this spot is a great place to think." Leo started, attempting to break the ice. "I've used it as my sanctuary for years."
"I know. I used to come here a lot too." Chris revealed.
"With me?" Leo asked. He imagined him and Chris having a nice father-son moment on this spot in the future, but the image was broken when Chris huffed as if Leo had said something ridiculous.
"That would be a big no." Chris said. Leo had a feeling there was more to the story, but Chris didn't elaborate. "Is this what you came here to talk about? The bridge?"
Leo shook his head. He needed to get back on track while he still had Chris' attention.
"No, not at all." Leo replied and glanced at Chris. "First of all, I want to apologize for the way I – we – have been treating you these past months. I know that wasn't fair to you. You've been working so hard to keep Wyatt safe and we… really haven't made it easy for you. I wish I'd known from the beginning you were my son." He noticed Chris winced at the last part. "I wouldn't have been so distrustful of you if I'd only known."
"Would you have believed me if I'd told you straight away?" Chris asked. One of his eyebrows lifted in a skeptical way, and Leo could once again see the resemblance between Chris and Piper.
"I don't know." Leo admitted. "But I'm sure you could've found a way to prove it somehow, if you'd wanted to."
Chris didn't say anything. He wasn't looking at Leo either. He was just staring straight ahead with a sad expression on his face, while the wind played with his long bangs.
"Why didn't you try to tell us, Chris? Why have you been keeping this a secret for all this time?"
"It was just easier that way." Chris replied in a soft voice.
"Easier how?" Leo wanted to know.
"Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay? You wouldn't understand anyway."
"Try me." Leo urged.
"No." Chris' eyebrows furrowed, and he shot Leo a dark look before he slid down from his seat. "This conversation is over."
"Chris -"
"No! You never listen!" Chris suddenly shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in what Leo guessed was frustration. "You never have! You've never been interested in anything I had to say, so why start now?"
Leo's forehead wrinkled in confusion as he tried to make sense of the words. He hadn't been Chris' biggest fan since the kid had arrived in this time, but Chris had certainly not displayed much fondness for Leo either. Chris had shown him a lot of resentment from the minute he got there, and Leo now realized that Chris had probably brought that with him from the future.
"Why are you so mad at me?" He asked and tilted his head a bit to the side while he tried to read Chris' reaction. The kid was clearly getting upset again, and Leo really wanted to get to the bottom of this issue.
"I already told you!" Chris snapped.
"No Chris, I don't think you have. Not all of it, at least." Leo said as Chris started pacing back and forth – as much as it was possible to do so on the narrow bridge top. "This anger you're carrying, it goes way deeper than that. Way deeper than anything that's happened these past months. I obviously did something to make you hate me, so please tell me what it is - what I did to you."
"It doesn't matter." Chris' voice was trembling now.
"It does to me, Chris. You're my son. I think I deserve to know what I did that's so bad." Leo said in a soft voice.
Chris stopped pacing and turned to look at Leo. His eyes were shiny with tears, and the sheer amount of pain Leo spotted in those green eyes almost took his breath away.
"You were never there for me." Chris suddenly said, releasing a shaky breath. "You were there for everybody else. For mum, Wyatt, half the world, but you were never there for me. You didn't have the time."
Leo swallowed hard and had to look away from Chris' sad face for a second while he processed the words. How could he – or at least the future version of him – not find the time to be there for his youngest son? How could he make Chris feel so unimportant, so miserable? How could he do that to him - to his own son?
"I'm so sorry, Chris." Leo said, blinking back tears. "I don't… I don't even understand how I could do that to you. That's not... That's not the kind of father I thought I was going to be. That's not the kind of father I want to be."
"Yeah well… It is what it is." Chris shrugged his shoulders. He sniffled and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.
"So… maybe you came back from the future not just to save Wyatt. Maybe you came back to save us too?" Leo asked in a hopeful voice, but Chris shook his head. The motion caused a tear to escape from the corner of his eye; Chris wiped it away.
"I doubt it." He answered with a painful expression on his face.
Chris began to disembody in a swirl of orbs, but Leo quickly stepped forward and put a hand on Chris' shoulder, keeping him from orbing away.
"Is that why you shipped me off to Valhalla? Because you hate me so much?" Leo asked before Chris could say anything. He felt the kid startle at the words.
"I eh…" Chris began and paused, looking away from Leo's scrutinizing eyes. He looked a bit ashamed. "I kinda needed you out of the way for a bit, but I… And I didn't mean for you and mom to… I'm sorry about that."
So, Leo had been right from the beginning; Chris had been the one to blame for the whole Valhalla ordeal after all. Had Leo known the truth about that just a few days ago, he would have been furious. Who knew what he would have done to the kid? Now though, it didn't really matter to Leo anymore. He wasn't angry at Chris. But it did pain him to know that Chris had been the catalyzer to his and Piper's failed relationship.
"I just hope you didn't jeopardize your own existence in all of this, Chris." Leo sighed.
He removed his hand from Chris' shoulder to allow his son to orb away if he needed to. To his surprise though, Chris remained where he was.
They were both silent for a bit. Leo was the first one to break the silence.
"Can I…?" He pointed at the bump on Chris' forehead, which had pained Leo from the moment he got there. Chris visibly swallowed and looked a bit unsure, but then he silently nodded. Relieved that Chris hadn't rejected his help, Leo lifted his hand and healed Chris' forehead with the warm golden glow from his palm. When the bump was gone, Leo pulled his hand back with a satisfied smile. That was another thing he at least knew how to fix.
Chris remained silent but observing, and he still didn't orb away. He was fidgeting a little with the sleeve of his shirt, and Leo noticed that Chris' bright green eyes still seemed a bit wet. He wanted to envelop the kid in a warm embrace, but he was certain Chris wouldn't allow it or appreciate it.
"I can't wait to see Piper's face when she hears you're our son." Leo said, smiling at the thought.
That seemed to get Chris' attention as the kid's head quickly shot up and he stared wide-eyed at Leo.
"What? No! You can't tell her." He exclaimed.
"Why not? Chris, she deserves to know." Leo tried to reason with the kid.
"I don't want her to know. She…" Chris sighed and washed a hand down his face. He suddenly looked tired. "She doesn't like me. She'd be disappointed if she found out I'm her son."
"No, she won't. How can you even say that?" Leo asked, incredulously. Did Chris really think so little of himself?
"I've seen the way she looks at me."
"It's only because she's unsure of your intentions." Leo said and continued before Chris could protest. "Listen, I'm sure you know our family history, which is why you should also be aware of the reason why we're so distrustful of anyone who's not – or whom we don't know – is family. There's been so many times where we've trusted the wrong people, and it takes the toll on even the strongest person. Like Piper. Evil is everywhere which sometimes makes it hard to notice all the good… even when he's standing right in front of you."'
Leo paused for a second, hoping the meaning of his words would sink in.
"So, you should tell her who you are. She'll love you."
Chris winced. He somehow seemed more upset by the words, which didn't make sense to Leo at all. Did Chris not want to be loved by his mother? Did he maybe resent her the same way he did Leo?
"That's even worse…" Chris muttered.
"You'll have to explain that to me, Chris, 'cause it doesn't make any sense."
"I can't. I've already told you too much. It could change the future in even worse ways."
They both sighed in frustration and crossed their arms at the same time. Chris quickly dropped his arms back down, while Leo tried to hide his smile. Chris was his boy alright.
"As I see it, there are three options: You tell her, I tell her, or we tell her together." Leo then said.
"Or how about the fourth option: No one tells her anything!" Chris fired back. It was getting windier on the bridge now. Chris' hair was flying in every direction, but Leo could still see the piercing glare Chris sent him through his fluttering bangs. Behind the kid, a shooting star zipped across the sky. Chris didn't see it, but Leo did, and he secretly made a wish for his family to be whole and happy again – with Chris included.
"I mean it, son. Either you tell her yourself, or I will tell her." Leo declared.
Chris seemed to be anything but happy with that statement if the intensified glare was anything to go by. He opened his mouth, most likely to argue with Leo's decision, when a particular hard wind slammed into them from the side, knocking them both off balance.
"Whoa!"
Leo was closer to the ledge than Chris was and, for a second, he thought he was going to fall. Or he would have if an invisible force hadn't grabbed onto him and pulled him back into safety. Leo peeked down at his feet that were now safely planted on the orange metal again – then stared wide-eyed up at Chris who slowly lowered the arm that had been stretched out towards Leo.
"Telekinesis." Leo breathed out. "Just like -"
"- Aunt Prue, I know." Chris finished.
"Incredible." Leo looked at Chris in awe. "What else can you do?"
"I'm not telling." Chris answered, but a genuine smile slowly spread on his face, and Leo couldn't help but chuckle. He was sure Chris would be quite a handful when he grew up. Leo couldn't wait to be a part of that. He would make damn sure he was there to witness it all this time around.
Leo wouldn't have been hurt if he'd fallen off the bridge. He could have just orbed away the minute he was airborne. He knew that and Chris knew that too. But once again, Chris had just reacted - exactly like he'd done when he'd rescued Leo from the dinosaur, or when he'd stepped in front of the bullet and got shot. Maybe all of this meant that, deep down, Chris did love him after all. Maybe it wasn't too late to fix things between them. Maybe there was still hope for a brighter future – one where Leo was there for Chris too.
First things first though, Piper needed to know who Chris really was. Leo just needed to convince Chris that they were all worthy of his trust.
To Be Continued...
