It's now the next day as my mom is taking me to my therapist who is further in town near the city. I was feeling slightly tired since I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night but it was quite a long sleep.

Today is tuesday and I have to miss school today, but maybe I could rejoin school later on, is possible if my mom allow it.

"So, are you nervous simon?"

"Huh?"

I was caught off guard, I was lost in thought and mom said something, I didn't quite catch that.

"What was it?"

"I asked if you're nervous?"

"Oh, uh not really. Just find it strange."

"Hm? Strange how?"

"Well, is just...I'm so used to purnell it doesn't feel right to have somebody new as my therapist."

"Oh, I see. I understand it is different and hard to take in, but I'm afraid Dr Purnell can't move from home to japan or so I believe. But maybe you might like this doctor."

I sighed softly.

"I don't know, it might take some time getting used to."

"I understand, these things take time."

We continue in silence as we soon reach our destination as my mom help me in my chair as she push me to the entrance which thankfully has a handicap slop. We were inside the waiting room, nobody was around, only empty chairs and a desk with magazines on it.

My mom was checking me in while I bring myself near the corner as it took a few seconds for my mom to check me in, afterwards she head back to my side and took a seat.

"Well, it won't be long but he's with somebody right now."

"Okay."

We waited for a while until the door open up near us, we saw two people walking out as I saw who it was, it was sayori.

"What?"

I said as my mom was wondering who she was.

"Hm? Do you know her?"

I was about to answer until sayori look at our direction and saw us, she was quite surprise to see us but she quickly look away and walk away as the girl behind her notice sayori reaction and look at us. She was curious on who we were as she follow after her.

"Sayori do you know them?"

They left the building as the man in a ordinary attire walk out and said.

"Simon henriksson?"

I roll off as he look at me and put on a smile.

"Ah, hello simon." He wave his hand to me to follow.

"Come on."

I follow after as my mom said her goodbyes as I was following right behind him as he open and hold the door for me.

"It's nice to meet you simon."

I didn't reply since I didn't know how to feel about him, so far he's being friendly but that should be expected. He move the chair in front of his desk as I scroll in front of his desk as he took a seat.

He grab a checkboard and briefly look through it.

"Alright simon before we begin I want to go through some basic information about you."

I wasn't expecting this at first but went along with it.

"Okay."

"Alright, so your 18 years old right?"

"Yes."

He nod his head while staring at the board.

"Okay, still in school, living with mother. And crippled from the waist down."

He briefly look at me and at the board.

"Alright, let me introduce myself."

He looks at me as I stare at him, he was a middle age man with orange hair and brown eyes, he was rather average looking and had fair skin.

"My name's Takashi yamada. But if you want you can just call me dr yamada."

I nod my head, he then pick up the board and grab a pen.

"Alright, is there anything you want to discuss, anything you want to say?"

I thought about it but I don't have anything.

"I don't have anything right now."

he wrote something in his checkboard and said.

"Okay, so simon I read some information about the conversation you have with your previous doctor and the cognitive therapy you are under going. Is there any new details you want to add?"

I thought about it but don't have much. I simply shake my head unsure.

No, not really."

He nods his head and quickly wrote something in his checkboard and looks back at me.

"Okay, simon. How are you been? Any changes? Are you still taking your prescribed pills and do you need any new refills?"

I thought about it, i look at him and said.

"Well... A lot has changed since i've moved here. But, honestly i was expecting it to not go well, i'm surprise that things are going pretty well... And, no i don't need refills yet."

he nods his head, understanding as he wrote in his checkboard.

"alright, so how's things at school? Is it going good for you, or going bad? Made any friends?"

He look curious as i thought about it.

"Yeah, school is going fine, really. I was having a rough time getting used to it the first few days but...I'm doing better now. I made some friends, i joined a club, a literature club, not too long ago. They are pretty welcoming besides one of them, but they grow used to me as i was with her. Things are going well then what i expected."

He simply nod his head again then write on his checkboard, he then said.

"Okay, That's good to hear, how is home life for you? Are you setting in well? any complains you want to say?"

I thought about it, remember somethings that seem almost non distinct.

"Well, not really. Home seems okay, nothing wrong or different, other than my room being small and makes traversing a little difficult. But other than that, it seems normal..."

I thought; what does that even mean? That my life back at my home country seem, typical like it is now? My thoughts were interrupted by my doctor speaking up.

"Okay, that's good... And one more thing before we get started. I hadn't got many information about your personal life, like family members, friends and anything else about you. I read that you seem to be a very private person, is that correct?"

I looked at him, unsure on giving him any answers but i seem, indecisive at the moment.

"Uh... Y-yes, i am..."

I avoid looking at him, i notice him gently nodding but i wasn't looking at his expression, he continue speaking.

"Okay, i understand, everyone likes to keep to themselves, but when you keep to many secrets. It tends to eat at you, making you more isolated and less open. But, you telling me about your school life, home life and that you meeting new people means that somethings are improving and making you open. So simon, can you tell me what has been making you more, open and sociable?"

He lean in closer, almost interested and curious like i'm some sort of experiment. I didn't know how to feel about it, but i thought about that, remembering about my pass days, and time i have with them.

"Well, i... Just want a friend. I don't have many friends, if at all back at my home country. I only have one friend, sophie. She and i get along well, we have somethings in common and she was, alone like me. So, i was lured to her by that."

I stop for a moment, was in thoughts about my time with her and how i said my goodbyes. She was happy to know about this, and wished me luck. I also thought about my life as well, being alone, isolated and staying away from most people.

"Okay, is there anything else you would like to say?"

I look at him, seeing him curious and waited for my answers.

"Yeah... I, don't talk to many people as well, since they seem to ignore me and give me attitude sometimes. Is like i can't even have a good conversation with anyone without them thinking i'm some sort of, nuisense to them. So, i tend to avoid some people, which in term cost my chances with potentially good people that i could be with. And, sometimes i don't know the words to say to some people."

He nod slowly while looking away, deep in thought as he pick up his board and spoke while writing.

"Alright..." He stops writing and look at me.

"Simon, it seem that things have improve since you came here, i notice it. But it seem that i don't have the full picture of why you have anxiety and what make you sad."

He pause for a moment and put the board to the side.

"So, let's start with your parents, do you have any siblings? How is your relationship with them?"

I wonder why he asking me about my family.

"Uhh, i don't have a father. He left when i was barely able to walk. My mother never explain properly why, but other than that he travels a lot. As for siblings; I'm a only child."

"Okay. Seeing that you don't not having a father explain a lot, no dad being there means that you don't have a proper father figure in your life, and barely anyone with you at home makes you lonely, including if your mom is out at work."

He grab the board and start writing. I was quiet, thinking about what he said; he's right. I've been alone my entire life.

"So simon, how does it feel to be alone?"

I look at him, pondering that question and already know the answer.

"Doc, i told myself, over and over. That being lonely does things to me. I always feel like shit, bitter and angry that i can't even have friends, a social life. All i do is stay home, doing nothing with myself other than keeping myself pre occupy with things i have. Wishing i have something like friends, activities and a reason to be alive in my life, but i don't. All i have, is mom. I don't even have my legs anymore."

I sighed briefly and look down at the table, unable to look at him, as i was getting emotional, my throat was tight as my breathing was brief.

"My situation worsen since then. I couldn't stay in my apartment, that is close to my old doctor's workplace. The neighbors were shit, they didn't care about my situation nor my privacy. I at times have trouble sleeping, having vivid nightmare that i can barely remember. The pills, helps. But, sometimes i find it hard to know if it's helping me or if i'm getting used to it. I have, been seeing things too. I can't make out what it was, and can't say if is just my eyes playing tricks with me. Every night, i go out by myself just to... Keep my mind occupy and move around. Staying at home is boring at times and my thoughts were, bothering me sometimes."

I stop for a moment, still unable to look at my doctor's face.

"Okay, i just want to say is thank you for telling me all this. Right now, i have a lot to understand about yourself, and that you being alone could be the main reason why you're depressed. But even then, knowing that you've been seeing things is a point of concern."

He grab his board and wrote something, he looks at me.

"So you said that the pills you said you've been taking is helping but you're getting used to the chemicals that is affecting you. They're called; Citalopram."

He looks at me to know.

"Is that correct?"

I nod my head.

"It is."

He nod his head and look back at it briefly.

"I see... Simon, i notice that you've have an extra dose in milligrams, how has it affect you once you took them?"

I thought about it, remember how it make me feel.

"It, calms me, makes me drowsy and weak. I also been seeing things more afterwards, but. I can't remember them that often. But, thankfully they have been less since then."

He seem nearly alarm by that and his face relaxed.

"Wow, as i was expecting. It seem to cause you some added affect from the heavy dose. The high amount you suppose to have is 40, but you have a bit more than that. I need to look at your family history to see any more information i can get, i believe there's more that i'm missing."

He start writing again, i was surprise to hear that, he's going to look at my family history. Is he going to know more about my mom, my dad and anything else? I feel like i'm a suspect or something.

"Okay, i'm afraid we're almost out of time but i got to asked you this simon. Have you ever have a moment of self hatred that harms you? Or ever have thoughts of... You know, ending your life?"

I thought about it but my face expression said it all, if i was playing poker i would be the worst player, cause i can't keep my emotion to myself. I grieve at the thought of it and was disappointed myself.

"Yes doctor, on more than one occasion."

He seem a bit disturbed by that but wrote in his board, he was quiet and breathe through his noise and look at me.

"Alright, thank you for all the information you've giving to me simon. I have a lot on my plate and i will do everything in my power to help you, but the real person who can help you is yourself. Or so it may seem."

He looks at me with sincere look of care, it actually caught my attention.

"Simon, it seems you have good friends at the club you're in. Stay close to them, help them when you need too, is not just about yourself. Is always good to help someone in need, it gives life meaning, after all."

He smiled which soon relaxed afterwords as he put his board down and shift in his chair.

"Thank you for coming simon, i will be seeing you the next week so we can talk more about yourself, your currant situation and anything that's happening. I will be calling your doctor to know more of what he can give me, and ideas that he can supplies."

He got up and said.

"May i help you out of my room so i can see your mother?"

I look at him, i thought about it and exhale through my nose.

"Sure."

I look at him when saying it, he seem happy to hear that as he went around and push me out of his office.

"Alright, let's go."

We left his room and soon in the lobby to see a few more people sitting in the chairs, separated while looking at us in interest. My mother got up and head to us.

"Well, you must be miss henriksson."

He let out his hand as she shake it while saying.

"I am, is nice to see you doctor."

"My name is takashi yamada but, dr yamada is what i go by professionally."

He smile humbly as my mom was the same as well, and giggle slightly.

"Alright, how did my son go?"

He nod and his smile was small but noticeable.

"He's informative and helpful, which i and many of my colleague will find helpful to know about and get to know how to help him. "

He still have the smile which made my mom relived to hear.

"Thank you doctor."

"Yes, let me carry this on and get to what i want to say. I will be calling you to get some info from yourself, and other personal details that may help with simon goal to getting better. If that's okay with you?"

She seem almost surprise to hear that.

"Ah... Well, if is to help with my son, then yes. I will be telling you any details you need."

She smile which was odd, almost like she wants to know more.

"Okay, that's great. So, my assist over there will be giving you some additional information. Is good to meet you and i'm looking forward to having you two back again."

He looks at me.

"Good bye simon, have a good day, you two."

He look at her while saying that last bit and walk away and look at one of his patients and called out their name. My mother went and get the info about my next appointment and we soon left and head back home.

While on our way back my mom was talking to me, i was pondering what happen in there, what we talked about. So far, a surprising good expression i feel about him, he seem like someone that might help me, but at the same time he seem to be pushing me forward than any. My mom spoke up, gaining my attention.

"Simon?"

I look at her, she seem concerned.

"Were you day dreaming?"

I thought of what to say.

"Well, not really. Was just, thinking..."

"Oh, i see. I was asking how you feel about him? Is he like purnell or different than him?"

"He's...Different, in a good way. I think i'm going to be comfortable with him."

"That's great to hear simon, i'm happy to hear that."

I look forward, we were close to our home as we pass the other neighborhoods as i look to my right, seeing pass my mom and seeing the row of houses going by while my mom was speaking.

My thoughts went on sayori, i remember that she was there, at the lobby after seeing dr yamada. She can't have issues, she doesn't seem like somebody who has problems. If she does, what she's bothered by?

"Simon."

My mom said a bit more annoyed but not too mad.

"You weren't listening again, i understand that you have a lot on your mind but... I just want to know what you and your doctor talk about?"

I look at her, then away. I was trying to understand that myself.

"We just... Talk about basic things, then talk about, why i was sad... I, told him a lot than what i was expecting."

"Oh..."

She was quiet as she turn to our neighborhood, our home was close as she parked in our lot.

"Well. Simon, all i have to say that you did good today. I feel like we're making progress than we did back at home. I never thought that moving made wonders for us. I was expecting the worst when we got here, but it proved me wrong."

She smiled in relief as she look at me, i wasn't trying to look at her, but i did, seeing her sweet smile.

"Chin up, we're home."

She unbuckled herself and unbuckle me and got out, got me out and put me in my wheelchair.


After a long while my mother wanted me to help her out with preparing dinner, she told me to cut some vegetables as i did so. My mind was off about my appointment, my mom was preparing the meat as i was nearly finished with cutting the vegetables, my mother compliment me on how well i'm doing, i'm just glad i learned from the best. I soon finished cutting them as a doorbell ring, catching me and my mother attention.

"Huh?"

She look at where the door is and head to it, curious on who it could be as i roll myself near the doorway leading to the entry way as my mom open the door and i heard a familiar voice.

"Hi, i came here to see simon, we go to the same school."

I recognize that sweet, kid like voice from anywhere and i was shocked to know it was sayori. I roll into view as my mother was talking to her.

"Oh, you're one of my son-"

Sayori saw me and smiled brightly, my mother notice her reaction and she glance over her shoulder to see me.

"Hey simon, i know this might be a bad time but i wanted to say hi."

My mom look back at her.

"Uhm, do you want to come inside?"

"uhmm..."

She seem unsure as her smile was weak, she seem conflicted on going in.

"I would but i don't have enough time, i just wanted to say hi to simon."

I wonder what she's really doing here, my mom seem clueless at the moment and said.

"Okay, may i know your name?"

"Sayori ma'am."

"Sayori, is nice to meet one of my son's classmate and friend. It seem he already made a good friend. If you ever want to come by and see him, then you're welcome too."

She seem content with her as she smiled.

"Alright, thank you ma'am."

She look at me and wave at me.

"Bye simon, i'll see you at school."

She turns and walk away almost in a skip as i roll closer to my mom, i want to know why she came here.

"Excuse me mom, i need to talk with sayori."

She was surprise of sort and moved aside.

"Oh, okay."

I roll down my porch and head to sayori who was already on the sidewalk, walking away a few feet away from me as i call out to her.

"Sayori!"

She stopped and didn't look at me for a second, she turned back at me with a curious expression.

"Hm? What is it simon?"

I roll closer to her until i was a feet away from her, she noticeable took a step back to give herself some space.

"Sayori, why you came to my home?"

She was quiet, she seem like she didn't know what to say and was a bit fidgeted.

"Ehh, i-i told you i came here to say hi, nothing else. Is there something you want to say?"

She seem concerned in a worried and sad way, i was a bit uncomfortable and wonder why she's sad and acting strange.

"Yeah, sayori. Why were you at the therapist place?"

She was sad to hear this, she seem like she can't hide this, if she will then i will not believe anything she'll say.

"Okay... I-i, i was..."

She couldn't even say the words she want to say, i notice that she was getting emotional and looked like she's going to shred some tears. I need to do something but, i don't know the right words to say.

"Sayori?"

"I... You shouldn't have seen me there, i came early because i didn't want anyone to know me. You weren't suppose to see me there, i was there with my mom..."

She seem like she's trying to come up with something but have trouble trying to come up with the words.

"Sayori, i... Y-you don't need to tell me. I'm sorry for asking, i just... Want to know why you were, at the therapy?"

She couldn't hold any tears as some escape from her eyes and slide down her cheeks. Her mouth quiver as she look away, closed her eyes and sniffed, she opens them and couldn't look at me.

"Simon, the only person i ever told this too, is mc. It was quite some time ago, before the festival. I told him cause, i love him. But, the reason why i was there... Because, i have depression."

This shocked me, i never knew she would have the same issue i have. My expression was showing and she seem like she was expecting it. I try to understand why.

"But, why? Why you have depression? You seem like you're always in a good mood."

She sniffed and wipe the tears and had a weak smile that barely shown.

"Simon, i have depression, my whole life. For as long as i can remember."

I was in disbelief, she has been dealing with this, the whole time. I couldn't believe it.

"Sayori, you have it your whole life? Have you been putting on a fake smile every time you meet me? Your friends and classmate?"

She seem sadden afterwards.

"Not always, just when i'm not having a good day, the clouds will get dark and i have to put on a mask..."

She try to put on a smile but couldn't, i was quiet, i understand exactly what that's like.

"Simon, please don't tell anyone about this, okay? I want you two to only know about this."

I look at her, she was pleading and want this to be with us, i sighed.

"I will. But sayori, i want you to know something."

I give enough willpower to tell her this.

"I too have depression, for a long time as well. And not just that, but i also have anxiety as well."

She seem almost surprise to hear this, her expression look concerned.

"Simon, you also have the same problem i have? I... I can understand why you feel sad all the time, i try to help you the best i could. And, it seem to work, you have a lot of friends now simon, i'm glad your getting with others because of me. That was the happiest moment in my life."

That surprise me, her getting me friends was the happiest moment in her life, not even her having mc as her boyfriend was enough to make her happy.

"Sayori, do you help other people often?"

"I do. I try to help everyone the way i can, it troublesome but, is worth it. It makes me happy, even if is only for a moment."

I was dumbstruck, almost. Sayori is the nicest person i ever met and she's suffering the worst thing i have.

"Simon, please don't let me bothered you, i only wanted to help, i don't you to worry about me like mc, i'm not worth it."

I was shocked to hear that, her looking more sad was hurting me, and making me upset.

"Sayori, what are you saying? Of course i'm going to worry about you, you're my friend."

She was almost disgusted by that.

"That's why i didn't want you to worry about me, you going to treat me differently now that you know my secret. I just want you to treat me like you did."

"Like what? I'm the only victim that is feeling like crap? Sayori i can't improve now since i know you also suffering from the same thing i'm going through."

She was nearly devastated by that.

"See? I'm only a Hindrance to you, is best that i never met you..."

I was shocked and upset to hear that.

"Sayori don't say that, you coming into my life was the best thing that ever happen to me. You're the most nicest person i ever met, if it weren't for you, i would've hated my school, my home. My situation wouldn't have improved if it weren't for you in my life. Don't ever put yourself down, cause you're my friend, and...I want to help you too."

I thought of what dr yamada said, he's right, helping others is something worth doing. And i won't abandon sayori. She was surprise to hear this, she seem like she wanted to refuse my offer but couldn't, she seem conflicted.

"Simon, if that's how you feel... Then, i have no right to reject your effort."

Hearing that made me relieved to hear, a smile creep on my face as she notice it, she couldn't help but smiled smalley like her heart was warmth.

"I'm glad to hear that sayori. I didn't expect that you have the same issue as i do, maybe we can help each other somehow."

She nod her head, having the small smile on her face.

"Mmhm, i agree, but i don't know how to help you in some way. But i will do my best."

"Yeah, same here. Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, i will. But, please don't tell the others about this. I don't want them to worry about me as well."

I was almost confused on why she want this between us, but i agree.

"Alright, i won't."

"Okay..."

She look bothered.

"Simon, don't let my mood affect your mood, just live the moment okay?"

"Alright, as long you be honest, okay? You're not the only one who is, down okay?"

She nod her head and had a small smile.

"Yeah, i know... I gotta go simon, my parents are expecting me back any moment. I'll see you at school."

"Alright, bye sayori."

She wave and turn around and walk away, i watch her walk off, having a lot on the back of my mind and i feel like she feels it as well.

I roll myself back to my home and my mom called out to me.

"Simon, you back?"

"Yeah mom, i'm home."

I roll to the front entry way to the dinner room and see my mom already setting the food for us.

"Oh, how was your talk with sayori?"

She seem concerned almost, made me worry if she saw us.

"Uhh, it was. Okay... Me and sayori just catch up with each other, she'll be going back to school tomorrow."

She seem please by that.

"That's great to hear, i'm glad you two are getting along well."

She sat down.

"Alright, you hungry? Cause dinner been done for a few second ago."

I didn't know dinner was finished by the time we wrap up our talk.

"Oh, yeah i am."

I went to the front and look at my bowl and we started eating, soon after i was finished my mother went and took our bowls and head off to the kitchen. I was thinking about my talk with sayori and couldn't get it out of my head, i decided to write this down on my book as i roll away.

"I'm going to my room mom."

"Alright sweety, make sure to do any of your homework in case you have any."

I remember that and sigh softly.

"Okay."

I roll down the narrow hallway and open my door, i roll in and close it now being alone in my room.

I roll to my desk, open my desk drawer and grab my book and put it on the top and open it, flipping through all of my pages until i was at a blank page.

I grab a pen from my pen holder and click it and start writing all the stuff that happened today, remembering what dr yamada said, how i feel about him and soon after my talk with sayori. I was disturbed by the revelation i learn from her and just couldn't believe it, she and i will help each other but i don't know how that will work out. I might look at her differently now, which is what she doesn't want me to do, ironic. She did said that mc knows as well so i might ask him what he knows, if is alright. This was not what i expected but we have to make it work.

After i was done i unclick my pen and put it down, looking at the words i wrote and figure that i'm in a mess, i shouldn't be too nosey and ask sayori why she was there, but her being there wasn't going to be something i will not ask but...Is best i know now than later.

I was about to take off my clothes and relax until i remember my homework, i groan a bit and grab my bag and started working.