The next couple chapters will likely be flashbacks.
Chapter 3:
Thirteen Months Ago
"Lucas…is something the matter? You've been quiet all evening."
Riley and Lucas had been sitting and studying for their Sociology final for about a half hour in one of the study rooms in the library, and so far Lucas hadn't said more than two words to her after saying hello.
They'd decided to take the Sociology class as an elective together because they felt like they weren't seeing enough of each other anymore, and even though it was far from Lucas's Biology major and Riley's Education and Psychology degree, it turned out to be their favourite class of the semester. They would get together at least once a week to study and work on assignments, and would spend most of that time talking. Which is why this study session felt so weird and strained.
Lucas looked up from his textbook and gave a forced half smile, as though Riley wouldn't see right through that. "Nothing's wrong Riley." He said before looking back down again.
She frowned and watched him for a second, hoping he would say more, or at least look up at her. They had been friends ever since he'd moved to New York in their sophomore year of high school, and they were just finishing their sophomore year of college now. In all that time, Riley had easily been able to tell what was wrong with Lucas. But she had no idea now.
"Come on, Lucas. We're best friends…you can tell me anything."
He put his pencil down and looked at her. "Best friends?"
"Yeah… I mean you're like a – "
"A brother to you, yeah I know Riles." He said, cutting her off.
Riley looked at him in surprise. Clearly something was bothering him…she couldn't help but notice the way he emphasized the word 'brother'. But this couldn't be about that…could it?
If she was being honest with herself, Lucas had never felt like a brother to her, not even close. But she'd pushed that title onto him in high school, trying to protect everyone involved, and eventually her and Lucas had moved on. Or he had, and she'd buried her feelings for him until it was too late. And although it was hard sometimes, Riley had made her peace with the fact that all they would ever be was best friends.
"Lucas… what's going on?"
"Fine. If I'm your best friend, can I ask you something?" He closed his textbook now.
"Yes, of course."
"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing Charlie Gardener?"
Of all the things Lucas could have said, this was the last thing Riley expected. How did Lucas even know about that? "I…we've only been on one date."
"And what about Justin's party?"
"Well…yeah, we danced there for a bit, but…" But that was only because I saw you flirting with Chloe Pierce and I felt like my heart was tearing in half, she thought to herself.
"Okay", he said looking down at his notebook for a second. "It just seems like something you would mention to a good friend."
"Lucas, it was one date. I was going to tell you, of course."
"Are you seeing him again?"
"I don't know…why?"
"Because…" He trailed off for a minute "Because he's a jackass, Riley!" He finally said, looking up at her.
"Look, I know he has a bit of a reputation but…"
"He has that reputation for a reason, Riles. He's known all around campus for a reason."
"Lucas, you barely know him…I don't think that's fair."
"Oh, and you do know him?" he closed his notebook too, pulling out his water bottle to take a sip, just to have something to do with his hands.
"I…I don't yet, but I want to get to know him. Why is that so bad?"
Lucas looked up at her again, and his eyes were so earnest as he stared into hers that Riley felt the butterflies in her stomach. "Because he's not good enough for you, Riley. You deserve so much better."
Riley was shocked silent. The butterflies grew tenfold, and she had to remind herself that Lucas saw her as a sister, as a good friend. She smiled. "Lucas, it's so sweet that you're looking out for me, but I think you have Charlie all wrong. I can take care of myself."
"Sweet. Right." Suddenly Lucas stood up and shoved all his books back into his bag. "You're right Riley. You can take care of yourself, who am I to interfere?"
"Lucas that's not what I meant—"
"It's all good, Riles. I gotta go, I'll see you later." He was already at the door, pulling it open as he said that, leaving a dumbfounded Riley watching the place where he'd just left from.
Lucas walked into the lecture hall three days later, right before the exam was about to start. He knew that Riley would be there early. She'd texted him that she would save him a seat. She'd texted him a lot over the weekend, actually, but he hadn't responded to any of them.
It wasn't like he intentionally wanted to avoid her, but every time he thought of talking to her, or started to type back a response, all he could think about was her with Charlie Gardener. The thought of that creep with Riley made his blood boil.
And, if he was being honest with himself, he just couldn't do it anymore. It was clear to him that Riley didn't have any romantic feelings for him; she'd called him her brother for crying out loud, but Lucas just couldn't pretend he was okay with that anymore. He couldn't pretend that he was okay with just being friends with her…that he wasn't in love with her.
So, he'd avoided her while he tried to sort out his thoughts and figure out what to do. Although a part of him had wished he was staying in New York after finals to be able to spend time with Riley and the rest of his friends, now he was glad that he was heading back to Texas for the summer. Some time away seemed like just what he'd need.
Riley stood up and waved to him as soon as he stepped into the lecture hall. He reciprocated her smile with a half-hearted one of his own before dropping into the seat right beside her.
"Hey… I missed you this weekend."
There was a hint of shyness in her voice, as though she thought he might still be mad at her. Not for the first time, Lucas felt guilty for ignoring her while he tried to work out his own issues.
"Yeah, sorry… I was just trying to study for my bio final yesterday." He gave her a smile and noticed how she was instantly more at ease.
"How do you think it went?"
"Okay, I guess. I'm just glad this semester is almost over."
"When's your flight?"
"Tomorrow at 8am."
"I can't believe you're going to be gone all summer," she pouted in the most adorable way. "I'll come drop you off!"
"Riles its way too early. I'll take the train."
"No. I have to come say goodbye. I'm going to miss you like crazy." She smiled at him.
"Okay." Lucas groaned internally as he watched her beautiful smile grow on her face. He would have to figure out a way to bury his feelings for this girl fast...or…tell her how he really felt.
No. He couldn't do that. Riley had made her feelings clear time and time again. He didn't know if he could take her rejection, or risk losing their friendship over it. Distance was his best option right now.
Lucas was grateful when the professor called everyone's attention to begin the exam, cutting their conversation short.
The next morning, Lucas slipped out of his, Zay's and Farkle's apartment quietly. He had said goodbye to his roommates the night before. Lucas looked at his watch. It was just after 5 am and he knew he would be ridiculously early for the airport, but he just didn't think he would be able to do an airport goodbye scene without blurting out his feelings for Riley.
Ignoring his guilt, he shot her a quick text before hoisting his bags and walking towards the subway.
Riley awoke to her alarm half an hour later. She desperately wanted to snuggle back into her covers, but she also didn't want to miss the opportunity to say bye to Lucas. Things had been weird between them and she didn't want to leave it like that for the entire summer. Lucas was too important to her. Riley rolled over in bed to silence her alarm and check her messages. There was one from Charlie, asking if she wanted to grab dinner tonight. Riley sighed. She wasn't sure if she liked Charlie in that way, or if he was just a good distraction from her feelings for Lucas. He'd flirted with her all semester in the Psych course she had with him, but Riley had never reciprocated. Until the night of the party at least. She clicked on the next message.
Hey Riles. I managed to get on an earlier flight and I didn't want to wake you. I'm on my way to the airport now, I'll see you at the end of the summer, okay?
Riley sat up in bed, staring at the message. Did Lucas really get on an earlier flight, or did he just not want to see her? He'd basically been ignoring her since the other night. Riley tried not to dwell on it, but she couldn't help the ache that started in her chest as she re-read the message. She didn't know why Lucas was avoiding her, but it killed her to think she was losing one of the most important people in her life. Was he done with their friendship?
On impulse, Riley went back to Charlie's text. I'd love to grab dinner :) She hit send before she could change her mind and dove back under her covers.
Present Day
"And then…he just never came back, even when summer ended."
Maya was quiet for a while after Riley stopped talking, finally relaying everything that had happened between Lucas and her the previous year. She'd known that they'd had a bit of a fight before Lucas left for Texas, but she hadn't realized the extent of it until then. Yeah, Huckleberry was an idiot for avoiding her the whole time, but more than anything, it was clear how much Lucas still cared for Riley.
Riley looked over at her friend, lost in her thoughts. "What are you thinking, Peaches?"
"It's nothing…Just that…Lucas was just looking out for you, Riles. I mean even you can see now how much of an ass Charlie is, and I think he was just trying to be there for you."
Riley buried her head in the pillow again. "Which is why it's so embarrassing seeing him again. He was right, and I don't need one more person telling me 'I told you so' right now."
Maya felt the guilt spring up in her. She had thought she'd been better at hiding her contempt about Charlie, but it was clear that Riley had picked up on it. "Lucas wouldn't do that, Riles. You know he cares about you."
"Does he?"
"What?"
Riley turned to look Maya in the eyes again. "He tells me he's going for the summer, then doesn't come back for a year, and basically ignores me the whole time. I mean, yeah, I didn't message him again either when he never came back last fall, but he didn't even call me to tell me or give me any explanation. I had to hear about it from Zay."
Maya rubbed her back. "And he's an idiot for that, but he's always been an idiot with stuff like this. Look Riley, Lucas cares about you so much. I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true. And that's probably why he was so mad about Charlie, he didn't want to see you get hurt. But I bet he's also feeling really guilty for going MIA like that. He hasn't tried to apologize?"
"Well…he did. The night at the bar, and then again this morning, I think. But…it was just so hard being around him, you know. It hurts."
"I know, hun. But he's Lucas and you're Riley. I'll always be your best friend, but he's been a close second for years. You two will have to work it out sooner or later. A year has been long enough."
Riley simply nodded in response. She knew Maya was right. She had missed Lucas like crazy this past year. He was one of her best friends. But could she let him back in again? It was so hard to be around him, even a year later. He still had so much power to break her heart.
Thanks for reading!
