Tikal's life was one of miracles, in many senses. It was a miracle that her spirit was spared from Chaos's wrath when the rest of her people were not. It was a miracle that she found new life when the Master Emerald shattered during a conflict between Doctor Robotnik and Sonic. It was a miracle she was able to adjust at all to modern society, with its wildly different sights, sounds, and attitudes. It was a miracle so many Mobians were willing to help her through it all, striking up genuine friendships with the lost echidna. And perhaps the greatest miracle of all was that she found a kindred spirit in the least likely source: Shadow.
It didn't start like that at first. At the time, Shadow disliked more or less any company. He found Sonic and his cohort annoying at best, clashing constantly with them on every level- their methods, their approach to justice, their general behaviors, near everything it seemed was fair game for his ire. Many on the team wrote it off as moodiness, or worse, signs of an inherent rot. But when Tikal first met him, she saw straight through him and found not his rough exterior, but his wounded heart. There was a pain in Shadow he had neither embraced nor rejected. It weighed on his every action like chains shackled their prisoner. It pained her to see anyone so hurt.
So naturally, she tried to help. Eventually, in yet another miracle, he let her.
It was a slow burn, to say the least. It took a great deal of patience and warmth to even get him to talk at all, let alone about how he felt. It helped that Tikal never pushed; she had learned that in order to make progress, you can't apply too much pressure, lest the fledgling bonds break entirely. In time, her approach yielded some simple conversations, and not long after, a real (if awkward) attempt at friendship. Onlookers were shocked that the echidna was able to get anything out of the brooding hedgehog, and were further taken aback when it stuck. Shadow's edges slowly got smoothed out, and he was able to work with other Mobians in a way he never could before.
Eventually, Tikal learned of his true past; about his creator, about Maria, about the raid, and everything else. It was as heartbreaking as any story could have been. A tragedy like that wouldn't melt so easily in the face of kindness, but as Shadow thawed, he found more willing Mobians working to help him overcome his scars. It was a grave undertaking, but eventually, it was done, and Shadow was folded into "the gang" in an honest sense. Tikal alone was not the reason Shadow was able to overcome his past, but he knew that without her, it never would've happened at all.
Soon after, Tikal had realized she had fallen for Shadow. And in the ultimate miracle, he had fallen for her as well.
It was a cumbersome courtship, neither one knowing the slightest about love. There was quite a bit of stumbling, each trying to figure out how to navigate this new frontier. But even despite this, their bond held. The connection they formed over the years, both spoken and unspoken, proved far tougher than any awkwardness that arose. He admired her kindness, her determination to do right by others, her wisdom, and tenderness. She was enamored by what he previously hid: his thoughtfulness, his sense of justice, his strength, his loyalty and drive to protect others. Above all else, they never doubted their partner's affection for them.
At least, until now.
In the past couple of months, Tikal noticed a troubling trend. Shadow was spending far more time working than anything else. She saw far less of him these days than ever before because he was either on a mission, buried in paperwork, or doing some sort of freelance work. He was still available for small talk, but beyond that, he was getting distant, and it felt like it was on purpose. Shadow was no stranger to using work as an excuse to avoid thinking about something, but she thought that was a habit she and her friends had broken him off. It was extra concerning because he refused to tell her why he was doing all this. The most that he would say is that he had a good reason, and that he still loved her.
And for the first time in years, Tikal began to doubt him.
It wasn't a pleasant feeling. For so long, whenever she looked at him, she was filled with an indescribable warmth, a comfort. A feeling that no matter what, he'd find a way to be there for her. That feeling was slowly but surely fading the longer he kept himself encased in his shield of silence. The longer he remained mum, the more she began to question him.
And the questions came on like a flood. Why would his behavior pivot so drastically? Why was he refusing to tell her what he was doing? Was it because of the money? They never really had trouble making ends meet until now, so was there some unknown expense she wasn't aware of? If so, why wasn't he telling her? Could it be his pride getting in the way? Or could it be something about the relationship itself? As awful as it might be, was he losing interest in her? Was it something she did recently that was offensive?
Good gods, was it another woman? She couldn't stand to think about it, but the thought kept coming back, wracking her each time.
These doubts, the last one most of all, drove her to talk with Rouge. If anyone could offer insight, it'd be his closest friend. Tikal had her own complicated relationship with the bat, being able to call her "friend" despite their wildly different approaches to just about everything. Still, they got along more than well enough for her not only to be an option, but really, the only option. She had shown enough genuine affection for her that she knew she'd at least try to offer advice, and discrete enough so that it'd never reach Shadow's ear as gossip. Right now, she needed a Mobian that was experienced, knew Shadow, and could keep a secret, and the only intersection of those three points was Rouge.
Tikal hoped that it would offer enough clarity to put her doubts at bay. Those thoughts persistently pounded away at her head and heart, and needed immediate attention, lest real rot begin to show.
Rouge's meeting place was an uptown coffee shop about midway between Shadow's apartment and her's. Tikal had to admit that it was nice, but mostly in an insincere, artificial way, like a false smile you give to an unwelcome guest. Its "coziness" was too manufactured to fill her with any real warmth. It felt plastic, fake, overly concerned with aesthetics- all reasons Tikal preferred the outskirts of town she and Shadow lived in rather than the thick of the concrete jungle that Rouge thrived in.
At the very least, the coffee was excellent…if a tad overpriced.
"It's been too long, Tikal."
"It has been a while, hasn't it? Thank you for agreeing to meet."
"Oh, come on, it's the least I can do. You helped me and Knuckie through how many scrapes, now? And don't forget all the stuff you do for the rest of us. You're an angel, Tikal. It's just my turn."
Tikal smiled. "Thank you, Rouge. I really do appreciate you."
"You're too kind. So, what's on your mind?"
The smile faded slowly. "Doubts, mostly."
"Doubts about what? Life?"
"In a sense." Tikal paused, trying to collect enough courage to be the vulnerable one for a change. "It's about Shadow."
Rouge seized on the silence. "You're having beaux troubles?" Her tone was more surprised than anything else. "That's…that's a twist I didn't see coming."
Tikal looked down. "Neither did I."
"No disrespect to you, Tikal, but I'm not the best girl to come to about relationship issues. The most stable one I had is with Knuckie, but even that's something of a cluster. I can see myself going to you for help with the lug. Hell, I have."
"Right, well-"
"But, let's turn this around. This is about you and Shadow." Rouge leaned in. "So, tell me as much as you can."
Tikal sighed. "He's been…distant, lately."
"Distant?"
"He's burying himself in overtime. He's coming home late almost every night now, and every time I ask him what he's been doing, he just says he's been working and stops the conversation there."
"That's no good," Rouge agreed. "Are you worried he'll burn himself out?"
"It's more than that. I'm worried there's something he's not telling me, a reason he's building his walls back up. Maybe an expense he's hiding, or some trauma, or…"
"Or?"
Tikal shook her head. "Gods, I can't believe I'm thinking such things…"
"You think there might be another woman?"
Tikal just nodded silently, waves of sorrow washing over her. At times, she was grateful for her friend's approach to tough topics. Still, the doubts had become unearthing themselves in droves.
Rouge leaned back. "That's rough, I'm not gonna lie. And I don't think you'll get any great answers from anyone but him." She smiled wryly. "At the same time, though, there's no way in hell it's another woman."
Tikal balked at the bat's candor. "What?"
"Hon, Shadow might be a stunner, but he has no game to speak of. If another woman tried making moves on him, he'd have no idea what to do with himself."
Tikal blinked. "I-I'm not sure that's true."
"Oh, I'm sure he can be quite charming with you, but you laid way more groundwork for that than he ever did. Trust me, there's no homewrecker in this equation."
"I-I see." Tikal cleared her throat. That was one doubt put to bed for the time being, but there was still a horde of worries running rampant across her mind. "Still, he's burning the candle at both ends and won't tell me why."
Rouge nodded. "Right, that'd make me worried too. But I'm not sure you're going to get a good answer from anyone except him."
"I've tried."
"Tikal, I know this is going to sound bitchy, but you might need to try harder. Corner him, press him, do something. I've said this before- you're too kind. Sometimes, you need to use your spine, not your heart."
Tikal said nothing, choosing instead to mull over Rouge's words. To act without kindness wasn't something she often did, given the toll it took on her heart, but then again, the doubts wore at it too.
"Sorry, I got a little worked up. I just want you two to work through this. I know you make him quite happy. And I can tell he makes you very happy."
Tikal blushed. "He can. But…"
"You just need to be open with him. Tell him what he's doing is hurting you, and then he might be willing to talk."
Again, Tikal let the advice settle in. If going against her nature in the short term would lead to actual answers, she had no choice. "I have to try."
The apartment never felt so cold.
It was never a cozy, well adorned place. Shadow was hardly into decorating, so it was often up to Tikal to make the place feel like home, but even with all of her plants and gifts, it still felt warm. In the past, Tikal chalked that up to Shadow's presence. His companionship had always filled in the gaps, making it feel like home, regardless of how she felt about the city.
Now, there was no warmth. Just a bone-gnawing chill. An absence.
Tikal looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. Even with his new habit of working overtime, Shadow was very late. Pushing through her doubts, she prayed for his safety, and rehearsed in her head what she'd say. She loathed confrontation, but it had become a necessity. Be open, be honest, but above all, be clear.
She was mid-thought when the door finally opened. It was Shadow, still uniformed and carrying his bag. He seemed exhausted, a fact that began to drain Tikal's convictions.
"Tikal," he greeted, managing to serve up a tired smile. Normally, it'd be a relief to see, but there was something off. It was sincere, but still forced, like he didn't have the energy for anything else. "You didn't have to wait." Given his tone, he was clearly trying to soothe her
"I wanted to," she responded. Swallowing a pocket of air as he put down his bag, she plunged into the waters of potential conflict. "I…wanted to talk to you."
Shadow paused briefly, but didn't stop unpacking. "If it's about my hours, it's for a good reason."
"Yes, you've said that." She marshaled the courage to bring up her first rehearsed answer. "But you won't tell me what that reason is."
The hedgehog looked up slightly. It was hard to tell if he was caught off-guard, but what she said still stirred a reaction. "Tikal, we've already had this conversation."
Rouge coached her on what to do with that line. "I-I don't think we have. If anything, you don't want to talk about it."
She had his full attention now. "Tikal." His face gave little away, but his tone was somewhat hurt and defensive.
She continued the best she could. "I'm not trying to fight with you, Shadow. I'm just worried."
"There's nothing to be worried about." It was meant to be reassuring, but the tone didn't change.
"But that's not how it feels. You've been burning yourself out, Shadow. You come home exhausted, miserable even. Something's clearly going on, and for some reason, you're refusing to share it."
"Tikal-"
She refused to meet his eyes; if she did, she wouldn't be able to finish. "I'm sure you mean well. You always mean well. But I'm afraid you'll get yourself killed at this rate." She breathed. "I need to know what's happening, please."
For a minute, silence; a heavy, airy silence that only came after tragedy or truth. Tikal was trembling, still afraid to look up. It broke her heart to imagine what was on Shadow's face. He was already worn out, and he already sounded hurt. For once, her doubts were being replaced by something darker, more distressing. Her doubts had become fears- fears of hurting the Mobian she loved.
"Tikal." His voice broke the silence, but not like a sledgehammer. Instead, it was a gentle tap. She felt his hand place itself lightly on her shoulder. "Please, look at me." She slowly obliged, looking cautiously into his crimson eyes. The hurt was still present, but its character was different. It wasn't defensive, or irritated, but rather remorseful and pensive. "Is that how you feel?" All she could bring herself to do was nod. He broke eye-contact, fixing his gaze on the floor. "I caused you pain, didn't I?"
"Shadow," she gasped, "don't-"
She wasn't able to finish her thought before Shadow pulled her in for an embrace. It was a compassionate, repentant hold, filled with a desire to restore. It was an embrace that shocked her, but as the seconds passed, she found herself gratefully returning it. There was a new silence, but one she welcomed, one she found that she missed in the past few weeks.
"I promised myself I'd never cause you pain," he confessed. "I was foolish to not see what I was doing."
"Shadow," she croaked. She wasn't sure what else she could say.
His embrace loosened. "I should have seen it. I was so caught up in what I was doing that…" he trailed off, breaking eye-contact again. He gingerly took his arms off hers, and she followed suit. "Wait here." With deliberate speed, he strode off to the bedroom. In less than a minute, he returned with a handful of papers. "This will explain everything."
Blinking, Tikal took what was handed to her and began reading. She recognized the letterhead as one of the big uptown jewelers, and it quickly became apparent that it was a receipt.
For a ring.
An engagement ring.
A custom engagement ring.
"I wanted it to be a surprise," Shadow explained. "It's so perfect, Tikal, you should see it. Jade and obsidian with gold. All this time, I've been working towards it, and every ring earned through overtime was going to that and that alone."
Tikal read and reread the receipt and messages until the tears became too heavy to see.
"This was never how I wanted you to find out," he choked. "This was meant to bring happiness, but instead, there's pain.." He paused. "I am truly sorry, Tikal. I should have let you know. I just-" His speech was cut off with another tight embrace, this one brought on by the echidna. "Tikal?"
"Thank you," she sobbed. "Thank you, thank you."
Shadow held her tight. "This isn't how I wanted to propose," he chuckled wearily. "And I wouldn't blame you if you had second thoughts-"
"There's nothing to think about. The answer is yes. Forever, always, yes."
All it once, it seemed, all of her doubts were crushed into dust. What would happen in the days ahead would be complicated, but she now had certainty. Certainty that her days ahead would be filled with love, not fear; happiness, not regret; absolute sureness, not a trace of doubt.
A/N: I was sitting on this idea for ages, and had no idea how to do it justice. Hopefully I got there, or at least halfway there. If not...oh well...
