Most characters are property of ASW; any that obviously aren't are the property of their respective owners. Based on the tumblr site of the same name. I have no links whatsoever to the actual TT.

Some is entirely original material. Some taken verbatim or based on quotes from other media (no prizes for spotting which).


Ragna vs Yandere Jin

Ragna: "If you settle my debts, I might, MIGHT, consider having sex with you...but probably not."


Shifty Carl & Happy Relius vs Defeated Makoto

Carl: "But he's my dad! We do everything together!"


Happy Relius vs Defeated Carl

Relius: "Son, I am disappoint."

(Sorry. Couldn't resist)


Happy Jin and Hakumen vs Happy Tsubaki and Happy Izayoi

Jin: "Who knew dressing up as superheroes would do so much for your love life?"


Happy Tsubaki vs Jin and Hakumen

Tsu: "If I marry two versions of the same man, is that still bigamy?"


Battle Stance Hazama vs Defeated Relius

Hazama's: "Yeah, I think we can safely say my snake is bigger than yours."


Nine vs Radio Terumi & Background Trinity

Nine: "Now if you'll excuse me, Trinity keeps insisting she's just figured out the tune to Funky Town."


Angry Jubei vs Happy Terumi

Jubei: "For the last time, I AM NOT GRUMPY CAT!"


Hype Doge: "much astral. so distortion. many overdrive. wow."


Battle Stance Tsubaki vs Battle Stance Noel

Tsu: "And to think, in the first draft, I used to fancy you!"

Noel: "I think you still do...'


Mai vs Kajun

Mai: "So I answered the door to the Jehovah's witnesses; I told them I was trans. They left pretty quickly."

Kajun: "I did something similar once; I told them I had Leprosy. They ran away screaming."

(Swap a few details and embellishments and Kajun's line actually happened.)


Hakumen, Jubei and Valkenhayn vs Terumi

Hakumen: And now our next career move; A Barbershop Quartet!


Drunk Jin and Shocked Makoto vs Hazama and Miffed Izanami

Jin: Hash anyone sheen my pantsh? Can't see Imperator without pantsh.


Schoolgirl Makoto vs Embarrassed School Tsubaki and ES Noel

Makoto: "When I touch you, I think about myself...no wait."