What The..
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling.
'Hermione do you have a minute?' Lavender asked.
'Of course, come in.'
'Um I have a problem and I think you might be able to help.'
'Oh I see…' as the very pregnant Lavender came around the corner.
'Ron told me you two broke up and then I saw that you two were getting married this weekend.'
'Very interesting, he told me you two stopped,' pointing to her belly.' A year ago. Well never mind that do you love him?' Lavender nodded. 'Do you want to marry him?' she nodded again. 'Well then we have some work to do.' as Hermione stood to leave.
~o~
'Hermione, can I come in?' Harry knocked at the door. As Hermione reached out and pulled him into the room. 'Um, why are you not dressed?'
'That…' as she pointed to Lavender's belly before performing the notice me not charm on her belly.
'Oh, so Ron didn't keep his promise?'
'Nope and I'm not marrying him, Lavender is taking my place.' as she adjusted Lavender's veil. 'Will you please walk her down the aisle?' Harry nodded with a grin on his face.
'Hermione dear are you ready?' Molly knocked on the door.
'Yes, Molly almost there.' as Hermione transfigured her face. They started the walk down to the smiling groom.
'We are gathered here today to join this witch and this wizard in marital bond. Lavender Brown do you promise Ron to love honor and cherish him in sickness and in health? For richer or poorer?' Kingsley Shacklebolt asked.
'I do.' Lavender said clearly.
'Ronald Weasley, do you promise Lavender to remain faithful? To love honor and cherish her in sickness and in health? For richer or poorer?' Kingsley asked.
'I… what the…' as Ron realizing the name change, flipped up the veil to show a smiling Lavender.
'What is going on here?' screeched Molly.
'Well for some reason Lavender still loves this cheating, lying…' as Hermione tapped her wand on Lavender's shoulder to show her very large baby bump. The crowd gasped at the new revelation. 'Yes, it is Ron's. He promised me he would not cheat on me again… I will not raise another woman's child. So she can marry him.'
'Well, I guess you're right there so let's get on with this.' The twins said in unison. Molly just started to nod in agreement. Ron started to protest.
'Yes, Ronald, you will marry her she will not raise your baby alone.' as Molly started to fuss over Lavender's dress.
'Yes, let's get back to it.' Kingsley said in a booming voice to get everyone's attention back to the ceremony. 'Well now that we have a change, do we have any objections?' pausing for a minute.
'Um, yes.' as a voice came from the back of the room. 'I'm also pregnant by him and I deserve to have him help us too.' as Millicent Bulstrode stood up also showing a large baby bump.
'Ronald Billius Weasley what have you done?' Molly screeched even louder. 'Are you sure it's his?'
'Yes, twin boys.' Millie said in a small voice. Molly's hand was waving in front of her belly.
'Yes, twins due in two months. I'm sorry dear I thought I taught my sons,' Molly glared at Ron. 'The contraceptive charm years ago but he must have been daydreaming about something else.' Both twins nodded and mouthed we know it. 'Well, we will have a triad marriage in the family again.' as she transfigured Millie's dress and pushed her up to the platform next to Lavender. 'Kings continue if you please.'
'I am not marring both of them.' Ron spat.
'You got both of them up the duff so you will do the right thing and marry them or I will hex you and your bits.' Molly snarled, Ron flinched at the comment.
'Are you two sure you both want to marry him?' Kingsley asked the girls.
'I'm fine with it, Millie and I were friends in school.' Lavender said.
'Yea it's fine with me too.' Millie replied.
'Ok then let's start again… Are there any objections?' Kings looked thru the crowd.
'Yes, I might be up the duff too.' A petite blond stood up. 'He promised me a permeant secretary spot if I…'
'Ronald Weasley I will be hexing you.' His mother snarled as she went over to do the proper tests and shook her head, the girl sighed in relief.
'Merlins thank you. I want nothing more to do with that lying cheating git.' She spoke with a snarl. Hermione came over to comfort the girl.
'Well, he doesn't make those decisions.' a Kings snarled at Ron. 'Well Mr. Weasley you will see me as soon as we are done here.' Ron nodded he didn't like the tone Kings had. 'Let's try this again…'
~o~
'So why am I the only one with the fidelity vow?' Ron whined.
'Well little bro I think that…' Fred said as George finished with, 'you have proven the reason right here.' as the twins pointed to the girls' bellies, as molly came scurrying over to the small crowd.
'Ronald Weasley, I have just heard you lost your job as an auror? What are you going to do now?' Molly screeched.
'The twins will make me a partner and I can work there. Then I will be all set.' Ron said with a grin.
'Oh no we won't.' the twins said in unison. ' We can give you a few hours a week but right now we are good with Verity and Lee,' Fred said 'We don't need more help right now, maybe the week before school starts, christmas holidays and if someone needs a day off.' George finished. 'But that's it.'
'But I'm your brother.' Ron whined.
'Yes, a stupid, lying, cheating git.' George said. 'Yea if you had just kept your willy in your pants you would have married Hermione and had a sweet life.' Fred added. 'But no…' the twins spoke in unison again.
'Well Ron, I guess you need to start looking for a job as soon as you get back from your honeymoon.' Ginny giggled.
'What honeymoon? I paid for that, and I will be going by myself.' Hermione quipped. 'He can go figure out his own honeymoon, not my job anymore that belongs to Lavender and Millie now.' Hermione grinned.
