A/N: Just to tide you over until the new year, my loves! Enjoy!


In all the years of his life, Jed Bartlet didn't think he had ever been more excited for the start of a school year, and as the car began its journey up the path leading to campus, he couldn't keep the smile from his face. Not only was he eager to begin his studies and to finally not have the shadow of his father hanging over him, but he also couldn't wait to see Abbey, to be able to hear her voice without the crackle of a phone line between them.

"Jed, I don't think I've seen you this happy in all the years I've known you."

Jed turned to Mrs. Landingham, more than a little pleased she had agreed to make the long drive with him and nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks for playing taxi driver, by the way."

She smiled, waving his words away as she parked the vehicle, her voice warm as she spoke.

"It's no trouble. I enjoy your company. It's nice to talk to someone as young as you that has such a good head on their shoulders. It makes me worry a little bit less about the future of the world and let's be honest: there was no way your father would have agreed to do it. Besides, I want to meet this girl you're so crazy about."

The very mention of Abbey made Jed smile, and as they stepped out of the car, Jed couldn't help the way his eyes scanned the campus, hoping for even a glimpse of her. She didn't seem to have arrived yet, though it was entirely possible that he just hadn't seen her, and he lifted his bag to his shoulder, nodding his head in the direction of the boys' dormitory.

"Should probably go drop this off in my room."

He was oddly comforted by the fact that his room hadn't changed and even more relieved that he would be sharing it with Jeremy again, which (if he was being honest) he hadn't been sure of until he saw him standing in the small space, given the way the other man had aways approached his education. He introduced Mrs. Landingham, thankful that Jeremy had the presence of mind to be a bit more tactful than he typically was, and as he placed his bag on his bed, he tried to keep his voice neutral.

"Have you seen Abbey by chance?"

Jeremy smirked, shaking his head in amusement, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Less than ten minutes, Bartlet. I have to say, I thought those would be the first words out of your mouth, so I'm slightly impressed. No, I haven't seen her yet. Millie's around here somewhere, though. Might ask her."

Jed laughed quietly as he and Mrs. Landingham left the room, and she gave him a knowing smile as they walked out of the building.

"You really do love this girl, Jed. I never thought I would see the day, but I'm so glad I did. She must be incredibly special."

He nodded.

"She is."

The sound of someone calling his name made him turn, and though he was disappointed that it hadn't been Abbey, he was still happy to see Millie, and when she wrapped her arms around him, he kissed her cheek lightly. She smiled at him brightly as she stepped back, looking curiously at Mrs. Landingham, and he nodded at her once before speaking.

"Millie, this is Mrs. Landingham. She works at the school my father runs. She's one of my best friends, and she's basically like my sister."

Millie shook her hand happily and Mrs. Landingham gave Jed a stern but warm look.

"I would have been extremely offended if you'd said I was like your mother, so thank you, Jed."

He laughed, giving Mrs. Landingham a warm look.

"I would never offend you like that. Hey Millie, have you seen Abbey?"

Millie nodded.

"Yeah, she's around here some—"

"JED!"

He turned at the sound of her voice, hardly having enough time to catch her as she threw her arms around his neck, and he laughed quietly, looking at Millie in amusement.

"I found her," he said, smiling as she pulled back, kissing him once.

Abbey stepped away from him, her eyes roaming over him slowly, and without so much as a word, Jed knew exactly what she was doing, and he shook his head as he smiled.

"Abbey, I'm fine. No dents, no dings, no cuts, no bruises. I promise. Now, I have someone I really want you to meet, so could you take a break from the medical examination?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded, smiling as she noticed the blonde woman standing next to them, looking at her seriously.

"Abbey, this is—"

"You're Mrs. Landingham, aren't you?"

Abbey hugged her fiercely, though the gesture wasn't something she would have normally done with a stranger, and as she spoke, she kept her voice soft to avoid anyone else hearing her.

"Thank you for keeping him safe," she whispered.

Mrs. Landingham smiled as she released her, a silent understanding passing between the two women, and she nodded at the younger girl warmly.

"I've heard so much about you, Abbey. It's wonderful to finally meet you."

As he watched the two most important women in his life, Jed didn't think he could have been happier if he'd tried.


Abbey gasped as her body slammed into Jed's closed door, her hands tangled in his hair as they kissed, and when he lifted her off her feet, her legs wrapped around his waist. She was profoundly grateful that Jeremy had decided to attend the first of many back-to-school parties, giving them a chance to be alone together, and when Jed pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, she moaned, her grip tightening in his hair.

"Damn, I missed you so much," Jed murmured as he kissed her again, "Summer is too long."

She laughed breathlessly as her head fell back against the door, her eyes closing when he kissed her throat, his tongue tracing slow circles over her skin, and though her fingers were desperate to touch him, she couldn't quite manage to remove his clothing in their current position, and she forced herself to speak through the haze of desire that had overtaken her.

"Not that I'm necessarily opposed to sex against a door, but we should probably move," her voice was low in his ear, making him shiver.

He nodded, kissing her hard as he turned to carry her to the bed, and as he lowered her from his arms, he looked at the dress she was wearing appreciatively. It was a light seafoam green that perfectly accented her eyes, and he took the fabric lightly in his fingers as he hovered over her.

"This is a great colour on you," he said honestly.

She smiled as she slid her hands under his shirt, peeling the fabric away from his skin, running her fingers over his chest slowly, and she glanced down at her dress as though she had just noticed it.

"You think so?"

"Definitely," he said as he leaned down to kiss her, his hands moving to touch her breasts through the fabric, "It really brings out your eyes."

"It's new," she remarked lightly, "and I only bought it for one reason."

Jed frowned, trying to imagine what she could possibly mean, and he tilted his head curiously as he touched the dress again.

"To make a good impression on the first day back on campus?"

Abbey shook her head, pulling him closer, her tongue finding his as she kissed him hard, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly.

"So you could take it off," she whispered.

He nodded as he kissed her again, his hands slowly finding the zipper at the back, smiling as he pushed the dress from her shoulders.

"You're brilliant, babe. This would definitely look better on the floor."

She laughed quietly as he slid the dress down her body, hooking his fingers into her underwear as he did so, leaving her clad in only her bra, and she raised up, her hands finding the buckle of his belt and yanking it free in one fluid motion. The remainder of their clothing was shed in record time, something Jed was immensely grateful for, and as he ran his hand through her hair, he met her eyes in the dim light.

"Do you know how much it killed me to not be able to touch you for three months?" he said quietly, "I thought I was going to lose my mind."

He didn't bother waiting for an answer, kissing her again, his left hand finding her breasts, his right moving to carefully enter her, taking great satisfaction in the way her body arched into his. She moaned as he twisted his fingers, and though she hadn't intended to, she bit down on his shoulder to stifle the scream she could feel building in her chest. He moved his fingers faster, absence making the feeling more intense, and when the orgasm hit her suddenly, she couldn't stop the way her body jerked beneath him, a harsh cry falling from her lips.

Jed couldn't help but feel proud of himself for having broken her so easily and quickly, and just as he was about to kiss her again, Abbey shook her head, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Jed, wait."

He frowned, suddenly worried that he had done something wrong or that she was in pain, and she smiled, clearly able to read his mind as she spoke again.

"I need a minute to catch my breath," she said, "That one kind of caught me off guard."

She laughed quietly, closing her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder, taking several deep breaths, and Jed smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair. When she finally felt the lightheadedness pass, Abbey kissed him again, though it was less rushed than before, and she moved so that he was beneath her. Her hair trailed over his skin as she kissed him, her hands touching him as though it was the last time she would ever do it, and when he carefully tore open the condom with his teeth, his hands found her hips, making sure she wasn't at risk of falling.

It was a slightly difficult position, made more complicated by the lack of a headboard on the bed, which Abbey would have greatly preferred to have to use for balance, but as she straddled his hips, she knew that he would do everything possible to keep her from falling. The sensation was entirely different than what she was used to, having only ever been on top once in her life, but she would have been lying if she'd said it didn't make her feel incredibly powerful. She kissed him hard as she rolled her hips against his, smiling when she felt his fingers tighten on her body, and when she brought her lips to his throat, she bit down lightly on his skin.

Abbey typically preferred to be the less dominant one in bed, perhaps the only place in her life where she felt comfortable allowing another person to take control, but just this once, she wanted to know how it felt to have Jed completely at her mercy. She couldn't explain this sudden desire, but if she was really being honest, she didn't much care. Jed whispered her name as she trailed her lips along his jawbone, her tongue occasionally tasting the salt of his skin, and as she moved faster, she knew there would be a bruise on her hips in the morning.

She kissed him harder as his body jerked under her, the rhythm thrown off slightly when he reached up to touch her breasts, and when she found it again, she tangled her fingers in his hair, a harsh gasp tearing from her throat. The tightening that had been slowly building in her lower abdomen suddenly snapped, and her eyes met his in the dim light.

"Kiss me, Jed."

His mouth crashed against hers as she rode out the climax, knowing he had joined her when he moaned into the kiss, and when they finally broke apart, he loosened his death-like grip on her hips. She kissed him again, smiling when he shifted just enough that he was in a sitting position, and she locked her arms around his neck to keep herself from falling as he pulled out of her. He threw the used condom in the waste basket by the bed, never once releasing her from his one-handed hold, and as she reached out to brush his hair back, he gave her a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I love you."

She smiled, kissing him again, and he held her closer, doing his best to keep his fingers from slipping on her sweat-slicked skin.

"I love you, too," she said quietly.

Abbey was just leaning in to kiss him again when she froze, her eyes wide as she suddenly jumped off his lap, scrambling to gather her clothes. At first, he had no idea what she'd heard, but as he listened, the sound of approaching footsteps grew louder, and he stood quickly, barely catching the shirt she tossed him. He pulled it over his head, thankful that most of their clothing had landed close to the bed, and as Abbey moved her hair to the side of her neck, he pulled up the zipper on her dress.

He had just managed to sit back down on the bed and pull Abbey into his lap when the door opened, revealing a Jeremy so drunk that Jed wasn't even sure how he had made it back to the dorm, and Abbey frowned as he stumbled into the room.

"Jeremy, are you okay?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice, his eyes struggling to focus as he peered at her in the darkened room.

"Oh! H-hey, um…hey, Abbey. I'm good. Hey, you guys should have gone to that party."

He closed the door harder than he'd intended, flinching when it slammed shut, and Abbey exchanged a slightly worried glance with Jed, though he merely shook his head.

"Hey, Ab-Abbey, howwasyoursssummer?"

Jeremy's voice was so slurred that it took her longer to decipher what he'd meant, and she frowned in concern.

"It was nice," Abbey replied carefully, "What about yours?"

"Pretty good."

He didn't elaborate, merely falling facedown onto his bed, and Abbey carefully removed herself from Jed's lap, walking across the room and leaning down to look at their friend, her hand lightly touching his shoulder.

"Jeremy?"

There was no response, but she could see the slow rise and fall of his chest, and she shook her head sadly, glancing at Jed over her shoulder.

"We need to turn him," she said softly, "If he vomits in his sleep, he could choke."

Jed nodded, moving to help her, and as they carefully turned him onto his side, Jed met his girlfriend's eyes seriously.

"Please don't ever let me get that drunk."

Abbey laughed quietly, kissing his cheek lightly before moving to cover Jeremy with a blanket.

"Honey, with as little as you drink, this would happen to you with just two beers."

Jeremy groaned softly as he opened his eyes, frowning when he realized that they were standing next to his bed, and as his eyes finally landed on Jed, he shook his head in drunken confusion.

"Jed, why's your s-shirt inside out?"

Glancing down at Jed's shirt, Abbey began to laugh, her head falling onto his shoulder, and as Jeremy closed his eyes again, Jed rolled his eyes.

"Last time I get dressed in the damn dark."


Even though it was only the end of the very first week, Abbey couldn't deny that she was feeling more than a little overwhelmed by her current load of coursework, and as she tiredly walked into her room late one Friday evening, she found herself wondering why she had ever thought she could be a doctor. She knew she wasn't stupid, but damned if she wasn't feeling it, and she sighed as she threw herself on her bed after dropping her books on her desk. She was so exhausted that she didn't even have the energy to crawl under her blankets, silently thanking God that Millie wasn't in the room, and as she closed her eyes, she wondered if Jed was struggling as much as she was. She very highly doubted it, he was a genius, but it would have made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone.

Though she knew she had more than one paper to write, Abbey was certain she would suffer a mental breakdown if she had to look at a single page of medical text, and she sighed as she tried to keep herself from crying. She couldn't ever remember feeling this stressed about school in the past, and as much as she knew she should have expected it, it didn't lessen the feeling. She fought the urge to roll her eyes when she heard the door open, remaining where she was, and Millie's voice was filled with confusion as she spoke.

"Abbey, are you sick?"

Abbey shook her head but otherwise remained in the same position, hoping Millie wouldn't be offended by her unwillingness to talk.

"Rough day?"

Nodding once, Abbey pulled her knees up to her chest, praying that her friend would take the hint and when Millie sat down on the edge of her bed, she very nearly screamed. Instead of speaking, Millie gently ran her hand slowly over Abbey's hair, silently offering her comfort, and as she felt her tears fall from her closed eyes, Abbey wished for even a small measure of relief.


The loud blaring of Millie's alarm clock startled her early the next morning, and Abbey jumped, blinking in confusion. She hadn't even realized that she'd fallen asleep, and when Millie tumbled from her bed groggily, she gave her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. I know you have afternoon classes today."

Abbey shook her head, waving away the apology, and smiled as she pulled her blankets more securely around her, secretly enjoying the chance to tease her friend.

"That's okay. It's only one class anyway. You go on to class and I'll just stay here, all nice and comfortable in my bed. In my silky soft pajamas and fluffy pillow while you're stuck in a classroom."

Millie laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I hate you, Abbey Barrington."

"No, you don't," Abbey replied slowly, stretching her body languidly, "Besides, think of it this way: when your day is finished, mine will just be getting started."

"Good point," Millie conceded, "Have fun in bed, Abs. Wait…that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head. I'm just…I'm gonna go to class now."

Abbey laughed quietly, though she felt significantly worse than she had the night before, and when the door had closed behind Millie, she shook her head. She knew Jed had morning classes that day as well, but she didn't really have any desire to spend her day alone in bed, and as she tried to think of a way to cheer herself up, she sighed.

What was wrong with her?

A sudden idea came to her, one she would have normally said was insane but that refused to leave her head, and as she swung her feet over the edge of the bed, she briefly wondered if this was what it felt like to lose your mind.


Nothing could have prepared Jeremy for the sight of Abigail Barrington standing on the other side of his door at ten in the morning, a smile on her face that he would have almost called nervous, carrying a bag over her shoulder. He knew she was well aware of Jed's class schedule for the day, so she certainly wouldn't have dropped by to see him, especially not looking as disheveled as she currently did, and it was this more than anything else that made him frown. He had never seen her look anything less than impeccable, so her slightly wrinkled clothing and windblown hair made him feel more than a little concerned.

"Abbey. What are you doing here so early? Jed won't be back until—"

"I know," she said quickly, "I came to ask you something that is going to sound a little strange, but just hear me out."

He nodded.

"Okay. What's on your mind, doc?"

She grimaced at the nickname, something that immediately struck him as odd, but he said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"I know it's extremely early in the morning, but do you feel like getting drunk? I don't want to drink alone."

Of all the things he had ever expected to hear from her on a Tuesday morning, this had been at the very bottom of his list, and it was several moments before he was able to think well enough to realize she was waiting for an answer.

"It's ten AM, Abbey."

She rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"And I just said that I know it's early. Believe it or not, I am aware of how time works."

It wasn't like her to be so short with him (or anyone, come to think of it), and as he looked at her, he met her eyes, trying to determine if she was serious. She certainly seemed to be, and he finally shrugged, waving her into the room with a shake of his head.

"Why the hell not? I don't have any classes today."

She smiled at him gratefully as he closed the door, and when she sat down on Jed's bed, she opened the bag she'd been carrying, pulling out several different bottles.

"I wasn't sure what you would like, so I just grabbed a few different things," she said, placing them on Jed's bedside table.

Jeremy was still so utterly confused by the entire situation that he merely grabbed a bottle at random, hardly glancing at the label, and when Abbey handed him an empty glass from her bag, he shook his head in disbelief.

"What else do you have in that bag? A dead body?"

Abbey laughed as she opened her own bottle, pouring a generous amount of liquor into the empty glass she was holding, and as she drained half of it at once, he found himself again thinking of just how strange this entire turn of events was. He would have never imagined, even in some alternate dimension, that he would be sitting and drinking with his roommate's girlfriend at nearly ten-thirty in the morning, and he frowned as he took a slow drink.

"I have to ask, Abbey…what brought this sudden decision about? It's not like you to get drunk like this, especially not early in the day."

"Ask me again after a few drinks," she said quietly, shaking her head.

Tipping back her glass, Abbey emptied it within seconds, and as she poured another, Jeremy had a strong suspicion that he wouldn't have long to wait before he would learn her true motivations.


"Do you ever feel like you're watching your life like it's a movie?" Abbey asked suddenly, reaching for the bottle she had left sitting on the table.

Jeremy frowned, considering her question, and shook his head as he poured himself another drink.

"No, but I ask myself what in the hell I'm doing with my life at least three times a day," he admitted slowly, trying not to slur his words, "Not easy feeling like a failure when you've got someone as perfect as Jed for a roommate."

Abbey snorted, trying not to spill her drink as she began laughing, pausing to take several deep breaths before answering, ignoring the strange look he was giving her.

"Trust me, Jeremy…Jed is not perfect. He lets his emotions get the better of him more often than you'd think, and he makes rash decisions when he does. He's far too trusting of other people, and I'm pretty sure his father has completely destroyed his perception of what a healthy family dynamic looks like, not that he would ever admit it. To say nothing of his 'saviour mentality'. If he sees something wrong, he automatically assumes that it's up to him to fix the problem, and anyone who tries to stop him is stupid."

She took a long drink, shuddering at the taste of the alcohol, and when she spoke again, her voice was warmer than it had been moments before.

"But, that's what I love about him. Jed would stop at nothing to do the right thing and help the people he loves. And even the people he doesn't know. He's infuriating and self-righteous at times, but most of the time, he's right. And don't you dare tell him I said that. God knows I'd never hear the end of it."

Jeremy nodded, opening his mouth and before he realized what had happened, the words spilled out, more bluntly than he had intended.

"Abbey, what the hell are you doing here?"

She sighed, looking at him seriously, taking a small drink from her glass in an effort to appear calmer than she felt.

"I think I really messed up…" she said quietly, "I don't…I don't know if I'm cut out for this."

He frowned, confused.

"For what? Being with Jed? That's crazy, he's so in love with you that—"

"No," she said, shaking her head, "For being a doctor. All my life, I was always fascinated by medicine, by the way the human body works, the way everything is so intricately connected, but…it's only the end of the first week and I feel like I'm drowning. I don't know why, but everything seems so much more difficult than last year. Sometimes, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I'll just stand there and think 'Is that really me? Is that reflection really what everyone sees?'. There are times when I don't even feel real, and I don't know why or how to stop it."

She paused, raising her eyes to his, forcing herself to make her tone lighter.

"So, in answer to your question, I am here because I'm on the verge of losing my goddamned mind, and I didn't want to drink alone in my room."

Jeremy nodded as he watched her blink rapidly, trying to keep her tears from falling, and when she realized that it was of no use, she simply emptied her glass, allowing the tears to drip onto her lap.

"Abbey, I know it's none of my business, but have you told your doctor about this? Or Jed? Or even Millie?"

She shook her head.

"God, no," she laughed bitterly, "I haven't seen Dr. Harris yet. I have an appointment soon, though. And Millie has already put up with enough bullshit from me. Jed…I couldn't stand the thought of him looking at me differently. I don't want to let him down."

Jeremy stood up, carefully crossing the room, and he threw his arms around her, hugging her tighter than he had ever held her.

"Abbey, you could commit murder and Jed would still look at you as though you were the most precious thing in the world," he told her seriously, kissing her cheek.

She laughed softly, wiping away her tears as he released her, and when he made his way back to his own bed, he stumbled over the pile of clothing, barely having time to catch himself before he crashed to the ground. Abbey felt a flash of concern as he pulled himself upright, but when she noticed that he was laughing, she relaxed, shaking her head.

"Damn good thing you don't have any classes today."

Jeremy nodded.

"What about you? Don't you have any? Nerd like you probably has a packed schedule."

Abbey shrugged, ignoring the teasing insult.

"It's just English. I could sleep through it and still pass. One missed class won't kill me. Being a nerd pays off sometimes, you know."

He was just preparing to answer her when the door opened, and Abbey's eyes lit up instantly at the sight of Jed, and she smiled as he closed the door with a confused look.

"Abbey, what are you doing here? You have your English class in ten minutes."

She waved his words away with a laugh, reaching for the nearly-empty bottle of scotch on the table.

"I can afford to miss one class," she replied lightly, her words coming out slower than usual, "I just came by for a drink with Jeremy."

Jed stared at her, certain he had misheard her, and he shook his head as he walked closer, attempting to place his books on the bedside table. He picked up the empty bottle of scotch that Abbey had just finished and tossed it into the waste basket, frowning at her as he set his books down.

"Looks like more than one drink, Abigail. How long have you two been here?"

Abbey frowned, glancing at the clock as she did some quick math in her head. The numbers refused to make sense to her inebriated mind, however, and she sighed, shaking her head in defeat.

"No idea," she admitted, "Jed, don't worry. Nothing happened except that Jeremy nearly fell on his ass a few minutes ago."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Jed said seriously, "I know nothing happened between you two. Jeremy doesn't have a death wish, and you would never do anything like that no matter how drunk you were. I'm worried about you, Abbey. This isn't like you and I'm worried that something is seriously wrong that you haven't told me."

"What, so just because someone decides to skip one class to drink a little in the middle of the day that means that something is automatically wrong?" Abbey snapped, slamming her now-empty glass on the table.

"If that person is Jeremy? No. That's a typical week for him. If that person is you? Yes. You don't drink like this, and you sure as hell don't skip class unless something is going on, so come on, babe. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong."

Abbey shook her head, the anger she felt swift and hot, and when she stood up from the bed, she swayed slightly on her feet. Jed reached out to steady her and she jerked away from his hand, her eyes hard as she looked at him.

"Don't touch me," she said quietly, "Jed, I know it's hard for you to believe, but not everyone is as seemingly perfect as you are, and no matter what you might think, it's not your job to rush in like some knight from Camelot to save them. Sometimes, things fall apart and there's nothing you can do about it."

Jed didn't think he could have been more confused if Abbey had just told him that she was secretly an undercover Russian spy, and he frowned as she took another step away from him, tears filling her eyes as he tried again to understand what in the hell was happening.

"Abbey—"

"Don't," she whispered, her voice breaking, "Jed, please. Just…don't."

It occurred to him suddenly just how pale she was and how unsteady she was on her feet, and when she swallowed thickly, he was almost sure she was dangerously close to vomiting. Rather than reaching for the waste basket as he had expected her to do, Abbey blinked slowly, her eyes glazed and unfocused, her voice barely above a whisper when she spoke.

"Jed?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't—I don't think…"

Exactly what Abbey didn't think, he never found out, her body pitching forward as she passed out, and Jed instinctively reached for her, catching her just before she hit the floor. He slowly maneuvered her so that he could lift her into his arms, her head falling against his chest as he carefully placed her onto his bed. He could feel Jeremy's eyes following his movement, but it still startled him when he spoke, causing him to jump slightly.

"You want any help? I can go get you a glass of water, maybe scrounge up some aspirin. Trust me, man…she's gonna need it."

Jed knew he should have never done it, but he turned quickly, glaring at his roommate as his entire body shook in anger.

"You've done more than enough," he spat, "How could you have let this happen? You know Abbey doesn't drink like you do."

Jeremy held up his hands in defense, looking at him with a combination of anger and confusion.

"Hey, she came to me, Jed! I was minding my own damn business when she showed up and asked if I wanted to have a drink. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong before we even started, but she wouldn't answer me. I know you might not want to hear this, but she's got a point! You hold everyone else up to your high moral standards, and any time they fall short, you turn into this self-righteous, holier-than-thou jackass that can't let it go! Abbey's a big girl, she can make her own decisions, and if she hadn't gotten drunk with me, she was going to do it alone. At least this way, she was safe!"

Jed knew, deep down, that his roommate was right, knew that he hadn't done anything to deserve his anger, but he needed to direct it somewhere, and whether he liked it or not, Jeremy was the only one in the room who could be the target.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'she has a point'? What the hell did you two talk about for however long you've been downing enough booze to kill an elephant?"

Jeremy shook his head, not wanting to betray Abbey's trust but needed Jed to understand.

"She does a damn good job of hiding it, but Abbey's struggling right now, Jed. She didn't tell me everything, but she said enough. I think you might want to actually talk to her the next time you're alone instead of just jumping into bed."

Jed glanced at Abbey, still unconscious on his bed, and frowned.

"What did she tell you? And why didn't she tell me?"

If he'd been sober, Jeremy would have never allowed himself to say it, but the words tumbled from his mouth in a rush, hanging between them heavily as he glared at his friend.

"She doesn't want to disappoint you, Jed! That's what I meant when I said she has a point. She's so terrified of letting you down and she doesn't want you to see her as anything other than okay. She's questioning everything in her life right now except you, and she doesn't want to risk it blowing up in her face! The girl is drowning, and she's so worried that you won't love her anymore that she won't tell you."

"What do you mean by drowning?"

Jeremy shrugged.

"Her words, man. Ask her yourself. Now, if you're done yelling at me, I'm going to find something I can eat."

He left the room without another word, slamming the door behind him, and as Jed stood next to his bed, he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

How had this gone so wrong so fast?


In spite of his best efforts, Jed couldn't stop replaying the entire conversation with his roommate in his head and as he watched Abbey sleep, he tried to figure out exactly what had happened. No matter which way he approached it, he couldn't find a reason for Abbey to try to drown her pain in alcohol and even as he had the thought, he remembered that Jeremy had said that she had used those exact words herself.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and just as he was preparing to go in search of his bottle of aspirin, a slight movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he turned, reaching for Abbey's hand. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the bright light, and when she realized he was next to her, she frowned.

"Jed?"

"Hey," he said softly, "how do you feel?"

She moaned quietly, rolling her eyes, and as he helped her to a sitting position, he fought the urge to smile at her unkempt appearance.

"I feel like a defective typewriter," she mumbled, shaking her head slowly.

It was clear she immediately regretted the action, closing her eyes tightly, and she covered her mouth with her hand, fighting against the need to vomit. Jed, having foreseen this, reached for the plastic-lined waste basket, and handed it to her without a word, noticing how badly her hands were shaking as she accepted it.

"Jed—"

He barely had time to grab her hair as she retched, emptying the sparse contents of her stomach, and he frowned as he realized she had consumed nothing except alcohol the entire day.

"No wonder you're sick," he remarked lightly, "You're kind of supposed to eat in moderation when you drink like that."

She said nothing, unable to do more than vomit again, and as he watched her, he wondered what could have been so bad that she would have willingly subjected herself to this retribution. When she finally straightened, he gave her a light kiss on her cheek, going in search of not only the aspirin he knew she would need, but also a bottle of mouthwash, which he knew she would want. He handed them to her with a smile, and she placed the pills into her mouth, tossing them back with an expertise he had never quite been able to manage, rinsing her mouth with the blue liquid more than once.

After she had spat the mouthwash into her empty scotch glass, she took a slow breath, willing the room to stop spinning, and Jed laughed quietly, wrapping his arm around her.

"Better?"

"Shut up," she said weakly, "I don't need your judgment."

Her words sparked the same anger he had felt earlier, but he forced himself to stay calm, knowing it wouldn't help the situation if he lost his temper.

"Funny you should mention that," he said carefully, "because I have a feeling that you and I need to have a serious talk, Abigail."

Abbey laid her head on his shoulder, her eyes tightly closed, taking several deep breaths.

"Jed, you can keep being pissed at me, but please don't talk so loudly."

"What were you thinking?" he asked suddenly, "Drinking that much on an empty stomach is extremely dangerous, and you know it. You're studying to be a doctor, Abbey! You're not that stupid!"

He felt her wince at the volume of his voice, but he was past the point of being able to care. She slowly raised her head to look at him, her eyes far angrier than he had expected, and she moved away from him as she spoke.

"You're right, Jed! It is dangerous, but isn't that the point of college? To do stupid things and break away from your parents' rules? Or does that only apply to Jeremy and every other goddamned person here but us? Just once, just once, I wanted to do something reckless and be like everyone else, and how did you react? By immediately assuming I was on the verge of a breakdown! Regardless of the fact that you were right, you could have simply chosen to just be supportive in the moment, but you jumped down my throat about it!"

"I wouldn't say I jumped down your throat, I just asked if—wait, what do you mean I was right?"

Abbey shook her head, refusing to look at him.

"Forget I mentioned it."

"No," he said, reaching for her hand, "That's how this all started, with you not telling me that you've been having a hard time. We went through this last year, remember? You spent the weekend at a hotel and scared the hell out of me for three days. I don't want to go through that again. So please…Abbey, please, tell me what's wrong."

She sighed, her hair falling around her face, and wiped her hand under her eyes.

"I can't do it, Jed. I thought I could, but it's only been one week…I feel like I…"

"Like you're drowning?" he prompted quietly.

Abbey laughed somewhat bitterly.

"Jeremy told you."

"In his defense, he was extremely drunk, and he's about as pissed at me as you are."

"I'm not pissed at you, Jed," Abbey said, sighing softly, "I'm pissed at myself. I'm pissed for getting in way over my head, for ever thinking I could do this, for—"

"Hey, hey," Jed said gently, "Hold on one second. You're the smartest person I know, and there isn't anything you can't do if you want it badly enough. Not one damn thing. Just because it feels like you're drowning right now, that doesn't mean it will always feel that way. And if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're not going to quit unless you have no other choice."

He leaned closer, kissing her softly, giving her a small smile as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"And hey, if you need to, you can always use me as a flotation device."

The words had the desired effect, making her laugh as he pulled her into his arms, kissing her again.

"I'm sorry, Jed," she whispered, "I should have just told you instead of ignoring it like I always do. I just couldn't handle the thought of you looking at me differently. It would kill me to know that I let you down."

"I'm sorry too, baby. I should have never made you feel like anything would change how much I love you. There is nothing in the world you could feel or do that would let me down."

"What if I fell in love with Jeremy?" she asked jokingly.

He laughed, kissing her hard, his hand wrapping around her waist.

"If you said that, then I would doubt your ability to become a doctor. And your sanity."

Abbey smiled, laying her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"I love you," she said quietly, "so much that it makes my head spin."

"I love you too, Abbey. But for what it's worth, I think that's the scotch making your head spin."

As he held her in his arms, Jed kissed her hair, thanking God (and not for the first time) for sending Abbey into his life, knowing that nothing else in the universe would ever be as important.


A/N: Until next time, my lovely readers! Thank you for taking a chance on this story and for sticking around! I hope I can continue to make you happy.