XII. Took My Heart, Gave It Back

Summary: After the Cullens annihilate James' coven, Isabella does not reveal the events of New Moon, believing this particular future to be avoidable. She's wrong. [Part I]

The dread settled in my gut like a stone.

Edward was a statue at my side, hands in danger of crushing the steering wheel as he sped down the freeway. The silence was oppressive, almost violently so, every word gnarling up in my throat, threatening to choke me. And before I knew it, he had already reached my neighborhood, pulling to a silent stop at the end of my driveway.

Bella's birthday hadn't been a replica of canon, but all the important events had occurred regardless: A drop of blood and a frenzy of vampires.

What a shit show.

After the defeat of James and his coven, I had wondered if things could really be resolved so painlessly. It had all felt too sudden, too easy. As a result, I had kept my silence, wary, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The weeks passed, turning into months, and without realizing it, Bella's eighteenth birthday had dawned upon us. And then, Alice had insisted on having our own private celebration, before the big birthday bash this weekend.

And still, I didn't know what I could have possibly done to make things turn out differently.

The silence dragged and finally, I forced my tongue to work, pushing out the painful truth, "You're leaving."

Edward's features twisted with derision. "Another thing you just knew, I suppose," he sighed, referring to my 'gift.'

"I thought I could make tonight different," I whispered, trying to withhold my anger. I was sick and tired of these damn books overruling my life.

His stone hand clapped against the steering wheel with a sharp crack. "Of course you knew," he despaired.

"But nothing changed." I closed my eyes. "And nothing will change. Because you've already made up your mind."

At my side, Edward nodded, once. And then, "In a few days―"

"No," I snapped. "If you're leaving, do me a favor. Don't drag this out."

Edward's expression contorted with agony, but he conceded.

For a moment, I sat there, stunned. I had always known this would be a possibility, but the reality was more painful than I'd imagined. Already, I could feel my chest collapsing into a hole of raw edges and empty space. It felt like someone had stuck a jagged knot in my throat, but I knew if I didn't say something soon, tears would surface. It wasn't something I wanted―not in front of Edward.

I struggled to find the words.

My pride wanted me to say goodbye and walk away. My anger wanted me to chew Edward up and spit him back out. My pain wanted me to make him see reason.

Ultimately, I went with my heart―what little there was left of it.

"Before you go," I began hoarsely, "can I be honest with you?"

Edward turned to me with pained eyes. "Please."

Although I could feel the weight of his gaze, I kept my eyes locked on the dash of his car. "Back in February...when you followed me to Tacoma―I told you Azmon had shown me a truth about myself."

"Yes, I recall," he whispered.

"The truth he showed me...it was my death," I confessed, the burning weight of the truth finally lifting from my shoulders. "I died, Edward."

A hand hovered hesitantly above my fist, before cold fingers gently wrapped around it. "Isabella? I don't understand."

I blinked back the tears building up in my eyes. "I'm not Isabella Swan," I croaked. "When I died, I didn't move on to an afterlife. Instead, I woke up in this body." I gestured weakly towards myself. "It's supposed to be my second chance at life, but sometimes, I wish I had been left for dead. Being alive a second time―it's wrong."

"Don't," Edward snapped. "Please don't say it's wrong. I couldn't be more grateful."

Would you say that if you knew I'd taken the place of your soulmate?

I shook off the thought. There was no point in dragging this out. It wouldn't change a thing.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "What I am trying to say is, thank you, Edward."

"Thank you?" he repeated flatly, hollowly.

"If you hadn't found me that day...if you hadn't supported me so selflessly, I'd probably be dead a second time," I confessed, shaking off his hold and reaching for the door handle. "So, thank you, Edward. And goodbye."

As I crossed the driveway, I wondered at the sinking disappointment in my gut. It didn't take long to locate the root: I'd wanted Edward to follow after me―to tell me he was making a mistake.

He didn't.

The front door shut behind me with a decisive click.


A/N: I've been wanting to write this particular spinoff for a while, so I hope you all liked it. Be sure to let me know what you think! And as always, thanks for reading! :)

In Reference to A Body of Water and Bones: Canon compliant after the annihilation of James' coven, mid-Chapter 19.