"So just a basic one target hit?" Blitzø questioned the client "Nothing fancy you want to add on?"
"No just her is all right." the Sinner clarified in a cold monotone "Although if you do end up killing anyone who tries to stop you..." a small grin perked up on his face "Well I wouldn't be upset."
Blitzø rolled his eyes and scoffed "Yeah well this isn't a murder charity, so if we do have to kill anyone else you better be ready to pay up!" he bellowed out, if there was one thing the Imp hated it was customers trying to squeeze free kills out of I.M.P.
That and vintage toy collectors ("$200 for an unboxed Spittlefly doll!? Satan's ass who the fuck thinks that makes any sense!?")
The Sinner growled back "I'll pay you, just get the job done."
Blitzø couldn't help but give a little smile from getting under the skin of his holier-than-thou client "Oh don't worry your little head about it, we will," the Imp reassured the Sinner, with a slight hint of sarcasm in his tone, "Now you got a picture of the target?"
The Sinner held a small Polaroid photo out to Blitzø "Where do they even get these photos?" the Imp wondered "It's not like they get to take anything with them."
Shaking off the thought and taking the photo, Blitzø prepared to his usual bare minimum memorization, only to feel his eyes nearly shoot out of his skull the moment they fell upon the target's face.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Blitzø muttered to himself as he recalled when he had first seen this human, just under a week ago.
It had been the day after his latest 'transaction' with Stolas, and as the Imp got dressed he couldn't help but notice how the Owl Demon seemed to be foregoing the morning pillow talk today. Blitzø Glanced to the other side of the bed to see Stolas enraptured by his phone, giving both their daughters a run for their money in the process,
"Thought you were being weirdly quiet," Blitzø stated before putting on a mock heartbroken tone "guess the phone's more interesting than me today."
The Owl Demon blushed slightly "Oh, I'm sorry Blitzy." Stolas hastily apologized "I just got a message from an old friend I reconnected with recently."
"Ah let me guess, they asked for money?" Blitzø half seriously half jokingly asked only to become legitimately interested when the Owl Demon shot him a confused glance. "No a favor?" the Imp asked only to be met with further confusion from Stolas "They wanted to kill you?" he asked with a shrug, knowing that he won't be guessing right anytime soon, "I don't know this is what usual happens to me."
Stolas quickly shook his head "Oh no, nothing like that." he clarified turning his phone to face Blitzø as he explained, "She just sent me a picture of her and her girlfriend at a park yesterday."
Blitzø glanced at the picture with half-hearted interest, it was just a selfie of two humans anyway he didn't really get what was cute about it.
...wait a minute.
"Wait, you're friends with a human?" Blitzø nearly gasped out as the mental penny dropped "Is that even allowed?"
Stolas let out a small chuckle as he explained "No less than me letting you use my Grimoire to go and kill humans is."
"So no, but we're not telling anyone?" Blitzø snarled.
"Precisely." Stolas answered with the smile of a teacher hearing their star pupil answer a question.
Blitzø rolled his eyes at the Owl Demon's praise before he asked "How did you two even meet?"
Stolas let out another small chuckle "Heh that's a funny little story actually."
"Eh hem!" Blitzø was brought back to the present by the Sinner across the desk loudly cleared his throat, clearly the Imp had been staring off into space for far too long.
"Oh uh I'm sorry..." Blitzø uncharacteristically genuinely apologized before quickly realizing that he'd lost some important information in his mind "Shit. What the fuck did you say your name was again?"
"Philip Wittebane." the Sinner, who resembled a crow with antlers made out of some kind of brown tar substance, snarled out before adding in a lower tone "You cretin."
Squinting his eyes at the Sinner, Blitzø silently made it clear he had his potential client's comment (although if Belos realized this, he didn't care.) "Right..." the Imp broke the silence as he explained "Well you see about your hit... We can't do it."
In an instant, Belos glare vanished to be replaced with nothing more than pure confusion "What?" he flatly managed to say.
"Yeah your girl's off limits." Blitzø continued, tossing the photo back at Belos, "Well unless I decide one day I want my ticket to Earth/fuck buddy pissed to the Seven Rings and back at me; which would put me permanently out of business." the Imp let out a half-crazed laugh as he finished with "You know, assuming... I don't just get killed on the spot."
"I- you- what?" Belos could only manage to babble out as he felt what little sanity he had left crumble away.
Blitzø rolled his eyes and began gently directing (i.e. shoving) Belos out of his office "Yeah, yeah, take your mumbling ass somewhere else."
And just as they reached the door, Belos shook himself out of his stupor as a single word quietly left his lips "No."
"Huh, what was that?" Blitzø asked.
"No." Belos repeated slightly louder as he turned to face Blitzø again "No. No! NO!" with every word Belos's face twisted in barely contained boiling rage "I DID NOT SPENT HUNDREDS OF YEARS PREPARING THE CLEANSING OF THOUSANDS OF WITCHES AND DEMONS ONLY TO FAIL AND BE TOLD BY SOME LOWLY SINNER I CAN'T SEEK MY RETRIBUTION!" After screaming that out, Belos threw his arm forwards, the goopy appendage stretching with a sickening sound, grabbing Blitzø by his throat and slamming the Imp into the back wall of the office.
At the sight of such pure blasphemous hatred from a Sinner, most Hellborn either cower in fear and beg for mercy or run to the nearest hellavator to get out of Pride as soon as inhumanly possible.
Blitzø, however, was far too... Blitzø to react that way.
"Yeah, well I'm not a Sinner dumbass." the Imp managed to snark out in spite of the tight grip on his throat "I'm a Hellborn, learn the difference."
Belos dragged Blitzø back to him, until the pair's faces were nearly touching and the Witch Hunter stared into the Imp's very being as he said "I. Don't. Care."
And with that, Belos raised his free hand and morphed it into a scythe's blade, his murderous intent now clearly displayed on his face. However, just before he could send Blitzø to the after-afterlife, a loud 'thwack!' rang out and Belos slumped over to reveal a very peeved Hellhound brandishing Stolas's Grimoire (with a bit of the Sinner's head goop still dripping off of it.)
"SIR!" Moxxie cried out as he and Millie quickly ran to Blitzø's side "Are you alright!?"
Blitzø brushed off both himself and Moxxie's concerns "I'm fine, thanks to my Loony Toony." the Imp squealed out the last part as he glomped into the Loona's leg, eyes wet with tears of joy, "Aw the way you brained that asshole... I'm so proud."
The Hellhound growled as she shook Blitzø off "Whatever Blitzø, I shouldn't have to save your ass all the damn time." Loona muttered out as she returned to her desk and phone.
However, that still left the issue of the unconscious Sinner to deal with.
"What should we do with him sir?" Moxxie questioned.
Blitzø stroked his chin in thought "Well he got all prudish when I made a crack about sex workers." he noted as a truly devious idea took root in his mind "Tie him up and drop him off at a strip club, make sure it's one of the kinky ones while you're at it."
And with that, Blitzø unknowingly made a certain denizen of Heaven quite happy.
