Merry belated Christmas and a very happy New Years to all! VR games have sucked up most of my time, but I haven't forgotten about this story! I hope your holidays were as wonderful as mine! Here's to a better year than this one!
And so, the proper Dressrosa Arc begins! Let us enter the land of toys and passion! Thank you to all who continue to support me even when you don't have to, my Patrons: Andrew Bohl, Animephilosopher1, Ankhseram123, Ant Franklin, Badmr7, Cam Bliss, Christopher Mitchell, Clark Kent, Claude Walker, Cordell Sanders, Cory Johnston, Darko129, David, David Bowling, David Reynolds, Emi Stafford, Eric Bandel, Eugene Malone Jr., EvilJelly, Fenrir ragnarok, FlakeTrain, Garvin Lee Nelson-Mathlin, GLADIUS315, GODA98, Illiasse Naji, Immagenius, Inucbus, Jacob McCarthy, JEP1010, Jkat, John Mekjian, Jonathan Moh, Joseph Baty, Joseph Cheung, Joseph Morrison, Joseph Vargas, Joshua, Joshua Groves, Kcx1, Kevin Calderon, Korakas, Lamont Hale, MAEGHT Maxime, Marielle Orff, Matt Walther, Matthew Burley, McBanjo, Mcgin28, Milagros Peres Davila, Milla, Neridian, Rafael Cardenas, ReactedLyric, Richard Barkley, Riley Bolerjack, Ryuu, Sasha, TheWolfThatExist, Thomas Sanders, Tom Peissig, and ViewtifulSoul! Now, on to the chapter!
Chapter 57:
The Kingdom of Passion
Sunny announced their first sighting of Dressrosa on the tenth day of travel, the crew practically crawling out of the woodwork to see the island ruled by the Warlord Donquixote Doflamingo. There was little to be seen from a distance, however, since a ring of massive boulder-shaped rocks blocked off all visual of the country from the sea.
"Where do we pull in?" Nami questioned, back in her own body once more much to the relief of everyone else on the ship, her own included. They'd all heard the yelling that morning about how much Luffy had eaten while they'd been switched and what, exactly, Nami thought about the results. They'd rather avoid dealing with that in the future thank you very much. "Law? I trust you have an idea?"
"There are only two ports on the island," the Warlord replied. "One to the south and another to the east. We will be docking at the south side."
"Why the south, if you don't mind my asking?" Coby asked. He was dressed in rather casual clothes, a salmon polo with the Crimin Brand logo on the left breast tucked into tan shorts held by a Sea-King-skin belt. "Is there a special reason?"
"That's where my crew entered when they scoped out the island for me," Law answered, pulling a piece of paper from within his jacket. He unrolled it to show a rough map of the island. "We'll enter from here—"
"That's a bad map," Ace commented. Nami had dressed him a cute t-shirt that had a round bomb with a lit fuse sitting on a dinner plate. The words 'FOOD DESTROYER' were stamped above and below, curved to incircle the picture. He also wore his orange hat and a pair of 'very cool' sunglasses, the words 'very cool' written on the side with white marker in both childish cursive and Poneglyphic. (Robin was very proud of this accomplishment.)
"Excuse me?" the pirate doctor demanded.
"Why?" Ace blinked, tilting his head. "You didn't sneeze."
"That's not…" Law growled to himself. "This is a perfectly fine map one of my crewmates made."
"But it's bad," the toddler reiterated, pointing. "See, the lines are fat and crooked. And it's just one color. There's no buildings or trees or stuff. Mommy could make a better one while sleeping, and she usually throws those away."
"Cat Burglar, control your child."
"Why?" Nami questioned, patting Ace's head. "He's right. This map doesn't have any details, topography, or decorations. It's downright amateurish. Does this crewmate of yours not have eyes or fingers?"
"No, he doesn't," Law said. "Or more accurately, Bepo doesn't really have opposable thumbs because he's a polar bear. So there."
"That's so cool!" Luffy grinned. "I want a grolar pear!"
"Polar bear!" Law corrected with a shout.
"I mean, that's not really an excuse," Chopper commented. "I only have hooves most of the time and I can still write legible medical notes."
"Define 'legible'," Grace rebuffed. She'd chosen to wear a short, single-sleeved dress that showed her left shoulder and was decorated with a diagonal fading-rainbow spectrum, each color blending into the next so smoothly that it was impossible to distinguish between them. It hugged her lithe, slim form very well in Coby's opinion —considering she'd asked for it early that morning, not that he'd say such things where the others could hear. Her legs were covered with knee-high socks she'd tie-dyed with Ace during one of her lessons to him about color theory. "I've tried to read your notes, Chopper. It looks like chicken scratch."
"Hey now," Sanji commented around his second cigarette of the day. "It's not nice to insult the chickens like that, Grace."
"Sanji!" Chopper whined. "Robin! Sanji and Grace are being mean to me!"
"Oh dear," the archeologist sighed. "It appears I'm out of tea. Sanji, be a dear and get me a refill."
"Right away, Robin-chwan~!" the chef answered, taking her cup and noodling to the kitchen. Law didn't know whether to be happy or regretful that he was starting to build up a tolerance for the Straw Hats' brand of madness to the point where he only had a minor headache rather than a full-on migraine. He decided to get them back on track before they somehow rekindled their debate from breakfast about if Goda preferred waffles or pancakes.
That the correct answer was waffles rather than flat, sticky, disgusting faux bread and that was apparently a hill he was now ready to verbally die on said the madness was starting to affect him, too.
"We will infiltrate the city through the south port," he repeated, pointing at the map once more. "Doflamingo's castle is in the center of the five cities, here. I don't know where the SMILE factory is located, though. We'll have to find that ourselves."
"Remember, Velo's mine," Nami hissed. "She had the gall to kidnap Ace right in front of me, so she deserves a few dozen lightning bolts to the face."
"I love it when you get all angry and protective," Luffy muttered.
"Aww thanks, Luffy."
"Mommy and Daddy are flirting," Ace commented.
"Get use to it, kid," Zoro muttered with a shake of his head.
"And what about you, Law?" Amy asked. She wore a lemon-yellow dress that flared at her hips and knees so to not restrict her legs' movement. The top of the dress was simple, only a few ruffles breaking up the simple cloth. A wide-brim hat dipped low on one side, all but hiding her face in shadow and, of course, she carried her reinforced parasol. "Doflamingo still has your heart, doesn't he?"
"Much to my ire, yes." Law put a hand over his chest where the literal hole was, constantly reminding him of his failure to retrieve it. "I'll need a disguise before we enter Dressrosa."
"It might be best if all our big names wear disguises," Merry thought aloud. She'd chosen to dress down in a white one-piece bathing suit under a navy-blue t-shirt two sizes larger than she needed. It had an upside-down sheep head surrounded by goldfish, the caption on the shirt reading 'sheeping with the fishes'. She also wore her cargo pants and flats, her corundum hammers at her waist and a baseball cap hiding the origin of her horns. "At least those of us with the higher bounties."
"Speaking of which," Nami blinked, "have we seen the fallout from the whole Neo-Marines incident?" As if on cue, a morning paper fell into their laps, the news coo that had carried it letting out a cry. The front page announced, 'SURGEON OF DEATH'S WARLORD STATUS REVOKED!', but the sheath of yellow-tan spilling from within was more pressing to the young mother. Nami sighed, resting her face in a hand. "I just had to open my big mouth."
Law reached for the new bounties, his own face staring back from the first one. "Considering such a delay, I wouldn't be surprised if they already had something ready for you and had to call it back in response to our actions at Punk Hazard. 460-million, huh? Not too shabby."
"You're worth more than me‽" Luffy demanded. "Not fair!"
"Uh, nope," Usopp muttered. "You're in here too, Luffy. Looks like they didn't know what to do with you after beating Z since he was a former Admiral." Usopp turned the bounty, Luffy's grinning face in a picture taken from their party on Punk Hazard looking back with the number 470-million below. The top of Ace's head and orange hat could be seen, the boy presumably sitting in his father's lap in the picture.
"Ha! I win!"
"Luffy's not the only one who got a super boost," Franky commented. "Nami, Gin, Sanji, and Kaku are here, too."
"We're the group that fought those Manias alongside Smoker and Tashigi," Nami recalled. "What are we worth now?"
"Gin's got the most at a super 210-million," Franky replied.
"I will gratefully welcome this new chapter o' my story," the monk said with a bow.
"Sanji's in second of this group at 133-million," the Cyborg continued. "He's wanted only alive, though. Super weird. Maybe Gin's is higher because they want his Fruit?"
"They actually got a picture of him," Zoro all but lamented, said picture of the blond with hearts in his eyes, serving the women of the crew food during their party while simultaneously kicking G-5 marines in the background. "Am I in there somewhere?"
"Don't know yet," Grace answered. "We'll get there when we get there. Oh, Nami! You're bounty's gone up to 47-million!"
"I don't know how I feel about my son having a higher bounty than I do even with the boost," the young mother said. Her new picture looked to be cut from the same one as Luffy's, the woman smiling and clapping as whatever he'd said to make her laugh. "I bet it'd be higher if I let them keep thinking I had a Devil Fruit."
"And Kaku's broken the 100-million mark. 'Spring Wind' Kaku, wanted dead or alive for 104-million Beris."
"Ah, here are the others," Brook said. "Yohoho! Zoro, you and Gin are tied at 210."
"Eh, good enough for me," the green-haired swordsman shrugged. "As long as I get to rub my higher bounty in Swirly Brow's ugly mug, I'm happy."
"Coby, Billy, Chopper, Grace, Amy, and I are in here as well," Merry continued. "Oh, I bet Chopper and Grace went up because you gave those kids Imidogen Hydrocarbide. Yep, there it is. 'Drugging minors with illegal substances' right there. 'Monster Doctor' Chopper wanted for 32-million and 'Magpie of Color/Mood Painter' Grace wanted for 61-million. Amy, you've gone from 28 to 43-million. We've also got 'Thunderbird' Billy for 20-million. Oh, ha! Look at that picture!"
Several crewmates looked over, Billy's picture one of when Zoro was piloting his body while fighting Velo's crab monsters with Wado Ichimonji in his beak. Grace's picture had the purple Shinokuni crystals in the background as she glared at Caesar out of the frame while Chopper's had him bent over his portable workbench, mixing the NHC10. Amy's was also from the fight with the crabs, an action shot of her ripping one of their claws off.
"You mentioned me, too?" Coby questioned.
"Right here," Merry nodded. "'Tri-Horn' Coby, now worth 129-million. And I am now worth… only 79‽ This is bu—!" Nami gave her a hard stare. "—uuullshark food! How am I not worth more than that‽"
"79-million is a respectable bounty," Robin offered. "Do recall, that was my bounty for the majority of my life."
"I… suppose so," Merry admitted. "I still think I should be worth more, though! I mean, I was the first Wood Fairy!"
"At least you got an update," Franky pouted after going through the posters and not finding a new one for himself. He crouched on the grass, using one of his smaller hands to draw circles as he pouted. "I'm still at a not-super 44."
"Neither mine, Usopp's, Robin's, nor Young Ace's rose either," Brook noted, patting Franky's back.
"My family are so famous," Ace grinned, pressing one of each of his parents' arms against the side of his face is what was probably meant to be a sort of hug.
"The timing of this article and these bounties could not have been worse," Law said, scanning what the paper had to say about him. A section of the article mentioned his alliance with the Straw Hat pirates and another offered misleading information about the Punk Hazard incident that tried to imply that the Straw Hats had also turned on Caesar for unknown reasons, and that Caesar was now in the custody of the Marines. Anyone with a healthy skepticism of the World Government would be able to tell the Straw Hats weren't around long enough to have worked for Caesar after dealing with the Neo-Marines, but he knew plenty of the world's citizenry would just take it all at face value. Well, what they thought didn't really matter anyway. "I believe disguises were mentioned?"
"At least for those above 100-million," Coby agreed, "though everyone should at least wear a hat."
"Perhaps I can be of assistance," Kin'emon offered. "With my magic, I can conjure disguises for any number of us easily!"
"We just need leaves, right?" Merry asked. "Sunny?"
"On it." The tree on the deck rustled with the ship's words, several leaves falling from its branches and floating to the floor. Merry gathered them quickly.
"Alright, who needs one?"
"Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Gin, Coby, Kaku, and Law at the least," Amy said. "Probably Nami too, given her connection to Luffy."
Sanji whirled out of the kitchen, getting down on one knee to offer Robin her drink with another profession of love. Robin simply thanked him and took the cup.
"Alright, everyone," Kin'emon nodded, placing his hands in a specific hand sign. "Place the leaves on your heads as I focus. Aaaand… poof!"
Smoke covered those Amy had mentioned, their clothing replaced with a white button-up under a black sport coat and tucked into black slacks. Each also wore a black bowler hat, sunglasses, and now sported a thick, white beard.
Even Nami, though her clothing was a bit more form-fitting than the men's, had the beard.
"What is this‽" she demanded, feeling the hair on her face as Ace giggled. A vein pulsed on her forehead as she lunged forward, punching the samurai. "Kin'emon, you moron! How dare you give a beard!"
"F-Father!" Momonosuke cried, though he dared not get between the man and the mother's wrath.
"A thousand pardons!" Kin'emon tried to yell under the physical abuse. "My mind was on other factors!"
"If it's any help, I think you look good," Luffy offered.
"Well, the clothes aren't that bad," Nami conceded. She left the samurai beaten and bruised before pulling away, ripping off the beard. That caused the disguise to turn to smoke and a single leaf, her previous pink shirt revealed once more. "I guess I'll just go put on something a little more conservative than a t-shirt and shorts and do my hair. That and a hat should be enough."
"We'll arrive in about half-an-hour," Sunny reported.
"That should be plenty of time."
"Hey, Law?" Usopp asked, the sniper studying the map. He pointed to a splotch in the upper lefthand corner of the paper connected to the island by twin lines interconnected by countless small lines (well, 37, but Usopp wasn't going to count them) so it looked like a ladder. "What's this here?"
"That's another island connected to Dressrosa by a bridge," the former Warlord answered. "The island of Green Bit. I would have had us exchange Caesar to Doflamingo there if my original plan worked to drag him away from the main island, but it won't help us here. Still, we should avoid it."
"Why?" Luffy questioned. "Is it dangerous?"
"Ships have been known to vanish mysteriously when close to it. My crew told me the locals mentioned myths about fairies being the cause."
"Fairies?" Zoro said, unimpressed. "Really?"
"I mean, this is the Grand Line," Coby commented. "Anything's possible here. With Mythical Zoans out there, it could be someone with a Fairy Devil Fruit or something."
"Yeah, or a sentient bug pretending to be a fairy," Merry agreed. "Of course, Sunny and I are the only fairies to be seen here." She blinked. "Guys, do you think there's a Klabautermann Zoan Fruit out there somewhere?"
"That wouldn't really be all that useful," Gin put in. "Iffin it let's ya turn into a ship, ya still wouldn't be able t' float."
"By that logic, there's probably a Ship-Ship Fruit with the same weaknesses," Grace muttered. "Talk about sad."
"Well, it could be super useful outside of combat," Franky considered. "Plenty of ships have a lot of cargo space in their holds. It would be an optimal Fruit for someone in the delivery business."
"Why do you keep going on useless tangents‽" Law demanded. "Dressrosa and Doflamingo are right there! We don't have time to ruminate on the theoretical powers of another Devil Fruit!"
"Someone didn't wake up on the right side of the bed," Zoro said.
"…I'm going to die here alongside a bunch of morons."
"It could be worse, Mr. Traffy," Ace offered.
"Oh?" Law questioned, an eyelid twitching at the way the child addressed him. "Pray tell, how?"
"You could die surrounded by bread."
Law's ensuing scream was laden with many, many emotions.
The towering rocks that surrounded the island of Dressrosa were much, much taller up close, the pirates gawking at them as they pulled into the south harbor. Those with Observation Haki, despite having time to appreciate the marvel of the island's natural defense, still let their senses wander in preparation for any unwanted 'welcoming committees'. Nothing was out of the ordinary, however. Sailors and dockworkers went about their business as if the Thousand Sunny were just another ship despite her jolly roger. A man greeted them at the pier as Sunny pulled to a stop and dropped her anchors.
"Hello and welcome to Dressrosa!" he called. Upon closer inspection, he was not a man at all, but a toy. His features were rounded and his hands did not have fingers, his outfit some type of old sailing uniform. "The name's Momotaro and I'm here to check you in. Got to know who's coming in and how many ships are docked, you know."
"We're just explorers," Nami said, lying as easily as she breathed. She'd changed into a simple, black dress that wouldn't stand out in a crowd and done her hair into a low ponytail, a sunhat the same color as her dress protecting her eyes. "We're trying to map the New world and the one we got of Dressrosa was… lacking." She held up the map Law had used to give them an overview. "We should only be here for a day or two at most while we chart the island properly."
"You could buy a map of the island from any number of stores," Momotaro pointed out.
"We prefer to use our own measurements, thanks. One bad store-bought map and you never hear the end of it."
"It's not my fault!" Usopp called from further on deck. "That guy told me it was the island we were on!"
Nami ignored him. "So, how much for a day's anchor?"
"Standard price for a ship this size is 40,000 Berries," Momotaro answered, tapping a clipboard in his hand with a pen. Nami looked like she bit into a particularly sour lemon.
"Honey?" she asked with a strained voice, choosing not to use Luffy's name. "Could you go get my purse?"
Luffy nodded, practically bouncing away to get the money they needed despite how much Nami didn't want to pay. Within moments, the toy had the requested money and Sunny was cleared to dock properly. The crew began splitting into their predetermined groups.
"I wanna go!" Sunny whined, her incomplete manifestation stomping a foot on the lawn. Merry, Usopp, Kaku, and Franky watched her as she tried —and failed— to pitch why she should go with them. "It'll be boring waiting here for you to get back!"
"I know what it's like, Sunny." Merry insisted, having to reach up to set a hand on the taller Klabautermann's shoulder. "We need you here, though. Mingo knows we're coming. We can't leave your main body undefended. Besides, you won't be alone. Brook, Momo, and Billy are staying here and the four of us will be here along the docks."
"But—"
"No buts, young lady," Franky said, trying to nod sagely. He didn't quite pull off the act with his blue t-shirt and red speedo.
"There's a den-den here," Merry reminded her. "If we need you, probably for a quick escape, we'll call. And if something happens here, you call us. Okay?"
"Okay," Sunny relented, her shoulders slumping.
"We're going on a walk around town," Nami announced, scooping Ace into her arms. "We'll find that factory, easy."
"Not if we find it first," Merry grinned.
"We're on infiltration and heart retrieval," Coby nodded, standing in a group of himself, Law, Grace, Amy, and Gin. Law wheezed, doubling over as, somewhere on the island, Doflamingo squeezed his heart for fun.
"I believe this is the part where one of us says that it is our group that will locate the factory," Robin grinned, her group consisting of Zoro, Sanji, herself, Chopper, and Kin'emon. "Ah, but our primary objective is to locate this Kanjuro individual."
"Alright, let's go!" Luffy cheered. He offered his arm to his wife, the woman taking it easily and walking down the gangplank.
"Wait!" Law called, Luffy and his family turning back to his fellow captain. Law pulled out a piece of paper and ripped it in half, offering one. "Take this. If something goes wrong, this Vivre Card can lead you to Zou."
"Zou?" Nami asked.
"That is where my crew went after Dressrosa on their way to Wano. Assuming all goes well, that's where we will go, too."
"Thanks, Traffy," Luffy grinned, tucking the paper into the brim of his straw hat, which itself was covered in a different, black hat. "Well then, we're off."
The small Monkey family departed, practically disappearing into the docks before making their way out into the streets, marveling as they always did when they first entered a new place. The toy working on the docks had not been a fluke as such living creations were everywhere in all shapes and sizes.
The streets of Dressrosa were alive, people and toys moving around and interacting with each other. Couples of all kinds, human and human and human and toy alike, roamed while group of children and children-sized toys wove between the crowds. The buildings themselves were almost whimsical. Not to the point of being structurally unsound, but they were decorated with bright colors and wavy patterns that almost made them look like gingerbread or candy.
"Woah!" Ace gasped, his head on a swivel as he tried to see everything at once. "This place is crazy!"
"I wonder what the food around here is like," Luffy muttered, all but salivating at the thought. Ace picked up on this and quickly announced his own hunger. Nami rolled her eyes with a smile, setting the boy down.
"This is so much cooler than that old lab!" Ace decided, grabbing one hand from each of his parents and pulling them along, even if his father looked funny with the long beard. Maybe it'd look better if he trimmed it like Old Man Garp did? "Ne, Daddy! You're hungry and I'm hungry, so let's find a place to eat!"
"I think that sounds like a plan," Luffy laughed. "Why don't you lead the way?"
"Okay!"
Nami laughed as their son led them through the streets, twisting and turning as they tried to find a delicious scent to follow. That was, up until a loud tap tap clack echoed from their left. Ace stopped, all three pirates turning to see a pair of men walking down a set of stairs.
Tap tap clack... Tap tap clack...
The first was tall and on the heavier side, dressed in a long outfit of different shades of purple with a scarf of royal purple. His black hair was cut close to his head, sideburns leading down to a manicured beard, and the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes denoted the wisdom one only gets from a long life. His eyes, however, were closed, covered in a pair of jagged scars that crossed to make an X on his forehead. His sandals were wooden, the geta providing another sharp clack every time he took a step. He tapped at each step before stepping down.
The man behind him, however, should have been familiar to the captain, even if he wasn't. It was tall with short, rusty-red hair. His eyebrows and bushy —but well-maintained— mustache were both a much darker red nearly to the point of looking black, even if the mustache was starting to show streaks of grey. His outfit was a little fancier, decorated in metals and gold trim. He walked with a cane as well but did not need it to scout out the surroundings.
"Mommy?" Ace asked, tugging at Nami's arm. "What's wrong with the old man?"
"Now baby," Nami chastised. "We don't point at strangers like that. It's rude. And what's Mommy's rule about rudeness?"
"Only be mean or rude if they're rude first!"
"That's right. Now you should go apologize to him."
Ace let go of his parents' hands and walked over to the man in purple. He raised a hand.
"Hi, mister! I'm sorry for pointing at you!"
A chuckle rumbled in the man's chest as he lowered to a knee, his companion carefully eyeing the family. "It's no problem, boy. You had a question about me?"
"Yeah! Why're you doing that tap-tapping thing with the stick? Why don't you just open your eyes?"
"My eyes don't work like they used to, my boy," the man answered, opening his eyes to show they were nothing but a milky white. Rather than disgust, Ace accepted this abnormality with interest. "I had a fight with a pirate many years ago and he… broke my eyes, I suppose. Now I use this stick to make sure I don't run into anything.¹"
"Did you try going to see a doctor? Mommy says our doctor can fix anything."
The man chuckled again and reached forward, ruffling the toddler's hair. "Blindness is not something even the best doctors can fix. Tell me, are you here with your parents?"
"Yeah! That's Mommy and Daddy over there!" Ace paused. "Oh, you can't see them, right? Sorry."
"You catch on fast. Jonathan?"
The man's companion eyed the trio, a glimmer of recognition glinting in his eyes. Nami tensed, her hand drifting toward her purse that held her Perfect Clima-Tact.
"They look like a perfectly nice family," the redhead —Jonathan— decided. "Nothing abnormal at all."
"I see," the man in purple said, Jonathan rolling his eyes. "Tell me, do you folks know where we can find some food or a gambling house around here?"
"We were actually looking for some food ourselves," Nami answered, relaxing. "Our ship just arrived this morning. We're cartographers."
"Oh. Well, thank you anyway. Jonathan, we're going left. I'm feeling lucky today."
"Of course, sir." The two men made their way down the street, the taller dutifully and patiently following the blind.
"Bye-bye!" Ace waved. "Hope to see you again, Mr. Blindness Guy!"
Luffy sniffed, his mouth starting to salivate as he lifted Ace and grabbed Nami's hand.
"Come on! I smell something tasty!"
"This place is not what I expected," Grace commented, the young woman walking arm-in-arm with Coby as they moved through the streets. Only the uncommon citizen looked at the group funny for having three men with the same clothing, hat, and sunglasses. Gin had trimmed his fake beard into a fu manchu and Law had cut his short. "I thought there would be, I don't know, more crying and destruction for a country under an evil Warlord dictator?"
"Do not let this peaceful façade fool you," Law hissed. "I wouldn't be surprised if this were all an act."
"This place is giving me the creeps," Coby admitted with a shiver. "Those toys everywhere? They have souls. I can feel their lights, but all of them are scared and in pain."
"Well," Amy sighed, "that just made this place pass the threshold from cute to creepy."
"Shall we question one o' these toys and compile their story?" Gin asked.
'I do not believe that is something we should involve ourselves with,' Rum whispered in his mind. 'I fear what would happen to me if you did something foolish and befell whatever happened to them. I cannot take over your body if you lose it.'
"Estella!" a voice yelled. The group turned to see a robot being restrained by a pair of guards, the toy desperately calling out to a woman holding a little girl. "Estrella, it's me! Please remember! It's me!"
"That poor girl," an older woman muttered, the pirates within earshot. "That toy's caught Human Illness."
"Pardon, ma'am," Coby said. "Could you please elaborate on that? My crew and I only arrived today."
"Ah, foreigners," the woman nodded. "Here in the kingdom of Dressrosa, humans and toys produced by the Donquixote toy factory live together, but no production is without its… defects. Every now and then there's a toy that convinces itself that it's a human. We call this Human Illness and it's a great hassle on all of us."
"And, if you don't mind my asking, where is this factory?"
"At the base of the castle, deary," the woman answered. "Don't bother, though. It's strict law that no human is allowed to enter the Toy House, and no toy is allow inside a human's house."
"Why?" Grace blinked.
"Because King Doflamingo decreed it. We don't need any other reason than that."
"That's an odd amount of reverence for a pirate, don't you think?"
"Odd?" the woman echoed. "I don't think so. He and his crew saved us, after all."
"Doflamingo saved you?" Coby pressed. "How? Why? From what?"
"It was ten years ago," the woman recalled. "The former King Riku Doldo the Third went mad. He begged the people for money and we gave willingly, only for him to then go on a rampage, slaughtering everyone in his path. That's when King Doflamingo arrived, stopping the mad king in his tracks. The people offered him the throne in return and he's brought prosperity to us ever since."
The guards started dragging the robot away, its screams for Estrella growing louder. Coby reached for his swords, ready to intervene, only for Grace to grab his wrist. He looked at her only for her to shake her head. Making a scene now would only draw attention to them. A growl rumbled in the back of his throat, but he relented.
"As lifelike as they are, the toys are just toys," the woman said. "Unlike some of the youngsters, I can tell that easily. They're only meant to liven things up around here. They certainly do, too. Ah, I remember stabbing a toy claiming to be my long-lost husband. How foolish it was. I've never been married. Ha!" The woman walked away, muttering to herself about her lifelong bachelorette life.
"I don't care what she says," Coby growled. "Those toys are not just toys."
"We can scout out this toy factory she mentioned," Law agreed. "That said, my heart is a higher priority at the moment. By the end of the day, Doflamingo's reign will be over."
"We should get moving," Amy suggested. "I don't think we want to be here too long. The guards might get suspicious."
"Right," Coby agreed. "Let's hurry."
"It smells and looks wonderful!" Sanji cheered as Group 3 entered the town from another street. "Smell the food! Look at the dancers! Smell the dancers!"
"That's just creepy," Zoro muttered with a shake of his head. He'd cut away the beard of his disguise, leaving only the mustache. "Do not go smelling the locals, Curly Brow."
"Please do not go attacking the locals, either," Robin commented. Rather than walking, rode sidesaddle on Chopper in his Walk Point despite not having a saddle. She frowned, taking in the view. "Something is not right."
"What is it, Robin-chwan?" Sanji questioned on one knee. "Is it the mosshead? Is he bothering you with his foul smell and ugly mug? I can get rid of him for you!"
"Screw off, Shit Chef!" said mosshead spat. "More likely she's getting dizzy at the sight of your eyebrow!"
"What was that, you grass-headed mantis?"
"You heard me, you virgin man-thing!"
"How dare—‽"
"Shush!" Robin ordered. "No, it's the architecture here."
"The architecture?" Kin'emon echoed, seeing as neither Zoro nor Sanji were in any state to respond, tugging at each other's fake facial hair as they were. He had remained undisguised, though he'd covered his topknot with a hat. "What about it seems peculiar? Besides the designs, of course."
"It's all new. Built within the previous decade by my estimates, though I could be more precise if I acquired a closer look."
"Yes!" Sanji agreed. "A closer look! That's exactly what we need!"
"The only thing you want to look closer at is a dancer's dress," Zoro snarked.
"Now that is an idea!" Kin'emon grinned.
"Help!" someone yelled, all attention on the street going to a tall, scarecrow-like toy on the edge of the next street over. "Help! A man's been stabbed!"
"Stabbed?" Robin echoed with an arched brow. "How peculiar. What do you suppose transpired?"
"Ah man, another one?" a bystander blinked. The pirates turned only to find said bystander was a soldier drummer toy a little shorter than they were. His arms and legs were connected to strings leading up to a wooden crossbar hanging over his head.
"Another one?" Zoro asked. "You mean this happens all the time? Have you all got a serial killer on the loose or something?"
"No, nothing like that," the toy replied. "It's the women around here. They are very passionate, and maybe prone to a little violence. If they catch their man cheating, more often than not a heel or a knife or something else sharp comes out."
"And this type of instance happens regularly?" Robin queried.
"Something like that. For some women, their man even looking at another woman counts as cheating. It seems the more beautiful ones are more violent."
"How scary," Chopper muttered.
"Did your deer just talk?"
"No, don't be silly," Robin waved off.
"Wait, you look familiar…" The toy drew closer and his eyes would have narrowed if they weren't painted on. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"
"Don't you dare get so close to a lady without her permission!" Sanji growled, placing himself between Robin and the toy drummer.
"Oh dear, how rude of me!" the toy realized. "So sorry! Well, I'll be off. Please enjoy your stay in the kingdom of Dressrosa!"
The drummer walked off, drumming to himself. The group of five glanced at each other, now wary.
So was the Straw Hats' first interaction with the townsfolk of Dressrosa, the Kingdom of Passion.
End of Chapter 57
¹A note: Yes, I am aware that Fujitora blinded himself Canonically, and that is what happened. However, can you imagine trying to explain to a toddler why someone would blind themself because of the evil in the world? His answer about a pirate doing it was a white lie, one I'm fully aware of.
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-SwordOfTheGods
