AN: I'm back.
Sleep was the furthest from Sakura's reach as she struggled to get through her days with just half of her brain awake.
It had been four days since she faced the assassination on her life, and the blades weren't the last time she came within an inch to her end. Going into the rocky trail along the lake road was her mistake when the arrows struck from beyond the trees and the perpetrators were long gone when Sakura started dashing around in their search. Sakura was lucky she got off with just a graze. She hasn't visited the lake since.
A large yawn rose up her throat and Sakura hid her gaping mouth behind her hand. She has been trying unsuccessfully for the past hour to meditate her anxious nerves. The deprivation of sleep has already made her look and feel like a corpse warmed over. The least she could do is try to calm her mind so that she could function through the hours without losing her goddamn mind.
A sigh of exhaustion left her chest as her form slouched from her previous rod straight posture before she fully laid down on the roof. It was before dawn and before anyone in the compound is supposed to be awake but Sakura is familiar with being awake at ungodly hours for the sake of staying awake.
She sighed once more before ultimately giving up on the hope of getting any meditation at all. She was interrupted when a call of her name was heard from behind her.
"Lady Sakura!"
Sakura looked behind her to see the brown hair of Ayame peeking out from behind a pillar, a smile on her young face so carefree. "Lady Sakura, I've brought your tea and some buns."
Sakura furrowed her brows slightly, rolling off from her laid state into a stand. "I didn't ask for buns?" Ayame smiled before nodding a little sheepishly, "I know lady Sakura, but I thought you would be hungry. It's still not time for breakfast, so I assumed some tea and steamed buns would sate you."
Sakura felt her heart softening a little at Ayame's sheepish smile. Her eyes and smile reminded her so much of the young redhead she failed to save and she desperately tried to find what little comfort she could get from the childish joy of the maid. "Thank you."
Ayame grinned freely and Sakura slid down from the roof and beside Ayame. They started walking again down the hallway but Sakura's attention was stolen by something, or someone, striding into the courtyard from inside the building of the main residents. It was the same man she bumped into while coming from the king's office, the only difference being he was wearing normal clothes. But even the normal clothes looked too… regal to be just a civilian's. "He's still here…" Sakura murmured under her breath and Ayame blinked at her in surprise.
"Huh…" Following her gaze to where she was looking and realization dawned on her. "Oh! Do you know him?"
"No." Sakura replied but she still kept following his form with her eyes. He was garbed in grey silks that looked luxurious instead of the sleeveless black shirt he wore previously. But his silver hair was just as much of a mess as it was before and he still had the black warps nose down. And he held an obnoxiously coloured book in front of his face.
"I bumped into him the other day. I just thought he was a passing visitor. He still seems to be here." What she didn't mention was the uncanny feeling she got from him. The inkling of vague recognition stayed close enough for her to see but not quite catch. The hair, the eyes, the visage, even the voice tickled her memories frustratingly.
Ayame's response was a hushed whisper. "That's his majesty, prince Kakashi." Sakura looked at her with eyebrows raised. "He's the third prince and the king's advisor."
"Ahh…" Sakura hummed, watching the man in grey robes cross the courtyard until he was hidden behind the walls of the building. "I should perhaps introduce myself to him sometimes then, just out of courtesy if nothing else." The other reason was unsaid on her lips.
She followed the maid into her room and found the dandelion tea and steaming red bean stuffed buns waiting for her on the chabudai.
She went through the motions of her day half awake but her senses were working overtime staying alert. After the encounter by the lake, she would flinch at every little rustle of leaf or pass of shadow.
The side effects of her paranoia were clearly visible on her face in the form of dark shadows under her eyes and Sakura tried her hardest to make them less noticeable, but the worried glances Ayame was throwing her during the breakfast told her that her efforts were in vain.
Sakura felt her eyes weighed down under the strain of sleeplessness and took out the pouch of the pills the physician gave her, popping one in her mouth and swallowing it dry. It was supposed to help her regain her strength from the previous nights, but it doubted it would do any good to her if she continued refusing rest.
She was once again by the training ground, legs folded criss cross on the large boulder. Her haori was discarded off to the side and she couldn't have been bothered to put on a more presentable shirt. The loose yukata shirt was all she was willing to put up with.
Her rare state of calm was very unceremoniously broken by a very annoying and familiar od her name, once again.
"Lady Sakura."
Sakura suppressed the twitch in her eye and pretended to not hear it the first time. But when the second yell came again and nearer this time, it would've been way too obvious if she ignored him now. With a sigh from her chest and a forced smile of politeness on her lips, she turned around to face him.
"Prince Shisui."
The prince looked as bright and chirrupy and annoying as ever. She had managed to avoid him since the last week and the last encounter she had with him at the banquet. Maybe it was her lack of sleep but she felt much less inclined to put up with other people's nonsense.
Shisui grinned at her rakishly, his clothes crisp and his face perfectly healthy in contrast to the shadows under her eyes, limp hair and careless choice of clothing.
"What a pleasant morning for me. It was already going good, but seeing you just made it wonderful." His voice was as velvety as silk but Sakura could recognize the smooth-talking from a mile away. She opted for just giving him an awkward chuckle that should've told him to stop bothering her.
"Good morning, my prince."
"Aww, don't be so uptight, we're friends right." Shisui advanced toward her and while Sakura just wanted to turn around and walk away, she remained standing beside the boulder anyway. He leaned down slightly while walking as if trying to talk closer to her face. "You've been avoiding me."
"I'm not. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." Sakura smiled tightly. Her curtness didn't seem to affect him in the slightest as he sidled up closer to her, too close for her comfort.
"No no, you've definitely been avoiding me." His voice suddenly took a darker tone, though still jovial, something about the undertone in his voice made her stand straighter. "I approached you and made my intentions very clear, and you still continue to play with me."
"I'm not playing with you, I think I was pretty clear in my response."
"Were you?" Shisui feigned ignorance and Sakura felt her temper flaring up dangerously. She couldn't keep the tight smile up on her face anymore. Trying to amicably reason with him was fruitless when all he seemed to do was run around in circles and end up in the same place they started.
"I should probably take my leave." Her face was blank and voice even more cold, "Have a nice day, my prince." Sakura turned around to leave but got an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu when she once again felt the weight of a hand on her wrist.
'Here we go again.' Sakura wanted to sigh at the incredulity of the situation. "May I help you, my prince?" She tried to get him to release her wrist but his grip was steady as the day. They were in the same position as they were during the banquet, with him turned away from her and unruly hair shading away his face. "Prince Shisui?"
Dark clouds rolled around in the sky and shielded away what little sunlight was there before the daybreak and Sakura suddenly felt the temperature dropping a degree when the wind blew by. Shisui was still silent, but under his silence there was something darker that made Sakura's nerves stand on the edge.
"Why?" the voice was not even remotely close to his usual playful tone. Sakura tried taking another step away from him but his grip only tightened on her arm, halting her in her step.
"I don't know what you mean."
Shisui turned his head to the side to look at her sideways but Sakura still couldn't see his eyes through his bangs. "Why do you continue to lie?"
"I don't lie." Sakura responded just as blankly with her metaphorical hackles raised. The sparks of agitation and frustration with the prince's lack of awareness that kept flashing through her body made her want to punch him in the face till he could get her response branded through his skull. But alas, he was a prince and she just an imperial worker.
Shisui actually turned around to face her, but he wore an expression that was a peculiar mix of blankness and too much flashing in and out at the same time. He took a step forward but the grip on Sakura's wrist prevented her from doing the same. "Why do you continue to dance around me and continue to avoid me? Why?"
"I have to because you keep pushing me!" Sakura was exasperated. "You propositioned, I refused. That should've been the end, but it isn't!"
"And I want to know why." Shisui strangely looked just as irritated. "Why are you so opposed to me? What am I lacking?"
Sakura breathed out a frustrated sigh, yanking her wrist away from his grip. "Nothing! You are the prince, a handsome an competent one, I'll admit. There is nothing amiss except the fact that I don't want it. With you or with anyone else. But the bigger picture is, my reasons are inconsequential to you not taking the hint." Her anger was steadily rising under her skin and she was sure that if she was doused in water, steam would've been rising off of her.
Shisui was silent for a minute and Sakura wanted to take the window to fly the scene, but when she took the step, her path was once again blocked by the prince. Sakura looked up at him with a frown and the unreadable expression on his face made her even more confused if not annoyed. After a minute of silence, Shisui spoke up again, so quietly she almost didn't hear him.
"I don't understand."
A silent wind rolled past Sakura and she blinked twice in response, her mind moving at a slow pace to register his words. "You… don't understand?" Sakura couldn't resist snorting ungracefully. The absolute exasperation she felt at the prince was so high up in her head, that she just started laughing. Starting with a chuckle, before it became louder and then Sakura had to turn away her face before she was clutching her stomach and cackling like a crone.
"S-Sorry." Sakura wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. Shisui looked perplexed at her reaction and Sakura couldn't help and huff out another chuckle at that. "Ah… forgive me for laughing. But really, if you still 'don't understand' why I'm adamant on avoiding you, then I have less than appropriate respect for the intellect of the imperial court." Her smile was a sneer. "I pity you."
She didn't wait for Shisui to respond this time, instead going around him and speedwalking back to her room. She didn't pause to look back until the screen door to her engawa was firmly shut behind her.
Shisui didn't move for while even after Sakura flew past him and the cool breeze continued blowing by. His mind was buzzing with the newest interaction he had with the doctor, but it felt like as if he was talking to her for the first time.
He had tried seeking her out right after the banquet, but she managed to escape him every time, and when he actually does manage to get a hold of her, she leaves again with his blood rushing and more questions than he had before. It was like watching a trainwreck go downhill as Sakura became a storm with each word spoken, eyes alight with anger and he didn't understand her. At all. Why does she continue to toy with him like this?
"Do you never learn?"
Shisui looked over his shoulder at the new voice and found Itachi leaning against the tree that lined the boundary of the training ground. His eyes narrowed a little at his cousin, huffing out a breath of irritation. "There is nothing to learn."
"There is though." Itachi was quick to retort, shaking his head like a disappointed parent. "Shisui, please stop embarrassing us. She's been telling you to leave her alone for over a month now." Itachi wore the same look of defeat and it made Shisui frown even more.
"So what?"
"So what?" Itachi looked at him as if he had three heads, "Are you seriously asking 'so what'? Shisui, you cannot be this stupid."
Shisui groaned in irritation, raking a hand through his curls before he started stomping toward the corridor. "Whatever, I'm not having this talk with you." Itachi didn't seem to take his dismissal kindly when he swiftly blocked his path. "What the hell!"
Shisui tried going around him but Itachi just slid in front of him again. "Why are you so against me now? You used to side with me." Shisui looked at Itachi in frustration but every attempt he made of leaving the grounds was swiftly blocked and he was getting annoyed by the seconds.
"Because I'm tired of covering for you."
Shisui blinked up at his cousin in surprise and Itachi sighed tiredly. "Come on Shisui, can you not see it. You are driving her away." Shisui rolled his eyes, pushing past him to turn around the corner. Itachi fell into his steps beside Shisui easily enough. He frowned at the back of curly locks, put off by the lack of tact.
Shisui stuck his fists in his pocket, his shoulders rolled back and pace unbothered. He just shrugged at his cousin, his eyes pulling toward the door on the far left corner of the hallway, maybe the pretty clanswoman will make his mood lighter. But before he could turn the hallway, a hand clasped on his shoulder.
Shisui let out a sigh, looking back at his cousin in question but the look of agitation on Itachi's face surprised him. "What?"
Itachi was silent for a moment but the look in his eyes prevented Shisui from just rolling his eyes again and leaving. "I've never seen you so completely disregard someone else before, why are you doing it now?"
His eyes darkened when the question caused him to think further than he would like to. "I'm not having his conversation with you." He reiterated again but the grip on his shoulder tightened, warning him against running again. Itachi rarely ever used force against Shisui, or any of his kin for that matter, so when he did, Shisui knew better than to go against the warning.
He turned around to face his cousin, displeasure clearly visible on his face. "What do you even want from me?"
"I want your answer." Itachi responded calmly, but it was the type of calm that came before a storm. A calm of muted danger. "Doctor Sakura has been gracious enough to overlook your transgressions till now, but I would advice you to cease it before she takes it up with father. You know he takes these complaints very seriously."
Shisui's mood soured further at the quiet threat. "None of the clanswomen ever took it to uncle."
"That's because they seemed to enjoy your company. Don't inflate your pride enough to think that it will be the same with everyone." Itachi dropped his hand from his shoulder, sidestepping his cousin to walk toward the stables. "I'm only saying this for your own good. She is our guest and holds a powerful position in the court, she has the power to a complaint. A formal complaint wouldn't look very good on your name."
And with that, Shisui was once again left alone with his thoughts. Against his will, his mind turned to the shadows of a man and a woman, angry yells and screams being flung throughout the quarter. Against his will, the feeling of being small and scared returned and he shook his head when his mind started wandering deeper.
Temper flaring and agitation rising under his skin, he grunted to himself and stalked away toward the room on the far left corner of the hallway. He needed something to heat him up in better ways.
It was past midday when Sakura returns back to the compound with her arms full of books from the town library, some for stories, some for education. The sun shone high in the sky, only increasing the temperature to thin robes and bare chested men, but Sakura hasn't dared steering away from her Shitagi shirt and training pants.
She turns the hallway on the second floor when she is nearly once again face to chest with someone. Sakura staggered back with a surprised yelp, almost dropping her books in the process.
"Well well, it seems like we have the fate of always running into each other."
Sakura looked up at the perpetrator and blinked at the masked face and the loose yukata opened at the chest. "A-Ah." Remembering who the man was, she half-bowed a little disoriented. "Ah, my prince, I wasn't looking where I was going. Forgive me."
Sakura straightened up to see his eyebrows raised under his silver bangs. "No, it's quite alright." He tilted his head a little to the side, "You are…?
Sakura folded her arms behind her back, bowing to her waist. "Doctor Sakura Haruno, imperial doctor of Hiraisumi and a guest to Kuroshima"
His eyebrows raised further up, "Are you the doctor that came here to help with the plague?" Sakura nodded in confirmation and Kakashi nodded with a hum, looking past her beyond the railings and nodded at her. "It was a pleasure to meet you, I hope I'll see you around the house." He looked at her from his taller eye level point, but the look in his mismatched eyes made her skin prickle under her sleeves. "Lady Sakura."
Sakura followed his form with his eyes as he walked past her and turned to the staircase before she was on her way again toward the gardens. When she was just at the edge of the shaped hedges, she could already see the blonde hair and purple yukata seated on the stone bench by the garden table.
At the sound of her sandals on the stone walk, the Yamanaka heiress looked up from her cup of tea and her blue eyes widened at her. "Good grief forehead, how long does it take for one to get here." She asked rhetorically, letting out a huff with her eyebrows drawn in annoyance. "I aged five years waiting for you."
Sakura chuckled under her breath, sliding inside the other bench with a steaming cup of tea already in front of it. "Maybe that's why you look so old. Is that a new wrinkle?" She ignored Ino's gasp of indignation in favour of sipping on her beverage. The blonde huffed again, flipping open her fan and waving it on her face like the wings of a hummingbird.
Sakura was silent for a while, content with just sipping on her tea but the pause in Ino's fanning made her look up. The baby blue eyes were fixed on her in a stare like she was trying to read a book.
"What?"
Ino tapped her fan on her lips, eyes narrowing at her. "What happened?"
Sakura blinked. "Nothing. Why would anything happen?" Ino clicked her tongue, waving her closed fan like she was wagging her finger. "I don't believe you. You are frowning, your shoulders are withdrawn, your feet are tapping on the ground and you are restless. I'm the daughter of imperial interrogator, don't bother denying." She recited her movements like she was reciting an item list. "So what exactly is going on?"
"Nothing." Sakura didn't sound believable even to her own ears, and the look Ino gave her certainly didn't help. She sighed, putting her teacup back down, "It's… just a man around here who does not know how to take no for an answer." She mumbled under her breath, kicking her heel in the grass in embarrassment. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about in this situation, she is a grown woman for god's sake! But sharing anything happening around her with anyone makes her feel mortified.
"Let me guess," Ino deadpanned, "Shisui Uchiha." Her surprise must've shown on her face when the blonde chuckled airily under her breath. "I guessed so, he's such a peacock. I don't know why you're resisting his advances. I sure as hell wouldn't have if I was you." Sakura rolled her eyes at the blonde's swooning, "But still, just don't give him attention. He'll tire eventually."
"One can only hope." Sakura waved her away, "I didn't come here to talk about him. Tell me what your problem is."
Ino flipped her long blonde ponytail and put down her fan with a huff. "Oh brother, do I have some stories for you."
Over the next hour, Ino expanded her short story about the new suitor her father chose for her into a full fledged novel about everything that is wrong with the man and his whole bloodline. He's short, he doesn't like flowers, he thinks women are a waste of money but he is too much of a Casanova to do without them. His father is a greedy prick, his mother doesn't seem to like her, he has two brothers that seem to be infinitely more handsome than him but are too old for her. The list didn't end for over an hour and Sakura only got to give some occasional inputs in between.
When Ino seemed to have exhausted her breath, she slumped down in her bench, taking a long gulp of the tea until it was empty. "Anyway, I should get going. I came here to vent to you, you're probably busy."
Sakura didn't voice that actually, yes, she is quite busy. But as she was getting up, Ino turned around with a raised finger. "Another thing, I'll give you a heads up. I heard my father talking about it, the imperial family of Muroshiki might be coming around here, and our king might call you up, without much notice. The princess is a bitch and the prince is kind of a perv. Don't pay them much mind. And the next tea is at my house, next week."
Before Sakura could question her further, the blonde was gone again. 'Well.' She shrugged to herself, turning away and walking toward her own chambers.
When she felt the stare of the mismatched eyes on her, she didn't turn to check.
Spending himself out in the arms of a clanswoman wasn't enough and Shisui stayed agitated the whole day and even through the night. When the moon hung low in the sky and the rest of the compound was in a deep slumber, he found himself walking the hallways of his home.
Shadows played on the wooden floor and he found his eyes drawn to the other side of the residential unit, the one for the guests, the engawa that was on fourth to the right with a small bamboo cluster beside it. Something strange curled in his chest when he looked at it for too long, the same feeling he got whenever she denied his advances.
At first, her denial had been interesting, thrilling even, he loved the chase. But after time and time again, her rejection almost… stung. Itachi has been getting frustrated with him too, but he couldn't take it well. The rejection didn't feel nice.
He looked up and to the side where one particular room's balcony was dully alight from the lamps in the room, and he decided to turn his steps toward that room. The halls were empty so no one questioned him when he slid the door without a knock or permission and slipped inside.
The room was glowing from the light of the oil lamp on the table and a shadow fell on the floor from the figure hunched in front of it. He looked back over his shoulder, almost not even surprised to see Shisui at his doorsteps. "Ah, dear nephew, what a pleasant surprise to see you." Izuna mused airily as Shisui stomped toward his bed and plopped down heavily. "Though I do have to ask you why at this ungodly hour."
Shisui laid on the bed with his arms splayed, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Izuna is not the brother he spends most of his time with, but he is the brother he reaches out for whenever he needs advice. "I'm pretty sure Itachi has talked to you about me."
Izuna closed the scroll he was reading before fully turning around to face the younger male. "He has, but not the whole ordeal." Izuna responded calmly, "He says you've never acted like this, which I think so too. But I want to hear it from you."
Izuna waited patiently when Shisui didn't answer, because truth be told, he didn't know the answer himself. Just why does her rejection sting in particular? "I… don't know." He answered truthfully, seeing no reason to hide anything from the brother he always went to anyway. "I mean, it could be because she's really the first person to- to…" He faltered, "I don't know."
"To have continued to constantly reject you every chance you give her and make a fool of you. Perhaps." Izuna hummed from his seat, seemingly unconcerned with Shisui's predicament but he knew that if there was someone who could get him out of the jumbled mess that was his own feelings, despite the teasing and taunts in between, it would be him. "Have you ever thought that maybe… it's because of Hae and Saizo?"
It took less than a second for Shisui's emotions to darken, his head whipping toward Izuna but the older man looked less than bothered by him. "What do you mean?" He nearly growled.
Izuna looked at him with a deadpanned face, hands twirling a half empty cup of sake. "Shisui, you have run enough, it's about time you bury the skeletons. It's only Sakura today, who is gracious enough to give you a pass, it will be someone less forgiving tomorrow."
His eyes only continued to darken and he sat up with a huff. "I thought you would help me." He actually did growl this time, feeling like an animal cornered against his will. His cousin, or more like uncle, shook his head with a sight, setting the sake cup down on the table.
"I am trying to help you. But I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."
His frown didn't slide down from his face and the uninhibited images from his childhood days flooded in his mind. Two shadows screaming, fighting, throwing things. A woman on her knees, sobbing in her hands. A man slumped by the wall, a dozen of empty sake bottles littered around the room. Strange faces he has never seen in the room late at night, on the bed, tatami mat, him looking from behind the slightly ajar door.
He never liked those images.
Without another word, he got up from the bed, making a beeline for the door but a last comment from Izuna reached his ears before he slid it close behind him.
"Just think about it. You need to face it before you dig yourself deeper in a hole."
It was another dawn and Sakura was starting to think that maybe she should just stay inside until the sun comes up. Nothing good ever seems to happen before sunrise.
But it was the best time to meditate and the time when the world is the quietest, the air cleanest, and her mind the sharpest. She was once again perched on top of the boulder in the training ground, back straight, legs folded and eyes closed. For the first time in the last eight days, Sakura managed to get more than a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.
It wasn't easy, and her paranoia was screaming in her mind the whole time, but she wired the doorway, locked the window and kept her blades under her pillow. Maybe it was the days of sleeplessness catching up to her but her mind was too tired to conjure up anymore disturbing dreams. She felt significantly better than she did in days.
The air felt cooler when she breathed it in and she opened her eyes to the slowly brightening sky. Maybe it was the stillness of sounds around her, but she could hear even a pin drop. And that's when she heard a door slide.
Sakura looked to her side to the floor above when a door to a room slid open, and the mop of silver hair she recognized sauntered out. He looked a little dishevelled, and he was a prince, so why was he not in the imperial residential side of the building.
'Oh?' She raised an eyebrow as she watched him rake a hand through his hair before disappearing around the corner that led to the stairs. A second later, another figure appeared from the same door. A woman with dark hair and robes that she recognized belonged to the lower members of the clan. Her appearance was even more unkempt. 'Oh…'
"Oh so he's that kind of man." She muttered to herself, a slight sarcastic smile on her lips as her eyes trailed after the woman in blue robe, fumbling to pat down her hair and robe. Maybe it was a common feature of imperial men to chase the skirts of noblewomen. 'Figures.'
She chuckled to herself in amusement and closed her eyes again, but the sound of distant footsteps made her open them again. She didn't look behind herself immediately and evened out her breath until the footsteps drew closer. The clicks of the heels stopped a few metres away from her and for a moment, the interrupter didn't say anything.
"Lady Sakura."
Sakura sighed in exhaustion at the painfully familiar voice. She has managed to avoid the prince since their confrontation two days ago, but looks like her luck ran out.
She didn't reply the first time but turned around the second time he called her. It was again the same prince with curly hair, light shirt and training pants. But this time, it seemed a little different. He stopped right outside the invisible bubble she formed around herself, not attempting to push himself inside her personal space. And he even looked different, even though she cannot see what unusual change he made on himself.
He smiled brightly. "What a fine morning to catch you, lady Sakura." He greeted her like he always did. And like always, Sakura nodded with a grim 'good morning'. She didn't exactly expect him to just stop because she was more transparent. He is someone who has gotten every woman he chased after and words of rejection are probably not something that he is used to hearing, it would take more than one confrontation to mellow him out.
The smile remained plastered on his face and Sakura was dreading the next words that would come out of his mouth, words of rejection already on her tongue but his question took her by surprise.
"Would you spar with me?"
Sakura blinked twice, dumbfounded. "A spar?"
"A spar." He reiterated. Sakura measured his form with a sceptical eye, cautiously looking for any sign of distrustful movement. "Just a spar?" He nodded, his smile widening.
"Just a spar."
After a minute, she nodded reluctantly, sliding down from the boulder to follow after the prince. He took his position in the centre of the training ground and Sakura mirrored him to take her position in front of him, a few yards of distance between them.
When Shisui didn't start, Sakura attacked first with her fist. Shisui dodged her, counterattacking her with his hands like spears. She dodged, following his actions and throwing her legs toward him in a sharp kick only to be met with air. Every attack she threw, he seemed to dodge or counter it before it reached him.
'He's fast.' Almost inhumanly fast, lean and agile like a cheetah chasing after a deer.
The first few minutes went silently, the air only filled with the sounds of fists and kicks, before they jumped away from each other, panting to catch their breath.
"You're pretty great at this you know." Shisui grinned from the other side, knees bending to launch himself for another attack. Sakura's pants were harsher than his. 'How is he not tired?' She looked him up and down before widening her legs to stand stronger.
"What do you actually want? You didn't invite me to just a spar."
He didn't answer her, instead running toward her and ducking just when she threw her fist forward, grabbing her arm from below and twisting it behind her. Sakura grunted in response, twisting down to avoid her arm accidentally snapping and threw a kick to his gut, relishing in the grunt of surprise when it actually landed.
He released her arm, jumping back and twisting himself in a helicopter kick that forced Sakura to retreat. Her shoulder throbbed where his kick landed and her elbow strained from the twist but she refused to put a mind to it when he came at her again. 'Is he taking his revenge on me for rejecting him?' most likely not, but it was still a thought.
His grin never faltered from his face, but it softened out slightly when they jumped apart from each other. "How are your parents back home?" Sakura was taken aback by his question but recovered before he could use her distraction to his advantage.
"I don't have them. They died when I was an infant." One would expect her to feel hurt or sad at the revelation, but she didn't feel that. Why would she mourn for people she had never met. Sakura sometimes dreamed of what her life would've been like if they were still alive, if she had a normal childhood. But she didn't feel too sad.
Shisui didn't look too embarrassed or awkward at such question either. "Oh, I'm sorry for bringing it up." He didn't sound too sorry, neither did she expect him to. Too many people in the kingdoms grow up without ever knowing their birth-givers or losing them not too long after. It was too common to feel sad about. "I had my parents when I was a child, but I too lost them when I was just barely a teenager."
'Where is he going with this?' She asked herself when he attacked again but his attacks lost the viciousness they held previously. It felt more like the practice moves they did in academy, slowly flowing through harmless movements that were easy to counter and easier to dodge. But Sakura didn't use it to her advantage. She listened.
"My parents were of the same clan, childhood sweetheart that got married young and had a love that poets wrote about. It seemed like they had the perfect marriage. Did you have someone who had a marriage like that?"
Sakura thought about it for a moment. "My aunt raised me and she never got married. My other sister hasn't gotten married yet." Shizune wasn't technically her sister, but she was close enough. "So I don't think I know someone whose marriage I can look up to."
Shisui hummed before dropping low, swooping a leg under her that she could see coming from a mile away. He wasn't fighting her anymore, he was keeping them busy. "I looked up to my parents' marriage when I was a small child, when I was naïve enough to see the world through rose coloured glasses." His smile faltered slightly before his movements stopped altogether. "I grew up, enrolled in the academy, and was thrust head first into the real world. My parents were not the perfect people I thought they were."
Sakura knew his attention was not on her when he was looking at her but his eyes seemed glazed, as if he wasn't looking at her, but beyond her. "I came home from the academy one day and saw the house was empty, but there was someone present. I saw my mother and a distant uncle, on the bed in their room."
Sakura barely held up her jaw from dropping to the floor, blinking in surprise at his revelation. "I ran away. Then I came home at the evening and my parents were acting like nothing happened. Like everything was okay, so I didn't say anything."
"How old were you?" Sakura asked suddenly, not being able to imagine how that would've effected a child to see their family being shattered in front of them. Sakura hasn't had the textbook family to herself, so she can't imagine it for herself.
"Five." Shisui shrugged, wanting to appear nonchalant but even in the slight movement, the tremors running through him were unmistakeable. "Slowly, I started to other things too. My father would disappear in the middle of the night, my mother would sneak into the gardens without us knowing. I saw they don't even sleep in the same room. I realized I didn't really have a family."
For the second time she asked herself 'where is he going with this?'. But he continued talking, maybe not realizing Sakura's befuddlement.
"Their fights increased, they stopped speaking in their own home, I saw strangers going in and out of their rooms in the middle of the night, I saw my family destroyed. I vowed I'll never fall for the trap of marriage and monogamy." His voice was far away and laden with disdain as if he didn't remember Sakura being in front of him. He almost looked lost.
Shisui blinked out of his trance and the grin returned on his face. "I'm sorry for killing your monologue, but why are you telling me this?" Sakura asked after a long silence.
He shrugged again, "I don't know, but you're a doctor, right? I thought maybe you'd be able to tell me something." Sakura almost asked just what he wants to know from her, but she found the answer in his gaze. He was looking for her to connect the dots, he was looking for her understanding. She wasn't sure if she wanted to give it to him.
Sakura crossed her arms, tilting her head slightly with narrowed eyes. "Are you looking to feel justified?"
Shisui was quiet before he sat down on the grass and Sakura mirrored him, taking her seat a good few feet away from him, out of his reach. "I'm… not sure. Maybe I'm looking for reasons, maybe I'm looking for answers because to be honest, I don't know myself." He looked straight in her eyes, irises as dark as the night and lashes as long as raven feathers. "You're a doctor, I'm asking you. Now that I've told you my story, what would you say?" can you excuse me?
Sakura picked the grass between her legs as a slow breeze rolled by, ruffling the leaves and grass blades. If she were being honest to herself, she felt more conflicted about the prince than ever. Maybe because he was a prince, he never had to apologize for his overstepping, maybe because he was a prince he was always forgiven before he even had to ask for it. He was asking her to do the same.
She didn't know if she wanted to.
She closed her eyes, imagining a little boy with dark curly hair and scared eyes, with father and mother that could be little more than ghosts in his life and a dysfunctional home. Then she opened her eyes and saw the same dark curly hair and eyes on an older face that made her feel more aggravated and infuriated than anyone else has ever did.
"I would say I'm not a doctor that specializes in the intricacies of the labyrinth that is the human mind." Sakura spoke softly but the sternness that underlined her tone was unmistakeable. She looked up through her lashes, holding his gaze and forcing him to drop his over-confident and cocky façade. "But one thing I do know from experience that ghosts from one's past often end up sabotaging their future."
To him and everyone else, he was a cocky and flirtatious prince who rattled the swordfights and had countless lovers to warm his bed. But to her, he was a vulnerable and confused man that kept looking for the missing piece in the wrong puzzle.
Shisui held onto each of her word with wide eyes and she held his gaze throughout it. She leaned back with her arms supporting behind her, a sarcastic sort of smile sliding on her face. "Shisui Uchiha, the prince of Kuroshima with a dysfunctional childhood who thinks he's rebelling by doing exactly what would lead him right into the path his parents took. You don't even know the names of the women you've slept with, you are so deep into the life of red lights that one rejections rattles your mind. Honestly, I pity you more than dislike you." She canted her head to the side with a raised eyebrow, "This is the road you wanted to take, or to avoid? So used to having his way that he can't handle it the one time he doesn't. Only being able to find solace in the physical closeness and not something meaningful. This is the road you wanted?"
Sakura decided then and there when she uttered those words that she was a hypocrite. Does she also not pick at her scab and make herself bleed every other day.
Silence once again descended on the pair but Shisui's visage was different with his eyes blown wide and mouth open under Sakura's critical gaze. Minutes rolled by without a sound but Sakura didn't break it. Eventually he closed his eyes, a quiet sigh leaving his lips before his lips stretched into a grin again, not cocky, but a splitting, cheshire cat grin that only spoke of danger.
"For someone not specialized in the intricacies of human mind, I would say you were very thorough in your analysis." His smile widened, revealing teeth that reminded her of fangs. He looked too rakish to be innocent.
"I try." It was her time to shrug, standing up from her spot and Shisui followed after her. "And I would stop beating around the bush, I didn't like the way you completely disregarded me and what I said to you. I couldn't care less about you being a peacock, but don't rope me in your shenanigans."
His grin shortened into a smile and if Sakura tried hard enough, she could almost see some guilt in it. "I won't anymore." His grim smile was the most apology she was going to get from him. But then he took a step back, straightened up and put one hand behind his back and the other on his heart and bowed waist deep. The highest form of bow, only for the members of the royal family.
He straightened up, grin returning full force. "I enjoyed our spar. We should spar again sometime."
Sakura nodded, turning away from him toward her chambers. He was a prince, she was all but a guest in their kingdom. Holding onto a grudge will only lead to her making her own life harder. She doesn't have to like him, she just had to tolerate him.
"Maybe. Sometime."
Sakura didn't hear from him again for the rest of the day, but the next day, a bouquet of lilies appeared at her doorway at dawn. She didn't want to get ahead of herself, but Ino once told her 'lilies symbolise apologies.'
AN: Done, yay.
See y'all next chapter.
