It was late Saturday morning when Rachel and Severus apparated to the Burrow. Rachel was glad it was a nice day because she knew Ginny wanted to have her birthday party outside.
Severus knocked at the door and a few moments later Mrs. Weasley arrived to let them in. "Severus, Rachel, it's so good to see you," she said, smiling at them both.
"It's good to see you too, Molly. Congratulations on your youngest child reaching her majority," Severus said.
Mrs. Weasley shook her head, but she was still smiling. "Time goes by too quickly, doesn't it? Please, come in. Rachel, Ginny and Luna are outside in the back."
"Thank you," Rachel said, following them into the kitchen and then slipping out the back door.
It really was a beautiful day and Rachel looked out at the pond and the trees and the garden and thought of how many times she'd come here for Ginny's birthday parties and how much they'd all grown since then. There were parts of her, when she looked back, where she felt like she was an entirely different person than the thirteen year old who had shown up for Ginny's twelfth birthday party. And there were parts of her that were very much the same. Maybe that was part of growing up too and seeing which bits a person brought with them.
Ginny was in a dress that was tied with a sash around the waist and had slightly sun-kissed cheeks from playing Quidditch late into the afternoons. Luna was wearing robes over a blouse and long skirt and lounging on a blanket next to Ginny. Both looked fairly content. Rachel was glad to see that while the war still lingered in everyone's minds, it seemed to have less and less power over them. There were still bad days, but they weren't every day any longer.
"Rachel! Look what I can do!" Ginny stood up and then apparated over to Rachel.
"You got your license already?" Rachel asked, smiling at Ginny.
"Yep, dad took me first thing this morning," Ginny said. She apparated back to Luna and sat down again.
Rachel opted to walk over to the picnic blanket. "Happy birthday. It sounds like you're glad to be of age."
"I am! No more doing chores without a wand. I'm now responsible for myself and can choose what I'm going to do and no one can stop me. If I knew mom wouldn't throw a fit, I'd skip my last year of Hogwarts and do my NEWTs at the Ministry."
"What about your team? Don't you want to have some coaches come out and see you play?" Rachel asked, pulling Ginny's birthday present out of her bag.
Ginny sighed. "I do. And it's important that we transition the DA. And my NEWTs. And all of that. I know. Honestly, I really didn't expect for us to be going back to Hogwarts at all. I thought the war would have forced us out of Britain by September."
"I rather expected that too," Luna said.
Rachel had been expecting that herself. "I'll miss both of you. We all will. But you'll have each other and the DA. And as far as I know, Professor McGonagall is still planning on teaching you the Animagus transformation, she said she would."
"I know. And I do want that, but…"
"It will be hard to go back when there are so many people who should be there that aren't," Luna finished when Ginny didn't.
Rachel nodded. She was glad she wasn't going back to Hogwarts. There were too many memories there. There had been good times at Hogwarts, yes, but there had also been a lot of pain there. She was ready to start fresh. As fresh as possible at least.
"You've got the tryouts for the Kestrals and the Tornadoes coming up?" Ginny asked, apparently ready for a subject change.
"Yes. Both on Monday. Kestrals in the morning, Tornadoes in the afternoon." That was going to be a long day.
"What do you think you're going to do?" Luna asked.
"Harpies if they'll have me, if not, probably Kestrals next, then Tornadoes," Rachel said, a little impulsively.
"I can't imagine the Harpies don't want you, they'd be crazy not to," Ginny said, shaking her head.
"I come with a lot of caveats," Rachel said with a shrug. "There's a fair chance that I'll attract Death Eaters when I'm in public, and my schedule with the Wizengamot is going to be a pain to work around. And with the aurors, if I actually get in."
"Do you think the aurors will let you join?" Luna asked, twisting to look as people came out of the house.
"No idea." Rachel thought her skills were up to the task, but she was aware she came with some drawbacks for the aurors as well.
"Happy birthday, Ginny," Hermione called as she approached with the rest of their friends.
"We just flooed over from Sirius'," Millie said, taking a seat next to Rachel. "Sirius and Remus send their regards."
"How does it feel to be of age?" Theo asked as he took a seat.
"Like I've been waiting forever," Ginny said. "But other than that, not that different."
"I still don't feel like an adult," Rachel told her.
"Me neither," Neville said.
"We're on the Wizengamot, I think that pretty much makes us adults," Draco pointed out.
"What's that like?" Ron asked.
"Boring," Draco said flatly.
"Really?" Ron asked, looking at Rachel and Neville.
Rachel nodded. "It's just people talking a lot."
"And it's worse than school. At least in class there was a certain time the professor had to be finished talking by," Draco said.
"I'm sure it will get better. There's probably lots of important things that you'll get to discuss. You're helping to make decisions that affect the entire nation," Hermione said.
"Doesn't make it less boring," Draco said, Neville nodding apologetically.
"I'd rather be bored than attend the Death Eater trials," Rachel said. She wasn't looking forward to that at all.
"Well, lucky for us, we get to do both." Draco rolled his eyes. "Let's not talk about Death Eaters."
"Yes, let's not," Ginny agreed. "How is looking for a house coming?"
"We've got a couple in mind. We're going to make a few visits this week and see if we can say no to some of them outright, and then bring everyone to the ones that seem like good possibilities," Millie said.
"We're looking for something that is similar to Sirius' set up, just a fair amount smaller and without the expansive attic," Hermione said.
"What, you don't want to house the muggleborn population of Britain in our attic?" Draco asked.
"It would be really nice if we had floo access," Rachel said. After having to go to Sirius' house every time she needed to get to the Ministry, she really wanted to have access to her own floo.
"Floo access is a necessity," Theo agreed.
"And electricity," Hermione reminded them.
"I still don't know what we're going to use it for," Draco said.
"Come home with me when my parents move home and I'll show you," Hermione told him, sounding slightly exasperated. Rachel suspected this wasn't the first time they were having this conversation.
"Is that happening soon?" Rachel asked.
"This week. Pretty much everyone in the attic feels ready to return home again and since none of the attacks so far have been on muggleborns and their families, everyone feels safe enough with the wards in place. Bill is going to go with the families and renew the wards on each home, so people will be moving out one family at a time. Remus thinks they can have everyone back in their own homes by the end of September," Hermione said.
"I'm sure they'll be glad to be home," Luna said.
"Definitely, though my dad told me he was going to miss being apparated to work each day. Much less traffic," Hermione said with a smile.
Rachel thought that even most muggles who were afraid of magic would grow to like it if it meant they didn't have to commute. The subject of commuting was often one of her uncle's evening rants. "Has anyone heard about their masteries?"
"I've had two of my interviews. My third one is this week. I think they went pretty well. They said they'd write me a letter by the end of August with their decision," Millie said.
"I was offered an apprenticeship by one, I have two more interviews this week. I'm going to wait until I have all of the offers before I make a decision," Theo said, nodding to himself.
"My interviews are all this week," Neville said. "I'm a little nervous, but Professor Sprout told me about all of them, so I think it will be alright."
"Well, I've actually been waiting for all of us to be together to tell you, but I made it into the Healers Training Program and so did Susan. We're going to be doing the course together," Hermione said with a broad smile.
"Congratulations," they told her in a jumble as they spoke over each other.
"I wrote my letter to the aurors. I have an interview with Head Auror Robards this week," Ron said.
"So do I," Draco said.
"What about you, Rachel?" Luna asked.
"I still need to write to Head Auror Robards, but I spoke with him yesterday and he told me to send him a letter with a copy of my NEWT scores and that he'd give me an interview. I'll hear from the Harpies by the end of August. I have tryouts with the Kestrals and the Tornadoes on Monday. I have an offer for an apprenticeship from Mistress Clough, and two more mastery interviews this week," Rachel listed.
"I think you're trying to do too much," Draco said.
"Way too much," Ron said, shaking his head.
"You've got the Wizengamot on top of that," Neville reminded her.
"I know," Rachel said. "And if I get into the aurors I will postpone my mastery until the auror team is finished capturing whoever we can reasonably capture."
"That's still a lot. What did Professor Snape say? Does he know?" Millie asked.
"He knows. He doesn't want me to join the aurors at all."
Ron let out a bark of laughter. "You should have heard my mom. She asked me if I was trying to get myself killed. She's still not happy about it, but I think she's accepted that she can't stop me from applying."
That sounded a little too much like what Severus had said for comfort.
"Sirius tried to talk me out of it as well. Said I didn't need to make the same stupid decisions he made when he was my age," Draco said.
Millie shrugged. "Parents. My mom keeps going on about how I'm wasting myself and all the things I can do with NEWT scores like mine and I want to spend my time playing with Charms. Maybe I should have joined the aurors just so she'd shut up about it."
"Somehow I don't think your mom would be any happier with you joining the aurors than any of our friends' families are," Theo said.
"I don't think we're actually going to die," Rachel said suddenly. "Like, we've kind of already seen the worst case scenario, haven't we?"
"Maybe we have. But a lot can go wrong in a fight. Just because you survived the battle at Hogwarts doesn't mean a stray spell can't kill you," Ginny said with a frown.
"And the Death Eaters want you dead," Neville reminded them.
Rachel found that she wasn't too concerned about that. After everything she'd survived in the past three years, facing a handful of Death Eaters with a team of aurors didn't sound too bad. A team of aurors was a lot more protection than she'd had in almost all of those situations.
"I think Rachel's right," Draco said after a long moment. "Nothing we encounter is going to be as bad as the battle at Hogwarts or the battle at the Ministry. That's not to say it couldn't turn deadly, they're still Death Eaters, but if they're smart at all they will be trying to retreat from us."
"I wouldn't necessarily rely on the Death Eaters being smart," Theo said.
"If it's too much, then we won't do it. We should be able to figure that out pretty fast, I would think," Ron pointed out.
Rachel nodded. "There's nothing saying we have to stay with the aurors if it's worse than we expected."
"I suppose that's true. I still say you're trying to do too much," Millie said, patting Rachel's hand.
"How is that any different from when we were at Hogwarts? Draco asked.
Rachel shrugged again. She didn't need to justify her schedule to anyone but herself.
Bill came out of the house and waved to them. "Ginny, everyone's here! Bring your friends in for lunch and cake."
Rachel got to her feet. "Before everyone gets up, let me get a picture."
She took a few steps back and managed to get everyone in frame. "Smile," she told them.
A flash later and she had another birthday picture for her album. She'd try to get another one while they were inside. "I'm glad we're here," she said as she returned her camera to her bag.
"I'm glad too," Luna said, looking thoughtful.
They made their way back to the house, ready to eat and celebrate.
"How are you?" Arthur asked, standing as Severus entered the kitchen with Molly and Rachel.
"Well enough, and yourself?" Severus asked, nodding to him and watching out of the corner of his eye as Rachel disappeared out the back door. She was more than old enough to attend a birthday party by herself, but the invitation had named both of them, so Severus had decided to come as well.
"Busy as ever," Arthur said. "I've been liaising with the MLE Patrol, they need people that badly."
"Rachel told me the losses were very heavy in the MLE," Severus said, knowing that Arthur must have lost many colleagues.
Arthur bowed his head. "As much as I hate to say it, we got lucky at Hogwarts. If You-Know-Who hadn't divided his forces the way he did…" He trailed off, letting what would have happened unsaid.
Severus knew that was true. If the Dark Lord had chosen to attack Hogwarts with everything he'd had, they likely would have been overwhelmed in the first ten minutes of battle. He was certain the Dark Lord had divided his attack with the intention of preventing the aurors and the healers from reaching Hogwarts, after all, his three primary targets had been at Hogwarts, but the Dark Lord had gravely miscalculated.
"Tea, Severus?" Molly asked.
"Yes, thank you," he said, taking a seat near Arthur at the long kitchen table.
"How is Rachel adjusting to the Wizengamot?" Arthur asked.
"She is managing," Severus said, not wanting to bring up the situation with Selwyn, though it was likely that everyone would be made aware of it once he was taken into custody. While he supported Rachel's decision, and thought it was the right decision, he was worried about what it would wind up doing to Rachel.
"Could be worse, she could be joining the aurors," Molly said, shaking her head.
"She intends to do that too," Severus admitted.
"Is that wise?" Arthur asked, looking surprised.
"I don't believe so, but I can't seem to dissuade her. I'm hoping Robards has the good sense to tell her she can't join."
"Ron wants to join as well. While I had hoped he would join the Ministry, this is certainly not what I had in mind. He seems to think that if he can impress the team he wants to join, they'll allow him into the Auror Training Program even though he doesn't have the NEWTs he needs for it," Molly said, stabbing her wand at the kettle.
"Given the situation with the aurors, I think that's a likely possibility, but it does worry me a little. I had hoped that with the end of the war my children would be done with facing Death Eaters," Arthur said.
"I had hoped that as well." He wondered if Rachel had yet told Torey she intended to seek out the Death Eaters. Maybe Torey would make Rachel see sense even if he couldn't. "What are you other children up to now that the war is over?"
"Bill is still doing Order work in the evenings. They're starting to send the muggleborns home and he's helping to make sure everyone is set up with the appropriate wards. Otherwise he's busy with Gringotts. We're hoping to see Charlie over Christmas, he's planning to take a portkey back to Britain for a week." There was a brief pause in Arthur's recitation and after a moment Severus realized that this was where Percy would be. "Fred and George are still running their shop, though most of their customer base is still the Ministry. They showed their disguise cloaks to the MLE and both the aurors and the Obliviators Squad has put orders in for them. They're still hoping to get a shop front in Diagon Alley, but for the time being they're sticking to owl order. Ron is looking to join the auror team that Gawain is hiring for, but we'll see how that goes. He has an interview coming up. And Ginny will be going back for her seventh year at Hogwarts, though she's said multiple times that she doesn't want to go back."
"She'll be alright once she gets there," Molly said as she sent tea cups over to them. "What are you planning to do now that you're no longer teaching?"
"Brewing and inventing, mostly. I'm setting up a few brewing contracts and I have a few projects I'd like to further. In a few years I'll likely start taking apprentices," Severus said. "I just finished a greenhouse in the back garden and I've expanded my brewing space in the cellar."
"I imagine that will be somewhat of a relief," Arthur said knowingly.
"There are some parts of teaching I will not miss," he freely admitted. "However, I still worry about many of my former students."
"Understandable. You spent many years with them, I'm sure you grow attached," Molly said.
"To some more than others," he said, getting smiles from both Molly and Arthur.
"Mrs. Weasley? May we come through?" Severus recognized Hermione's voice and Molly bustled away to answer the floo.
"I'm grateful," Arthur said quietly when they were alone. "I'm grateful that Ginny became such close friends with Rachel and that they have such a strong friend group. They've all had some hard times at Hogwarts, probably more than they've told me, but I've watched Ginny really blossom into a bright, responsible, and caring young woman and I know being supported in her friendships played a large role in where she's at today."
"I'm grateful as well," Severus said. "I've seen the same with Rachel, where her friends have come together to help her through some very difficult times. I know Ginny played a large role in that as well. Has she spoken to you about the loss of her yearmates and Housemates? I know she shared a dorm with Melanie and that she was friends with Colin and Quidditch mates with Felix."
"She hasn't spoken of them much. I've been giving her space. We've all suffered losses during this war. I intend to speak with her before she returns to school, I'm sure part of her reluctance to go back to Hogwarts is because of their deaths," Arthur said.
Their conversation was cut off by the arrival of the rest of Rachel and Ginny's friend group. Molly directed all of them outside and then took a seat at the table. "Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine we would be hosting a Malfoy for a birthday party," she said, shaking her head.
"Draco has come a long way," Severus said. He knew Draco still had more room to grow, but he had definitely changed and matured from the snide young spoiled boy who had first arrived at Hogwarts seven years ago.
"He's welcome, of course, but it is a little bit of a shock. From what Ginny and Ron have said, he gets along with both of them now," Arthur said.
"I think the training they all went through together helped to bond them," Severus said. "Draco is also interviewing to join the auror team."
"Will wonders never cease," Molly said. "Some days it feels like the entire world has been turned on its head."
"Combat training can do that, I still keep in touch with a few of the people I trained with when I first joined the MLE," Arthur said with a nod.
"I wish combat training had never been necessary in the first place," Molly said.
"Perhaps, but your children are now all well versed in how to defend themselves should the need arise, and that is a good thing," Severus told her.
"I would rather they were prepared and not need the training than wind up in a situation where they don't know what to do," Arthur agreed.
"And I agree in theory, I just wish the world wasn't a place where that was necessary," Molly said, looking lost for a moment as she stared at her tea.
"I wish that as well," Severus agreed. He'd much rather the world had been a safe place for Rachel and a safe place for all the children he had taught. Since it wasn't, he was glad they were prepared instead.
Rachel laid in her bed and watched as the sun finished rising. She'd been awake for a few hours now, but hadn't felt like getting up and doing anything. The dream that had woken her was one of the ones that had been recurring this past month and a half in various forms. It was in front of Hogwarts, after the battle, and she was walking among the dead.
In one version of the dream everyone was dead. Her friends, Severus, Sirius and Remus, the DA, and the Order. She went from body to body, trying to wake them, trying to find somebody who had survived. In another version she just kept walking among the dead, finding more and more bodies deep into the Forbidden Forest until she reached the clearing where she had died and then the Dark Lord was waiting for her. In the version she'd had tonight, the dead sat up and asked why she hadn't come for them sooner and why she'd let them die.
She wasn't really sure what the problem was. She didn't think walking through the battlefield had traumatized her. She didn't feel traumatized by it. She could talk about it and think about it without feeling panicked. Therefore, it didn't make sense for her to have nightmares about it. Then again, her nightmares had never followed any logic that she could figure out.
After hearing Severus going down the stairs, Rachel got up, took a shower, got dressed - forgoing the robes since wasn't planning on going anywhere - and went downstairs. She found Severus at the kitchen table, frowning down at the newspaper with a crease in his brow.
"More attacks?" she asked.
Severus shook his head slightly. "They arrested Selwyn. He's claiming he was under the Imperius Curse."
Rachel sat down at the table across from Severus, her mind racing. "Does that mean they can't question him?"
"They've already questioned him, which means he's admitted to Death Eater activities while under Veritaserum."
"Can't they ask him under Veritaserum if he was under the Imperius Curse?" she checked.
"He'll have been memory charmed by someone so that he believes that he was under the Imperius Curse. Thus one of the flaws of Veritaserum. If a person believes what they are saying, or like with the students who were targeting you in your sixth year, if they don't have a memory of what they did, they can't confess."
"So that's just it?" Rachel asked, wondering at how easily justice could be subverted by using magic to alter someone's memories.
"The MLE states in the article that they intend to pursue this to trial. Likely they will attempt to prove that Selwyn's actions were committed of his own volition, but many people will be wary of voting him guilty without hard evidence. The fact that Selwyn is Marked is in our favor. The MLE should be able to testify that the Dark Lord would not Mark someone who was under the Imperius Curse," Severus said. "The fact that some people who claimed to be under the Imperius Curse in the last war were proven to be Death Eaters in this war will also be in our favor."
Rachel exhaled as she tried to think over everything. "What are the chances he was actually under the Imperius Curse? That he's innocent?"
"Virtually non-existent. I have no doubts that he was a Death Eater in truth," Severus said with a nod.
"Can I see the article?" She wanted to know how much they had already revealed to the public.
Severus passed over the newspaper. "What do you want for breakfast? Tea? Eggs? Toast?"
"Sure," Rachel said, though she wasn't hungry at all. She began reading the article. Selywn's son was firm that his father had been unjustly arrested and that he was not a Death Eater. Robards was quoted that they had evidence that Selwyn had used an Unforgivable Curse and was involved in Death Eater activities and that they planned to pursue the case to trial. Thankfully the article was not written by Rita Skeeter and Rachel's name was not mentioned at all. That was better than she'd been expecting.
She stared at the newspaper for a long time, trying to figure out what her next step was. "Do you think I should speak with Madam Bones? She said I could come to her if I had questions."
"It might not be a bad idea to talk with her and see what she anticipates in regards to the case," Severus said, bringing her a plate of eggs and toast.
"I'll write a letter," Rachel said, figuring Madam Bones could either write back or tell Rachel to come see her.
"That seems like a reasonable thing to do." Severus returned with a cup of tea for each of them.
Rachel passed him back the newspaper and began to force herself to eat her breakfast. "Can you see any way that the Wizengamot will vote against him?" she finally asked.
"We know for certain there are some people who will vote against him. I'm certain Albus will make it clear to everyone in his faction that Selwyn was a Death Eater in truth. We also know that there are some people who will never vote against him. As for the rest, both sides will be working to convince them through various means and I can't say at this point what will happen. Selwyn saying that he was under the Imperius Curse will cause doubts, but it's by no means a guarantee that they won't find him guilty."
Rachel nodded. She supposed the MLE wouldn't be bringing it to trial if they thought there was no hope at all. She'd write a letter to Madam Bones and then she would see if she could stop herself from obsessing over it for the rest of the day.
"Was there anything else?" Rachel asked, looking over the stack of petitions that Booker had been helping her sort out. Booker had told her that people were asking her for things because she was a public figure, not because they actually expected her to do anything with most of it.
"Everything else is in hand. I'll have responses to this stack sent out by the next meeting on Saturday," Booker said, arranging another smaller stack that needed research before they could formulate a reply.
"Don't worry too much about it," Monty said from his portrait. "Once people realize that you're not a pushover, this will die out."
"Well, I mean, I'd like to help people if I can, I just don't know how to help with any of this," she said, looking at the stack again. People asked her for a variety of things, such as endorsements for their shop or product, or asking her to raise issues in the Wizengamot. For most of them Booker simply told her they would send a standard rejection letter saying that Rachel wasn't able to accommodate their request at this time. A few he had set aside saying these were actual problems that someone needed to look into before they decided what step to take next.
"You have to be careful with your image," Booker told her. "We want the Wizengamot to take you seriously, that means you're only bringing in petitions that actually need to be dealt with by the Wizengamot. Most of what people are asking you to do isn't Wizengamot business at all."
Rachel hesitated and then decided that if anyone would know, it would be Booker and Monty. "What if I did want to change something, though? Like, not exactly have a law passed, but change how something is done."
"Do you have an example?" Booker asked.
"I want to stop Azkaban. I want to stop them from sending people to Azkaban."
Booker stared at her in confusion.
"Why in sweet Merlin's name would you want to do that for?" Monty asked.
"Because it's inhumane. They are torturing people there. Killing them. Just because someone is a prisoner doesn't mean they should be tortured," she insisted. Sometimes she felt like she was going crazy. No one seemed to understand how bad Azkaban was.
"I think you've been given some misinformation," Booker said. "They don't torture the prisoners. The guards aren't authorized to use any spells on prisoners at all unless they're necessary for preventing escape."
"The Dementors are torturing them. Dementor exposure is torture. They're subjected to it constantly and it's absolutely barbaric. It's wrong," she said firmly.
"I see you've been speaking with Wizengamot Member Black on the subject," Booker began.
Rachel shook her head. "I didn't need anyone to tell me that torture is wrong. I've been exposed to the Dementors multiple times."
"Why?" Monty asked, leaning closer in his frame.
"The Dementors guarded Hogwarts for a year, when they thought Sirius was an escaped murderer. I got sick from Dementor exposure three times." One of those times had been a boggart, but it had the same effect, so she figured it counted.
"They were exposing children to Dementors?" Monty asked, sounding like he wasn't sure he believed her.
"Not purposefully," Booker said. "The Dementors were supposed to guard the perimeter of the school, but there were incidents."
"Insanity!" Monty said, shaking his head. "You're lucky no one was Kissed. Whose fool idea was this?"
"The Ministry and Professor Dumbledore's, though he wasn't very happy about the Dementors either," Rachel said, though she noted that he didn't send them away. She wondered if he'd even had the power to send them away. The older she got, and the more involved in the Ministry she became, the more she suspected that Professor Dumbledore didn't have nearly as much political power as she'd thought he'd had.
"At the time we believed the Dementors were the best deterrent to prevent Black from entering the castle. Given how events unfolded, obviously mistakes were made," Booker said.
"Mistakes," Monty repeated, settling back into his portrait.
Mistakes had been made. If Sirius really had been a Death Eater she would have been dead at the end of her third year. If the prophecy would have even let him kill her, which she wasn't sure it would have.
"What do you propose to do instead of Azkaban? I presume your view isn't to simply let criminals go free," Booker said.
"No, definitely not. But they don't use Dementors to guard prisons everywhere in the world, do they?" Rachel asked.
"I'm not certain how other magical prisons are arranged, I've never thought about it. However, given that Britain hosts the largest population of Dementors in the world, I would assume they have other methods," Booker allowed.
Rachel nodded. "So it has to be possible to confine magical prisoners without torturing them. And the Wizengamot can't say Azkaban is escape proof either. Sirius escaped. So did Barty Crouch Junior. And the Dark Lord broke a bunch of people out of Azkaban."
Booker looked at her thoughtfully. "I will tell you up front that this will be unpopular, but if you wish to pursue it, I can tap the Wizengamot Administration Services and begin gathering research on the problem. If we can identify a reasonable alternative, I will help you craft a proposal."
"Thank you," Rachel said, glad to have the next steps laid out in front of her.
"If we can get this past proposal voting, which is no guarantee, this is a project that will take several years at a minimum. Is this where you want to spend your time?" Booker asked.
"It is. I believe in this. I've believed in this for years. It's important to me," she said, though she didn't know how to put into words why it was so important.
"Alright, I'll get this started and let you know what I have within a few weeks. At some point in the near future, far before we ever bring the proposal to the Wizengamot, you'll want to get Madam Bones involved. If she says absolutely not, then we'll never get the proposal past voting. But wait until we have some data for her first," Booker told her as he stood and began collecting the stacks of parchment. "You have an appointment with Madam Bones in about five minutes. Her clerk let me know she's in her Wizengamot office this afternoon. Can you find it on your own?"
"I can," Rachel said as she stood as well.
"Alright. Have Stella come get me if you need me. I'll be in the clerks' office," Booker told her.
"Watch your back out there," Monty told her.
"I will," Rachel promised, though she already felt better about being in the Wizengamot chambers knowing that Selwyn wasn't lurking in wait for her somewhere. There were still others she needed to watch out for, but Selwyn was the one who frightened her the most.
Rachel left her office and went in the opposite direction as Booker, heading toward the offices of those who were elected. The corridors were fairly quiet this morning and Rachel nodded politely to two other Wizengamot members and their clerks, who nodded back but otherwise ignored her.
When she reached Madam Bones' office she knocked and then waited. A moment later the door opened and Stella smiled at her. "Come on in, Madam Bones is in her inner office today, you can join her there. How are you, Rachel?"
"Well enough. How are you, Stella?" Rachel asked. She figured it made sense to be friendly with Madam Bones' clerk since she seemed to see her a lot.
"Not too bad. You're mixed up in this mess?" Stella asked.
"If by mess you mean Selwyn, then yes, unfortunately," Rachel said.
Stella nodded. "Watch your back. That will become public information probably sooner than you might like. If I were you, I'd tell anyone you want to know privately before it makes the papers."
Rachel pressed her lips together. She wasn't sure she was ready to do that. She supposed she could give people a very basic heads up to what they might be reading about her.
"Let me check if Madam Bones is ready, one moment," Stella said, going into the inner office.
Rachel took a moment to look around. Madam Bones' office was about the same as Rachel's, just with different furnishing. A portrait of an older man was on the wall from across the window and he was observing Rachel. "Hello, sir," Rachel said.
"Hello. Who might you be, young miss?" the portrait asked.
"Rachel Snow, sir. May I ask your name?"
"Alcott Bones. I am Madam Amelia Bones' great grandfather."
"It's nice to meet you," Rachel said. She wondered who she might meet of her ancestors in the Wizengamot Portrait Gallery and reminded herself to ask Booker again if she could visit. She liked having Monty in her office, but it would be nice to see some of her family.
"Are you a new clerk? I rather thought Amelia had enough of those," Alcott asked.
"No, sir. I'm a Wizengamot member. I have an appointment with Madam Bones."
Alcott adjusted his glasses, which Rachel thought was an odd thing for him to do. Could painted glasses actually change how the portrait was seeing? How did portraits see in the first place? How did they hear or produce sound for that matter? Suddenly magical portraits were much more disturbing - and interesting - to her than they previously were. She'd gotten used to treating them just like people, but she was having the realization that they very much weren't flesh and blood the way she was.
"A Wizengamot member. What are they doing putting children on the Wizengamot?" Alcott asked.
"I'm eighteen," Rachel said, standing as tall as she could.
"My question stands. Have things gotten so bad? Did the war go so poorly?"
"The war was pretty bad," Rachel admitted. "I'm the last in my family line. There are two more eighteen year olds on the Wizengamot. Their families were killed in the wars."
Alcott shook his head. "Butchery, sheer butchery. These Dark Lords claim to be preserving our ways and then they kill the old families, the bloodlines we all come from. If our society fails, it will be because of them, not because of us. We tried to save lives. We keep our traditions. They make a mockery of them."
"I don't think our society will fail," Rachel said, trying to reassure him. "About ninety percent of magical Britain survived. Most of the people who left are coming home now."
"Ten percent dead in this war, ten percent in the war before it. We lost over fifteen percent of magical Britain in the war with Grindelwald. What was your year size at Hogwarts? How many finished school with you?"
"How many started or how many finished?" she checked.
"How many finished? How many educated students and citizens did Hogwarts send to us this year?"
Rachel took a moment to add them. There had been seven remaining students in Slytherin. Only four in Gryffindor, given Lavender's death and the fact that Seamus and Dean hadn't come back for their seventh year. Eight in Hufflepuff after Ernie's death. And nine in Ravenclaw. "Twenty eight students finished at Hogwarts in my year."
"Do you know how many students finished in my year, in 1872?" Alcott asked.
"No. How many?"
"Ninety eight, and we were worried about the declining population of magical Britain in my time. How many children are people having?" Alcott asked.
"How many children? I don't know." Rachel wasn't sure how she'd know such a thing.
"Your friends, how many siblings do they have?" he pressed.
Rachel thought of her close friends, the people in her House, and the people in the DA. "One or none, most of them. My friend Ginny has six siblings. Five now, one of them died in the war."
"Are you intelligent enough to recognize that we will not maintain the population that we have now, with that number? What happens in the next war, when we lose ten percent more?"
"Leave her be, Alcott," Amelia said from her doorway.
"You did not say it was this bad. Twenty eight students in her year, Amelia. Eighteen year olds on the Wizengamot," Alcott said. "Another ten percent of our population is gone in the space of how many years at war?"
"Two years. That's enough. We will rebuild," Amelia said.
"I don't see you contributing to our population," Alcott said.
Amelia straightened. "You can be brought back to the portrait gallery. Do you wish to stay here and receive news or spend another seventy years waiting for a sympathetic member of our family to retrieve you?"
Alcott muttered something, but Rachel couldn't quite make out the words.
"Please come in, Rachel. We'll speak privately," Amelia said.
Stella left the inner office and Rachel followed Amelia inside.
"Please have a seat. I'm sorry about Alcott, he is a little intense," Amelia said as she sat down behind her desk.
Rachel restrained all of her questions and shook her head. "That's alright. Neville and Draco had to choose different portraits from the gallery because the ones in their offices weren't exactly kind."
The corners of Amelia's mouth turned up. "That often happens as new family members take their seats. Usually there is a relative somewhere down the line that is more amiable to them. I know Sirius had to search quite a ways through his family line to find someone who shared his views."
She nodded. She knew that most of Sirius' family had some pretty extreme views on blood purity.
"I know that article yesterday was not what any of us had hoped for," Amelia began. "Someone has memory charmed him so that he says that he's under the Imperius Curse."
"Are we sure it's a memory charm and not true?" Rachel checked, wanting to be sure. The last thing she wanted to do was send an innocent person to Azkaban.
"I've known Alfred Selwyn for going on twenty five years, I assure you he's not under the Imperius Curse," Amelia said, sounding slightly rueful.
"Is there a way to remove the memory charm?" she asked, since that seemed like the next best option.
"Not without searching his mind, and that was not a provision granted to us by the expansion of our abilities to interrogate Death Eaters, and rightfully so, I'm afraid. The mind is sacrosanct."
"Severus said that to me too. He said that I should be very careful who I allow into my mind," Rachel said, a little surprised to find Amelia echoing his words.
"He's absolutely right. Ideally you should let no one else enter your mind. I understand you are a natural occlumens with a powerful shield?" Amelia asked.
"I am a natural occlumens, but I'm not sure how powerful my shield is," Rachel admitted. "It's kept everyone out so far, but I never tested it against the Dark Lord."
"You-Know-Who was the most powerful legilimens of our time and shouldn't be used as a measure of occlumency strength regardless. If you've been able to keep everyone else out, I would say that is secure enough for day to day purposes," she said with a nod. "Keep your mind to yourself. The only person other than you that should be in there is a Healer who is assisting you, and then only when you have given permission or they are engaging in life saving measures while you are unresponsive."
Rachel nodded. Now that the Dark Lord wasn't connected to her, she didn't see a reason that anyone should need to go into her mind, unless she screwed up her mind magic again. "What happens now that he says he was under the Imperius Curse? Will going to trial actually do anything?"
"We have some things in our favor still, enough so that Gawain and I believe we should proceed to trial. One thing is that Selwyn didn't immediately come to us in June when You-Know-Who died. The Imperius Curse should have lifted with his death and Selwyn knows procedure enough to know he should have come to us. The fact that he didn't suggests he didn't think you could identify him or that you wouldn't pursue charges if you could identify him," Amelia explained.
"Can we say that in the trial?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, absolutely. Selwyn sat on the Death Eater trials in the last war, there's no arguing that he didn't know procedure. If he had been smart about this, he would have come to us and confessed that very night before we had any evidence against him."
"Will anyone actually be convinced by that?" She wasn't sure she would be if she didn't know.
Amelia shook her head. "I'm afraid it is both more simple and more complicated than that. There are very few people we have to convince and Selwyn's claims to be under the Imperius Curse will be mostly meaningless in the larger picture. If Albus is convinced that Selwyn is guilty, then he will convince his faction to vote Selwyn guilty. I presume Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Longbottom will vote with you?"
"For this, at least," Rachel said. She knew they'd believe her. Hell, Draco had seen Selwyn for himself.
"Then between you, mine and Rufus' group and Albus' faction, we have thirty two votes. We need forty. There are ten who will not vote Selwyn guilty no matter what we do."
"Those who voted for Yaxley?" Rachel checked.
Amelia nodded. "Which leaves Ethan Davies with the guilds and the independents. Those are the people we have to convince and the Selwyns will try to convince them with money."
"Isn't that bribery?"
"Yes, definitely, but we can't prove it. The Selwyns know how to work around the law, they've been doing this for centuries. Depending on the make-up of the Wizengamot, some years we can push past it, some we can't. We will have to see how some of our newly voted in people will behave. If we approach anyone on this, it will have to be Albus and Ethan Davies, but the time for that is not right now. I will let you know when the time is," Amelia said.
That sounded a little daunting. Rachel had been sitting on this idea since Sunday, but she wasn't sure she wanted to do it. "Would me testifying to seeing him that night help? Would it help if Draco said he saw him there?"
Amelia looked thoughtful. "Let me float the idea with Rufus and Gawain. Victims are allowed to speak for themselves, so if you would like to do that, there is an opportunity to do so. Let me consult with a few people and see if I can get a better idea of the landscape. Speak with Mr. Malfoy and see if he'll be willing to give a sworn statement."
"Alright." Rachel wasn't looking forward to that conversation, but Draco needed to know that people now knew about that night and soon a lot more people would know. "Is there anything else I can do that will help with this?"
"Not right now. I will keep you up to date and you can check in with me and Stella if you're trying to get a particular question answered," Amelia said.
"And Selwyn will stay in Ministry custody until the trial?" she checked.
"His family is petitioning for him to be let out, but Rufus denied the petition. We won't be hearing the petition in the Wizengamot. Selwyn will stay in custody until his trial," Amelia promised.
"Thank you," Rachel said, glad that she had a little time where she'd know that he was safely far away.
"Was there anything else?" Amelia asked.
"Please tell Susan congratulations from me for making it into the Healers Training Program. I know she's been working towards that for years," Rachel said.
Amelia smiled. "I am very proud of her and I know she's looking forward to starting in September."
"My friend Hermione will be joining her, I know she's excited as well." Rachel stood. "Thank you for making time to meet with me."
"Of course. I hope you have a good day, Rachel."
"You too." Rachel let herself out, waved goodbye to Stella, and made for the floo. She was done for the day.
Rachel woke on Wednesday morning feeling mostly rested. The difference between the nights when she took the modified Dreamless Sleep potion and the nights she didn't were remarkable. She'd begun some preliminary research into sleeping potions of all sorts, gathering recipes and looking at the individual ingredients and interactions to determine what was happening with each one and what the commonalities were. One thing she needed to figure out was what was causing the potions to be addictive. Another thing she needed to figure out if it was safe for people to take a potion that prevented dreaming - or at least remembering dreaming - long term. The last thing she wanted to do was invent a sleeping potion that kept someone asleep, but trapped them in nightmares all night.
She suspected that she was going to need to consult with Healers that dealt with sleep - if there was such a thing - but that part might have to wait until she'd begun her Mastery. She had her second interview today. Her third interview was tomorrow. She'd done the tryouts for the Kestrals and the Tornadoes on Monday. Both of them had been more skills focused than her tryout with the Harpies - they hadn't actually played a game, which was a little disappointing. Rachel felt she'd done well enough and both coaches had told her she'd hear from them by the end of August.
Rolling out of bed, Rachel checked her watch and found that it was nearly nine. That wasn't too bad, she'd gotten slightly more than eight hours of sleep. Actually, for her, that was really good. She showered, dressed, and went downstairs.
"You've got some mail, I already checked it," Severus said, glancing up from the newspaper.
Rachel sat down at the table and checked over the envelopes. One was from the MLE. One was from the Harpies. One was from Pansy, which was unexpected. Rachel hesitated, trying to figure out which one to open first, but gave in to her excitement and quickly opened the Harpies envelope.
'To Rachel Snow,
I hope you are well.
You impressed all of us a great deal at your tryout. You are clearly a skilled flier and Seeker. I'm writing to offer you the position of Reserve Seeker with the Holyhead Harpies. Please see the enclosed contract for more details and read it thoroughly. We would like your decision by the end of August, if possible.
Feel free to write to me with any questions you have about the contract or the team before signing.
Best wishes,
-Seren Bowfield
Coach - Holyhead Harpies
Anglesey Stadium, Wales'
Rachel grinned. "The Harpies offered me the Reserve Seeker position!"
"Congratulations," Severus said with a small smile at her.
She flipped through the pages of parchment of the contract. She would read them more closely later. "Would you mind looking at this contract too and helping me make sure I'm not signing anything I shouldn't?"
"Yes, of course," he said. "Likely it will be a contract for a certain number of years on the team, terms of payment, allowing them to use your name and likeness in advertising, and a waiver of liability."
Rachel thought that all sounded okay. She suspected they would want to advertise with her prominently because of who she was, but she'd rather be known as a good Quidditch player than as the person who killed the Dark Lord.
She opened the letter from the MLE next.
'Wizengamot Member Snow,
Thank you for sending in your letter of interest in joining the temporary auror team. Please join me in the MLE on Friday at ten in the morning to discuss your qualifications. If this time does not work for you, please write to my office and we'll reschedule.
Thank you,
-Head Auror Gawain Robards
MLE, Ministry of Magic'
At least he was giving her an interview. It was better than an outright no. She set the letter aside and picked up the one from Pansy.
'Dear Rachel,
I hope you are doing as well as possible under the circumstances.
I am still staying with the Greengrasses for the time being. Daphne has begun her internship with Witch Weekly and she is very excited about it. It's been very quiet here, and I think I've needed some quiet time.
I was wondering if we could speak in person sometime soon. My availability is completely open, so whenever works for you is fine, just send a note saying when you'd like to come. If it could be soon, I would appreciate that, though I know you're quite busy with the Wizengamot.
Yours in friendship, Pansy Parkinson'
"Have you talked with Pansy recently?" Rachel asked.
"Not since the end of June. Is something wrong?" Severus asked.
"I don't know, Pansy said she just wanted to speak with me as soon as possible," Rachel said, looking over the letter again.
Severus' mouth moved into a tight frown. "I believe I know what she wishes to speak with you about, and you cannot help her."
Rachel looked at Severus. "What?"
"She will want you to use your influence to ask for immunity for her mother or to ask that her mother be pardoned."
"Is that something I can do?"
"Potentially, but you shouldn't. Ambrosia was a Death Eater. She committed illegal acts. She did not leave the Death Eaters when given the opportunity. If she was captured at one of the battles, she undoubtedly killed people. I do not know the exact charges leveled against her, but the MLE will. You cannot be seen as a Death Eater sympathizer. I know you want to help Pansy, but preventing her mother from being sentenced isn't the way to do it," Severus said, his expression grave.
Rachel frowned as she thought about it. She didn't want to hurt Pansy, but she knew that Pansy's mother had at least used the Cruciatus Curse. "I don't know what to do."
"You can choose not to meet with Pansy, if you don't want to. If you'd rather I speak with her, I can do that," Severus offered.
"I should see her, she's my friend. I just don't know what to say to her."
"Tell her that you're sorry for the situation that she's in, that you know she's been badly hurt by all of this, but that a petition to pardon her mother wouldn't be received by the MLE due to the information they gained by questioning her. By now the MLE will have questioned her with Veritaserum and they will know what they're charging her with. You can use Selwyn as an example if you need to, saying that his petition was denied as well."
"Okay," Rachel said. She thought she could do that. She would write Pansy after breakfast and tell her she could come over early tomorrow morning. She wanted it to be done and over with.
She set aside all of her letters and rose to get breakfast.
"You have your interview with Master McDonald today, correct?" Severus asked.
"Just after lunch," Rachel said. And after that, she planned to go speak with Draco and get that out of the way too.
"Gregg is a good man. I think he'll be receptive to your ideas," Severus said.
Rachel nodded. She knew Severus wouldn't have suggested people to apprentice with if he didn't trust them. "It will be alright."
"Yes, it will." Severus said, sounding confident in that.
Glad to be done with her interview with Master Gregg McDonald, Rachel apparated to Sirius' front step and let herself in. It was a good thing that Sirius didn't seem to mind her coming in and out of his home without warning. She wandered into the kitchen first, which was usually a good place to find people even though there was no longer a watch on the floo, and found Malcolm sitting with a book open and a glum expression.
"Hey," she said, taking a seat across from him.
"Hey."
"Everything alright?" she checked.
Malcolm shrugged. "We got our book lists. I guess Professor Dumbledore hired some new professors."
Rachel nodded. She knew that the professors who died needed to be replaced in their positions, but at the same time she was glad she wasn't going back to Hogwarts. She'd liked Professor Babbling. And it wouldn't be the same at all not having Madam Hooch refereeing the Quidditch matches. "I'm sorry you have to go back. I'm sure it will be hard. Do you have some OWL study guides? Do you need help picking some?"
"I'm not sure Sirius is going to buy me OWL study guides. He doesn't seem to place a lot of value on studying," he said.
"He'll buy them for you if you ask him for them. And if he doesn't, tell me, and I will fix it," she promised.
"Is there still going to be the DA this year? A lot of people left."
"Ginny and Luna will be leading the DA this year and they're going to train people to keep it going after that. If you'd like to be one of those people, just tell them and they'll help you." Rachel felt a twinge of guilt. Colin was supposed to be helping lead the DA this year. She hoped that Dennis still wanted to do it, but she could understand if he didn't. "Have you been working on your Patronus? And your Shield charm?"
Malcolm pulled his wand. "Protego." His shield flashed neatly into place.
"Good job. That was near instantaneous."
He dismissed the shield and then took on an expression of great concentration. "Expecto patronum." After a moment a thin mist began to appear. "That's all I can do," he said, pocketing his wand.
"That's all anyone can do at first, it's going to take time. Are you sort of stringing the moments of your memories together?" she checked.
Malcolm sighed. "I don't really have a lot of memories that will work for this."
Rachel nodded. "I had that trouble at first too. I was learning it in my third year because I kept having problems with Dementors. They cause me to pass out. It actually happened during a Quidditch match and I fell from my broom. Fortunately Cedric was there and he caught me in mid-air."
"He must be a pretty good flier," Malcolm said.
"He is. Cedric could have easily gone on to play for the League if he'd wanted to. That's somewhat besides the point. At that time, I didn't really have a lot of powerfully happy memories. Most of it was things like attending a birthday party for a friend or flying on my broomstick. Not really what a Patronus is looking for."
"What did you do?"
"Made some new memories. Which I know is a tall order, but I made some new memories and I learned to see some of my old ones in a different light. Things like being told I wasn't going back to my relatives, which wasn't exactly a happy emotion at the time, but I could sort of transplant that later happiness over that memory," she explained. "Are things alright with Sirius?"
Malcolm glanced at the door and Rachel pulled her wand and put up a privacy ward so he could speak freely. "I feel like he expects something of me, but I don't know what it is," he said, pitching his voice quietly even with the privacy ward around them. "At least with my father I usually knew what he wanted, even if I couldn't live up to his expectations."
Rachel thought about this, wondering if this is what Torey felt like trying to give her advice. "In what sort of situations does it feel like Sirius is expecting something of you? Can you give me an example?"
"He looks at me."
To other people that might have sounded nonsensical, but Rachel knew very well that different looks had different meanings and how disconcerting it could be to have someone looking at you and not know what they wanted. "All the time? Or just in certain situations?"
"He'll say something and then he'll smile and look at me, like he thinks it's a joke, but he's checking to see if I think it's a joke, but I don't know if it's supposed to be a joke." Malcolm looked genuinely upset by this.
"Sirius is a bit tricky," Rachel finally said. "He does joke a lot, sometimes even when he's angry. But generally, I think if he's smiling at you when he says it, you're probably alright. And if it's something really important, he will quit joking and actually talk with you about it."
"What does he want from me? Do you know?"
"Given that it's Sirius, he's probably not too concerned about your school work as long as you're not failing out. I think he wants what good parents generally want. He wants you to be safe and healthy and to make good decisions. Though, again, given Sirius, there's probably a fair amount of leeway in the good decisions category as long as you're not getting yourself or someone else hurt."
"That's it?" Malcolm asked, looking like he didn't believe her.
Rachel smiled. She remembered not really believing Severus when he'd told her this. "Yeah, that's pretty much it. If he asks you to help out with something, I'd suggest doing it, but Sirius isn't really very fussy about housework or anything like that and there's no garden to tend."
Malcolm sat for a while, his gaze on his book even though he clearly wasn't reading. "It's just different."
"It is. And it takes a lot of getting used to and there will be misunderstandings and sometimes either you or Sirius will get upset, but it will wind up being alright. It will get better." Rachel realized that even though Severus didn't want her to join the aurors, she did believe that he would end up accepting her decision. They would be alright too. She'd been avoiding talking about it to him, but maybe she didn't need to. "Do you know what you want to do after you finish at Hogwarts?"
Malcolm shook his head. "I didn't really expect to have the opportunity to do anything."
Oddly, Rachel knew exactly how that felt, though likely for different reasons. Or maybe the same reason, really. Maybe Malcolm had simply not expected to survive his childhood and adolescence. "You have some time, but around April you'll be called in to make some choices about what NEWT classes you want to take. There are a lot of options open to you, even more so now that the war is over. Do you like a particular subject?"
"Arithmancy."
"You can do a lot of things with Arithmancy and not a lot of people specialize in it so you have a good chance of getting a job there if you want one. Spell crafting or artifacting or something else?"
Malcolm shook his head again. "Just Arithmancy, learning how it works and taking apart the equations and doing new things with the equations. I've already read the NEWT book on the subject, it was in the library here."
"And you understood it? Without the professor?" Rachel asked.
"Most of it. It didn't look too closely at spell crafting. I want another book that goes beyond the NEWT book, with the equations at the next level, but I don't know how to find it."
Rachel was impressed. Arithmancy had been her hardest class and she knew she wouldn't have gotten through it without their study sessions and then rehashing the whole lesson as she and Millie taught Daphne and Pansy. "Well, I have a few suggestions for that. Check with Remus, he might know. Send a letter to Flourish and Blotts and tell them which ones you've read and that you want the next level up. Or send a letter to Professor Vector and she can tell you what book she recommends. I will warn you to be very careful if you do look into spell crafting. The very basics of it won't do you any harm, but as you start to get into more powerful stuff it can get dangerous."
"I'm not that interested in spell crafting anyway, though I suppose I should know about it," Malcolm said, looking more steady and resolved than when she'd first come into the room.
"Are there any other questions you had? Things you wanted to know? Things I can help with?" Rachel checked.
"What are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"The others, they've said that you're trying to do a crazy amount of stuff. Are you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Maybe. We'll see. I don't know that I'll be allowed to do a crazy amount of stuff, but I'll do as much of it as I can." Rachel stood up and dismissed the privacy ward. "Any idea where Draco is?"
"Last I saw him he was in the library," Malcolm said.
"Attic or second floor?"
"Second floor. Draco doesn't like going up to the attic. The muggles make him nervous."
That was very interesting information and Rachel put it aside to figure out what to do about it later. "Thanks. I'll be in and out like usual, but you can send a letter if you need me."
"Thanks," Malcolm said, returning to his book.
Rachel went up to the second floor, down the hall, and into the Black family library. Sure enough she found Draco there with a book open and a parchment full of notes. She watched him for a moment, not wanting to have this conversation, but she'd been putting it off ever since she'd shown Madam Bones that memory and she needed to tell Draco before it made the newspaper.
Draco looked up and then put his hand to his chest. "What are you, a ghost? Say something next time."
"Sorry," she said. She came over to where Draco was sitting and pulled up a chair so that she was still giving him some space but could look directly at him.
"Not that I don't like seeing you, but is there a reason you're here?" Draco asked.
"There is and it's not something either of us want to talk about, but we need to," she said, bracing herself for Draco's reaction. She'd kind of broken a promise to him by showing Madam Bones that memory.
Draco's expression went flat. "We do not need to talk about my parents."
Rachel felt her brow furrow. "Is there a reason that we need to? Has something happened?"
"Hermione didn't put you up to this then?" Draco asked.
"No, what's going on?"
Draco sighed. "She thinks that I'm denying my parents' deaths. I'm not. I simply don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. If you don't want to talk about your parents, we certainly don't have to." She wondered if it really wouldn't be a good idea for Draco to see a Mind Healer so that he did have someone safe to talk with about things like his parents and how they'd died.
"What then?"
Rachel pressed her lips together as she searched for the right words to explain this. She decided to start from the end and work backwards. "Did you see in the paper that Alfred Selwyn was arrested over the weekend?"
"I did. I take it you had something to do with that?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her.
It was Rachel's turn to sigh. "I went to the MLE. I told them that Selwyn was there that night. They..they said they believed me, but I'm not sure they did. So I showed them my memory of that night." She knew she didn't have to specify what night she was talking about with Draco.
Draco had gone pale. "Rachel. I used an Unforgivable Curse."
Rachel shook her head. "I talked with them about that before I showed them the memory. They said that people are allowed to use Unforgivable Curses under certain circumstances and that your use was allowed, just like me using the Killing Curse against the Dark Lord was okay."
"Who said that?"
"Madam Bones."
"She really said that it was okay that I used the Cruciatus Curse on you? Madam Bones said that?" Draco asked, his voice pitched slightly higher.
"She said that sometimes people working undercover have to break the law and that whatever you had to do can be excused under that provision," she said, trying to remember the exact words Madam Bones had used.
Draco looked thoughtful. "I suppose they must have some provision for that. Look at Professor Snape, he was a spy for a long time. I bet he had to do some things that weren't exactly legal."
Rachel nodded, though she somewhat doubted anyone but Severus and Professor Dumbledore knew exactly the things that Severus had done, both as a Death Eater and as a spy.
"You're sure it's really alright?" he checked.
"Yes, I wouldn't have shown her the memory if she'd said it wasn't," Rachel promised. Draco had saved her life, she wouldn't have tossed him to the metaphorical wolves like that.
"The whole memory?" Draco asked.
Rachel nodded.
Draco exhaled and looked down.
"I wouldn't have, but they said they needed the whole memory in order for the Unspeakable to verify that the memory was authentic."
"Which is downright rude, if you ask me. Why would they doubt your word?" Draco asked.
Rachel shrugged. "They don't know me. Why would they believe my word when I walked into their office and accused a Wizengamot member of torturing me?"
"Because you're the Girl-Who-Lived and you killed the bloody Dark Lord. They should be bending over backwards to help you, not putting you through that."
"Anyway, I am sorry. I know we sort of agreed not to talk about that night, and I sort of made it so that everyone is going to be talking about that night," Rachel said. "I probably should have asked you first." She should have asked him first, but everything had gotten mixed up in her head and she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it.
Draco was frowning now. "We didn't agree not to talk about it. We said there was no need to tell people things they didn't need to know. I didn't want you to tell Professor Snape that I nearly raped you. Honestly, I still don't want you to tell him that, I don't think he'll take it very well."
Rachel blushed. "I wasn't planning on telling him that, I don't think it will come up in the trial at all. But I think he would be okay with it."
"Yeah and I think you're crazy if you believe that."
"Draco, he knows very well what the Death Eaters do and what you might have been expected to do going into this." Rachel still had some questions about Severus knowing that and agreeing to send in Draco anyway, but she didn't see the point in dragging all of that out. She had lived, Draco had lived, no one had to do anything they regretted. That was the best case scenario here.
"I didn't know." Draco said quietly. "I didn't know that was going to be what happened that night until I was there and the Death Eaters were talking about it."
Rachel bit down on her lip. Had Severus not told him that because he hadn't thought things would get that far, or had he not told him that because he thought Draco might not agree to go if he did? There was no way to know without asking Severus and that wasn't something she was going to do.
"I might testify in front of the Wizengamot if Madam Bones thinks that will help sway people to find Selwyn guilty. I was wondering if maybe you'd be willing to testify that you saw him there?" she asked, wanting to get off the topic they were currently on.
Draco sat still, his gaze focused down. "I don't know if I can," he finally said. He looked at her. "Do you think you can really talk about that night in front of the entire Wizengamot? Have you told anyone about that night?"
"No," Rachel admitted.
"Not Professor Snape or your Mind Healer?"
"No. No one."
"What makes you think you can do that in front of sixty people then, and that's if it's a closed door session, which it won't be. There will be reporters there. Rita Skeeter will probably be there," Draco pointed out.
Rachel swallowed. "I can't be on the same Wizengamot as Selwyn. I can't be on the Wizengamot with someone who has tortured me. I can't just sit there next to him. I've been having nightmares where he shows up."
"I tortured you."
"You rescued me and you're shitty at casting the Cruciatus Curse anyway."
"That's not funny," he said flatly.
"I'm not saying it to be funny, it's the truth. I'm telling you that compared to everyone else there I barely felt your spell. You did not torture me," she said firmly. She didn't want Draco to go around thinking he had really hurt her.
Draco rubbed his hands over his face. "I've been dreaming about that night for two years now. Not every night, but at least once a fortnight. Not always stuff that happened, but what would have happened if I hadn't rescued you. Or I try to rescue you and it goes wrong. I don't know that I can tell people about that night. Every time I miss my parents I remind myself that the only reason that night happened to us was because of them."
Rachel still had dreams about that night too, though not nearly as often lately. She had too many things to have nightmares about for it to make more than a weekly appearance. "Have you considered seeing a Mind Healer? To talk about that night and to talk about your parents? If you're having recurring nightmares about it, then it might be time to get some help with it."
Draco sat quietly again, his mouth tense. "Does your Mind Healer really help you? Really?"
"Yes, she's helped me quite a lot. I'm far from perfect, but I wouldn't have survived this long without her. Quite literally. It can be really freeing to talk about something with someone who can't tell anyone else."
"But you haven't talked to her about that night?"
"No, but I should. Honestly, there's been a lot of other stuff going on too. I never run out of things to talk to her about," Rachel said, which said more about her life than she wanted it to.
Draco sighed and rubbed at his mouth. "I will figure out my shit. But you need to make sure you can actually do this. I would much rather that Selwyn was in Azkaban and was far away from us."
Rachel nodded. She didn't exactly want Selwyn in Azkaban, but if that was what was necessary to get him away from her, she'd take it. "I'll try."
