"So that's pretty much all that happened..." I'm currently disclosing the events of my day to Eris and Nina. And yes that includes my talk with Nanahoshi, and the revelations about Rudeus' origin.
I understand it's probably something personal to him, but I don't want to keep something like that as a secret from my friends. I already regret not confessing about the soulmate stuff earlier after all...
That said, I didn't tell Eris that Ariel is my soulmate. Something like that just sounds like it's bound to start trouble, and that trouble will be of the Eris killed a princess and now we need to run to another country variety.
Nina's face is settled on shock. "Wait so the Quagmire is from another world too...!? That's so crazy...!" And then her face goes back to normal. "So what's up with your scarf? It looks good." Oh, thanks.
Wait a minute. "Please have more of a reaction towards my insane revelation...! By the way thanks, Nanahoshi bought it for me." It's yellow, which reminds me of bananas. Perhaps I will start calling myself banana king?
Nina shrugs. "Eh, I never cared too much for the guy." She points at the quiet Eris who's standing at her side. "If you wanna see someone who cares, talk with her." But... didn't you try making him your sex slave!? What do you mean you don't care about him!?
Still, I take her advice and look at Eris. "So... What do you think about that?" I wonder if Rudeus ever left some clues of his previous life wandering around. I got summoned at a pretty inconvenient time, so I didn't bring anything useful, but maybe that happened differently to him.
To my surprise, Eris glares at me, and then pokes my chest. "As if I care about Rudeus...!" He might throw up again if he hears that! "What I want to know, is why you left the comfort of Lancel's home, even though I told you not to do that!" Oh boy, here we go...
I cross my arms and sigh. "I couldn't just stay here the entire day... That would be hell!" I look at the priest. "Hey Lancel, back me up!" If I am to resist a overprotective girlfriend, then I'll need help.
He looks away, crumbling my dreams. "The messiah did order it... Also she gave me money." It's a good thing we aren't poor anymore, so at least there's that to celebrate. Still I... kinda want to make my own money.
I already hated living off my parents cash, and now I'm supposed to do the same with my girlfriend? Yeah, I want to change that somehow, and it goes without saying that I won't take Nanahoshi's money for free either.
Eris pouts. "You could have gotten hurt, mages can be dangerous." The only thing hurt today was Nanahoshi's mental state, and Ariel's little heart... Also, Rudeus already fragile emotional state, I guess, but give me a break, he told me to go see Ugly Gobbo in the first place.
Jokes aside though... I need to swallow my pride, Eris is just worried about me, ignoring her concerns is wrong of me. "Sorry Eris, I get what you're saying, but... I can't just take a bodyguard wherever I go for the rest of my life." That sounds more in Ariel's ballpark, considering her position.
My red haired soulmate grits her teeth. "I...! Why not!? I can always be there! Next time only Nina will take quests!" I can see the blue haired girl shaking her head in the background, which means that's not a thing that will be happening anytime soon.
However, as a boyfriend, there's only one thing I can do. I pull Eris in for a hug. "We both know that isn't happening... The thing with the frogs... It was an accident Eris, not something anyone could have prevented." And hey, I certainly preferred dying to poison, over being eaten alive.
She trembles. "A healer could have prevented it... Or a mage with strong defensive spells... Or a Water God style user... There were plenty of things people could have done to make things better." She sighs. "But I... Didn't study any of those fields. Why didn't I learn healing magic or a more defensive style? Why didn't I...?" Because people don't learn everything.
I can sort of sympathize with her however, I didn't learn any important life skills either, I just... rotted away, and now I'm paying the price, since I can't do anything useful. That said, our situations are different, Eris has insane expectations of herself, I had zero of mine.
I try to give her a comforting smile. "Eris... people can't see the future, nor can they repeat the past... You couldn't have know of my dumbassery, so don't blame yourself for pursuing your passions. They're part of the reason I like you anyways." A Eris who became a healer? She would be a totally different person.
Eris pouts. "Yeah, but I was training to protect Rudeus." A guy who's much stronger than me, therefore easier to surpass. "So why didn't I learn any defensive skills...? Because I'm stupid, like always." Talk about self-esteem issues.
It takes me a moment to answer. "Eris you weren't training to protect Rudeus, you were training to become his equal, and it turns out you surpassed him at the speed of light." I think. I'm obviously not gonna tell my girlfriend she's inferior to some guy.
I continue. "Now it's my turn to try and become worthy of you... It's already a impossible goal, so please don't make it even harder by mastering everything that exists in this world." There's no way I can ever match a motivated Eris after all.
The War Goddess pouts. "But... Hey Subaru, do you have someone you want dead?" No...? What the hell is up with this question!? Can we go back to our talk of bodyguards!? Or our talk about Rudeus!?
I raise an eyebrow. "N-not really... Why?" I must resist the urge to say yes, Natsuki Subaru. Either Eris would get mad at my joke, or she would actually kill me after all... Actually she might start trying to hunt down any man with the same name.
She blushes. "It's just that... I wanted to kill someone for Rudeus, so now to make it fair I will kill someone for you." She nods to herself. "That's all... There's no need for you to worry about reaching me." Sorry, but how does this relate to our talk from before?
I like to think that I can understand Eris pretty well, all things considered, but even I am lost right now. Still, I got the gist of it, she doesn't want me to feel inferior to her, which is a hard thing to ask of me, but... well I don't her to feel inferior to anyone, so it's fair enough.
I smile. "Okay Eris, if I ever need someone dead, I'll call for you." She smiles back, but not that this argument is done... "But seriously, what about Rudeus!? He's from another world, just like me!" I won't let her dodge this topic!
She waves me off. "Eh, I don't see how... but sure, I guess." What do you mean you don't see how!? "I mean... He even has a dad and stuff..." Well, most people have dads, that's not exactly a unique thing to otherworlders!
I pout. "What do you mean by he has a dad? If you're talking about an adopted one, then yeah, I figured." Must be a real nice guy, to just randomly pick up a kid who doesn't even speak this world's language. Sorry that I cucked your son Mr. Saint!
She shakes her head. "I'm not talking about an adopted one, silly." She raises a finger. "I'm talking about his biological father Paul Greyrat... I met him once, he made Rudeus cry, so I wanted to kill him." But that's...! But that's...! "He also has two little sisters you know? The first is called Norn, kind of a brat to be honest. The second is called Aisha... she's cool." My eye is twitching.
There's a obvious way Rudeus could have been from my world, and yet have knowledge of mine, and that method is called reincarnation. It's a pretty common trope in the isekai genre after all...
But... He was seducing Eris ever since he was a kid wasn't he? That would be cute if he was also a kid, but it would be the creepiest thing ever if he wasn't... And if he was someone who reincarnated from Earth, he definitely wasn't a kid.
I still don't wanna jump to conclusions though. "Hey Eris, how did Rudeus act when he was a kid?" Maybe he got his memories when he was older! So when he was with Eris lily it wasn't creepy at all! Yep...!
She tilts her head. "He was a shameless pervert!" Oh no. "He tried to push me into bed one time, and me waking up to his sexual harassment wasn't rare..." There is just no way. "He was real smart though, I wasn't there for his first years of life, but he apparently broke like... all records for how fast a baby learns something." Or he already knew.
I look down, despair in my face as I begin muttering. "Eris, I think Rudeus might be someone who reincarnated from Earth. Sorry." I can feel the guilt from cucking him fading away, so at least that's something... Wait, does Eris even understand the concept of reincarnation?
Eris' eyes widen. "You mean like a demon...? Wow, that's nuts." And then her face goes back to normal, as if I hadn't dropped the craziest truth of her life right on her lap. Seriously what's wrong with these people!?
Nina interjects. "Hey Subaru, not to doubt you or anything... But are you sure about that? You got any proof?" Oh thank fuck! Actual doubt! Really, I will take any reaction that isn't casual acceptance at this point!
Sadly however, I really don't have proof. "No... I guess it's not something everyone would believe right out of the bat, right? But we did speak that same language." If nothing else, it's easy to prove Rudeus is from another world.
She nods. "Yeah, I guess so." And then she sighs. "I gotta say, for a man reincarnated from another world, Quagmire is kinda disappointing..." And now you've entered into casual acceptance too!?
Still, I don't to accept their acceptance! Give back my feelings of guilt Quagmire! "Eris, let's go on a date tomorrow." Those words instinctively leave my mouth... That's because I want to show the world that Eris Greyrat has nothing to do with Rudeus!
Eris blushes and takes a step back. "S-sure...! I was planning on going on a few more quests, but I guess I'll relax tomorrow..." She sighs. "I had awful luck today after all, relaxing sounds nice." Oi Goderis, anything you want to confess? "I have to ask though... why?" Isn't it obvious?
Now it's my turn to blush. "I don't need a reason to spend time with my woman." That was a line straight out of a hentai, so please forgive me! It's true though, after a few closes call with people like Nanahoshi, I want to remind myself what I'm fighting for!
Immediately Eris pulls on my arm. "Subaru, let's go upstairs... We need to... sleep early. Yeah." I have a feeling that's not what I will be doing! But I'll accept this privilege nonetheless!
Life is weird, but at least I put an end to Rudeus' evil.
I can feel consciousness slowly returning to me. As expected Eris completed destroyed my body and soul... in a good way of course. Still if this keeps up I imagine I'm gonna have bags under my eyes soon enough.
I hug my favorite woman in the entire world, besides my mom of course, let's be honest here, one's mom will always have love privileges. It's a good feeling, to press my body against the body of another...
In a way it also fills me with a bit of... shame? Eris is full of muscles, she has a bit butt, she has big boobs, her hair is soft, her face is beautiful, she has big hips, she's... I could go on and on about how attractive Eris is, and that's why I can't help, but feel a bit lacking.
That's not to say I think of myself as ugly. I'm fairly fit too, and with the exception of my eyes I think I'm handsome... Man, it's crazy how much of a boost to my confidence I have received recently.
Before... Eris confessed her feelings towards me, I would never call myself handsome, but surely if that War Goddess feels even mild attraction towards me, that has to mean something? For once I don't feel like cursing the fact I don't look exactly like my dad.
There's something strange about this situation though. Like... why do I feel an equally busty woman is to my other side? A busty woman who's hugging me at that... The thoughts of Nina suddenly defying fate cross through my mind, but there's no way.
Nanahoshi and Fitz aren't as curvy, and Ariel... I guess it could be Ariel, but... The problem is that the woman I'm hugging feels cold, like metal. Because I'm not actually hugging a woman, I'm hugging metal!
I quickly open my eyes, the drowsy feeling of just waking up is quickly fading away, being replace with panic. "Eris!?" Specially once I see that I'm not hugging my girlfriend at all. Instead I'm hugging a blonde woman who's wearing a suit of armor...!
I can feel my girlfriend moving behind me, she's slowly waking up. "Subaru...?" I need her to react as quickly as possible, because I think an invader just decided to live up to their namesake and invaded Lancel's home!
Still, before I can say anything, that blonde woman slowly opens her eyes too. "Kazuma...?" Since she's facing me, our eyes meet, and since this world is against me... I feel a shock run through my body.
Her face immediately goes completely red, and she mutters in a sultry voice. "You look like you could ruin me. Like actually make me regret my life. Like..." She's continuing! This weirdo is continuing to describe crazier and crazier things!
I try to push her away, even though she's really heavy, nonetheless with a shout of surprise she falls from the bed. The place were I was just sleeping definitely isn't big enough for three people after all.
As soon as she hits the floor there's a big sound of wood breaking. We are probably lucky she didn't break through the floor. "Ah, so it begins!" And why does she sound so happy about being pushed out!?
Still, the sound alerts Eris, and I make the process of her waking up even louder by shouting. "Eris help! There's a pervert in our room!" The War Goddess is up immediately, taking a sword she kept besides her bed and starts scanning the room for threats.
Immediately she finds the blonde woman and... jumps atop of her. Thankfully Eris doesn't stab the creep, but a familiar scene does play out in front of me, that is to say I have seen Eris beat the shit out of Nina before.
That's right, this woman is receiving the Nina treatment. "Who. The. Hell. Are. You!?" She's also receiving the Eris interrogation treatment. If nothing else, this knight looking woman will come out with plenty of trauma.
However as I get up to get a better look at it, I don't see a woman crying for forgiveness while pissing herself. Instead I see a woman with a big blush who's pissing herself. Ew, just ew.
Also... why is it that she doesn't look hurt by Eris' punches at all. "I'm sorry! It was a teleportation accident! A teleportation accident!" You don't sound sorry at all! Also our room will smell bad for all time now... I repeat, ew.
Still, her shout makes Eris stop her attack. "Explain, now." I can hear through Eris' tone that she's both impressed and weary of this wonan, because it doesn't matter if she's a pervert... Any person who can take the Eris barrage is scary.
The panting knight responds. "I'm... my name is Darkness, I'm an adventurer! My party was trying to teleport from Belzerg to Ranoa, but there must have been an error with the spell!" There's a even redder blush on her face. "Ah, I just threw myself on a couple's bed, didn't?" Yes, please die from embarrassment from it.
She sends me a smile. "I suppose as repayment for my evil acts you're gonna turn me into a onahole? Oh no...!" You don't sound very sad about your supposed fate! Also, of course not!
Eris sends me a questioning looks, as if waiting my verdict. Seriously what type of verdict am I suppose to give here!? This is obviously something I'm not used to dealing with... in fact, I just noticed that Eris and I are naked.
This is the most embarassing moment of my life, so I cover my crotch with my hands. "Of course I'm not gonna do that! Are you some sort of crazy woman!?" Any excitement I could have had has been killed over her pissing herself anyways.
However... I have to remember that this weirdo is my soulmate, so maybe she's not normally like this. Subaru Natsuki is at blame for Darkness pissing herself... When did my life started going so wrong!?
I'm definitely not gonna blame myself for this weird situation! Even the fact that I hate myself can only go so far...! This does make me think of something however... Are soulmates being pushed onto me?
I met Eris as soon as I arrived, and then after a decent bit of time I met Goderis and Aqua... Soon after I met Fitz, Ariel and now Darkness... Is this a 'luck' boost from that goddess!? Because if so I wanna give it back!
Not gonna lie though, turning this attractive woman into my cumdump does sound very nice. Isn't the act of breaking a woman knight every isekai'd man's dream? No it isn't damn it!
For some reason the woman known as Darkness looks just as hurt as Ariel looked yesterday. "You... are not gonna turn me into your sex slave...?" I shake my head in denial, for obvious reasons.
The blonde continues her questions, seemingly lost in disbelief. "You're... an alcoholic right? You abuse your woman right? You're a waste of space right? You casually cum inside without a thought right?" What kind of questions are those!?
I sigh immediately, this woman is gre- the worst. "I don't drink, I don't abuse Eris... I... I'm not gonna answer the third question, and...!" A blush appears on my face. "Like hell I'm answering the last one, though I always cum inside, it's fine 'cause I'm lucky!" Oh, I ended up answering after all.
Darkness giggles. "There's potential...! My eyes didn't deceive me! Potential to surpass the Virginzuma! Actually since you had sex you surpassed him long ago." Who are you even talking about!? Please notice that you're in a real bad situation already!
Eris glares at her, she's blushing even harder than me. "What's with those questions!? Perv!" She then slowly turns around and faces me. "By the way Subaru, are you sure you don't want to make her your sex slave?" Huh? "It's rare to stumble upon an opportunity like this you know?" I don't think the rarity of this encounter is what matters right now!
Darkness sends Eris a truly appreciative smile. "Oh, how blessed you are Mr. Nameless... Such a dastardly evil girlfriend..." Please shut up. At this point it's clear that you're some super masochistic perverted freak.
In fact I'm not sure I even believe her anymore, this girl definitely sounds like a pervert who would sneak upon someone's bed after all... If nothing else, she's living up to the knight hype! Not that living up to that particular hype is a good thing!
I look to the ceiling, wondering if I shall be blessed with an escape. "I... My name is Subaru Natsuki, and this is my girlfriend Eris Greyrat... Sorry our meeting is this awkward." I don't know what else to say.
To my surprise however, for the first time ever the knight actually looks embarassed in a way she's not enjoying. "You're Aqua's boyfriend!? Aqua's boyfriend actually exists!?" What's that supposed to mean!?
My eye twitches. "Oi..." Then I shift my look towards Eris. "Let's get dressed, I have a feeling today will be problematic." Ah, and today I was supposed to have a very calm and normal date...
And instead I got a perverted sex slave. I just keep winning really.
AN: Lalatina.
