"Why did you bring people here? This was supposed to be a talk between us two." I'm pretty sure Quagmire was supposed to be involved as well though. "Also who's the blue haired woman?" As expected this Banana is glaring at me.

I think. It's hard to tell since she's wearing a mask and all... It's strange, because the last time I went into her room, she removed it without hesitation. Maybe Darkness and Aqua are making her uncomfortable... It can't be helped though.

Before I can say anything, Aqua releases my arm. "Hello woman who smells like a NEET! I'm Aqua!" With those words Ugly Gobbo recoils back, as if struck. The goddess just ignores it and goes back to hugging my arm.

And the woman who is hugging my other arm interjects. "Aqua, please don't insult Miss Seven Stars like that..." Darkness has not let me go since morning pretty much. The reasons are fairly obvious too, even if we technically didn't have sex, we were pretty intimate with each other.

And speaking of intimacy, Eris is not following me around right, instead she's doing quests. She woke up pretty early to go to the guild with Nina and a very pissed off looking Kazuma who has been glaring at me from the moment I woke up... Well, I can't blame him, I was pretty loud.

Aqua chuckles. "Miss Seven Stars...? Does she have a ridiculous name like Seven Stars!? What a chuuni...! My claims of her NEETdom were correct!" Yeah, Nanahoshi is looking more and more dead inside as time goes on. I imagine she's having past trauma to her time as Ugly Gobbo.

I sigh. "Sorry Nanahoshi... But I couldn't just leave Lalatina alone, and Aqua will probably be important to this conversation. She's actually a pretty big deal." Maybe I shouldn't hype up Aqua like that, she will definitely get a big head from it.

The masked woman sighs. "Whatever. I fail to see how she can contribute anything to our conversation though, she certainly doesn't look like someone from our world..." I ignore Darkness' confused look at that.

However, Aqua releases my arm again and smile. "Oh...!? You're from Japan too huh! Maybe that mask is not some chuuni thing and it's actually a cheat...?" She begins walking closer to the Banana who is now too shocked to say anything.

I raise my now freed hand, and then I begin speaking Japanese. "This might sound super crazy, but Aqua is a bonafide goddess. I figured she probably had some insight to give about your problems." Also, I don't trust her enough to live her alone.

I would prefer to keep an watch over everyone who is troublesome. The only one who I didn't quite manage to keep an eye on today has been Megumin, who decided to go to the school's library. So overall I think I'm doing a decent job.

Nanahoshi gasps, and begins speaking Japanese too. "She's a goddess!? What the hell is a goddess doing here...!?" Annoying me mostly. Today I had a bunch of people approaching me and asking if I was the guy from the statues after all.

Aqua giggles, she too is now speaking in Japanese. "Ah, sorry, it's something a virgin NEET wouldn't get it...!" She squeals. "I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend! That's right, after millions of years, I'm not single anymore!" You sound way more pathetic than your average NEET.

Darkness interjects. "Excuse me, but why are you speaking a strange language...?" Because it makes me feel good and safe damn it...! Though for you it must be confusing and scary, sorry.

I send her a smile, and go back to speaking the Human Tongue. "Sorry, we are just communicating using the language from my home-..." Should I really lie about this? I mean, Eris knows, so who cares right? Besides, she is Kazuma's party member, so she's probably familiar with situations such as these.

I take a moment to make my decision, and finally choose to tell her the truth. "Actually Lalatina... This may sound crazy, but I'm from another world... I imagine Kazuma has told you something similar. Anyways, Nanahoshi is from the same world as me, and as you already know, Aqua is a goddess." The last part is the scariest part of course.

Nanahoshi sputters, still speaking our original country's language. "What the hell are you doing!? Don't go telling the truth to every bimbo you meet...!" Fair enough, but I had sex in front of this woman, so she's definitely more than just a bimbo.

Darkness however, simple tilts her head. "Oh? So Kazuma, you, her and Aqua are all from the same chuuni hometown?" Don't tell me you're in denial about this... Actually you always refuse to believe Aqua is a goddess, I suppose. "Well, I respect Megumin's mannerisms, so I'll do the same here! To be honest it's actually kind of nice, it feels like neglect play!" You...!

There's no helping, Lalatina's brains have long been lost to the void called thirst. I can only hope she will calm her down once I dick her down. Because if nothing changes after we do it, there truly will be no hope left.

The Banana sighs. "This... What's with this idiot?" You should be happy you asked that in a language she can't understand, or else she would be reacting weirdly. "Honestly Subaru, why did you even take a sex slave in the first place? Don't tell me you're like Rudeus who has decided to live by this world's morals." That explains a lot about him...

But I have not chosen the same path. This world is beautiful in many ways, but it's also ugly in many others, and I... refuse to accept the ugly side. I haven't had any contact with actual slavery yet, and if I ever do... it's gonna be because I'm putting a stop to it. That isn't to say I'm a hero of justice of course, but I... I am the son of Kenichi Natsuki, and that's more than enough reason.

Before I can put anything of what I thought into words however, Aqua interjects. "Because that Eris girl is the worst! First she forced Darkness into being a sex slave to satiate her crazy sexual desires..." It's more like Lalatina forced herself into sex slavery. "And then yesterday... yesterday... I don't wanna even think about what happened! And that horrible blue haired copycat stopped me from stopping her!" Thank you Nina!

Nanahoshi immediately raises an open palm, stopping Aqua. "You know what? I don't need to know that information..." She sighs. "Just... are you really a goddess? You don't exactly... look like divinity." It feels like her mind is stuck in another place.

Aqua proudly puffs her chest. "Well, I don't know what sort of fakers you met in the past, but I'm indeed a goddess! The name Aqua isn't just for show!" Immediately Nanahoshi let's out a groan of pure despair, the Axis Order's reputation really is awful.

The goddess continues. "To be more specific I rule over water! Also arts and crafts." That explains all the statues... And your try at destroying the city with a storm. Honestly I'm just kind of glad that I got a goddess with fairly good domains.

If Aqua is already this crazy, could you imagine someone that is like... a goddess of war and violence or something? Yeah, I think I rather have Chomusuke as my soulmate, then have to deal with that hypothetical mess.

Nanahoshi nods. "I see... Then maybe Subaru really is right, you could help us with my problem." I'm surprised Aqua's natural... aquaness has not ruined any hope you could have, but I'm also glad of course.

The goddess smiles. "Well, I don't mind helping!" I don't doubt that, there was that guy in the crowd saying you were healing the sick. Even if a few before he said that, you were trying to drown the city... "That said, I have something to ask before that!" Please don't be something stupid...

Ugly Gobbo sighs. "I figured that the help from a goddess wouldn't come from free... So what do you need? I pretty much only have money by the way." Please don't pay her before she helps you... Hell, Aqua doesn't even know what the issue is yet!

But now there are dollar signs in the goddess' eyes. "How much money are we speaking here...!? Do I get to name a price!?" She's basically salivating at the thought of scamming my bullying victim... Maybe I should have left her home. Though she would probably follow me anyways.

Nanahoshi hesitantly nods. "Yeah... I don't care about the money of this world, and I don't see why a goddess would care about it either to be honest..." She then shakes her head. "But it's none of my business. If you can help me, I'm willing to pay any price." This world isn't that bad you know...

Aqua actually chuckles. "Okay then! I want a million coins...! No, a billion...! No! A... a tri-, yeah, no that's too much. I'll take a hundred billion!" How is that not too much!? Please act like a goddess for once!

I basically have to growl out my answer. "Aqua will be doing this service for free, don't worry about it Nanahoshi." Well, I guess I can't complain if she does ask for compensation, but everything has limits damn it!

The goddess pouts. "No! I'm definitely not doing it for free! And now I want a trillion coins! And in divine currency too!" What the hell is divine currency!? And how the hell does a mortal even obtain that!?

My right eye twitches. "Whatever, do as you wish..." I can't help, but start muttering. "Why did I even bring this idiot with me...?" Of course she was gonna pull something like this. I have enough contact with Aqua to tell she's insane at this point.

I sent an apologetic look towards the Banana. "My bad Nanahoshi, next time I'll come alone..." In the end I just wasted her time, but that's what I deserve for trying to escape my debt. I'm the one who owes Ugly Gobbo after all, not Aqua.

The girl takes a moment to respond. "It's fine Subaru. In fact take this as a lesson... Every god who's associated with Heaven is a lazy bum, if you have some sort of divine problem don't even try going through their bureaucracy, they will ask for exorbitant amounts, and they will probably lose your case midway through." Why do you sound like you're speaking out of personal experience, and yet you don't at the same time.

Aqua's hold on my arm suddenly gets even tighter, it actually makes me flinch. "H-hey! Don't bad mouth us gods like that! Specially in front of my boyfriend...!" She then sighs, a look of pure pain in her face. "But fine, I'll help for free. Just this once though, because Subaru made me feel bad." You have sympathy!?

Welp, it's positive encouragement time. "Thanks Aqua... I would pat your head, but Lalatina is currently holding onto my arm." I already treat the knight like a dog, so surely I can do the same with the goddess...? Thinking stuff like that might send me to hell.

Aqua immediately glares at her friend, and returns to speaking the Human Tongue. "Hey Darkness, go back to Belzerg! You're interrupting my event scene here...!" It always surprises me when she does a modern reference...

I wonder if I could annoy her or Eris into getting me modern stuff from Japan? I miss anime and games... Nah, if I was given such comforts I would undoubtedly return to NEETdom immediately.

Darkness raises an eyebrow. "Sorry... But should I actually leave?" She's asking that question to me, not Aqua. There's genuine curiosity on her tone, probably because we have been speaking Japanese and she has no idea of what's going on.

I shake my head. "Nah, sorry about confusing you like that Darkness. Aqua is just a bit mad, for something unrelated to you." Never in my life did I think a girl would get mad because I can't pat her head. Seriously when did my life get so weird and fantastical!?

Aqua huffs. "Geez Subaru, you really need to pick a side already!" I did, that side is called Eris Greyrat. "It's like you're playing the world's craziest eroge and trying to get a harem route...! That's something I would expect from Kazuma, not my beloved!" I'm trying to avoid the harem route though!

I wave her off. "You already know all about my love life, so don't even start with the love life thing." Before she can say anything back, I look towards Nanahoshi. "Anyways, can you please explain your situation to Aqua? Like she said, she will be helping you for free..." We need to move on before she changes her mind.

Banana nods, and begins speaking in Japanese. I guess we are back to that language, sorry Lalatina. "Yes. My problem is very complicated, you see I wan-." Before she can say anything she's cut off by Aqua.

The goddess has a serious face on. "Before you say anything, take off that mask. If you're asking something of a goddess you should at least show your true face." Well, I do miss seeing her cute expressions.

Nanahoshi touches that very same mask, as if to check that it's still there. "Do I really have to do that...? I don't want to..." She can't find the strength in herself to finish that statement. It's strange... It's not like her face is scarred or anything.

Aqua raises an eyebrow. "Don't want what? To let the world see you? I suppose I cannot do anything about that, however if you don't show me your face... The only way you're getting my help is if you join the Axis Order...!" A fate worse than death!

And Nanahoshi agrees, because she immediately starts sputtering. "W-wait a second! The truth is... is that even showing my face is dangerous. I'm... I'm an anomaly, and one that is frozen in time, so if a god or Od Laguna realizes the state I'm in, I might get erased..." That sounds really bad!

But Aqua just waves her off. "Please! As if that would happen! I mean we have plenty of things that shouldn't exist running around right? Even if you're frozen in time, the world won't autocorrect by deleting you. Fate won't delete you, it is far more probable that it pulls you in, fixing that problem in the first place... Well, unless you have something actively maintaining your condition." A-are you actually saying high concept stuff right now!?

For a second I almost forgot that Aqua is a goddess, but of course she would know about fate and stuff. She knows about soulmates after all, knowledge that seems to be exclusive to her, Eris and the Love God.

Nanahoshi trembles. "I... that's good to know, but... I do not wish to be pulled by this world's fate." I guess that would make coming back to Earth harder huh? Well, for me it doesn't matter at this point, my fate is undoubtedly tangled with multiple other people.

That is to say, I will never return to Earth, no matter what...! But I did make a promise to Nanahoshi that I would get her back home specifically, so I guess I'm gonna need to convince Aqua to let Banana over here keep her mask.

Aqua pouts and looks away. "Then I'm not helping! I don't like a girl who never takes her eyes of my boyfriend, and then also has the gall to not show her face." I'm not your boyfriend though.

After some time, Nanahoshi hesitantly begins to remove her mask. "Fine. You annoying goddess..." And yet again I'm greeted by the sight of a beautiful young Japanese girl. It's kind of funny how she immediately loses all her intimidation points.

Darkness gasps. "W-wow, it's the legendary...!" And then her face returns to neutral. "Actually I have no idea who you're supposed to be." Right, from the perspective of the knight, we just had a super long conversation that lead to a dramatic reveal... Except that reveal isn't dramatic at all.

I smile and respond to my sex slave using the Human Tongue. "Don't worry Lalatina, Nanahoshi over here isn't a legendary warrior or anything. She's just an average girl, so I would appreciate if you could become her friend." I then shift that smile towards Nanahoshi. "That would be nice, right?" She definitely need more of them.

Her right eye twitches. "What are you? A parent trying to set a play date?" I'm just trying to save you from the NEET skill tree, in my experience you will regret dumping all your points in it. "Sorry, but if someone is your friend... Then I'm probably not compatible with them. Specially if she's your sex slave of all things." Ah, I guess your childhood as Ugly Gobbo has taught you that I don't keep the best company around.

Darkness however, just grins. "You speak as if being a sex slave is a bad thing..." It is! "I have climbed my way into heaven you know? That V that constantly followed me around is gone!" No, it isn't.

Seriously. "It definitely does." She just masturbated on the corner after all. Also don't bring this stuff up in front of this pure Banana. She's slowly changing her form and becoming a tomato after all, a Tomatohoshi if you will.

Darkness immediately understands what I'm getting at, and so she looks down with a blush. "It counts! It definitely super counts!" Seriously stop, Aqua is now slowly beginning to glare at you, and she can be dangerous.

Nanahoshi sighs. "I'm surrounded by idiots." She then looks at Aqua, and goes back to speaking Japanese. "Okay, now help me with my problem." So we are back to bullying Darkness huh?

To my surprise however, Aqua continues speaking using the Human Tongue. "Okay! Just tell me and I'll lend a hand!" Weird... Wait, don't tell me you're genuinely trying to end her NEEThood by dragging Darkness into the conversation.

Nanahoshi raises an eyebrow, and after taking a side glance at the knight, decides to follow the goddess' lead, switching to the Human Tongue as well. "I'm stranded into this world, and I... I want to go back, can you help with that?" She did sort of revive me, so hopefully she's capable of this too.

Before Aqua can respond however, Darkness interjects. "W-wow! I'm being granted access to this chuuni talk?" She bows. "I'm flattered, even if I have a feeling Megumin would enjoy this more." We really don't need to introduce her to the concept of alternate worlds.

Aqua nods. "Yeah! This chuuni talk has opened up to the world! Having secrets is bad you know? They rot the soul... metaphorically speaking. I actually lie a lot." Don't tell us that! "Anyways, first things first... Did you die and then get brought over to here Miss NEET?" Essentially Aqua is asking her if she has passed through the gods system.

The Banana shakes her head. "I haven't... I really don't know how I appeared here. A few years ago I was just... having an argument with some friends, and then I woke up here." Wait a second...

I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean a few years ago? I was under the impression that you were summoned as a high schooler..." She looks like she's a first year, so maybe like... a year or two before I got teleported.

Bananahoshi becomes Tomatohoshi. "Well... The truth is that I got summoned... a long, long time ago. I just haven't aged because time is frozen for me." But that would mean... You totally became a secret old hag! "Ah, I also don't know how we got summoned from similar times, even if I spent all this time here."

Aqua shrugs. "I wouldn't worry too much about time stuff if I were you. Even I don't understand how Heaven works, time is like... a little ugly wiggly worm after all." I think she definitely needs to worry, since she's trying to get back to her old world!

Still, I can't help, but laugh. "So the Ugly Gobbo became an Ugly Hobgobbo while I wasn't looking huh?" She's smurfing damn it!... Ah, I just said some really bad stuff didn't I? Well, at least she hasn't followed the path of the Quagmire.

She immediately scowls, her Tomatohoshi form becoming even redder. "S-shut up! don't go commentating on my age, d-dumbass!" She looks down. "B-besides, the time I spent on this world doesn't count..." It totally does, but keep coping, I guess.

While Aqua laughs without concern, Darkness raises an eyebrow. "You three have such deep lore established... Now I'm beginning to be interested in this culture." Only people of this world would consider chuuni statements as culture.

But this is an opportunity to further Aqua's plan. "Well, I'm sure Nanahoshi won't mind telling you more about it later." I really am setting up a play date for my lazy daughter who never leaves her room... If nothing else, this is training for my future kid with Eris.

An embarrassed Nanahoshi tries getting my attention. "Stop bringing other people into this!" She then looks at Aqua. "And tell me if it's possible to bring me back already!" I guess this is the moment of truth...

Aqua sighs. "You're no fun... You think as a NEET you at least would have the decency to do something embarassing!" Normally I'm the one embarrassing her. "Anyways, it's totally possible! You may now thank me!" She sends the Banana a cocky smile.

I imagine normally Nanahoshi would have some smartass comment about Aqua's attitude, but instead her jaw hits the floor. This girl has just been shocked to the core. "There is...?" Aqua slowly nods.

And then Nanahoshi basically jumps at her, freeing my arm from Aqua's hold, and rather forcibly at that. The NEET is now shaking the goddess' shoulder with all she can. "Y-you have to take me back! Please, I'll do anything you want to! I really will find some way to give you trillions if necessary!" I doubt you can do that!

Aqua groans. "Ah! Stop shaking me! Your NEETness will transfer over!" As soon as she says it, Nanahoshi stops, though her expression of shock doesn't change at all. "There is one... very small issue however." As expected. Nothing is so easy in JRPG land.

Immediately Nanahoshi's shock is replace with... there's no other word to describe it except for despair. "Of course, what was I expecting...!?" She clearly holding back tears, and probably feeling like we just dangled hope in front of her face for nothing.

Lalatina's expression shifts into worry. "Um... Can I be of help...?" As expected of a knight, even a perverted one. Her first instinct is try to help, even when she's clearly completely and utterly lost.

Nanahoshi just ignores her however, she's... she's lost in her own mind, trying to not breakdown. And while she does that, Aqua looks completely perplexed and even... guilty. I don't think she realized her words would have such an impact.

Now that Ugly Hoggobbo is crying, there is only one thing I can say. "Nanahoshi, have faith in Aqua. She may be an idiot, but she's not cruel..." At least that's what I choose to believe. She healed the sick and made statues after me, so even if she is who she is... I have some affection for her.

Aqua takes my cue and sends Nanahoshi a thumbs up. "Y-yeah! Don't worry Miss NEET you may not be a cute faithful follower of mine, but I won't let someone like you stranded amidst another world." It's as she finishes that I notice Aqua is crying too.

I raise an eyebrow of surprise, but before I comment on it, Darkness' whispers in my ear. "She can be surprisingly empathetic, stuff like this comes naturally for her." Really? I didn't expect that from a goddess of freaks.

Or maybe I should have expected that? Only someone who truly sympathizes with others could accept such strange individuals as followers. Besides, Lancel is a believer of the Axis Order and he's kind to the core.

Nanahoshi takes some time to recompense herself. "R-really...?" And as Aqua nods, she tries to bring her expression back to a neutral one. "I... Thank you Lady Aqua, my apologies for my freakout." She called her Lady Aqua!? Scary! A scary team might form soon!

Aqua smiles. "It's fine, I can tell you really are in a lot of pain..." She clear her throat. "Anyhow... Sadly I cannot simply go to heaven right now... due to certain people." Right, she needs to beat the Demon King for some reason. "What I can do however, is contact a Kouhai of mine. She's a good girl, so she will try her best to fix this situation." A Kouhai? Is she talking about Goderis?

The goddess continues. "There are some problems however... It will probably take a few years. I don't know who exactly told you, but they were right when they said Heaven's bureaucracy is a mess... And my Kouhai is way too much of a goodie two shoes to break the law. That's why I give... a good twenty years before this mess is fixed." That sucks really badly!

Nanahoshi gives her a trembling smile. "That's more than enough for me... I... For the longest time I had completely lost all hope." So she was pushing through on will alone... "I won't stop my research with Rudeus, but it's good to know that one way or another I'm going home eventually..." I suppose just having a guarantee is already amazing.

Aqua smiles. "That's good then... By the way, there is a chance your rescue might come even faster due to some stuff... I won't guarantee anything though." After saying that she sends me a look.

It takes me sometime to grasp what she's trying to say, but I get it. Aqua is stuck here because she needs to defeat the Demon King, so if I keep my promise to her, she can go back home and say fuck bureaucracy. She's nothing like Goderis after all.

Great, now two of my promises are tied together. Don't these women get that Subaru Natsuki never keeps his promises damn it...!? Ah, I guess I'm just gonna have to try and pull through somehow. I owe both Nanahoshi and Aqua, so the Demon King is definitely my enemy...!

Nanahoshi clenches her fist. "Right... I made progress... Real progress...!" She sends Aqua a bright smile. "Thanks a lot, you're worthy of the title of divinity!" I repeat, I beg of you to not hype up Aqua.

And then she looks at me. "And... thank you for bringing her here. Even if I have no idea how you managed that." Eh, soulmate hacks. I really did nothing special, in the end nothing about me has changed at all.

Darkness suddenly coughs. "Um... I don't mean to be rude, but you two... you two seen to be treating Aqua like she's an actual goddess, which is fine in most circumstances, but... Since it seems you are genuinely far away from your homeland Miss Seven Stars, I must warn you that Aqua is just delusional." I feel like you're the delusional one sometimes.

Is it really so hard to believe Aqua is a goddess...? Ah, I just remembered her comment about her backdoor. Sorry Darkness, you're totally right, I can't blame you for just thinking she's a nutjob.

While Banana raises an eyebrow, I wave her off. "Don't worry about it Nanahoshi, Lalatina here is just in denial due to Aqua's... personality. She really is a goddess though." I ignore how my sex slave rolls her eyes.

Aqua huffs, crossing her arms. "Ah! You're so hard to please Subaru! Didn't I just act like a super cool heroine just now!? Where's my praise!? My promises of marriage!? Your dumping of that chick who probably pads her chest!?" Trust me, she definitely doesn't do the latter.

I sigh. "Aqua I..." I don't really wanna compliment her, not because she did a bad job or anything, but purely because I don't want her to get anny funny ideas. "I'm really thankful for your help. I owe Nanahoshi a massive debt, so I appreciate what you're doing." I can't be an asshole to her just because I'm dating another girl.

The goddess grins. "Now that's what I like to hear! I'm expecting an amazing life of us getting into debt and then helping each other, ya hear me!?" That sounds more scary than romantic though...! Also, I definitely messed up by encouraging you...

I turn around to face Nanahoshi. "So... what did you need anyways? Because I don't mind helping with pretty much anything you need." Aqua's help wasn't the main topic of conversation here after all, it just kind of shifted to that.

Originally Nanahoshi wanted to ask me to go meet her and Rudeus... Which I assume had to do with us being Earthlings. However, the Quagmire isn't really here right now, so I'm assuming I'm gonna need to call him.

To my surprise, Tomatohoshi makes her return. "I... I actually wanted to help you with a few school related matters." Oh? "I mean, you don't know how to read and write right? And yet you're about to start here as a special student..." Ah, so this Banana just wanted to be helpful.

It's true that I'm screwed, so I would definitely appreciate it. I talked with the principal before coming here and according to him I will be an official student in about a week, that includes having a room exclusive to me of course.

Still, attending normal classes? Training swordsmanship with Eris? Learning how to read and write? Any of those sounds like a toj of work by itself, but I'm gonna need to do all three at the same time? What am I? A Persona protag?

It's gonna be a long journey ahead. "I would really appreciate the help Nanahoshi." And it's a journey I can't back down from. I'll work hard if needed, I'll work harder than I have ever worked in my damn life before...!

As the totally not a NEET smiles, Aqua raises a hand. "Hey, I approve of education and all..." Surprising! "But while you guys are studying, can I hang out here too?" That sounds like actual hell, but I wouldn't say no.

Darkness' interjects. "I would also like to participate... I can read and write as well of course, so I would like to help... my master." I would appreciate your help more with swordsmanship training, but alright.

In the end though, the decision is Nanahoshi's to make. "Y-yeah, sure. That's fine. I guess." Ah! She's slowly escaping NEEThood!

Aqua is a scary woman!

AN: I once dreamed Nanahoshi was about to rape me, but then I woke up. Anyways, I opened a , check that out in my signature if you hate your money... and... a-and if you love me!

Sorry if you do by the way, I'm happily married to Shaula, yep.